All language subtitles for The Suite Life on Deck s01e18 Splash & Trash.eng

CODY, YOU'RE SMART. I HAVE A
QUESTION ABOUT OUTER SPACE.

IT'S UP THERE.

SO WHAT ARE THEY WEARING
IN SPACE THIS SEASON?

WELL, SINCE SPACE
IS -270?,

THEY TEND TO GO WITH A
NEOPRENE-COATED NYLON COMBINATION

OF GORE-TEX,
KEVLAR AND NOMEX.

DOES THAT COME
IN A SKIRT?

SURE, IF YOU DON'T
MIND EXPLODING.

WHY THE SUDDEN
INTEREST IN SPACE?

DADDY'S HAVING THE GRAND OPENING
OF HIS NEW SPACE STATION

AND HE'S MAKING ME GO. THERE'S
NOT EVEN A RED CARPET.

JUST THIS TUBE.

- YOU'RE GOING TO TIPTON 1?
- MM-HMM.

GOING INTO SPACE HAS ALWAYS
BEEN MY LIFE'S DREAM.

I THOUGHT YOUR DREAM WAS MAKING
THE WORLD'S BIGGEST CREME BRULEE.

THAT'S MY BAKING DREAM.
THIS IS MY SCIENTIFIC DREAM.

YOU KNOW, DADDY DID SAY
I COULD BRING A FRIEND.

LONDON, IT WOULD BE
AN HONOR TO ACCOMPANY YOU

INTO THE VAST UNKNOWN.

WAIT, I WANNA GO
TO THE VAST UNKNOWN TOO.

I WANNA EAT SPACE FOOD.

IT'S JUST FREEZE-DRIED
REGULAR FOOD.

FREEZE-DRIED?
COOL. TAKE ME.

NO, TAKE ME. WE'VE BEEN
FRIENDS FOR YEARS.

I'VE HELPED YOU THROUGH
SCHOOLWORK, BOYFRIEND TROUBLES.

I LET YOU DRESS ME UP
LIKE A GIRL ON YOUR WEBISODE.

WE PLAYED CHECKERS YESTERDAY,
AND I LET YOU WIN.

- GOOD POINT.
- THAT'S A TERRIBLE POINT.

ANOTHER GOOD POINT.

I KNOW. YOU TWO CAN
COMPETE TO SEE WHO'LL GO.

AND THEN I CAN
ANNOUNCE IT TO THE MEDIA.

LONDON TIPTON TAKES A POOR
PATHETIC ORPHAN INTO SPACE.

- LONDON.
- HUH?

WE'RE NOT ORPHANS.

WELL, IN THAT CASE, MAYBE
I SHOULD TAKE MY MAID.

I HEARD THERE'S A VACUUM IN
SPACE, AND I'M NOT TOUCHING THAT.

- ( pop music playing )
-
OH-AY-OH!

-
OH-AY-OH!

-
OH-AY-OH!
-
AIN'T
NO STOPPING US NOW

-
OH-AY-OH!

-
OH-AY-OH!
-
ROCKIN'
THE WHOLE WORLD 'ROUND

ALL RIGHT, SENIORS,
READY TO PARTY?

OH, MY GOSH.

THEY'RE ALL DEAD.

NO!

WE'RE JUST WAITING
FOR CONNIE.

WHEW!

YEAH, I'M FILLING IN
FOR CONNIE.

OH, HER BOYFRIEND
DUMP HER AGAIN?

UM... YEAH.

GOOD.
HE WAS A LOSER.

RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY,
SO I'M IN CHARGE

OF YOUR
FUN-TERTAINMENT.

WELL, CUT THE CHATTER
AND LET'S JAZZERCISE.

- OH-HO-HO!
- LET'S NOT AND SAY WE DID.

THEY BUST A MOVE,
THEY'LL BUST A HIP.

