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Now, Colonel, I've been on a good many
army posts and these waves of gambling
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among the enlisted men come and go.
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Well, it comes here when a certain
sergeant named Bilko is about to go on a
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00:00:28,200 --> 00:00:29,580
furlough and needs money.
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00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,320
Well, there's bound to be a certain
amount of gambling. A certain amount,
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But here they bet on everything now.
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On whether it's going to rain or not. On
what I'm going to have for breakfast.
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I can't even eat. I look at an egg and I
see Bilko collecting money from someone
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who had me down for pancakes.
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00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:49,980
Send in Corporal Barbella.
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00:00:50,580 --> 00:00:53,860
He's one of Bilko's henchmen who got
careless. I'm cracking down.
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00:00:54,900 --> 00:00:56,340
Corporal Barbella reporting, sir.
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Corporal, I realize that you're just a
tool in the hands of a mastermind.
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Sergeant Bilko had nothing to do with
this. I didn't mention any names.
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I suppose you know why you're here,
Corporal. Yes, sir. I was caught
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00:01:08,620 --> 00:01:09,860
craps after lights out.
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Shooting craps after lights out?
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Bilko invention.
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Luminous dice.
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Corporal, I want you to take word back
to Bilko's Barracks, otherwise known as
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Little Las Vegas.
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But I'm getting fed up and I'm cracking
down.
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Yes, sir.
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Good heavens, what was that? Oh, a
single -core carrier pigeon.
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Thank heavens for them.
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It's the only thing that I've been able
to get the men interested in that's
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worthwhile. They fly them to Camp
Crofter and back. Oh, excellent,
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Very relaxing, sir.
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You'll have 15 days to relax.
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15 days, sir?
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I'm restricting you to post for 15 days.
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Yes, sir.
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Well, Captain, I suppose you have the
general idea of what our problem is.
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Yes, the general idea and somehow how to
solve it.
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00:02:00,180 --> 00:02:01,500
You can stop this gambling?
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00:02:01,860 --> 00:02:02,980
Let's face it, Colonel.
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This is a service installation and it
just hasn't any recreational facilities.
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00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:11,680
There's not even a morale officer on the
post.
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00:02:12,260 --> 00:02:13,260
We had one.
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He came down with melancholia.
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00:02:19,390 --> 00:02:24,170
Well, Colonel, it's up to the officers
to see that the men get interested in
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something else, something more cultural
like music and poetry.
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Captain, you're new at Fort Baxter. My
men are not interested in that. Now, I
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know, I know, but fortunately my wife,
Gloria, and I have had quite a good deal
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of experience in this kind of work.
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All right, I'll call an emergency
meeting of several officers and their
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my quarters this evening. Fine, fine.
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00:02:45,460 --> 00:02:46,800
Send in Lieutenant Anderson.
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00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:51,780
Oh, and having a enlisted man there to
get the men's point of view is
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Somebody good at promoting post
activities.
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00:02:54,940 --> 00:02:57,060
Captain, I'll give you the biggest
promoter in the army.
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Lieutenant, see that this message gets
to Sergeant Bilko immediately.
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But, sir, this is their study period.
Interrupt them. This is important.
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00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:06,640
Yes, sir.
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Study period.
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00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:11,360
Under the G, 56.
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Under the B, 12.
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Under the B, 12.
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00:03:16,340 --> 00:03:18,140
Hold it. All right, what is it now?
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00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:19,440
I need more corn.
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00:03:19,540 --> 00:03:20,540
Give her more corn.
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00:03:21,340 --> 00:03:23,860
Doberman, do you come here to eat or to
play bingo? Look alive.
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Under the O, 70.
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Under the U, 70. Hold it, brass coming.
Brass coming. All right,
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00:03:30,780 --> 00:03:34,360
here it is, men. A very important
detail. Perimeter 3, 37.
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Longitude 36, latitude 43.
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00:03:39,690 --> 00:03:41,550
Lieutenant, how are you, sir? Sergeant
Bilko.
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Message from Colonel Hall. Thank you,
sir. I'm just putting the men through a
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00:03:44,910 --> 00:03:46,390
little map drill, you see. Go right
ahead.
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00:03:46,950 --> 00:03:48,670
Perimeter 6, 14.
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00:03:49,910 --> 00:03:51,510
I've never seen such small mounts.
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00:03:51,750 --> 00:03:55,490
Oh, I had them made especially. It
sharpens their vision, sir. Keeps them
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ball. You understand.
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00:03:57,470 --> 00:03:58,930
Perimeter 3, 84.
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Bingo!
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What was what, sir?
