All language subtitles for yes_dear_s06e05_barbecue

Hey, everybody.

Greg, I have something here that is
going to melt in your mouth. My friend

brought me something today that was so
good, I almost kissed him on the lips.

That's freaky.

A little too freaky.

Greg, prepare to taste the best barbecue
in the world.

And by prepare, he means take two Zantac
and a Beano.

I'm telling you, Greg, this barbecue is
so good, it'll make you want to slap

your mama.

Well, I've had barbecue from Corky's in
Memphis and Arthur Bryant's in Kansas

City, and I'll be the judge.

Oh, my gosh. Huh?

What did I tell you?

Huh? Yeah.

Oh, wow, that is good.

Jimmy, kiss Roy on the lips.

Please tell me you have some more of
this somewhere.

I do.

I'm not a doctor, but I think it's in my
large intestine.

Pigs.

Well, Kim's taking the kids to a
birthday party tonight.

I've got to have some more of that
barbecue. Where is this place?

It's down in the hood.

The hood?

Which hood?

Oh, there's only one hood.

Does this place happen to deliver?

Nope.

Maybe I'll just order a pizza.

What? You're afraid to go down to the
hood. That is crazy.

Have you ever been there? Well, of
course I have. When?

I spent some time in the hood on my way
to a Laker game once.

Really? How long did you stay?

A while, until I could... find my way
back to the freeway, you can hardly see

the signs.

Especially with all the panicky sweat
dripping in your eyes.

What are you implying, Jimmy?

Well, nothing, Greg. You know, it just
sounds like you might be a little

around people who are a little less
white than you.

That is ridiculous. Some of my best
friends are black.

Like who?

If I'm one of your best friends, you got
bigger problems than being uptight.

All right, well, you guys have fun at
the birthday party tonight.

What are you doing for dinner?

I'm going down to that barbecue place,
you know, the one that Roy and Jimmy got

the brisket from.

Goodbye, honey. Daddy loves you.

Now, Sam, remember, when Daddy's not
here, you're the man of the house.

Greg, is there something wrong? No, no,
nothing's wrong.

Nothing's wrong.

I know this might be a bit of a non
sequitur, but my life insurance is paid

and I left the policy number on the
counter.

You guys have fun at the party.

Welcome to Earl's.

May I help you?

Yes. Hi. Oh, United Negro College Fund.

Always a favorite charity of mine.

Do you want to order something?

Yes.

What?

Well, whatever you recommend. I'm
comfortable with that. Very, very, very

comfortable with that.

Number two with the brisket. And do you
have Pellegrino?

And a lemon -lime soda.

Same things. Clear.

Got bubbles.

All right, you're number 11.

Have a seat. When it's ready, somebody
will bring it to you.

Awesome.

Hey.

First time?

Yeah.

I knew it.

I knew it when you donated money to the
collection jar for the United Negro

College Fund.

Oh, you white people do that the first
time.

Oh, my God, I can't believe that I am so
full.

Yeah, those beef ribs are pretty good,
aren't they? Pretty good. You can pick

the meat from in between my teeth and I
would still win first place in a

contest.

Yeah, you ain't said nothing, Craig.

Oh, man, the man's name is Greg,
Charlie.

I know what the man's name is, David.

You're like my brother from another
mother. Like my homie that know me.

Charlie, I feel the exact same way.

Craig, let me ask you a question.

What is the deal with white people and
Elvis?

What do you mean? Elvis was the king of
rock and roll.

Come on, Craig. I mean, everyone knows
Elvis was a fraud.

He took rhythm and blues, sang it like a
black guy, and white people, you, gave

him the title king of rock and roll.

Well, I...

Never looked at it like that. Yeah, I'm
telling you, Craig, it's the system.

I mean, look at these guys like Eric
Clapton, Rolling Stone.

I mean, they were heavily inspired by
guys like Howlin' Wolf and Muddy Waters.

And yet, the white guys made all the
money.

You know what?

It is the system.

So what's up, Greg?

You know, you down to hear some of this
stuff? You know, some of this stuff that

Elvis stole from us, you know what I
mean?

Are you with it?

Let me check this out. This is a place
down in the hood called Babe and

Oh, my goodness. They got a house band
up in there that sounds just like Muddy

Waters. So what do you say?

