All language subtitles for Murphy Brown s01e09 I Would Have Danced All Night

Tonight you're mine completely.

Believe me, if there were any way I
could help get you in, I would.

But you know the inaugural ball is the
hottest event in town.

Come in.

I'm sorry, but what can I do? I'm just
your average gal on the A -list, and

every guy in Washington wants to go with
me.

You know you can't play favorites in
this town.

Thanks for understanding.

And nice talking to you again, President
Nixon.

Give my regards to Pat.

The man is a groundhog. Every February,
he's back.

Can I help you?

I just want to introduce myself, Miss
Brown. I'm Catherine Tracey, your new

secretary.

Right. New day, new secretary.

Well, maybe you can start by
transcribing this interview.

By the way, where in England are you
from?

And I'm not from England.

I'm from Brooklyn.

Born and raised there I was.

Brooklyn is in the bridge?

Right you are.

I'm an actress, see?

Working on Eliza Doolittle in class.

My teacher says the best way to get
comfortable with a character is to be at

dice. I'll get right to this.

Morning, Plugger.

I have good news.

The network has asked me to anchor the
inaugural parade.

Jim, that's great. What an honor.

Yes. Yes, it is.

It's going to be me and Valerie
Bertinelli.

She's really matured, don't you think?

Jim, did you get your ticket to the
inaugural ball yet?

Yes, last week.

This is really strange.

I didn't get my invitation yet.

I wonder if Earl in the mail room did
something with it. It's been really

distant ever since I refused to
contribute to the Send Earl to Graceland

If I were you, I'd check with the
inauguration committee. They may have to

you another ticket.

Hi, Murph. How's it going?

Oh, not bad.

Say, Frank.

Did you get your ticket to the inaugural
ball this year?

Yeah, I did, but I can't decide if I'm
going or not. Guys I play poker with are

making their annual trek to Vegas that
night.

Oh, come on, it's great. We get a couple
of rooms at Caesar's Palace, gamble all

night, take some raw meat to the
Siegfried and Roy show.

You know, I didn't get my ticket yet.

Did you check with Earl? He hates you,
you know.

I want to talk to you about something.
It's personal.

Oh, uh, Corky, could we do it another
time? I'm supposed to be out on location

and I've got... You can spare five
little minutes, Frank.

This is very important to me.

You got an invitation to the ball,
didn't you?

Well, yes, I guess so, in a manner of
speaking. Did you or didn't you? Yes, I

did. Well, I didn't. I've been excluded,
Frank.

It's humiliating.

You got an invitation. I want you to
take me.

Oh, uh... Gee, take you.

There's an interesting idea.

Frank, I'm offering you the opportunity
to escort me to the biggest social event

in Washington.

What exactly is your problem?

Corky, I haven't decided if I'm going or
not. And even if I am, there are other

women in my life.

Oh, like Brenda?

You'd go to the inaugural ball with a
woman who looks like she's got a

device strapped to her chest.

You disgust me, Frank.

I need to talk to you about something.
Kind of personal.

Miles, I am really late. I'm supposed to
be on location and... This is the

situation.

Somebody I've been thinking about asking
to the ball, but I'm not sure. Who is

it?

Jackie.

Jackie who, Miles? Jackie Collins?
Jackie Bissett? Jackie Mason?

Jackie from the art department.

Oh, that Jackie.

Yeah, that Jackie.

There's been an attraction kind of thing
going on for a few weeks.

You know how it is.

You brush hands in the elevator, make a
lot of eye contact.

Last week, she sat at my table at the
commissary. I asked her to pass me the

salt. She did.

Great.

So, uh, what's the problem, Miles?

Well, there are some differences.

Political? No. Religion?

No. What else is there?

She's taller than I am.

So?

So... Do you know what it feels like to
stand next to a woman you find

attractive and have to look up?

It's not pleasant, Frank. Your neck is
exposed.

That's a very vulnerable feeling.

In the animal kingdom, it's a sign of
submission.

If it bothers you, then why ask her out?
Because I'm bothered by the fact that

I'm bothered about the height.

Then ask her out. I can't. She's taller
than I am. Then don't ask her. You're

not getting this, Frank. I don't have
time to get it.

Frank, wait up.