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Somebody said bingo. No, sir, that was
Private Doberman. He yelled, Bilko, he's
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full of questions. Oh, he really wants
to learn. I'll help him a little later.
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Thank you, sir. That's all. Thank you.
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00:04:14,510 --> 00:04:16,190
Perimeter 384.
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00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:18,250
All clear.
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00:04:18,529 --> 00:04:19,529
Cards over.
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Under the N30.
84
00:04:21,709 --> 00:04:23,050
Under the N30.
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00:04:24,090 --> 00:04:27,110
Hold it. Under the B2. Under the B2.
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00:04:27,430 --> 00:04:31,210
Hey, Bilko, I just got this on the
radio. The pigeons landed at Camp Crop.
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00:04:31,870 --> 00:04:32,870
All right.
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Take it easy.
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00:04:35,180 --> 00:04:36,360
Pigeons left, 0900.
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00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:38,020
Arrived, 0917.
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00:04:38,380 --> 00:04:44,120
And the winner, Little Blue Wing, paying
660 to win, 330 to place, 2 ,000. I got
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00:04:44,120 --> 00:04:45,120
it.
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00:04:45,420 --> 00:04:49,120
Second, Speedy Sal, 220, 210. 220,
that's me.
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00:04:49,340 --> 00:04:53,680
And for third, Hurry Up Harry, paying
360 to show. I got it. All right, fans,
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stand by for the Daily Double.
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All right, police the area.
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00:04:58,180 --> 00:05:01,700
Okay, come on, Doberman, help me with
this. Hi, Ernie. Hey, there's Rocco.
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00:05:01,780 --> 00:05:02,780
Rocco.
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00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:04,240
All right, quiet, quiet.
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00:05:05,660 --> 00:05:06,780
Restricted you to the quarters, huh?
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He gave me exactly... Call it.
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00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:14,060
All right, now, all you men, all you men
who are in the how many days we'll call
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00:05:14,060 --> 00:05:16,940
for Barbella restricted pool, get ready
with your slips.
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00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:21,740
All right, what was your lucky number? I
got 15 days.
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00:05:21,980 --> 00:05:23,920
15 is the lucky number. 15, I don't
know.
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00:05:30,919 --> 00:05:33,160
What's going on here? On the double
formation.
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May I remind you men that you are still
in the United States
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Army. What is this goofing off and
wandering around? We got work to do. And
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so much time to do it. On the ball.
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We've got a busy schedule.
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Now pay attention.
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00:05:50,340 --> 00:05:52,960
The finals in the gin rummy round robin
start at two.
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00:05:54,540 --> 00:05:57,840
At three there will be a meeting of the
jacks or better literary circle.
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00:05:58,820 --> 00:06:02,760
All bets on what color Lieutenant
Duber's wife's hair will be this week
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00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:03,760
in by five o 'clock.
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00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:06,960
Corporal Barbella will be outside of the
post beauty shop and rush us the
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00:06:06,960 --> 00:06:10,940
results. The canasta tournament starts
at seven sharp right after the bed
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00:06:10,940 --> 00:06:13,100
contest. And some of the foods march.
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00:06:13,380 --> 00:06:14,620
All right, watch with the military.
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Take it easy.
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And Captain Wells.
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Mrs. Whitney and Captain Whitney.
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How are you doing, Captain?
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00:06:23,950 --> 00:06:27,650
And now that we've all met the newest
members of our post family, Captain
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00:06:27,650 --> 00:06:32,570
Whitney and his lovely wife, shall I
call the meeting to order?
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00:06:32,850 --> 00:06:37,430
Well, I think we'd better wait for
Bilko. Oh, yes, I guess so. We can't
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00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:41,930
well discuss gambling on the post
without Sergeant Bilko present. It's
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having a cabinet meeting without the
president.
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00:06:45,790 --> 00:06:50,250
Really, John, Sergeant Bilko is as sweet
as most consistent. Young man. All
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right, Nell. He's just misunderstood.
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But, Nell, let me tell you, if you...
Come in.
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Colonel Hall.
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00:06:58,190 --> 00:07:01,370
Sorry I'm late, sir. I was going over
your orders of the day with my men. I
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00:07:01,370 --> 00:07:04,050
became so absorbed in them, I lost track
of the time, sir.
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00:07:04,450 --> 00:07:05,450
I'm sure.
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Welcome, Sergeant Bilko.
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Thank you, miss.
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Colonel, you didn't tell me your
daughter was visiting you for the
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It's Mrs. Hall.
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00:07:16,410 --> 00:07:18,730
Excuse me. If you keep getting any
younger...
