All language subtitles for The.Real.Housewives.of.Miami.S07E01.MIA.Back.in.Action.480p.x264-mSD[EZTVx.to]

This is an outrageous crowd. I'm so
happy you all came. Thank you very, very

much.

I love you.

I never thought I'd have a woman as
spectacular as you.

There's nothing I could ever give you
today to show you how much I love you. I

love when you call me your gringo.

Todd is everything to me, and he has
always been very accepting of the

thing to me, my son.

And this is why I fell in love with
Todd.

Is this real? Like, they just got
married.

You don't break up, right? Like, you
work things out.

Yeah. And this is our third marriage.

I guess Adriana was right.

Yeah, I was right and I that's the one
time I wish I was wrong

Don't

let him make you feel bad.

Don't let him make you feel bad.

I never expected for him to do this
parasol

So all this happened Saturday, April
6th. On Friday night, he's like, pick

whatever restaurant you want to go to.
He made the reservation.

We went. We sat at the bar. We had
drinks first. Then we had dinner.

And we had a great time. Then we went
home and we had, like, amazing sex.

And he told me how he loved me so much
and I was the most beautiful woman and

how I was, like, the best lover.

So Saturday, April 6th, I got home.
Everything was missing. He had moved him

his daughter out.

The month before, he apparently had
gotten keys to an apartment and they

taking things.

And I had no idea.

Toiletry, everything.

He even took the shampoo from the
bathtub.

So I'm like freaking out.

Everything's gone.

And Frankie's like, Mom, Todd's gone.
He's gone. He did this in front of my

Julia.

He left them there in front, moving the
things with the suitcases, the whole

thing, and gave a shit about Frankie.

In the morning, he was planning all this
to get me out of the house. He kept on

telling me, why don't you leave already?
Because I was going to do something

with Peter.

Why don't you leave already?

And I was like, no, because Peter's not
ready. Well, it doesn't matter. He had

it all planned.

He moved out of my house, of our house,
with Frankie there.

Was he kind to Frankie and Peter?

Warm? You guys have not done anything to
make it better for him.

Todd, you have to be careful with the
words we have.

So let me ask you a question. Getting
him freaking stoned is good for him?

not talking about that.

No.

I actually feel that I let my son down a
lot.

I was like, I'm just not looking at him.
I'm so sorry. Your blood pressure is

going to go up. I know. You've got to
calm down.

Sorry, but I feel so bad.

You don't have to apologize to us. We
love you. That's why we're here.

She's had a lot of relationships and so
have I. We know what ups are about. Do

not ever say that you've done something
wrong with your story.

No. All you did, you believed in love.

Don't ever say you let your boys down.
You did not.

And then on Monday, I talk to him like
if nothing.

Thursday, I get a phone call from my
attorney telling me your husband filed

divorce. But all this time he was
talking to me, Monday, Tuesday, and

we were talking, like, even about
therapy, like, all that.

A heartless person, a coward, would do
something like that. And it's nothing

that hasn't happened to you before, and
it's nothing that you cannot handle. You

know what happens when men go? You have
your kids, and you have your friends.

Hi, sweetheart.

Hi, my friend.

How are you?

I'm not good.

Honestly, if you would have told me I
had a better chance of winning the lotto

than he doing this to me, I would have
believed it. He actually told me that I

was going to be happy about this
decision.

Like, all this was a shock to me. I got
home, and all his things were gone.

Yeah, like, why would you be happy?

Yeah, well, I mean, I don't know.

I know.

It was horrible, Teresa. It was so
painful. You have no idea.

Did you ever talk about divorce?

Never. There was no fight. There was,
like, no nothing. That's why it's so

painful and, like, I feel, like, so
betrayed.

Because it just came out of the blue.

I was blindsided, yes.

Do you think you guys can work things
out?

I wish that I could, you know, take all
this back and I can fix it and I could

live with him happily ever after. That's
all I wanted.

That's all I wanted when I married him.

I know, I know, but we don't want that
for the rest of our lives.

I think I'm happy something happened. I
don't even want to be happy anymore.

A lot of things make sense. We love you,
Alexia. I love you. Oh,

wait, group hug.

Group hug.

We love you so much.

Piling huggers. Putting all my makeup
on.

Hi, I have a reservation in Marisol. I
worked

out

with a trainer today.

Hi, I love you. Hi.

What's going

on with Lisa? Lisa's going to come meet
us, so let's talk everything now before

she gets here.

I was like, what?

I want to know how she's feeling.

I just hope that she doesn't do
anything.

stupid and fall back into that trap.

Hi, my name is Paula. May I get you some
soap? Practicing water to get started.

Paula, I would love a chilled Tito's and
cranberry on the side. Okay. Any spicy

margarita? Salt rim is good.

