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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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♪ One, two, three, four ♪
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♪ one, two, three, four, five, six ♪
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♪ shake it, dude ♪
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♪ one, two, do it ♪
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♪ ♪
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♪ one, two, three ♪
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♪ four, four ♪
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♪ ♪
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♪ shut the door, you wanna look tough ♪
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♪ shut the door, wanna play hard ♪
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Did you see that?
12
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- Kind of hard to miss.
- So gross.
13
00:00:49,875 --> 00:00:52,374
I think it's cool.
14
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I can't believe you're
actually doing this... for him.
15
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- It's not for him.
- I mean,
16
00:00:56,407 --> 00:00:57,839
just because he's your boyfriend
doesn't mean you have to...
17
00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:01,705
He's not my boyfriend.
I don't do boyfriends.
18
00:01:01,706 --> 00:01:03,405
Besides, half the kids in school
19
00:01:03,406 --> 00:01:04,904
have their noses or their ears pierced.
20
00:01:04,905 --> 00:01:06,970
Erica Jacobson even has
her belly button pierced.
21
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Erica Jacobson is a whore.
A... and it's dangerous.
22
00:01:10,738 --> 00:01:12,802
This girl in Texas, her
boyfriend went to kiss her,
23
00:01:12,803 --> 00:01:14,435
his braces got caught
in her tongue ring,
24
00:01:14,436 --> 00:01:15,769
ripped it clear out of her mouth.
25
00:01:15,770 --> 00:01:17,235
Things like that always happen in Texas.
26
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What about that guy with
the stud in his nostril, hmm?
27
00:01:19,303 --> 00:01:21,234
Gangrene set in. He had to
have his entire nose amputated.
28
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Urban legend.
29
00:01:22,669 --> 00:01:25,268
Who's next?
30
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Take off your shirt, honey.
31
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So which one do you want, right or left?
32
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I don't know.
33
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You know, most guys like right.
34
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Okay.
35
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:42,064
♪ Hey hey hey hey hey hey ♪
36
00:01:42,065 --> 00:01:43,930
♪ hey hey ♪
37
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Excuse me, is... is this going to hurt?
38
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Of course.
39
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- Are you ready?
- Mm-hmm.
40
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♪ Hey hey hey hey ♪
41
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♪ hey hey hey hey hey ♪
42
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Ow!
43
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♪ Hey hey hey hey hey ♪
44
00:02:04,661 --> 00:02:09,093
♪ ♪
45
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[Dance music]
46
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Notice that practically every
guy in here's been cruising us?
47
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I should've warned you. The... clientele
48
00:02:23,157 --> 00:02:25,723
doesn't exactly come here
for the five-star cuisine.
49
00:02:25,724 --> 00:02:27,822
Everybody's always wishing
they had a boyfriend.
50
00:02:27,823 --> 00:02:30,089
We all picture how he'd
look, how he'd sound,
51
00:02:30,090 --> 00:02:32,188
how nice it'd be to have
someone to share your life,
52
00:02:32,189 --> 00:02:34,121
your dreams, your dental floss.
53
00:02:34,122 --> 00:02:35,954
A little disconcerting
when you're trying to eat.
54
00:02:35,955 --> 00:02:37,320
So how come so few of us have one?
55
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That's because we're lying.
56
00:02:38,754 --> 00:02:40,153
Most of us couldn't
commit to a houseplant.
57
00:02:40,154 --> 00:02:42,319
How are we supposed to
commit to having a boyfriend?
58
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You should see what it's
like when Brian comes here.
59
00:02:47,653 --> 00:02:49,684
I'm so sorry, I promised I
would not mention his name
60
00:02:49,685 --> 00:02:53,217
- for ten minutes.
- I'd settle for five.
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And you've got to
stop smiling like that.
62
00:02:55,818 --> 00:02:57,283
- Like what?
- Like that.
63
00:02:57,284 --> 00:02:58,817
It makes me want to
come across the table
64
00:02:58,818 --> 00:03:00,849
and eat you like a dessert.
65
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Would you like some whipped
cream with that, sir?
66
00:03:03,950 --> 00:03:05,681
I'd stay away from that onion, honey,
67
00:03:05,682 --> 00:03:07,849
especially if you two are
planning on going at it all night.
68
00:03:07,850 --> 00:03:09,181
Ma, what are you doing here?
69
00:03:09,182 --> 00:03:10,082
Trying to pay my bills.
70
00:03:10,083 --> 00:03:12,981
You got a problem with that?
71
00:03:12,982 --> 00:03:16,580
- This is... this is your, uh...
- Mother.
72
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I'm Debbie, and you're...
73
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Goddamn gorgeous is what you are.
74
00:03:20,813 --> 00:03:21,945
Ma, this is David. And I...
75
00:03:21,946 --> 00:03:24,045
I thought tonight was your night off.
76
00:03:24,046 --> 00:03:25,612
Oh, yeah, Lorraine got food poisoning.
77
00:03:25,613 --> 00:03:28,144
I think it was the shish kabob. [Laughs]
78
00:03:28,145 --> 00:03:30,244
I'm just kidding.
79
00:03:30,245 --> 00:03:32,943
Okay, got to get cranking.
80
00:03:32,944 --> 00:03:34,876
Got a lot of hungry boys to feed.
81
00:03:34,877 --> 00:03:38,509
Jesus, my back is killing me.
82
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:40,176
Hey.
83
00:03:40,177 --> 00:03:42,709
If you lift from your knees,
84
00:03:42,710 --> 00:03:44,208
takes the pressure off your back.
85
00:03:44,209 --> 00:03:47,807
- You feel that?
- Yeah, I'll remember that.
86
00:03:47,808 --> 00:03:51,773
- You're an angel.
- No, I'm a chiropractor.
87
00:03:51,774 --> 00:03:52,741
You're a doctor?
88
00:03:52,742 --> 00:03:55,906
- Yeah.
- You're dating a doctor?
89
00:03:55,907 --> 00:03:58,505
How long were you planning
on hiding him from me?
90
00:03:58,506 --> 00:03:59,905
As long as I could.
91
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:02,171
You're coming for dinner tomorrow night.
92
00:04:02,172 --> 00:04:03,671
- He can't.
- I can't?
93
00:04:03,672 --> 00:04:05,604
You got plans. He's got
plans. He's very busy.
94
00:04:05,605 --> 00:04:07,470
- Debbie, I'd love to.
- Good for you.
95
00:04:07,471 --> 00:04:09,604
- I'll see you there, 7:30.
- Okay.
96
00:04:09,605 --> 00:04:12,003
[Chuckles]
97
00:04:12,004 --> 00:04:15,802
Craig?
98
00:04:15,803 --> 00:04:18,803
Aren't you going to say anything?
99
00:04:21,236 --> 00:04:22,801
Justin's not gay.
100
00:04:22,802 --> 00:04:25,601
Those nude drawings you found,
101
00:04:25,602 --> 00:04:27,666
they're probably just an
assignment for art class.
102
00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:29,866
And the underwear, I'm sure
he just bought it for himself.
103
00:04:29,867 --> 00:04:31,600
It's not his size.
104
00:04:31,601 --> 00:04:34,765
Still, that's no reason
to suspect that he's...
105
00:04:34,766 --> 00:04:36,864
- He told me himself.
- So what?
106
00:04:36,865 --> 00:04:40,764
That doesn't mean anything.
A lot of kids think that.
107
00:04:40,765 --> 00:04:42,930
They're confused, they're scared.
108
00:04:42,931 --> 00:04:44,897
He's not confused. He's not scared.
109
00:04:44,898 --> 00:04:47,430
He knows.
110
00:04:47,431 --> 00:04:48,629
The same way we've always known.
111
00:04:48,630 --> 00:04:50,929
No, no, I have not always known.
112
00:04:50,930 --> 00:04:54,162
- At least suspected.
- No, you've suspected.
113
00:04:54,163 --> 00:04:55,928
He's not gay. He's...
114
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:57,794
What, sensitive?
115
00:04:57,795 --> 00:04:59,760
Different? Artistic?
116
00:04:59,761 --> 00:05:00,961
He's his own person.
117
00:05:00,962 --> 00:05:02,760
You know, not every
kid is the quarterback
118
00:05:02,761 --> 00:05:03,859
on the football team.
119
00:05:03,860 --> 00:05:05,626
I think you better talk to him.
120
00:05:05,627 --> 00:05:08,459
[Chuckles] And say what?
121
00:05:08,460 --> 00:05:10,159
"Your mother thinks
you're a homosexual"?
122
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:11,992
Before he gets himself into trouble.
