All language subtitles for the.great.north.s04e11.1080p.web.h264-successfulcrab

Alanis! Get out here. Big news!

Hey, Judy.
What soothing yelling.

You're never gonna
believe what rad thing

Kima and I are about to do.

Dang. Are we
getting in some trouble?

- Is it cocaine?
- What? No.

We are going to the...

Alaska Student Summit at
the State Capitol in Juneau!

The A.S.S.?

Heh. We're about to get
a...

front-row seat to learn about
how our state legislature works.

Flying out in an hour, baby.

And the conference
starts tomorrow.

Wow, you and Kima
do a lot of school trips.

Excuse us

for being good at school so
we can go to college, Alanis.

We can't all have a
singing voice that defines

an entire generation.

You can't see it, but
I'm flipping you off.

Love a hotel buffet.

Why does cereal taste
better from a tiny box?

Cool. They
have the Dutiful Dairy

cottage cheese brand
with the racist logo.

Native women are not here
to serve you curded cheeses!

- Who are you talking to?
- Almost everyone.

Morning, girls. Eat
up. This is all free.

And I brought
plastic wrap from home!

Thanks, Mr. Golovkin.

Keep on chaperoning, bro.

All right, should we run
through our presentation?

Hey, is this seat
taken? No? Okay.

Wow. No.
Gosh.

Please sit, rebellious, strange
girl from a different school.

- Cool hair.
- Thanks.

I got in trouble for
getting colored streaks,

but I'm like, "Keep your
laws off my hair, Mom."

Have you guys
seen the schedule?

We have to sit through a lecture

from Senator Bonnie
Bunch-Legg? Barf.

Yeah, she's that
right-wing banana

who always opposes Native stuff.

My dad calls her
Bonnie Butt-Leg,

which is pretty
harsh for Walter.

So, which lectures
are you guys skipping?

We're not allowed
to skip, right?

Says who, the Man?

Well, I mean...

Yeah, this whole
thing, like, sucks,

but at the end of the day,

Judy and I are
actually reenacting

Elizabeth Peratrovich's
big speech to the legislature.

- Who?
- She was a very cool

Native activist who told honkies

to shove it way
back in the '40s.

- By getting an actual law passed.
- She's Kima's idol.

Well, her and Chucky
from Child's Play.

- I love his can-do spirit.
- Right.

Well, if you want to,
like, actually have fun,

I brought provisions.

Ooh! Gummies.

Kind
of you to share, ma'am.

Um, I don't know
what that voice is,

but it is kind of me.

'Cause these are
special gummies.

You know what I mean, right?

- Kind.
- Totally.

- I'm taking two.
- Three for me.

they kick in quick.

- What does?
- The, gummies?

They're edible. Like, edibles.

Good, 'cause
I just ate them. What?

Okay.

Wow, you guys really
are Goody Two-shoes,

and I am now realizing
that you have no idea

what just happened and I don't
want to get in trouble, so bye.

We are not
Goody Two-shoes.

In fact, you know what?

I'm gonna take that
racist cottage cheese tub

- and throw it away.
- Yeah.

Yeah, and I'll steal...

this hard-boiled egg.

Man did the
hotel lady see us?

Run away. In a cool, edgy way.

But run!

Okay, team, shall we
saddle up an early lunch

- at The Hoagie Pony?
- Hell yeah.

What are you on about, Bob Dope?

It's the jingle for
my signature sandwich,

or as I call it, my siggy swich.

The Wet Wolf. Served
at the Hoagie Pony

and named after
its creator: me, Wolf.

It's a single slice
of Swiss cheese

slathered with one
full cup each of mayo,

ketchup, mustard,
relish, hot sauce,

and Thousand Island dressing.

Everyone in the fam can't
get enough of the double-W.

Right, guys?

Yeah. Yum.

One time, Dad's accidentally
fell in the trash can

in his room, but I found
it and he loves it so much

that he ate it anyway.

Even I still cannot
believe that I did that.

Don't worry, Dad.

