All language subtitles for yes_dear_s01e24_jimmy_and_the_amazing

Step right up! Who wants to play whack
-a -mole? Win yourself a stuffed dog!

Daddy, can I play?

Uh, I don't know, Dominic. You have to
win to get the prize, and this kid's a

lot older than you.

Can I try?

All right, why not?

Here you go, buddy.

We'll give it a shot.

Just one more player. Need one more
player for whack -a -mole. Win yourself

stuffed dog!

I'll play.

All right, players, get your hammers
ready.

On your mark, get set. Hold on a second.

What's more important to you, playing
the game or winning the dog?

I want the dog. Give me the hammer.

Move, Nathan.

The daddies are playing this one.

On your mark.

Jimmy, honey, I know it's Saturday and
everything, but are you going to shower

today?

Why, are we going somewhere?

Look, honey, I know I've never been the
pickiest wife in the world, but you're

starting to slip a little. You know, I
mean, you hardly ever clip your toenails

anymore.

You jab me all night long. It's like
sleeping with a mongoose.

Hey, look, you know something? Maybe I
keep my toenails long as a defense

mechanism against your scratchy,
unshaven legs.

Yeah, that's right. The mongoose has to
fight off the porcupine.

Wow, I guess I'm slipping, too, huh?

Oh, my God, we're going to end up like
the couple if you shuffle around the

in their sweatpants like it's a
competition to see who could care less.

All right, I'll tell you what. I will
shower and clip my nails if you shave

legs every couple of days. Deal?

Nah, screw it.

Hey.

So? Did you guys get in a minivan?

Yep. She's mad because she didn't get to
haggle with the salesperson.

What do you mean? You paid sticker?

No, I went on the internet last night. I
found out exactly how much it should

cost, and we were in and out of there in
an hour. You took all the fun out of

it. Now, where's the thrill?

I love watching some pathetic loser beg
me to say yes for six hours until he's

sweating through his polyester blazer.

Sounds like when Jimmy proposed to me.

So where is it? We're picking it up
tomorrow.

What'd you do with the old one?

Trading it in.

What do you mean? Dude, you're trading
it in? They are ripping you off.

You'd get a much better price if you
sell it yourself.

No, I don't sell cars. I'd have to fix
every little thing that's wrong with it.

Plus, with the kids, there's food stuck
everywhere.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

I got crumbs and dried milk in every
crevice.

I thought you didn't let the kids eat in
your car.

I'm not talking about my car.

It's a Cheerio.

Where the hell did that come from?

those things that are wrong with your
car they would be really easy to fix

maybe for you but me and fixing cars we
just don't mix you know it's like oil

and a guy that doesn't like to touch oil
come on no if besides

if i sell it myself you know i'm gonna
have to deal with the jerks calling all

the time i'm gonna have to go on test
drives with the idiots i just don't want

to deal with people you ever think you
might be happier living in a cave

It's crossed my mind.

Listen, man, I can't sit here and let
them rip you off. Let me work on the

I'll sell it for you.

No. No, no, no, listen, man. I really, I
like doing this kind of stuff.

Besides, this way you can make some
money and you don't have to do anything.

Well, I'll tell you what, Jimmy. If you
want to put the time and effort into

doing this, you can keep the extra
money. All I want is what they were

give me for the trade.

You're kidding.

No, I mean, you're doing the work. You
should get the money.

Oh, thanks, man.

No problem.

What night this week do we have
spaghetti?

Thursday night, I believe.

I gotta take a shower.

Hey.

Looks like Jimmy's got a customer for
the minivan out there.

Yeah, yeah. They came back from a test
drive and they've been talking in the

front seat for half an hour.

Well, either they're closing the deal or
Jimmy's trying to get the guy to take

off his bra.

Hey, did you sell the car? Yeah.

Nice work.

What'd you get for it?

Well, actually, I can't believe it, but
I got $3 ,000 over the trade -in value.

Wow, you're kidding.

Nope. But I did tell the guy as a bonus
he can bring over his family and use the

pool anytime.

But we don't have a pool.

Yeah, I told him we live in a house
across the street.

Listen, I had no idea I was going to
make this much money. Why don't we split

it? No, Jimmy, you put a lot of effort
into this. You deserve it.

I can't believe this.

What are you going to do with all the
money?

Gosh, I don't know, man. I mean, usually
I'm so far behind that whenever I get

money, people are lying enough to take
it back for me, you know?

Visa, the phone company, those home
shopping bastards that sell those Civil

chess sets.

I mean, I thought the whole set cost
$50, not like 50 per piece.

What would you do with the money?

Me? Yeah.

I really want to do the smart thing with
the money.

Well, I'm just surprised because you've
never come to me for something like this

before. Well, no, it's just that money
is your area of expertise. I want to

what you have to say.

Well, thanks, man.

In college, I took some of the
fraternity's money and doubled it with a

smart stock picks.

Really?