123
00:05:11,993 --> 00:05:14,958
Before he exposes
himself to God knows what.
124
00:05:14,959 --> 00:05:16,158
If he hasn't already.
125
00:05:16,159 --> 00:05:19,756
Wait.
126
00:05:19,757 --> 00:05:21,090
You're saying he's doing things?
127
00:05:21,091 --> 00:05:24,755
He's... 17.
128
00:05:24,756 --> 00:05:26,422
How naive can you be?
129
00:05:26,423 --> 00:05:27,689
So why didn't you tell me?
130
00:05:27,690 --> 00:05:30,455
I promised him I wouldn't.
131
00:05:30,456 --> 00:05:33,387
Oh, that's terrific.
132
00:05:33,388 --> 00:05:36,887
Don't I have a right to know
what's going on around here?
133
00:05:36,888 --> 00:05:40,086
- Hey, Justin!
- He's not here.
134
00:05:40,087 --> 00:05:42,752
He says he's going to
Daphne's, but I know he's not.
135
00:05:42,753 --> 00:05:45,952
So where is he?
136
00:05:45,953 --> 00:05:49,018
The other night, I
found him in a gay bar.
137
00:05:49,019 --> 00:05:50,718
I don't fucking believe this, Jen.
138
00:05:50,719 --> 00:05:54,550
- You let him go to these places?
- I had no idea.
139
00:05:54,551 --> 00:05:58,116
Well, I'm putting a
stop to this right now.
140
00:05:58,117 --> 00:06:00,749
There's more.
141
00:06:00,750 --> 00:06:03,748
He's seeing someone.
142
00:06:03,749 --> 00:06:07,548
So who is this kid?
I'll call his parents.
143
00:06:07,549 --> 00:06:10,881
He's not a kid. He's a man.
144
00:06:10,882 --> 00:06:14,480
His name is Brian Kinney.
145
00:06:17,380 --> 00:06:19,079
I say, if it walks like a boyfriend...
146
00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:20,478
Talks like a boyfriend...
147
00:06:20,479 --> 00:06:22,878
Both: Then it must be a boyfriend.
148
00:06:22,879 --> 00:06:24,744
Would you two please shut the fuck up?
149
00:06:24,745 --> 00:06:26,744
I think it's great that
Mikey's got a steady.
150
00:06:26,745 --> 00:06:29,677
He's not a steady. We went out twice.
151
00:06:29,678 --> 00:06:31,977
Around here, that's a
long-term relationship.
152
00:06:31,978 --> 00:06:33,876
Next thing you know,
you'll be exchanging rings.
153
00:06:33,877 --> 00:06:36,475
Mm, and then there'll be one
of those commitment ceremonies
154
00:06:36,476 --> 00:06:38,009
where, like, all 200 of the guests
155
00:06:38,010 --> 00:06:40,875
have slept with one, if not
both, of the happy couple.
156
00:06:40,876 --> 00:06:42,374
Just, um, promise me
157
00:06:42,375 --> 00:06:43,741
you won't wear matching white suits.
158
00:06:43,742 --> 00:06:46,574
There's no way that is
ever going to happen.
159
00:06:46,575 --> 00:06:50,307
Well, then I suggest you watch
out for the warning signs.
160
00:06:50,308 --> 00:06:51,539
What warning signs?
161
00:06:51,540 --> 00:06:53,006
Like when he brings you flowers.
162
00:06:53,007 --> 00:06:56,372
Or invites you away for a
romantic weekend in the country.
163
00:06:56,373 --> 00:07:00,004
Not that you'll see much
beside the bedroom ceiling.
164
00:07:00,005 --> 00:07:01,704
Your shot, Mikey.
165
00:07:01,705 --> 00:07:04,904
Oh, or the most telltale sign of all,
166
00:07:04,905 --> 00:07:06,604
when he meets your mother,
167
00:07:06,605 --> 00:07:09,837
and she invites him over for dinner.
168
00:07:11,637 --> 00:07:13,369
Something the matter?
169
00:07:13,370 --> 00:07:14,635
I lost my grip.
170
00:07:14,636 --> 00:07:16,535
Guess what I got today.
171
00:07:16,536 --> 00:07:18,734
A new bell for your bicycle?
172
00:07:18,735 --> 00:07:21,801
A nipple ring.
173
00:07:21,802 --> 00:07:23,567
Every piece of trash has something
174
00:07:23,568 --> 00:07:24,967
stuck through their ear or their nose
175
00:07:24,968 --> 00:07:27,799
or their belly button or their cock.
176
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,966
What makes you think I'm
even remotely interested
177
00:07:29,967 --> 00:07:32,299
that you have a ring through your tit?
178
00:07:32,300 --> 00:07:34,965
It's late. I got work.
179
00:07:34,966 --> 00:07:36,831
Don't forget about this Friday.
180
00:07:36,832 --> 00:07:39,630
- What's this Friday?
- You're too young to know.
181
00:07:39,631 --> 00:07:40,931
Tell me.
182
00:07:40,932 --> 00:07:44,363
Just some heathen ritual
called "Studs in Suds."
183
00:07:44,364 --> 00:07:47,296
Studs in suds? What's that?
184
00:07:47,297 --> 00:07:49,196
Well... [Clears throat]
185
00:07:49,197 --> 00:07:50,862
First they flood the dance
floor at Babylon with soapsuds.
186
00:07:50,863 --> 00:07:52,862
And then everyone strips
down to their undies...
187
00:07:52,863 --> 00:07:56,460
Or less, and dances... Cheek to cheek.
188
00:07:56,461 --> 00:07:58,761
- Sounds awesome.
- It's disgusting.
189
00:07:58,762 --> 00:07:59,826
- See you there?
- Can't wait.
190
00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:02,294
Mm.
191
00:08:02,295 --> 00:08:04,226
You better be there too.
192
00:08:04,227 --> 00:08:06,293
Don't worry.
193
00:08:06,294 --> 00:08:08,559
Guess who's head over heels?
194
00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:10,258
I think you mean "heels over head."
195
00:08:10,259 --> 00:08:11,624
[Laughter]
196
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:12,958
Does Michael have a boyfriend?
197
00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:14,291
That's none of your business.
198
00:08:14,292 --> 00:08:16,291
I just want to know.
199
00:08:16,292 --> 00:08:19,323
Well, don't stick your tit
in where it doesn't belong.
200
00:08:19,324 --> 00:08:20,291
Ow.
201
00:08:20,292 --> 00:08:23,423
[Crickets chirping]
202
00:08:39,654 --> 00:08:42,686
[New age music]
203
00:08:42,687 --> 00:08:46,185
♪ ♪
204
00:08:46,186 --> 00:08:49,151
♪ truly am my father's son ♪
205
00:08:49,152 --> 00:08:52,784
♪ truly am my father's son ♪
206
00:08:52,785 --> 00:08:56,217
♪ truly am my father's son ♪
207
00:08:56,218 --> 00:09:00,882
[Passionate moaning]
208
00:09:02,183 --> 00:09:05,848
♪ Away, away ♪
209
00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:09,314
♪ somehow it's getting away from me ♪
210
00:09:09,315 --> 00:09:13,114
♪ away, away ♪
211
00:09:13,115 --> 00:09:16,146
♪ there it goes, my sanity ♪
212
00:09:16,147 --> 00:09:19,579
♪ all gone ♪
213
00:09:19,580 --> 00:09:23,245
♪ now that it's all finally gone ♪
214
00:09:23,246 --> 00:09:26,444
♪ all gone ♪
215
00:09:26,445 --> 00:09:30,243
♪ now that it's all finally gone ♪
216
00:09:30,244 --> 00:09:32,743
♪ truly am my father's son ♪
217
00:09:32,744 --> 00:09:36,342
♪ truly am my father's son ♪
218
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:40,008
♪ truly am my father's son ♪
219
00:09:41,509 --> 00:09:43,108
[Moaning]
220
00:09:43,109 --> 00:09:47,240
♪ Today, today ♪
221
00:09:47,241 --> 00:09:50,140
♪ never thought it could get worse ♪
222
00:09:50,141 --> 00:09:53,439
♪ today, today ♪
223
00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:57,138
♪ trapped inside a universe ♪
224
00:09:57,139 --> 00:09:59,771
♪ all alone ♪
225
00:09:59,772 --> 00:10:03,671
♪ alone in this party of one ♪
226
00:10:03,672 --> 00:10:07,203
♪ all alone ♪
227
00:10:07,204 --> 00:10:10,602
♪ alone in this party of one ♪
228
00:10:10,603 --> 00:10:13,802
♪ truly am my father's son ♪
229
00:10:13,803 --> 00:10:17,368
♪ truly am my father's son ♪
230
00:10:17,369 --> 00:10:20,668
♪ truly am my father's son ♪
231
00:10:24,635 --> 00:10:26,766
- [Knock on door]
- Ooh.
