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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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♪ One, two, three, four ♪
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♪ one, two, three, four, five, six ♪
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♪ shake it, dude ♪
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♪ ♪
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♪ one, two, do it ♪
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♪ ♪
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♪ one, two, three ♪
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♪ four, four ♪
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♪ ♪
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About a week after their baby was born,
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thanks in part to the
invaluable contribution
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00:00:54,176 --> 00:00:55,408
of Brian Kinney,
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00:00:55,409 --> 00:00:57,376
Lindsay and Melanie had a party.
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They invited a herd of their
nearest and dearest lesbians,
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00:01:00,411 --> 00:01:03,043
assorted relatives, and us,
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00:01:03,044 --> 00:01:06,511
the friends of the
father, to their house.
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It was really nice,
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the smell of bread
baking and fresh flowers
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everywhere you looked,
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not like going to one
of my friends' places,
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00:01:14,313 --> 00:01:15,479
with the smell of dirty laundry
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and stacks of porn tapes
everywhere you looked.
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I'm scared of him. I'm
just gonna go inside.
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Okay, we'll see you inside.
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Shirley! Shirley!
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Have you seen, uh, Norman?
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Seeing them in their beautiful home
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with their new baby
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00:01:28,982 --> 00:01:31,015
and their arms around each other,
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I wished, for a moment, that
I too could be a lesbian.
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But then I remembered
I'd have to eat pussy,
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so I said, "forget it."
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[Indistinct chatter]
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00:01:42,185 --> 00:01:43,650
Hey, Michael. How you doing?
35
00:01:43,651 --> 00:01:46,518
Michael. Oh, hi.
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00:01:46,519 --> 00:01:47,618
[Laughs]
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00:01:47,619 --> 00:01:49,418
Still, being there that day,
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00:01:49,419 --> 00:01:51,418
I realized how different
men and women are,
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and I don't think it has anything to do
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00:01:53,219 --> 00:01:54,886
with being gay or straight.
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00:01:54,887 --> 00:01:56,620
It's that, the way I see it,
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women know how to commit to each other.
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Men don't.
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At least not the men I know.
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Hey, Mikey.
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00:02:05,221 --> 00:02:06,521
- Yeah.
- How you been?
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00:02:06,522 --> 00:02:10,389
But I'm jumping ahead.
Let's go back an hour.
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00:02:11,990 --> 00:02:14,123
[Music rewinding]
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00:02:19,991 --> 00:02:22,423
[Breathing heavy]
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00:02:22,424 --> 00:02:25,957
I told you, I'm not going
to the munchers' brunch.
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[Weights clatter]
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And that's final.
53
00:02:29,126 --> 00:02:32,325
Look, it's not for
them. It's for your son.
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00:02:32,326 --> 00:02:34,893
My son?
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00:02:34,894 --> 00:02:37,226
He's only my son when
they want my money.
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00:02:37,227 --> 00:02:39,460
So why punish him by not going?
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00:02:39,461 --> 00:02:41,493
Look, it's not as if he's
going to know I'm not there.
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You can't be sure. I read someplace...
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Where, Marvel comics?
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That infants respond to things,
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even when still in the womb.
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Like, for instance,
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tension and discord
affect them adversely,
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00:02:52,097 --> 00:02:53,463
while playing Mozart and stuff like that
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makes them super-smart.
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00:02:54,830 --> 00:02:56,162
[Laughs]
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00:02:56,163 --> 00:02:57,963
Well, how do you think
listening to the sound
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00:02:57,964 --> 00:02:59,364
of two dykes go down on each other
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00:02:59,365 --> 00:03:01,197
for the past nine
months has affected him?
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00:03:01,198 --> 00:03:02,931
Christ.
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00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:04,365
He'll probably grow up to be straight.
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00:03:04,366 --> 00:03:06,833
All the more reason
why he needs his dad.
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00:03:08,833 --> 00:03:11,965
Stop acting like a...
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00:03:11,966 --> 00:03:13,232
Where the hell are you?
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Like a child and...
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Brian?
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00:03:18,434 --> 00:03:22,502
Jesus Christ, it's, like,
150 fucking degrees in here.
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00:03:29,336 --> 00:03:31,937
There you are.
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00:03:33,037 --> 00:03:35,936
What?
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00:03:35,937 --> 00:03:37,169
Well, I was just about to say
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I think you should rise to the occasion,
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00:03:38,971 --> 00:03:41,037
you know, be bigger than they are.
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That is, if you can take
your hand and your mind
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off your dick long enough.
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Jesus!
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00:03:45,106 --> 00:03:48,238
I... I've got more
important things to do.
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00:03:48,239 --> 00:03:50,206
Now, why don't you get out of here
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before your mousse melts?
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00:03:51,407 --> 00:03:54,806
And if anybody should ask where you are?
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00:03:54,807 --> 00:03:57,841
Just tell them the usual.
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00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:03,807
Something came up.
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00:04:03,808 --> 00:04:06,341
- He looks exactly like...
- Smile.
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00:04:06,342 --> 00:04:09,075
- Hey!
- Hi!
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00:04:09,076 --> 00:04:11,476
Oh, that's so beautiful.
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00:04:11,477 --> 00:04:13,843
Aunt Shirley, say something.
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00:04:13,844 --> 00:04:16,243
Oh, I can't believe
you're at a loss for words.
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00:04:16,244 --> 00:04:18,277
[Laughs]
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00:04:18,278 --> 00:04:21,077
I'm thrilled for you both.
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00:04:21,078 --> 00:04:24,245
And such a lucky boy
to have two mothers.
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00:04:24,246 --> 00:04:26,279
What's he need a father for anyway?
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00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:28,345
Your uncle Ben was a lousy father.
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00:04:28,346 --> 00:04:30,346
Never had any time for the family,
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00:04:30,347 --> 00:04:32,480
always chasing women.
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00:04:32,481 --> 00:04:35,813
You're better off being
lesbians because...
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Well, take it from me...
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00:04:37,048 --> 00:04:39,214
A stiff prick knows no conscience.
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00:04:39,215 --> 00:04:41,814
[Laughs] Oh, God!
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00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:44,948
[Laughter]
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00:04:44,949 --> 00:04:48,949
Isn't he gorgeous? His name's Katsuo.
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00:04:48,950 --> 00:04:50,049
Jews?
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00:04:50,050 --> 00:04:52,383
No, no, no. No, Jews.
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00:04:52,384 --> 00:04:55,517
Juice. Okay?
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00:04:55,518 --> 00:04:58,350
He gives "Pacific Rim"
a whole new meaning.
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00:04:58,351 --> 00:05:00,185
- Where'd you find him?
- He found me.
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00:05:00,186 --> 00:05:01,918
I was having drinks
in the lizard lounge,
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00:05:01,919 --> 00:05:03,952
he comes over, starts chattering away.
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00:05:03,953 --> 00:05:05,252
Only he doesn't speak any English,
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00:05:05,253 --> 00:05:07,819
and the only Japanese I
know is "Sony" and "Toyota."
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00:05:07,820 --> 00:05:09,719
So how do you communicate with him?
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00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:11,819
There's other ways than talking.
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00:05:11,820 --> 00:05:13,487
We all know it's not polite
to talk with your mouth full.
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00:05:13,488 --> 00:05:15,720
- Oh.
- Hmm.
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00:05:15,721 --> 00:05:20,154
[Speaking Japanese]
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00:05:20,155 --> 00:05:22,122
It's called corned beef, sweetie.
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00:05:22,123 --> 00:05:24,289
It's a Jewish delicacy. Okay?
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00:05:24,290 --> 00:05:27,056
What do you suppose
he's actually saying?
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00:05:27,057 --> 00:05:31,123
What's it matter? We're
in love, love, love.
128
00:05:31,124 --> 00:05:35,024
I'm going to wash my hands.
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00:05:35,025 --> 00:05:40,059
[Speaking Japanese]
130
00:05:41,126 --> 00:05:42,991
Yeah, okay, all right.
Let's go ask Melanie.
131
00:05:42,992 --> 00:05:45,026
She's fluent in Sushi. Come.
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00:05:45,027 --> 00:05:46,226
Come. Come. Come.
133
00:05:46,227 --> 00:05:48,726
- Okay, have a bagel.
- Mel.
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00:05:48,727 --> 00:05:50,726
Hi, Mel. Okay, and cut. Great.
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00:05:50,727 --> 00:05:52,227
Look. We need you to translate.
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00:05:52,228 --> 00:05:54,394
Talk to Melanie.
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00:05:54,395 --> 00:05:59,128
Melanie speak all axis powers.