SORRY, THAT'S NOT TILL 2:30.
( laughs )

( growls )

OKAY, FOR THE FIRST PART
OF THE COMPETITION,

YOU MUST PASS THIS
SCIENTIFICAL TEST.

I HATE TESTS!

THEY MAKE ME SWEAT.

YOU CAN'T TAKE HIM
TO SPACE.

HE'LL FILL HIS SPACESUIT
UP WITH SWEAT AND DROWN.

BOYS, BOYS,
LET'S FOCUS ON THE TEST.

"IF YOU'RE TRAVELING THROUGH
SPACE IN A PINK ROCKET

AND YOU PASS
SANTA'S SLEIGH,

WHO WILL GET
TO THE MOON FIRST?"

THESE QUESTIONS
ARE RIDICULOUS.

OOH, I KNOW!

SANTA, BECAUSE HE CAN TRAVEL
THE WHOLE WORLD IN ONE NIGHT.

( gasps )

CORRECT!

YOU BETTER PUT ON
YOUR THINKING SOCK, CODY.

I'M NOT WORRIED.

I'VE NEVER GOTTEN LOWER THAN AN
A-MINUS ON A TEST CODY, F-MINUS.

BUT I CONDENSED STRING
THEORY INTO A MERE 12 PAGES.

WOODY JUST WROTE
"LONDON IS GREAT."

EXACTLY.

WHILE STRING THEORY
IS STILL CONTROVERSIAL,

EVERYONE AGREES
THAT I'M GREAT!

SO YOU JUST WANT
A YES-MAN IN SPACE?

NO, I DO NOT
WANT A YES-MAN.

- ISN'T THAT RIGHT, WOODY?
- YES, MA'AM.

( bones crack )

ANY TIME NOW,
MRS. PEPPERMAN.

DON'T RUSH ME.

OKAY, OKAY,
JUST REMEMBER,

WE DOCK IN THE BAHAMAS
IN THREE DAYS.

- OW!
- Tourists: OOH!

DID I WIN?

NO!

THAT WAS THE WORST SHOT
I'VE EVER SEEN.

- YOU THINK YOU CAN DO BETTER?
- IS THAT A CHALLENGE?

UNLESS YOU WANNA
WIMP OUT, PRETTY BOY.

YOU'RE ON!

( Cody gasps )

YEAH, YEAH!

HA HA HA!
OH, YEAH! OH, YEAH!

HEY, MR. BARKER, CARE FOR
A GAME OF SHUFFLEBOARD?

I'D RATHER PASS
ANOTHER KIDNEY STONE.

WELL, IF IT LANDS
ON THE 10, YOU WIN.

ISN'T THERE ANYTHING
I CAN DO TO CHEER YOU UP?

YOU CAN GET A TIME MACHINE
SO I CAN GO BACK

WHEN I HAD TWO GOOD HIPS,

THE BLOOD REACHED MY FEET

AND CAME ALL THE WAY
BACK UP AGAIN.

FORGET ABOUT HIM.
HE'S A STICK IN THE MUD.

AND YOU'RE A PAIN
IN THE--

MUD.

OKAY, LET'S THROW DOWN.

-( shrieks )
- IT'S GO TIME!

- HEY, YOU TWO, NO FIGHTING.
- WHO'S FIGHTING?

I'VE GOTTA GO
TO THE MEN'S ROOM.

I'LL BE BACK
IN FIVE

TO 45 MINUTES.

DON'T HURRY.

COME ON, WOODY.
LIGHT'S OUT.

WE HAVE OUR BIG
ENDURANCE TEST TOMORROW.

OKAY, OKAY.

( sniffs )

OH, YOU REEK!

WHAT DID YOU HAVE
FOR DINNER?

JUST A GARLIC AND ONION
SARDINE SANDWICH

WITH A LIMBURGER CHEESE
TART FOR DESSERT.

THE STENCH IS SO BAD

I THINK I'M LOSING SIGHT
IN MY RIGHT EYE.

I'LL NEVER GET TO SLEEP WITH
THE ROOM SMELLING LIKE THIS.

