All language subtitles for 01Queer.as.folk.us.S01E01.HULU.WEBRip-NTb.English-WWW.MY-SUBS.CO(1)

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian Download
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,000 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 2 00:01:14,171 --> 00:01:17,503 ♪ Take me higher ♪ 3 00:01:17,504 --> 00:01:21,203 ♪ Take me higher ♪ 4 00:01:21,204 --> 00:01:24,070 ♪ Take me higher ♪ 5 00:01:24,071 --> 00:01:28,370 ♪ Take me higher ♪ 6 00:01:28,371 --> 00:01:30,104 The thing you need to know is, 7 00:01:30,105 --> 00:01:31,504 it's all about sex. 8 00:01:31,505 --> 00:01:33,370 It's true. 9 00:01:33,371 --> 00:01:36,504 In fact, they say men think about sex every 28 seconds. 10 00:01:36,505 --> 00:01:40,505 Of course, that's straight men. With gay men it's every 9. 11 00:01:40,506 --> 00:01:43,404 You can be at the supermarket or the laundromat 12 00:01:43,405 --> 00:01:45,171 or buying a fabulous shirt 13 00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:48,271 when suddenly you find yourself checking out some hot guy. 14 00:01:48,272 --> 00:01:49,938 Hotter than the one you saw last weekend 15 00:01:49,939 --> 00:01:51,404 or went home with the night before, 16 00:01:51,405 --> 00:01:53,438 which explains why we're all at Babylon 17 00:01:53,439 --> 00:01:57,005 at 1:00 in the morning instead of at home in bed. 18 00:01:57,006 --> 00:01:59,072 But who wants to be at home in bed? 19 00:01:59,073 --> 00:02:01,472 especially alone, when you can be here, 20 00:02:01,473 --> 00:02:05,305 knowing that at any moment you might see "him," 21 00:02:05,306 --> 00:02:08,873 the most beautiful man who ever lived. 22 00:02:08,874 --> 00:02:10,939 That is, until tomorrow night. 23 00:02:20,107 --> 00:02:23,939 By the way, that's me, 6'1," 46-inch chest, 24 00:02:23,940 --> 00:02:26,173 16-inch biceps, 28-inch waist. 25 00:02:26,174 --> 00:02:28,206 A veritable God... 26 00:02:28,207 --> 00:02:29,999 I wish. 27 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,040 I wish. 28 00:02:31,041 --> 00:02:32,840 Okay, that's me. 29 00:02:32,841 --> 00:02:34,140 Michael Novotny, the semi-cute 30 00:02:34,141 --> 00:02:35,540 "Boy Next Door" type. 31 00:02:35,541 --> 00:02:40,508 "29, 5'10," 140, 9-1/2 cut; All right, so I exaggerate, 32 00:02:40,509 --> 00:02:42,907 but like, who's told the truth since they invented cybersex? 33 00:02:46,942 --> 00:02:49,140 When did '70s night become '80s night? 34 00:02:49,141 --> 00:02:51,274 I remember this song from high school. 35 00:02:51,275 --> 00:02:52,474 Talk about feeling ancient. 36 00:02:52,475 --> 00:02:56,275 Speak for yourself, honey. I was a mere child. 37 00:02:56,276 --> 00:02:57,342 Those are my two buddies, 38 00:02:57,343 --> 00:02:59,075 Ted and Emmett. 39 00:02:59,076 --> 00:03:01,442 Give me those divas of disco any day. 40 00:03:01,443 --> 00:03:02,542 Gloria Gaynor. 41 00:03:02,543 --> 00:03:05,141 - Donna Summer. - And Miss Alicia Bridges. 42 00:03:05,142 --> 00:03:06,976 - ♪ I love the night life ♪ - Oh! 43 00:03:06,977 --> 00:03:09,042 ♪ I like to boogie ♪ 44 00:03:09,043 --> 00:03:10,442 ♪ On the disco round ♪ 45 00:03:10,443 --> 00:03:12,842 ♪ Ah-h-h-h ♪ 46 00:03:12,843 --> 00:03:14,942 Oh... my God. 47 00:03:14,943 --> 00:03:17,042 Have you ever seen anything more beautiful? 48 00:03:17,043 --> 00:03:19,042 Venice, at sunset. 49 00:03:19,043 --> 00:03:21,042 Fine, you go down the grand canal, 50 00:03:21,043 --> 00:03:22,343 I'll go down on him. 51 00:03:22,344 --> 00:03:25,042 Ooh... 52 00:03:25,043 --> 00:03:26,910 Emmett can be a little campy. 53 00:03:26,911 --> 00:03:29,043 Okay, a lot campy. But you got to admit, 54 00:03:29,044 --> 00:03:30,544 these days, it takes real guts 55 00:03:30,545 --> 00:03:32,810 to be a queen in a world full of commoners. 56 00:03:32,811 --> 00:03:34,244 The problem with perfection 57 00:03:34,245 --> 00:03:35,810 is its inability to recognize 58 00:03:35,811 --> 00:03:37,810 anything less perfect than itself. 59 00:03:37,811 --> 00:03:39,444 In other words, you hit on him, 60 00:03:39,445 --> 00:03:41,544 and he turned you down. 61 00:03:41,545 --> 00:03:43,511 Yeah. 62 00:03:43,512 --> 00:03:45,377 Ted's this really smart guy, 63 00:03:45,378 --> 00:03:46,944 and he's got a really big heart. 64 00:03:46,945 --> 00:03:50,078 Only, nobody here is interested in the size of that organ. 65 00:03:50,079 --> 00:03:51,310 Why am I wasting my time 66 00:03:51,311 --> 00:03:53,311 staring at a bunch of over-pumped princesses 67 00:03:53,312 --> 00:03:56,011 with IQs smaller than their waist... 68 00:03:56,012 --> 00:03:58,044 Jesus, look at him. 69 00:03:58,045 --> 00:04:00,312 Like I said, it's all about sex. 70 00:04:00,313 --> 00:04:02,144 Except when you're having it. 71 00:04:02,145 --> 00:04:04,778 And then it's all about, "will he stay? Will he go? 72 00:04:04,779 --> 00:04:07,912 How am I doing? What am I doing?" 73 00:04:07,913 --> 00:04:12,346 Unless, of course, you're Brian Kinney. 74 00:04:12,347 --> 00:04:14,778 And then it's, "who gives a fuck what you think?" 75 00:04:14,779 --> 00:04:16,845 You're lucky to have me." 76 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:27,779 I'll get Brian. 77 00:04:57,249 --> 00:04:59,214 - Hey, Todd, how's it going? - Fine. 78 00:05:04,115 --> 00:05:06,048 We need to go. 79 00:05:06,049 --> 00:05:08,048 We want to eat. 80 00:05:08,049 --> 00:05:09,381 I'm just going to give him my number. 81 00:05:09,382 --> 00:05:11,882 What'd you do, write it on your dick? 82 00:05:11,883 --> 00:05:16,249 How long is this going to take? 83 00:05:16,250 --> 00:05:17,948 Ten minutes. 84 00:05:17,949 --> 00:05:20,048 Tops. 85 00:05:31,284 --> 00:05:32,316 Hmm, Bruno. 