All language subtitles for Yes Dear s04e04 Speed Dating
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1
00:00:01,060 --> 00:00:04,860
Hey, Jimmy, you ready? Hey, Billy, man,
you look good. Yeah, Billy, is that a
2
00:00:04,860 --> 00:00:05,399
new shirt?
3
00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:07,180
Yep, left the cardboard in the collar.
4
00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:12,100
Keeps it nice and crisp, you know, plus
it works like a neck brace because I
5
00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:13,980
think I sprained something trying to
close my top button.
6
00:00:15,950 --> 00:00:16,889
What are you guys up to?
7
00:00:16,890 --> 00:00:20,350
Billy's car is in the shop, so I'm
taking him down to the Ramada. He signed
8
00:00:20,350 --> 00:00:24,050
for five -minute speed dating. What's
five -minute speed dating? Oh, it's this
9
00:00:24,050 --> 00:00:26,910
matchmaking thing where you spend five
minutes each talking to a bunch of
10
00:00:26,910 --> 00:00:29,350
different women, and then at the end of
the night, you write down the people
11
00:00:29,350 --> 00:00:30,209
that you're interested in.
12
00:00:30,210 --> 00:00:31,148
You ready to go, dude?
13
00:00:31,150 --> 00:00:33,610
Yeah, hey, thanks for driving, man.
Well, now you ought to have to take the
14
00:00:33,610 --> 00:00:36,290
and the last guy that scored with the
lady stepping off the bus was Keith
15
00:00:36,290 --> 00:00:37,290
Partridge.
16
00:00:39,770 --> 00:00:43,050
Speed dating, instant messaging, one
-hour photo. What's the hurry?
17
00:00:43,530 --> 00:00:46,630
I mean, you ever notice that everyone is
in such a rush these days?
18
00:00:46,930 --> 00:00:48,650
Hey, who woke up Andy Rooney?
19
00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:23,720
What are you talking about, man? Look at
all these women.
20
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:26,760
I know. That's why I'm so nervous. Look
at me. I'm sweating so much, my
21
00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:28,220
cardboard's getting soggy. Okay, buddy.
22
00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:29,520
Okay?
23
00:01:30,680 --> 00:01:34,220
Now, you can handle this, okay? Just
don't look at it as 30 dates. It's only
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00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:37,660
five minutes with each girl. That's
worse. The first five minutes of the
25
00:01:37,660 --> 00:01:38,660
the hardest part.
26
00:01:38,820 --> 00:01:41,840
Okay, think of it this way. It's also
the last five minutes of each date.
27
00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:44,700
even worse. The first five minutes of
the date, they're thinking, how bad can
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00:01:44,700 --> 00:01:45,920
be? The last five, they know.
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00:01:47,950 --> 00:01:49,450
I just wish I didn't have to go in there
alone.
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00:01:49,690 --> 00:01:52,710
Okay, but look, you came all the way
down here. What do you want me to do?
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00:01:52,710 --> 00:01:54,530
want me to go in there with you? I'll go
in there with you.
32
00:01:54,750 --> 00:01:57,830
Really? Yeah, let me just call
Christine. I'll tell her I'll be late.
33
00:02:00,070 --> 00:02:01,070
Hey, Christine, it's me.
34
00:02:01,410 --> 00:02:02,410
Hey, what's up?
35
00:02:02,550 --> 00:02:06,610
Yeah, listen, Billy's kind of nervous,
so I'm just going to stay. I'm going to
36
00:02:06,610 --> 00:02:08,110
do speed dating with him. What?
37
00:02:09,190 --> 00:02:11,810
I don't want you down there flirting
with a bunch of women.
38
00:02:12,070 --> 00:02:14,450
Look, Christine, if I don't stay,
Billy's going to leave.
39
00:02:14,900 --> 00:02:18,100
Okay, and if he doesn't find a girl,
he's just going to go home and fantasize
40
00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:19,220
about one like he does every night.
41
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:20,600
Well, that's not my problem.
42
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,040
Christine, the girl is you.
