All language subtitles for Murphy Brown s01e05 Murphys Pony

you

Who parked their car in my space?

Well,

I guess it doesn't matter that I had to
park three blocks away and trudge

through a blizzard to get to my lowly
little job reporting world events to the

United States of America.

I guess it doesn't matter that I gave up
the best years of my life working hard

so that I could have a parking space by
the front door.

So that the owner of an 82 red Honda...

Bank license plate number 40928 could
have the comfort of warm, dry shoes at

expense.

Be forewarned, you are no longer safe in
this town.

Frank! Got your film from Beirut. Great
job. Way to go.

Don't talk to me, Miles.

Pretty brutal there, huh?

Piece of cake compared to Dulles Airport
at Christmas.

Some old lady body -checked me into the
luggage carousel.

Claimed I was stealing her bag. Like, I
really want a Paisley tote with I'm

Billy's Grandma embroidered on the side.

Morning, men.

Hope the coffee's hot. It's damn cold
out there.

Last minute Christmas shopping, agent. I
had a few people left on my list.

I got rather broke on Jennings the same
thing.

I went crazy this year.

Got the four -speed model with the wall
mount.

Good choice.

This one's for coffee.

for you, and this is where I find you
hanging around the water cooler talking

about women. We were not talking about
women.

No one is doing anything about the
Christmas party this year. Not one

plan has been made.

So I've decided to take charge.

Now some committees are still open.

I've got to go shovel the sidewalk.

Miles, I want you to head the
decorations committee.

Corky, I run this place.

Does it look like I have time to shop
for crepe paper?

And just where is your Christmas spirit,
Miles?

I'm not required to have any. I'm
Jewish.

Oh, you are not.

Miles, it's all set. I just talked to
the White House. I'm accompanying the

president on his trip to China. Oh,
right. I knew you could pull it off. But

think I should make a preliminary trip
on my own first. There's a few details

I'd like you to double check. I want to
know right up front when I'll be able to

meet with him.

When I'll be able to meet with the...
Can I help you? Are you Murphy Brown?

Really? Is this an old picture?

What do you want, an autograph? Then
will you go away? Fine.

Miles, do you have a pen?

Oh, what is it now? You're collecting
for something?

I'm telling you right now, I'm not going
to give you any money unless you've got

ID. It's little frauds like you that
hurt the kids who really... Oh, no.

Oh, come on.

This is a joke, right? First the parking
space, and now this.

Dear Miss Brown, these are my three
children, Joey, Michael, and Lily.

I love them very much, but I can no
longer afford to keep them.

I watch you on television, and you seem
like the kind of person who could give

my children the home they deserve.

This is the hardest thing I've ever had
to do.

Please understand, Murphy, I think this
is for real. No, no, it can't be.

Listen, kids, this is important. Where
is your mother? Where is she?

We don't know. She said you're a mother
now.

You don't understand. I can't be your
mother. I don't like kids. That's why I

don't have any.

Where do you live?

On Johnson Street.

That was before. On Franklin Street.

Well, that was the first house.

I can't remember the name.

It's a brown house.

Miles, I have to go to China. You're the
boss. You handle this.

Me? What do I know about kids?

Hey, kid.

No, don't do that.

Okay. Get in a group.

Okay. Okay.

We're on a roll.

Murphy,

we just can't turn our backs on this.

I'm sure we can find some solution if we
just put our heads together.

Hey!

Do not repeat.

Do not touch that rubber lobster. You
can't play with it. It's mine.

Why did these things happen to me?

Hey, I've got an idea.

Do you kids know who Connie Chung is?

Okay, okay, okay. I know what to do
here.

First, we call the police. They can
start tracking down the mother. Right.

Then we call social services. They'll
take care of the kids.

Yeah. This is what we pay our taxes for,
right? I'll tell them who I am. They'll

come here, take the kids. By lunchtime,
this will all be over.

No, don't put me on hold. I've been on
hold all day.

Hello? Oh, God. If I have to listen to
Victor Moan sing Silver Bells one more

time.

All right, now, here we go. Five -card
draw. Now, who remembers what you do if

you get dealt two kings and an eight?

Draw two to the pair and hold the eight
kicker. All right!

No, don't cut that. No, don't. Frank.

Uh, look, I'm Murphy Brown.

Brown. No, don't switch me to another
department. I've been switched five

Okay, look what Auntie Corky's got.

Ice cream!

Yay!

Bless you, Corky.

This must be particularly hard on you,
Murphy, having to watch them, knowing

that there's no one really special in
your life, and you're probably not

ovulating anymore.

All right, now.

What's this I hear about a bunch of
unruly tots tearing up my newsroom?

Hardly the kind of behavior that will
get you anywhere in the world.

Now, gather around at that desk, and
I'll tell you a story.

Now, what we got?

There.

All right.

Now.

It was the night before Christmas, and
all through the house, not a creature

stirring.

Look, it's almost five o 'clock. I have
to get some answers.

What do you mean tomorrow?

What am I going to do with these kids
tonight?

Oh, well, that's just great.

