All language subtitles for yes_dear_s05e09_senior_olympics

Well, the paint in the kitchen is almost
ready for a second coat. This stinks.

When Justin's family redid their
kitchen, they hired workers to do it for

Yeah, your dad was one of those workers.
Why do you think we got the paint?

Besides, Dominic, now every time you go
get cereal, you will proudly open the

door that you and Logan made with your
father. And it will be attached to a

cabinet made by my father.

That looks like you made the doors too
small. It's not the doors, it's the

cabinet. We're going to have to start
all over.

Here's something you'll never see on
this old house.

Yeah, that's because they weren't stuck
with this old man.

Oh, Jimmy, this isn't even level. I
mean, did you use a tape measure at all?

Tape measure? I don't need a tape
measure.

Did Noah use a tape measure when he
built the ark?

I mean, I got my own tape measure right
here. I got two of these on the left and

two of these on the right.

Oh, my God, my arms are different sizes.

How's it going in here? Great.

I didn't know you were going to be in
town, Big Jimmy.

I just came in to help out.

My dad's flying out tonight.

Get this, he's coming out to compete in
fencing in the California Senior

Olympics. There's actually a Senior
Olympics?

Yeah. You have to be 50 or over to
enter, but other than that, it's just

the real Olympics.

Except your lab uses steroids if your
kidney function depends on it.

I think we've got another problem in
here, Jimmy, and my feet are different

sizes, too.

I think I'm going to have to order more
tile for the floor.

All right, now you ready? Let's do it.

Ow!

Ow! Ow!

Time out, that hurts. I mean, you'd
think there'd be some kind of guard you

could wear. Oh, there is, yeah. But I
only had one.

Ow! Ow!

Hey guys, how's it going out here? Oh,
great, great.

Says the man with the chest protector.

Hey, I think I'm gonna hit the bathroom.

I don't have to go right now, but it
takes a while to get all this protective

gear off.

Yeah, I had four cups of coffee on the
plane, and I don't want to end up

frantically messing with this crotch
buckle.

Greg, listen, I'm trying to help Emily
with a splinter, and Sammy really needs

bath. Can you do it for me? I can't
right now, Kim. I'm busy sparring with

dad. He needs to practice against some
real competition.

And you're supposed to help him with
that?

Please, it took you an hour to break
open the pinata at Emily's last birthday

party.

You know I had a sprained wrist.

Yeah, from cutting the cake.

The cake was frozen. I had a dull night.

Hey, man. How's it going?

Not so good. My wife's mad at me, and I
think my father just inverted one of my

nipples.

It's not much better at my house. My dad
thinks he's helping, but he keeps

messing things up over there. Not as
handy as he said he was, huh? He

a nail yesterday.

How does that happen? He said, hey,
Jimmy, look at this. I'm going to

nail.

Hey, Jimmy, I've cut the shelves up, and
it looks like they're a little crooked.

Do my eyes look level to you?

Hey, Tom, how's it going? Jimmy, how are
you? Good to see you. Gosh.

Hi, Big Jimmy. Hey, Tom.

So, I guess you came all the way out
here to enter the Geyser Olympics, huh?

Yeah, I had to use Greg's address out
here, so it looked like Austin,

California. They don't have fencing
competition back there in Virginia.

See, all the guys over 50 still hold a
sword up, busy doing a reenactment of

Civil War.

Oh, that sounds like fun.

That's what I thought when I volunteered
last year. I got killed in the first

five minutes, and I spent the next ten
hours face down in the snow.

Well, how's it work? You, like, stab the
other guy before he stabs you?

Yeah, that's, uh, that's kind of the
simple version of it. Yeah, uh, look,

you're holding it wrong, though, here.
You want to do this, just, you hold it

like that, see? Yeah, yeah.

Then you give it this.

Yeah, yeah.

That's just out.

Hey, Dad,

you're not so bad at this.

Really? Yeah, yeah, you look like a
natural. I mean, the way you move.

Thanks.

Hey, you know, if you're interested,
maybe you could spar with my dad.

Yeah, go ahead. Why don't you give it a
try?

Well, I don't know. He doesn't know what
he's doing, I guess.

Oh, huh?

Hey, why?

Wow. Hey, Dad, you know what? Why don't
you stay with prom? Why don't you guys

work out a little while?

I don't know. I was going to do some
rewiring in the kitchen so you'd have

extra outlets. I mean, whoever did that
kitchen the first place got a little

hung up on safety codes.

No, I'll tell you what, Dad. I'll just
take care of it myself.

You stay. You work out.

Hey, Dad, you don't mind if Big Jimmy
fills in for me for a while, do you?

No, no.

You know, it might be a good idea to get
some practice against the different

body types.

Although I can't imagine ever seeing one
like that again.