Amazing. I'm worried that she's going to
get back.

Lenny. I'm worried. She's not going to
mess things up with Jodi. Jodi's been

there by her side.

I feel like Lisa just wants Lenny to be
nice to her. You know, at the end of the

day, I just think that women want their
exes or their men to just be nice and

kind. And I felt like with her and
Lenny, that's what happened. There was

much fighting. Like, she hasn't had
peace. Now, she's having peace not only

Lenny, but with herself.

You know, she may not forgive him, may
not forget him. It'll be interesting

we talk to her now because...

You know, like, we've been friends with
her for so many years.

Right, right, right.

Cheers. To the past, the present, and
the future. I don't really like to talk

about the past, but... Okay.

Cheers. Cheers.

Oh, yeah, so tell me what's going on
with Todd because you didn't tell me you

were seeing him.

I read about it in the press.

Oh, yeah, so tell me what's going on
with Todd because you didn't tell me you

were seeing him.

And I read about it in the press.

You were in Japan, and, you know, I
didn't want to tell you.

I didn't want to ruin your trip. I mean,
I've been kind of hesitant, like, to

tell, not to tell anybody because I'm
not embarrassed about it.

You know, I'm not ashamed because I
really do love Todd, and I'm in love

Todd.

I mean, it's hard not to give Todd
another chance. And it's hard not to see

or talk to Todd when I'm in love with
him.

I just feel like Todd and I are not
finished.

Not good.

Bad.

Should I get you to drink? What are you
drinking?

A skinny spicy.

Of course you are. I'll do the same.
Same, sounds great. So we were just here

talking shit about you, just kidding.

Not about Lisa, but about Lenny on the
other hand. Because I'm getting a little

worried that you might want to get back
with him. He's been asking to get back.

No! No!

No! No! No!

Don't do it! No!

No!

Oh my God, don't do it. What about Jodi?

I love Jodi, but I don't know, I have
kids to think about.

You have a daughter, Lisa, that you're
okay with what he did to you. He can be

remorseful. Your relationship could get
better.

Okay, I can't, I can't. I'm just
kidding.

You're kidding?

Are you kidding?

Oh, come on, Lisa.

I was really concerned. I lost my buzz.

Yeah. So cut the bullshit.

I'd rather post a really ugly picture of
me naked that I would never show anyone

in a million years than get back
together with Lenny.

I know that doesn't sound bad to a lot
of people, but I would just be

devastated. I want to talk about you.

You and Todd are still getting, like,
getting freaky with it. You guys are

away on vacation.

Like, wow.

She didn't know about it. I read it. I
read it. I read it, too, in the news. I

know. So did I. You'd think I would have
known.

I'm not going to get mad at her. Do I
think it's stupid? Yes.

But she's got to do it. It's her life.

Peace. Falls for divorce thinking that
he was just going to close that chapter

of our lives. He was never going to talk
to me again. Two or three weeks later,

he realizes, I can't do this. Like, I
can't live without Alexia.

And the truth is, like, we haven't been
able to move on. It's like we love each

other and we want to be with each other.

Listen, baby, sometimes what's right for
the whole isn't right for the soul.

Just going to say.

And I've been there.

Sorry to interrupt you. Should I get you
anything to eat right now? The hamachi?

Yeah, of course. The tuna, I love that.
That's great.

The dates with the pancetta, manchego.
Yeah, perfect. Speaking of fruit, I'm

throwing a birthday party for Jodi on
Saturday.

Do a little bit of a theme, kind of like
old Hollywood -ish thing. You know,

Marilyn Monroe.

Is Jodi inviting Marcus?

No. Oh, God.

Absolutely not, because Larissa...

And I had a huge issue over some
complete nonsense.

She was very upset, Lisa. Super mad.

I'm upset.

I know, my love. Let me set the record
straight because I like to be crystal

clear while my name is being dragged.

Jodi and I were at dinner at Catch.

We walked by.

Here's Marcus with all of Jodi's.

bestest friends in the world of course
we're gonna say hi marcus is all the way

over here we sat for maybe a minute and
that's it so then jody went with his

friends to dinner and marcus was there
but i was invited and i said hell to the

no i'm not going there i'm not going
marcus takes out his phone and takes a

selfie jody's not going to say no but he
heard that jody went yeah

post the picture she's upset that jody
went and she thought you could have

stopped him i can't stop jody from being
with his friends what he's not he's a

guy he's a man larsa said you should
have controlled him okay

you don't want your friends guys guys
larsa

said i'm gonna start hanging out with
lenny and katarina but she plays dirty

like that

It was just attack after attack after
attack, like mean text after mean text.

What did I do to deserve that? I have
boundaries.

She's not allowed to talk to me like
that.

Actually, no one's allowed to talk to me
like that. Marcus is an acquaintance at

best. You still follow Marcus?