232
00:10:26,767 --> 00:10:30,466
That must be Prince Charming.
233
00:10:30,467 --> 00:10:34,064
Make that the Wicked Witch.
234
00:10:34,065 --> 00:10:35,365
What are you doing here?
235
00:10:35,366 --> 00:10:36,764
I'm hungry. Let's go
get something to eat.
236
00:10:36,765 --> 00:10:38,265
I'm going to my mom's, remember?
237
00:10:38,266 --> 00:10:41,330
Oh, right, din-din with Doc. I forgot.
238
00:10:41,331 --> 00:10:42,630
He's going to be here any
minute, so you better go.
239
00:10:42,631 --> 00:10:43,730
What's this?
240
00:10:43,731 --> 00:10:45,530
Chocolate éclairs from the Big Q bakery.
241
00:10:45,531 --> 00:10:47,096
I bought them for desse...
242
00:10:47,097 --> 00:10:48,129
Wow. It's takes years of practice
243
00:10:48,130 --> 00:10:51,195
to develop technique like that.
244
00:10:51,196 --> 00:10:52,495
Look, I know you don't like him...
245
00:10:52,496 --> 00:10:54,228
Who said I don't like him?
246
00:10:54,229 --> 00:10:56,027
And why do you give a fuck what I think?
247
00:10:56,028 --> 00:10:57,361
I've been saying that for years.
248
00:10:57,362 --> 00:10:59,493
What matters is what you think.
249
00:10:59,494 --> 00:11:03,026
If you like him, that's
all that's important.
250
00:11:03,027 --> 00:11:05,359
Even though he is quite
a bit older than you...
251
00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:07,092
And lives in a world
you know nothing about.
252
00:11:07,093 --> 00:11:08,592
Shut up.
253
00:11:08,593 --> 00:11:10,591
Are you saying he's too good for me?
254
00:11:10,592 --> 00:11:12,091
Nobody's too good for you, Mikey.
255
00:11:12,092 --> 00:11:13,191
You're better than anyone.
256
00:11:13,192 --> 00:11:14,957
Because he happens to think I'm hot.
257
00:11:14,958 --> 00:11:16,457
You know, some people do.
258
00:11:16,458 --> 00:11:18,624
Haven't I always told you that?
259
00:11:18,625 --> 00:11:21,323
- [Knock on door]
- I'll get it.
260
00:11:23,524 --> 00:11:27,388
Dave, buddy. We were
just talking about you.
261
00:11:27,389 --> 00:11:29,355
- Really? Hi, Emmett.
- Hi.
262
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:33,087
Hi.
263
00:11:33,088 --> 00:11:34,621
These are great. My mom'll love these.
264
00:11:34,622 --> 00:11:37,720
Hers are in the car. Those are for you.
265
00:11:37,721 --> 00:11:42,052
The second sign... flowers.
266
00:11:42,053 --> 00:11:46,418
I'll just put these in some water.
267
00:11:46,419 --> 00:11:48,152
Everything all right?
268
00:11:48,153 --> 00:11:52,117
He's allergic to boyfriends
bringing bouquets.
269
00:11:53,618 --> 00:11:55,517
Well, we better go. [Clears throat]
270
00:11:55,518 --> 00:11:58,450
Don't want to be late.
271
00:12:01,216 --> 00:12:04,481
Don't forget this.
272
00:12:04,482 --> 00:12:07,249
Have fun, you two.
273
00:12:13,248 --> 00:12:15,212
You said you wouldn't
tell. You promised.
274
00:12:15,213 --> 00:12:16,646
Justin, I had no choice.
I had to tell Daddy.
275
00:12:16,647 --> 00:12:19,312
You lied to me. You said you wouldn't.
276
00:12:19,313 --> 00:12:20,979
It was for your own good.
277
00:12:20,980 --> 00:12:23,044
When I saw you with this Brian...
278
00:12:23,045 --> 00:12:25,544
You keep calling him "this Brian,"
279
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:28,010
like that's his name. It's just Brian.
280
00:12:28,011 --> 00:12:30,610
When I saw you with Brian...
281
00:12:33,611 --> 00:12:35,542
His arms around you, kissing you...
282
00:12:35,543 --> 00:12:37,242
I couldn't believe it.
283
00:12:37,243 --> 00:12:40,408
Not for the reason you think.
284
00:12:40,409 --> 00:12:43,207
It's not right for a man his age
285
00:12:43,208 --> 00:12:45,940
to be touching you.
286
00:12:45,941 --> 00:12:48,540
To be having sex with you.
287
00:12:48,541 --> 00:12:51,440
And...
288
00:12:51,441 --> 00:12:55,205
Even though you may
think you love him...
289
00:12:56,506 --> 00:12:59,037
I'm sure he doesn't love you.
290
00:12:59,038 --> 00:13:01,071
- That's not true.
- He's an adult.
291
00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:04,037
It's illegal for an adult
to have sex with a minor.
292
00:13:04,038 --> 00:13:05,903
Honey, it's not your
fault. We don't blame you.
293
00:13:05,904 --> 00:13:07,936
We understand this man enticed you.
294
00:13:07,937 --> 00:13:10,469
He didn't entice me. I wanted him.
295
00:13:10,470 --> 00:13:13,035
Justin... God!
296
00:13:13,036 --> 00:13:15,535
Y... you're too young
to know what you want.
297
00:13:15,536 --> 00:13:17,968
Craig, please. You
promised you'd stay calm.
298
00:13:17,969 --> 00:13:21,100
I... I am calm.
299
00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:22,467
What about AIDS?
300
00:13:22,468 --> 00:13:25,299
He wore a condom. I
put it on him myself.
301
00:13:25,300 --> 00:13:28,366
Oh, God! I'm calling the police.
302
00:13:28,367 --> 00:13:29,499
You're not calling anybody.
303
00:13:29,500 --> 00:13:30,866
That's all we need is
for everybody to know.
304
00:13:30,867 --> 00:13:33,031
What, you want this monster,
305
00:13:33,032 --> 00:13:35,165
this child molester to go free?
306
00:13:35,166 --> 00:13:40,030
He didn't molest me,
and I'm not a child.
307
00:13:40,031 --> 00:13:42,563
I love him...
308
00:13:42,564 --> 00:13:45,263
More than anything else in my life.
309
00:13:45,264 --> 00:13:48,395
It's all I want,
310
00:13:48,396 --> 00:13:50,561
is to be with him.
311
00:13:50,562 --> 00:13:54,894
I don't ever want to
hear you say that again.
312
00:13:54,895 --> 00:13:56,894
And you are not to see him.
313
00:13:56,895 --> 00:13:59,393
I'm going to see him. I
don't care what you say.
314
00:13:59,394 --> 00:14:02,359
I don't think so. No,
you're not, Justin.
315
00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:04,792
Hey, Justin!
316
00:14:04,793 --> 00:14:08,258
Have some more carbonara, David.
317
00:14:08,259 --> 00:14:10,757
I'm stuffed, thanks.
318
00:14:10,758 --> 00:14:13,290
Oh, come on. With that body,
you can afford to carbo-load.
319
00:14:13,291 --> 00:14:15,324
Yeah, you must work out all the time.
320
00:14:15,325 --> 00:14:18,157
- Well, when I can.
- Feel those biceps.
321
00:14:18,158 --> 00:14:20,389
I never could resist a hard body.
322
00:14:20,390 --> 00:14:24,089
- Like mother, like son.
- Like uncle.
323
00:14:24,090 --> 00:14:26,754
Like, will you two
please leave him alone?
324
00:14:26,755 --> 00:14:28,488
Next you'll be asking
what kind of car he drives
325
00:14:28,489 --> 00:14:33,387
- and how much he makes.
- [Laughs]
326
00:14:33,388 --> 00:14:36,887
I drive a Jag, and I'm comfortable.
327
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:41,952
Michael, if you don't marry
this man immediately, I will.
328
00:14:41,953 --> 00:14:44,751
I think I will have a little more.
329
00:14:44,752 --> 00:14:47,485
Me too.
330
00:14:47,486 --> 00:14:48,917
[Laughs] It's like
Lady and the Tramp.
331
00:14:48,918 --> 00:14:50,717
Lady and the Tramp?
332
00:14:50,718 --> 00:14:52,117
It's Michael's favorite movie.