What are you doing? Now that Big Jimmy
is fencing with your dad, I thought

be free to help me out. I am helping you
out, Kim. I'm tracking the stock market

so I can more effectively manage our
retirement portfolio.

It's our financial future, Kim.

We'll have time to be distracted by
simple household chores.

Well, keep up the good work.

Just make sure there's plenty in there
for when I take half.

I can live on half.

Okay, break it on.

All right, here we go.

Ready?

Ha! Ha -ha.

Ha! What are you doing?

That's not... You don't understand the
rules.

When I attack, you defend.

In a real sword fight, if both guys
attack... They'd end up stabbing each

and they'd both end up dead.

Not me. I'm using my long arm.

Hey.

Hey.

How's it going in the kitchen back
there?

Oh, well, uh, the blades have stopped
flying off the ceiling fan, which Jimmy

installed.

Yeah, apparently there's no truth to my
dad's theory that the company puts extra

screws in the box just to mess with your
head.

How's it going over here? Pretty good.
Big Jimmy's been sparring with my dad

morning. Okay, here we go.

Ready?

That's my dad. Hard to believe it's the
same guy that's been regularly taken

advantage of by the neighbor's poodle.

Oh, yeah? Well, in my defense, it wasn't
some toy poodle.

It was one of those big, scary ones, you
know?

Looked like a greyhound with a wig.

Well, that poodle's lucky he's not here
today. That move, that was pretty

impressive. Well, it wasn't that great.
I mean, I could have blocked it, but I

felt a sneeze coming on, and it turned
out to be a dud, but, I mean, it kind of

threw me.

Yeah, well, I thought that move was
amazing.

My son said I was a natural, and I kind
of think he's right. You know, I just

started yesterday, and I think I'm doing
pretty good, too.

No, you're not.

You don't have any technique. You don't
follow the rules.

You don't even know the difference
between a pistol grip and a French grip.

Yeah, well, I just happen to know
there's certain establishments in Nevada

one will cost you $50 more than the
other.

You don't know what you're talking
about.

I can beat you any time. Okay, Dad, come
on. Don't be silly, okay? Tom is

clearly a better fencer than you are.

Well, I'll prove it to you, because I'm
going to enter the senior Olympus' own

self. What? Dad, come on, will you not?
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Look, if

your father wants to compete, let him
compete.

I mean, sure, he's in tense practice
regimen, but not allow him to help us

our kitchen. But that's just a sacrifice
we're going to have to make in order to

support his quest for the gold.

You're nuts, you know that?

You're going to enter a tournament with
no experience and no technique?

I'm not. I'll tell you, I entered the
army with nothing but peach fuzz on my

face, and I showed Charlie what for.
Dad, you were in Korea. Charlie was

Vietnam. No, Charlie had the bunk up
above me.

Snored all night until I broke his nose.

No, you don't know what you're doing, so
you came over here to steal my

technique.

Don't flatter yourself.

Yeah.

We'll see about that.

Aha, see?

I told you. I told you. Just get out of
here. Would you mind keeping it down?

I'm trying to read to Tammy.

Oh, okay, Kim. We're sorry.

you're not going to leave your left side
open like that in competition, are you?

They'll kill you. I mean, give me that.
Let me show you what they're doing

wrong. Will you get out of here? I'm
trying to practice. No, I'm serious,

I mean, I know I'm new at fencing, but
if you're doing something there, I think

I can help.

Well, let's see. Got your sword.

Got your sword.

You're going to have a lot of defense
unless I won't have this sword.

Stop it. I'm telling you. Cut it out. I
mean it.

Jimmy, you've got to come get your dad
out of our yard. Why? What's wrong?

He and Tom are arguing and bickering
like little kids. I would put them both

over my knee and spank them if I didn't
think Greg's dad would cry and your dad

would like it.

Dad, you've got to come home.

Why? Because you're bothering Kim and
you're bothering Tom. Just come back to

the house and relax.

I can't relax. I've got to get ready for
the Senior Olympics here.

Come on, Dad. You really don't think
you've got a chance to win, do you?

of course I do.

You said yourself I was a natural.

Yeah, Dad, listen.

The only reason I said that is so you
wouldn't help us with the kitchen

What? I'm sorry, but you kept messing
things up. Christine was losing her

patience. Well, I can't help it if you
and Christine or Dad in particular are

about the way kitchen looks.

I mean, every little thing has to be
just... Perfect. No, okay, Dad, you just

slap everything together willy -nilly
that there's no right angles. I mean, my

kitchen looks like it was built by Dr.
Seuss.

Maybe I'm not the best carpenter in the
world, but I can fence.