One time in my fraternity, I made $300
eating a handful of kitty litter.

Okay, well, great. Hey, hey, listen, so
what do you think I should do with the

money?

Well, my advice is to look ahead. You
know, look towards the future.

Dominic and Logan are growing up really
fast. You don't want to regret not

having done enough for them.

Yeah, you know what? That's smart. And
what about your future? I mean, you've

got to make sure you're happy. You know,
where do you see yourself in 20 years?

I don't know. Where do you see me in 20
years?

Hopefully just at holidays and other
family functions.

Oh. Great, what's wrong?

I was in the bathroom gargling and a
daddy long legs landed on my forehead. I

swallowed four ounces of scope.

You okay?

Yeah, well, I had to dry heaves for five
minutes, but it smelled delightful.

What's all that stuff?

Well, Jimmy and I were talking about
what he should do with the money made,

last night I downloaded some information
on mutual funds. If we pick the right

stock, you know, historically it should
double every eight or nine years.

I knew I should have married a nerd.

Hey, guys, come on. I want to show you
something outside.

Wow, you really did a lot of research
for Jimmy. Yeah, it felt good that he'd

come to me for advice. And more
importantly, it's nice to see him

responsible about money.

Check it out.

I bought a boat.

Wow.

You bought a boat.

Jimmy, are you sure this is a smart
thing to do? Yeah, it's going to be

over the weekend. So you spent the whole
$3 ,000 on this thing? Yeah, the guy

gave me a great deal. And I'm not the
only one who thinks so, you know. All of

his neighbors were cheering and waving
as I drove it off his front lawn.

I don't know about this, Jimmy. I mean,
what about the advice that Greg gave

you? Yeah, what about the advice I gave
you? What are you guys talking about? I

bought this boat because of Greg's
advice.

Christine, how wonderful is it going to
be for our family's future with all of

us out on a boat? I mean, once I get
this thing running, I'm telling you...

doesn't even run?

Jimmy, this was not my advice. This is
totally irresponsible.

Wait a minute. What is irresponsible
about creating memories for our kids

are going to last a lifetime?

I wish my dad had bought a boat.

The only family outings I remember were
car trips to Richmond and picking my

cousins from detox.

Well, I guess... could be fun. I don't
know. I kind of always dreamed of owning

a boat. Yeah, and look, man, there's
seats for all four of us, plus room for

kids. Oh, honey, I don't think the kids
are old enough to be on a boat, but I

think they should wait a few years
before they see their mother drunk and

topless.

I can't believe you didn't listen to me.
You totally missed the big picture. No,

man, this is the big picture. We only
live for so long.

We don't want to look back on our lives
and realize we didn't enjoy it to the

fullest. You'll see, man.

There's nothing like being out on the
water, wind in your hair, all the cares

the mainland behind you. What cares,
Jimmy? Your life is completely devoid of

any responsibility. There are dandelions
who care more about their future.

Guys, come on. Let's just have fun on
the boat.

Look, look, it's got a horn.

I'm sure Jimmy will have it working in
no time.

You know why you have a problem with
this boat, Greg?

Because you don't understand fun. Yeah,
you're determined to walk through life

with a stick up your butt.

Unless that turned out to be fun. Then,
of course, well, you take it out.

I just think grown men should think
about their future. That's all. You know

something? I am sick of you judging me.

I bought a boat. It's my money. I'll do
with it what I want.

Yeah? Well, it's my yard.

Move your damn boat. Yeah, fine.

I will.

Christine, put your top back on. We've
got to push the boat out in the street.

How's the boat coming along?

Oh, it's almost done.

I thought the only thing left to do was
think of a name.

What's up?

Nothing. We're just thinking up names
for Jimmy's boat.

How about the NS Jimmy's an idiot?

Greg, when are you going to get over
this boat stuff?

Oh, I'm over it. I love it. I love
having that eyesore parked in front of

house. You're the one who made him move
it out there.

Jimmy's doing everything he can to make
this as easy on you as possible.

What the hell is this?

Jimmy Danker.

What? Yeah, he needed to clean it off
and had all this weird green stuff

on it.

So we put it in our dishwasher?

See, I told him it was a bad idea, but
look at this thing, huh? You could eat

off it.

Good, now our plates are covered in
whale crap.

I can't believe Jimmy is so stupid.

When are you going to let this go?

So we didn't take your advice. Big deal.

And maybe Jimmy's values are different
from yours.

Well, my values are better. My values
got us a nice house, a nice car,

security, and overall a pretty nice
life. Well, maybe Jimmy doesn't want

life. No, please. The only reason Jimmy
wouldn't want my life is because he'd

have to support Jimmy. He'd be like a
snake trying to eat his own tail.

Okay, look.

Buying the boat was a little crazy. It's
something we never, ever would have

done. But who's to say we're right?

Maybe we just aren't frivolous enough.

What is that supposed to mean?

