All language subtitles for Yes Dear s04e04 Speed Dating

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,060 --> 00:00:04,860 Hey, Jimmy, you ready? Hey, Billy, man, you look good. Yeah, Billy, is that a 2 00:00:04,860 --> 00:00:05,399 new shirt? 3 00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:07,180 Yep, left the cardboard in the collar. 4 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:12,100 Keeps it nice and crisp, you know, plus it works like a neck brace because I 5 00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:13,980 think I sprained something trying to close my top button. 6 00:00:15,950 --> 00:00:16,889 What are you guys up to? 7 00:00:16,890 --> 00:00:20,350 Billy's car is in the shop, so I'm taking him down to the Ramada. He signed 8 00:00:20,350 --> 00:00:24,050 for five -minute speed dating. What's five -minute speed dating? Oh, it's this 9 00:00:24,050 --> 00:00:26,910 matchmaking thing where you spend five minutes each talking to a bunch of 10 00:00:26,910 --> 00:00:29,350 different women, and then at the end of the night, you write down the people 11 00:00:29,350 --> 00:00:30,209 that you're interested in. 12 00:00:30,210 --> 00:00:31,148 You ready to go, dude? 13 00:00:31,150 --> 00:00:33,610 Yeah, hey, thanks for driving, man. Well, now you ought to have to take the 14 00:00:33,610 --> 00:00:36,290 and the last guy that scored with the lady stepping off the bus was Keith 15 00:00:36,290 --> 00:00:37,290 Partridge. 16 00:00:39,770 --> 00:00:43,050 Speed dating, instant messaging, one -hour photo. What's the hurry? 17 00:00:43,530 --> 00:00:46,630 I mean, you ever notice that everyone is in such a rush these days? 18 00:00:46,930 --> 00:00:48,650 Hey, who woke up Andy Rooney? 19 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:23,720 What are you talking about, man? Look at all these women. 20 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:26,760 I know. That's why I'm so nervous. Look at me. I'm sweating so much, my 21 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:28,220 cardboard's getting soggy. Okay, buddy. 22 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:29,520 Okay? 23 00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:34,220 Now, you can handle this, okay? Just don't look at it as 30 dates. It's only 24 00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:37,660 five minutes with each girl. That's worse. The first five minutes of the 25 00:01:37,660 --> 00:01:38,660 the hardest part. 26 00:01:38,820 --> 00:01:41,840 Okay, think of it this way. It's also the last five minutes of each date. 27 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,700 even worse. The first five minutes of the date, they're thinking, how bad can 28 00:01:44,700 --> 00:01:45,920 be? The last five, they know. 29 00:01:47,950 --> 00:01:49,450 I just wish I didn't have to go in there alone. 30 00:01:49,690 --> 00:01:52,710 Okay, but look, you came all the way down here. What do you want me to do? 31 00:01:52,710 --> 00:01:54,530 want me to go in there with you? I'll go in there with you. 32 00:01:54,750 --> 00:01:57,830 Really? Yeah, let me just call Christine. I'll tell her I'll be late. 33 00:02:00,070 --> 00:02:01,070 Hey, Christine, it's me. 34 00:02:01,410 --> 00:02:02,410 Hey, what's up? 35 00:02:02,550 --> 00:02:06,610 Yeah, listen, Billy's kind of nervous, so I'm just going to stay. I'm going to 36 00:02:06,610 --> 00:02:08,110 do speed dating with him. What? 37 00:02:09,190 --> 00:02:11,810 I don't want you down there flirting with a bunch of women. 38 00:02:12,070 --> 00:02:14,450 Look, Christine, if I don't stay, Billy's going to leave. 39 00:02:14,900 --> 00:02:18,100 Okay, and if he doesn't find a girl, he's just going to go home and fantasize 40 00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:19,220 about one like he does every night. 41 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:20,600 Well, that's not my problem. 42 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,040 Christine, the girl is you. 43 00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:25,180 Go, go, go, go. 44 00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:28,680 All right, I'm in, man. 45 00:02:28,860 --> 00:02:29,860 Oh, thanks, Jimmy. 46 00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:32,560 Hey, maybe you can go ahead of me in the rotation. That way, if you're talking 47 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:35,820 to a girl in front of me, you can say something like, you saw me in the shower 48 00:02:35,820 --> 00:02:37,340 and it made you feel like less of a man. 49 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,380 So you want me to lie? Please. 50 00:02:43,220 --> 00:02:47,240 Well, uh... Originally, I'm from Baltimore. That's halfway between 51 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:48,240 .C. and Philadelphia. 