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If you get any younger, we're going to
lose you to a rookie.
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All right, Bill Canole, let's get to
work.
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Hi. Oh, there you are. Oh, you make a
sofa a throne.
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That's what I call this meeting. Well,
Mrs.
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Doober, whatever have you done to your
hair? It's enchanting. You're lovely.
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What color is that?
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It's two -tone.
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All bets are off.
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Oh, I'm sorry. We just... Bill Canole.
Excuse me.
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00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:48,540
When are you going to get one of those
Italian boy cuts and drive the post out
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of its mind?
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00:07:49,420 --> 00:07:54,020
Oh, I... But you are devastatingly...
Bilko, please. I'm sorry, sir. I was
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so carried away that... Excuse me, I
don't believe we've met. Oh, Mrs.
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this is Sergeant Bilko. Oh, how do you
do? Well, bisous vous, très charmant.
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00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:04,160
Oh, mais pas jolie. Oh, it is charming.
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00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:08,920
Oh, they are lovely. I'm sorry I just
carried away when there's so much beauty
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one forgets.
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00:08:11,180 --> 00:08:15,420
Oh, you girls won't give us batches a
chance, will you? You're lovely, you
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00:08:15,420 --> 00:08:16,440
savages, you.
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00:08:16,660 --> 00:08:17,660
Sorry,
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00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:23,480
sir. I call this meeting at the request
of Captain Whitney.
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He thinks that we'll be able to stop
this hysterical wave of gambling that's
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gripping our post.
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A wave of gambling, I may add.
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that is spearheaded by one mastermind.
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00:08:37,429 --> 00:08:39,150
Well, who is this mastermind?
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00:08:39,669 --> 00:08:41,169
Oh, excuse me, please, Colonel.
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00:08:41,490 --> 00:08:42,909
Would you mind saying that again?
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What? I mean what you just said.
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Well, who is this mastermind?
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Don't tell me. I know.
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00:08:48,190 --> 00:08:51,530
The Broadway stage. Am I right? I beg
your pardon? You must have been on the
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stage. Only one of the stage can speak
with such authority, such clarity of
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tone. All right, Pilto. Oh, excuse me.
This is important.
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00:08:57,810 --> 00:08:59,870
The dramatic love. She's perfect for
Camille.
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00:09:00,110 --> 00:09:01,390
Camille! She's beautiful.
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00:09:01,850 --> 00:09:03,250
Camille! Ladies, please!
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I know her.
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00:09:07,540 --> 00:09:10,580
Vilco! I'm sorry, sir. I've seen you.
I've seen you.
180
00:09:12,060 --> 00:09:14,040
Captain Whitney!
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00:09:15,420 --> 00:09:16,460
Will you take over?
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00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:21,480
Glad to have you aboard, Captain.
183
00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:26,740
Oh, Colonel, you do surround yourself
with splendid men. You certainly do.
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00:09:31,580 --> 00:09:33,060
I have found it.
185
00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:36,580
Men gamble as a substitute for other
forms of recreation.
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00:09:37,100 --> 00:09:40,800
So just give them something constructive
to do, like handicraft.
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00:09:41,180 --> 00:09:42,180
Now!
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00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:44,720
Colonel,
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00:09:45,900 --> 00:09:48,380
have you a woodworking shop on the post?
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00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:51,980
We had one. The men worked like beavers
for one week.
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00:09:52,220 --> 00:09:53,400
Really? What did they build?
192
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:54,760
A crap table.
193
00:09:56,430 --> 00:10:00,530
Yes, I was never so shocked in my entire
life. And in whose barracks did we
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00:10:00,530 --> 00:10:04,910
discover it? Oh, my, what a lovely anti
-commissar. Oh, isn't it lovely?
195
00:10:05,650 --> 00:10:09,570
Don't shock me again. You didn't make
this yourself. Oh, don't be angry.
196
00:10:10,170 --> 00:10:13,690
It's just me. It's a dream come true.
Dream come true.
197
00:10:14,990 --> 00:10:15,990
Dream come true.
198
00:10:16,930 --> 00:10:17,970
Dream come true.
199
00:10:22,860 --> 00:10:28,580
My wife and I formed a successful
project in, remember Camp Collins,
200
00:10:28,860 --> 00:10:29,920
Oh, yes, folk dancing.
201
00:10:30,260 --> 00:10:31,620
The men loved it.
202
00:10:31,900 --> 00:10:32,900
We tried that.
203
00:10:33,140 --> 00:10:35,380
Mrs. Duber, tell them what happened.