43
00:02:24,060 --> 00:02:25,180
Go, go, go, go.
44
00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:28,680
All right, I'm in, man.
45
00:02:28,860 --> 00:02:29,860
Oh, thanks, Jimmy.
46
00:02:30,100 --> 00:02:32,560
Hey, maybe you can go ahead of me in the
rotation. That way, if you're talking
47
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:35,820
to a girl in front of me, you can say
something like, you saw me in the shower
48
00:02:35,820 --> 00:02:37,340
and it made you feel like less of a man.
49
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,380
So you want me to lie? Please.
50
00:02:43,220 --> 00:02:47,240
Well, uh... Originally, I'm from
Baltimore. That's halfway between
51
00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:48,240
.C. and Philadelphia.
52
00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:50,260
Actually, it's closer to D .C.
53
00:02:50,580 --> 00:02:52,060
It's about 40 miles from D .C.
54
00:02:52,320 --> 00:02:53,660
It's about 80 miles from Philadelphia.
55
00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:54,900
I don't know why I said halfway.
56
00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:57,600
Philadelphia is actually in another
state.
57
00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,920
So is Washington, D .C. Actually,
Washington, D .C. isn't a state, it's a
58
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:02,920
district.
59
00:03:04,460 --> 00:03:06,960
Oh, geez, you didn't even get a chance
to talk. Quick, say something.
60
00:03:07,340 --> 00:03:08,340
Goodbye.
61
00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:14,580
I'm Kelly. Hi, Kelly. I'm Billy.
62
00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:20,980
Hey, our names almost rhyme. Well, if
you were Killy and I was Belly, that
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00:03:20,980 --> 00:03:22,840
be stupid because there really aren't
such names.
64
00:03:29,580 --> 00:03:30,580
Ding!
65
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:33,900
Hey, this is fun, isn't it?
66
00:03:34,420 --> 00:03:35,520
A little nerve -wracking.
67
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:36,840
Aren't you nervous?
68
00:03:37,220 --> 00:03:39,680
Yeah, what does it matter? You like me
or don't like me. What's the difference?
69
00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:43,120
You're amazing.
70
00:03:43,380 --> 00:03:46,520
I mean, half the guys in here are
nervous, spouting out these lies to
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00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:49,300
me. Well, you know what? I am who I am,
sweetheart.
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00:03:49,540 --> 00:03:54,420
You know? I work as a security guard, I
drive a beat -up old car, and I spend my
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00:03:54,420 --> 00:03:56,920
weekends drinking beer and listening to
my old Whitesnake albums.
74
00:03:57,300 --> 00:04:00,260
Oh, my God, Whitesnake? Yeah. I love
Whitesnake.
75
00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:04,460
It was really great meeting you. Hey, it
was nice meeting you.
76
00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:08,320
Here I go again on my own.
77
00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:16,630
Going down the only road... I've ever
known Like a drifter I was born to
78
00:04:16,630 --> 00:04:19,910
walk alone What's up?
79
00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:26,910
Hey, how'd it go?
80
00:04:27,170 --> 00:04:29,090
Oh, fantastic. It's the greatest
invention ever.
81
00:04:31,490 --> 00:04:32,750
What, speed dating?
82
00:04:32,970 --> 00:04:35,130
No, a little bell that makes women stop
talking.
83
00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:41,850
Is it okay if I use your computer? I
want to check my scores.
84
00:04:42,190 --> 00:04:43,190
Sure. What scores?
85
00:04:43,470 --> 00:04:45,830
At the end of the night, you write down
which people you're interested in seeing
86
00:04:45,830 --> 00:04:47,350
again, and then all the info is posted
online.
87
00:04:47,790 --> 00:04:51,190
Well, that's a nice way to do it. When I
was dating, I could never reject a guy
88
00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:51,869
in person.
89
00:04:51,870 --> 00:04:54,450
Yeah, as I remember, that's the only
reason you had a second date with Greg.
90
00:04:55,850 --> 00:04:58,090
And when you called to let him down
easy, his mother answered.