52 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:50,260 Actually, it's closer to D .C. 53 00:02:50,580 --> 00:02:52,060 It's about 40 miles from D .C. 54 00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:53,660 It's about 80 miles from Philadelphia. 55 00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:54,900 I don't know why I said halfway. 56 00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:57,600 Philadelphia is actually in another state. 57 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,920 So is Washington, D .C. Actually, Washington, D .C. isn't a state, it's a 58 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:02,920 district. 59 00:03:04,460 --> 00:03:06,960 Oh, geez, you didn't even get a chance to talk. Quick, say something. 60 00:03:07,340 --> 00:03:08,340 Goodbye. 61 00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:14,580 I'm Kelly. Hi, Kelly. I'm Billy. 62 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:20,980 Hey, our names almost rhyme. Well, if you were Killy and I was Belly, that 63 00:03:20,980 --> 00:03:22,840 be stupid because there really aren't such names. 64 00:03:29,580 --> 00:03:30,580 Ding! 65 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:33,900 Hey, this is fun, isn't it? 66 00:03:34,420 --> 00:03:35,520 A little nerve -wracking. 67 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:36,840 Aren't you nervous? 68 00:03:37,220 --> 00:03:39,680 Yeah, what does it matter? You like me or don't like me. What's the difference? 69 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:43,120 You're amazing. 70 00:03:43,380 --> 00:03:46,520 I mean, half the guys in here are nervous, spouting out these lies to 71 00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:49,300 me. Well, you know what? I am who I am, sweetheart. 72 00:03:49,540 --> 00:03:54,420 You know? I work as a security guard, I drive a beat -up old car, and I spend my 73 00:03:54,420 --> 00:03:56,920 weekends drinking beer and listening to my old Whitesnake albums. 74 00:03:57,300 --> 00:04:00,260 Oh, my God, Whitesnake? Yeah. I love Whitesnake. 75 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:04,460 It was really great meeting you. Hey, it was nice meeting you. 76 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:08,320 Here I go again on my own. 77 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:16,630 Going down the only road... I've ever known Like a drifter I was born to 78 00:04:16,630 --> 00:04:19,910 walk alone What's up? 79 00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:26,910 Hey, how'd it go? 80 00:04:27,170 --> 00:04:29,090 Oh, fantastic. It's the greatest invention ever. 81 00:04:31,490 --> 00:04:32,750 What, speed dating? 82 00:04:32,970 --> 00:04:35,130 No, a little bell that makes women stop talking. 83 00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:41,850 Is it okay if I use your computer? I want to check my scores. 84 00:04:42,190 --> 00:04:43,190 Sure. What scores? 85 00:04:43,470 --> 00:04:45,830 At the end of the night, you write down which people you're interested in seeing 86 00:04:45,830 --> 00:04:47,350 again, and then all the info is posted online. 87 00:04:47,790 --> 00:04:51,190 Well, that's a nice way to do it. When I was dating, I could never reject a guy 88 00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:51,869 in person. 89 00:04:51,870 --> 00:04:54,450 Yeah, as I remember, that's the only reason you had a second date with Greg. 90 00:04:55,850 --> 00:04:58,090 And when you called to let him down easy, his mother answered. 91 00:04:59,050 --> 00:05:02,930 Actually, I had a feeling she was going to do that, so that wasn't my mother, it 92 00:05:02,930 --> 00:05:03,930 was me. 93 00:05:05,810 --> 00:05:06,810 No, it wasn't. 94 00:05:07,230 --> 00:05:08,230 Hello? 95 00:05:09,390 --> 00:05:11,610 Kim, I'm sorry. Greg's cleaning in the garage. 96 00:05:14,650 --> 00:05:16,290 What? It all worked out for the best. 97 00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:19,250 Hey, so, Billy, how'd you do? 98 00:05:19,650 --> 00:05:21,390 Three. Three women voted yes. 99 00:05:21,670 --> 00:05:22,670 Out of 30? 100 00:05:22,730 --> 00:05:25,950 Well, don't take it too hard, Billy. I mean, it could have been worse. 101 00:05:26,170 --> 00:05:27,370 Are you kidding me? That's fantastic. 102 00:05:28,810 --> 00:05:31,930 The last time three women were interested in me, they were hitchhiking 103 00:05:31,930 --> 00:05:33,050 Melissa Etheridge concert. 104 00:05:34,410 --> 00:05:35,750 I got some calls to make. 105 00:05:36,030 --> 00:05:37,030 All right. Hey, you want to ride home? 106 00:05:37,350 --> 00:05:38,710 Nah. I'll walk it. 107 00:05:38,950 --> 00:05:41,870 I'll see you tomorrow, Jimmy. And, Christine, I'd say I'll see you in my 108 00:05:41,990 --> 00:05:43,410 but you've got the night off. 109 00:05:48,170 --> 00:05:50,030 Hey, Jimmy, let's check your results. 