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00:05:59,129 --> 00:06:03,695
[Speaking Japanese]
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00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:06,195
[Speaking Japanese]
140
00:06:06,196 --> 00:06:09,230
- He keeps saying "Kane."
- Yeah.
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00:06:09,231 --> 00:06:10,697
"Kane" is money.
142
00:06:10,698 --> 00:06:12,230
He's saying he expects
Emmett to pay him.
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00:06:12,231 --> 00:06:13,263
For what?
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00:06:13,264 --> 00:06:15,331
He's a goddamn male prostitute.
145
00:06:15,332 --> 00:06:17,364
[Snorting laugh]
146
00:06:17,365 --> 00:06:20,333
Oh, shit!
147
00:06:21,699 --> 00:06:24,365
[Pleading in Japanese]
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00:06:24,366 --> 00:06:26,799
Kane. Kane.
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00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:28,300
Melanie says...
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00:06:28,301 --> 00:06:32,068
"Kane" means...
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00:06:32,901 --> 00:06:33,868
"Love."
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00:06:33,869 --> 00:06:35,935
He says he loves your voice.
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00:06:35,936 --> 00:06:38,068
It's like a silent wind chime.
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00:06:38,069 --> 00:06:41,068
And that your smile
is like cherry blossoms
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00:06:41,069 --> 00:06:44,304
floating on a still breeze.
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00:06:47,938 --> 00:06:50,337
That... that is the most beautiful thing
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00:06:50,338 --> 00:06:54,972
that anyone has ever said to me.
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00:06:56,805 --> 00:06:59,371
Oh, here he is. Can I hold him?
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00:06:59,372 --> 00:07:00,873
It's almost time for the ceremony.
160
00:07:00,874 --> 00:07:02,172
Where's Brian?
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00:07:02,173 --> 00:07:04,673
He couldn't make it.
162
00:07:04,674 --> 00:07:05,706
He said to tell you that, uh...
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00:07:05,707 --> 00:07:07,307
Something came up.
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00:07:07,308 --> 00:07:09,974
[Scoffs] I can guess what.
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00:07:09,975 --> 00:07:11,240
Shall we begin?
166
00:07:11,241 --> 00:07:13,274
This is Rabbi Protesh.
He'll be doing the bris.
167
00:07:13,275 --> 00:07:14,675
Oh, I love pot roast.
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00:07:14,676 --> 00:07:15,908
[Laughs]
169
00:07:15,909 --> 00:07:17,641
That's brisket.
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00:07:17,642 --> 00:07:18,675
I believe, in the Jewish faith,
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the bris is a circumcision ceremony.
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00:07:20,643 --> 00:07:21,909
That's correct.
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00:07:21,910 --> 00:07:23,809
First, I give the boy
child a little wine.
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00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:25,610
Then, I say a prayer or two.
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00:07:25,611 --> 00:07:29,944
Then, I take my scalpel,
and I remove his foreskin.
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00:07:29,945 --> 00:07:32,312
- [Thud]
- [Gasps]
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00:07:37,813 --> 00:07:39,879
He said that's all I was to him,
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00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:41,979
just a fuck.
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00:07:41,980 --> 00:07:43,979
That's a shitty thing to say.
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00:07:43,980 --> 00:07:47,247
And that he doesn't
want to see me anymore.
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00:07:47,248 --> 00:07:48,846
When my last boyfriend dumped me,
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00:07:48,847 --> 00:07:51,147
I didn't hang around
feeling sorry for myself.
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00:07:51,148 --> 00:07:53,081
I went out and got a new one.
184
00:07:53,082 --> 00:07:55,715
When did you have a
boyfriend? Third grade?
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00:07:55,716 --> 00:07:57,682
Last summer.
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00:07:57,683 --> 00:07:58,882
You never told me.
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00:07:58,883 --> 00:08:01,349
I'm telling you now.
188
00:08:01,350 --> 00:08:03,816
You should have seen how jealous he got.
189
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:06,617
You can do the same
thing. Show that Brian.
190
00:08:06,618 --> 00:08:08,051
Go back down there tonight.
191
00:08:08,052 --> 00:08:10,650
Pick up some hot, hunky guy.
192
00:08:10,651 --> 00:08:14,018
You're not exactly a troll, you know?
193
00:08:14,019 --> 00:08:16,352
Would you come with me?
194
00:08:16,353 --> 00:08:18,352
What if some lesbo tries to pick me up?
195
00:08:18,353 --> 00:08:20,252
I wouldn't know what to do.
196
00:08:20,253 --> 00:08:23,653
Although I like Melissa Etheridge a lot.
197
00:08:23,654 --> 00:08:25,053
Think that means anything?
198
00:08:25,054 --> 00:08:27,054
- Maybe.
- Jesus.
199
00:08:27,055 --> 00:08:30,055
[Laughter]
200
00:08:31,855 --> 00:08:32,921
What if he had a heart attack?
201
00:08:32,922 --> 00:08:34,121
I mean, I read someplace that sometimes
202
00:08:34,122 --> 00:08:35,555
people have weak hearts,
and they don't know...
203
00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:36,755
He just fainted.
204
00:08:36,756 --> 00:08:38,555
Let me through. I'm a doctor.
205
00:08:38,556 --> 00:08:40,122
What do you know about fainting?
206
00:08:40,123 --> 00:08:41,856
You're a retired podiatrist.
207
00:08:41,857 --> 00:08:43,756
What, you don't think anyone
ever fainted in my office?
208
00:08:43,757 --> 00:08:45,656
- From a corn?
- Ah, just stand back.
209
00:08:45,657 --> 00:08:46,890
Give him some room.
210
00:08:46,891 --> 00:08:48,857
Has anybody got any, uh, smelling salts?
211
00:08:48,858 --> 00:08:50,624
- How about poppers?
- What about horseradish?
212
00:08:50,625 --> 00:08:52,725
We have some for the gefilte fish.
213
00:08:52,726 --> 00:08:55,292
It's worth a shot.
214
00:08:59,627 --> 00:09:00,527
[Inhales sharply]
215
00:09:00,528 --> 00:09:02,160
[All gasp]
216
00:09:02,161 --> 00:09:03,859
What happened?
217
00:09:03,860 --> 00:09:05,961
You fainted.
218
00:09:05,962 --> 00:09:07,794
Estelle, get some ice.
Put it on his forehead.
219
00:09:07,795 --> 00:09:11,061
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
220
00:09:11,062 --> 00:09:13,628
I don't mean to hurry
things along, but...
221
00:09:13,629 --> 00:09:16,597
I'm doing twins at 3:00.
222
00:09:19,763 --> 00:09:23,096
No, I'll be fine. Really.
223
00:09:23,097 --> 00:09:25,563
[Speaking Japanese]
224
00:09:25,564 --> 00:09:27,531
[Indistinct chatter]
225
00:09:27,532 --> 00:09:29,664
Hey.
226
00:09:29,665 --> 00:09:31,198
Call me sometime, huh?
227
00:09:31,199 --> 00:09:34,131
Sure... buddy.
228
00:09:34,132 --> 00:09:38,100
[Phone ringing]
229
00:09:39,734 --> 00:09:41,133
How's the party?
230
00:09:41,134 --> 00:09:43,500
You better get your ass over here fast.
231
00:09:43,501 --> 00:09:44,567
Why?
232
00:09:44,568 --> 00:09:45,701
With all those bull dykes around,
233
00:09:45,702 --> 00:09:46,968
is there a shortage of bottoms?
234
00:09:46,969 --> 00:09:48,767
No... remember Lindsay
and Melanie's invitation?
235
00:09:48,768 --> 00:09:49,801
The part that was in Hebrew?
236
00:09:49,802 --> 00:09:51,835
I just found out what that means.
237
00:09:51,836 --> 00:09:54,169
In every Jewish boy's life,
238
00:09:54,170 --> 00:09:56,903
there are three steps to becoming a man.
239
00:09:56,904 --> 00:09:58,869
First, his bris.
240
00:09:58,870 --> 00:10:00,804
Then, his bar mitzvah.
241
00:10:00,805 --> 00:10:02,804
And finally, his marriage.
242
00:10:02,805 --> 00:10:05,837
For 3,500 years, the circumcision ritual
243
00:10:05,838 --> 00:10:07,870
has been the fundamental sign
244
00:10:07,871 --> 00:10:11,805
of the covenant between God and Israel.
245
00:10:11,806 --> 00:10:13,706
Melanie, will you please place your son
246
00:10:13,707 --> 00:10:16,673
on his mother's lap?
247
00:10:29,009 --> 00:10:30,242
Oh my God, he's really going to do it.
248
00:10:30,243 --> 00:10:32,942
- Okay, I... I can't...
- Where's Brian?