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00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:39,940
Somebody brought in hostesses and began
charging ten cents a dance.
205
00:10:41,420 --> 00:10:44,880
Won't you try some of Mrs. Hall's icebox
cookies? You'll find it lovely.
206
00:10:45,240 --> 00:10:46,240
Oh,
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00:10:46,540 --> 00:10:48,900
what you can do with two eggs is
amazing.
208
00:10:51,569 --> 00:10:52,569
Ladies,
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00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:59,530
please! Bilko! This is a meeting.
210
00:10:59,790 --> 00:11:00,790
I'm sorry, sir.
211
00:11:01,990 --> 00:11:06,970
Instead of talking about recipes, tell
them about that bird watchers club we
212
00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:07,970
formed for you men.
213
00:11:08,070 --> 00:11:10,390
Oh, yes, it was the most exhilarating
experience.
214
00:11:10,730 --> 00:11:12,030
And very strange, too.
215
00:11:12,250 --> 00:11:15,030
When anyone saw bobble ink, money
changed hands.
216
00:11:16,110 --> 00:11:17,450
Bobble ink was three to one.
217
00:11:18,210 --> 00:11:20,850
I mean, we were raising money to get a
bird back.
218
00:11:21,310 --> 00:11:24,190
You see, the last thing we want on this
post are dirty birds.
219
00:11:25,990 --> 00:11:27,770
Do you see how hopeless it is?
220
00:11:28,380 --> 00:11:34,080
Oh, please. Colonel, Gloria and I face
tougher problems than this.
221
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:35,360
Remember, dear?
222
00:11:35,860 --> 00:11:36,920
Poor Green Star.
223
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,600
Tell us about it, Mrs. Whitney.
224
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:42,440
Oh, yes, do tell us about it. Oh, you
must be one.
225
00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:46,560
We want to hear you speak. It'll be so
enchanting. Won't you please?
226
00:11:46,760 --> 00:11:48,860
Oh, Captain, you are a lucky man.
227
00:11:49,140 --> 00:11:53,120
Oh, I know where I saw her. The movies.
I saw you in the movies. I know it.
228
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,840
Gloria. Yes.
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00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:02,160
To begin with, you see, what happened
was this.
230
00:12:02,620 --> 00:12:07,080
Ted simply just couldn't seem to get
anywhere with any projects. The men just
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00:12:07,080 --> 00:12:11,000
weren't interested. And then I
remembered a lecture I gave back in
232
00:12:11,220 --> 00:12:12,220
Sarah Lawrence.
233
00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:15,060
That's where I saw you. It's a girls'
school.
234
00:12:16,100 --> 00:12:21,780
Well, anyway, so I made up this
wonderful lecture, and it was all about
235
00:12:21,780 --> 00:12:23,920
Beethoven, his life in music.
236
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,680
Oh, Gloria, don't be modest. It was a
smashing success.
237
00:12:27,980 --> 00:12:32,480
Oh, it sounds enchanting, doesn't it,
Colonel Beethoven? I've given it 17
238
00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:37,620
since. Wherever Ted stations, sooner or
later they ask for it. Sir, it can't
239
00:12:37,620 --> 00:12:39,960
miss. Well, I don't know.
240
00:12:40,720 --> 00:12:44,200
Well, we could schedule it in the
recreation hall for Saturday night.
241
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:48,360
Yes, we could start the evening with a
string quartet playing some of the more
242
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:53,600
popular music like Bartok and
Stravinsky, and then Gloria takes the
243
00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:54,680
Ted.
244
00:12:55,020 --> 00:12:58,300
Well, we'll have to see if the men will
go for it.
245
00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:00,640
What do you think, Sergeant Bill?
246
00:13:01,660 --> 00:13:05,040
Bilko! Oh, yes, yes, it's a smash. You
can't miss, sir. It's wonderful.
247
00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:09,480
Srebinski, Beethoven, oh, it'll be
glorious. And to my dying day, I must
248
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:13,140
that I won't be there to see it, you
see. I'll be away on my furlough. I am
249
00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:14,140
afraid not.
250
00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:15,800
Not, sir?
251
00:13:16,340 --> 00:13:20,940
Bilko, you're responsible for the
gambling on this post, so I'm going to
252
00:13:20,940 --> 00:13:26,800
you responsible to see that that house
Saturday night is going to be full, that
253
00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:28,080
every seat is going to be filled.
254
00:13:28,570 --> 00:13:32,350
Bill, sir, with Beethoven and
Stravinsky, get the men in on a night
255
00:13:32,350 --> 00:13:33,350
Quiet!