Tonight, we'll order you
two Wee-Wos just in case.

Babe, if you say
Wee-Wo one more time,

Wee-Wo-n't be
married much longer.

What in the Timothée
Chalamet's Dusty Dune?

The Wet Wolf is gone?

E-Excuse me, miss, what
happened to the Wet Wolf?

- We took it off the menu.
- But why? When?

You got to ask my dad.

But he's not here. He's
getting his hair plugs removed.

He wanted bangs, but they
put in too many. He couldn't see.

Well, I wish he could see this.

Rise up, my Humid Hoagie Hive.

Wait, are we supposed
to be the hive?

Yes, my Moist Militia.

That's also you.

Are you
ordering anything or...

Yes. I'll take one Salami
and Provo-Lone-Moose

- with Mayor Pepper sauce.
- Ham, no.

Now we're storming out.

Right. I will take it to go.

Whoa! Like, whoa.

Wait, is that even a word? Whoa.

Whoa? I feel weird.

Like I'm floating.

And, like, this lamp is, like,

looking at me.

Kima,
something weird is happening.

I can't stop drying my hands.

- Those hands?
- Yeah, these babies.

I keep thinking
they're dry but it's like,

"Nope, they are still wet."

Well, Judy, I guess, just,
you know, like, keep at it,

and, um, live, laugh, love
and dress for the job you want.

Yeah, great advice. I'm
gonna get back in there.

I forgot
to throw this away.

Enjoy the bottom
of the trash can,

offensive stereotype tub.

Boop.

- Hey! Kima.
- Um, hello?

What the hell? Who said
that? Am I hearing voices?

Yes, you're hearing my
voice. Down here in the trash.

Please take me
out of here. It stinks.

Thanks, honey.

Hey, you're Native.

Yes, Athabascan and Suqpiag.

Cool. I'm Tlingit.

Elizabeth Peratrovich.

Wait, wait, wait. Like, my
hero Elizabeth Peratrovich?

- The very one.
- How did you end up

- on a cottage cheese tub?
- Hell if I know, babe.

But you are friggin' lucky,
because I'm here to take

a Native gal on a
very special mission.

For real? Am I hallucinating?

Depends. Did you
accidentally eat something

that could make you
hallucinate this morning?

- No.
- You sure?

- Yeah.
- Okay, girl, if you're sure.

Judy, I have news: a
cheese ghost is talking to me,

and it's Native hero
Elizabeth Peratrovich,

and she has a mission for us.

Sounds extremely
reasonable. Let's friggin' go.

Kima, please make this
white girl stop staring at me.

Her eyes are Gigantor
and she is freaking me out.

Damn, I wish this cheese ghost

- would talk to me.
- Sorry, Jude.

I guess only I have the
power to see cheese ghosts.

- All right, let's get in your car.
- We actually came

from the airport in
that courtesy van.

Hell yeah. Let's go in that.

Like, take it?
Isn't that bad?

Ha! They stole our land.

We can borrow a friggin'
courtesy van, baby girl.

Right, right. Judy,
we're taking the van.

First I took a
hard-boiled egg,

now I'm taking a car...

I'm really escalating.

Is that Judy?

Kima? What in the wor...

Where are they
going? Kima! Judy!

This is a nightmare.

This mask is supposed to
stay on for 20 more minutes.

Okay, so what's the
mission? We're gonna, like,

go to the governor's
house and you scare him

and everyone's
like, "Dang, Kima,

you got that mansion
and that pool table, too?"

Great idea. Love
where your head's at.

But actually, we got to,
go to that restaurant first.

Walk right in the front
door and sit our asses down.

That's it? For what?

Ask
no more questions.

All will be revealed!

Okay. Judy, turn here.

This all looks so good.

Even though we
just had breakfast,

I could, like, eat, you
know? It's like I have

what I've heard
described as the munchies.

Me too.

I guess it's the excitement of
having a supernatural mission.

Um. Yeah, guys?

Hello, there. Welcome.

I'm your server, Paul.