Would you like it if we followed Lenny
after what he did to you?

You told everybody to unfollow him. By
the way, I never followed him.

this is Larsa's boyfriend that she's
been with for a year, and you met him

through Larsa, and, you know, they're
having a public breakup, and you know

Larsa feels about this.

It's really rude and disrespectful and
hurtful to Larsa. Like, I would be mad

Lisa, too.

I'm sorry. You need to unfollow him now.

If I did something wrong, I would
apologize for it. But I didn't do

wrong. I didn't go to dinner. But your
boyfriend went. Talk to Jody. Don't talk

to me. Talk to Jody. I can control him,
friend. Should I talk to Jody at his

birthday party? No, you cannot.

Your ass might get kicked out.

Hey, honey, I got stuff.

I've got two.

Okay, what have you got? Is that for the
corners?

They're not sticking. Well, you have to
take off the sticky part.

I'm going to ruin my manicure.

Okay, you need to stop worrying about
your manicure these days. Here, see?

So if they run into this, they're not
going to hurt themselves.

That's why I need you.

Remember, for two years, I was
daydreaming, hoping to have... One baby.

Just when both

of us were thinking this will never
happen, we got a phone call. There is

only one, but two baby boys in need of
our home.

Stick it on.

Which way? Okay, now what?

We had no time to prep at all. I was in
Moscow.

when I've heard the news. And Martina
was in Prague.

Where the hell does this go, though?

Underneath? It can't be.

And now I have, like, goat poop on one
hand and diaper poop on another hand.

mean there are sizes in the stove, baby?
Yeah.

That's my new normal now.

How are you feeling?

Confused. Baby's moving out. Hello.

Hello. Goodbye. Come on, don't say
goodbye to me.

You realize we're old enough to be
grandparents.

I think I put the microphone back.
Raising two boys is not the same thing

raising two girls. But now that Martina
is 100 % cancer -free, to watch Martina

interact with the boys, she just has
such a new zest for life.

How did your friends react?

Six women joined the cult.

We finally did it. We finally expanded
our family. And we have two little

brothers. I have my two little sons, two
brothers.

One is three, one is a year and a half.

Yay! That's so exciting.

We have to have a celebration.

We will not be posting any pictures or
anything because they need to go on,

need to be safe first. It's way too
early. I'm not exposing them to

my full life yet, just yet. Right. All
right, well, we'll wait to meet them in

person then. Kiki couldn't make it
because her daughter dropped the phone.

in the toilet, but she couldn't make it.
One number dropped. It was Gertie's. So

Gertie didn't come back?

No, she did not.

I was a couple of minutes late, and I
saw all the numbers. One number dropped,

and that number was Gertie's. She texted
me. She asked for, is there another

link? Now my hands are literally full,
and I'm busy, but it's out there. And

just sent me a cold message saying,
congrats. That was it. Oh, wow. That's

I've been a little surprised by some of
Gertie's behavior lately.

So I am reevaluating our friendship.

How are you going to deal with that when
you see her? Are you going to say

anything? I don't care. I have my life
full of so many things to do. I don't

have time for negativity.

So if that's how she's addressed it,
that's how she's addressed it. I'm not

going to run after anyone.

Okay.

Coming up.

I feel like I'm on the out. I don't know
what I did.

I don't know enough about that. You were
there and then you disappeared.

What's the ride?

Uh, yeah, that'd be great.

Do you want toast?

Uh, yeah, please.

You want bacon?

No, thanks.

Made with love.

Here you go. Thank you.

This is looking great.

I am currently at my rental. I'm not
sure how long I'm going to be here, but

Jodi and I decided that we wanted to
give our love a chance.

And the logical next step for most
couples is to move in with each other.

I feel like I'm actually more
comfortable here now. Like, I would

something like this over that big White
House.

It was just too big.

Yeah.

This is still ginormous, right?

But it feels cozier.

Cozy. It feels cozier.

It's 6 ,000 square feet with a 6 ,000
square foot balcony.

Okay, but... You call it cozy.

Yeah.

It's so peaceful like without having
everyone here Okay, you

have a speech okay?

Yeah,

you know a lot of people when they go
through a divorce They'll end up having

kid full -time to me that felt like the
biggest adjustment for you was like when

you Went to halftime. Oh, my God, yeah.

I feel like if I didn't have you with me
for half the time that I don't have my

kids, I don't know what I would do. I am
very involved in my children's life,

and it's very difficult for me to not
have access to them 50 % of their young

little lives.

I don't know what's going on over there.
I don't know what kind of OnlyFans

photo shoots are happening.

I actually requested to have some nanny
cams, and, of course, I got shot down.