256
00:13:33,470 --> 00:13:37,190
You will get the tickets, and you will
see that we have a full and responsive
257
00:13:37,190 --> 00:13:38,190
audience.
258
00:13:38,710 --> 00:13:42,550
But, sir, my furlough, it's all
arranged. Otherwise, you will not go on
259
00:13:42,550 --> 00:13:45,530
furlough. But the things are all
arranged in New York. The tickets for
260
00:13:45,530 --> 00:13:46,790
planetarium, the museum.
261
00:13:47,310 --> 00:13:51,230
And all the gifts I'm bringing back to
Bill. No, no!
262
00:13:53,290 --> 00:13:54,490
A full house.
263
00:13:54,870 --> 00:13:55,870
Yes, sir.
264
00:13:56,110 --> 00:13:59,640
And... Now that the meeting is over,
anybody for bridge?
265
00:14:00,060 --> 00:14:01,060
Splendid idea.
266
00:14:01,620 --> 00:14:05,060
I'm afraid not, Mrs. Hall. After all, it
is a form of gambling.
267
00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:06,820
And I'll say good night.
268
00:14:10,860 --> 00:14:17,700
John, if you just let Sergeant Bilko go
on his furlough... Now, please, get the
269
00:14:17,700 --> 00:14:18,700
bridge tables.
270
00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:28,519
to tell you guys.
271
00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,520
I promise not to tell.
272
00:14:31,740 --> 00:14:33,760
Good morning, men.
273
00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:36,160
Good morning, Sergeant Bilko.
274
00:14:38,020 --> 00:14:42,800
When I think of how I rack my brain to
think of little things for you guys.
275
00:14:43,020 --> 00:14:44,880
Man, I got some tickets here. Freeze.
276
00:14:45,620 --> 00:14:47,060
Freeze, you commandos.
277
00:14:47,580 --> 00:14:50,740
This is the way you react, huh? When I'm
trying, well, if you want to know
278
00:14:50,740 --> 00:14:52,640
something, wise guys, these tickets are
free.
279
00:14:53,420 --> 00:14:55,620
And that's a word I don't use so often.
280
00:14:56,080 --> 00:15:03,060
I don't want this to get around the
post. I'll be swamped for tickets.
281
00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:07,740
Men, this Saturday night, one night
only, in person, you're going to see the
282
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,220
hottest little springboarder you ever
saw.
283
00:15:10,860 --> 00:15:14,200
Hottest little what? You're not kidding
when you said hottest little what, boy.
284
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:18,800
And just the way you've always dreamed
of them. Fudge, I'll take a ticket. What
285
00:15:18,800 --> 00:15:22,480
are we going to see, Sarge? You're going
to see one of the greatest movement
286
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:23,720
quartets you ever saw.
287
00:15:23,940 --> 00:15:24,940
What did he say?
288
00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:27,260
I think he said string quartet.
289
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:29,100
String quartet?
290
00:15:30,520 --> 00:15:34,460
See, you're having fun already. Hey,
well, wait a minute. It is a string
291
00:15:34,460 --> 00:15:35,460
quartet.
292
00:15:35,820 --> 00:15:37,440
Stravinsky. How about that, huh?
293
00:15:37,820 --> 00:15:38,820
What is this Stravinsky?
294
00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:41,380
Jerk, that's Minsky. He went back to his
old name.
295
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:46,360
Boys, this is a... How this ever got
past the post -censor, I'll never
296
00:15:46,360 --> 00:15:49,500
understand. Some heads are going to roll
around here when they see this.
297
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:52,120
Hot stuff, M. Bilko.
298
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:55,640
Mrs. Gloria Whitney will present her
lecture on Beethoven.
299
00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:57,800
Yeah. A lecture on Beethoven?
300
00:15:58,100 --> 00:16:00,080
I'd rather take shots. Come here. Come
here.
301
00:16:00,340 --> 00:16:04,460
Of course it says lecture. They've got
to say lecture.
302
00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:06,830
What it really is, is an expose.
303
00:16:07,730 --> 00:16:08,730
Expose.
304
00:16:08,890 --> 00:16:09,890
Expose.
305
00:16:10,110 --> 00:16:13,250
Listen, do I have to tell you, you heard
stories about the musicians in those
306
00:16:13,250 --> 00:16:15,350
days? This Beethoven, whoo!
307
00:16:15,750 --> 00:16:17,730
Hot Lips Beatty, they used to call him.
308
00:16:18,570 --> 00:16:21,630
Boy, his private life story. There was
one thing about him.
309
00:16:21,950 --> 00:16:26,430
In Heidelberg, there's a story, in the
middle of a cantab, he was caught.