You're dying to creep on down to the
hood, Craig.

I thought we were in the hood.

Hell no, man. It's Baldwin Hills.

It's like the valley for black people.

So you want to roll?

Yeah, man. You can come hang out with us
for an hour or so.

For sure, sir. Too soon?

Yeah, it'll always be too soon for me.

Kim said Greg left like two hours ago.
I'm starting to get worried.

No need.

I'm sure if he called his order in ahead
of time, pulled up to the place, left

the car running, ran in, ran out, he's
fine.

Be honest, Roy. Is this barbecue place
in a really bad neighborhood?

I don't know.

What do you mean you don't know?

Well, I've never actually been there. So
where did you get that barbecue from? I

got it from the studio.

Those were the leftovers from the cast
and crew meal at Girlfriend's.

That's great, Roy. I just hope Greg's
all right now.

Well, he'll be fine.

What, do you think people are going to
do, carjack him and throw him in a

someplace?

Maybe we should call the police.

Who's going to call the police?

Uh, no, no.

Nobody's going to call the police.

Wow, this is like walking in on Dominic
and Logan, except it's less likely you

two are going to come up with a clever
excuse.

Look, Roy and I came down kind of hard
on Greg earlier in the day because he

afraid to go down in the hood and get
that barbecue we all loved.

And? He went down there to prove us
wrong, and he's just been gone a long

Well, I'm sure you're overreacting. What
did he say when you called his cell

phone?

You didn't call a cell phone?

Pardon me if I don't stick around to
watch the thrilling conclusion of C .S.

a Moron.

What up?

Craig, it's Jimmy. Speak up, I can
hardly hear you. Where are you?

The hood.

Are you okay?

Of course I'm okay.

Good. I'm just glad to hear you're okay.

Well, why wouldn't I be okay?

Well, I don't know. I mean, it's the
hood, right?

Well, what is that supposed to mean?

Look, I was just a little worried,
that's all.

Oh, Jimmy, you're starting to sound a
little light and uptight.

I am not.

Oh, really? You accuse me of being
afraid of this neighborhood, but now

afraid of this neighborhood.

That's not true.

Well, then why are you worried about me?
I wasn't worried about you. I'm worried

about you bringing that barbecue home.

Admit it, Jimmy. You're the uptight one
now.

No, I'm the hungry one now.

Well, I should be home in about an hour.

I hope.

What is that supposed to mean? I don't
know. It's just something doesn't seem

right, Jimmy.

What is it, Greg?

What's that all about?

You guys want to stick it to the man?

Let's start with a man named Jimmy.

Good idea having us wear our uniforms.

Yeah.

People respect the bats.

Hey, you know, maybe when Greg said, oh,
my God, he meant it in a good way. You

know, like something exciting just
happened.

He said, oh, my God.

You know, maybe somebody famous walked
in while you guys were talking on the

phone. You know, famous people love
barbecue.

That's what you'd say if, like, a
celebrity came in, right? You'd be like,

my God.

I wonder who it was.

It could have been Snoop Dogg.

Or Halle Berry. Oh, I'd like to meet
Halle Berry.

Yeah, that'd be something we'd never
forget, huh?

Does Greg know any self -defense?

Let's just say his best move is soiling
himself.

Then he's got a fighting chance.

I don't see Greg anywhere.

I don't see Halle Berry either.

That guy in the corner looks like
Ghostface Killer from the Wu -Tang Clan.

Can I help you?

Hi, yes.

You hope so?

I did Negro College Fund.

It's always a favorite charity of mine.

Anyway, we're looking for a missing
person.

He's about a male.

5 '9", edgy, nervous demeanor. You mean
the white guy?

That'd be him.

His name is Greg.

Do you happen to know where he went?

Yeah, I know where he is.

Oh, really? Well, if you just let us
know, we'll be on our way.

I don't think you guys want to go
anywhere.

down to the hood.

Isn't this the hood?

Hell no, this is Baldwin Hills.

Excuse me just one second.

I thought you said this was the hood. I
thought it was.

You thought?

Well, how would I know? I grew up in
Santa Barbara.

exactly he went to?

Oh, there's only one hood.

You go south on La Brea, east on
Jefferson, south on Crenshaw,

when you get to Martin Luther King
Boulevard, you in the hood.