333
00:14:52,118 --> 00:14:53,916
When I was nine.
334
00:14:53,917 --> 00:14:55,250
See, Lady and Tramp go on this date
335
00:14:55,251 --> 00:14:57,982
to an Italian restaurant,
and then the waiter...
336
00:14:57,983 --> 00:15:01,082
- Tony.
- What else would his name be?
337
00:15:01,083 --> 00:15:03,748
Brings over this big bowl
of spaghetti and meatballs.
338
00:15:03,749 --> 00:15:07,981
And, um... and they put
their head in the bowl...
339
00:15:07,982 --> 00:15:10,847
They're dogs. [Laughter]
340
00:15:10,848 --> 00:15:15,246
And they come up with this
one single strand of spaghetti.
341
00:15:15,247 --> 00:15:17,745
And then they chew, and they chew and...
342
00:15:17,746 --> 00:15:20,312
They get closer and closer...
343
00:15:20,313 --> 00:15:22,744
Until finally, their lips meet.
344
00:15:22,745 --> 00:15:24,744
[Chuckles]
345
00:15:24,745 --> 00:15:28,144
It is, in my estimation, the
greatest screen kiss ever.
346
00:15:28,145 --> 00:15:29,910
I... I remember it.
347
00:15:29,911 --> 00:15:32,777
Like this.
348
00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:40,008
[Romantic Italian music]
349
00:15:55,239 --> 00:15:57,871
That's even better than the movie.
350
00:16:15,735 --> 00:16:16,868
You want to see my old room?
351
00:16:16,869 --> 00:16:18,968
I'd love to see your old room.
352
00:16:25,101 --> 00:16:28,233
And be gentle. [Laughter]
353
00:16:32,166 --> 00:16:33,965
I've been waiting all week to do this.
354
00:16:33,966 --> 00:16:36,964
Me too.
355
00:16:36,965 --> 00:16:38,797
Just hasn't been any time.
356
00:16:38,798 --> 00:16:40,963
I know. It's hard.
357
00:16:40,964 --> 00:16:43,996
Finding the time. [Laughter]
358
00:16:43,997 --> 00:16:45,829
- I got a solution.
- Mm-hmm.
359
00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:46,995
I got a solution.
360
00:16:46,996 --> 00:16:49,895
How'd you like to go away
with me for the weekend?
361
00:16:49,896 --> 00:16:51,295
Huh?
362
00:16:51,296 --> 00:16:53,028
I got a cabin up in the woods.
363
00:16:53,029 --> 00:16:56,793
Will I get to see anything
besides the bedroom ceiling?
364
00:16:56,794 --> 00:17:00,661
Word of honor. What do you say?
365
00:17:04,993 --> 00:17:08,058
Say "yes," you little
asshole, or I'll disown you.
366
00:17:08,059 --> 00:17:11,025
[Laughter]
367
00:17:11,026 --> 00:17:13,890
Like I said, it's a very small house.
368
00:17:13,891 --> 00:17:16,757
♪ ♪
369
00:17:16,864 --> 00:17:21,338
_
370
00:17:24,056 --> 00:17:27,954
[Telephone rings]
371
00:17:27,955 --> 00:17:29,954
6 Fuller, corner of Tremont.
372
00:17:29,955 --> 00:17:34,687
It should take you ten
minutes... One for every inch.
373
00:17:37,954 --> 00:17:42,653
[Knock on door]
374
00:17:48,819 --> 00:17:51,250
- You got laid.
- I did not.
375
00:17:51,251 --> 00:17:55,083
Yes, you did. I can always tell.
376
00:17:55,084 --> 00:17:57,482
I thought you and Dave
were having dinner at Deb's.
377
00:17:57,483 --> 00:17:58,849
Dinner's over.
378
00:17:58,850 --> 00:18:00,615
[Scoffs] What, did she scare him off?
379
00:18:00,616 --> 00:18:03,648
Actually, she and Vic were
on their best behavior.
380
00:18:03,649 --> 00:18:07,914
That's even scarier.
Listen, you can't stay.
381
00:18:07,915 --> 00:18:09,680
I've got someone coming
over in approximately
382
00:18:09,681 --> 00:18:12,480
7 1/2 inches, so...
383
00:18:12,481 --> 00:18:16,279
I'll see you tomorrow at Studs in Suds.
384
00:18:17,580 --> 00:18:19,745
I can't go.
385
00:18:19,746 --> 00:18:23,211
That's what I came
over here to tell you.
386
00:18:23,212 --> 00:18:24,610
[Sighs]
387
00:18:24,611 --> 00:18:27,877
David invited me away
with him for the weekend.
388
00:18:29,911 --> 00:18:31,576
He has a cabin.
389
00:18:31,577 --> 00:18:33,909
Well, what do you know,
just like the boy said...
390
00:18:33,910 --> 00:18:36,809
Flowers, dinner at Mom's,
391
00:18:36,810 --> 00:18:39,075
and now an invitation to the country.
392
00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:41,707
- You're mad.
- Why would I be mad?
393
00:18:41,708 --> 00:18:43,541
I mean, who wants to be
on a crowded dance floor
394
00:18:43,542 --> 00:18:45,740
surrounded by naked
men covered in soapsuds
395
00:18:45,741 --> 00:18:48,139
when you can be breathing
all that fresh, country air?
396
00:18:48,140 --> 00:18:51,806
[Telephone rings]
397
00:18:51,807 --> 00:18:53,639
Just don't forget to take your inhaler,
398
00:18:53,640 --> 00:18:55,938
in case your asthma attacks.
399
00:18:55,939 --> 00:18:57,504
[Telephone ringing]
400
00:18:57,505 --> 00:19:00,504
Must have gotten lost.
401
00:19:00,505 --> 00:19:02,503
I told you, 6 Fuller, corner of Tremont.
402
00:19:02,504 --> 00:19:04,170
Now get your ass over here.
403
00:19:04,171 --> 00:19:05,903
I've got this new dildo...
404
00:19:05,904 --> 00:19:09,569
9 inches long, 7 inches round.
405
00:19:09,570 --> 00:19:11,469
I'm going to open up your hole with it,
406
00:19:11,470 --> 00:19:12,868
and then I'm going to fuck you so hard,
407
00:19:12,869 --> 00:19:16,734
your eyes roll back in your head.
408
00:19:16,735 --> 00:19:20,866
You ever considered a
career in phone sales?
409
00:19:20,867 --> 00:19:23,500
Get out of here.
410
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:28,032
[Telephone rings]
411
00:19:28,033 --> 00:19:30,666
Now what?
412
00:19:33,732 --> 00:19:37,631
Didn't you just call?
413
00:19:37,632 --> 00:19:39,597
That wasn't you?
414
00:19:46,430 --> 00:19:48,795
It's my neck again.
415
00:19:48,796 --> 00:19:50,362
I can barely move it.
416
00:19:50,363 --> 00:19:52,361
Do you want the
periwinkle or the apricot?
417
00:19:52,362 --> 00:19:53,394
Shh.
418
00:19:53,395 --> 00:19:54,494
[Whispering] I think the apricot
419
00:19:54,495 --> 00:19:57,760
goes better with your eyes.
420
00:19:57,761 --> 00:20:01,093
Uh, yeah, I... I think it'll
be better in a couple of days.
421
00:20:01,094 --> 00:20:05,092
Oh, don't worry, I definitely
plan on seeing my chiropractor.
422
00:20:05,093 --> 00:20:07,324
- [Snickers]
- Thanks.
423
00:20:07,325 --> 00:20:11,457
Thanks. Bye.
424
00:20:11,458 --> 00:20:13,857
You know what grows when you lie.
425
00:20:13,858 --> 00:20:15,357
Too bad it's your nose.
426
00:20:15,358 --> 00:20:17,556
I'm entitled to a
couple of personal days.
427
00:20:17,557 --> 00:20:19,456
Michael, you're entitled
to a personal life.
428
00:20:19,457 --> 00:20:20,390
All right, have you got everything?
429
00:20:20,391 --> 00:20:22,089
Uh, five pairs of jeans,
430
00:20:22,090 --> 00:20:25,854
seven shirts, four
sweaters, and ten tees.
431
00:20:25,855 --> 00:20:27,888
- How long are you going for?
- The weekend.
432
00:20:27,889 --> 00:20:30,488
All right.
433
00:20:32,687 --> 00:20:36,752
One change of undies. A pack of condoms.
434
00:20:36,753 --> 00:20:38,852
Tube of lube. There, you're all set.