I need to talk to you about something.
It's personal.

Oh, man.

I just spoke with the inaugural
committee.

They said I'm not on the list. Of course
you're on the list. You're always on

the list. I'm not on the list, Frank.
That's what they said. What do you think

this means? Do you think it's a mistake
or do you think it means I'm not on the

list? It's a mistake. That's what I
think. How could I not be on the list?

not possible. I'm always on the list.
Everybody knows that. Come on.

Call them back, Murph.

Right. I'll call them back. Thanks,
Frank.

Frank, do you think that if I...

Not Murray. Do I sound like a Murray to
you?

Let me speak to Bob Prescott.

Prescott. He's the chairman of the
inaugural committee.

How did you people ever win the
election?

Hold on, Miles. I'll be with you in a
minute.

Hi, Bob.

It's Murphy Brown.

Listen, I hate to bother you, but some
bozo on your committee erased my name

from the inaugural ball list.

I know. Accidents happen. It's okay.

Of course I'll hold.

What can I do for you, Miles?

Wanted to ask your opinion about
something.

It's not work -related.

Well, in a way, it is. Although,
technically, it's more of a personal

Miles, if you want to ask Jackie out,
just ask her.

You knew?

We all know. Don't ever tell Frank
anything.

Oh, jeez.

Ask her, Miles. She'll probably say yes.

I just don't want to look foolish.

It's my first inaugural ball.

What will people say?

What would you say if you saw a taller
woman with a shorter man?

Good evening, Dr. and Mrs. Kissinger.

I'm just afraid she's going to laugh at
me.

Miles, she isn't going to laugh at you.
You've got a lot to offer. You're bright

and funny.

You know all the state capitals.

Although I wouldn't lead off with that.

Hi, Bob.

What do you mean I'm not on the list?

I've been on the list since Lincoln.

Well, then the computer's wrong.

Oh, come on. You can pull a few strings.

Okay, fine.

But the next time that fat kid of yours
wants to meet Maria Shriver, forget it.

Wow, this is amazing.

I can't believe it. You must feel awful.
Give it a rest, Miles. What's going on?

What's the matter?

Murphy wasn't invited to the inaugural
ball.

I mean, I could understand if I hadn't
been invited, but you... Oh, Murphy.

I know why I'm not going. I'm not on the
A -list yet.

but to have been there and fallen.

Oh, this is just too sad.

Will you knock it off? I'm telling you
this is a mistake.

Maybe not.

Could be you ruffled too many feathers.

There was your story on Iran -Contra.
Yeah, and your piece on Bush's tenure at

the CIA.

And let's not forget your interview with
the girl Dan Quayle paid to take to his

senior prom.

I hate to say this, Murphy, but it looks
like the handwriting is on the wall.

Don't you... Don't worry, Murphy.

We don't need that stupid ball.

We can spend the whole evening together.

We'll eat slice -and -bake cookie dough
right out of the freezer.

Then we'll watch the ball on TV and pick
who we want to marry.

Eliza Doolittle. She's dead.

Maggie, Maggie the cat.

Oh, Brick, if you hadn't broken your
silly leg, we could be going to that

I want to dance.

Dance with me, Big Daddy.

Now, just hold it right there.

Congressman Kemp.

Could you get him out of the meeting?
This is important.

I need a ticket to the inaugural ball.

Hello?

Yeah, this is Murphy Brown. I'm on hold
for Senator Dole.

Okay.

So if you hear of any available tickets,
you'll let me know?

Yes. I know you know what it feels like.

Thank you.

Thanks. Goodbye, President Nixon.

Hi. You beat me here.

Hope I didn't keep you waiting.

I mean, obviously, I kept you waiting.

Hope it wasn't long. No, I just got here
a minute ago.

Great. Great.

So I forgot to tell you earlier, but you
look great.

I love that dress.

Thank you.

And the shoes.

Real nice.

Though I bet low heels are a lot more
comfortable than those high ones.

Never understood how women could walk in
those things.

Shall we sit down? Okay.

Okay.

So.

So, I guess you're wondering now why I
asked you to meet me.

Well, yes.

I wanted to talk to you about something
and I didn't feel comfortable doing it

in the office.

Uh -huh.