THEN I WON'T DO WELL IN
THE COMPETITION TOMORROW.

REALLY?

I DIDN'T THINK OF THAT.

( exhales )
HAVE A NICE NIGHT.

AND THERE GOES
THE LEFT EYE.

WHAT'S THE MATTER
WITH YOU?

I'M EXHAUSTED.

AND I HAD TO SLEEP
IN A LIFE RAFT

THANKS TO THAT
GASBAG WOODY.

MEANWHILE, I HAVE ANOTHER ONE
OF LONDON'S SPACE TESTS

IN 10 MINUTES,
AND WOODY MADE SURE

I WOULDN'T BE READY
FOR IT.

I'VE GOT JUST THE THING
TO PERK YOU UP:

SOME COCONUT MILK,

A LITTLE VANILLA,

SOME PROTEIN POWDER

AND A SPRIG--

JUST A SPRIG--
OF FRESH MINT.

( whirring )

YOU SURE
THAT'LL WAKE ME UP?

DEFINITELY.

WOW, REFRESHING.

TIME FOR
THE ATHLETICAL CHALLENGE:

THE GREAT SPACE RACE.

A LITTLE NERVOUS?

I CAN SEE
YOU'RE SWEATING ALREADY.

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT, YOU HAVE TO GRAB A
GOLD BAR, RUN AROUND THE PLANETS,

THROUGH THE BLACK HOLE
AND UP TO THE ALIEN.

( claps )

LONDON, WHAT EXACTLY IS
THE PURPOSE OF THIS TEST?

NOTHING. IT JUST AMUSES
ME TO SEE YOU DO IT.

OKAY, ON YOUR MARKS,

GET SET,

GO!

I SAID GO!

YOU KNOW, THIS ISN'T
A SLEEPING RACE.

I WIN! I WIN!

HIGH THREE!

THAT'S IT.
NO MORE MR. NICE GUY.

WHAT WAS THAT FOR?

WE'RE HAVING
A "TWOFER" ONE SPECIAL.

ALL RIGHT,
MRS. PEPPERMAN,

I SEE YOUR TWO SUGARLESS
BUTTERSCOTCH CANDIES,

AND I'LL RAISE YOU
ONE GLUTEN-FREE COOKIE.

CALL!

HERE'S SOMETHING YOU DO
SEVEN TIMES A NIGHT:

FLUSH!

COME TO PAPA!

EW! WHO BET
THEIR TEETH?

ALL RIGHT, UP NEXT
ON OUR SCHEDULE

IS A JOG
AROUND THE SKY DECK.

CONNIE'S ALLOTTED
EIGHT HOURS FOR THAT.

YOU WANT THEM TO MOVE FAST, JUST
TELL THEM THE EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

IS OVER IN FIVE MINUTES.

THE EARLY BIRD SPECIAL
IS OVER IN FIVE MINUTES?

NO, NO, NO, FALSE ALARM.

WOULD YOU STOP?

YOU KNOW, WHY DON'T YOU TRY
PARTICIPATING IN SOMETHING?

BECAUSE IT'S BORING.

AND SO ARE THEY.

SHH! SOME OF THESE
PEOPLE CAN HEAR YOU.

I DOUBT THAT!

JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE
MISERABLE DOESN'T MEAN

- YOU GOTTA MAKE EVERYONE ELSE AROUND
YOU MISERABLE. - YOU TELL HIM!

AND YOU KNOW WHAT? NO WONDER YOUR
FAMILY PUT YOU ON THIS BOAT.

IT'S NOT
A VACATION FOR YOU.

IT'S A VACATION
FOR THEM.

NOW HIT HIM.
HIT HIM!

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
I AM LEAVING!

YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO
BE SO MEAN.

MAN, THANKS FOR THAT
12-CHEESE PIZZA, CODY.

MMM!

IT WAS EVEN BETTER THAN
THAT CHOPPED LIVER HOAGIE.