86 00:05:32,317 --> 00:05:35,049 Love your outfit. 87 00:05:35,050 --> 00:05:38,283 Not everyone can wear tangerine. 88 00:05:38,284 --> 00:05:41,049 How long are we going to wait? I've got to work in the morning. 89 00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:42,850 Who doesn't? He said he'd be right out. 90 00:05:42,851 --> 00:05:44,183 Yeah, we've all heard that before. 91 00:05:44,184 --> 00:05:45,950 This is some great system he's got. 92 00:05:45,951 --> 00:05:48,717 He gets to party all night and you drive him home. 93 00:05:48,718 --> 00:05:50,317 It's no big deal, okay? 94 00:05:50,318 --> 00:05:54,418 Mm. Don't look now but, uh, somebody's watching. 95 00:05:57,252 --> 00:06:00,085 Oh, him. He has been cruising me all night. 96 00:06:00,086 --> 00:06:02,217 Mm, playing hard to get. 97 00:06:02,218 --> 00:06:04,051 I love that in a man. 98 00:06:04,052 --> 00:06:05,851 Not playing, just not interested. 99 00:06:05,852 --> 00:06:07,885 Check out that bubble butt. 100 00:06:07,886 --> 00:06:09,751 And that basket. 101 00:06:09,752 --> 00:06:11,651 Enough in there for the big, bad wolf. 102 00:06:11,652 --> 00:06:13,985 Would you quit staring? 103 00:06:13,986 --> 00:06:15,951 There's more to a guy than his cock size. 104 00:06:15,952 --> 00:06:17,051 Hmm. 105 00:06:17,052 --> 00:06:18,753 Look at that! 106 00:06:21,186 --> 00:06:23,185 Or his perfectly-shaped ass. 107 00:06:24,353 --> 00:06:25,952 Which is why you read all those comic books 108 00:06:25,953 --> 00:06:27,886 with those superheroes in their little tights... 109 00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:28,919 For the plot. 110 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:30,786 I told you, I am not interested. 111 00:06:30,787 --> 00:06:32,619 Well, maybe just for once you should be. 112 00:06:32,620 --> 00:06:34,152 Show a certain someone he's not the only one 113 00:06:34,153 --> 00:06:36,287 who can score. 114 00:07:12,855 --> 00:07:14,121 'Scuse me. 115 00:07:14,122 --> 00:07:16,655 Uh, could you tell me, like, 116 00:07:16,656 --> 00:07:19,321 where's a good place to go? 117 00:07:19,322 --> 00:07:21,955 Depends what you're looking for. 118 00:07:21,956 --> 00:07:23,889 You want twinkies, go to Boytoy. 119 00:07:23,890 --> 00:07:25,989 You want leather, go to the Meathook. 120 00:07:25,990 --> 00:07:27,722 If you want snotty, conceited assholes 121 00:07:27,723 --> 00:07:31,155 who think they're better than everybody else, try Pistol. 122 00:07:31,156 --> 00:07:33,122 It's kind of late to be out, though, isn't it? 123 00:07:33,123 --> 00:07:35,623 Especially on a school night. 124 00:07:35,624 --> 00:07:37,155 Why don't you come home with me, huh? 125 00:07:37,156 --> 00:07:39,089 No thanks. 126 00:07:39,090 --> 00:07:41,756 Go on home to your mommy. 127 00:07:41,757 --> 00:07:43,891 Go on. 128 00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,757 That was quick. 129 00:07:57,758 --> 00:08:00,958 Well, when you've had as much practice as he's had... 130 00:08:00,959 --> 00:08:02,657 I got bored. 131 00:08:02,658 --> 00:08:05,157 I know. Getting your dick sucked can be so tedious. 132 00:08:05,158 --> 00:08:06,524 Well, he looked pretty hot to me. 133 00:08:06,525 --> 00:08:08,892 Anybody would look hot to you. 134 00:08:25,993 --> 00:08:28,192 And that's when it happened. 135 00:08:28,193 --> 00:08:29,758 When he came along. 136 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:38,692 How's it going? 137 00:08:38,693 --> 00:08:41,726 You had a busy night? 138 00:08:41,727 --> 00:08:44,859 Just, uh, checking out the bars, you know? 139 00:08:44,860 --> 00:08:46,893 Boytoy, Meathook. 140 00:08:46,894 --> 00:08:49,826 The Meathook? Really? 141 00:08:49,827 --> 00:08:52,859 So you're into leather? 142 00:08:52,860 --> 00:08:55,727 Sure. 143 00:08:55,728 --> 00:08:56,993 Where you headed? 144 00:08:56,994 --> 00:09:00,628 No place special. 145 00:09:00,629 --> 00:09:03,060 I can change that. 146 00:09:03,061 --> 00:09:05,927 Hey! What about us? 147 00:09:05,928 --> 00:09:07,760 You can ride with Ted. 148 00:09:07,761 --> 00:09:09,761 - Thanks a lot. - Asshole! 149 00:09:12,061 --> 00:09:15,927 Well, if it isn't miss riding hood and her big basket. 150 00:09:15,928 --> 00:09:20,060 Find someone else to stalk. I'm not interested. 151 00:09:20,061 --> 00:09:22,029 Go home. 152 00:09:30,062 --> 00:09:31,095 Coming in? 153 00:09:31,096 --> 00:09:32,728 Hmm? 154 00:09:32,729 --> 00:09:35,462 Oh, yeah. 155 00:09:35,463 --> 00:09:37,630 Shut the door. 156 00:10:01,464 --> 00:10:04,564 This is a... really nice place. 157 00:10:15,598 --> 00:10:17,731 I like your kitchen. 158 00:10:17,732 --> 00:10:19,732 Do you like Special K? 159 00:10:21,099 --> 00:10:22,497 It's okay. 160 00:10:22,498 --> 00:10:25,397 I like Cheerios better. 161 00:10:25,398 --> 00:10:28,564 I don't mean the kind you eat with bananas. 162 00:10:28,565 --> 00:10:32,764 My disco-pharmacologist cooks this up for me. 163 00:10:32,765 --> 00:10:35,532 I'm really allergic to a lot of drugs. 164 00:10:35,533 --> 00:10:37,064 The doctor gave me penicillin once... 165 00:10:37,065 --> 00:10:38,498 nearly killed me. 166 00:10:38,499 --> 00:10:39,865 And... 167 00:10:39,866 --> 00:10:42,965 - Tylenol. - Tylenol? 168 00:10:42,966 --> 00:10:44,999 No one's allergic to Tylenol. Tylenol's what they give you 169 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,865 when you're allergic to everything else. 170 00:10:47,866 --> 00:10:48,999 Oh. 171 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:52,466 Well, uh, codeine. Codeine's the worst. 