249
00:10:32,943 --> 00:10:36,510
Looking after the only dick
that matters... his own.
250
00:10:38,177 --> 00:10:40,676
Excuse me, Rabbi.
251
00:10:40,677 --> 00:10:44,510
You two, in the kitchen...
252
00:10:44,511 --> 00:10:45,777
Now!
253
00:10:45,778 --> 00:10:47,911
[Sighs]
254
00:10:47,912 --> 00:10:49,678
What the hell do you think you're doing?
255
00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:52,546
Barging in here, interrupting
a religious ceremony.
256
00:10:52,547 --> 00:10:53,878
You should have asked
my permission first.
257
00:10:53,879 --> 00:10:55,746
- For what?
- To circumcise my son.
258
00:10:55,747 --> 00:10:57,113
We don't have to ask your permission.
259
00:10:57,114 --> 00:10:58,081
We're the parents.
260
00:10:58,082 --> 00:10:59,447
And I'm the biological father,
261
00:10:59,448 --> 00:11:00,681
and that gives me more rights than you.
262
00:11:00,682 --> 00:11:03,081
Oh-ho, I see someone's
been studying his law.
263
00:11:03,082 --> 00:11:05,081
No, this is no time to be
having this conversation,
264
00:11:05,082 --> 00:11:06,548
- with a house full of guests...
- Yeah, and since when
265
00:11:06,549 --> 00:11:08,082
did you start caring about your son,
266
00:11:08,083 --> 00:11:09,648
considering you haven't
been to see him once
267
00:11:09,649 --> 00:11:10,715
since he was born?
268
00:11:10,716 --> 00:11:11,948
Well, I'm not exactly welcome.
269
00:11:11,949 --> 00:11:13,083
Oh, bullshit, you've been too busy
270
00:11:13,084 --> 00:11:14,515
fucking everything that moves!
271
00:11:14,516 --> 00:11:17,950
- Can we please stop this?
- [Sighs]
272
00:11:17,951 --> 00:11:20,450
Why does it matter to
you if Gus is circumcised?
273
00:11:20,451 --> 00:11:22,551
It matters that he's been in
this world less than a week,
274
00:11:22,552 --> 00:11:24,417
and already there are
people who won't accept him
275
00:11:24,418 --> 00:11:25,517
for the way he is,
276
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,418
who'd even mutilate
him rather than let him
277
00:11:27,419 --> 00:11:30,786
be the way he is, the way he was born.
278
00:11:32,553 --> 00:11:36,586
Well, I'm not going to let that happen.
279
00:11:36,587 --> 00:11:38,686
Excuse me.
280
00:11:38,687 --> 00:11:42,622
Uh, shall we proceed?
281
00:11:43,922 --> 00:11:45,655
[Indistinct chatter]
282
00:11:45,656 --> 00:11:48,555
[Electronic music]
283
00:11:48,556 --> 00:11:50,655
♪ ♪
284
00:11:50,656 --> 00:11:53,522
You really showed those dykes
who's got the low hangers.
285
00:11:53,523 --> 00:11:58,090
- And for once, it was us.
- Mm-hmm.
286
00:11:58,091 --> 00:12:00,725
Deb, can we get some service?
287
00:12:00,726 --> 00:12:02,057
Keep your pants on.
288
00:12:02,058 --> 00:12:04,992
At least until you've had dinner.
289
00:12:04,993 --> 00:12:05,993
I've always said
there's only two reasons
290
00:12:05,994 --> 00:12:07,158
to be friends with lesbians...
291
00:12:07,159 --> 00:12:08,626
They'll never try to convince you
292
00:12:08,627 --> 00:12:10,125
that the only reason you're gay
293
00:12:10,126 --> 00:12:11,892
is that you haven't met the right woman,
294
00:12:11,893 --> 00:12:13,826
and, uh, they know how to change a flat.
295
00:12:13,827 --> 00:12:16,793
[Laughs]
296
00:12:16,794 --> 00:12:19,660
It wasn't about them.
297
00:12:19,661 --> 00:12:22,061
It's about my son.
298
00:12:22,062 --> 00:12:26,395
If I don't look out for him, who will?
299
00:12:26,396 --> 00:12:27,895
Wow.
300
00:12:27,896 --> 00:12:29,062
If you're not careful,
you might turn out
301
00:12:29,063 --> 00:12:32,930
to be an all right dad
in spite of yourself.
302
00:12:32,931 --> 00:12:34,630
To Brian.
303
00:12:34,631 --> 00:12:36,763
- To Brian.
- To Brian.
304
00:12:36,764 --> 00:12:39,664
Okay, boys. What'll it be?
305
00:12:39,665 --> 00:12:41,430
Nothing for me, thanks.
306
00:12:41,431 --> 00:12:42,565
Em, honey, you should try
307
00:12:42,566 --> 00:12:44,565
to eat some of your protein off a plate.
308
00:12:44,566 --> 00:12:45,999
[Laughter]
309
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,798
I read that, for every
30 pounds you lose,
310
00:12:48,799 --> 00:12:51,399
you gain an entire inch of cock.
311
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,100
So if you just drop another 90 pounds,
312
00:12:53,101 --> 00:12:55,066
you'll have a 4-inch pecker.
313
00:12:55,067 --> 00:12:56,700
[Laughter]
314
00:12:56,701 --> 00:12:57,867
[Blows kiss]
315
00:12:57,868 --> 00:12:59,468
What about the rest of you boys?
316
00:12:59,469 --> 00:13:01,067
- Nothing for me.
- You know, I think I'll pass
317
00:13:01,068 --> 00:13:02,901
- right now.
- Take a break.
318
00:13:02,902 --> 00:13:07,403
Cheeseburger, French fry,
chocolate shake, apple pie.
319
00:13:09,903 --> 00:13:13,703
[Indistinct chatter]
320
00:13:13,704 --> 00:13:16,536
I just know it tastes good,
that's all I care about.
321
00:13:16,537 --> 00:13:18,037
Oh.
322
00:13:18,038 --> 00:13:19,604
Sorry.
323
00:13:19,605 --> 00:13:20,904
It's okay.
324
00:13:20,905 --> 00:13:22,704
Hey, I know that guy.
He works out at our gym.
325
00:13:22,705 --> 00:13:24,705
Uh, Blake.
326
00:13:24,706 --> 00:13:26,039
I think he likes you.
327
00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:27,472
Oh, yeah. How can you tell?
328
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:28,872
'Cause he's looking back.
329
00:13:28,873 --> 00:13:30,641
He's probably just stretching his neck.
330
00:13:30,642 --> 00:13:32,473
- Will you listen to you?
- What?
331
00:13:32,474 --> 00:13:34,040
Always putting yourself down.
332
00:13:34,041 --> 00:13:37,073
Well, better me than them. I'm gentler.
333
00:13:37,074 --> 00:13:39,807
Doesn't sound like it.
334
00:13:39,808 --> 00:13:41,775
You know, it is possible that someone
335
00:13:41,776 --> 00:13:43,508
could actually like you, you know?
336
00:13:43,509 --> 00:13:45,575
Yeah, it's possible.
337
00:13:45,576 --> 00:13:47,709
However, I'm sure a statistical analysis
338
00:13:47,710 --> 00:13:49,509
would reveal that the probability
339
00:13:49,510 --> 00:13:51,876
of a guy named Blake,
who looks like that,
340
00:13:51,877 --> 00:13:55,644
actually liking a guy named
Ted, who looks like me,
341
00:13:55,645 --> 00:14:00,312
to be in the .05 percentile.
342
00:14:00,313 --> 00:14:02,878
In other words, practically zip.
343
00:14:02,879 --> 00:14:04,945
Anyway, I'm sure Brian's more his type.
344
00:14:04,946 --> 00:14:06,579
How do you know that?
345
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:08,646
Because Brian's everybody's type,
346
00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:10,279
which explains why he's had everybody.
347
00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:11,313
- Well...
- I know, I know.
348
00:14:11,314 --> 00:14:12,680
Except for you.
349
00:14:12,681 --> 00:14:15,047
Which is kind of weird
when you think about it.
350
00:14:15,048 --> 00:14:17,881
- Weird? He's my best friend.
- So?
351
00:14:17,882 --> 00:14:20,448
So everybody knows you don't
have sex with your friends.
352
00:14:20,449 --> 00:14:21,848
Oh, right.
353
00:14:21,849 --> 00:14:23,382
Yeah, sex is something you only have
354
00:14:23,383 --> 00:14:25,515
with complete strangers, yeah.
355
00:14:25,516 --> 00:14:26,650
People you'll never see again,
356
00:14:26,651 --> 00:14:27,982
unless you just bump
into them on the street,
357
00:14:27,983 --> 00:14:32,418
but never with someone you
might actually give a shit about.