435
00:20:38,853 --> 00:20:40,553
[Chuckles]
436
00:20:44,786 --> 00:20:46,718
Remember when my mom
took me to Atlantic City,
437
00:20:46,719 --> 00:20:49,450
and I got sick on all
that saltwater taffy?
438
00:20:49,451 --> 00:20:52,350
Listen to him. He's
got cold feet already.
439
00:20:52,351 --> 00:20:53,983
I'm not getting cold feet.
440
00:20:53,984 --> 00:20:57,049
I just don't know what
you do for a whole weekend.
441
00:20:57,050 --> 00:20:58,616
Well, let's see. First you arrive...
442
00:20:58,617 --> 00:20:59,748
- Then you fuck.
- Then you unpack...
443
00:20:59,749 --> 00:21:00,815
- Then you fuck.
- Then you go berry picking.
444
00:21:00,816 --> 00:21:02,014
Then you fuck.
445
00:21:02,015 --> 00:21:03,281
I mean, after you fuck.
446
00:21:03,282 --> 00:21:05,014
You talk. You get to know each other.
447
00:21:05,015 --> 00:21:07,447
What if I run out of things to say?
448
00:21:07,448 --> 00:21:09,813
What if I say some stupid
remark, and he says,
449
00:21:09,814 --> 00:21:12,713
"why am I up here with this jerk?"
450
00:21:12,714 --> 00:21:15,312
- Or what if...
- Hey, hey.
451
00:21:15,313 --> 00:21:17,613
Would you please stop worrying?
452
00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:22,677
I just want him to like me.
453
00:21:22,678 --> 00:21:26,345
He already does.
454
00:21:28,544 --> 00:21:31,910
He more than likes you.
455
00:21:36,443 --> 00:21:39,841
So you go, and you have a fabulous time.
456
00:21:39,842 --> 00:21:44,608
And bring us back some berries.
457
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:48,940
That's... Not my berries.
458
00:21:50,906 --> 00:21:53,638
- How much?
- 2,000.
459
00:21:53,639 --> 00:21:56,204
Who knew it would be so
expensive having a kid?
460
00:21:56,205 --> 00:21:58,271
Obviously we didn't.
461
00:21:58,272 --> 00:22:01,237
Can I tell you that I love you to death?
462
00:22:01,238 --> 00:22:03,970
Hmm. You and Melanie really
are after my life insurance.
463
00:22:03,971 --> 00:22:08,302
And that you are exceedingly generous?
464
00:22:08,303 --> 00:22:11,668
Well, you know, I barely have
enough left for Studs in Suds.
465
00:22:11,669 --> 00:22:14,567
Oh, is that this weekend?
You going with Michael?
466
00:22:14,568 --> 00:22:16,901
Michael went to the country
with the proctologist.
467
00:22:16,902 --> 00:22:18,767
- Chiropractor.
- Whatever.
468
00:22:18,768 --> 00:22:19,833
Oh, sounds romantic.
469
00:22:19,834 --> 00:22:22,400
Peaceful walks, cozy fires...
470
00:22:22,401 --> 00:22:26,499
Stepping in bear shit,
being stung by mosquitoes.
471
00:22:26,500 --> 00:22:27,866
I guarantee you, after two days,
472
00:22:27,867 --> 00:22:30,564
he'll wish he was back
here with me in Babylon.
473
00:22:30,565 --> 00:22:32,165
I wouldn't be so sure.
474
00:22:32,166 --> 00:22:33,698
He might actually
like a change of scene,
475
00:22:33,699 --> 00:22:35,830
not to mention someone who
actually wants to be with him.
476
00:22:35,831 --> 00:22:37,563
You know, I told him,
477
00:22:37,564 --> 00:22:39,263
"I'm glad you're going out with Dave."
478
00:22:39,264 --> 00:22:40,563
He can't spend the rest of his life
479
00:22:40,564 --> 00:22:42,796
tricking and going to clubs.
480
00:22:42,797 --> 00:22:45,695
It's time he settled down...
481
00:22:45,696 --> 00:22:46,895
And grew up.
482
00:22:46,896 --> 00:22:49,294
[Laughs] You are so full of shit.
483
00:22:49,295 --> 00:22:51,228
You can't imagine why two people
484
00:22:51,229 --> 00:22:52,527
would want to be together, can you?
485
00:22:52,528 --> 00:22:54,394
The desire to fall asleep
in front of Jay Leno
486
00:22:54,395 --> 00:22:56,860
and argue over whose turn it
is to pick up the dry cleaning?
487
00:22:56,861 --> 00:22:59,292
It's called not wanting to be alone,
488
00:22:59,293 --> 00:23:01,226
knowing that you're loved.
489
00:23:01,227 --> 00:23:02,558
Apparently, a lot of us need that,
490
00:23:02,559 --> 00:23:05,158
including Michael.
491
00:23:05,159 --> 00:23:08,525
So promise me you won't
fuck it up for him.
492
00:23:12,392 --> 00:23:14,823
You ran into my lane, you stupid ass.
493
00:23:14,824 --> 00:23:16,757
I couldn't see you.
I forgot my contacts.
494
00:23:16,758 --> 00:23:18,857
Fag.
495
00:23:20,456 --> 00:23:23,322
Hey, Taylor. Aren't
you gonna take a shower?
496
00:23:23,323 --> 00:23:25,155
I have to finish a paper for Nessler.
497
00:23:25,156 --> 00:23:26,621
You know what a bitch she is.
498
00:23:26,622 --> 00:23:29,321
Don't you wanna check
out all the guys' dicks?
499
00:23:29,322 --> 00:23:32,353
I know how much you like that.
500
00:23:32,354 --> 00:23:34,253
- Hey, what's that?
- Nothing.
501
00:23:34,254 --> 00:23:36,519
Let's see. Where'd you get that?
502
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:39,552
A piercing parlor on Liberty Avenue.
503
00:23:39,553 --> 00:23:43,385
- Shit, you really are a queer.
- Am not.
504
00:23:43,386 --> 00:23:45,451
Yeah? Then why do you
have a nipple ring?
505
00:23:45,452 --> 00:23:46,717
I wanted it.
506
00:23:46,718 --> 00:23:48,384
Yeah, so your fudge-packing friends
507
00:23:48,385 --> 00:23:50,484
can pull on it while
they're butt-fucking you?
508
00:23:50,485 --> 00:23:52,783
How do you know so much
about what faggots do
509
00:23:52,784 --> 00:23:55,550
unless you are one?
510
00:23:56,716 --> 00:23:58,348
Fight!
511
00:23:58,349 --> 00:24:00,582
Break it up.
512
00:24:00,583 --> 00:24:03,514
- Come on, get up!
- Bitch!
513
00:24:03,515 --> 00:24:06,080
- You fucking son of a bitch.
- Come on, chill out.
514
00:24:06,081 --> 00:24:07,513
Ah!
515
00:24:07,514 --> 00:24:09,781
You fucking... I'll
kill you, you fucking...
516
00:24:30,144 --> 00:24:33,010
Wow.
517
00:24:34,743 --> 00:24:38,774
You really built this place yourself?
518
00:24:38,775 --> 00:24:41,574
Most of it.
519
00:24:41,575 --> 00:24:43,040
I'm good with my hands.
520
00:24:43,041 --> 00:24:44,073
[Both chuckle]
521
00:24:44,074 --> 00:24:45,706
Yeah, I've noticed.
522
00:24:45,707 --> 00:24:46,773
[Breathes deep]
523
00:24:46,774 --> 00:24:49,039
I forgot how good fresh air smells.
524
00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:50,605
When was the last time
you were in the country?
525
00:24:50,606 --> 00:24:53,305
We visited a dairy in the third grade.
526
00:24:53,306 --> 00:24:56,771
That's a long time. [Laughs]
527
00:24:56,772 --> 00:24:58,739
[Horse neighs]
528
00:25:05,037 --> 00:25:09,968
Make yourself at home.
529
00:25:09,969 --> 00:25:12,669
I'm just going to
throw this bag upstairs.
530
00:25:21,101 --> 00:25:25,232
So did you catch that fish
or challenge it to a duel?
531
00:25:25,233 --> 00:25:27,199
I... I caught that with some friends
532
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:30,232
down in the Florida Keys.
533
00:25:35,131 --> 00:25:37,097
Who's this?
534
00:25:37,098 --> 00:25:38,496
My ex.
535
00:25:38,497 --> 00:25:42,363
Ex-scuba-diving instructor?
Ex-figure-skating partner?
536
00:25:42,364 --> 00:25:44,463
Ex-wife.
537
00:25:47,962 --> 00:25:51,227
She's pretty.