172 00:10:52,467 --> 00:10:53,733 Like, I get diarrhea 173 00:10:53,734 --> 00:10:56,633 and start vomiting uncontrollably at the same time. 174 00:10:56,634 --> 00:10:58,966 Well, we'll make sure and keep that one on the top shelf. 175 00:10:58,967 --> 00:11:05,432 Out of reach. 176 00:11:07,534 --> 00:11:09,334 So are you coming or going? 177 00:11:11,034 --> 00:11:14,400 Or coming and then going? 178 00:11:14,401 --> 00:11:16,367 Or coming and staying? 179 00:12:02,037 --> 00:12:03,502 Ohh! 180 00:12:33,839 --> 00:12:35,471 Thank you for the lift. 181 00:12:35,472 --> 00:12:36,972 - See ya. - Bye. 182 00:12:45,605 --> 00:12:47,638 Oh, my God, look. 183 00:12:47,639 --> 00:12:49,838 He must have followed us. 184 00:12:49,839 --> 00:12:52,572 Christ, that's just what I need. 185 00:12:52,573 --> 00:12:54,472 Honey, it's what we all need. 186 00:12:54,473 --> 00:12:57,272 Hey! When was the last time you got laid? 187 00:12:57,273 --> 00:12:58,572 My point exactly. 188 00:12:58,573 --> 00:13:01,672 If you can't remember, then it's time. 189 00:13:01,673 --> 00:13:03,373 Now, where are your manners? 190 00:13:03,374 --> 00:13:04,939 Go, uh, go invite the gentleman in 191 00:13:04,940 --> 00:13:06,972 while I make sure none of my fine washables 192 00:13:06,973 --> 00:13:08,740 are hanging in the tub. 193 00:13:34,441 --> 00:13:35,574 Don't come yet. 194 00:13:35,575 --> 00:13:38,607 Uhh, I'll try. 195 00:13:41,276 --> 00:13:43,341 Stop. 196 00:13:48,643 --> 00:13:50,408 So what do you like to do? 197 00:13:50,409 --> 00:13:52,441 Do? 198 00:13:52,442 --> 00:13:54,508 I don't know. 199 00:13:54,509 --> 00:13:57,542 Watch TV, play Tomb Raider. 200 00:13:57,543 --> 00:13:59,710 I mean in bed. 201 00:14:00,311 --> 00:14:01,709 Oh. 202 00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:06,376 This is fine. 203 00:14:06,377 --> 00:14:09,810 Are you a top or a bottom? 204 00:14:12,644 --> 00:14:14,442 Top... 205 00:14:14,443 --> 00:14:15,843 And bottom. 206 00:14:15,844 --> 00:14:17,876 Oh, you're versatile, then. 207 00:14:17,877 --> 00:14:19,576 And ambidextrous... 208 00:14:19,577 --> 00:14:21,210 Which was really confusing at first 209 00:14:21,211 --> 00:14:25,443 'cause I could never figure out which hand to throw with. 210 00:14:25,444 --> 00:14:26,809 Do you like to rim? 211 00:14:26,810 --> 00:14:28,410 Sure. 212 00:14:28,411 --> 00:14:29,677 I love it. 213 00:14:29,678 --> 00:14:33,143 Great. 214 00:14:33,144 --> 00:14:35,144 Go to it. 215 00:14:36,711 --> 00:14:38,177 Well? 216 00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:41,311 Um, what exactly do you mean? 217 00:14:45,412 --> 00:14:47,211 Yeah? 218 00:14:47,212 --> 00:14:49,344 What? 219 00:14:49,345 --> 00:14:51,344 When? 220 00:14:51,345 --> 00:14:52,444 Ohh. 221 00:14:52,445 --> 00:14:53,745 Are you kidding me? 222 00:14:53,746 --> 00:14:55,144 No, of course you're not kidding me. 223 00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:56,745 When did it happen? 224 00:14:56,746 --> 00:14:59,312 Why didn't you call me? 225 00:14:59,313 --> 00:15:02,678 Well, of course I was out. I can't believe it. 226 00:15:04,380 --> 00:15:06,245 - Agh! Ahh! - Shit! 227 00:15:06,246 --> 00:15:08,312 Jesus Christ! I told you not to. 228 00:15:08,313 --> 00:15:10,112 I tried. I'm sorry. 229 00:15:10,113 --> 00:15:11,412 - All over my new duvet. - I tried, I tried. 230 00:15:11,413 --> 00:15:13,812 Thank you very much. 231 00:15:13,813 --> 00:15:15,679 Oh, it'll wash out, won't it? 232 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:18,179 I mean, you should see my sheets at home. 233 00:15:18,180 --> 00:15:19,180 Just some kid. 234 00:15:19,181 --> 00:15:20,812 What's your name again? 235 00:15:20,813 --> 00:15:23,612 - Justin. - Justin. 236 00:15:23,613 --> 00:15:25,347 I'll be right there. 237 00:15:31,447 --> 00:15:33,113 Ooh, don't mind me. 238 00:15:33,114 --> 00:15:34,547 Just, uh, can't sleep 239 00:15:34,548 --> 00:15:36,580 without my milk and Oreos. 240 00:15:36,581 --> 00:15:38,314 That's my friend Emmett. 241 00:15:38,315 --> 00:15:39,413 He's staying with me temporarily 242 00:15:39,414 --> 00:15:41,414 since the hooker who lived down the hall from him 243 00:15:41,415 --> 00:15:44,648 burned his apartment building down two years ago. 244 00:15:44,649 --> 00:15:47,381 Two years is a long time to be temporary. 245 00:15:47,382 --> 00:15:49,548 And yet it hasn't interfered with my love life. 246 00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:52,848 Which, I suppose, says a lot about my love life. 247 00:15:52,849 --> 00:15:55,447 Do you mind if we skip the back story 248 00:15:55,448 --> 00:15:56,548 and cut to the chase? 249 00:15:56,549 --> 00:15:58,649 It's almost 2:00 in the morning. 250 00:16:03,349 --> 00:16:06,081 You have a great ass. 251 00:16:06,082 --> 00:16:07,715 Oh, yeah? 252 00:16:07,716 --> 00:16:09,582 Ohh. 253 00:16:09,583 --> 00:16:12,149 So do you. It's really... 254 00:16:18,350 --> 00:16:20,149 Firm. 255 00:16:20,150 --> 00:16:21,582 It's called "The Butt." 256 00:16:21,583 --> 00:16:23,149 I got it in a catalogue. 257 00:16:28,817 --> 00:16:30,384 Parts department. 258 00:16:30,385 --> 00:16:32,483 Melanie called. It's happened. 259 00:16:32,484 --> 00:16:33,783 What? Oh my God! When? 260 00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:35,783 I don't know, I had my damn cell phone off. 261 00:16:35,784 --> 00:16:37,716 I'm picking you up in two minutes. 262 00:16:37,717 --> 00:16:40,183 Now? I... 263 00:16:40,184 --> 00:16:43,350 Kind of got my hands full. 264 00:16:43,351 --> 00:16:44,417 "The Bulge." 265 00:16:44,418 --> 00:16:46,717 You order both, you get a discount. 