358
00:14:34,351 --> 00:14:37,284
Who made up these
crazy rules anyway, huh?
359
00:14:37,285 --> 00:14:38,851
Beats me. Let's go have a drink.
360
00:14:38,852 --> 00:14:43,319
- Yeah, or two or three.
- Yeah.
361
00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:44,552
Hey.
362
00:14:44,553 --> 00:14:45,819
You think I'd look good in that?
363
00:14:45,820 --> 00:14:47,954
Eh...
364
00:14:49,720 --> 00:14:51,887
Oh, my God! Look at that.
365
00:14:51,888 --> 00:14:53,687
Is it a girl or a boy?
366
00:14:53,688 --> 00:14:54,954
Jesus, don't point.
367
00:14:54,955 --> 00:14:56,554
No matter what you see.
368
00:14:56,555 --> 00:14:59,655
Guys kissing guys, girls kissing girls.
369
00:14:59,656 --> 00:15:02,489
Well, what if I see a guy
and a girl kissing, huh?
370
00:15:02,490 --> 00:15:04,555
That'd be something different down here.
371
00:15:04,556 --> 00:15:06,722
And stop acting like
you're so experienced.
372
00:15:06,723 --> 00:15:09,890
[Scoffs] More than you.
373
00:15:09,891 --> 00:15:11,523
Don't forget what I said.
374
00:15:11,524 --> 00:15:13,224
If I see him, pretend I didn't.
375
00:15:13,225 --> 00:15:14,524
Don't even look.
376
00:15:14,525 --> 00:15:16,391
That is, if he's there,
which he's probably not.
377
00:15:16,392 --> 00:15:19,393
But if he is, don't look.
378
00:15:21,559 --> 00:15:24,626
Should I freeze this or toss it?
379
00:15:24,627 --> 00:15:25,959
I'd rather not have it around
380
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:29,661
when I'm trying to get back into shape.
381
00:15:32,628 --> 00:15:34,395
So how long is this going to go on?
382
00:15:34,396 --> 00:15:36,328
Or do you plan never to
speak to me ever again?
383
00:15:36,329 --> 00:15:38,528
What would you like me to say?
384
00:15:38,529 --> 00:15:40,329
- Anything.
- All right.
385
00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:42,696
How about, "I have a house
full of uneaten cold cuts
386
00:15:42,697 --> 00:15:44,295
and an uncircumcised son."
387
00:15:44,296 --> 00:15:47,763
How's that?
388
00:15:47,764 --> 00:15:48,864
[Groans]
389
00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:50,697
Look, Brian's going to take out
390
00:15:50,698 --> 00:15:51,864
the insurance policy.
391
00:15:51,865 --> 00:15:53,264
At least he's agreed to do that.
392
00:15:53,265 --> 00:15:53,931
That's something, isn't it?
393
00:15:53,932 --> 00:15:55,598
Oh, my consolation prize.
394
00:15:55,599 --> 00:15:57,398
Well, it was important
enough to you last week.
395
00:15:57,399 --> 00:16:00,299
So was this afternoon, but
now I have been humiliated
396
00:16:00,300 --> 00:16:02,966
in front of our friends,
my relatives, Rabbi Protesh.
397
00:16:02,967 --> 00:16:05,566
Where's the goddamn plastic wrap?
398
00:16:05,567 --> 00:16:08,200
- And you let him do it.
- Me?
399
00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:10,167
You're the one who decided
to call off the bris.
400
00:16:10,168 --> 00:16:12,434
Of course, I know it's not
very important to you or Brian,
401
00:16:12,435 --> 00:16:13,868
but it happens to be
a very important ritual
402
00:16:13,869 --> 00:16:14,901
in my family.
403
00:16:14,902 --> 00:16:16,402
You know, there are a lot of men
404
00:16:16,403 --> 00:16:18,669
who think circumcision is a
cruel and barbaric practice?
405
00:16:18,670 --> 00:16:21,436
I don't care what men
think about their dicks.
406
00:16:21,437 --> 00:16:23,269
I care that you put Brian before me.
407
00:16:23,270 --> 00:16:24,536
But you know, why should I be surprised?
408
00:16:24,537 --> 00:16:25,537
You always have.
409
00:16:25,538 --> 00:16:26,603
Oh, for Christ's sake.
410
00:16:26,604 --> 00:16:27,903
Are we really going to
go through this again?
411
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:29,671
I don't want to have this conversation.
412
00:16:29,672 --> 00:16:30,772
Yeah, and I didn't want Brian
413
00:16:30,773 --> 00:16:32,704
to be the baby's father
in the first place,
414
00:16:32,705 --> 00:16:34,405
but, no, you had to have it your way.
415
00:16:34,406 --> 00:16:35,938
It had to be Brian or no one.
416
00:16:35,939 --> 00:16:37,905
So now he's a part of our lives forever,
417
00:16:37,906 --> 00:16:41,240
whether we like it or not.
418
00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:51,775
Okay.
419
00:16:51,776 --> 00:16:55,675
Well, I know what I'm doing tonight.
420
00:16:55,676 --> 00:16:58,375
What about the rest of you?
421
00:16:58,376 --> 00:17:01,542
[Indistinct chatter]
422
00:17:01,543 --> 00:17:03,543
Oh, shit!
423
00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:04,610
What's the matter, honey?
424
00:17:04,611 --> 00:17:06,543
My mom's here with my uncle Vic.
425
00:17:06,544 --> 00:17:09,144
She didn't tell me she
was going to come here.
426
00:17:09,145 --> 00:17:11,411
Hey, not every boy's lucky
enough to have a mother
427
00:17:11,412 --> 00:17:12,911
who's equally at home in the kitchen
428
00:17:12,912 --> 00:17:14,878
as she is in a gay bar.
429
00:17:14,879 --> 00:17:18,613
- [Sighs]
- Now you behave yourself.
430
00:17:21,514 --> 00:17:24,313
As usual, Brian gets all the beauties
431
00:17:24,314 --> 00:17:25,713
while we get to watch.
432
00:17:25,714 --> 00:17:29,148
- He hasn't gotten him yet.
- He will.
433
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,648
He's got the walk, he's got the talk.
434
00:17:30,649 --> 00:17:33,314
He's got the tattoo.
435
00:17:33,315 --> 00:17:35,415
Brian's got a ta...
Where's Brian got a tattoo?
436
00:17:35,416 --> 00:17:38,316
In a place you'll never see.
437
00:17:43,151 --> 00:17:45,550
- Double shit!
- What now?
438
00:17:45,551 --> 00:17:48,251
It's him. Our teen stalker.
439
00:17:48,252 --> 00:17:51,184
Christ, why won't he just go away?
440
00:17:51,185 --> 00:17:52,785
Remember me?
441
00:17:52,786 --> 00:17:56,118
Turn around.
442
00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:59,420
I never forget a butt,
especially a cute one.
443
00:17:59,421 --> 00:18:02,253
[Laughter]
444
00:18:02,254 --> 00:18:04,553
I met you in the diner
with Michael last week.
445
00:18:04,554 --> 00:18:06,254
Yeah. I'm Justin.
446
00:18:06,255 --> 00:18:08,454
- This is Daphne.
- Hi.
447
00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:09,587
Hi, Daphne.
448
00:18:09,588 --> 00:18:10,588
What's he doing?
449
00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:12,121
Talking to your mom.
450
00:18:12,122 --> 00:18:13,288
What?
451
00:18:13,289 --> 00:18:15,523
Whoo-hoo!
452
00:18:18,157 --> 00:18:21,257
You know, I'm actually looking
for a friend of Michael's.
453
00:18:21,258 --> 00:18:22,524
His name's Brian.
454
00:18:22,525 --> 00:18:23,657
Could've guessed that.
455
00:18:23,658 --> 00:18:26,124
Honey, everybody's looking for Brian.
456
00:18:26,125 --> 00:18:27,657
Have you seen him?
457
00:18:27,658 --> 00:18:29,392
[Clicks tongue]
458
00:18:30,592 --> 00:18:32,525
That's Brian?
459
00:18:32,526 --> 00:18:35,125
God, he's so old!
460
00:18:35,126 --> 00:18:36,659
And skinny!
461
00:18:36,660 --> 00:18:38,226
And you could do way better than that.
462
00:18:38,227 --> 00:18:39,526
Would you shut up?
463
00:18:39,527 --> 00:18:41,660
5 bucks he nails him before midnight?
464
00:18:41,661 --> 00:18:43,527
You're on.
465
00:18:43,528 --> 00:18:45,094
I am not baby-sitting him again.