110 00:05:50,710 --> 00:05:52,710 Let's see if my man is a P -I -M -P. 111 00:05:54,110 --> 00:05:57,050 I think your husband's more like a C -H -I -M -P. 112 00:05:59,090 --> 00:06:00,430 Oh, my God, Jimmy. 113 00:06:01,390 --> 00:06:03,430 24 women want to see you again. 114 00:06:03,850 --> 00:06:04,850 He's dead. 115 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:09,200 80 %? 116 00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:10,720 Wow. 117 00:06:10,980 --> 00:06:11,980 Jimmy. 118 00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:17,060 Man, if he got 80%, just imagine what Iowa's got. Hey, don't beat yourself up, 119 00:06:17,180 --> 00:06:18,560 Greg. I'm sure you would have gotten a few. 120 00:06:18,940 --> 00:06:20,660 No, I mean I would have gotten more than you. 121 00:06:24,660 --> 00:06:28,720 Hey, Greg happens to be very appealing to women. In fact, if we weren't 122 00:06:28,820 --> 00:06:30,660 I'm sure he could get any woman he wanted. 123 00:06:32,180 --> 00:06:36,360 Stop laughing. Stop laughing. Sorry, Greg, but do you really think you would 124 00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:37,360 have done better than me? 125 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:40,740 Of course I would. Greg, you know, this is picking up women, not long divisions. 126 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:46,840 Please, I'm much more appealing than Jimmy. I've got a good job. I'm smarter. 127 00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:49,060 I don't scratch my ass with my car keys. 128 00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:53,100 Yeah, but Jimmy's cute. 129 00:06:53,460 --> 00:06:54,920 Oh, you're saying Greg's not cute? 130 00:06:55,180 --> 00:06:59,360 No, you know what? They're both cute. I mean, Jimmy's cute like a big floppy 131 00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:04,080 mutt. And Greg's more like one of those small hairless cats. 132 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:10,480 Yeah, Jim is adorable to a bunch of women who have to go to speed dating. 133 00:07:10,780 --> 00:07:13,280 Oh, what? You don't think I'm a good catch? 134 00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:16,820 No, but I'm not a lonely, desperate woman down at the Ramada Inn whose 135 00:07:16,820 --> 00:07:19,240 biological clock is down to the two -minute warning. 136 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:26,080 Okay, look, Greg, you have a great job. 137 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:31,600 You got a great car. You got this big house. And on paper, you look great. But 138 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,100 when it comes to actually picking up women, I... 139 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,760 I'm always going to do better than you. Oh, please. 140 00:07:37,340 --> 00:07:40,780 I'm serious, Greg. I think if it came down to the two of us, I would always 141 00:07:40,780 --> 00:07:42,680 the girl and you would always end up going home alone. 142 00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:49,860 Okay. You keep telling me. I don't have to. My 143 00:07:49,860 --> 00:07:50,860 numbers speak for themselves. 144 00:07:51,420 --> 00:07:52,420 Come on, Christine. 145 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:56,900 I would like to take you out back and give you what 80 % of the women I met 146 00:07:56,900 --> 00:07:58,080 tonight can only dream of. 147 00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:03,340 You are a very desirable man. 148 00:08:03,540 --> 00:08:06,040 Don't you listen to him? Listen to him? I'm not going to give it another 149 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:08,720 thought. I would like to sign up for speed dating. 150 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:11,920 Are you sure? 151 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,620 Yeah, what? You don't think women would go for me? I'm a hard -working, honest 152 00:08:16,620 --> 00:08:17,620 guy. 153 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:18,579 That's great. 154 00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:22,140 But before you tell 30 women how honest you are, you might want to take off your 155 00:08:22,140 --> 00:08:23,140 wedding ring. 156 00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:25,460 Thank you. 157 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,460 As an executive, I love having women in the workplace. 158 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:34,460 Women are analytical, they're calm in a crisis, and their maternal instincts 159 00:08:34,460 --> 00:08:36,919 make it more natural for them to multitask. 160 00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:39,720 Wow. Most guys aren't so insightful. 161 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,700 Well, actually, I read that in Cosmo. 