266 00:16:46,718 --> 00:16:48,284 Who's that? 267 00:16:48,285 --> 00:16:49,417 Uh, no one. 268 00:16:49,418 --> 00:16:51,517 Mikey, you've got someone there with you. 269 00:16:51,518 --> 00:16:53,051 I can't believe it. 270 00:16:53,052 --> 00:16:54,551 You should only be here. 271 00:16:54,552 --> 00:16:56,251 Forget about it, don't let me bother you. 272 00:16:56,252 --> 00:16:57,751 Fuck the shit out of him. 273 00:16:57,752 --> 00:17:00,085 No, wait. Pick me up. I'm... I'm ready. 274 00:17:00,086 --> 00:17:01,419 Now. 275 00:17:02,619 --> 00:17:04,285 We going to do this or not? 276 00:17:04,286 --> 00:17:06,685 I am really, really sorry. 277 00:17:06,686 --> 00:17:09,585 Um, a friend of mine needs me. It's an emergency. 278 00:17:09,586 --> 00:17:12,019 - Shit. After all that? - I know. 279 00:17:12,020 --> 00:17:13,418 I promise we'll reschedule though. 280 00:17:13,419 --> 00:17:15,352 No ifs, ands or... 281 00:17:19,253 --> 00:17:20,718 - What's going on? - Everything. 282 00:17:20,719 --> 00:17:22,652 Come on, get up. You gotta go. 283 00:17:22,653 --> 00:17:24,219 - Where? - Home. 284 00:17:24,220 --> 00:17:25,686 I can't go home now. My... 285 00:17:25,687 --> 00:17:27,419 my parents think I'm staying at a friend's. 286 00:17:27,420 --> 00:17:28,586 You live with your parents? 287 00:17:28,587 --> 00:17:30,287 Well, I'm still in school. 288 00:17:30,288 --> 00:17:32,386 I mean, college. 289 00:17:32,387 --> 00:17:34,719 - What year are you in? - Junior. 290 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,553 Sophomore. Between my junior and sophomore year. 291 00:17:37,554 --> 00:17:38,619 How old are you? 292 00:17:38,620 --> 00:17:42,253 21. 293 00:17:42,254 --> 00:17:44,587 What year were you born? 294 00:17:44,588 --> 00:17:46,453 1979. 295 00:17:46,454 --> 00:17:48,520 Bullshit. You had to think before you answered that. 296 00:17:48,521 --> 00:17:50,687 How old are you really? 297 00:17:50,688 --> 00:17:54,587 20. 298 00:17:54,588 --> 00:17:55,955 19. 299 00:17:59,222 --> 00:18:00,255 18. 300 00:18:00,256 --> 00:18:03,121 Well, what is this, a missile launch? 301 00:18:03,122 --> 00:18:05,054 17. 302 00:18:05,055 --> 00:18:08,454 What is with kids today? 303 00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:11,254 We just want to get laid, like everybody else. 304 00:18:11,255 --> 00:18:13,321 Have you ever been with anyone before? 305 00:18:13,322 --> 00:18:15,222 Sure. 306 00:18:15,223 --> 00:18:18,688 Well, not exactly. 307 00:18:18,689 --> 00:18:20,989 This is sort of my first. 308 00:18:22,189 --> 00:18:24,322 I figured. 309 00:18:24,323 --> 00:18:25,657 Kind of young, aren't you? 310 00:18:27,623 --> 00:18:30,156 Well, I was 14 my first time. 311 00:18:30,157 --> 00:18:32,355 - That's really young. - With my gym teacher. 312 00:18:32,356 --> 00:18:33,989 I bet he was some old perv. 313 00:18:33,990 --> 00:18:39,223 That old perv was probably the same age that I am now. 314 00:18:39,224 --> 00:18:41,989 It was after school in the locker rooms. 315 00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:44,223 He was taking a shower. 316 00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:46,056 I went back for something. 317 00:18:46,057 --> 00:18:48,456 A book, my jockstrap... 318 00:18:48,457 --> 00:18:51,557 I don't remember. 319 00:18:51,558 --> 00:18:54,523 Anyway, there he was, all naked, soaping himself. 320 00:18:54,524 --> 00:18:56,423 He saw me there, 321 00:18:56,424 --> 00:18:59,391 a big boner under my chinos. 322 00:19:01,325 --> 00:19:03,990 Shit. I walked right into the showers 323 00:19:03,991 --> 00:19:05,224 with all my clothes on. 324 00:19:05,225 --> 00:19:06,257 No. 325 00:19:06,258 --> 00:19:07,424 Got down on my knees 326 00:19:07,425 --> 00:19:09,391 and sucked him off right there. 327 00:19:09,392 --> 00:19:11,291 He let you? 328 00:19:11,292 --> 00:19:13,524 Let me? 329 00:19:13,525 --> 00:19:14,658 He loved it. 330 00:19:14,659 --> 00:19:17,258 I bet you were scared. 331 00:19:17,259 --> 00:19:21,393 Well, I guess we're all a little scared our first time. 332 00:19:26,860 --> 00:19:29,226 But I don't remember anymore. 333 00:19:44,127 --> 00:19:45,326 You brought him? 334 00:19:45,327 --> 00:19:47,326 He's got nowhere to go. 335 00:19:47,327 --> 00:19:48,561 Get in. 336 00:19:49,460 --> 00:19:51,393 Jeez. 337 00:20:16,329 --> 00:20:18,128 Oh, my God. 338 00:20:18,129 --> 00:20:19,595 Say hello to your son. 339 00:20:22,563 --> 00:20:25,029 Well, go on. 340 00:20:32,297 --> 00:20:33,528 When did it start? 341 00:20:33,529 --> 00:20:35,296 Around 7:00. 342 00:20:35,297 --> 00:20:37,962 Six hours later, there he was. 343 00:20:37,963 --> 00:20:40,195 Oh, I wish I could have been here. 344 00:20:40,196 --> 00:20:42,362 How often do I get to see snatch? 345 00:20:44,096 --> 00:20:46,195 Looks just like you. 346 00:20:46,196 --> 00:20:49,262 I guess he must be mine then. 347 00:20:49,263 --> 00:20:51,497 Want to hold him? 348 00:20:53,864 --> 00:20:55,330 Okay, careful. Don't drop him. 349 00:20:55,331 --> 00:20:57,330 That's just what I was planning on doing. 350 00:21:00,532 --> 00:21:02,130 We've been thinking of names. 351 00:21:02,131 --> 00:21:04,996 Mel wants to call him Abraham, after her grandfather, 352 00:21:04,997 --> 00:21:07,065 but I like Gus. 353 00:21:10,498 --> 00:21:11,965 What do you think? 354 00:21:14,265 --> 00:21:18,131 You wouldn't survive a day at school being named Abraham. 355 00:21:18,132 --> 00:21:19,964 But I guess Gus is okay. 356 00:21:19,965 --> 00:21:22,531 Thank you very much, and who the hell are you? 357 00:21:22,532 --> 00:21:23,998 His name's J... 358 00:21:25,499 --> 00:21:27,098 Justin. 