All language subtitles for yes_dear_s03e21_jimmys_dumb

Hey, how was the Cooper's yard sale?

Great. I picked up something for Kim.

Oh, my God, Jimmy, you didn't. Yeah, I
know you've been looking for a new lamp

for next to the couch to replace the old
lamp.

That is the old one.

Greg's mother gave that ugly thing to
us, and I've always hated it.

I sold it to the Rivera's down the
street at our yard sale, and then I saw

Cooper's buying it at the Rivera's yard
sale.

Well, I guess it's found its way home.

Ah, the mystical circle of crap.

Where's Greg? I thought he went with
you.

Last time I saw him, he was busy
haggling over some stuff.

How do I look?

Like you just won the worst showcase in
the history of The Price is Right.

My monkey.

Okay, and then you take that electrode
and you put it in that potato.

Hey, check it out. It lit up.

Wow. Pretty cool, huh?

What are you guys doing? I'm not sure,
but I think I'm playing God.

Check it out, Greg. Light from a
vegetable.

I haven't seen you this excited about
potatoes since you found out au gratin

means with cheese.

Dad, how does it work?

What? How does it work?

Uh, oh, well, you know what you do? You
take the black rod, the red rod, and you

stick them in a potato each, and then,
you know, bulb lights up.

Yeah, but why?

Well, uh, you know, it's just, uh...

Magic potatoes.

And, of course, the transfer of
electrons.

Uh, exactly.

Yeah, the, uh, transfer of electrons.

What are electrons?

Well, they're the stuff that make this
bulb light up. See? I'll show you.

Electron.

Electroph.

Electrons are little charged particles
that are in everything.

A potato is something called a
conductor.

Yes, but not the kind of conductor that
drives a train.

Right? Right.

When you put the zinc electrode and the
copper electrode into the potato, it

helps the electrons move within the
wires, creating an electrical current,

then, you know, lights up the bulb.

Cool. Thanks, Greg.

I'm going to go tell Mom.

Good.

Hey, thanks for bailing me out there.
You know, it's been a long time since I

learned this stuff. Well, no problem. I
just hope I was thorough enough. I was

going to draw him a graph, but Kim
always says I draw too many graphs,

just confuses people.

Which I was going to disprove by drawing
her a pie chart showing her how often I

did draw graphs.

In retrospect, I guess that's not the
best angle.

You know, I wish I could answer you,
Greg. Unfortunately, I just heard a

lot of blabbity -blah surrounding the
word pie.

You have to stop.

Kim, you won't let me play the bangles
in the house. You won't let me play them

in the car.

But for God's sake, this is an iPod, not
a WePod.

I meant the mowing. When are you going
to be done? You've been back here for

last hour.

Not just mowing. This thing makes all
sorts of patterns depending on which

direction you're going or how you adjust
the blade.

She's trying to make it beautiful for
our family.

Well, it looks great. Get off the grass.
Get off the grass.

Christine, can I ask you a question?

Yeah.

Do you know how electricity works?

Yeah, when electrons move, it creates a
current. Damn it, how does everybody

know that?

What's wrong?

Well, I was helping Dominic with the
science project, and he asked me a bunch

questions I don't know the answers to.

I'm afraid he thinks I'm stupid.

Jimmy, nobody thinks you're stupid. No,
look, no, no, I know I'm not stupid. I'm

just afraid that Dominic's going to
think that I am.

It's like he's only in the second grade.
I already got trouble helping him with

the schoolwork. Maybe you should have
paid more attention in school.

Yeah, well, if I remember our science
class, the only thing you were

in weighing and measuring were my boobs.

Jimmy, if you feel so bad about this,
it's never too late to learn this stuff.

How much did they weigh? Eight pounds.

Jimmy, Greg's right. I mean, just
because you didn't apply yourself when

were a teenager doesn't mean you can't
start applying yourself now. Yeah. You

know what? Maybe I will. I don't know.

Jimmy.

She really seems upset about this.

She... When you learn all this stuff,
you never realize you have to remember

everything so that one day you can be
there to help your kid.

Makes you think, huh?

Eight pounds. What were you, a dog?

I'm Jimmy Hughes. I'm Dominic's father.
He's in your second grade class.

You might remember my wife and I helped
chaperone last semester's field trip.

Oh, right.

Wait. Were you the ones who made out in
the back row of the planetarium and

giggled every time someone said Uranus?