We, unfortunately, do not allow

outside cheese
tubs at the table.

May I check yours?

No! We, we
have to leave it here.

And you have to do what we say

because I am Tracy Crabcakes.

You must not
recognize me, but, like,

my father owns this restaurant.

Tracy Crabcakes? I
see what's going on here.

Got the munchies, do we, ladies?

I just said that.

- What you said.
- Okay.

We will have the...

appetizer sampler,

and, three fish and chips.

The filet mignon,

the salmon Bordelaise,

three Caesar salads,

two blackout chocolate cakes.

Hey, hey, why don't you go
ahead and throw in a baked potato?

All right, I'll be back
with some bread.

Can we get extra bread?

You haven't even
gotten the main bread yet.

Just bring us the bread, Paul.

Fine.

Wow, you guys
played that very cool.

Okay, thank you all

for meeting on
such short notice.

As you know, I was pretty
bummed out about my siggy swich

being ruthlessly
removed from the menu

due to it being my
legacy and all that.

I mean, I thought our grandkids
would order it in the future

on their mind chips or whatever.

Aw, that's sweet. Now I'm
sad about the sandwich, too.

Good, because I have a plan to
get my soaked sandwich back down

the throats of hardworking
Lone Moosers everywhere.

- Yuck.
- All we need to do is just flood The Hoagie Pony

with orders for the Wet Wolf.

Once they see how
much demand there is,

they'll have to start
supplying it again.

Thanks for calling
The Hoagie Pony.

How can I sandwich you today?

I'd like to order a Wet Wolf.

Hi, Beef.

This is not Beef Tobin.

This is Jennifer
Aniston, from Friends.

Excuse me, sorry, this
is now the president.

I-I'm with Jennifer. And Phoebe.

And we need to get
our hands on a Wet Wolf.

My God, we have caller
ID. I know it's not the president.

Okay, Lydia, sorry, yes,

that was Beef and Moon,
but we really do need

a lot of Wet Wolfs
because, well...

Phoebe wants them,
for her twin sister Ursula.

I'm hanging up now.

Everything
Everywhere All at Sucks.

My legacy is in
tatters. Unless...

No. Are you
having another idea?

You bet your beautiful
butt cracks I am.

- Ooh, yay!
- All right,

- four orders of fish and chips.
- Gimme, gimme, gimme.

- Two...
- That one's mine. - Hey!

My God. Golovkin.

- Wait, who's that?
- Our teacher chaperone. Crap!

Crap, that's The Man?
Time to dine and dash, girls.

Let's go, let's go, let's go.

- We gotta go. We gotta go!
- Gonna drop 'em.

Too many dishes.

Hello, sir.

Now, we do have a dress code.

I don't want to eat.

I'm just here to
get those girls.

Wonderful.
Now, if you could just

- wait right here.
- Here we go, here we go. - Judy, let's go.

- Back door. - Aah! Sorry. Coming.
- Stop right there.

- Hey, weirdos, you forgot me.
- - Aah!

You don't understand.
I'm their teacher

and I took them out of town.

I see, sir.

I am dialing 911.

Wait, no. They were...

Girls! No!

I was supposed
to get a massage.

Yeah, yeah.
it's an emergency.

All right. Beth, now that
we ate, we got to complete

this mysterious mission.

Yeah.
On to our next stop.

Just, head over
there, maybe. Can't hurt.

- Judy, turn here.
- Okay, but real quick,

should we go get Froyo?

So, the mission

is getting a tattoo?

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, that's part of it.

You gotta trust me.

'Cause of our special bond
across time or whatever.

My God. I'll get
in so much trouble.

But I have always
really wanted one.

Hey, how's it going?
You guys want tattoos?

I can do anything
except portraits, dragons,

flowers, hearts,
anchors or cursive.

Also, before we get started,

I'll need you each
to prove you're 18.

By giving me 50 bucks.

Well, that hurt way more
than I thought it would.

But now we're
tattoo twins for life.

Hell yeah. And it's so original.