They didn't want me to have any.

cameras in that house so it's difficult
and then there's some nights i don't get

to say good night to them well let's not
talk about this stuff anymore let's

talk about your birthday yeah i want to
make sure that like there's a lot of my

friends i don't want to i want to make
sure it's not like like my birthday your

birthday yeah yeah i guess you won't be
inviting marcus Well, I just don't want

drama. I don't want, exactly.

I want it to just be fun.

I don't want, exactly.

That would be super explosive, and we
don't want that. And I don't need

reason for her to get on me about
something I didn't do, you know?

What are you trying to make, Mom?

A chicken.

Like a Greek style.

Chicken with cereal?

Mm -hmm.

You can leave the skin on.

No, I don't like my skin.

Why? It's better with the skin. It's
healthier.

That's what I do.

Who's the chef? Me or you?

I mean, I'm a chef too, honey. Honey
bunny, I'm a chef too.

My family is such a big part of my life.

So it is kind of hard when I'm in Miami
and my mom and dad are in Chicago.

But we do make an effort.

When my mom comes to visit, she normally
stays for like two months.

I feel like I like you being here
because you cook every day.

You want the chef in the house, huh?

Yeah. My mom is super old school. Like,
where you keep your problems to

yourself. We never heard anything bad
about my dad. We grew up in a place of,

like, everything looked good, and she
was just really private. I'm just going

sit while you cook. I quit.

I think I just need to drink wine. Get
drunk.

I'm kind of used to being alone now.

Sometimes it's better.

It is, right?

Uh -huh. Especially if you're with,
like, the wrong person. It's definitely

better to be by yourself.

You know, it's really crazy that when I
was dating Marcus, my kids were like...

stop getting back together and breaking
up and just get off the ride.

They're smart.

Yeah, and that's when I was like, I need
to, like, get away from the situation.

My kids think that it's not good for me,
you know?

We went from really being in love,
getting along, to me seeing a side of

that didn't align with who I am as a
person.

When we would go out, he would like to
be the very last person in the club.

Like, I mean, there's no one there but
the janitors.

I know everyone's calling me about all
the stuff at the tabloids, and it's

Kind of stressful for, like, you guys
and, like, my kids.

I'm done. I just want to go to bed.

I just want to go to bed.

I think

I don't want to,

like, have that drug.

It's okay, Faye. It's okay.

It's okay.

It's so embarrassing.

Why is it embarrassing?

Just all of it. I fought everyone to be
with this guy, and then it was not a

good situation for me and my family. So
I had to remove myself from it, but

doing what was best for me and my family
and pissing him off so bad that he sent

me really bad messages and then, like,
reach out to my friends and say hurtful

things about me, and it was just bad.

It's really hurtful that he's, like,
talking.

They want me publicly, duh, because I've
done nothing but be nice to them and be

their friend and all their stupid
issues.

I need a minute.

And that's really what, like, annoys me
about the Lisa thing, because it's like,

if I tell my friend I'm going through a
lot with this person and I just want to

move forward and remove a toxic person
from my life, then you can't understand

that as my friend. You still follow
Marcus?

It's just hurtful, you know?

I feel like that's kind of why, like,
I'm mad at her.

The thing with them is they kept on
breaking up and making up and breaking

so I just felt like, why? I don't need
to make him an enemy.

And then they get back together. And
then they get back together, and then

on us. Like, then we're going to be X'd
out.

They... have to both grow up, and
Miami's a small place, and they're going

in the same places.

But I'm not going to have it here. I'm
not going to do that here. I'm not

it here.

Oh, no.

Oh, my God. My brother texts me about my
dad. He says, okay.

I don't understand this text.

They tried to take him off the
ventilator, basically, and it kind of

and then...

He felt like, it seemed like he was
struggling, so they put him back on.

My father had a stroke.

I had just seen my dad a month or so
ago, and we reconnected in a way I never

thought possible.

I don't, I don't, I don't know what to
do. Like, I just made amends with my

father. We just went to Canada, to
Toronto.

Elle met him for the first time.

Growing up, my dad, he wasn't really
involved.

In my life, he liked to drink a lot.

When I was like 16, I decided to leave
home because it was a very uncomfortable

childhood. It was very unhealthy.

You have to forgive. You have to forgive
your parents.

They're your parents. They brought you,
they gave you life. They brought you

here. And they make mistakes.

We all make mistakes.

Coming up.

Jodi and I left a real party for your
fake breakup.

You're a fake bitch to say that. There's
the door. You need to leave. Fake ass.

Wait. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fake
breakup? Are you crazy?

Is that my

ticket?

Yes!

Freaking amazing yacht, honey.

Your ass got smaller and my ass got
bigger.

I'm out of shape.

Bear with me, girl. Okay, breathe.

Walking down, literally, that's how bad
it is. Well, listen, now you look 100 %

better. Life has been a roller coaster.