538
00:25:51,228 --> 00:25:55,360
I didn't know you were married.
539
00:25:55,361 --> 00:26:00,226
Yeah, seven years.
540
00:26:00,227 --> 00:26:03,025
And that is my son Hank.
541
00:26:03,026 --> 00:26:07,324
He's 12 now.
542
00:26:07,325 --> 00:26:10,191
He's, uh, living with his mom
543
00:26:10,192 --> 00:26:13,424
down in Oregon.
544
00:26:15,458 --> 00:26:19,222
I don't get to see him too much anymore.
545
00:26:19,223 --> 00:26:21,588
So you weren't always gay?
546
00:26:21,589 --> 00:26:25,821
No, I was always gay.
547
00:26:27,022 --> 00:26:29,053
Just didn't want to admit it.
548
00:26:29,054 --> 00:26:32,886
And being the overachiever that I am,
549
00:26:32,887 --> 00:26:35,619
I figured that, if I worked hard enough,
550
00:26:35,620 --> 00:26:38,052
I could become anything I wanted,
551
00:26:38,053 --> 00:26:40,585
including straight.
552
00:26:40,586 --> 00:26:42,352
So I married Lori.
553
00:26:42,353 --> 00:26:45,451
And for a long time, we were happy.
554
00:26:45,452 --> 00:26:49,984
Built this place together.
555
00:26:49,985 --> 00:26:52,483
But eventually, it became harder to...
556
00:26:52,484 --> 00:26:55,882
To deny who I really was.
557
00:26:55,883 --> 00:26:58,882
Who I am.
558
00:27:00,282 --> 00:27:02,881
So I told her.
559
00:27:11,014 --> 00:27:15,145
I... it was the only fair thing to do.
560
00:27:15,146 --> 00:27:17,411
For either of us.
561
00:27:17,412 --> 00:27:20,945
She must have been really upset.
562
00:27:26,211 --> 00:27:30,809
After we split up... [Clears throat]
563
00:27:30,810 --> 00:27:35,175
After we split up, I promised
myself that I would...
564
00:27:35,176 --> 00:27:39,207
Well, that I would be honest with me...
565
00:27:39,208 --> 00:27:40,873
And that I would always be honest
566
00:27:40,874 --> 00:27:43,874
with anyone else that I loved.
567
00:27:45,574 --> 00:27:48,540
Which, I guess, is why I'm telling you.
568
00:28:07,537 --> 00:28:09,468
Whoa.
569
00:28:09,469 --> 00:28:12,202
You all right?
570
00:28:14,535 --> 00:28:17,468
Must be all this fresh air.
571
00:28:24,300 --> 00:28:27,365
[Dance music]
572
00:28:27,366 --> 00:28:30,931
♪ ♪
573
00:28:30,932 --> 00:28:33,130
♪ wake up ♪
574
00:28:33,131 --> 00:28:35,064
♪ shake yourself awake ♪
575
00:28:35,065 --> 00:28:39,729
♪ you're really here,
so shake yourself awake ♪
576
00:28:39,730 --> 00:28:42,762
♪ are you with me? Are you with me? ♪
577
00:28:42,763 --> 00:28:45,728
♪ Are you listening to me? ♪
578
00:28:45,729 --> 00:28:48,394
Aren't you going to
dive in, join the fun?
579
00:28:48,395 --> 00:28:50,161
I already took a bath,
but if you want to jump in,
580
00:28:50,162 --> 00:28:51,827
I promise I won't look.
581
00:28:51,828 --> 00:28:53,393
You and everybody else.
582
00:28:53,394 --> 00:28:57,093
Hey, you two wallflowers.
583
00:28:57,094 --> 00:29:00,259
Come on in, the suds are great.
584
00:29:00,260 --> 00:29:02,725
Oh, hey. Look what I found.
585
00:29:02,726 --> 00:29:04,158
My rubber ducky.
586
00:29:04,159 --> 00:29:07,824
Quack, quack!
587
00:29:07,825 --> 00:29:10,123
[Laughs]
588
00:29:10,124 --> 00:29:12,023
That's pathetic.
589
00:29:12,024 --> 00:29:14,456
I thought Studs in Suds was
your favorite contact sport.
590
00:29:14,457 --> 00:29:16,889
What, a bunch of fags sliding
around in their shorts?
591
00:29:16,890 --> 00:29:19,722
You always seem to enjoy
yourself when Michael's here.
592
00:29:19,723 --> 00:29:21,888
But I guess it's not as much fun scoring
593
00:29:21,889 --> 00:29:24,288
without your little
audience of one, is it?
594
00:29:24,289 --> 00:29:27,721
You know, as the great
French philosopher Roquefort,
595
00:29:27,722 --> 00:29:30,020
or what was it Camembert, once said,
596
00:29:30,021 --> 00:29:31,986
"it is not enough to trick.
597
00:29:31,987 --> 00:29:35,786
Your best friend must
also go home alone."
598
00:29:35,787 --> 00:29:38,718
Fuck you.
599
00:29:38,719 --> 00:29:40,818
I haven't thought about
Michael once tonight.
600
00:29:40,819 --> 00:29:44,884
Hey, what do you know?
Just like when he's here.
601
00:29:44,885 --> 00:29:47,417
♪ Are you listening to me? ♪
602
00:29:47,418 --> 00:29:50,883
Uh, uh, uh.
603
00:29:50,884 --> 00:29:52,750
Wash my back.
604
00:29:59,716 --> 00:30:03,114
Hey. Remember me?
605
00:30:03,115 --> 00:30:04,347
Why? Should I?
606
00:30:04,348 --> 00:30:07,113
We did it at the baths
a couple weeks ago.
607
00:30:07,114 --> 00:30:10,613
I must have been very desperate.
608
00:30:10,614 --> 00:30:12,246
Fuck you.
609
00:30:12,247 --> 00:30:17,111
[Chatter, laughter]
610
00:30:17,112 --> 00:30:20,712
Who the fuck do you think you are?
611
00:30:25,711 --> 00:30:29,243
Fuck you!
612
00:30:29,244 --> 00:30:31,808
[Car stereo playing electronic music]
613
00:30:40,241 --> 00:30:43,674
[Ejects tape, music stops]
614
00:30:53,905 --> 00:30:55,804
[Horn honks]
615
00:30:55,805 --> 00:30:58,570
[Other car's engine revs]
616
00:30:58,571 --> 00:31:00,238
[Tires screech]
617
00:31:03,137 --> 00:31:05,937
[Engine revving] [Tires screech]
618
00:31:07,970 --> 00:31:10,835
What are you doing, you crazy fuck?
619
00:31:19,867 --> 00:31:22,699
[Birds chirping]
620
00:31:22,700 --> 00:31:24,999
[Passionate moans]
621
00:31:34,132 --> 00:31:35,830
Oh, God, that was incredible.
622
00:31:35,831 --> 00:31:37,829
[Chuckles]
623
00:31:37,830 --> 00:31:39,763
And they said I'd never be
any good at outdoor sports.
624
00:31:39,764 --> 00:31:42,762
[Laughter]
625
00:31:42,763 --> 00:31:46,561
Oh.
626
00:31:46,562 --> 00:31:49,261
Oh, don't go, don't go.
627
00:31:49,262 --> 00:31:52,560
Okay, but I have to warn
you, a girl scout troop
628
00:31:52,561 --> 00:31:54,726
- comes through here every day.
- Holy shit.
629
00:31:54,727 --> 00:31:56,060
I'm kidding.
630
00:31:56,061 --> 00:31:57,726
I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
631
00:31:57,727 --> 00:32:02,091
We can stay here forever, if you like.
632
00:32:02,092 --> 00:32:04,592
I'd like.
633
00:32:08,091 --> 00:32:09,224
You know, I was really nervous
634
00:32:09,225 --> 00:32:11,657
about coming up here this weekend.
635
00:32:11,658 --> 00:32:13,989
Oh?
636
00:32:13,990 --> 00:32:17,056
But it turns out I had no reason to be.
637
00:32:17,057 --> 00:32:19,821
Good.
638
00:32:19,822 --> 00:32:24,454
So we can go away
together again sometime.
639
00:32:24,455 --> 00:32:25,854
Maybe.
640
00:32:25,855 --> 00:32:28,220
- You ever been skiing?
- Not really.
641
00:32:28,221 --> 00:32:30,220
When was the last time
you were in New York?
642
00:32:30,221 --> 00:32:31,719
Like, never.
643
00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:33,920
London? Paris? The Amalfi Coast?
