All language subtitles for The Suite Life on Deck s01e20 Cruisin for a Bruisin.eng

What's going on?

Guess what huge star
is getting on board our boat?

Ferran Adria,
the head chef at El Bulli?

No, guess again.

Takeru Kobayashi, five-time
world champion hot dog eater?

Wow, you guys are lousy
guessers. It's Hannah Montana!

[all screaming]

She's taking our boat
on the teen cruise to Hawaii!

I wanted to see her perform
in Honolulu, but it's sold out.

Well, it just so happens,
I know Hannah Montana.

[screaming]

She once stayed at the Tipton.
She even ate cake off my brother's shirt.

[gasps] Does he still
have the shirt?

[gasps] Does he still
have the cake?

Cody, if you get me tickets,
I'll love you forever!

Forever?

That's a long time.

- Consider it done.
- Get back!

International superstar
coming through!

- Who is it? Who is it?
- [screaming]

Right.

Miss Montana, it is my pleasure
to welcome you...

- I said get back!
- Ow! Don't touch me!

- Kirby!
- Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Moseby.

You're so little, I mistook
you for one of those teens.

- [scoffs]
- I was just protecting Hannah.

[screaming]

Protect me! Now!

- Where's Cody?
- Down here.

Did you see Hannah?

No. I'd like to see
a chiropractor.

Ow, ow, ow, ow!

-
Oh ay oh

-
Oh ay oh

-
Oh ay oh

-
Oh ay oh
-
Rockin'
the whole world round

-
Hey, ho

- So, what do you recommend?
- Me, with whipped cream. [laughs]

Thanks, but I'm nauseous from
the whole boat-rocking thing.

Zack, do you think messing with a
man's botanical rinse is funny?

I think any man who uses
a botanical rinse is funny.

[both laughing]

Sorry.

Great. Now I have to go
wash, rinse and repeat.

And repeat. And repeat.

I've seen you around.
I'm Zack.

And I'm being hauled away.

- Did you do that to his hair?
- No, I'm being good, remember?

Finish your science homework?

I said I was being good,
not boring. That's your job.

You know what your job is gonna
be. "Thank you, enjoy the movie.

Thank you,
enjoy the movie."

Wow.

Your brother thinks you'll end up
in a go-nowhere, minimum-wage job?

We have so much in common!

Don't we?

Wow! That suitcase
sure is roomy.

Yeah, it is.
Check this out.

Hello!

[echoing] Hello! Hello!

That's the same echo
I get from my closet back home!

It's so big,
it has its own congressman.

Really? Do you want it?

All it's gonna cost you is a lunch
with a charming, handsome young man.

Is he in there, too?

No. I was talking
about me.

Oh! Thank you, but I've already tried
one nut from your family tree.

Oh, no, no, no. Believe me,
I'm nothing like my brother.

He thinks he's so cool because he wears
clean clothes and showers every day.

And that's why the cat
won't lick you.

Even when you're
covered in chicken liver.

[screaming]

No! You can't
meet Hannah Montana.

She's busy, uh,
writing a song.

[screaming]

Check that.
She's eating a salad.

[screaming]

Damn. Anything she does
causes a riot.

You know, when I agreed
to come on this teen cruise,

I thought it would
be fun, relaxing.

I just forget
about all the dang...

[girl] I got it! I got
a picture of Hannah Montana!

- ...teens!
- [screaming outside]

Yeah, what's the matter
with kids today?

- Get back!
- [Cody] Ow!

Hi, Kirby. I'm here
to see Hannah Montana.

You and everybody else
on this boat. But no can do.

It's my job to keep that Southern
belle from getting dinged.

I'm a close,
personal friend of hers.

That's what they all say.
Prove it.

Tell me something
about her no one else knows.

She loves knock-knock jokes.
You wanna see?

- Watch. Knock, knock.
- [Hannah] Who's there?

Okey-dokey.

Miss Montana, your friend Cody
is here to see you.

