All language subtitles for yes_dear_s02e19_dances_with_couch

Hey, Kevin.

You must be our new members.

Welcome to the West Los Angeles Tribe of
Indian Scouts. I'm Carl Blumpkin,

Kevin's father. You can call me Chief
Blumpkin.

Well, I'm Jimmy. I'm Dominic's father. I
guess you can call me Chief Hughes.

Actually, there's only one chief.

I'm the chief.

See, I have most feathers.

Oh.

Okay, chief.

Where's your fridge?

Run a little fire water for afterwards.

Oh, well, we usually don't have alcohol
at the meeting.

What's the matter? Are you afraid you're
going to get drunk and sell me your

house for $24, huh?

I'll just keep it in the bag.

Thanks. All right, let's start the
meeting. I see everyone put their totems

the pole.

Oh, fathers and sons make their own
totem out of a potato chip tin. You can

yours home, decorate it, and bring it
back to the next meeting.

Great.

There aren't any chips in there.

This is the

talking stick.

Once we are in the sacred circle, no one
except the chief may speak.

unless they're holding the talking
stick.

Oh, that's a great idea. Maybe I should
make that rule with my wife and then

burn the stick, huh?

Sorry.

All right, let's go around the circle
and introduce ourselves to our new

scout.

I'm Great Star, and this is Bright Star.

I'm Talking Rock, and this is Running
Rabbit.

Now you can pick your Indian names. It
could be an animal or something else you

may find in nature.

Can I be Silver Fox?

Of course you can.

Can I be Red Fox?

That's what you want? You bet, dummy.

Come on, Red Fox, Sanford and Son, you
know?

Bum -bum -bana.

Jimmy,

we're taking Logan and Sam out for a
while.

Dominic's in his room playing, and if he
gets hungry, there's mac and cheese in

the fridge.

Jimmy. What?

We're going out.

Yeah, Dominic's in his room and there's
mac and cheese in the fridge. I heard

you. Well, then respond to me.

Sheesh. You know, when we were little, I
used to dream of being married to a

rock star.

Now I'd settle for an ape that knows
sign language.

Don't look at me.

I used to dream of a husband who'd slay
dragons for me.

Greg won't even sneak up on a spider
without a yardstick and a half a roll of

toilet paper.

little guy?

That's my nephew. He and my sister are
in town from Maryland, so I'm

while she goes on some job interviews.

Oh, what's your name, kiddo? Uh, he
don't talk yet.

Nathan?

Look at that. He does talk.

Anyway,

since there aren't any kids in my
building for him to play with, I figured

could hang out over here. Oh, well,
actually, Christine and I are going to

the kids to Chuck E. Cheese.

Perfect. Be good for the nice ladies.

Whoa, whoa, Billy.

We're not just taking him with us.
You've got to come, too.

But you guys love kids.

Well, not all kids.

It kind of depends on where they come
from.

For me to care about them, they kind of
have to be from my uterus.

All right, fine, I'll go. But if he
needs his diaper changed, you guys will

me, right?

I use the potty.

You're just full of surprises, aren't
you?

Hey, Jimmy, don't forget you and Dominic
have that Indian Scouts meeting at 7.

Indian Scouts, huh?

Oh, yes. I forgot about that meeting.

Oh, I guess I'm going to have to set up
the VCR to tape the late game.

Dominic, come in here and bring that
potato chip can.

I can't believe you guys are doing
Indian Scouts. Yeah, I know. It's kind

nerdy. It's not nerdy. I used to love it
when I was a kid.

Are we going to decorate our totem now?

Yeah, we just slapped some stickers on
it or something.

You can't just put some stickers on it.
It's going to represent you at every

meeting. Yeah, Uncle Greg was an Indian
scout when he was little. Really?

Yeah, it was great. What's your Indian
name?

Silver Fox.

I'm Red Fox.

Doesn't anybody watch Nick at night?

What do you think we should paint on it?

First, I think we should put Indian
symbols for your Indian name along the

here, and then maybe put some arrows
around the edges here.

And, hey, we could spell out your
tribe's name in symbols, too.

I mean, maybe you and your dad could.
Hey, look, sounds like you know what

you're doing. Why don't you help him?
Really?

Please.

Well, why not? I bet you I have my
Indian Scout stuff in the garage still.

want to see all my feathers?

Yeah, can you take me to the meeting
tonight and show them to everyone?

Well, I'd love to, but I don't think
your father wants to. No, no, go ahead.

don't mind.

Really? Hey, you know, you like it?

Dominic likes it? I mean, I wouldn't
mind staying home and watching some

from Cleveland I got 50 bucks on.

Let's go get your feathers.

Really? Okay. Hey, have you learned to
sing the campfire song yet?

No.

Down by the wigwam early in the morning.

Somebody needs to make the fire glow.

Little Scout is working to make the
morning fire.

Hack, hack, whack, whack, watch him go.

Click, click, click, click, watch them
go.

Oh, hello, Silver Fox.