162 00:08:42,820 --> 00:08:46,820 You read Cosmo? Not by choice. Every month I get at least one article shoved 163 00:08:46,820 --> 00:08:47,820 down my throat by my wife. 164 00:08:51,660 --> 00:08:53,140 By my white mailman. 165 00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:58,480 Yeah, on the weekends we have a white mailman. 166 00:08:59,020 --> 00:09:03,760 During the week it's usually an Asian fellow. 167 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:08,200 Oh, okay, Greg W. 168 00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:09,500 Ask for me by name. 169 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:15,060 Julie, don't worry about it. I mean, you're going to find someone. 170 00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:17,680 Remember, the altar is not a finish line. 171 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:19,700 It's more of a starting gate. 172 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:23,220 And believe you me, that's where the real work begins. 173 00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:30,150 Wow. You're so sensitive. In fact... Oh, sorry. Time's up. 174 00:09:30,590 --> 00:09:31,810 Everyone gets a turn here. 175 00:09:32,450 --> 00:09:35,050 Hey, I don't make the rules. Okay, ladies, who's next? 176 00:09:39,630 --> 00:09:42,850 Kim, we were right. I went to speed dating and the women loved me. 177 00:09:43,110 --> 00:09:44,110 What? 178 00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:46,750 You went to speed dating? 179 00:09:46,990 --> 00:09:48,970 Yes, and I was on fire down there. 180 00:09:51,170 --> 00:09:52,790 I can't believe you did this. 181 00:09:53,070 --> 00:09:54,070 What? 182 00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:58,420 cheated on me. I wasn't cheating. I mean, how much could I have done? I only 183 00:09:58,420 --> 00:09:59,760 gave each of them five minutes. 184 00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:03,180 More than I get some nights. 185 00:10:05,940 --> 00:10:07,740 Well, you shouldn't move around so much. 186 00:10:13,420 --> 00:10:16,560 I mean, when I say be still, I mean be still. 187 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:20,440 Why are you so mad? Jimmy did it. 188 00:10:20,730 --> 00:10:23,910 Jimmy was down there helping out a friend. He didn't sneak off to speed 189 00:10:23,910 --> 00:10:24,910 without telling Christine. 190 00:10:26,070 --> 00:10:28,430 In a shirt, his wife told him was sexy. 191 00:10:29,110 --> 00:10:30,110 Again, you were right. 192 00:10:31,910 --> 00:10:33,170 You went to speed dating? 193 00:10:33,370 --> 00:10:37,050 Why? To prove I could do better than you. And let me tell you something, 194 00:10:37,090 --> 00:10:40,870 Those chicks dig me. Tonight, each of those women got five quality minutes 195 00:10:40,870 --> 00:10:41,870 a real man. 196 00:10:42,870 --> 00:10:43,870 Real man? 197 00:10:43,950 --> 00:10:47,090 Obviously, they haven't seen the tears in your eyes when you try to hold an 198 00:10:47,090 --> 00:10:49,290 Altoid in your mouth for more than five seconds. 199 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:53,360 They're curiously strong. 200 00:10:55,700 --> 00:10:57,600 Stop making fun of my husband, okay? 201 00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:01,360 Those women at speed dating must have been climbing all over themselves to get 202 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:02,039 to him. 203 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:05,220 He happens to be the greatest, sweetest guy ever to walk into one of those 204 00:11:05,220 --> 00:11:07,940 things. Thank you, honey. You're the best. How many times do you say that 205 00:11:07,940 --> 00:11:09,000 tonight, you two -timing bastard? 206 00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:15,260 Hey, if you think you did so great, let's see what you got. Come on, man. 207 00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:16,280 check out the scoreboard. 208 00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:17,660 Fine, fine. Let's do it. 209 00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:22,380 You really think that shirt is sexy? 210 00:11:24,220 --> 00:11:25,940 Yes, I bought it for him. 211 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:28,560 Did you buy it in the men's department? 212 00:11:31,220 --> 00:11:34,220 Oh, here it is. I got 21. 213 00:11:35,580 --> 00:11:39,260 21? Greg, that's only 70%. What the hell are you doing down there? 214 00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:41,900 It's okay, Greg. 215 00:11:42,220 --> 00:11:43,800 70 is a passing grade. 