NOW TRY
MY FRESH-BAKED BEIGNET.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS, BUT IT'S
GOT CREAM COMING OUT OF THE SIDE.

HEY, BOYS, YOU GUYS READY FOR
THE MOTION SICKNESS TEST?

THE WHAT?

DIDN'T CODY TELL YOU?

I CALLED YOUR CABIN TO SAY
WE'RE STARTING AT 11:00.

OH!

I MUST'VE FORGOTTEN.

OKAY...

FIRE UP THE WHIRLY
THINGAMAJIG !

( belches )
UH-OH!

COME ON,
YOU FIRST, WOODY.

YOU KNOW, LONDON, I'M
NOT FEELING THAT GREAT.

AND I'M NOT CARING.
INTO THE SPINNY BALL.

THIS MACHINE WILL SEE
HOW YOU HANDLE

TUMBLING UNCONTROLLABLY
THROUGH SPACE,

WHICH MIGHT HAPPEN BECAUSE DADDY
BUILT THE STATION ON THE CHEAP.

OKAY, YOU'RE LEAVING
EARTH'S ATMOSPHERE,

GOING THROUGH
AN ASTEROID BELT.

NOW GOING THROUGH
THE MAGIC ASTEROID PURSE.

AND NOW YOU'RE SPINNING
LIKE A DREIDEL AT HANUKKAH.

L'CHAIM!

( moaning, groaning )

BY THE WAY, WOODY, DON'T
THINK ABOUT ALL THAT CHEESE

AND CHOPPED LIVER
YOU JUST ATE.

- I THINK HE'S GONNA BLOW!
- DON'T WORRY. I GOT IT COVERED.

( moaning louder )

- ( gasping, vomiting )
- HE'S LIKE A SPRINKLER.

- ( knocks on door )
- Mr. Barker: GO AWAY!

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHO IT IS.

WHO IS IT?

IT'S ZACK.

OH, ZACK.
GO AWAY!

OH, WAIT. WHO LEFT THIS
UNGUARDED MAID'S CART OUT HERE

WITH ALL THESE SOAPS
AND PILLOW MINTS?

FREE STUFF?
WHERE, WHERE?

OH! I CAN'T BELIEVE
I FELL FOR THAT.

WAIT. WHOA WHOA.
WAIT. STOP. STOP.

I WANNA APOLOGIZE
ABOUT YESTERDAY.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE
SO HARSH WITH YOU,

AND I HOPE I DIDN'T
HURT YOUR FEELINGS.

YOU THINK I'M
A LITTLE GIRL?

COME ON, KID,
YOU CAN'T HURT ME.

I'M AN OLD BUSH PILOT.

ONCE I CRASHED
IN THE ALASKAN WILDERNESS

AND LIVED WITH THE WOLVES
FOR A MONTH.

BY THE TIME
I GOT RESCUED,

I WAS THE LEADER
OF THE PACK.

COOL. I MEAN, WAS IT
HARD TO ADJUST BACK?

NO, BUT I DID LEARN

HOW TO SCRATCH MY EAR
WITH MY FOOT.

WELL, LOOK,

I CAN'T DUPLICATE THE THRILL
OF RUNNING WITH THE WOLVES,

BUT THEY ARE A LOT OF FUN
THINGS TO DO ON A CRUISE.

NOT WHEN THE ONLY THING
YOU CAN DO

IS SIT IN THE CHAIR.

WELL, IT DEPENDS
ON THE CHAIR.

HMM?

HEY, IT STILL FITS.

SEE? I TOLD YOU
SITTING CAN BE EXCITING.

LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

WHEEE!

IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?
COME ON, YOU LITTLE WIMP.

MY ROCKING CHAIR CAN
GO FASTER THAN THIS.

ALL RIGHT,
YOU ASKED FOR IT.

( shouts )

WHOA...

SEE, MR. BARKER, I TOLD
YOU SITTING CAN BE FUN.