I don't know a Cody.
Here's a picture.

Uh, but I don't
want a picture.

[screaming]

I say we take off our wigs and go
out there and hit the wave pool.

Yeah. I'll just come in as
Hannah and I'll leave as Miley.

- That won't give away anything.
- Well, I'm going out there

because nobody
cares about Lola.

[screaming]

They care about Lola!

Morning, ladies.
Ah! Perfect!

Just what I need after the stress of
saving those dolphins from tuna nets.

Just get in.
Get in, get in.

- What are we getting in?
- Trouble, if you don't zip it.

I'm sick of Justin's attitude, so I put
a surprise in the hot tub for him.

[chuckles]

[gasps]

- [chuckles]
- [laughing]

Alex, that's classic! But you're
not supposed to use m...

Science? I learned
this in class.

Who knew school
would ever come in handy?

Oh, man,
Justin's gonna be so mad!

Look, his face is turning red,
his body's blue.

Stick a few stars on him, we can
fly him off the back of the boat.

- I'm not scared of Justin.
- Oh, my heavens!

When I find out who did this,
I will feed them to the sharks!

Except for their head,
so they can watch.

- Him, I'm scared of.
- Yep.

- I know who's gonna be shark bait.
- As do I.

- Alex! Alex?
- Zack! Zack?

- What?
- What?

This was Alex.
I know my sister.

This was Zack.
I know my hooligan.

- But...
- Look, this is getting us nowhere.

We can go out
and find who did this,

or we can stand here and argue
until we're blue in the face.

Might as well. I'm already blue
in the everywhere else.

[Justin] Alex!

[Moseby] Zack!

- Hi.
- Zack!

Is this your cabin?
Let's check it out.

Thank you.

- Wow.
- You like my place, huh?

Like it? I can't see it.

Ugh. And that stench
is making my eyes tear up.

Blink fast. It helps.

A-ha!

- Zack!
- I'll go get rid of him.

OK, you do that. I'm gonna hide.
Or, uh... tidy things up. Yeah.

Oh! That's disgusting.

- You.
- I didn't do it.

- Oh, yes, you did.
- I swear, I didn't.

By the way,
what is it that I didn't do?

- You put blue dye in the hot tub.
- Dye? Dye?

No, I've done soap bubbles, pudding,
tea bags, rubber foot, electric eels,

but no dye.
How could I have missed dye?

You didn't. I found this
right outside your door.

I knew it was you!

- But that's not...
- Your butt is confined to this cabin!

Entertain yourself
with whatever's in this room.

I think
I can make that work.

[moaning]

London, I need you
to call Hannah Montana for me.

[gasps] Don't you
ever mention that name.

She refused to put the theme song to
Yay Me, Starring London Tipton

- on her next album.
- Why would you expect Hannah to...?

[gasps] Don't test me, boy. Look, I
told you never to say "Hannah Montana."

[gasps] I can't believe
I said it!

This is impossible.

Either I need a softer coconut
or a harder straw.

- Cody?
- Sorry.

I couldn't get Bailey tickets. I'm just
going to have to tell her the truth.

Or you can tell her aliens came down and
threatened to disintegrate the Earth

if you didn't give them your
tickets to see Hannah in Hawaii.

Something tells me that coconut
hit you on the head.

I'm trying to decide how to wear
my hair to the Hannah concert.

I could go with a funky up-do. Right?
Right? Or half-up, half-down.

That's kind of cool, right?
Or, or the whole funky rocker,

mosh-pit thing.
OK? Like this. Yeah?

Bailey? I know I kind of promised you I
could get you those tickets to Hannah.

I know! Can you believe my guy
is getting me tickets

- to a sold-out concert?
- "My guy?"

Yeah, unfortunately, there's been
an intergalactic incident, so...

Enough about
your stupid comics.

Bailey's trying to decide how she
should wear her hair to the concert,

- which her guy is taking her to.
- I know, I'll wear it down.