91
00:04:59,050 --> 00:05:02,930
Actually, I had a feeling she was going
to do that, so that wasn't my mother, it
92
00:05:02,930 --> 00:05:03,930
was me.
93
00:05:05,810 --> 00:05:06,810
No, it wasn't.
94
00:05:07,230 --> 00:05:08,230
Hello?
95
00:05:09,390 --> 00:05:11,610
Kim, I'm sorry. Greg's cleaning in the
garage.
96
00:05:14,650 --> 00:05:16,290
What? It all worked out for the best.
97
00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:19,250
Hey, so, Billy, how'd you do?
98
00:05:19,650 --> 00:05:21,390
Three. Three women voted yes.
99
00:05:21,670 --> 00:05:22,670
Out of 30?
100
00:05:22,730 --> 00:05:25,950
Well, don't take it too hard, Billy. I
mean, it could have been worse.
101
00:05:26,170 --> 00:05:27,370
Are you kidding me? That's fantastic.
102
00:05:28,810 --> 00:05:31,930
The last time three women were
interested in me, they were hitchhiking
103
00:05:31,930 --> 00:05:33,050
Melissa Etheridge concert.
104
00:05:34,410 --> 00:05:35,750
I got some calls to make.
105
00:05:36,030 --> 00:05:37,030
All right. Hey, you want to ride home?
106
00:05:37,350 --> 00:05:38,710
Nah. I'll walk it.
107
00:05:38,950 --> 00:05:41,870
I'll see you tomorrow, Jimmy. And,
Christine, I'd say I'll see you in my
108
00:05:41,990 --> 00:05:43,410
but you've got the night off.
109
00:05:48,170 --> 00:05:50,030
Hey, Jimmy, let's check your results.
110
00:05:50,710 --> 00:05:52,710
Let's see if my man is a P -I -M -P.
111
00:05:54,110 --> 00:05:57,050
I think your husband's more like a C -H
-I -M -P.
112
00:05:59,090 --> 00:06:00,430
Oh, my God, Jimmy.
113
00:06:01,390 --> 00:06:03,430
24 women want to see you again.
114
00:06:03,850 --> 00:06:04,850
He's dead.
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00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:09,200
80 %?
116
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:10,720
Wow.
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00:06:10,980 --> 00:06:11,980
Jimmy.
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00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:17,060
Man, if he got 80%, just imagine what
Iowa's got. Hey, don't beat yourself up,
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00:06:17,180 --> 00:06:18,560
Greg. I'm sure you would have gotten a
few.
120
00:06:18,940 --> 00:06:20,660
No, I mean I would have gotten more than
you.
121
00:06:24,660 --> 00:06:28,720
Hey, Greg happens to be very appealing
to women. In fact, if we weren't
122
00:06:28,820 --> 00:06:30,660
I'm sure he could get any woman he
wanted.
123
00:06:32,180 --> 00:06:36,360
Stop laughing. Stop laughing. Sorry,
Greg, but do you really think you would
124
00:06:36,360 --> 00:06:37,360
have done better than me?
125
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:40,740
Of course I would. Greg, you know, this
is picking up women, not long divisions.
126
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:46,840
Please, I'm much more appealing than
Jimmy. I've got a good job. I'm smarter.
127
00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:49,060
I don't scratch my ass with my car keys.
128
00:06:51,700 --> 00:06:53,100
Yeah, but Jimmy's cute.
129
00:06:53,460 --> 00:06:54,920
Oh, you're saying Greg's not cute?
130
00:06:55,180 --> 00:06:59,360
No, you know what? They're both cute. I
mean, Jimmy's cute like a big floppy
131
00:06:59,360 --> 00:07:04,080
mutt. And Greg's more like one of those
small hairless cats.
132
00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:10,480
Yeah, Jim is adorable to a bunch of
women who have to go to speed dating.
133
00:07:10,780 --> 00:07:13,280
Oh, what? You don't think I'm a good
catch?
134
00:07:13,480 --> 00:07:16,820
No, but I'm not a lonely, desperate
woman down at the Ramada Inn whose
135
00:07:16,820 --> 00:07:19,240
biological clock is down to the two
-minute warning.