216 00:11:44,060 --> 00:11:45,200 Yeah, it's better than a D. 217 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:49,760 Of course, it's not 80%, which is a B, which rhymes with C, which stands for 218 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:50,760 cute. 219 00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:55,080 Well, it's obvious what happened here. I went on a Monday. You went closer to a 220 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:59,900 weekend. On a Friday, a lonely woman would say yes to a monkey with kind eyes 221 00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:00,900 and good teeth. 222 00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:05,240 Oh, Greg, will you come on? Women will always pick me over you. 223 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,220 I don't know, Jimmy. I think Greg's right. 224 00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:11,120 Kim, I think I would have remembered if there was a monkey at my session. 225 00:12:12,619 --> 00:12:17,560 No, I meant that you met different women. You can't hold your score over 226 00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:20,620 Aha, that's right. It's different women, so the result's being nothing. 227 00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:21,579 Absolutely nothing. 228 00:12:21,580 --> 00:12:22,580 Wait a second, wait a second. 229 00:12:22,860 --> 00:12:26,860 This woman was at both of them. Catherine G. from Rancho Cucamonga. I 230 00:12:26,860 --> 00:12:31,160 her from your list. Yes. Oh, and it looks like she gave you a no vote. 231 00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:33,600 she gave old Jimbo the big thumbs up. 232 00:12:33,950 --> 00:12:37,830 Well, it's obvious that she's a loser. Why would she go back a second time? The 233 00:12:37,830 --> 00:12:40,950 same reason people flock to Graceland, the last place they saw the king. 234 00:12:44,750 --> 00:12:46,990 Hey, you were only with these women for five minutes. 235 00:12:47,230 --> 00:12:50,510 That's not enough time for a woman to understand a complex person like Greg. 236 00:12:50,750 --> 00:12:53,930 Yeah, she's right. I mean, anyone likes you for the first five minutes. 237 00:12:54,250 --> 00:12:57,370 Hell, I liked you up until the twelfth minute when you sneezed into your hand 238 00:12:57,370 --> 00:12:58,750 and said, dude, check this out. 239 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,140 do you care anyway? I mean, you married well. 240 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:06,840 I mean, I was really hammered, but I know the wedding happened because I was 241 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:07,840 all the pictures. 242 00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:11,660 Yeah, you know, I don't know what you're getting so upset about. You're the one 243 00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:14,540 who turned this whole thing into a competition and you're just gonna have 244 00:13:14,540 --> 00:13:15,540 face it, Greg. 245 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:17,400 The ladies love cool Jimmy. 246 00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:23,440 I can't believe he beat me. How could he beat me? 247 00:13:23,780 --> 00:13:26,660 Oh, I do remember in high school he used to get a lot of girls. 248 00:13:26,900 --> 00:13:29,780 Yeah, but that was high school. It's supposed to be different now. 249 00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:32,940 You know, I remember kids like Jimmy in high school. 250 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:37,040 He got all the dates, got all the girls, went to all the parties, had all the 251 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:38,040 fun. 252 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:42,620 I mean, the one thing that gave kids like me hope was knowing that one day it 253 00:13:42,620 --> 00:13:46,280 might be different, you know, that one day I might be popular. 254 00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:49,240 Do you understand what I'm saying? 255 00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:53,680 Well, not really. I was kind of in that first group you were talking about. 256 00:13:58,320 --> 00:13:59,520 Okay, Mr. Staff. 257 00:13:59,900 --> 00:14:02,400 I'm starting the nitrous oxide, so just breathe normally. 258 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:06,080 Catherine? Catherine G. from Rancho Cucamonga? 259 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:09,280 Greg? 260 00:14:09,540 --> 00:14:11,380 Greg W. from Century City? 261 00:14:12,020 --> 00:14:13,020 What are you doing here? 262 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,360 I need to ask you a few questions. 263 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:19,000 Well, I'm kind of busy. Well, look, this will just take a minute, okay? 264 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:21,940 I really need to know, how could you like Jimmy better than me? 265 00:14:22,180 --> 00:14:26,260 Jimmy? Yeah, Jimmy. You met him a few days before you met me. You gave him a 266 00:14:26,260 --> 00:14:28,920 vote, security guard, wore a baseball cap. 267 00:14:29,450 --> 00:14:30,450 Oh, yeah, Jimmy. 