Hello. How? I'm Little Bear, Dominic's
uncle.

Oh. Okay. Oh, nice to have you join us.

Look, it's not a big deal, but you can't
just wear the feathers. You have to

earn them.

Oh, really?

You mean like when I learned semaphore
to get my signaling feather or when I

painted a mural on a wall to get my
creativity feather? I could go on, but I

don't want to brag because you might
take away my modesty feather.

I got the green feather for having a
sense of humor.

He was an Indian scout when he was
little.

It's an honor to have you join our
tribe, Little Bear.

I'm Talking Rock, and this is Great
Star.

Hi, how are ya? Hi, how are ya?

You know, Dollar Thumb, you can teach us
a bunch of really cool games to play.

Cool! Hey, since Little Bear has the
most feathers, does that make him the

chief?

Yes, yes, I suppose it does.

Well, I don't want to... No, no, that's
the rules. You're the new chief.

Well, as new chief, my first action will
be to call Domino's and show you guys

how to use every part of a buffalo wing.

Is this on?

I swear, it's just like riding a bike.

Hey, how was Chuck E. Cheese?

This place is a nightmare.

400 screaming kids and 200 screaming
mothers.

to make a million dollars, they'll tie
your own tube kits in that parking lot.

Jimmy, have you been to Chuck E. Cheese?

It's amazing.

They got video games, they got pizza,
they got this cute little mouse that

out and does a little dance.

That's how I always pictured heaven.

Except the pizza would be free and the
mouse would be Rebecca Romaine Stamos.

Oh, you liked it, Billy, huh? Oh, I
loved it.

Hey, you guys want to take the kids here
again tomorrow?

Sure. How about you meet us on the
corner at Kiss My Ass Avenue in no

way?

Come on, it won't be that bad. I mean,
you can walk around the mall while I

watch the kids.

I want to make sure I understand what
you're saying.

You're willing to take all three
children to Chuck E. Cheese while

I walk around the mall by ourselves?

I just think it'd be more fun for Nathan
if you...

Quick, Kim, grab his ass. Maybe you'll
take him to Disneyland.

All right, well, I guess I'll see you
guys tomorrow.

Come on, Nathan, let's go home, have
dinner.

We'll have some more pizza. It's just
like Chuck E. Cheese, except in my

the mice don't dance.

Not unless you flick matches at them.
Good night.

Is that right?

That's perfect. I told you it wasn't
that hard. You guys working on some

Scout stuff?

No, just some homework he had. Why don't
you try to finish the rest by yourself?

Okay. Buddies for life, Chief.

Buddies for life, Silver Fox.

What's that mean, buddies for life?

Oh, it's the Indian Scout slogan.

Oh.

Look, you don't need to help him with
his homework. I can do that. I don't

Besides, it's math.

It's first grade math, Greg.

I can do first grade math.

It's not fractions, right?

Look, Jimmy, it's no big deal. His
teacher said he was falling behind in

subtraction. I just taught him a few
tricks.

Wait a minute. When did you talk to his
teacher? This morning. He asked me to

drive him to school. You drove him to
school? Yeah. He wanted to talk about

we were bringing to the big camp out
this weekend.

Well, I'm glad. But listen, I can drive
him to school, okay? So if he asks you

again, just tell me.

I'll take him.

I really don't mind. But I do, okay?
Because I'm his father.

And if he's having trouble at school,
Mrs. Glenn should have called me.

His teacher's name is Phipps.

Okay, whatever.

All right, Mrs. Phipps. Miss.

Miss Phipps.

Miss Tyra. Okay, look, just don't drive
him to school anymore, okay?

Fine. Look, I don't know why you're
getting mad at me. I would have never

him to school in the first place if you
were the one taking him to Indian

Scouts. Oh, so what?

That makes me a bad father?

Okay. He said he wanted you to go, so I
said you could go. He only wanted me to

go because he knew you didn't want to.

Look, just because I don't want to go to
the stupid Indian Scouts thing didn't

mean I want you doing everything else
with Dominic. Well, that's why we do

everything else, Jimmy.

Indian Scouts give us something in
common.

That's the purpose. What do you think,
we just like dressing up as Indians?

Yeah.

Well, it is fun, but that's not the
purpose.

Okay, fine.

You know what? I'll just... I'll take
him from now on, okay?

Fine. I think you should.

Uncle Greg, can you show me how to work
a compass so I can get my first feather?

I can't right now. I'm kind of busy.
Sorry, buddy.

Okay, we'll do it later.

Uh, look, Dominic, Uncle Greg's not
going to go to the camp out with you

weekend. I am.

Why?

Because I'm your father, okay? And
Indian Scouts is something that, you

fathers and sons are supposed to do
together. And, look, I'm sorry that I

haven't been going with you, but I
really want to. So, what do you say?

for life?

No, thanks.

I want Uncle Greg to go.

What? Uncle Greg knows all the cool
stuff.

He's going to help me get my first
feather this weekend.