359 00:21:27,099 --> 00:21:29,198 You were on the phone when he shot his load all over me. 360 00:21:32,133 --> 00:21:33,332 Oh, Brian! 361 00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:35,399 He can't help it. 362 00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,399 He's only 17. 363 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:40,399 So you and Lindsay each had an infant tonight. 364 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,766 Yeah, but mine doesn't suck on my tits. 365 00:21:42,767 --> 00:21:43,899 Not unless I want him to. 366 00:21:46,466 --> 00:21:49,399 "Gus." It's a good, butch name. 367 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:51,266 Come on, Gus, 368 00:21:51,267 --> 00:21:53,832 give your daddy a smile. 369 00:22:06,801 --> 00:22:09,400 It's disgusting, all those lesbians 370 00:22:09,401 --> 00:22:11,967 fawning over him and making goo-goo talk. 371 00:22:11,968 --> 00:22:17,067 That's what women do over babies. 372 00:22:17,068 --> 00:22:19,735 Who's talking about the baby? I mean Justin. 373 00:22:24,302 --> 00:22:27,102 It's kind of weird, you having a kid. 374 00:22:28,368 --> 00:22:30,368 Still, it's exciting, isn't it? 375 00:22:30,369 --> 00:22:34,701 What? Having some wrinkled little time clock ticking away? 376 00:22:34,702 --> 00:22:37,335 Reminding you that you're getting older by the minute. 377 00:22:37,336 --> 00:22:38,834 By the second? 378 00:22:38,835 --> 00:22:40,101 Keep thinking like that 379 00:22:40,102 --> 00:22:42,001 you're going to end up prematurely gray. 380 00:22:42,002 --> 00:22:44,335 Oh, I think I see one. 381 00:22:44,336 --> 00:22:46,103 Ow! 382 00:22:50,337 --> 00:22:52,669 Why didn't somebody try and stop me? 383 00:22:52,670 --> 00:22:54,802 Hello? Somebody did. 384 00:22:54,803 --> 00:22:56,236 But you wouldn't listen. You had to let Lindsay 385 00:22:56,237 --> 00:22:58,670 fill your head with all her bullshit flattery. 386 00:22:58,671 --> 00:23:00,837 "Oh, Brian, you're so good looking. 387 00:23:00,838 --> 00:23:04,069 Oh, oh, Brian, y... y... you're so smart. 388 00:23:04,070 --> 00:23:06,236 Oh, oh, you've got such great genes, Brian, 389 00:23:06,237 --> 00:23:10,237 and I don't mean your 501s." 390 00:23:10,238 --> 00:23:13,404 And now you're stuck with a kid. 391 00:23:13,405 --> 00:23:16,104 For life. 392 00:23:20,204 --> 00:23:23,338 Well, there is always one solution. 393 00:23:29,672 --> 00:23:31,771 I could end it all right now. 394 00:23:31,772 --> 00:23:34,771 Oh, that'd be dramatic. 395 00:23:34,772 --> 00:23:37,971 Just like ER, birth and death in the same episode. 396 00:23:37,972 --> 00:23:40,305 Now get down! 397 00:23:40,306 --> 00:23:41,772 No, you'll have to come get me. 398 00:23:41,773 --> 00:23:44,039 I'm serious. Stop clowning. 399 00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:45,672 Or I'll jump! 400 00:24:08,807 --> 00:24:11,706 Come on, Mikey, let's fly. 401 00:24:11,707 --> 00:24:14,308 Like in all those comic books. 402 00:24:18,274 --> 00:24:21,607 I'm Superman. 403 00:24:21,608 --> 00:24:23,273 I'll show you the world. 404 00:24:23,274 --> 00:24:26,273 Why am I always Lois Lane? 405 00:24:46,342 --> 00:24:47,675 Congratulations... 406 00:24:50,076 --> 00:24:51,254 Dad. 407 00:25:10,144 --> 00:25:11,843 Sorry. 408 00:25:14,077 --> 00:25:15,109 Honestly. 409 00:25:15,110 --> 00:25:16,610 Fucked him. 410 00:25:16,611 --> 00:25:17,777 You did not. You looked at him. 411 00:25:17,778 --> 00:25:19,209 That may appear to be what happened, 412 00:25:19,210 --> 00:25:20,710 but we did it all. 413 00:25:20,711 --> 00:25:22,243 Oh, yeah? And how was he? 414 00:25:22,244 --> 00:25:24,243 Fabulous. 415 00:25:24,244 --> 00:25:25,843 - Want one? - No. 416 00:25:25,844 --> 00:25:29,077 More for me. 417 00:25:29,078 --> 00:25:31,077 Listen, you're going to go say good night to Lindsay. 418 00:25:31,078 --> 00:25:32,944 You're going to go home, go to bed, 419 00:25:32,945 --> 00:25:35,611 and get up and go to work for the next 20 years 420 00:25:35,612 --> 00:25:37,778 to support your kid. 421 00:25:37,779 --> 00:25:39,878 You see this line, how deep it is? 422 00:25:39,879 --> 00:25:41,511 That means you're very creative. 423 00:25:41,512 --> 00:25:42,811 That's true. 424 00:25:42,812 --> 00:25:44,178 I want to be a cartoonist or a computer animator. 425 00:25:44,179 --> 00:25:46,644 It's far too lesbianic out here for a young boy. 426 00:25:46,645 --> 00:25:48,678 Out. 427 00:25:48,679 --> 00:25:50,079 I'll meet you out front. 428 00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:56,745 I'm sorry, sir, you'll have to come back tomorrow. 429 00:25:56,746 --> 00:25:58,078 The mother needs her rest. 430 00:25:58,079 --> 00:25:59,278 And so does the father. 431 00:25:59,279 --> 00:26:01,646 It's okay, Nurse. 432 00:26:05,013 --> 00:26:07,812 Sweet dreams, Sonny Boy. 433 00:26:07,813 --> 00:26:09,746 First night on earth. 434 00:26:10,947 --> 00:26:14,046 Hon, could you get me some ice and maybe something fizzy? 435 00:26:14,047 --> 00:26:15,546 How about some ginger ale? 436 00:26:15,547 --> 00:26:18,681 Mm. Mwah. 437 00:26:22,180 --> 00:26:23,680 Uh, anything for you? 438 00:26:23,681 --> 00:26:26,814 Uh, if you see any amyl nitrate laying around. 439 00:26:34,548 --> 00:26:35,781 Alone at last. 440 00:26:35,782 --> 00:26:39,647 Careful. 441 00:26:39,648 --> 00:26:43,547 Well, here we are. 442 00:26:43,548 --> 00:26:46,514 Ma and Pa. 443 00:26:47,882 --> 00:26:49,182 Hey. 444 00:26:52,449 --> 00:26:55,048 Don't mind me. 445 00:26:55,049 --> 00:26:57,950 Just feeling a little... vulnerable. 446 00:27:04,549 --> 00:27:07,049 I promise not to tell. 447 00:27:07,050 --> 00:27:09,549 Who would have thought? 