I don't know anyone else

who has a dolphin
on their lower back.

Hey, hey, Kima. Judy.
Did you get tattoos?

- No! Go, go, go!
- Go, go, go! Wait, I'm the driver.

- Hey! Hey!
- Run! Run, run, run, run, run! - Okay, here we go!

Judy! Kima!

No!

So,

where do we go next?
I'm having a lot of fun,

but I don't really know
what this mission is.

Yeah. Beth, what's
this all adding up to?

Great question.

All
will become clear.

We just
gotta do more stuff first.

And it might seem like just a
bunch of random fun things,

but I promise it has, like, a
very deep meaning, okay?

Okay, you're the boss.

Lead us on.

Whoa.

Hi, guys.

We love living near your butts!

You
left the keys in here!

I've got you now.

- No getting away this time...
- Run, run! - Go! Go, go, go!

Damn it.

Stupid horoscope.

This is not, in fact, my day.

Left, left, up that hill!

Left, Judy!

Is he still behind us?

Don't look back.

Just go. Go. Go!

Ride, my bitches, ride!

I can feel the wind in my curds!

Guys, what are we doing here?

I'm going, like,
three miles an hour.

All right, the calls
were a no-go...

Too impersonal...
But when Lydia sees

how much people
dig this, we'll be back

in biz in a wet minute.

- Free Wet Wolfs!
- Hell yeah. I've never said no

to free food in
my life.

No.

Hello, ma'am.

How would you
and your child like

to munch my brother's
hopes and dreams today?

Stay away from my baby.

I called the police and my dad.

Awesome.

Tell them to bring
their appetites.

We're
at Indian Point.

Native land.

This must be where
we complete the mission.

Makes so much sense.
Ask the cheese ghost

- where we should go.
- Just,

head down that trail over there.

Down the trail!

Guys, please do not run.

I cannot chase you.

The drag on these
palazzo pants is insane.

Wow.

This place is incredible.

Beth, what's the mission?

We already did it.

What? But all we did was

play hooky from a conference
and have a bunch of fun.

Yes, we did.

We walked in the front
door of a restaurant

and sat right down and went
to a bunch of other places,

and nobody called us
names or treated us like crap.

And frankly, that
kicked total ass.

Both cheeks. Right
cheek, left cheek,

down the crack, Kima.

Whoa.

Yeah, all the stuff I fought for

is flippin' real as hell now.

Well, I'm really glad
you got to enjoy it.

I'm glad you got to enjoy it.

'Cause, honestly, y'all are
kind of Goody Two-shoes.

You need to rebel a little.

No, I think
we're pretty cool.

You probably just don't know
that 'cause you're an old ghost.

First of all, how dare you?

Secondly, you
guys were too nerdy

to know you've been massively
toasted on gummies all day.

- What?
- Yes, that girl this morning

with the cool hair... She
gave you special gummies.

Judy!

Judy, Judy! Those gummies we ate

were Mary Jane.

My God.

Everything makes
so much sense now.

The munchies, my wet
hands, our very good decision

to get dolphin tattoos
on our lower backs.

Hey, over here. Listen up.

Those gummies are wearing
off and I'm about to disappear,

- but Kima?
- Yeah?

If I'm really your idol, don't
just reproduce my speech.

That's what this little voice
from the back of your head

that sounds like
me is telling you.

Go back to that conference
and mess some crap up for me.

- Okay, nerd?
- You got it, cheese ghost.

Kima! Judy!

Okay, what in the
world is going on?

Also, how do people
wear this type of pants?

Because I have
fallen over a lot.

So you're saying a
girl from another school

- gave you the gummies?
- Yes.

And I know this
is hard to believe,

but we did not catch on

that they were not
normal gummies.

- I absolutely believe that.
- Hey.

I am sorry to say
this, but I'm afraid

today's modern marijuana edibles

are way too powerful for
nerd teens like yourselves.

90% of nerds who take
marijuana gummies die.

-Those are just
the facts, -Okay,

you can't just keep
calling us nerds.