Frank, you've got to help me out. Whoa,
whoa. Look, Murph, I can't take them.

It's really a bad time for me. Why?

Well, I've been away from home for three
weeks. My cat's probably dead. Kids

shouldn't see that.

Come on, Murph. Listen to me. Things
could be a lot worse.

How?

They could have a dog.

All right. I see where I stand around
here.

I guess I'll just have to deal with this
alone.

I've gotten through worse. I'm an adult.

I've got the upper hand.

I mean, when you think about it, what is
all this whining on 30 -something?

Get it over!

Okay, kids, get your coats on. You're
coming home with me tonight.

This is really amazing.

I didn't know you had kids. They're not
mine, Eldon. They were left on my

doorstep. You're kidding.

Do we have to live here? This is ugly. I
hate it here.

I want to go home.

We want to go home. We want to go home.
I feel like June Cleaver on acid.

Come on, kids. Stop crying.

Murphy has a really big headache.

Come on. Stop it. I'll give you cash.
Tens and twenties. Boy, you're sad as

this. Hey, listen up. Hey, hey.

Hey. How would you all like to help?

Uncle Eldon, paint the house.

Yeah! Are you nuts? Come on, it's great
therapy. Grab a brush. Eldon, you are

looking at a crazy person. I sat in my
office today and watched a child bite

head off a smurf. There are sticky
little fingerprints all over everything

own. They threw up in my car, and to top
it all off, my house is still a

shambles. I can't take it, Eldon. I want
it finished. I want it finished by

tomorrow, or I will take this roller and
put it someplace that will hurt you. Is

that clear?

I think Mommy needs a nap.

I'm hungry.

Me too.

Me too. Well, you should have thought
about that before you threw up.

We want dinner.

What's for dinner?

What, in this house?

How about a might -all sandwich?

Listen, how would you all like to go to
a real fun restaurant?

Yeah! What restaurant, Eldon? What
restaurant? Don't worry about it. You're

going to love it. Okay, coach, back on.
Everybody. To other houses. House

painters go there. I don't want to go to
a house painter post. Will you relax?

Look, I'll drive. We'll take my truck.

It doesn't have any seats.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, everybody, grab a bucket.

Come on.

Hello. Welcome to the Washington Crab
House. I'm your waiter, Brad.

I know you. You're Murphy Brown.

Oh, this is exciting.

And good evening to you, Mr. Brown. He's
not Mr. Brown.

Oh. Well, you have very lovely children,
Ms. Brown.

They're not my children.

Anyway, here are your mallets.

And the specials are on the blackboard,
and I'll be back to take your order in

just a few minutes.

They're going, Eldon. Now they're armed.

I see jello on the salad bar.

I always have to run every place. How do
they do that?

You know, you could be just a little
more tolerant.

All you do is criticize. If you keep on
spoiling them, how am I supposed to

discipline them?

You are too controlling. They have to
let off a little steam once in a while.

Well, that's easy for you to say. You're
not the one stuck with them inside all

day. Just a second. Just a second.
Didn't I take you to a restaurant

Oh, nice place. It sounds like Santa's
workshop.

I work hard. You know, don't you think I
deserve a place with tablecloths?

Hey, can you control your kids over
there?

All right, quick. Enough. Stop it now.
Quick.

Isn't that Murphy Brown?

And then I thought we should have some
really elegant things.

Miniature crepes with shrimp fillings,
stuffed mushroom caps, and pettifords.

I don't make... I like that stuff.

What?

It's weenie food.

I do hamburgers, chili, onion rings.

If you want, I'll throw in the pork
rinds for free.

Great.

Miles, how are you doing on the
decoration?

Oh, great, Corky. I canceled this week's
broadcast so I'd have time to work on

my centerpieces.

The party is tonight, Miles.

I want this place transformed or
somebody doesn't get a grab bag.

I don't mean to embarrass you in front
of everyone, but I notice you're not

on any of the party committees. I'm not
going to the Christmas party.

What? Why?

The memory of last year's party is still
fresh in my mind. Perhaps you heard

about it. I drank all the punch and
faxed my chest to the West Coast.

I don't think I'm ready to risk it.

Okay,

everybody, pay attention. Today we've
got new rules.

You are not allowed to yell, scream,
fight, or cry. You must remain seated in

this room at all times. In short, don't
bother me or your brief careers as

children will be over, and I really mean
it.

Murphy? Joey, I've told you. I don't
know why Barney Rubble doesn't wear

I wasn't going to ask that.

I wanted to know, where are we going to
sleep tonight?

I don't know, but a nice lady from
social services is coming to pick you up

today, and she'll take care of it. It's
Christmas Eve. How will Santa know where

to find us?

Santa? Oh, great.

This is how it starts.

First Santa, then the tooth fairy, then
you grow up and invent the trickle -down

theory.

I'm going to do you a big favor and be
the first adult who's ever been honest

with you. You don't have to worry about
Santa, because there isn't.

Because he doesn't... Because I'll call
him and tell him where you'll be.

You know Santa Claus?

Yeah, we met in a bar in Morocco. Now be
quiet, I'm trying to concentrate.