268 00:14:30,550 --> 00:14:31,550 Oh, he was nice. 269 00:14:32,230 --> 00:14:34,470 Slightly crooked by cuspids, but he was cute. 270 00:14:34,710 --> 00:14:36,890 Yeah, yeah, he was cute. Everybody loves Jimmy. 271 00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:40,830 Look, that's why I had to come back to see you. I don't think that five minutes 272 00:14:40,830 --> 00:14:44,450 was enough time to really get to know me, and I'm certain that... What's up 273 00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:45,450 this one? 274 00:14:46,550 --> 00:14:47,550 Hang on a second. 275 00:14:47,710 --> 00:14:51,690 Mr. Staff, you're in a dentist's office. You're not running. 276 00:14:56,110 --> 00:14:58,230 Greg, the truth is... 277 00:14:58,490 --> 00:14:59,490 I really like you. 278 00:14:59,630 --> 00:15:00,630 You do? 279 00:15:00,810 --> 00:15:04,530 In two sessions, I met 60 men at speed dating. And of all of them, I thought 280 00:15:04,530 --> 00:15:05,530 were by far the best. 281 00:15:05,790 --> 00:15:07,990 Well, if you felt that way, why didn't you want to see me again? 282 00:15:09,330 --> 00:15:13,590 This is a little embarrassing, but I felt like you were out of my league. 283 00:15:15,530 --> 00:15:19,670 You see, I'm just a dental hygienist with a simple, ordinary life. Oh, I'm 284 00:15:19,670 --> 00:15:21,750 sorry. Could you go back and say that part over? 285 00:15:22,890 --> 00:15:24,590 You thought I was what? 286 00:15:26,870 --> 00:15:27,870 Out of my league? 287 00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:29,060 Out of your league? 288 00:15:29,420 --> 00:15:31,580 Come on. You're an executive. 289 00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:37,900 You work at a studio. You have... Whoa. 290 00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:42,300 We're just gonna give you a little break from the nitrous. 291 00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:52,280 So, uh... I mean, is that why you picked Jimmy? 292 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:55,380 Yeah, I mean, you know, he's nice, and I'm realistic. 293 00:15:56,060 --> 00:15:58,500 Jimmy's the kind of guy a girl like me usually winds up with. 294 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,440 So you would settle for a guy like him? 295 00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:04,400 Well, yeah, but, I mean, apparently I'm not going to have to. 296 00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:05,579 Excuse me? 297 00:16:05,580 --> 00:16:07,040 I can't believe you're here. 298 00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,040 Look, this is my last appointment. 299 00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:10,620 Do you want to go to dinner afterwards? 300 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,960 There's an Applebee's right across the parking lot. 301 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,580 Oh, my God, what am I saying? You came all this way to see me. 302 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:17,960 Let's splurge. 303 00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,060 Let's go to Outback. 304 00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:25,120 Hey, Christine. 305 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:26,520 Check it out. 306 00:16:30,220 --> 00:16:34,160 Nice, Jimmy. Yeah, whoever said you can't find anything good at the 99 -cent 307 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,780 store obviously wasn't looking hard enough. 308 00:16:37,340 --> 00:16:38,900 Where's Greg? I gotta show him this. 309 00:16:39,100 --> 00:16:42,300 Jimmy, don't you think you've tortured Greg enough with this? 310 00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:44,020 Well, I'm just enjoying my victory. 311 00:16:44,380 --> 00:16:45,780 Yeah, but you're hurting his feelings. 312 00:16:46,260 --> 00:16:50,780 Look, sweetie, we all know you're cute. But if you want to keep my vote, stop 313 00:16:50,780 --> 00:16:53,240 being such a jerk about it. Hot stuff. Ow. 314 00:16:57,290 --> 00:16:58,630 Well, there he is, Mr. 315 00:16:58,830 --> 00:17:01,770 80%. Hey, Greg, listen. 316 00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:04,690 I got something I want to tell you. 317 00:17:04,930 --> 00:17:08,310 Oh, really? Well, as it turns out, I have something I want to tell you. Okay, 318 00:17:08,369 --> 00:17:10,550 but listen, just about the speed dating. 319 00:17:10,970 --> 00:17:12,470 I just wanted to apologize. 320 00:17:13,609 --> 00:17:18,190 Apologize? Yeah, I just think, you know, I got all pumped up about it and 321 00:17:18,190 --> 00:17:20,069 started acting like such an idiot. 