MR. BARKER?
MR. BARKER!

MR. BARKER,
ARE YOU OKAY?

PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE NAPPING.
YOU PEOPLE DO THAT, RIGHT?

OH, NO, THIS IS NOT GONNA LOOK
GOOD ON THE MORNING REPORT.

- GOTCHA!
- ( screams )

WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT
YOU'D BE THE ONE

TO WET YOURSELF?

THAT WAS SO NOT FUNNY.

( laughing )

ALL RIGHT, IT WAS AWESOME, BUT I DIDN'T
THINK YOU WERE THE PRANKING TYPE.

OH, PLEASE,
IN MY YOUNGER YEARS,

THE PEOPLE USED TO
CALL ME "THE PRANK KING,"

ALSO "THAT JERK."

HEY, YOU AND I HAVE
THE SAME NICKNAME.

DID YOU EVER
MAKE A CALL

AND ASK FOR
"SEYMOUR BUTTS"?

YEAH, OF COURSE.

MINE.

YOU WERE
THE SEYMOUR BUTTS GUY?

ALSO "IS YOUR
REFRIGERATOR RUNNING?"

Both:
"YOU BETTER GO CATCH IT!"

I LIKE YOU, KID.

YOU'RE THE GRANDSON
I NEVER HAD.

YOU NEVER HAD
ANY GRANDSONS?

I GOT FIVE,

BUT I JUST
DON'T LIKE 'EM.

OKAY, AND NOW IT'S TIME
FOR THE SPEECH CONTEST.

- CODY, YOU'RE FIRST.
- ( clears throat )

"GOOD EVENING,
LADY AND SIR VOMIT.

THERE ARE
COMPELLING REASONS

WHY I SHOULD ACCOMPANY
LONDON INTO SPACE.

FIRST, I WILL USE A LASER TO CARVE
YOUR BEAUTIFUL FACE INTO THE MOON."

OOH, THEN ONCE A MONTH,

THERE'D BE A FULL ME.

WHERE YOU GONNA GET A LASER
BIG ENOUGH TO DO THAT?

MAYBE FROM SANTA.

"I WILL ALSO RESIZE
THE RINGS OF SATURN

- TO MAKE JEWELRY FOR YOU,
- ( gasps )

AND WHEN WE'RE
ON JUPITER,

WHERE YOU WEIGH
31,000 LBS.,

I'LL STILL TELL YOU
YOU LOOK THIN."

WELL THOUGHT OUT,

AND I UNDERSTOOD ALMOST EVERY WORD.
GOOD JOB, CODY.

WOODY, YOUR TURN.

WELL, NOW IT'S TIME
FOR THE WINNING SPEECH.

"LONDON, YOU NEED ME AT
YOUR SIDE AT THE LAUNCH

BECAUSE WHEN THE CAMERAS FLASH,
MY HANDSOME FACE

WILL DISTRACT PEOPLE
FROM YOUR HIDEOUS OUTFIT."

HUH?

EXCUSE YOU!

- THOSE AREN'T MY WORDS.
- WELL, YOU SAID THEM.

SO YOU MUST HAVE
MEANT THEM.

LET ME SEE THE REST
OF THAT SPEECH.

BLACK HOLES ARE
BRIGHTER THAN ME?

I SWEAR I DIDN'T
WRITE THAT.

BUT THERE ARE BARBECUE
STAINS ALL OVER IT.

I'M BEING FRAMED.

TELL IT TO SOMEONE WHO'S NOT
"STUPIDER THAN JUPITER."

- THAT'S FUNNY.
- ( gasps )

NO, WAIT!

( sighing )

YOU! YOU GOT
INTO MY COMPUTER

AND CHANGED MY SPEECH!

YEAH.
BY THE WAY,

"WOODY" IS NOT
A GOOD PASSWORD.

( snoring )

AND IF YOU LOOK OFF
TO THE PORT

YOU GUYS CAN SEE
SOME WHALES BREACHING.