644
00:32:33,921 --> 00:32:38,451
- Try Atlantic City, 1983.
- Michael. Michael.
645
00:32:38,452 --> 00:32:42,918
There's a whole world
outside Liberty Avenue.
646
00:32:42,919 --> 00:32:47,483
I'd like to show it to
you, if you'd let me.
647
00:32:48,584 --> 00:32:52,582
But first...
648
00:32:52,583 --> 00:32:55,548
We swim.
649
00:32:55,549 --> 00:32:59,514
Come on. Come on.
650
00:32:59,515 --> 00:33:03,580
Whew. Whoa. [Laughs]
651
00:33:03,581 --> 00:33:05,780
I'll be right there.
652
00:33:05,781 --> 00:33:08,180
[Water splashes]
653
00:33:09,546 --> 00:33:11,512
[Dialing]
654
00:33:11,513 --> 00:33:14,479
[Cell phone ringing]
655
00:33:20,444 --> 00:33:22,976
Guess what I'm doing.
656
00:33:22,977 --> 00:33:25,776
Uh, rubbing pink stuff all
over the poison ivy you got
657
00:33:25,777 --> 00:33:28,042
when that bear chased
you through the woods.
658
00:33:28,043 --> 00:33:30,775
Basking in the afterglow
of having just made love
659
00:33:30,776 --> 00:33:33,642
to David under a tree, asshole.
660
00:33:33,643 --> 00:33:36,574
That sounds like Falcon Video Pac 77:
661
00:33:36,575 --> 00:33:38,741
Man's Country.
662
00:33:38,742 --> 00:33:40,073
It was incredible.
663
00:33:40,074 --> 00:33:41,907
I've never had sex outdoors before.
664
00:33:41,908 --> 00:33:43,107
Sure, you did.
665
00:33:43,108 --> 00:33:45,473
In the back alley behind Babylon.
666
00:33:45,474 --> 00:33:46,906
I don't mean the kind
that takes five minutes
667
00:33:46,907 --> 00:33:48,472
with your pants around your knees
668
00:33:48,473 --> 00:33:50,038
and your butt against the bricks.
669
00:33:50,039 --> 00:33:54,804
So how was your weekend?
670
00:33:54,805 --> 00:33:56,471
- Dandy.
- Yeah?
671
00:33:56,472 --> 00:33:58,703
- How was Studs in Suds?
- Bubbly.
672
00:33:58,704 --> 00:34:00,570
Too bad you weren't there.
673
00:34:00,571 --> 00:34:02,036
Okay, what's going on?
674
00:34:02,037 --> 00:34:04,069
- Nothing.
- You can't fool me.
675
00:34:04,070 --> 00:34:05,335
Out with it.
676
00:34:05,336 --> 00:34:06,768
[Sighs] Only if you promise
677
00:34:06,769 --> 00:34:08,402
you won't let it spoil your weekend.
678
00:34:08,403 --> 00:34:09,968
Michael, hurry up. Come on, it's warm.
679
00:34:09,969 --> 00:34:12,734
Right there! What?
680
00:34:12,735 --> 00:34:14,734
I was in an accident, that's all.
681
00:34:14,735 --> 00:34:17,066
What kind of accident?
682
00:34:17,067 --> 00:34:21,332
I wouldn't fuck this scumbag,
so he rammed my Jeep...
683
00:34:21,333 --> 00:34:22,733
Twice.
684
00:34:22,734 --> 00:34:23,999
Christ! Are you okay?
685
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,632
I have a minor head
wound and a concussion.
686
00:34:26,633 --> 00:34:28,598
- Oh, my God!
- Now, you promised
687
00:34:28,599 --> 00:34:29,831
you wouldn't let it spoil your weekend,
688
00:34:29,832 --> 00:34:31,864
so don't you even think
about cutting your trip short
689
00:34:31,865 --> 00:34:33,530
and coming back here.
690
00:34:33,531 --> 00:34:37,630
You and Doc just enjoy
your poke in the pines.
691
00:34:37,631 --> 00:34:40,963
Bye, Mikey.
692
00:34:43,529 --> 00:34:45,895
Are you coming in?
693
00:34:45,896 --> 00:34:48,028
What... What's up?
694
00:34:48,029 --> 00:34:50,594
I have to go back.
695
00:34:57,027 --> 00:34:59,760
[Door opens, shuts]
696
00:35:02,726 --> 00:35:05,625
My God, what happened to the car?
697
00:35:05,626 --> 00:35:07,891
Some asshole in a Jeep backed into me.
698
00:35:07,892 --> 00:35:11,823
Did... did you get his information?
699
00:35:11,824 --> 00:35:12,724
It was dark, honey.
700
00:35:12,725 --> 00:35:16,422
He drove off before I could see him.
701
00:35:16,423 --> 00:35:18,388
Where are you going?
702
00:35:18,389 --> 00:35:19,521
Out.
703
00:35:19,522 --> 00:35:21,854
No, you're not leaving this house.
704
00:35:21,855 --> 00:35:23,854
What, so now I'm a prisoner?
705
00:35:23,855 --> 00:35:25,354
I heard what happened at school,
706
00:35:25,355 --> 00:35:27,587
Justin, yesterday.
Your principal called.
707
00:35:27,588 --> 00:35:28,984
So?
708
00:35:29,185 --> 00:35:32,220
So now you're flaunting
yourself in front of everyone?
709
00:35:32,254 --> 00:35:34,952
I was not "flaunting" myself, Dad.
710
00:35:34,953 --> 00:35:36,886
Besides, Chris Hobbs is
the one who started it.
711
00:35:36,887 --> 00:35:39,718
You know what? I don't
care who started it.
712
00:35:39,719 --> 00:35:41,885
You're not going back there.
713
00:35:41,886 --> 00:35:43,317
What?
714
00:35:43,318 --> 00:35:46,416
We're sending him away to school.
715
00:35:46,417 --> 00:35:48,883
It's time you learned some discipline.
716
00:35:48,884 --> 00:35:51,315
How to be a man.
717
00:35:51,316 --> 00:35:53,582
I know all about discipline.
718
00:35:53,583 --> 00:35:56,414
And you should see
me take it like a man.
719
00:35:56,415 --> 00:35:57,915
[Gasps] Craig!
720
00:35:57,916 --> 00:35:59,981
It's all right, Mom. It didn't hurt.
721
00:35:59,982 --> 00:36:02,814
If you want to hit me, go right ahead.
722
00:36:02,815 --> 00:36:05,679
Only I'm not going to cry
like some little faggot.
723
00:36:05,680 --> 00:36:07,880
And if you want to send me
away, that's all right too.
724
00:36:07,881 --> 00:36:10,845
'Cause I bet more butt-fucking
goes on in boarding school
725
00:36:10,846 --> 00:36:13,245
than in the back room of Babylon.
726
00:36:13,246 --> 00:36:17,378
But whatever you do,
it's not going to matter
727
00:36:17,379 --> 00:36:21,744
'cause I'll still be your queer son.
728
00:36:24,577 --> 00:36:26,877
[Sighs]
729
00:36:35,208 --> 00:36:37,707
Have some tea.
730
00:36:37,708 --> 00:36:39,506
Ah, it's too hot.
731
00:36:39,507 --> 00:36:41,406
Here, put this ice bag on your head.
732
00:36:41,407 --> 00:36:43,173
That's too cold.
733
00:36:43,174 --> 00:36:45,539
What are you, Goldilocks?
734
00:36:45,540 --> 00:36:49,172
Time for your temperature. Roll over!
735
00:36:49,173 --> 00:36:51,304
[Laughter] [Grunts]
736
00:36:51,305 --> 00:36:53,637
You're not sticking
that thing up my ass.
737
00:36:53,638 --> 00:36:55,304
Jeez, that accident must
have really jarred your brain.
738
00:36:55,305 --> 00:36:58,170
It wasn't an accident. That
asshole kept ramming me.
739
00:36:58,171 --> 00:37:00,436
- Did you get his license?
- It was dark.
740
00:37:00,437 --> 00:37:02,135
What kind of car was it?
741
00:37:02,136 --> 00:37:03,169
I don't know, some silver thing.
742
00:37:03,170 --> 00:37:06,301
Oh, my God, it was my dad.
743
00:37:06,302 --> 00:37:07,302
- I know it.
- What?
744
00:37:07,303 --> 00:37:09,268
I saw his car. It was totally smashed.
745
00:37:09,269 --> 00:37:11,701
Hmm, now why would your
father do something like that?
746
00:37:11,702 --> 00:37:13,801
Because my mom told him everything.