466
00:18:45,095 --> 00:18:46,528
This time, he's all yours.
467
00:18:46,529 --> 00:18:47,828
What?
468
00:18:47,829 --> 00:18:49,628
He's over there talking to my mother,
469
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,128
the little prick!
470
00:18:52,129 --> 00:18:55,462
Leave him alone. He's all right.
471
00:18:55,463 --> 00:18:56,762
Excuse me?
472
00:18:56,763 --> 00:18:58,096
The noise is so loud in here,
473
00:18:58,097 --> 00:18:59,730
I thought I heard you
say he's all right.
474
00:18:59,731 --> 00:19:02,397
In fact...
475
00:19:02,398 --> 00:19:04,497
- He's kind of sweet.
- Sweet?
476
00:19:04,498 --> 00:19:05,798
I thought we got rid of him.
477
00:19:05,799 --> 00:19:09,432
I thought he was out of our lives.
478
00:19:09,433 --> 00:19:11,532
- Where'd he go?
- Who?
479
00:19:11,533 --> 00:19:13,699
Who do you think?
480
00:19:13,700 --> 00:19:15,799
Shit. He's gone.
481
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,132
And this is all your fault.
482
00:19:17,133 --> 00:19:19,133
You made me look away.
483
00:19:19,134 --> 00:19:21,401
Oh, fuck you, Michael!
484
00:19:24,568 --> 00:19:27,268
Need a napkin over here, please.
485
00:19:27,269 --> 00:19:29,535
What's eating him? Or isn't?
486
00:19:29,536 --> 00:19:30,703
None of your business!
487
00:19:30,704 --> 00:19:32,602
You watch your mouth.
488
00:19:32,603 --> 00:19:34,035
Why do you have to come here?
489
00:19:34,036 --> 00:19:36,469
Well, Vic was feeling
better, so we thought
490
00:19:36,470 --> 00:19:37,769
we'd come after my
shift and have a drink.
491
00:19:37,770 --> 00:19:39,103
What's the big deal?
492
00:19:39,104 --> 00:19:40,437
The big deal is I came here to hang out
493
00:19:40,438 --> 00:19:42,204
with my friends, not my mother!
494
00:19:42,205 --> 00:19:45,271
Sweetie, you know I
approve of your lifestyle.
495
00:19:45,272 --> 00:19:47,005
Maybe I don't want you to approve.
496
00:19:47,006 --> 00:19:50,506
Maybe I want you to go home and cry.
497
00:19:55,541 --> 00:19:57,574
[Brakes screeching, horn honks]
498
00:19:59,008 --> 00:20:01,341
Come on!
499
00:20:08,376 --> 00:20:10,142
Fuck me.
500
00:20:10,143 --> 00:20:12,377
Love to.
501
00:20:14,077 --> 00:20:16,043
No, can't we do something else?
502
00:20:16,044 --> 00:20:18,710
Mike?
503
00:20:18,711 --> 00:20:21,143
Tracy!
504
00:20:21,144 --> 00:20:23,478
It is you! [Giggling]
505
00:20:23,479 --> 00:20:24,678
Isn't this wild?
506
00:20:24,679 --> 00:20:26,545
Yeah. Really wild.
507
00:20:26,546 --> 00:20:28,112
Oh, my friends and I,
508
00:20:28,113 --> 00:20:29,046
we thought we'd have a little adventure.
509
00:20:29,047 --> 00:20:30,480
Hey.
510
00:20:30,481 --> 00:20:31,579
I mean you always hear about this place,
511
00:20:31,580 --> 00:20:33,312
but who ever comes here?
512
00:20:33,313 --> 00:20:36,313
Not me. [Chuckles]
513
00:20:36,314 --> 00:20:38,647
Until tonight. I mean,
I'm here with a friend.
514
00:20:38,648 --> 00:20:41,014
You know, a gay friend.
You know, just a friend.
515
00:20:41,015 --> 00:20:42,281
Since high school, actually.
516
00:20:42,282 --> 00:20:43,981
We have this kind of
foreign exchange program.
517
00:20:43,982 --> 00:20:46,514
You know, I take him to
football games and beer busts,
518
00:20:46,515 --> 00:20:50,282
and he takes me to the
opera and wine tasting.
519
00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:51,415
- [Laughs]
- Yeah.
520
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:53,516
So why don't we all go for a drink?
521
00:20:53,517 --> 00:20:56,117
Safety in numbers.
522
00:20:56,118 --> 00:20:59,317
I... I, uh... I'm a little beat.
523
00:20:59,318 --> 00:21:01,217
I was on my way home.
524
00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:04,151
Oh, well, sounds like a good idea.
525
00:21:04,152 --> 00:21:06,151
You know, stick around here too long,
526
00:21:06,152 --> 00:21:08,152
you might wind up switching teams!
527
00:21:08,153 --> 00:21:10,052
[Forced laugh]
528
00:21:10,053 --> 00:21:11,519
I lost him.
529
00:21:11,520 --> 00:21:14,087
Fuck!
530
00:21:14,088 --> 00:21:16,020
This is my friend, Brian.
531
00:21:16,021 --> 00:21:18,187
Brian, this is Tracy...
532
00:21:18,188 --> 00:21:20,520
Uh, you know...
533
00:21:20,521 --> 00:21:23,688
From the store.
534
00:21:23,689 --> 00:21:27,155
Tracy. Of course, from the store.
535
00:21:27,156 --> 00:21:30,490
He talks about you all the time.
536
00:21:30,491 --> 00:21:32,323
He does?
537
00:21:32,324 --> 00:21:34,190
- I mean, all the time.
- Okay!
538
00:21:34,191 --> 00:21:35,290
[Chuckles] Time to go.
539
00:21:35,291 --> 00:21:36,557
What's the rush?
540
00:21:36,558 --> 00:21:39,191
She's even prettier than you said.
541
00:21:39,192 --> 00:21:40,424
Mike!
542
00:21:40,425 --> 00:21:42,658
You know, he'd never
tell you this himself...
543
00:21:42,659 --> 00:21:45,559
He's far too shy.
544
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:48,158
He likes you...
545
00:21:48,159 --> 00:21:49,926
- A lot.
- Well, uh...
546
00:21:49,927 --> 00:21:50,927
I think it's time we took off.
547
00:21:50,928 --> 00:21:52,660
Uh, bye, Tracy.
548
00:21:52,661 --> 00:21:53,993
I'll just see you Monday.
549
00:21:53,994 --> 00:21:55,560
Yeah, I'll see you Monday.
550
00:21:55,561 --> 00:21:58,394
What the fuck did you do that for?
551
00:21:58,395 --> 00:22:00,361
You practically got us engaged.
552
00:22:00,362 --> 00:22:02,595
Well, I want to dance with
the bride at her wedding.
553
00:22:02,596 --> 00:22:04,562
[Slaps butt]
554
00:22:04,563 --> 00:22:05,995
And Tracy too.
555
00:22:05,996 --> 00:22:08,129
[Groans] Shit.
556
00:22:08,130 --> 00:22:10,062
By the way, where'd Michael go?
557
00:22:10,063 --> 00:22:13,030
What time is it? 11:00.
558
00:22:13,031 --> 00:22:15,530
Time for Babylon. Night's just starting.
559
00:22:15,531 --> 00:22:17,164
Well, that's just where we're going.
560
00:22:17,165 --> 00:22:19,398
- You've been there before?
- Sure.
561
00:22:19,399 --> 00:22:21,198
- A lot.
- Really?
562
00:22:21,199 --> 00:22:23,331
I didn't know they
had kiddie memberships.
563
00:22:23,332 --> 00:22:24,365
You have to be a member?
564
00:22:24,366 --> 00:22:27,532
Can't get in without a card.
565
00:22:27,533 --> 00:22:28,500
[Sighs]
566
00:22:28,501 --> 00:22:30,101
Here.
567
00:22:30,102 --> 00:22:32,867
You can have mine.
568
00:22:32,868 --> 00:22:34,900
I'm through with it.
569
00:22:34,901 --> 00:22:37,101
He's paid his dues.
570
00:22:37,102 --> 00:22:38,568
Thanks!
571
00:22:38,569 --> 00:22:40,068
[Dance music, chatter]
572
00:22:40,069 --> 00:22:43,236
- I.D.?
- Right here.
573
00:22:45,169 --> 00:22:47,103
Born 1952?
574
00:22:47,104 --> 00:22:49,336
You look damn good for your age, Vic.
575
00:22:49,337 --> 00:22:52,336
[Dance music]
576
00:22:52,337 --> 00:23:00,306
♪ ♪
577
00:23:17,542 --> 00:23:18,941
You wanna go?