OH!

I DON'T SEE
ANY WHALES.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

ARE YOU TWO RESPONSIBLE
FOR THIS?

UH-UH.

LET'S GO GET 'EM.

- Mr. Barker: LET'S RUN!
- NO, WHY DON'T WE JUST WALK REALLY FAST?

( laughing )

OH, I THINK WE LOST 'EM
ON THE LIDO DECK.

GOOD THINKING DROPPING
THAT COUPON FOR CAT FOOD.

I'LL BET THEY'RE STILL
WRESTLING OVER IT.

YOU KNOW, THIS IS
THE MOST FUN I'VE HAD

SINCE I FOUGHT OFF
A HIPPO

WITH A BEEHIVE
ON A STICK.

WELL, HEY, NO ONE DOES
FUN-TERTAINMENT LIKE ME.

WELL, THE CRUISE
IS OVER IN TWO DAYS.

THEN IT'S BACK
TO THE RETIREMENT HOME

AND ALL THE MUSH
I CAN EAT.

COME ON, I MEAN, YOU STILL GOT
A LOT OF LIFE LEFT IN YOU.

I APPRECIATE YOU
TRYING TO HELP ME, KID.

BUT IT'S GONNA TAKE MORE THAN
A COUPLE OF GREAT PRANKS

TO BRING THE ADVENTURE
BACK TO MY LIFE.

THERE THEY ARE,
I THINK.

I'M WEARING
MY READING GLASSES.

( high-pitched )
THEY WENT THAT WAY.

OH, THANK YOU,
LITTLE GIRL.

COME ON, AFTER 'EM.

( dramatic music
playing )

( camera shutter
clicking )

ATTENTION,
PEOPLE OF EARTH.

THE PERSON I HAVE CHOSEN
TO TAKE WITH ME

TO THE TIPTON
SPACE STATION

IS AN AMAZING GUY.

- HE'S INTELLIGENT...
- ME.

- ...FUN-LOVING...
- ME.

...AND CUTE
AS A BUTTON.

Both: ME!

I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE

ALBERT BARKER!

Both: HIM?

SORRY, BOYS, BUT THIS IS
A MUCH BETTER PHOTO OP,

AND HE'S A REAL ORPHAN.

YOU KNOW, FOR AN OLD
BUSH PILOT LIKE ME,

THIS IS
THE ULTIMATE ADVENTURE.

MY HEART

JUST KEEPS RACING.

I'M UP TO SEVEN BEATS
A MINUTE!

FIRST, I'D LIKE
TO THANK LONDON TIPTON,

A GREAT GIRL
AND A HECK OF A DRESSER,

AND MY YOUNG FRIEND ZACK
FOR SETTING THIS UP

AND FOR REMINDING ME THAT
YOU'RE NEVER TOO OLD

TO HAVE A DREAM.

( applause )

I GUESS NEITHER OF US
REALLY DESERVE TO GO.

YEAH, WE LET THE COMPETITION
GET THE BEST OF US.

LOOK, I'M SORRY FOR FEEDING
YOU ALL THAT GREASY FOOD

AND REWRITING
YOUR SPEECH.

AND I'M SORRY FOR EATING
ALL THAT STINKY FOOD

AND PUTTING ITCHING POWDER
IN YOUR UNDERWEAR.

WHAT ITCHING POWDER?

NEVER MIND.

CHECK IT OUT. I'M MORE
RADIANT THAN THAT STAR.

BIG DEAL!
I'M OLDER THAN THAT STAR.

HEY, I CAN SEE
MY HOUSE FROM HERE.

YOU CAN'T POSSIBLY--

WOW!

THAT'S A BIG HOUSE.

ALL RIGHTY, WELL, LET'S GO
BACK TO THE SPACE STATION.

SURE, HAVE YOU
GOT THE KEYS?

I THOUGHT YOU HAD 'EM.

Both: UH-OH!

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