747
00:37:13,802 --> 00:37:16,666
He wants to have you
arrested and send me away.
748
00:37:16,667 --> 00:37:18,399
Don't be a drama princess.
749
00:37:18,400 --> 00:37:19,832
You better be careful, just in case.
750
00:37:19,833 --> 00:37:23,465
Don't worry about me, I'm invincible.
751
00:37:23,466 --> 00:37:25,532
Yeah, you also got a concussion.
752
00:37:25,533 --> 00:37:28,197
Well, fuck it. It's party time.
753
00:37:28,198 --> 00:37:29,698
[Dance music]
754
00:37:29,699 --> 00:37:32,597
♪ Good times out on the floor ♪
755
00:37:32,598 --> 00:37:35,863
♪ good times, give me some more ♪
756
00:37:35,864 --> 00:37:37,230
♪ good times ♪
757
00:37:37,231 --> 00:37:38,796
Come on, Teddy, shake your groove thang.
758
00:37:38,797 --> 00:37:41,462
♪ Good times ♪
759
00:37:41,463 --> 00:37:42,695
♪ give me some more ♪
760
00:37:42,696 --> 00:37:44,695
♪ come on ♪
761
00:37:44,696 --> 00:37:47,661
Hey, guys. Join the party.
762
00:37:50,394 --> 00:37:53,360
I thought you were really hurt.
763
00:37:53,361 --> 00:37:55,392
I am.
764
00:37:55,393 --> 00:37:57,292
Michael insisted we come right back.
765
00:37:57,293 --> 00:37:58,658
I told you not to.
766
00:37:58,659 --> 00:38:02,258
I know, but...
767
00:38:02,259 --> 00:38:05,490
♪ ♪
768
00:38:05,491 --> 00:38:09,424
Don't go after him, Mikey.
769
00:38:09,425 --> 00:38:12,791
Don't ever go after anyone.
770
00:38:21,122 --> 00:38:22,321
Sorry.
771
00:38:22,322 --> 00:38:25,054
- For what?
- Brian.
772
00:38:25,055 --> 00:38:28,787
I know what it's like,
his manipulations.
773
00:38:28,788 --> 00:38:31,452
He gets a real kick
out of that, doesn't he?
774
00:38:31,453 --> 00:38:35,118
You know, I should just turn,
walk away, and never come back.
775
00:38:35,119 --> 00:38:36,651
Well, that's one option.
776
00:38:36,652 --> 00:38:38,651
Unless, of course, you think
Michael's worth fighting for.
777
00:38:38,652 --> 00:38:40,784
Which is what you're
going to have to do.
778
00:38:40,785 --> 00:38:43,550
Thanks for the advice.
779
00:38:43,551 --> 00:38:47,050
I like doing pro bono work.
Reminds me I have a heart.
780
00:38:47,051 --> 00:38:50,549
What is it with Brian Kinney?
781
00:38:50,550 --> 00:38:52,115
I mean, sure, he's good-looking,
782
00:38:52,116 --> 00:38:53,216
but a lot of guys are good-looking.
783
00:38:53,217 --> 00:38:54,348
And he's got his fucking charm,
784
00:38:54,349 --> 00:38:55,481
but we all have that when we want it.
785
00:38:55,482 --> 00:38:56,648
But what is it with him?
786
00:38:56,649 --> 00:38:58,114
I don't know. Lindsay says it's that
787
00:38:58,115 --> 00:38:59,581
he'll do anything, say anything,
788
00:38:59,582 --> 00:39:01,113
fuck anything.
789
00:39:01,114 --> 00:39:03,713
No excuses, no apologies, no regrets.
790
00:39:03,714 --> 00:39:06,747
In other words, he doesn't give a shit.
791
00:39:10,746 --> 00:39:14,544
[Dance music]
792
00:39:14,545 --> 00:39:16,744
♪ Get it out on the floor ♪
793
00:39:16,745 --> 00:39:19,543
♪ ♪
794
00:39:19,544 --> 00:39:21,610
[Inhales]
795
00:39:21,611 --> 00:39:25,375
♪ Get it out on the floor ♪
796
00:39:25,376 --> 00:39:28,975
♪ ♪
797
00:39:28,976 --> 00:39:31,575
♪ get it out on the floor ♪
798
00:39:31,576 --> 00:39:36,540
♪ ♪
799
00:39:36,541 --> 00:39:38,541
There's David.
800
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:45,939
[Inhales]
801
00:39:45,940 --> 00:39:47,505
Is there some room on
your dance card for me?
802
00:39:47,506 --> 00:39:50,405
- Sure.
- Not you.
803
00:39:50,406 --> 00:39:52,071
You.
804
00:39:52,072 --> 00:39:54,237
♪ ♪
805
00:39:54,238 --> 00:39:56,470
Why, Doc, I thought you'd never ask.
806
00:40:09,335 --> 00:40:13,667
Man, David looks hot.
807
00:40:13,668 --> 00:40:18,465
Why is he dancing with Brian?
808
00:40:28,965 --> 00:40:30,330
You don't dance half bad.
809
00:40:30,331 --> 00:40:34,130
I dance damn good. Haven't
done it for a while.
810
00:40:34,131 --> 00:40:35,329
You should go out more often.
811
00:40:35,330 --> 00:40:38,196
Yeah, well, there's nothing
here that interests me.
812
00:40:38,197 --> 00:40:39,628
Then why are you here?
813
00:40:39,629 --> 00:40:42,296
I came to see you.
814
00:40:44,929 --> 00:40:46,327
You know, for a guy that
was on death's doorstep,
815
00:40:46,328 --> 00:40:47,960
you made a remarkable recovery.
816
00:40:47,961 --> 00:40:49,561
Well, I believe in the power of prayer
817
00:40:49,562 --> 00:40:52,060
and drugs.
818
00:40:52,061 --> 00:40:53,193
I told Mikey you'd be all right,
819
00:40:53,194 --> 00:40:54,326
but he had to come running back.
820
00:40:54,327 --> 00:40:56,458
What can I say? He's a sweetheart.
821
00:40:56,459 --> 00:40:58,225
That's because you're
all that matters to him.
822
00:40:58,226 --> 00:41:00,358
You're his world, his life.
823
00:41:00,359 --> 00:41:02,524
Everything he thinks about,
everything he dreams of,
824
00:41:02,525 --> 00:41:04,624
everything he knows.
825
00:41:04,625 --> 00:41:07,957
He's my best friend, since we were 14.
826
00:41:07,958 --> 00:41:09,557
That's 16 years of waiting.
827
00:41:09,558 --> 00:41:12,023
He's been waiting so long,
he actually thinks he's happy.
828
00:41:12,024 --> 00:41:13,923
But you and I both know
that he's never going to get
829
00:41:13,924 --> 00:41:17,488
what he really wants, is he?
830
00:41:17,489 --> 00:41:19,955
And what is that, Doc?
831
00:41:19,956 --> 00:41:23,587
For you to fuck him.
832
00:41:23,588 --> 00:41:25,053
And don't tell me you don't know it,
833
00:41:25,054 --> 00:41:26,986
and you love knowing it, don't you?
834
00:41:26,987 --> 00:41:28,553
You've been around for what, a week?
835
00:41:28,554 --> 00:41:32,220
You think you know him?
836
00:41:34,253 --> 00:41:38,584
You don't.
837
00:41:38,585 --> 00:41:41,184
I'd like to.
838
00:41:41,185 --> 00:41:44,384
But I never will, as
long as you're around.
839
00:41:44,385 --> 00:41:47,982
Maybe I should just disappear.
840
00:41:47,983 --> 00:41:49,916
You'd probably like that,
841
00:41:49,917 --> 00:41:52,549
and he probably wouldn't
think twice about it.
842
00:41:52,550 --> 00:41:55,081
But I'm not going to.
843
00:41:55,082 --> 00:41:57,514
I'm not going to disappear.
844
00:41:57,515 --> 00:42:00,780
Because I want him...
845
00:42:00,781 --> 00:42:04,979
Even more than you don't
want me to have him.
846
00:42:04,980 --> 00:42:07,445
So if you're really his best friend,
847
00:42:07,446 --> 00:42:10,512
give him a chance to be happy.
848
00:42:10,513 --> 00:42:12,411
To have a life.
849
00:42:12,412 --> 00:42:15,312
His own life.
850
00:42:16,878 --> 00:42:18,057
Let him go.
851
00:42:18,058 --> 00:42:21,160
[Tense techno music]
852
00:42:37,700 --> 00:42:42,700
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
853
00:43:10,177 --> 00:43:13,212
[Driving techno music]
60330
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