310
00:16:26,950 --> 00:16:28,570
I blush when I think of him.
311
00:16:29,570 --> 00:16:32,370
Are you kidding? This is nothing but
long hair music.
312
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:34,320
Just for that, you can't go.
313
00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:36,700
Always suspicious.
314
00:16:36,740 --> 00:16:38,760
If he gave him a dollar bill, he'd want
to know, why is it green?
315
00:16:39,380 --> 00:16:41,400
Beethoven. Stravinsky. Is he kidding?
316
00:16:41,740 --> 00:16:45,280
Now, look, man, this is one big night
with that long hair. What do you tell
317
00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:47,720
lover? Serge, I'd like to go.
318
00:17:08,170 --> 00:17:12,690
Number six. All seven. Here, here. This
one's on me. I wonder what... Hey, look
319
00:17:12,690 --> 00:17:13,710
what they just got in.
320
00:17:13,910 --> 00:17:16,349
I've been waiting for this for months.
Is it real, Garland?
321
00:17:17,089 --> 00:17:19,910
Garland, it's so... It's the latest
thing at the Birdland. Wait till you dig
322
00:17:19,910 --> 00:17:20,910
this.
323
00:17:22,230 --> 00:17:23,230
What do you have?
324
00:17:23,390 --> 00:17:24,390
Wow.
325
00:17:26,270 --> 00:17:31,290
He really had a beat, man.
326
00:17:32,670 --> 00:17:33,629
What's that?
327
00:17:33,630 --> 00:17:36,030
Where can you hear music like that these
days?
328
00:17:40,940 --> 00:17:43,560
You'll love it. If you come to the rec
hall, you'll have a... Now, fellas,
329
00:17:43,700 --> 00:17:46,060
remember. Now, give me a break. New
York, Seymour, Lamar.
330
00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:48,080
Anything but a lecture.
331
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,280
There must be somebody that goes for
Beethoven.
332
00:17:51,500 --> 00:17:52,500
How about Mrs. Beethoven?
333
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:53,960
Oh, stop with the jokes.
334
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:56,420
I got things to work out around here.
335
00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:58,540
Hey, Bilko, how about a game of cards?
336
00:17:58,820 --> 00:17:59,820
Cards?
337
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:04,000
Gambling? When there's a fine thing like
a lecture, men, you're all invited.
338
00:18:04,740 --> 00:18:05,740
Mrs. Whitney.
339
00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:07,040
No, thanks.
340
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:08,420
Mrs. Whitney.
341
00:18:08,740 --> 00:18:09,740
No kidding.
342
00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:11,560
So the twitch is on the post.
343
00:18:11,860 --> 00:18:16,000
The twitch? Yeah. I caught a lecture up
at Fort Bender. Boy, did she twitch.
344
00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:17,480
Like this.
345
00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:20,880
Ludwig von Beethoven twitched.
346
00:18:21,580 --> 00:18:25,800
Oh, sure, I remember. I saw her give
that lecture in Manila. She must have
347
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,400
tugged at a girdle 15 times.
348
00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:28,760
15 times.
349
00:18:29,340 --> 00:18:30,440
You boys must have been asleep.
350
00:18:30,720 --> 00:18:35,080
We took count up at Fort Bender. For
Beethoven, it's always the same. 20
351
00:18:35,080 --> 00:18:39,440
twitches. You're crazy. I seen that
lecture five times. She never twitched
352
00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:44,020
than 15. Don't tell me it's 20 twitches.
Grover, you were in Manila. Did she
353
00:18:44,020 --> 00:18:45,520
ever twitch more than 15 times?
354
00:18:45,780 --> 00:18:48,440
Andy is right. 15 twitches is a limit.
355
00:18:48,660 --> 00:18:49,980
It's 20 every time.
356
00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:53,180
Are you guys talking about the twitch?
Yeah. What's your number? I seen her up
357
00:18:53,180 --> 00:18:54,820
at Fort Hamlet. She went 22.
358
00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:56,240
But it was a hot night.
359
00:18:56,520 --> 00:18:57,620
You're right. You're right.
360
00:18:58,600 --> 00:19:00,420
He never twitched more than 15.
361
00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:01,680
15?
362
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:06,300
50? She twitches more than that before
she even gets up to talk. I was there. I
363
00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:07,299
was there.
364
00:19:07,300 --> 00:19:08,300
Wait,
365
00:19:08,820 --> 00:19:12,260
wait, wait. Hold it. You want to bet
him? Bet him $20. Yeah. I'll take that.