448 00:27:09,550 --> 00:27:10,949 You and me. 449 00:27:10,950 --> 00:27:14,182 Parents. 450 00:27:14,183 --> 00:27:18,182 It's pretty scary, boys and girls. 451 00:27:18,183 --> 00:27:21,516 - Think it's too late to return it? - We could try. 452 00:27:26,917 --> 00:27:28,983 I guess this means we're finally grown-ups. 453 00:27:28,984 --> 00:27:30,717 "Don't say that, Wendy, 454 00:27:30,718 --> 00:27:31,950 we'll never grow up." 455 00:27:31,951 --> 00:27:34,016 Don't be scared. 456 00:27:34,017 --> 00:27:38,084 Hell, if our parents could fuck up, so can we. 457 00:27:41,651 --> 00:27:43,517 I don't want you to worry. 458 00:27:43,518 --> 00:27:44,984 About money, I mean. 459 00:27:44,985 --> 00:27:46,483 If you need anything... 460 00:27:46,484 --> 00:27:49,051 no, we'll be all right. 461 00:27:49,052 --> 00:27:50,918 But thanks. 462 00:27:56,485 --> 00:27:58,084 I would've fucked you, you know? 463 00:27:58,085 --> 00:27:59,999 Ohh. 464 00:28:00,054 --> 00:28:01,384 If I wasn't afraid 465 00:28:01,385 --> 00:28:02,551 your lover'd beat the shit out of me. 466 00:28:02,552 --> 00:28:04,118 Stop. 467 00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:05,484 I mean it. 468 00:28:05,485 --> 00:28:07,085 She could take out Oscar de la Renta. 469 00:28:07,086 --> 00:28:10,519 You mean La Hoya. 470 00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:12,785 Whatever. 471 00:28:12,786 --> 00:28:16,385 Well, you had plenty of chances. 472 00:28:16,386 --> 00:28:18,719 And I took advantage of a few, if I recall. 473 00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:21,686 It wasn't half bad. 474 00:28:21,687 --> 00:28:24,053 Now you tell me? 475 00:28:24,054 --> 00:28:27,686 You mean I could have been straight this whole time? 476 00:28:27,687 --> 00:28:30,588 I wouldn't say that. 477 00:28:30,589 --> 00:28:33,387 Well, then I guess it's just as well. 478 00:28:42,055 --> 00:28:44,021 Ice? 479 00:28:45,588 --> 00:28:47,954 Tick-tick-tick. 480 00:28:47,955 --> 00:28:49,987 Tick. 481 00:28:49,988 --> 00:28:51,421 Tick. 482 00:28:51,422 --> 00:28:52,521 Tick. 483 00:28:52,522 --> 00:28:53,854 Tick. 484 00:28:53,855 --> 00:28:56,854 What are you doing? 485 00:28:56,855 --> 00:28:58,654 I'm just repeating the first words 486 00:28:58,655 --> 00:29:00,322 my Sonny Boy said to me. 487 00:29:00,323 --> 00:29:02,421 It wasn't "da-da." 488 00:29:02,422 --> 00:29:05,754 It was, "tick-tick-tick-tick." 489 00:29:05,755 --> 00:29:09,622 Smart little fucker. 490 00:29:09,623 --> 00:29:11,722 He can tell time already. 491 00:29:11,723 --> 00:29:14,922 Brian, what did you take? 492 00:29:14,923 --> 00:29:19,488 ♪ A-b-c-d-e-e-e ♪ 493 00:29:20,723 --> 00:29:23,623 I'm just teaching my kid the alphabet. 494 00:29:26,023 --> 00:29:27,956 I'm going to fuck you. 495 00:29:27,957 --> 00:29:32,323 I'm going to fuck you all... night. 496 00:29:46,325 --> 00:29:47,490 Shit! 497 00:29:47,491 --> 00:29:49,624 Sorry, I didn't want to hit that doggie. 498 00:29:49,625 --> 00:29:51,390 Fuck the doggie. 499 00:29:51,391 --> 00:29:52,824 Okay, boy wonder. 500 00:29:52,825 --> 00:29:54,724 I'm taking you home. Where do I turn? 501 00:29:54,725 --> 00:29:55,857 He's going with me. 502 00:29:55,858 --> 00:29:57,324 Oh, no, he's not. 503 00:29:57,325 --> 00:29:59,657 Pop quiz. No talking. 504 00:29:59,658 --> 00:30:01,824 Here's a question. Multiple choice. 505 00:30:01,825 --> 00:30:03,358 Do you want to come home with me? 506 00:30:03,359 --> 00:30:04,857 "A," yes. 507 00:30:04,858 --> 00:30:06,757 "B," yes. 508 00:30:06,758 --> 00:30:09,391 Or "C," yes. 509 00:30:09,392 --> 00:30:10,692 Tick, tick, tick. Time's up. 510 00:30:10,693 --> 00:30:13,592 Pencils down. What do you say? 511 00:30:13,593 --> 00:30:15,625 None of the above. 512 00:30:15,626 --> 00:30:18,392 - He's going home. - I'm going with him. 513 00:30:20,559 --> 00:30:22,892 Good boy. 514 00:30:22,893 --> 00:30:25,026 You get an A-plus. 515 00:30:45,227 --> 00:30:47,894 Now you know what rimming is. 516 00:30:50,628 --> 00:30:53,327 He calls me, practically begs me to go with him, 517 00:30:53,328 --> 00:30:54,827 knowing full well I'm with someone 518 00:30:54,828 --> 00:30:56,827 for the first time in I don't know how long. 519 00:30:56,828 --> 00:30:59,694 Seven months, two weeks, and three days. 520 00:30:59,695 --> 00:31:01,361 Thank you. 521 00:31:01,362 --> 00:31:03,361 And even though the guy wasn't all he was cracked up to be... 522 00:31:03,362 --> 00:31:05,261 We'll let that remark pass. 523 00:31:05,262 --> 00:31:07,294 At least he wanted me. 524 00:31:07,295 --> 00:31:08,429 Me. 525 00:31:11,829 --> 00:31:14,895 God, I am so horny! 526 00:31:14,896 --> 00:31:17,227 Poor baby. 527 00:31:17,228 --> 00:31:18,628 Well, I have just the thing. 528 00:31:18,629 --> 00:31:20,494 A new porn video. 529 00:31:20,495 --> 00:31:24,429 It all takes place in a prisoner-of-war camp. 530 00:31:24,430 --> 00:31:27,596 "Hot, horny men starved for action." 531 00:31:27,597 --> 00:31:29,495 I can relate to that. 532 00:31:29,496 --> 00:31:32,362 Guaranteed to make your privates stand up and salute. 533 00:31:32,363 --> 00:31:33,629 Schindler's Fist? 534 00:31:35,363 --> 00:31:38,262 Here, I will leave you two alone. 535 00:31:38,263 --> 00:31:39,529 I'm sure you're going to have a deep, 536 00:31:39,530 --> 00:31:41,629 meaningful relationship. 537 00:31:41,630 --> 00:31:43,431 Good night. 538 00:31:48,397 --> 00:31:51,496 Okay, private, drop trou and bend over. 539 00:31:51,497 --> 00:31:52,630 For my physical, sir? 540 00:31:52,631 --> 00:31:54,463 No, target practice. 541 00:31:54,464 --> 00:31:55,597 Yes, sir. 542 00:31:57,230 --> 00:31:58,797 Put your legs up... 543 00:31:58,798 --> 00:32:02,730 On my shoulders. 