578
00:23:19,142 --> 00:23:21,175
What for?
579
00:23:21,176 --> 00:23:24,309
We just got here.
580
00:23:24,310 --> 00:23:27,342
All right, come on.
581
00:23:27,343 --> 00:23:35,212
♪ ♪
582
00:23:42,313 --> 00:23:43,445
Oh!
583
00:23:43,446 --> 00:23:45,579
What would you do if
you actually had to go?
584
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:47,979
Find a scat queen.
585
00:23:47,980 --> 00:23:50,046
Gross.
586
00:23:50,147 --> 00:23:53,781
Didn't your mom ever teach
you to wash your hands?
587
00:23:53,782 --> 00:23:56,900
_
588
00:24:00,983 --> 00:24:02,782
[Snorting]
589
00:24:02,783 --> 00:24:06,850
[Grunts]
590
00:24:06,851 --> 00:24:09,250
Careful, it's strong.
591
00:24:09,251 --> 00:24:11,917
[Inhales deeply]
592
00:24:11,918 --> 00:24:15,085
[Laughs] Nice.
593
00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:20,219
I got it from Tommy Hagger.
594
00:24:20,220 --> 00:24:22,419
He can get anything.
595
00:24:22,420 --> 00:24:25,053
He got me that Superman
episode with George Reeves,
596
00:24:25,054 --> 00:24:27,754
the only one ever shot in color.
597
00:24:27,755 --> 00:24:31,520
It's so ancient, you
can even see the strings.
598
00:24:31,521 --> 00:24:35,521
Oh, did I tell you what I got on eBay?
599
00:24:35,522 --> 00:24:39,789
A vintage MEGO Lynda
Carter Wonder Woman doll.
600
00:24:39,790 --> 00:24:42,922
Mint, in box.
601
00:24:42,923 --> 00:24:44,223
It cost me an entire week's salary,
602
00:24:44,224 --> 00:24:45,790
but it was so worth it.
603
00:24:45,791 --> 00:24:48,990
[Both chuckle]
604
00:24:48,991 --> 00:24:51,824
Mikey, you are so pathetic.
605
00:24:51,825 --> 00:24:54,824
[Chuckles]
606
00:24:54,825 --> 00:24:57,492
I also got that photo.
607
00:24:57,493 --> 00:25:00,393
The one of Patrick
Swayze with his shirt off.
608
00:25:00,394 --> 00:25:02,760
Really?
609
00:25:02,761 --> 00:25:04,259
It must be all yellow by now,
610
00:25:04,260 --> 00:25:07,860
cum stains all over it.
611
00:25:07,861 --> 00:25:10,094
He's still beautiful.
612
00:25:10,095 --> 00:25:14,461
We owe it all to him. [Chuckles]
613
00:25:14,462 --> 00:25:15,995
We should write him a fan letter.
614
00:25:15,996 --> 00:25:19,395
I did.
615
00:25:19,396 --> 00:25:21,395
- No.
- [Laughs]
616
00:25:21,396 --> 00:25:23,130
Really? When?
617
00:25:23,131 --> 00:25:25,864
A long time ago. [Laughs]
618
00:25:25,865 --> 00:25:28,197
What did you say?
619
00:25:28,198 --> 00:25:30,031
I don't remember.
620
00:25:30,032 --> 00:25:32,965
"My friend and I think you're so hot!"
621
00:25:32,966 --> 00:25:34,397
He never wrote back.
622
00:25:34,398 --> 00:25:35,931
[Laughs]
623
00:25:35,932 --> 00:25:38,031
Fuck him.
624
00:25:38,032 --> 00:25:41,200
You still got me.
625
00:26:00,270 --> 00:26:01,803
What are you doing?
626
00:26:01,804 --> 00:26:03,836
[Laughs] Nothing.
627
00:26:03,837 --> 00:26:06,905
It must be the trail mix.
628
00:26:08,438 --> 00:26:12,338
Yeah. Must be.
629
00:26:12,339 --> 00:26:16,240
Come on. Let's go back.
630
00:26:19,673 --> 00:26:22,707
[Dance music]
631
00:26:22,708 --> 00:26:25,874
♪ ♪
632
00:26:25,875 --> 00:26:29,841
Come on, let's go up
the stairs over there.
633
00:26:29,842 --> 00:26:31,341
♪ ♪
634
00:26:31,342 --> 00:26:32,741
Let's check out the bar.
635
00:26:32,742 --> 00:26:34,142
Maybe that guy you
made me lose is there.
636
00:26:34,143 --> 00:26:38,709
I didn't make you lose him.
637
00:26:38,710 --> 00:26:40,009
Time to organize a search party.
638
00:26:40,010 --> 00:26:41,977
- Who's missing?
- Katsuo!
639
00:26:41,978 --> 00:26:44,144
I was talking to dungeon master Don,
640
00:26:44,145 --> 00:26:45,743
who wants to mummify me.
641
00:26:45,744 --> 00:26:47,077
Have you noticed that the
world's getting weirder?
642
00:26:47,078 --> 00:26:49,844
Anyway, I turned
around, and he was gone.
643
00:26:49,845 --> 00:26:52,945
I have a feeling he'll be all right.
644
00:26:52,946 --> 00:26:55,745
He doesn't speak a word of English.
645
00:26:55,746 --> 00:26:58,846
A... and he's so sweet, so innocent.
646
00:26:58,847 --> 00:27:00,680
What if some cock-hungry queen
647
00:27:00,681 --> 00:27:02,213
tries to have his way with him?
648
00:27:02,214 --> 00:27:04,247
I thought you already did.
649
00:27:04,248 --> 00:27:06,881
He's around somewhere.
I'm sure you'll find him.
650
00:27:06,882 --> 00:27:09,882
Thanks.
651
00:27:09,883 --> 00:27:12,950
♪ ♪
652
00:27:21,785 --> 00:27:24,117
Target sighted. All systems go.
653
00:27:24,118 --> 00:27:27,284
See you later, Mikey.
654
00:27:27,285 --> 00:27:30,786
♪ ♪
655
00:27:30,787 --> 00:27:33,118
Hey, how you doing?
656
00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:35,019
Good, glad to hear it.
657
00:27:35,020 --> 00:27:37,986
Hey, how's it going?
658
00:27:37,987 --> 00:27:40,887
Ah, you know, no complaints. Thanks.
659
00:27:40,888 --> 00:27:42,953
Hey, hey, can I buy you a drink?
660
00:27:42,954 --> 00:27:45,888
Yeah, I'll take a beer.
661
00:27:45,889 --> 00:27:47,155
Oh, it's you.
662
00:27:47,156 --> 00:27:50,256
Oh, fuck you!
663
00:27:51,990 --> 00:27:53,989
What are you on?
664
00:27:53,990 --> 00:27:56,589
Nothing.
665
00:27:56,590 --> 00:28:00,124
A little of Brian's mix.
666
00:28:00,125 --> 00:28:01,590
Any luck?
667
00:28:01,591 --> 00:28:04,057
Oh, I'm heading for an
all-time season record.
668
00:28:04,058 --> 00:28:06,725
Eight straight... actually,
make that not-so-straight...
669
00:28:06,726 --> 00:28:08,858
No-hitters.
670
00:28:08,859 --> 00:28:11,658
♪ Dance, dance with me ♪
671
00:28:11,659 --> 00:28:14,259
Blake just winked at you.
672
00:28:14,260 --> 00:28:17,826
He's got some crystal meth in his eye.
673
00:28:17,827 --> 00:28:18,993
He did it again!
674
00:28:18,994 --> 00:28:21,693
I told you, he likes you!
675
00:28:21,694 --> 00:28:24,194
Why don't you just go
over and ask him to dance?
676
00:28:24,195 --> 00:28:25,227
'Cause he'll just say, "come back
677
00:28:25,228 --> 00:28:27,694
when you get a hair transplant
and some liposuction."
678
00:28:27,695 --> 00:28:31,328
You do not need a hair
transplant and liposuction.
679
00:28:31,329 --> 00:28:33,996
Besides, nobody would
be that cruel to you,
680
00:28:33,997 --> 00:28:36,196
except maybe yourself.
681
00:28:36,197 --> 00:28:37,730
Yeah, well, I'm gonna take off.
682
00:28:37,731 --> 00:28:39,897
Come on. It's too early!
683
00:28:39,898 --> 00:28:41,230
Yeah, or too late, depending which side
684
00:28:41,231 --> 00:28:44,131
of the dance floor you
happen to be standing on.
685
00:28:44,132 --> 00:28:46,998
Well, maybe you should try going after,
686
00:28:46,999 --> 00:28:49,799
you know, someone...