No, no, no, he's not. I'm going to help
you get your first feather this weekend.

But he don't know how to do anything.

I want Uncle Greg to go. He's the chief.

Yeah, but I'm your father, okay? And
like I just said, Indian Scouts is

something that fathers and sons are
supposed to do together.

You don't even know any of the songs.

Of course I do. I know that song that
you guys were singing the other day.

Out in the wigwams early in the morning.

Scooping up the field mice, bopping them
on the head.

We're never going to get a feather.

We're going to get a feather.

Uncle Greg can't put up a teepee. Yeah,
well, he might be able to put it up, but

he couldn't sleep in it without his
lumbar pillow and humidifier.

Uncle Greg is a teepee feather.

So will we. Okay, now don't worry. We're
going to get a feather.

Do some members of our tribe need some
help from their Indian brothers?

Uh, no.

We can set it up ourselves. Thank you.

Are you sure?

We're sure. We can do it on our own.
Thanks.

That's too bad.

If you'd accepted our help, you would
have earned your humble feather.

Good luck, though.

What is this, a game show?

Hey, who is ready to go to Chuck E.
Cheese?

Who's ready to see a movie and get a
manicure while Billy watches the kids?

Coming.

Hey. Hey.

Um, where's Nathan?

Oh, he's gone.

What do you mean he's gone? Oh, he's
gone. My sister went back to Maryland.

left yesterday morning.

Is Jimmy here or don't we watch again?

Uh, no, he took Dominic on a camp out.

Okay. Take it easy.

Wait, wait, wait.

Wait, wait, wait.

What about Chuck E. Cheese?

You were going to take the kid.

Well, yeah, when Nathan was gone, I
mean, he has family.

Uncle, Uncle Billy.

What? Oh.

I think he called you Uncle Billy. He
did.

I mean, the kids love you, and, you
know, they think of you as family.

So, what do you say, Uncle Billy?

Oh, you two kids.

That's how cute you are.

Call me when you're old enough to go to
Hooters.

All right, everyone.

I've hidden the ceremonial beads.

Fill your wampum pouches with as many
beads as you can find.

The one who finds the most beads will
earn their explorer feather.

All right, go! All right, come on,
Dominic. We've got to win this.

Unless there's a hot dog eating feather,
this is probably our best shot.

Something's in the bush.

Okay, scouts, get with your father.

Look, it's about to rain. Remember what
we read about mountain lions. Make

yourself tall.

Buddy, watch this.

Don't worry, I'll just scare it away.

Relax, it's just a rabbit.

Cool, a bunny rabbit.

Can we see it?

Actually, you might not want to...

I was just trying to scare it.

You said it was a mountain lion.

Hey, hey guys, listen to this.

It says here that the bunny's spirit
will be lifted to a better place.

He killed the bunny.

You said it was a mountain lion.

Just some other campers. I'm sure it
will stop soon.

Well, we can only hope that the Great
Spirit welcomes the rabbit spirit.

We're hoping.

I have

a whole forest out here. I don't see why

they have to camp right next to us.

Keep your voice down, chief. Let's not
make them angry.

I already saw a dead bunny. He could see
his father get bastard.

I'll go over and talk to them. No, no,
no, no, no, no.

Our tribe is a reasonable one.

There's no reason we can't learn to
coexist.

And tell us what you've done this week.
What?

Tell us what you've done this week.

You start, Bright Star.

This

is

ridiculous. I'm going to go talk to
them. I'll be right back. Hey, hey,

are you going?

I'm not fighting. I just had a crown put
in. I'm not even supposed to eat a nap.

Come on, kids, grab some stuff in case
we have to run.

They're going

to move to another place.

What did you say to them? I asked them
if they could move to another place.

were nice. Here, they gave us some
beers.

They also offered us to hit off their
peace pipe, if you're into that kind of

thing.

I can't believe you just went over
there.

Weren't you scared?

Scared? That pickup truck, Pabst Blue
Ribbon, Leonard Skinner?

That's my truck.

Thank you, Red Fox.

You saved our camp out.

Really, it's not that big of a deal.
Somebody had to go over.

No. Somebody didn't have to go over
there.

But they did.

And because of that, Red Fox, we owe you
a feather.

Is that the... Yes, it is.

Red Fox, I present you with the most
coveted feather we have.

No one in this tribe has ever earned it.

It is awarded to those who have shown
bravery and strength to protect the

It is with great honor that I present
you with the warrior feather.

I'm honored.

But if it's all right, I'd like to give
this to my son.

Silver Fox.

Thanks, Dad.

That's beautiful.

Can somebody get Red Fox his sharing
feather, please?

It's not that big a deal. I don't
deserve a sharing feather.

Get him a modesty feather while you're
at it.

And we'd all like to thank Red Fox for
his gift of these lovely bunnies that,

a tribe, we will take care of together
and earn our nurturing feathers.

I think the music is scaring the
bunnies.

I'll tell them to turn it down.

You know, you already earned your
warrior feathers.

This one's mine.