Uranus.

No, that wasn't us.

How can I help you? Well, you know what?
I'm having some trouble.

helping Dominic with science, and I was
just wondering if I could borrow a book,

you know, brush up a little. Oh, of
course.

Take one of our textbooks.

There's quizzes at the end of each
chapter. Oh, thank you so much. This is

really, it's going to help a lot, you
know.

I never really paid attention in school.
I was lazy, you know what I mean? I

always tried to take the easy way out.

Now, do you have a teacher's edition
with all the answers in the back?

Mr. Hughes, give a man a fish, he'll eat
for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll

eat for a lifetime.

So you don't have a book with all the
answers in it?

Mr. Hughes, do you want to help your son
or not? No, I do, I do. It's just, you

know, reading makes me tired.

I once dozed off during a fortune
cookie.

Of course, I've just eaten about 17 egg
rolls.

Look, if you really want to learn this
stuff, why don't you come by after

school? I'd be more than happy to help
you brush up on your science.

Oh, really? Well, thanks, but I work in
the afternoons.

I do have a lunch hour at 1 o 'clock.
Fine. Bring your lunch here. You can get

lot done in an hour. Great. Well, then I
will see you tomorrow.

Really, I'm looking forward to learn a
little bit more about Mother Earth.

Actually, you're touching Uranus.

Greg, the yard looks great.

Oh, please, Mrs. Tompkins. I don't mow
for money. I do it for love.

Okay, but my husband will be home in a
half hour, so let's make it fast.

Oh, I'm sorry. Your class isn't over
yet. No, class just started. Take a

What? Take a seat.

Everyone, this is Mr. Hughes. He's going
to sit in on our class.

What do we say to new students?

Welcome, Mr. Hughes.

What's up?

I thought when you said lunch hour, it
would be your lunch hour, too.

Mr. Hughes, my lunch hour is only 45
minutes.

If it takes me five minutes to walk each
way to the cafeteria, seven minutes in

line to get my food, and I take 25
minutes to eat my lunch, how long does

leave me to teach you?

Yeah, my math isn't much better than my
science.

Just have a seat.

Okay. This is my sixth grade science
class.

We're in the middle of our biology unit.
All right.

You know the answer was four minutes,
didn't you? Of course I did. I'm not an

idiot. It was three.

Yesterday we covered fertilization
and... Yes, Jack? I can't see.

Mr. Hugh's head is too big.

Maybe you two could switch.

Today, we're going to continue with the
video we started yesterday.

Yes, Chad. How come Mr. Hughes gets to
eat in class when no one else does?

How come Chad doesn't mind his own
beeswax?

Chad, we're going to make a special
exception for Mr.

Hughes.

Okay, then. We left off talking about
the birthing process.

with the arrival of this new baby calf.

Hey. Wow, that's a lot of books.

Whatever you're about to do, I'm begging
you, use your own bathroom.

I'm taking a science class.

I want to be able to help out Dominic so
he doesn't think I'm stupid.

Good for you. That's kind of neat, huh?
Both you and Christine going back to

college?

Yeah, something like that.

What do you got there?

Fun was static. Jimmy, you're not going
back to college. You're going back to

elementary school.

I'm in the sixth grade, and a lot of
places, that's middle school.

I think it shows a lot of courage to
take sixth grade a second time.

I should get a medal, because it's my
third.

I thought I'd come and study with you.

Oh, really? Like we used to in high
school?

No. Does this look like a baseball
dugout to you?

So what are you studying?

The sociological strata in pre
-Columbian Aztec civilization.

How about you?

Our friend the carrot.

Okay, class, before we begin the quiz,
are there any final questions?

Mr. Hughes.

Yeah, can you explain again that thing
about why a rock sinks but a piece of

wood the same weight floats?

Sure. The buoyancy of a substance is
determined by its what?

Its volume.

Dude, I'm serious this time. Its volume.

Volume? No.

Chat?

Density. Very good.

Any other questions?

Mr. Hughes?

Well, yeah, the thing about the rock and
the wood again is, like, I can

understand if they're the same size.

But, like, a little pebble like this
big, that's going to sink. But a log

that's, like, a thousand times heavier,
that's going to float? Right, but see,

you're still thinking in terms of mass
instead of density.

Even though the mass changes...

The density remained the same.

Anything else?

Mr. Hughes.

Yeah, um, what?