Leslie, could you give this letter to
Santa?

Kind of important.

Could you check that I spelled
everything right?

Dear Santa, how are you?

Hope you don't have a cold anymore. Mom
told us that's why you couldn't...

Come to our house last year.

Don't worry, we understand.

If you're feeling better, could you find
our mother and tell her that we miss

her a lot?

You don't have to bring us anything, but
maybe could you give something to

Murphy for taking care of us?

A pony would be nice.

We think she really needs one.

Thank you, Joey, Michael, and Lily.

I'll make sure that he gets this.

You know, I always wanted a pony.

Hello, Murphy Brown? Yes.

Francine O'Donnell from Social Services.

I've come to pick up the children.

Oh, right.

Well, here they are.

All three of them.

You ready to go, guys?

I guess so.

Okay, let's get our coats on.

It takes them a while to get their coats
on.

And, um, I think you should know.

Joey walks in his sleep at night, so you
should keep your ears open.

And Michael sounds like he's getting a
cold.

And Lily would really like a pony for
Christmas.

Wouldn't we all?

Okay, children, come along with me.

You can't take them yet. I just
remembered something.

What?

Well, it's just that it's Christmas Eve.

If they go with you, how will Santa know
where to find them?

Excuse me?

See, they've been moving around a lot
lately, and Santa's memory isn't what it

used to be.

Just to be on the safe side, why don't
they stay with me?

You sure?

I'm sure.

Speaking professionally, I think you
made the right decision.

Okay, here's the plan.

First, we're going to make a call to
Santa.

I haven't really talked to him since he
forgot my pony last year, but this is no

time to hold grudges.

Then we're going to go shopping at that
big toy store on M Street. What do you

say? Do we have to wear the robe?

I can't believe you broke the
skateboard. We bought it 20 minutes ago.

Well, you try it in high heels.

I've never seen a tree this beautiful
before.

I figured I should get you something for
Christmas.

It was either this or a water pick.

Oh, and by the way, while you were out,
somebody stopped by.

And he's in the kitchen right now having
milk and cookies.

Gee, I wonder who that could be. I
wasn't expecting anybody.

through the chimney, but Santa has a bad
back.

You ever try to lift one of these
things?

Santa, how do you get to everybody's
house in one night?

Oh, it's easier than it used to be.

I got me a really souped -up sleigh,
brought in a couple of elves from Japan,

took the thing right into the 80s.

But did you find our mommy yet?

Oh, well, I'm working on it there.

But don't you give up hope.

I know she'll turn up real soon.

Well, I gotta be going now.

Traffic's gonna be murder over the
Atlantic.

You all have a merry Christmas now.

Thanks,

Bill. I owe you one.

A hundred bucks and we'll call it even.

Get on your PJs and then I'll tell you a
bedtime story. Can we hear the one

about Haldeman and Ehrlichman again?

If you're good.

Whoops, I guess Santa must have
forgotten something.

Miss Brown, I'm so sorry to barge in
like this.

pretty German.

Actually, it wasn't that much. Thank you
for being so nice.

I'll take them and go now. Now?

You and Mr. Brown must want to get on
with your holiday plans.

Oh, well, we really didn't have any big
plans.

Wait a minute. How are you going to take
care of them?

As long as we're together, we'll find a
way.

I'd like to help you out. No, please.

You've done too much already.

No, look, really, I do pretty well for
myself.

Uh, I have an expense account. I write a
lot of things off.

I don't really take Walter Cronkite to
dinner every week.

At least I'm telling you more than you
need to know.

Here.

This should tide you over for a while.
No, I can't take that.

Lady, take the check.

Believe me, she doesn't do this very
often.

I wish there was something I could do
for you.

There is.

Promise you'll call whenever you need
anything.

Okay, kid.

Let's go.

I'll send their new bedroom sets and the
VCRs and the ice rink to Lily.

I know Santa brought the pony for me,
but I think we could share it.

What do you say?

Oh, boy.

Goodbye.

Merry Christmas.

Well, so I guess my work here is done.

Yeah, I guess so.

It'll just take me a few minutes to get
my things together.

Yeah, I got a rent set that's all over
this place.

Although, Eldon, you know I've been
noticing that the walls on my bedroom

use a little work. A little work? Who
sold you that wallpaper, Robert Goulet?

Just tell me, how long is it going to
take?

A couple days, tops.

I can live with that.

Great. Okay.

I move my scaffold back into the
bedroom.

I got, um... Wait a minute.

It's Christmas Eve.

All of a sudden, I'm in the mood for a
good party.

I know where I can find one.

You want to go with me?

Yeah, okay.

But if I get lucky, you're taking a bus
home.

So, Corky, after all my hard work, I
haven't heard one compliment on the

decorations.

Miles, has anybody ever told you you're
a real schlamazel?

Hey, Murphy!

Hey,

I'd like to meet my friend, Ellen
Bernanke.

Okay, everybody, Murphy showed up and
she brought a friend. So let's all think

before we take that extra meatball.

This party up a little how about some
real music coming right up