687
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:53,699
Well, like... like
you, and not someone...
688
00:28:53,700 --> 00:28:56,167
Young and cute? Thanks.
689
00:28:56,168 --> 00:28:58,800
That's not how I meant it!
690
00:28:58,801 --> 00:28:59,867
Hell, I should talk.
691
00:28:59,868 --> 00:29:03,601
I can't get anybody
interested in me either.
692
00:29:03,602 --> 00:29:07,102
Yeah, but you could, if you wanted.
693
00:29:07,103 --> 00:29:08,135
[Sighs]
694
00:29:08,136 --> 00:29:12,536
♪ Dance with me ♪
695
00:29:12,537 --> 00:29:14,969
You're worth so much more
than you know, Michael.
696
00:29:14,970 --> 00:29:16,236
♪ ♪
697
00:29:16,237 --> 00:29:19,570
♪ dance with me ♪
698
00:29:19,571 --> 00:29:21,237
I'll call you tomorrow.
699
00:29:21,238 --> 00:29:23,738
♪ Dance ♪
700
00:29:23,739 --> 00:29:25,305
♪ dance with me ♪
701
00:29:25,306 --> 00:29:28,572
♪ ♪
702
00:29:28,573 --> 00:29:30,873
♪ dance ♪
703
00:29:30,874 --> 00:29:33,673
♪ dance with me ♪
704
00:29:33,674 --> 00:29:35,573
♪ ♪
705
00:29:35,574 --> 00:29:38,574
Look! There he is. There's Brian.
706
00:29:38,575 --> 00:29:42,541
♪ Dance with me ♪
707
00:29:42,542 --> 00:29:43,941
Shit!
708
00:29:43,942 --> 00:29:47,843
[Indistinct chatter]
709
00:29:55,777 --> 00:29:58,745
Didn't want to dance?
710
00:30:00,711 --> 00:30:03,978
Oh, uh... Yeah, I'm
not much of a dancer.
711
00:30:03,979 --> 00:30:06,778
Although I... I enjoy dancing.
712
00:30:06,779 --> 00:30:10,579
I... I didn't realize
you were asking, uh...
713
00:30:10,580 --> 00:30:12,146
You taking off?
714
00:30:12,147 --> 00:30:13,747
Yeah.
715
00:30:13,748 --> 00:30:15,947
Yeah, you know, sometimes it just, uh...
716
00:30:15,948 --> 00:30:18,080
Uh, it gets a little too...
717
00:30:18,081 --> 00:30:21,881
Intense?
718
00:30:21,882 --> 00:30:23,614
Intense, that's...
719
00:30:23,615 --> 00:30:25,115
[Chuckles] That's a good word.
720
00:30:25,116 --> 00:30:27,081
Yeah, I know what you mean.
721
00:30:27,082 --> 00:30:30,150
Sometimes it gets a little too
intense in there for me too.
722
00:30:33,617 --> 00:30:35,716
You going home?
723
00:30:35,717 --> 00:30:38,819
Do you want some company?
724
00:30:40,485 --> 00:30:43,553
Well, you know, it's...
It's a little late.
725
00:30:45,686 --> 00:30:47,886
And, uh...
726
00:30:51,054 --> 00:30:53,753
Sure.
727
00:30:53,754 --> 00:30:55,453
Are you sure?
728
00:30:55,454 --> 00:30:58,488
Sure. I mean, i... if you're sure.
729
00:30:58,489 --> 00:30:59,987
[Laughs] I'm sure.
730
00:30:59,988 --> 00:31:03,454
[Stammering]
731
00:31:03,455 --> 00:31:04,455
Well, then.
732
00:31:04,456 --> 00:31:06,155
[Laughs]
733
00:31:06,156 --> 00:31:07,489
[Chuckles]
734
00:31:07,490 --> 00:31:10,523
[Dance music]
735
00:31:10,524 --> 00:31:18,425
♪ ♪
736
00:31:27,593 --> 00:31:32,526
What is the meaning of this?
737
00:31:32,527 --> 00:31:33,527
Kane.
738
00:31:33,528 --> 00:31:35,427
Kane! Kane!
739
00:31:35,428 --> 00:31:38,460
Kane!
740
00:31:46,831 --> 00:31:51,863
[Phone ringing]
741
00:31:51,864 --> 00:31:53,130
Hello?
742
00:31:53,131 --> 00:31:56,597
How do you say "tacky little
cocksucker" in Japanese?
743
00:31:56,598 --> 00:31:58,565
Do you know what time it is?
744
00:31:58,566 --> 00:32:02,132
It's okay, sweetie. Who was that?
745
00:32:02,133 --> 00:32:03,465
Emmett.
746
00:32:03,466 --> 00:32:05,599
I think he just found out
what "Kane" means.
747
00:32:05,600 --> 00:32:08,133
- [Baby fussing]
- Oh.
748
00:32:08,134 --> 00:32:10,099
I'm sorry I woke you and the baby.
749
00:32:10,100 --> 00:32:11,867
I know you need your rest.
750
00:32:11,868 --> 00:32:13,600
I was up anyway.
751
00:32:13,601 --> 00:32:17,434
You were? So was I.
752
00:32:17,435 --> 00:32:20,068
Just thinking about all
the terrible things I said.
753
00:32:20,069 --> 00:32:21,569
No, I should've stood up to him.
754
00:32:21,570 --> 00:32:22,503
I should've.
755
00:32:22,504 --> 00:32:24,069
No, it was best to be practical.
756
00:32:24,070 --> 00:32:26,469
I mean, this way, Gus... [Groans]
757
00:32:26,470 --> 00:32:28,903
How am I ever going to
get used to that name?
758
00:32:28,904 --> 00:32:33,537
May keep his foreskin
but still be provided for.
759
00:32:33,538 --> 00:32:35,971
Look, it doesn't matter who's right.
760
00:32:35,972 --> 00:32:38,371
We can't allow Brian to come between us,
761
00:32:38,372 --> 00:32:39,638
as much as he'd like to.
762
00:32:39,639 --> 00:32:40,839
And you know he would.
763
00:32:40,840 --> 00:32:42,039
Even if he is the father,
764
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:44,739
we're still the parents. You and me.
765
00:32:44,740 --> 00:32:47,706
Gus belongs to us.
766
00:32:47,707 --> 00:32:49,840
And that's why we had him.
767
00:32:49,841 --> 00:32:51,106
Why you had him.
768
00:32:51,107 --> 00:32:52,841
Aside from saying "push" and "breathe,"
769
00:32:52,842 --> 00:32:54,807
I really didn't have
that much to do with it.
770
00:32:54,808 --> 00:32:57,775
You had everything to do with it.
771
00:32:57,776 --> 00:33:00,976
I never would have had him without you.
772
00:33:05,977 --> 00:33:08,577
Just remember that,
773
00:33:08,578 --> 00:33:12,745
next time you're
wondering who comes first.
774
00:33:14,412 --> 00:33:15,911
Oh.
775
00:33:15,912 --> 00:33:18,945
[Dance music]
776
00:33:30,882 --> 00:33:33,747
You know, the worst part is
not that he was unfaithful
777
00:33:33,748 --> 00:33:35,115
or even a slut.
778
00:33:35,216 --> 00:33:37,649
I mean, nobody's perfect.
779
00:33:38,650 --> 00:33:42,650
It's that he said he loved me.
780
00:33:42,651 --> 00:33:44,650
I mean, he lied to me!
781
00:33:44,651 --> 00:33:48,117
How could he lie to you?
He doesn't speak English.
782
00:33:48,118 --> 00:33:51,517
Look, I'm the one who told you that.
783
00:33:51,518 --> 00:33:54,452
I'm sorry.
784
00:33:56,086 --> 00:33:58,519
My own fault.
785
00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:03,120
Why do I always give my
heart away to trash, huh?
786
00:34:03,121 --> 00:34:07,086
Because you want to
see it in the dumpster?
787
00:34:07,087 --> 00:34:14,355
♪ ♪
788
00:34:16,789 --> 00:34:19,122
He's not getting away this time.
789
00:34:19,123 --> 00:34:20,555
♪ We're gonna get there soon ♪
790
00:34:20,556 --> 00:34:22,356
♪ we're gonna be okay ♪
791
00:34:22,357 --> 00:34:24,289
♪ the sun will shine again ♪
792
00:34:24,290 --> 00:34:25,823
♪ we'll make a better day ♪
793
00:34:25,824 --> 00:34:32,192
♪ ♪
794
00:34:42,294 --> 00:34:44,326
[Chuckles]
795
00:34:44,327 --> 00:34:46,594
It's a nice place. You own it?
796
00:34:46,595 --> 00:34:47,993
Oh, absolutely.