This is harder than I thought it was
going to be.

Okay, I guess the only thing to do is to
be direct. I'm being fired, aren't I?

What? I can't believe this.

Everything was going so well.

I like the people.

I like the work. Wait, wait, wait. Hold
on a second.

I'm not firing you.

I'm asking you to the inaugural ball.

You are?

But if you don't want to go, it's okay.

I understand completely.

Of course I want to go.

You'd ask me out, but this is more than
I expected.

Oh, great.

Really great.

Would you like to have some dinner with
me? No. I mean, I can't. You gave me

that deadline on the art cards for this
week's show, and if I don't get back to

the office... All right.

How about that one?

But, uh, call me later, okay?

break her heart there, Miles. Looks like
she could beat the hell out of you.

Phil.

Murphy. I need to ask you something. I
have no idea why you're not going to the

ball.

Of course you do. You know everything.

Now spill it, Phil. I can take it.

It's an enemy's list, isn't it? I'm on
an enemy's list. I swear, kid. I haven't

heard a thing about an enemy's list.

And if I haven't heard, there isn't one.

Then why wasn't I invited?

Oh, God.

You don't think I'm on my way out, do
you?

I've seen this happen before.

First, you don't get the invitation.

Then they don't return your phone calls.
The next thing you know, you're doing

one of those afternoon shows with Regis
Philbin.

Come on, Murphy.

You're not out. I would have heard
something.

Unless I'm out, too.

to get to that ball.

Hey, Phil. Hi, Murph.

Hi, Frank.

How's my best friend, my old buddy, my
pal?

I can't watch this.

Look, Murph, I decided to go to the
ball, but I already asked somebody.

You asked somebody?

Who'd you ask?

Mary Hart.

You invited Mary Hart to the inaugural
ball?

She's going and I'm not?

Murph, I love her.

Hi, Miles.

Hey, Murphy.

Miles.

You know, I've been thinking.

If you really want to make an impression
at the ball, you've got to be seen with

somebody important.

Somebody famous.

Me.

Ah, gee, Murphy. I already asked Jackie.

And thanks to you, she said yes.

Miles, the woman is six feet tall.

Do the words mutt and Jeff mean anything
to you?

This is not an attractive side of you,
Murphy. Ah, shut up.

Murphy, I have to talk to you about
something.

Look, Corky, let's try not to be so
depressed.

Okay, our pride is hurt, but it's only
one night.

That's such a healthy attitude.

Let's not even watch the thing on TV.

Let's go out, do something fun.

Maybe go bowling or... Murphy, I'm going
to the ball.

What? Ken Dolan asked me, the White
House caterer.

I'll be spending a lot of the evening
alone, but at least I'll get served

I hope you're not mad at me, Murphy.

No, I'm glad you're going. It'll give me
a chance to break into your apartment

and set your clothes on fire.

Yes, I did. I really did.

Sorry,

kid.

Isn't life crazy?

Four years ago, I was at the top, seated
between George Shultz and Tom Selleck.

This year, I'll be watching the whole
thing here with you.

Afraid not.

Phyllis and I are going to the ball.

You can't. You've been a Democrat since
Roosevelt.

I don't want to go.

have to.

Bush wants to thank me for that thousand
points of light idea.

Hell, Murph, it was a joke. I didn't
think it'd get him elected.

Hey, Jim.

Great job on the inaugural parade.

Way to go, Jim.

Thanks. It was quite an experience.

But when that little baton twirler lost
control...

My whole life flashed in front of me.

I am so excited about the ball tonight.

This is going to be the most amazing
evening. You said it.

Stylish, elegant, grand.

I've been to eight, and I never get
tired of them.

Oh, uh, do you believe those bullets?
What a basketball game. Give me a little

credit. Nobody talks about the bullets.

It's okay, guys. I've been thinking, and
I realized something.

The press shouldn't go as guests.

We're supposed to be objective.

How can we do that if we let ourselves
get co -opted?

I'm proud I'm not going to that ball,
and if you consider yourselves true

journalists, you won't go either.

I was at the top and I didn't appreciate
it. That's why I'm being punished.

Learn from this, everyone.

Boy, this is so ironic.

You can't get a ticket and Murray, the
guy who owns the concession stand in the

lobby, is going.