I got to find a great outfit to go with
my hair. I'll go check London's trash.

You were so home-free
with the alien thing.

Now what am I supposed to do?
Look to the heavens and plead,

"I want Hannah Montana tickets
in Hawaii!"

[man on PA] Want Hanna Montana
tickets to Hawaii?

Two tickets to Hannah Montana's
concert in Hawaii for the winner

of our teen cruise
scavenger hunt!

[screaming]

- Did you hear that?
- Darn right, I did!

I want a robot
that makes pancakes!

- OK, well, I'm gonna clear out, OK.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait!

You can't leave me.
I'll be in solitary confinement.

I'll be forced to dig an escape tunnel,
which would wind up sinking the boat.

You should just confess. You'll
feel so much better afterwards,

and maybe get out of your room
sooner. Like me, right now.

But I didn't do it!

I'd never
pull such a lame prank.

- What do you mean, lame?
- It had "amateur" written all over it.

Are you calling...
whoever did this an amateur?

That's it!

Lame? Amateur?
It was Cody!

He's getting back at me
for my brilliant hair prank.

Oh, yeah. Glue and a brush,
real brilliant.

But I need proof.
A witness.

Look, I'm gonna go back to the Sky Deck
and see if anybody saw who did this.

I'll go with you.
I'm a really good interrogator.

Oh, would you...?

Oh.

Hello, London.
I brought you a present.

Ooh!

Dirt?

With seeds. The baby flowers
will grow, just like our love.

You're odd. But you adore me,
and I like that. Have a seat.

OK, silver bell,
toy train, egg-timer...

What idiot puts a swordfish
on a scavenger hunt list?

[grunting]

OK, this scavenger hunt
is out of control!

Some kids just tried to take this
yellow barrette out of my hair.

Thank goodness
we have our tickets,

so we don't have to do anything
like this scavenger hunt.

Yeah. Phew.

But you should probably give us
that barrette, to keep it safe.

- Good idea, thanks.
- Yeah, and if you have a rutabaga,

- you should give us that, too.
- I might have one in my locker.

Then what are we standing here for?
We have a waxy vegetable to protect.

OK, you snoop around
the hot tub,

and I'll ask your brother
if he saw anything.

No! I'll go ask him, because
he's my brother and I love him.

...way too... Oh!

You say anything
about my p-r-a-n-k,

and I will
pound you so hard

that you'll be sneezing out
of your belly button.

That's gonna be very
awkward during allergy season.

Does this have anything to do
with whatever she was spelling?

London, I'm not allowed
to tell you,

but y-e-s.

Fine, don't tell me.

I found this test tube
outside of Zack's door.

This clearly proves that he is to blame.
And now he has escaped from his cabin.

Alex probably planted that
evidence. She's an evil genius.

She's an evil genius?
No, Zack is an evil...

Well, he's not a genius.
More of an evil nincompoop.

Oh! I'm sorry, ma'am! I swear
I didn't see anything. Ow!

Look, I didn't even want
to see anything! Ow!

OK, we have the rutabaga.

Now all I need to win those
tickets, and Bailey's heart,

- is a silver chalice.
- Good luck finding that.

Oh, yeah, you better run!

[both] How could you?
My own brother!

[both] What?

Do they always talk
at the same time like that?

- Freaky, isn't it?
- How could you frame me?

I don't know what you're talking
about, but I need a silver chalice

- before...
- [PA] Attention Hannah fannahs!

The scavenger hunt is now over,
and we have a winner!

No!

- You!
- You!

This is the miscreant
who turned you blue.

No, it's not. It was her!

Uh, Justin, Mr. Moseby is our
host on this lovely cruise

and you insult him by arguing
with him. Come, brother.

Hey, wait a minute.

I recognize those word-twisting
manipulations, followed by a hasty exit.

- It was you!
- Sure. Blame me.

Because it was you.