Cancer is definitely a word that is
never going to leave my mouth. I'm going

say it. I have cancer.

Oh, my God, no.

It's been six surgeries, four rounds of
chemo, plus 20 rounds of radiation.

plus plus plus plus i gained 30 pounds i
had a breast reduction

I had to have lipo because of this
breast. Let me show you.

It's still messed up. I know.

Listen, you know, you've been with your
husband forever.

I'm sure he doesn't care about that.

Excuse me, he should care about that,
okay? This is a work in progress. No,

this is not something you chose, Gertie.
That's something that happened to you.

As much as I want to say I'm cancer
-free, yay, YOLO, we're still going

the kinks of what cancer left. I don't
want you to feel like you're in a

caretaking role.

and not see me for what you used to see
me as and that's like to me my biggest

worry is kind of like

You say that, but, like, I feel
different about it. It's been, like, a

explosion, and there's debris
everywhere, and we literally, one day at

are picking up the pieces. I need to
toast to the good life.

Thank you. This yacht, it's amazing.

Well, this one in particular, I haven't
been on that one. Oh, she said this one

in particular, because she be on yachts
all day long. Okay, girl. All day

longer. Okay, okay, Miss Sunshine.

I do know people.

I am a member of the Miami Beach Yacht
Club, but, however, I used to date...

the owner of the Miami Beach Yacht Club.

So I also have access to use the yacht
whenever I want.

Welcome, my beauty.

You look stunning.

Hi, babe. How are you? Great. How are
you?

She's coming.

You used to date this guy, and he still
wants to use his yacht. Did you break up

with him?

Yeah. What's wrong?

Yeah.

Why everybody find it hard to believe?
Like I should be him or something?

I had a very, very crazy summer.

I feel like this is the first summer I
really feel like I was going through so

much. I just moved into a new home.

My son just started college. And I was
dating someone.

Kiki, I hear you have a new boyfriend.

Yes. Congratulations.

Thank you. Anything you can tell us
about him? I just feel like he's like my

perfect man. That's great.

We're no longer together.

I find out that he had a girlfriend the
whole time. So, yeah.

And then he called me a couple of months
ago and told me, oh, by the way, I

broke up with the girlfriend.

I want to hear some gossip, bitches.
Every time I see you, Gina, you be the

man. I am seeing somebody for about six
months, the tall guy that you saw.

Was he French? He's French. You love
French men.

I have a pattern.

I have a pattern.

I like my man like I like my coffee.

French roast.

Tall, dark, and delicious.

What I don't want is to waste my time,
number one. And number two, I want to

make sure I don't repeat the same
mistakes I made in the past.

Okay, let me transition what's going on
with Alexia. Because, like, is she back

with Todd or not? Because I've heard
some rumors that they were shacked up in

the hotel room. Yeah, Gianna will know.
She knows everything about Alexia. So

look at you laughing. They were, what,
hucked up into, like, a hotel room for a

week? Wait, who?

Wait. I'm thinking now Alexia's judgment
is pretty cloudy, but I can understand

where she's coming from because in the
Latin culture, sometimes we forgive our

men way too many times.

I hope that she resolves her issue with
Todd, whatever they're going to do.

But the truth is, having gone through
that and having gone through a

and a divorce, now I see myself at the
other end of the tunnel. You know, I'm

the other side.

I only wish that she has the strength
and that we are there to support her.

I'm there to support her if she needs me
as a friend.

Todd's material things enables Alexia to
feel that she's better than some of us.

A little bird told me something about
Alexia and Todd and the whole thing.

that they're having some financial
issues.

That's what you resent.

That I've had so much love in my life.

It bothers you. She wants everything I
have. She wants my husband.

I want to be the last friend that she
goes for support, but you know, it's

to know that you'll be there for her.

I know. I feel like it's been forever.

You look so skinny and so good.

I like it.

We're both single. Are you single?

No, no, I'm not single.

You're not single? No, I'm not single.
You're not single until your heart is

single. Oh.

I'm not serious, my friend.

The last time we spoke about Todd, it
was the worst thing that's ever happened

to her. To me, he was a coward. Like,
who does that? Who, like, walked out on

their family, on me,

on Frankie?

I don't know what the hell's going on.

I'm telling you this, my friend, you
have to have...

A little bit of guard up? Because your
tone right now is giving him all the

benefit of the doubt. You have to be
realistic with, like, if someone could

this to you, hurt you, hurt your kids.
No, listen, I'm very upset how he did

I mean, he's a coward. I mean, I'm not
going to take away from that. But then

that means what if it happens again?

Oh, I know, but that's how life is.

Like, I'm hoping it won't happen again.

But we haven't even had that talk.
Because, you know, I think that at this

point, we're both afraid.

I'm afraid to talk to Todd about...