No, Dad, you can't fence. See, you do
this all the time. You shoot your mouth

off about how great you're going to be
at something, and then when it comes

to prove it, you make a big fool out of
yourself, okay? Just like you did with

fixing up the house. Yeah, well, this is
different. I mean, if you think I can't

beat a bunch of old codgers at fencing,
then you're crazy.

They like shooting cats in a barrel.

Yeah, Dad, it's shooting fish in a
barrel, not shooting cats in a barrel.

Clearly you were too young to remember
our trip to Uncle Jack's farm.

Then again, it's probably for the best.

This is really cool.

It's nice to know there's a place for
people to compete in athletics when they

get older.

When you think of it, it's a beautiful
thing.

Yeah, that's what I thought until I saw
the wrinkly old swim team warming up.

It looked like a pool and cocoon after
it lost its powers.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the
California Senior Olympics.

The fencing competition will begin in
two minutes.

Hear that, Tom? Two minutes. You better
get your shoes tied there. End the game,

Tom. End the game.

Well, son, you ready to watch your old
man carve up these old geezers like a

Thanksgiving turkey?

Dad, please don't do this, okay? You're
just going to embarrass yourself.

Yeah, I heard the first ten times you
said that. I got ears, you know.

One may be a quarter inch higher than
the other, but they both work.

Our first match is Michael Futrell from
San Diego versus Tom Warner from

West Los Angeles.

Ready? Fence!

Ha!

Some unfortunate news.

In the match of Hughes versus Swirling,
Mr.

Swirling has to withdraw because...

His gout has not responded to
medication.

Winner, Hughes.

Ready? Ten.

You've got to move.

But the moon.

In the match of Hughes versus

Propek, Mr. Propek has had to withdraw
because

he's fallen and he can't get out.

Tom Warner against James Hughes.

Both men to the fencing strip, please.

Come on, Dad. Go get him.

Fire up the campfire, son. Your old
man's about to put a wiener on a stick.

Ready?

Fence.

Foul on Hughes for running off the
strip.

You didn't tell me I couldn't do that.
Well, you can't.

call these ticky -tack rules all day
long? Come on, come on, come on. Give me

sword back. Let's go.

Foul on Hughes.

Unsportsmanlike conduct.

What? That's three fouls. Hughes is
disqualified.

Warner wins the match.

Ha -ha. See? I told you.

Rules, Big Jimmy. Ha -ha. This is
discipline sports.

This isn't like some knife fight in an
alley.

You want to win? You got to play by...
the rules. Well, rules is very important

to you. How come you lied about living
in California?

He don't even live there. He's
ineligible. He lives somewhere where

to Virginia.

Is that true?

Well, yes and no.

I'm bi -coastal. I have a house in
Virginia, but I also have a blockbuster

from just down the street.

I'm sorry.

You're disqualified.

Rules, Tom.

You gotta play by the rules.

What? I'm back. Hey, boss. We'll

be

right

back.

All right, Mr. Hughes.

Come back in a few days to get that
wound checked out. In the meantime, be

thinking about what color glass eye you
want.

What are you thinking?

Thinking I was right.

I'm thinking you're an idiot.

I'm thinking because you had to shoot
your big mouth off, you almost got

yourself killed.

No, I mean, what do you think about the
glass eye?

You know, I was thinking brown. I
already got a blue one. You know,

colors. Kind of like a husky or David
Bowie.

Dad, you know something? I really, I
have to know why.

Why do you always have to pretend you're
great at something you're not?

Maybe, just maybe one day I'd like to do
something to make you proud of me.

What are you talking about?

You don't think your father's good at
anything, unlike Greg, who can't stop

bragging about his father's fencing, or
your kids who think you're the greatest

thing in the world.

I mean, just for once in my life, I'd
like to do something to make you proud

me. I don't know how much time I have
left.

Dad, I don't know what to say.

It's a big man to admit those kind of
feelings. I'm impressed.

Will you say you're proud of me?

Sure, I'm proud.

I'll take it.

Hey, guys. Hey, Big Jimmy. How you
doing?

I'm fine, thanks.

Tom, I'm sorry I poked your eye out.

I'm sorry I poked your eye out.

On the bright side, next year, maybe we
can enter the Senior Special Olympics.

Friends?

Huh? Oh, yeah.

Hey, Dad, where are you going?

I'm going back down to the Senior
Olympics. Today they're doing Greco

wrestling. I think I got a chance to
medal.

Some unfortunate news.

In the wrestling match of Hughes versus
Mariano, Mr.

Mariano has to withdraw due to a

misjudgment with his stool softener
prescription.

unfortunate news.

In the match of Hughes versus Kleckner,
Mr.

Kleckner had to withdraw because his
Levitra worked.

Winner, Hughes.

Some unfortunate news.

In the match of Hughes versus

Robertson.

Mr. Robertson has to withdraw because...

Well, let's just have a moment of
silence

for Mr.

Robertson.