All we ever do with our money is put it
away.

We never do anything fun with it. That's
not true.

At the end of every year, we take all
our statements, we lay them out on the

table, and we see how much interest
we've earned.

How is that not fun?

Well, yeah, that's a hoot.

But I'm talking about spending our money
on something exciting.

You know... No, Greg, it wouldn't kill
you to be a little more frivolous.

Oh, I'll be a little more frivolous
then.

Look, the sandwich, I think I'll be
frivolous with it.

Why don't I just put it on top of my
head and dance around a little?

Huh? Oh, this is fun. I'm having a great
time. But is my family more secure?

No, who cares? I'm just being frivolous.

Okay. All I'm saying is a lot of people
own boats, so there must be something to

them. And I'm going to keep an open mind
about it.

Now... Would you make me another
sandwich? This one's full of hair.

The boat is done.

Kim, you want to climb aboard for its
maiden voyage?

Definitely.

Hey, Greg, look.

I know you don't understand the whole
boat thing, but just let me have one

chance to prove to you how great it is.
Jimmy. Come on, the babysitter's on the

way. You in?

Fine. Let's see what's so great about a
stupid boat.

Greg, you're going to love this, man.
I'm going to show you the time of your

life.

Jimmy, the boat looks amazing. You did
such a good job fixing it up. It was a

labor of love.

The kids were here with us.

Well, it's the first time taking them
out, so I didn't want them to be here in

case something went wrong.

What? What do you mean in case something
went wrong? If something could go

wrong, why the hell are we here?

Relax. We've got three life vets, and if
you drink fast enough, you can use that

keg as a flotation device.

What are you doing? Just drinking beer.

Hey, Greg, you want to take the wheel
for a second? Oh, I knew it. We've been

out here 15 minutes, and you're sick of
it already, aren't you? I was just

trying to be nice. Forget it, man.

Oh, my God.

Look. I see a dolphin.

Where?

Over there.

Let me see.

Oh,

cool.

Greg, check it out.

It's a stupid dolphin.

Come on. You love dolphins.

No, I don't. It's ridiculous.

What about that poster on your college
dorm room?

That was a gift, okay?

Come on. Look.

Fine. Where is it?

It's not a dolphin. That's a piece of
driftwood.

I think it's a dolphin.

Look, Kim, I think I know a dolphin when
I see one. I slept underneath one for

four years.

I can prove it. Jimmy, take us over
there.

Boy, Greg, you were lucky we were able
to find something dry on board for you

wear, huh?

You're like an idiot.

Oh, come on, Greg. You look cool.

Like the little guy in the bottom of the
fish tank.

You know, I've only seen you in baggy
pants. I had no idea that your legs were

that skinny.

Kind of like from the cat in the
bathtub.

Shut up.

Come on, Greg. You'll feel better once
you get a good meal inside you. I'm not

going into a restaurant dressed in this
wet suit. People are going to stare at

me. Oh, trust me. Nobody wants to stare
at that.

I'm not going in.

Fine. Suit yourself.

Change your mind. We'll be inside.

Hey,

this is a private slip.

You've got to move your boat over there.

But this isn't my... I don't even know
how to...

How you doing?

We'll be

right

back.

And by and by we'll defy a little bit of
gravity.

Afternoon delight.

Cocktail of a midnight night.

That dreamy look in your eye gave me a
tropical contact.

Way down in Oklahoma.

What kind of seafood do you guys think
this is?

Calamari?

I think it's a sponge.

Like a sea sponge?

No, a kitchen sponge.

Hey, I just took the boat for a ride and
it was great.

Wow, you took it out all by yourself?

I know, I was just going to move it, but
once I got out there, the wind, the

freedom, it was amazing.

That's awesome, man. Yeah, we got to get
the kids out here. We can take them

fishing and water skiing. We can take
them over to Catalina Island.

Jimmy, you were right.

The boat is awesome.

I knew you'd come around, man. And
remember you said you'd never have fun

boat. Yeah, I know.

I was wrong.

Hey, remember when I said that no one
would stare at you in that wetsuit?

I was wrong, too.

Hey,

so do you think it'd be all right if I
drive it back? Sure, no problem.

Where'd you park it?

Right here.

I mean right here.

You did tie it off, didn't you?

What's that?

Oh, my God. Is that it out there? Where?

Oh, oh, oh.

Tied it off to the dock. Yes, of course
I tied it off.

Somebody must have untied it.

Damn gangbangers.

I'll be in the car.

This is fun, isn't it, buddy?

Look at all these great boats we can
play with in here. Here's a motorboat.

Here's a tugboat.

Chugga -chugga -chugga -chugga -chugga
-chugga.

And here's a speedboat, just like the
one we used to have.

Come on, buddy, I'm really trying here.

Stop it. It's just not the same.

I'm sorry.

I just felt bad.

I was trying to help out.

Greg? Yeah?

Try the motorboat again?

Now you're talking.