366
00:19:12,520 --> 00:19:14,300
You want to bet on that?
367
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:18,660
$20? You want to raise that? Yeah, I'll
bet.
368
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:20,200
Wait,
369
00:19:21,020 --> 00:19:22,540
wait, wait. Why don't we do it right?
370
00:19:22,740 --> 00:19:23,740
Let's have a pool.
371
00:19:23,820 --> 00:19:24,840
A pool. All right.
372
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:31,320
Wait a minute. Now, one thing you're
aware of. I'll be the only guy at the
373
00:19:31,320 --> 00:19:35,240
lecture. You take my word for it, don't
you? Oh, that will be the day. Give me
374
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:38,120
30 tickets. Give me 25.
375
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:43,580
Hey, Sarge, you got any more tickets?
376
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:44,900
Oh, you must be kidding.
377
00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:48,680
Oh, a friend of mine's coming up from
Chicago. He's dying to see the Twigs.
378
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:51,840
you kidding? There was a guy from
company that got sick, went to the
379
00:19:51,860 --> 00:19:53,880
sold his ticket for 12 bucks. Hold
everything.
380
00:19:54,480 --> 00:19:57,560
30 bucks more on 15 twitches. My whole
platoon shifted.
381
00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:01,300
You got too much money on 15? Hey, this
is getting hot. I just got a radiograph
382
00:20:01,300 --> 00:20:02,300
of Tokyo.
383
00:20:02,740 --> 00:20:04,680
$40 on 14 twitches.
384
00:20:05,140 --> 00:20:06,380
$40. You got the loot?
385
00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:10,120
Yeah. All right, did you get in touch
with Manila, get all the information?
386
00:20:10,120 --> 00:20:13,120
she broke the record with 26 twitches, I
want to get all the information I can.
387
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:15,680
Yeah, they said it was a murderously hot
night.
388
00:20:16,190 --> 00:20:17,590
Half the twitches were mosquitoes.
389
00:20:18,150 --> 00:20:21,570
Well, I want everything I can learn
about them. You know something? This is
390
00:20:21,570 --> 00:20:25,170
getting a little out of hand. But you
know, the boys in Germany in the signal
391
00:20:25,170 --> 00:20:29,270
car, they all chipped in and they want
to put a hundred bucks on 18 twitches
392
00:20:29,270 --> 00:20:30,410
they're sending it by plane.
393
00:20:30,690 --> 00:20:33,170
Have you got enough on 18? Well, you lay
out your own. All right, here. Cover
394
00:20:33,170 --> 00:20:35,390
the boys from Berlin for me. This is
getting miraculous.
395
00:20:35,850 --> 00:20:39,670
You know what happened? Four busloads
from a camp in Arizona came in. Two guys
396
00:20:39,670 --> 00:20:41,550
hitchhiked from Texas on their furlough.
397
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:46,400
This is going to be the night. I hope
Mrs. Whitney's in good form.
398
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:50,580
I hope so, too. She's got more money
riding on her than on the Kentucky
399
00:20:53,900 --> 00:20:58,020
Give him a minute. Give him a minute.
Take your hats off. You guys with your
400
00:20:58,020 --> 00:20:58,959
hats off.
401
00:20:58,960 --> 00:21:00,120
Come on. Keep it moving.
402
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:04,820
Find a room. Any place in the hall.
Spread out. Spread out. Give everybody a
403
00:21:04,820 --> 00:21:05,820
chance.
404
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:10,200
Hold it. Sorry, boys. The fire laws. No
more room. Go outside. Look through the
405
00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:12,850
window. I don't understand it. They
didn't turn out like this for Marilyn
406
00:21:12,850 --> 00:21:16,530
Monroe. Well, I told you, Colonel.
There's a thirst for culture which
407
00:21:16,530 --> 00:21:21,770
denied. But I must admit that it's a bit
of a new high even for Gloria. Oh, no.
408
00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:24,090
Well, we'd better get started. Where's
Sergeant Bilko?
409
00:21:25,790 --> 00:21:26,790
Bilko!
410
00:21:26,990 --> 00:21:30,570
We'd better get started, sir. Yes, yes.
All right, sir. If you'll just take your
411
00:21:30,570 --> 00:21:32,250
seat. All right, men. Simmer down.
412
00:21:32,710 --> 00:21:36,150
This is it, men. This is what we've been
waiting for. And you know who we can
413
00:21:36,150 --> 00:21:38,050
thank for this great evening of
entertainment?
414
00:21:38,730 --> 00:21:42,490
Our beloved C .O., and in my book, he's
C .O. of the year.