Wait a minute.

Murray is going?

Murray Brown?

Yeah. He was just closing up to go home
and get ready.

Am I the only one here who notices
something strange about this?

Murray Brown?

Murphy Brown?

You know all that humble stuff I said
before?

Flesh it.

Somebody get me Murray's phone number,
his home address, and the cab driver

a lead foot.

I'm back. Ha!

Hi,

Murray. Oh, Miss Brown, please, come in.
Thank you. I was so surprised when you

called.

All these years, seeing you in the
lobby, and suddenly you wanted to come

and visit.

And for the life of me, I couldn't
imagine why.

And then Lillian, she figured it out.

She did?

And you're not upset?

Upset? I'm thrilled.

Not only are we going to the inaugural
ball, but Murphy Brown wants to

us. Ah, listen, I don't... Lillian,
Lillian, come meet Murphy Brown.

something in case our guest was hungry.

Oh, Miss Brown, what a pleasure.

I never missed you on the TV.

Oh, thank you, but really, you shouldn't
have gone to all this trouble.

I just came here to... Don't be silly.

I would offer you some sherry, but I ran
about your problem.

Lillian, please.

Mary, it's the 80s. We can talk about
these things.

As you were saying, Miss Brown?

Right. Now, when you got your ticket,
and I assume it came to you at the

office... Absolutely.

January 2nd at 10 a .m. I'll never
forget it.

Didn't you think it was a little odd
that you'd been invited?

Odd? They practically had to pick me up
off the floor.

We only met the man once. You met
President Bush? At Dulles Airport.

We were saying goodbye to one of our
grandchildren.

Nancy, she's a junior at Brandeis,
majoring in communications.

Oh, maybe she can meet you. And next
summer, if there happens to be an

opening... Lillian, Lillian, who's
telling this?

Anyway, he was coming home from a
campaign tour, and we were trying to get

of the terminal.

And the next thing I know, he's shaking
my hand.

Who would have thought he remembered us?

Right. Right.

He meets you for only a minute at a very
crowded airport.

And then you, Murray Brown, get an
invitation to the ball, an event that

the rich and powerful and television
personalities like myself, Murphy Brown,

usually attend.

What a country this is, that we could be
invited to the inaugural ball.

Nothing like this has ever happened to
us in our lives.

You know,

For 20 years I worked in that building
with all those important people.

And I was just the guy who sold the
newspapers.

And now look at me.

I'm taking my wife to the inaugural
ball.

I'm so proud. Look at him.

Isn't he handsome?

Oh, stop it.

Oh, I'm sorry. We've been doing all the
talking.

What did you want to say to us?

I just wanted to say that I didn't come
here to interview you.

I came here to congratulate you.

You're a very lovely couple, and you
really deserve to be going tonight.

Also, a word of advice.

If you have a choice, take the beef.

The chicken tends to be a little dry.

Hurry up. You're going to miss the whole
ball.

It is a crime for one man to look this
good.

I haven't worn anything since my cousin
Stanley's wedding. Now, the bride was

checking me out so hard, the priest had
to repeat the question. And even then,

she had to think about it.

Come on, the ball's already started.

Allow me.

Chicken a la king or linguine with clam
sauce?

Ooh, a dilemma.

me. You know, sometimes that chicken is
still frozen in the middle.

Oh, here we go.

Yep, all the usual suspect.

Oh, nice job on the makeup.

Mm, what you use, a spray gun?

Check this one out.

Could your dress be any tighter? You
look like a knockwurst.

You eat with that mouth?

I can't believe I wanted to go to this.
What was I thinking?

I got a better idea.

Come on, I'll get you a Coke.

Why? Why?

Because we look too good for this.

I know a joint that's got the best chili
dogs in town and a jukebox that still

takes nickels. All right.

Sounds like my kind of evening.

Great. Boom. Let's try it.

Great. And then after we eat, we can
drive by the ball. How will you grow up?

Come on.

We can yell out the windows. I'll lie
down in the back seat. They'll never

who it was.

You listen to yourself.

Will you listen to yourself? You should
be embarrassed.

Okay, you're right. It's no way for a
grown woman to behave.

Hey, Elman.

Have you ever mooned anyone?