544 00:32:02,731 --> 00:32:04,231 That's it. 545 00:32:05,798 --> 00:32:07,397 Oh, wait. 546 00:32:07,398 --> 00:32:09,431 In school, we had this lecture... 547 00:32:09,432 --> 00:32:12,397 About safe sex. 548 00:32:12,398 --> 00:32:15,165 And now we're going to have a demonstration. 549 00:32:18,365 --> 00:32:19,365 Ptuh! 550 00:32:21,433 --> 00:32:23,698 Put it on me. 551 00:32:23,699 --> 00:32:25,599 Go on. 552 00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:28,166 Slip it on my dick. 553 00:32:38,300 --> 00:32:40,599 Ah! It's cold. 554 00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:42,133 It'll heat up. 555 00:32:44,267 --> 00:32:45,499 Just... 556 00:32:45,500 --> 00:32:47,467 Go slow, okay? 557 00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:56,600 Agh! 558 00:32:56,601 --> 00:32:59,334 Ah! Ah! 559 00:32:59,335 --> 00:33:02,100 It hurts. 560 00:33:02,101 --> 00:33:03,467 Does it always hurt? 561 00:33:03,468 --> 00:33:06,634 A little bit. 562 00:33:06,635 --> 00:33:09,601 But that's a part of it. 563 00:33:12,468 --> 00:33:13,568 Now relax. 564 00:33:17,169 --> 00:33:21,701 I want you to always remember this. 565 00:33:21,702 --> 00:33:27,468 So that no matter who you're ever with... 566 00:33:27,469 --> 00:33:30,836 I'll always be there. 567 00:34:50,740 --> 00:34:54,606 What the fuck are you doing here? 568 00:34:54,607 --> 00:34:58,572 You said I could stay. 569 00:34:58,573 --> 00:34:59,739 Right. 570 00:34:59,740 --> 00:35:01,540 Your parents. 571 00:35:01,541 --> 00:35:04,274 They think you're at a friend's. 572 00:35:11,407 --> 00:35:14,307 Jesus Christ! What the hell happened? 573 00:35:17,208 --> 00:35:19,174 Don't tell me. 574 00:35:19,175 --> 00:35:20,574 I was doing handstands. 575 00:35:20,575 --> 00:35:22,240 And juggling. 576 00:35:22,241 --> 00:35:24,341 You're not very good. 577 00:35:24,342 --> 00:35:26,374 Shit. 578 00:35:26,375 --> 00:35:29,574 Why do I do these things? 579 00:35:29,575 --> 00:35:31,307 I'll tell you why. 580 00:35:31,308 --> 00:35:34,275 It was that fucking pig Anita. 581 00:35:34,276 --> 00:35:36,541 She told me that was "E." That wasn't "E," 582 00:35:36,542 --> 00:35:39,608 that was some shit they cooked up in a bathtub in Tijuana. 583 00:35:39,609 --> 00:35:41,508 That's why you should never take drugs 584 00:35:41,509 --> 00:35:43,241 that aren't prescribed by a physician 585 00:35:43,242 --> 00:35:46,676 or recommended by a reliable pharmacist. 586 00:35:50,209 --> 00:35:51,342 What are you, 587 00:35:51,343 --> 00:35:53,676 a public service announcement? 588 00:35:55,710 --> 00:35:57,942 Get dressed, I'll drive you home. 589 00:35:57,943 --> 00:36:00,676 You can't. 590 00:36:00,677 --> 00:36:03,643 - Michael has the car. - Why has he got it? 591 00:36:03,644 --> 00:36:05,476 - You were too high... - I know what happened. 592 00:36:05,477 --> 00:36:07,576 I was there. 593 00:36:07,577 --> 00:36:11,176 I remember everything... 594 00:36:11,177 --> 00:36:12,444 Perfectly. 595 00:36:15,044 --> 00:36:16,443 What was your name again? 596 00:36:16,444 --> 00:36:19,510 Justin. 597 00:36:19,511 --> 00:36:22,910 Yeah, right. 598 00:36:25,211 --> 00:36:26,510 Can I take a shower? 599 00:36:26,511 --> 00:36:29,044 Yeah, but hurry up. 600 00:36:29,045 --> 00:36:31,444 It's through there... 601 00:36:31,445 --> 00:36:33,545 I think. 602 00:36:44,512 --> 00:36:46,133 Where the hell are you? I've been trying your cell. 603 00:36:46,134 --> 00:36:49,045 It's turned off. If you're there, pick up! 604 00:36:49,046 --> 00:36:51,211 Brian? Listen, Lindsay's water broke. 605 00:36:51,212 --> 00:36:53,913 She's having contractions. We're at the hospital. 606 00:36:56,946 --> 00:36:58,979 Fuck! I have a baby. 607 00:37:01,447 --> 00:37:03,579 Ow! Ow! 608 00:37:03,580 --> 00:37:06,046 Two babies. 609 00:37:18,880 --> 00:37:22,146 Holy shit! 610 00:37:22,147 --> 00:37:24,246 You little bastards! Get the fuck away from there! 611 00:37:24,247 --> 00:37:25,980 - Faggot! - Queer! 612 00:37:25,981 --> 00:37:27,280 Faggot! 613 00:37:27,281 --> 00:37:28,880 Who you calling a faggot? 614 00:37:28,881 --> 00:37:31,182 - We've seen you! - Fucking queer! 615 00:37:48,182 --> 00:37:50,448 Mornin'. 616 00:37:50,449 --> 00:37:52,448 Oh, my lord. 617 00:37:52,449 --> 00:37:53,548 Motherfuckers! 618 00:37:53,549 --> 00:37:55,449 I'm calling the cops. 619 00:37:55,450 --> 00:37:57,382 Brian is going to have a fit. 620 00:37:57,383 --> 00:37:59,881 You know how he feels about his Jeep. 621 00:37:59,882 --> 00:38:01,415 Well, if he cares so much about it 622 00:38:01,416 --> 00:38:03,148 then he shouldn't have lent it to me. 623 00:38:03,149 --> 00:38:06,182 He knows what a terrible neighborhood this is. 624 00:38:06,183 --> 00:38:08,382 Well, I, uh, I was going to ask for a lift to work, 625 00:38:08,383 --> 00:38:11,283 but, on second thought, I think I'll walk. 626 00:38:11,284 --> 00:38:13,916 Have a nice day. 627 00:38:13,917 --> 00:38:16,050 Shit! 628 00:38:30,551 --> 00:38:32,517 Ahh. 629 00:38:40,318 --> 00:38:43,317 Why didn't you tell me I had a kid? 630 00:38:43,318 --> 00:38:45,217 You said you remembered everything. 631 00:38:45,218 --> 00:38:48,451 Ohh, it all happened so fast. 632 00:38:48,452 --> 00:38:50,251 What's his name again? 633 00:38:50,252 --> 00:38:52,018 Gus. 634 00:38:52,019 --> 00:38:54,018 I'm the one who decided. 635 00:38:56,752 --> 00:38:58,018 Did you actually fuck her? 636 00:38:58,019 --> 00:39:00,119 - Who? - Lindsay. 637 00:39:00,120 --> 00:39:03,452 - You're awfully rude. - Well, did you? 638 00:39:03,453 --> 00:39:05,352 I jerked off in a cup, 639 00:39:05,353 --> 00:39:07,285 and they squirted it up her. 640 00:39:07,286 --> 00:39:08,418 Gross. 