The divorce I'm just afraid that it's
gonna start another fight. I think don't

go back to town and just live with me so
we're both like tiptoeing and walking

on eggshells and just having like a nice
time and and Being lovey -dovey and not

really talking about what we have to
talk about which is the divorce.

We're all gonna end up single I don't
care. I'm okay with that I don't want to

be with the guy that I don't like with
saggy balls. You don't want to be there

No. Okay? Well, I don't like balls to
begin with. Now I'm going to go look at

Todd's balls to see if they have any
indication or signs that they're going

to... They're for sure sagging. That's
why he's mad. He's mad because his balls

are sagging.

Love this guy. I know, I know. It's hard
to walk away. Oh, my God, it's so hard,

Larsa. How were you able to do it? Like,
you loved Marcus so much because you've

done so much shit to hurt me that it's
like, we're done.

What were some examples?

We were first dating.

Paparazzi caught a girl going to his...

How?

Is that what Julia was talking about?
Yeah. What did you do to him when he

grabbed the ass of that girl?

He grabbed the girl in Orlando.

Now that I look back at all this stuff,
I'm like, I shouldn't have believed him

then. On top of everything that you were
going through then, the headlines are

that Marcus is caught, you know, with
some white substance, you know, in his

nose, whatever.

It's embarrassing for me and my kids.
It's embarrassing for him.

It has to be embarrassing for him. He
was sending me and my friends really

threatening text messages at the end.

Threatening? Yeah.

When you least expect it, I'm going to
get you back.

And I could care less about the impact
it does to your family. Leave me alone.

We don't have to talk about it. I said,
then stop reaching out to my friends.

Honestly, I had to like.

Block him from everything because it
would never be over like and that's kind

the thing with Lisa She was like, oh
well Jody and him are bros Her thing was

like that there were always friends that
everybody's friends and it's a friend

cool. Cool I can't stop Jody from being
with his friends, but he's not he's a

guy he's a man But it would you be cool
with someone threatening you and your

children? I literally had to testify
under oath for her What's the situation

with laying cats, right?

So if I'm that good of a friend
testifying under oath for you, is that

enough? I've always had Lisa's back.

Like, but it's fine. It's all good.

You know what's so great about those
tables?

They turn.

So we'll see how it goes.

You guys really need to have a
conversation.

I don't know if it's going to be
Saturday night. No, it's not going to be

Saturday night. I wouldn't want that for
Jodi because you know what?

It's not his fault. No. She needs a
class on get out of Lisa land and get

like a friendship zone.

So you guys have to make me gorgeous
tonight.

I have my new man coming with me.

Cheers. I

don't

know how to do this. I can't break it.

Did I break it? I broke it already.

I broke it.

That's so pretty.

I love it. Happy birthday, Jodi.

Hello.

How are you? Hi, baby.

How are you? Hey,

baby. Thank God you look beautiful.

But I've met you before.

Now, I'm really proud of bringing Amaury
to the party tonight because not only

he's super handsome, he comes from
aristocracy in French, and he actually

title. He's a marquis.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Everybody looks
so glamorous.

You look so good.

I got a French boyfriend.

French or fake? French.

I walked in with that six -four piece of
meat.

And everybody got hungry, baby.

Congratulations on the boys.

Congratulations.

See you guys are glowing. Martina,
congratulations.

Thank you. If you need any tip, any
help, let me know.

We will take you out.

Hi.

Hey.

He has one of his really hot times.

Never mind, I don't want it on. For,
yeah, hot.

Maybe for Kiki. Kiki's really tall. Oh,
yeah, yeah.

I'm married.

Yeah, that's right. Oh, girl, yes. You
are married until you are not.

Jodi! Happy birthday!

Happy birthday!

The star has arrived.

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday.

Good to see you.

Happy birthday.

Thank you. You look amazing.

Hi.

I'm so happy for you, babe.

You did it. You did it. You've got to
tell me where you were all this time,

you were.

Unfortunately with Adriana, for some
reason that I don't really know,

we have not been communicating that
much. There has been some distancing

us because we started to get closer to
Marisol and Alexia.

I wanted more of you, but I understand.

You are the reason. Probably. She was
very busy.

Oh, make -up. Make -up.

We're making some pornos. I love porn.

Oh, you look good.

How are you? Hi, I'm good, thank you.
You good? Hi.

Oh, my God, this is great. Wow.

Old Hollywood glam.

You're naked.

I'm not familiar with old Hollywood, but
I guarantee you they were not showing

their nipples.

Okuchi. Julia, hi.

How are you? Hi, hi, hi. Good, good,
good. Good. You look good.

How are the kids, the two boys?

They're exciting.

God,

it's such a fake hello.

Hi, Julia.

Hi, Martina.

Oh, hello.

That was very strange.