Okay, and these two men that he left
with, can you give me a description of

them? Were they tall? Were they short?

Stocky? They were black guys.

down there called uh babe and ricky's
babe and ricky's okay that shouldn't be

too hard to find now when you go down
there for your own safety tell them

sent you thank you very much julius oh
i'm not julius that's just some good

advice that somebody gave me once i've
always been too scared to go down there

So scary, is it?

Hey, buddy.

Got a light?

No.

Hey,

man, don't I know you?

Me?

I don't think so.

Weren't you just out here a little while
ago?

No, that was not me.

First time I ever been in this
neighborhood.

Must have been somebody else then.

Hey, man, I'm sorry. You know, you guys,
you all look the same to me, right?

Oh!

Oh. Yeah, yeah.

One big blur.

Like being in a snowstorm.

Two white guys on the same day. Man,
there must be an election coming up or

something. You know what I mean?

I feel you, brother.

Uh, excuse me. This other white guy that
you saw earlier, was he alone?

No, matter of fact, he was with a couple
of dangerous -looking cats. They went

to this blues club over here, across the
street.

Hey, but do me a favor, will you, man?
Just don't tell him you heard it from

And, oh, when you get over there, just
tell him Julius sent you. So there

is a Julius?

I bet your ass there's a Julius.

He's watching you right now.

I don't want to hear it. Do not turn
your heads.

Are you ready?

Yeah, I'm ready.

I'm ready to lose control of my bodily
function.

Let's just call the police and tell them
what, that we screwed up.

Give them the entire reason Greg is in
there is because we goaded him into it,

even though we're as afraid of this
neighborhood as he is.

Now, look, he was brave enough to face
his peers, and we're going to have to

face ours, too.

Now, let's go.

Don't move your head. Do not move your
head.

Excuse me.

Uh, yeah.

What can I help you, gentlemen? Uh,
yeah, we just came in here to, uh, hear

little blues, but, uh, you know, now
that you mention it, uh, I'm wondering

you might have seen my brother -in -law.
We were supposed to meet him here, and,

uh... Are you talking about that skinny
little white guy?

Uh, yeah, and he might have had a stain
run around here.

What was that guy's name again?

Greg Warner.

Is that your brother -in -law?

Yeah.

I haven't seen him.

Excuse me.

Uh, yeah.

Julius sent us.

Oh, you know Julius, huh? Yeah, yeah,
we, uh, we know Julius.

Okay.

Well, you go and tell Julius that this
is our club now.

And if he ever comes around here
again... He better have his affairs in

okay?

All right, yeah.

I think we have enough evidence to call
the police.

Well, what'd you say?

I said... I think Sting's musical
talents

weren't as evident when he was with
the...

That's it, okay? I know you know where
my brother -in -law is, and I demand

we see him.

You demand?

I request.

Very respectfully.

You know what? You are absolutely right.
I do know where your brother -in -law

is, and I'll let you see him. Thank you.
If you can answer this question.

Okay. You have two trains, and they
start at the same point, traveling in

opposite directions.

One going 50 miles per hour, and the
other one going 60 miles per hour.

Now, in 90 minutes, how far apart are
these trains going to be?

What?

I said you have two trains. No, I heard
the question. It's like, what kind of

question is that?

It's a basic algebra question, dummy.

I mean, what, you think because I'm a
brother I can't ask an intellectual

question or something?

I mean, did you think I was going to ask
you who sang Love Rollercoaster?

The Ohio Players.

What are you, a racist or something? No,
I'm just horrible at math.

Let's try some physics then, okay?

I drop a feather and an anvil off the
Empire State Building. You know what?

worse at physics than I am at math.

Okay, then you better hurry up and
figure out how far apart those trees are

then.

I can't. It's really, it's never gone. I
won't be able to figure it out.

Look, I just think that my brother -in
-law is in a lot of trouble because of

me, and I really need to see him.

165 miles, dummy!

Well, you deserved it for being
hypocrites. You went off on me because I

afraid to come down here when you felt
the exact same way yourself.

All right, you made your point. Are you
happy?

Yes, I am, because I stared my fear down
and overcame it.

You basically just did the same thing.

You've got to admit, you're a better
person for it.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

There really is nothing to be afraid of.

I'm glad you feel that way.

Now, can you go get my wallet from that
big guy?