641 00:39:08,419 --> 00:39:10,418 She must have really wanted a kid. 642 00:39:10,419 --> 00:39:12,952 Most women do. 643 00:39:12,953 --> 00:39:14,752 Even lesbians? 644 00:39:14,753 --> 00:39:18,086 Lesbians are women... 645 00:39:18,087 --> 00:39:20,753 Sort of. 646 00:39:20,754 --> 00:39:24,086 My mom says sometimes she wished she never had me. 647 00:39:24,087 --> 00:39:25,419 That's probably because she's stuck 648 00:39:25,420 --> 00:39:28,754 with this annoying brat for the rest of her life. 649 00:39:32,221 --> 00:39:34,720 So... Are you going to raise him? 650 00:39:34,721 --> 00:39:36,753 Me? 651 00:39:36,754 --> 00:39:39,020 No way. 652 00:39:39,021 --> 00:39:41,387 The munchers are. 653 00:39:41,388 --> 00:39:44,187 But I'll be around to provide the masculine influence 654 00:39:44,188 --> 00:39:48,021 so important in every young boy's life. 655 00:39:48,022 --> 00:39:50,121 I bet Melanie could do it better than you. 656 00:39:50,122 --> 00:39:52,887 Don't get smart or I'll have to spank you. 657 00:39:52,888 --> 00:39:55,255 Really? 658 00:40:07,422 --> 00:40:11,389 You up for one more? 659 00:40:21,223 --> 00:40:24,456 Brian! 660 00:40:36,257 --> 00:40:40,091 Christ! Didn't you get enough last night? 661 00:40:42,358 --> 00:40:47,124 There is no such thing as enough. 662 00:40:47,125 --> 00:40:49,690 Besides, I couldn't send him off 663 00:40:49,691 --> 00:40:52,857 without a nourishing, high-protein breakfast. 664 00:40:52,858 --> 00:40:55,924 It's grrrreat! 665 00:41:00,425 --> 00:41:01,825 Will you come on? 666 00:41:01,826 --> 00:41:04,424 I'm not going to be late because of you. 667 00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:18,092 I said hurry up! 668 00:41:24,292 --> 00:41:25,892 Yeah, what did she say? 669 00:41:25,893 --> 00:41:28,260 She said, "don't be late." 670 00:41:30,027 --> 00:41:32,659 Oh, that's beautiful, Mikey. 671 00:41:32,660 --> 00:41:34,360 Just beautiful. 672 00:41:34,361 --> 00:41:35,726 It's not my fault. 673 00:41:35,727 --> 00:41:38,159 I told you about those two psychopaths down the street. 674 00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:39,727 What, a couple of 12-year-olds? 675 00:41:39,728 --> 00:41:41,727 They start early these days. 676 00:41:41,728 --> 00:41:43,293 What are you laughing at? 677 00:41:43,294 --> 00:41:44,827 Nothing. 678 00:41:44,828 --> 00:41:47,227 You. 679 00:41:47,228 --> 00:41:49,961 You sound like my parents fighting. 680 00:41:52,694 --> 00:41:53,893 It doesn't matter anyway. 681 00:41:53,894 --> 00:41:55,828 It's a company car. 682 00:41:57,961 --> 00:42:00,729 Well, come on, we have to take the child to school. 683 00:42:00,730 --> 00:42:03,127 In this? 684 00:42:03,128 --> 00:42:06,261 You care? 685 00:42:06,262 --> 00:42:08,029 Fuck, no. 686 00:42:27,863 --> 00:42:29,162 No way! 687 00:42:29,163 --> 00:42:31,296 - Look at that. - Look at this. 688 00:42:32,997 --> 00:42:35,129 Here we are, Sonny Boy. 689 00:42:35,130 --> 00:42:37,096 And be sure to come home right after school. 690 00:42:37,097 --> 00:42:38,663 No lingering on the playground 691 00:42:38,664 --> 00:42:40,997 or in the locker room with the gym teacher. 692 00:42:40,998 --> 00:42:44,197 Oh, you did not tell him about that? 693 00:42:44,198 --> 00:42:46,596 It's the most famous shower scene since Psycho. 694 00:42:46,597 --> 00:42:48,930 Hey, Justin! 695 00:42:48,931 --> 00:42:51,230 You want to suck me off? 696 00:42:51,231 --> 00:42:54,230 No, but I'll kick your tight little virgin ass so hard 697 00:42:54,231 --> 00:42:55,697 you won't sit down for a week. 698 00:42:59,698 --> 00:43:01,932 Can we get out of here? 699 00:43:03,798 --> 00:43:05,264 When can I see you again? 700 00:43:05,265 --> 00:43:06,764 You can see me right now. 701 00:43:06,765 --> 00:43:08,597 I mean later, tonight. 702 00:43:09,865 --> 00:43:12,998 Who knows where I'll be later tonight. 703 00:43:12,999 --> 00:43:15,298 Better go. 704 00:43:15,299 --> 00:43:18,898 Please? 705 00:43:18,899 --> 00:43:20,532 I'll see you in your dreams. 706 00:43:35,866 --> 00:43:37,065 Oh, my God. 707 00:43:42,700 --> 00:43:44,599 Where have you been? 708 00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:46,100 Your mom called. 709 00:43:46,101 --> 00:43:47,766 I didn't know what to tell her. 710 00:43:47,767 --> 00:43:49,766 I said you were still asleep. 711 00:43:49,767 --> 00:43:52,533 I just saw the face of God. 712 00:43:52,534 --> 00:43:53,667 Huh? 713 00:43:53,668 --> 00:43:56,100 His name is Brian Kinney. 714 00:43:57,967 --> 00:43:59,800 Thank God he's finally gone. 715 00:43:59,801 --> 00:44:02,001 He almost wore me out. 716 00:44:02,002 --> 00:44:04,634 Somebody wore you out? 717 00:44:04,635 --> 00:44:08,134 I said almost. 718 00:44:08,135 --> 00:44:10,067 I'll drop you by the store. 719 00:44:10,068 --> 00:44:11,667 Heh, the hell you will. 720 00:44:11,668 --> 00:44:13,134 You better get this thing repainted 721 00:44:13,135 --> 00:44:14,601 before you go into the office. 722 00:44:14,602 --> 00:44:16,501 I'm not having it repainted. 723 00:44:16,502 --> 00:44:17,768 What? 724 00:44:17,769 --> 00:44:19,134 I like it this way. 725 00:44:19,135 --> 00:44:20,868 Are you crazy? 726 00:44:24,602 --> 00:44:25,968 No, they are. 727 00:44:25,969 --> 00:44:28,469 Well, I say fuck 'em. 728 00:44:28,470 --> 00:44:32,202 They can write it in neon across the sky. 729 00:44:32,203 --> 00:44:34,643 Faggot! 730 00:44:34,644 --> 00:44:35,811 Ha ha! 731 00:44:54,030 --> 00:44:59,030 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 48152

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.