415
00:21:42,710 --> 00:21:45,950
And I know you want to meet him and show
him how you feel about him. Here he is,
416
00:21:46,010 --> 00:21:47,590
Colonel J .T. Hall.
417
00:21:52,150 --> 00:21:53,970
How do you like this, Colonel? They're
going to love you.
418
00:21:55,030 --> 00:21:57,110
Good evening, music lovers.
419
00:22:01,490 --> 00:22:03,470
I'd like to introduce Mrs.
420
00:22:03,810 --> 00:22:04,810
Gloria Whitney.
421
00:22:05,610 --> 00:22:08,470
who will speak to us on the subject of
Beethoven.
422
00:22:09,470 --> 00:22:16,470
Thank you, thank
423
00:22:16,470 --> 00:22:17,850
you. Well, now.
424
00:22:20,370 --> 00:22:26,410
Ludwig von Beethoven was born in the
little town of Bonn, Germany, in the
425
00:22:26,410 --> 00:22:27,990
1770.
426
00:22:35,139 --> 00:22:36,900
1771, 1770.
427
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:44,420
Little did Ludwig's family realize what
the future held in store for him.
428
00:22:45,620 --> 00:22:52,400
At the age of 15, he developed
429
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:58,460
so rapidly and all sorts of things in
improvisation, including the violin and
430
00:22:58,460 --> 00:23:00,920
the piano.
431
00:23:06,220 --> 00:23:09,480
And that was the sixth tug, and she's
not even breathing hard.
432
00:23:09,700 --> 00:23:14,360
You boys in Manila would be proud of
her. And to all of you camps who just
433
00:23:14,360 --> 00:23:18,020
joined the network, she started out free
and easy.
434
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:22,320
Whoops, there goes tug number seven.
435
00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:26,920
Well, this gal is really doing it free
and easy, and she's wonderful.
436
00:23:28,060 --> 00:23:30,300
Came back to all points off the air.
437
00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:35,620
All the gears.
438
00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:46,100
Ludwig von Beethoven had really left
behind him a musical heritage that
439
00:23:46,100 --> 00:23:50,860
will always be remembered by music
lovers the world over.
440
00:24:03,469 --> 00:24:05,850
magnificent, Mrs. Whitney. I cried like
a baby.
441
00:24:06,770 --> 00:24:08,330
Won't you give the boy some autographs?
442
00:24:09,770 --> 00:24:10,850
Wasn't it great, Colonel?
443
00:24:11,070 --> 00:24:12,810
Be in my office first thing in the
morning.
444
00:24:13,050 --> 00:24:14,050
Yes, sir.
445
00:24:14,210 --> 00:24:17,070
Shame. But, Colonel, you wanted a full
house.
446
00:24:17,330 --> 00:24:20,150
We got this thing up so as to stop
gambling.
447
00:24:20,810 --> 00:24:23,150
And we didn't want to start another
Belmont Park.
448
00:24:24,390 --> 00:24:27,130
Bilko, you should be ashamed of yourself
betting on a thing like that.
449
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:31,560
If you expect to get a furlough, you
better forget it. Oh, sir, I forgot
450
00:24:31,560 --> 00:24:32,720
the furlough. This is too big.
451
00:24:32,920 --> 00:24:34,960
Oh, I'm going to follow this up.
Lieutenant Wigman.
452
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:36,079
Your what?
453
00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:39,000
Lieutenant Wigman is going to lecture
next week on modern painting. I think
454
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,800
subject is the passion of Picasso.
455
00:24:41,500 --> 00:24:44,000
Bilko, are you kidding me?
456
00:24:44,460 --> 00:24:47,880
Kidding? No, sir. You think this is a
full house? Well, you see, next week I'm
457
00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:49,520
going to have the tickets printed now.
Excuse me, sir.
458
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:52,380
Lieutenant. Lieutenant Wigman.
459
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:53,579
Yes, sir.
460
00:24:53,580 --> 00:24:56,720
Did you tell Bilko that you were going
to make a lecture next week?
461
00:24:57,130 --> 00:25:00,090
Oh, yes, sir. And he assured me that the
men will love it.
462
00:25:01,010 --> 00:25:07,950
As you see, sir... I have an idea that
there are certain periods in
463
00:25:07,950 --> 00:25:13,250
the life of Picasso... Excuse me! Excuse
me!
464
00:25:13,450 --> 00:25:14,450
Mrs.
465
00:25:21,510 --> 00:25:23,090
Whitney was played by Charlotte Ray.
466
00:25:23,290 --> 00:25:25,370
Mrs. Paul by Hope Sandsbury.
38671
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