Looks like I caught you
blue-handed.

I told you!

You played me
like a violin!

You're sneaky, deceitful,
underhanded.

Where have you been
all my life?

I'll tell you where she's gonna be.
Grounded while we're in Hawaii.

Who's got the blues now?

Blue-hoo.

Look at this.
Is this the time?

Oh-ho-ho!

Mr. Moseby, isn't there something
that you'd like to say to me?

Maybe something that rhymes
with, "I'm florry."

First off, let me say that you
are incredibly "flannoying."

But I am sorry that I accused you
of putting dye in the hot tub.

However, in the process, you
confessed to six unsolved pranks.

You are so in trouble.

Apology accepted.

OK.

Cody, isn't Hawaii the most
beautiful thing you've ever seen?

The second most beautiful.

Bailey,
I need to talk to you.

First, help me pick which greeting
to use when I meet Hannah Montana.

I could go country: [Southern
accent] "Howdy, Hannah!"

Or sophisticated: [English accent]
"How do you do, Miss Montana?"

Or Japanese:
[speaks Japanese]

They're all great. Except for the
fact that we don't have tickets.

I'm sorry, what? It sounded like
you said we don't have tickets.

Look, I'm really sorry, Bailey. I tried
everything to get those tickets for you.

I thought you knew Hannah!

She didn't remember me. London couldn't
help. I tried to win the scavenger hunt.

Here's your barrette back. Then Zack
accused me of framing him and...

Oh!

- What was that for?
- To get you to stop babbling.

I need
to babble more often.

And because no one's ever gone
though so much trouble for me.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Hey, guys.
Want a bite of birthday cake?

- Whose birthday?
- I don't know. Some guy.

Whenever I hear singing,
I just go in the room.

[man] Dude! Isn't that Hannah Montana
sunbathing on the portside deck?

[screaming]

Hurry! I hear she's, like,
totally signing autographs!

I am so
over this teen cruise.

My cake!

Maybe there's still
some left at the party.

Thank you, Mr. Moseby. Thanks
for clearing out the lobby.

Absolutely.
Enjoy the starboard deck.

- Where they have the pool?
- And rock-climbing wall?

- And the parasailing?
- Oh, yes. It's a month of fun.

Unfortunately, you have
five minutes until they realize

you're not on the port deck and start
hunting you down like angry fire ants.

[squeaking]
"Hannah, Hannah, Hannah."

Enjoy.

You're, you're, you're...
[speaking Japanese]

[mumbling]

Bless you.
Hey, now I remember you.

- I ate cake off you.
- No, that was my twin brother.

I was the cute one
standing next to him.

Oh. And you kept the shirt.
My fans are awesome.

Yeah, you're telling me.

Remember the one who sent you
a corn-cob carving of yourself?

[gasps] You got it?

Yeah, and I loved it!

So you guys coming
to my show tonight?

We'd love to,
but it was all sold out.

You wouldn't happen to know anyone
who could get us tickets, would you?

Oh, I think
I can pull some strings.

Here's the tickets
and backstage passes.

Wait, I'm sorry. That's my coupon. One
more stamp and I get a free cupcake.

Thank you, thank you!
[speaks Japanese]

Yeah, I gotta go, too.

Cody, this is gonna
be the best date ever.

- Date?
- Oh, yeah.

Excuse me a second.

[Cody] Yes!
My six-month plan worked!

London? I've had so much fun
with you these last few days.

And there's just one more thing
that I need to ask you.

You're not gonna ask me
to marry you, are you?

No. No. I was gonna ask
if you wanted a shoe shine.

Oh. Then, yes.

You know, Max, no man has ever
treated me as well as you do.

He's not a man,
he's a child!

Well, for now.

So you'll wait
for me, then?

I can't promise that.

But five years from now,
when we're in the same grade,

you can sit next to me.

Yes!

I am never gonna
wash this cheek again.

But, uh, if I were you,
I'd wash those hands.

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