Judy, I just spent so much
money chasing you in various Ubers

and I had to pay
your restaurant tab

and promise them we'd
bring these plates back,

so I will call you
whatever names I wish.

- Fine.
- So, are you gonna tell our parents?

Are you kidding?
I lost two students

on an out-of-town field trip

because they took
edibles and got tattoos.

This goes with me to my grave.

- Thank God.
- But you do have detention

- for the rest of high school.
- What?! - No!

You can tell your parents
you're helping me grade papers.

- Ooh, I do love to grade papers.
- Nerd.

Well, here we are at the
state house. You feeling

sober enough to do your speech?

Wait, we didn't miss it?

My God, you've only
been gone a few hours.

Wow, those gummies really
mess with your sense of time.

Like, I totally thought the
weekend was completely over.

Dry buns! No fun!

Good Lord. Now what?

- What do we want?
- Wet!

- When do we want it?
- Now!

This is a non-violent sit in.

But that can change
on a dime, sweetheart.

The people demand
you return the Wet Wolf

to its rightful place
atop the menu.

Mr. Hoagie.

Hello, Tobins. What
are we doing here, Wolf?

Well, sir, welcome back.

You look beautiful,
bald and beaming.

I need you guys to stop
bugging my daughter.

We took the sandwich off the
menu because no one ordered it.

But my family always orders it,

a-and there's a lot of us.

They never order the Wet Wolf

unless you're with them.

That can't be true.

Humid Hive? My Moist Militia?

- Sog Squad?
- Sorry,

but it is true, sweetie.

We all hate that
friggin' sandwich.

- Aw.
- But we love you.

Which is why we wait
till you're not around

to hurl the hoagies
deep into the woods.

Wolf, I only put it on the menu

'cause you ordered it every
day back in high school.

But once it was up
there, it went to your head.

Whatever do you mean?

You always came in
through the kitchen,

which is against health code,

and you expected
the sandwich for free.

Well, yeah. Do you
think the Hamburglar

pays for Big Macs?

Wolf, I'm sorry. We can't put

your very awful sandwich
back on the menu.

Okay, guys.
Let's, pack it in.

Guess I'll just go
back to being a nobody

with nothing named
after me except myself.

Hold on.

How about I name
the water station

"Wolf's water station"?

Wow, that's what
the sign will say?

Sign? No, it'll just
be the water station

we already have as is.

But you'll always
know it's yours.

- That seems like nothing. We...
- Love it!

Water is way more
important than food.

I can't wait until
our grandchildren

see this projected on
their bionic ice creams.

Okay, Humid Hive,
let's head around back

so we can walk in
through the kitchen

and get our free glasses
of Wolf's wet water.

No. Wolf, no
walking through the...

All right, they're going.

And here to recreate

Elizabeth Peratrovich's
famous speech,

two students who have
definitely been here all day

and did not have any marijuana.

And marijuana is bad.

Actually, it's just
gonna be Kima.

Okay, just Kima, who is sober.

Thanks, Mr. Golovkin.

Okay, look,

I was just gonna
recreate a speech today,

but something... maybe it was
a container of cottage cheese,

doesn't really matter
how I got the message...

Told me that
Elizabeth Peratrovich

would want me to cause
a little bit of trouble instead.

So, here it goes.

Let's start by talking about
Senator Bonnie Bunch-legg.

Or as us natives call
her, Bonnie Bitch-Legg.

Get her, Kima!

God, I wish I had
some blood to throw.

And then we got kicked out

and Golovkin took us

straight to the airport and
we had to fly home right away.

So guess what? Suck it, Alanis!

We are nerds no more.

Okay, Judy, but you do realize

marijuana is harmful
for teens, right?

And I'm not just saying
that because we have

a standards and
practices department

up here in the sky that
requires me to do so.

Okay, Alanis.

You're still
super blazed, right now?

Must be.

You want some fries?

God!
There's a fry in my eye.

I'm blind!
no, wait, no, I'm fine.

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