Sorry, sorry, I didn't know.

What we do with the bone marrow right
here,

we're going to pour tequila down it.
That's some rich people.

because I've never heard of a Bonnero
shot.

Welcome to Miami.

Liar, liar.

She's still lying.

She's such a liar, her nose is growing.

Yeah, she's drunk already?

Let's do it.

I'm sobering right now.

Bye.

I'm so happy to get this job.

These titties are out.

How many times?

Every time you ask me?

No.

Seven times?

If you want seven times, seven times.

Seven times?

Well, ten times, there won't be much
time in the day, but...

Oh, thank you. Thank you for coming.

You look beautiful.

Thank you. Yeah, I miss you guys.

Yeah. I've been trying to call Lisa. I
just feel like she doesn't, she's not a

good communicator.

Lisa? I wanted to change because my
party, well, it's Jodi's party,

and I feel like, you know, at your
wedding, you changed a few times. It's

wedding, but I love her. She's my best
friend.

I'm sure you guys will work it out.
Yeah.

Do you see all the stuff that Mark is
saying about me? I didn't even see. No,

haven't been watching anything.

I think Jody likes my ex's last name
more than he likes the person.

And I think he kisses ass a lot.

I agree.

I've been trying to call Lisa. I just
feel like

she's not a good communicator.

Lisa?

I'm sure you guys will work it out.
Yeah.

Yeah.

And, uh... But now that you've reached
all this stuff that Mark is saying about

me, so now do you understand?

I didn't even see. No, I haven't been
watching anything.

Okay.

So, sorry, but I don't want to, like...
We'll talk about it. Yeah, no.

Right here?

No, no.

I don't know if too many guys want to
make out with her, so she's got to take

what she can get when she can get it,
and time's ticking.

if I didn't get on the Zoom call.

Gertie was trying to get in as well on
the call, but she couldn't get in.

I had scheduled appointments.

I don't hear anything. No one's, like,
letting me in. And then I have to go

my meeting. So I had to hang up.

I followed up, and I said, hey, what was
the good news? I couldn't get in the

room. Oh, it's okay now. I've already
told all the other girls, but you'll

about it soon in the article.

She sent me a cold message saying,
congrats. That was it.

Oh, wow, that's warm.

She was pretty much telling me, go fetch
and go wait, and listen to the good

news with the rest of the public.

Okay, let's continue.

I don't know enough about that. I know
she was trying to get everybody at the

same time, and you were there, and then
you disappeared.

It's been great.

I'm going to go get a drink.

And some AC.

Where's Lucy?

In my room. Want to go?

Outfit change, huh?

Monkey change.

Monkey change.

I am feeling great. Karma has come
around and things aren't going good. You

what I mean? Oh, you're celebrating
Lenny. I mean, no.

The breakup. The breakup.

I'm celebrating life.

Oh, good. Okay.

But don't forget when life wasn't so
good and you were like sad and your

were really there.

Some of us are not in a real good place,
and we should check in on him.

You broke up with Lenny. I could never
go and be in the same table with him,

because I'm loyal to you. When I'm in a
toxic relationship trying to remove this

person from my life, do you think I want
you to go hang out with him? Where he's

literally going to send me a message
telling me everything what you guys

about. And how you said you weren't
going to tell me that you saw him. Do

think I want to be a part of this?

What I do know is...

publicly. I am not okay with that. And
I've always been with you. And that's

I didn't go to that dinner that they
went to.

Jody would have never met him if it
wasn't for me. They've never had a

conversation that didn't include you and
I. Martha could always say Jody was

really cheap.

I'm telling you, I'm trying to remove
someone toxic from my life. I can't

control another person. You can't
influence a guy who's digging up every

I don't understand how Lars's mind
works.

It's super selfish. She's super
entitled. And she's in my house talking

like, so rude. Have some manners, Larsa.

And for the record, I don't suck dick
every night of the week. Like, I am a

of two. I'm busy. Like, I have, like,
five full -time jobs.

If Jodi had your back and you said to
him, by the way, my friend is going

through a bad breakup, maybe you should
not be posting photos with a guy that's

threatening her. I didn't know he was
threatening you. He never told me that.

That was the night I was beating his
ass.

If you did that, okay? Lisa, I told you
it was a very bad situation for me.

I told you that. You did not tell me
that. When you were breaking up with

you didn't tell us everything that was
happening with you, with your situation,

right? That's a 15 -year... It doesn't
matter.

Okay, no, no. It is. No, it is.

I'm sorry. I got left with a two - and a
six -year -old at the time, and their

lives are forever, forever stuck.

I know, but you decided to leave your
husband.

The way they both talk to each other is
inappropriate and wrong.

I'm not trying to defend anybody, but
this could have all been avoided if Lisa

would have just picked up the phone. But
Lisa never picks up the phone to none

of us.