322 00:17:21,069 --> 00:17:25,329 That's not very cool, especially to do that to a guy who's done so much for us, 323 00:17:25,369 --> 00:17:26,369 you know. 324 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:30,980 Yes, the truth is I've always been a little jealous of you. 325 00:17:32,060 --> 00:17:37,960 It's like we've both been blessed with great wives and great kids, but you've 326 00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:41,700 got brains and you've got a better car and you've got a great career and you've 327 00:17:41,700 --> 00:17:42,700 got this amazing house. 328 00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:49,000 It's kind of sad, but compared to that, the only thing I have over you is me 329 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,000 getting the girl. 330 00:17:51,980 --> 00:17:52,980 So I'm sorry. 331 00:17:55,830 --> 00:17:59,090 Well, I didn't know how important it was for you to have this one thing over me. 332 00:17:59,310 --> 00:18:00,289 It's all I got. 333 00:18:00,290 --> 00:18:01,290 Well, you got nothing. 334 00:18:05,270 --> 00:18:09,390 Huh? You lose, pal. You know why? Catherine G. gave me a no vote, and she 335 00:18:09,510 --> 00:18:12,370 and I quote her, that I was out of her league. 336 00:18:12,850 --> 00:18:15,930 Out of her league? Yep, that's what she told me. I went to see her, and she 337 00:18:15,930 --> 00:18:18,910 wanted to take me to Outback, and then I told her I was married, so she chased 338 00:18:18,910 --> 00:18:23,250 me into the parking lot with one of those cavity picker checker poker 339 00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:28,320 Wait, she said to you that you were out of her league? 340 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:31,700 Not only that, but she told me you're the kind of guy that she would have to 341 00:18:31,700 --> 00:18:32,700 settle for. 342 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,920 She said that? Yeah, she said that. So you got nothing. 343 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:40,300 Zippo, zilch, the center of a donut, nada. You got nothing. 344 00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:47,520 Wrong. I get the girl. 345 00:18:47,980 --> 00:18:49,800 That's because I'm out of her league. 346 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:51,760 Hey, so what? 347 00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:57,040 So what? All I know is, if we were out there in the dating world right now, you 348 00:18:57,040 --> 00:19:01,120 would be going home alone, and I would be watching the sun rise over Rancho 349 00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:02,120 Cucamonga. 350 00:19:03,820 --> 00:19:08,440 Because she would be settling for you. Well, even better, okay? I not only get 351 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:12,000 the girl, I also get a girl who's out of my league. I win! 352 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,200 You got nothing! 353 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:22,220 Well, damn it, this is my... It's my turn to win. No, no, no. Sorry, pal. 354 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:26,600 It's like I said before. No matter what happens, if we're out there trying to 355 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:30,240 pick up women, you will end up alone and I will always get the girl. And you 356 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:30,919 know why? 357 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,160 Because I am hot stuff. 358 00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,380 Someone attracted the gloat. 359 00:19:42,060 --> 00:19:43,840 He is cute. By God, he is cute. 360 00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:49,760 I am so happy I met you. 361 00:19:50,420 --> 00:19:53,600 After I had such a bad experience, I wasn't even going to go back to speed 362 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,620 dating. But thank God I did. 363 00:19:56,380 --> 00:19:57,560 You are so cute. 364 00:20:01,540 --> 00:20:02,780 And you've got great teeth. 365 00:20:03,060 --> 00:20:04,420 Trust me, I'm a professional. 366 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:13,740 Listen, this isn't like a big deal or anything, but if you don't like your 367 00:20:13,740 --> 00:20:17,320 dessert... Could you maybe not throw your feces at the waiter this time? 368 00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:28,060 Or not. You know, I mean, whatever. 369 00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:29,660 It was just a question. 370 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:33,780 Why do I always have to screw up a good thing? 371 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:35,360 Why? Why? 29794

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