797
00:34:47,994 --> 00:34:51,595
You know, your home is your
most important investment.
798
00:34:52,196 --> 00:34:54,495
[Clears throat] It's
what we tell our clients.
799
00:34:54,496 --> 00:34:56,029
Do you want a...
800
00:34:56,030 --> 00:34:58,463
A beer or some scotch?
801
00:34:58,464 --> 00:35:01,429
No, just some water. I don't drink.
802
00:35:01,430 --> 00:35:03,297
Well, uh, take off your jacket.
803
00:35:03,298 --> 00:35:06,264
I... I'll be right back.
804
00:35:15,233 --> 00:35:17,532
Here you go.
805
00:35:17,533 --> 00:35:20,000
Thanks.
806
00:35:28,202 --> 00:35:31,169
- [Sighs]
- [Chuckles]
807
00:35:35,570 --> 00:35:37,269
You're sexy, you know that?
808
00:35:37,270 --> 00:35:38,436
[Sighs]
809
00:35:38,437 --> 00:35:41,436
Yeah... Frankly, no.
810
00:35:41,437 --> 00:35:44,804
That's why you are...
811
00:35:47,371 --> 00:35:50,539
Because you don't know you are.
812
00:35:55,307 --> 00:36:00,041
Well, I do know...
813
00:36:00,042 --> 00:36:02,475
That you are beautiful.
814
00:36:15,944 --> 00:36:19,077
[Exhales]
815
00:36:35,013 --> 00:36:38,046
[Dance music]
816
00:36:38,047 --> 00:36:44,147
♪ ♪
817
00:36:44,148 --> 00:36:45,781
Bastard.
818
00:36:45,782 --> 00:36:48,248
He doesn't even have to try.
819
00:36:49,217 --> 00:36:52,915
♪ ♪
820
00:36:52,916 --> 00:36:56,917
Look, he's got someone.
821
00:37:07,185 --> 00:37:09,918
- Hold it.
- You're not going?
822
00:37:09,919 --> 00:37:12,385
[Laughs]
823
00:37:12,386 --> 00:37:15,387
No way.
824
00:37:22,855 --> 00:37:26,454
- What is that?
- It's GHB.
825
00:37:26,455 --> 00:37:28,489
You ever use it?
826
00:37:28,490 --> 00:37:29,857
Once in a while.
827
00:37:29,858 --> 00:37:32,424
Sex is awesome with it.
828
00:37:34,190 --> 00:37:36,223
You first.
829
00:37:36,224 --> 00:37:37,289
Ah...
830
00:37:37,290 --> 00:37:40,424
Go on.
831
00:37:40,425 --> 00:37:43,758
[Clicks tongue]
832
00:37:46,693 --> 00:37:49,925
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
833
00:37:49,926 --> 00:37:53,192
[Laughs]
834
00:37:53,193 --> 00:37:56,161
I don't feel anything.
835
00:38:00,361 --> 00:38:03,294
[Dance music]
836
00:38:03,295 --> 00:38:06,295
♪ ♪
837
00:38:06,296 --> 00:38:09,896
He's not! He can't!
838
00:38:09,897 --> 00:38:12,362
He can.
839
00:38:12,363 --> 00:38:14,963
♪ The music ♪
840
00:38:23,365 --> 00:38:27,432
How does he do it? What does he say?
841
00:38:27,433 --> 00:38:31,666
We'll never know.
842
00:38:31,667 --> 00:38:36,200
But whatever it is, he
says it for all of us.
843
00:38:36,201 --> 00:38:38,735
♪ ♪
844
00:38:46,436 --> 00:38:47,668
Hey.
845
00:38:47,669 --> 00:38:49,302
- Hey, you all right?
- Yeah.
846
00:38:49,303 --> 00:38:55,271
[Clock ticking]
847
00:39:21,642 --> 00:39:25,175
[Pop music, cheering]
848
00:39:25,176 --> 00:39:26,308
♪ He won't trust... ♪
849
00:39:26,309 --> 00:39:31,142
Is he gonna do it with both of them?
850
00:39:31,143 --> 00:39:32,977
He can do anything he wants.
851
00:39:32,978 --> 00:39:36,377
♪ After a long day... ♪
852
00:39:36,378 --> 00:39:38,144
What are you doing?
853
00:39:38,145 --> 00:39:42,879
♪ ♪
854
00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:47,346
♪ hey, look, the real
boy wonder is here ♪
855
00:39:47,347 --> 00:39:51,746
♪ everybody's gonna
stand up and cheer ♪
856
00:39:51,747 --> 00:39:54,814
♪ see him shining so bright ♪
857
00:39:54,815 --> 00:39:58,014
♪ like a sky full of stars at night ♪
858
00:39:58,015 --> 00:40:02,015
♪ hour after hour ♪
859
00:40:02,016 --> 00:40:05,983
♪ he's got the superpower ♪
860
00:40:05,984 --> 00:40:09,583
♪ the real boy wonder is here ♪
861
00:40:09,584 --> 00:40:12,583
♪ and he's all mine ♪
862
00:40:12,584 --> 00:40:19,051
♪ ♪
863
00:40:19,052 --> 00:40:22,285
♪ hey, whoa ♪
864
00:40:22,286 --> 00:40:26,752
♪ whoa oh ♪
865
00:40:26,753 --> 00:40:29,888
♪ hey, whoa ♪
866
00:40:29,889 --> 00:40:33,854
♪ whoa oh ♪
867
00:40:44,257 --> 00:40:48,123
What's the boy doing?
868
00:40:48,124 --> 00:40:50,223
♪ Everybody's gonna stand up ♪
869
00:40:50,224 --> 00:40:52,657
- Oh, God. Stop!
- [Gagging]
870
00:40:52,658 --> 00:40:57,224
Oh, my God, stop!
871
00:40:57,225 --> 00:40:59,125
- Stop!
- [Gagging]
872
00:40:59,126 --> 00:41:03,659
- Ted! Oh, my God!
- [Choking]
873
00:41:03,660 --> 00:41:07,093
Ted!
874
00:41:07,094 --> 00:41:10,760
♪ The real boy wonder is here ♪
875
00:41:10,761 --> 00:41:13,160
[Gagging]
876
00:41:13,161 --> 00:41:16,061
♪ ♪
877
00:41:16,062 --> 00:41:19,595
♪ hey, whoa ♪
878
00:41:19,596 --> 00:41:23,762
♪ whoa oh ♪
879
00:41:23,763 --> 00:41:26,863
♪ hey, whoa ♪
880
00:41:26,864 --> 00:41:28,997
♪ whoa oh ♪
881
00:41:45,167 --> 00:41:49,000
♪ hey, whoa ♪
882
00:41:49,001 --> 00:41:53,001
♪ whoa oh ♪
883
00:41:53,002 --> 00:41:55,902
♪ hey, whoa ♪
884
00:41:55,903 --> 00:41:59,903
♪ whoa oh ♪
885
00:41:59,904 --> 00:42:06,637
♪ ♪
886
00:42:06,638 --> 00:42:11,504
♪ hey, look, the real
boy wonder is here ♪
887
00:42:11,505 --> 00:42:14,704
♪ everybody's gonna stand up and cheer ♪
888
00:42:14,705 --> 00:42:18,739
♪ see him shining so bright ♪
889
00:42:18,740 --> 00:42:22,006
♪ like a sky full of stars at night ♪
890
00:42:22,007 --> 00:42:25,606
♪ hour after hour ♪
891
00:42:25,607 --> 00:42:30,174
♪ he's got the superpower ♪
892
00:42:30,175 --> 00:42:34,074
♪ the real boy wonder is here ♪
893
00:42:34,075 --> 00:42:36,642
♪ and he's all mine ♪
894
00:42:36,643 --> 00:42:39,009
♪ ♪
895
00:42:39,010 --> 00:42:42,609
♪ hey, whoa ♪
896
00:42:42,610 --> 00:42:46,477
♪ whoa oh ♪
897
00:42:46,478 --> 00:42:49,710
♪ hey, whoa ♪
898
00:42:49,711 --> 00:42:52,878
♪ whoa oh ♪
899
00:42:52,879 --> 00:42:59,713
♪ ♪
900
00:43:02,047 --> 00:43:03,626
♪ let's get soakin' wet ♪
901
00:43:03,627 --> 00:43:08,627
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
902
00:44:48,632 --> 00:44:50,633
♪ come on ♪
903
00:44:50,634 --> 00:44:54,637
♪ ♪
904
00:44:54,638 --> 00:44:59,242
♪ I wanna hear it ♪
905
00:44:59,243 --> 00:45:00,211
♪ let's get soakin' wet ♪
60537
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