He keeps hanging out with Jodi. He never
hung out with Jodi before.

All of a sudden, he's best friends with
Jodi. You and Marcus have broken up

maybe four times, okay?

And one of the first times you broke up,
Jodi and I left a real party for your

fake breakup.

Honey, that was not a fake breakup.
You're a fake bitch to say that.

Don't say it was a fake breakup. Don't
be a bitch. I think there's a door you

need to leave.

I'm mortified.

I've never thrown a soul out of my
house.

Just run.

Us Cubans, we don't do that.

You're a horrible friend.

The only time you call people is when
you want to invite them to your fake

party. Fake ass. Wait. Aye, aye, aye,
aye. Fake breakup. Are you crazy?

You and Marcus have broken up maybe four
times. Jodi and I left

a real... for your fake break -up.

Honey, that was not a fake break -up.
You're a fake bitch to say that.

Excuse me. Don't say it was a fake break
-up.

Don't do this.

Don't do this. There's the door. You
need to leave.

You're a horrible friend.

The only time you call people is when
you want to invite them to your fake

party. Fake ass. Bye -bye.

Excuse me. Wait.

Fake break -up?

Wait, wait. What's up?

No, she's calling me a bitch, and you
don't call me a bitch in my house. Well,

don't say I'm having a fake break -up.
Why would I need a break -up?

Guys, it's true.

For Larsa to even act like one breakup,
two breakups, three breakups are all

authentic. Girl, bye. You have literally
TMZ and friends on speed dial, and we

all know it.

Why don't you look at what he's posting
on my Instagram? Does that look like a

fake? Is that fake to you? Don't you
yell at me like that. Is that fake to

Don't you do this. There's a door.

Who has a fake breakup? The guy lived
with me and my kids. What fake breakup?

I'm out of here. Larsa, wait, wait,
wait. I'm leaving.

What happened? You're a whack bitch to
think I would need a fake breakup.

Where is Jodi?

The AC is so good in there. It's good,
right?

Lisa, that was extra mean.

You don't call someone stupid, bitch.
She humiliated me. I have all my

I had a little too much to do.

Coming from you?

Yes, coming from me.

Coming from me. I would have said more
from you.

It's so hurtful when she knows, like,
literally, it's a bad place for me.

it's just... She's a...

I have seen Larsa cry, but I've never
seen her ugly cry like this before,

Like, I can see the la rume coming out
of her nose, like.

She's crazy.

She's always drunk and stupid.

And she's a bitch.

People are going to say, because you're
that girl, okay?

You can't keep running, Larsa.

I got you. Larsa, I don't want you
crying, okay? But you're calling me a

You're such a victim.

You're such a victim.

You're such a victim. A victim. It's,
like, really sad.

Because everything is always about Lisa.
You live in Lisa land, by the way,

okay?

You're my best friend. You were with me
at all times. I was a fake breakup.

Yes, that first one. The first one, yes.
Well, you're stupid.

Get out.

Lisa, she's your friend. Don't do that.

I'm going through something very public
with an ex -boyfriend of mine. Larsa,

don't you dare play. Okay.

You know what? The whole world knows
where you are. Get out.

What? Get out. What are you?

Get out.

Listen, I was just trying to get them to
break bread. Like, I'm not Jesus. I can

just try. I'm not God.

What is going on?

She's drunk and she's an idiot.

What's going on? What is it? Literally,
it's like embarrassing.

The whole world knows who you are. I
don't know what you meant, and I don't

to know.

That's unacceptable.

I don't think she's a, like, what the?

Just shut the f*** up and sit down.

You're at my house.

I am telling you, that was wrong.

That was extremely wrong.

She just called me stupid, bitch. You
threw her out of your house.

That's humiliating.

I wanted to come for Jodi. I didn't want
it to be about me, but it's like

literally her telling me that it's
like...

I had a fake breakup with a guy that
used to live with me and my kids.

And you know what he's saying about me
now?

We got back together. We broke up. We
got back together. But now you know. But

now you know what it is. And you're
saying it was a fake breakup? You're my

friend?

I wait until you get in the car and make
sure you get there safe. I don't want

you to get kidnapped because you're
single. You got big boobs. You sure? No,

All right, I love you. All right, baby.
I'll see you soon. Let's go. Let's go.

Let's go.

Now it's too easy.

Happy birthday.

season on The Real Housewives of Miami.

I

am

watching one of the biggest fashion
weeks in the world. Looks like I still

got it.

He's on all of our business calls. Maybe
he's her manager.

She's a social climber. What about you
and Gertie? She's not my safe space

anymore. You're a snake. You're a nasty
snake.

You're a liar.

Who do you think you are? Stephanie
Shoja. I'm Alexia Napola.