Thank you so much. You did such a

lovely job. I did, didn't I?

Check it out. I call it the Japanese
rising sun.

It's beautiful.

Domo arigato.

How do you do that?

Oh, no, no. No trade secrets. I'll see
you next week for something I like to

call the cinnamon roll.

Bye.

How are you? I'm ready.

Another long, hard day of mowing under
my belt.

If I wasn't so hopped up on
antihistamines for my hay fever, I'd say

time.

Quick, wipe your feet.

What? They're clean.

Clean? Christine didn't bring as much
grass into the house when she was in

school.

Hey, honey. How was school?

I failed.

I failed a sixth grade science quiz.

and one else floated like a log and I
sank like a pebble.

Maybe you were nervous.

It's been a long time since you've taken
a test.

I'm sure you'll do better next time. I
can't do better.

You saw how hard I studied. I still
failed.

Dominic should think I'm stupid because
I am stupid.

You're not stupid.

There has to be another explanation for
all this.

You do spend a lot of time with your
face pressed up against the microwave.

have a learning disability, you know,
like attention deficit disorder.

Oh, please, ADD, or as my father used to
call it, ants in your pants.

Jimmy, these are real problems people
have.

Yeah, and they didn't check for things
like that when we were kids. I mean, you

might have something and not even know
it.

You think?

It's nothing to be ashamed of.

Everybody's born with things they
struggle with. Greg's colorblind.

It's true. Up to the age of seven, I
couldn't figure out why I had a box of

gray crayons.

craziest thing, but I've never been able
to say the word aluminum.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. I have to go call my mom.

Jimmy, I think you should get tested.

Yeah, you know what? Maybe I will.

Yeah, I mean, wouldn't it be great to
know that there's a reason why school's

always been so hard for you?

Yeah, it would explain a lot. Like how
you could never remember plays on the

football team, or how you always write
down phone numbers wrong, or how you

always get lost in Costco?

I wasn't lost.

I was just circling until that woman
finished cooking those mini quiches.

Hello, Mom?

Listen to this.

All those ink blots.

Every one of those pictures is so
obviously a vagina.

Mr. Hughes?

Yeah. I've got your results.

Ah, great. Is it ADD? No.

ADHD? No.

Dyslexia? No.

Anth in my pants?

No, all of your test scores fall well
within the normal parameters.

You're kidding me.

No, there's nothing wrong with you at
all. Congratulations.

I can't believe it. The first test I
ever aced is the one that proves I'm an

idiot.

Daddy, can you help me with my homework?

I doubt it. What?

You know what, Dominic, why don't you go
ask Uncle Greg if he can help you. Why

can't you help me?

Well, because today we found out that
your dad is...

I promised Uncle Greg I was going to fix
his lawnmower.

What's wrong with it?

Well, he shorted out the engine. He got
a little dizzy doing the cinnamon roll.

And he drove it straight into a koi
pond.

You know how to fix that?

Yeah, it's no big deal.

What's that?

That right there is the distributor cap.
I had to replace that. And then I got

to rerun the wires from there to the
spark plugs.

Then I had to spike the ignition wire.
That's all torn up.

I have to reconnect the fuel line from
there.

What's that orange piece?

That is a piece of brave fish who died
defending his pond.

How do you know how to do all that?

I don't know. Just fixing things always
came easy to me.

Can Uncle Greg do it?

No, Uncle Greg is not a fixing stuff
kind of guy, you know? Don't you

he had to jump his car battery and he
was declared legally dead for three

minutes?

Wow, you must be really smart.

You think so?

Yeah, can you teach me how to fix stuff?

Of course I can. Here, grab a wrench.

Let me show you how to change a spark
plug.

Thank God somebody's home.

Listen to this.

Alunumum.

Hey.

You the guy that's been mowing
everyone's lawn?

Yeah. Been mowing them all except the
one with the koi pond.

There's some litigation pending there.

Listen, mister, maybe you weren't aware,
but this is our block. We mow the lawns

around here.

Yeah, almost every lawn you mow costs us
15 bucks.

Fifteen dollars?

Sounds like someone's priced themselves
out of the market.

Well, maybe you don't understand what my
friend here is saying.

This is our turf.

What, are you threatening me?

Just a little neighborly advice.

I'm not going to be intimidated by you
little thugs.

I'll mow whatever I want.

Why don't you... sleep on it.

Maybe you'll think more clearly in the
morning.