136
00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:26,080
Okay, look, Greg, you have a great job.
137
00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:31,600
You got a great car. You got this big
house. And on paper, you look great. But
138
00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,100
when it comes to actually picking up
women, I...
139
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,760
I'm always going to do better than you.
Oh, please.
140
00:07:37,340 --> 00:07:40,780
I'm serious, Greg. I think if it came
down to the two of us, I would always
141
00:07:40,780 --> 00:07:42,680
the girl and you would always end up
going home alone.
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00:07:42,940 --> 00:07:49,860
Okay. You keep telling me. I don't have
to. My
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00:07:49,860 --> 00:07:50,860
numbers speak for themselves.
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00:07:51,420 --> 00:07:52,420
Come on, Christine.
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00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:56,900
I would like to take you out back and
give you what 80 % of the women I met
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tonight can only dream of.
147
00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:03,340
You are a very desirable man.
148
00:08:03,540 --> 00:08:06,040
Don't you listen to him? Listen to him?
I'm not going to give it another
149
00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:08,720
thought. I would like to sign up for
speed dating.
150
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:11,920
Are you sure?
151
00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:16,620
Yeah, what? You don't think women would
go for me? I'm a hard -working, honest
152
00:08:16,620 --> 00:08:17,620
guy.
153
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:18,579
That's great.
154
00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:22,140
But before you tell 30 women how honest
you are, you might want to take off your
155
00:08:22,140 --> 00:08:23,140
wedding ring.
156
00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:25,460
Thank you.
157
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:30,460
As an executive, I love having women in
the workplace.
158
00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:34,460
Women are analytical, they're calm in a
crisis, and their maternal instincts
159
00:08:34,460 --> 00:08:36,919
make it more natural for them to
multitask.
160
00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:39,720
Wow. Most guys aren't so insightful.
161
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,700
Well, actually, I read that in Cosmo.
162
00:08:42,820 --> 00:08:46,820
You read Cosmo? Not by choice. Every
month I get at least one article shoved
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00:08:46,820 --> 00:08:47,820
down my throat by my wife.
164
00:08:51,660 --> 00:08:53,140
By my white mailman.
165
00:08:55,619 --> 00:08:58,480
Yeah, on the weekends we have a white
mailman.
166
00:08:59,020 --> 00:09:03,760
During the week it's usually an Asian
fellow.
167
00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:08,200
Oh, okay, Greg W.
168
00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:09,500
Ask for me by name.
169
00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:15,060
Julie, don't worry about it. I mean,
you're going to find someone.
170
00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:17,680
Remember, the altar is not a finish
line.
171
00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:19,700
It's more of a starting gate.
172
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:23,220
And believe you me, that's where the
real work begins.
173
00:09:24,640 --> 00:09:30,150
Wow. You're so sensitive. In fact... Oh,
sorry. Time's up.
174
00:09:30,590 --> 00:09:31,810
Everyone gets a turn here.
175
00:09:32,450 --> 00:09:35,050
Hey, I don't make the rules. Okay,
ladies, who's next?
176
00:09:39,630 --> 00:09:42,850
Kim, we were right. I went to speed
dating and the women loved me.
177
00:09:43,110 --> 00:09:44,110
What?
178
00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:46,750
You went to speed dating?
179
00:09:46,990 --> 00:09:48,970
Yes, and I was on fire down there.
180
00:09:51,170 --> 00:09:52,790
I can't believe you did this.
181
00:09:53,070 --> 00:09:54,070
What?
182
00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:58,420
cheated on me. I wasn't cheating. I
mean, how much could I have done? I only
183
00:09:58,420 --> 00:09:59,760
gave each of them five minutes.
184
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:03,180
More than I get some nights.
185
00:10:05,940 --> 00:10:07,740
Well, you shouldn't move around so much.
186
00:10:13,420 --> 00:10:16,560
I mean, when I say be still, I mean be
still.
187
00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:20,440
Why are you so mad? Jimmy did it.
188
00:10:20,730 --> 00:10:23,910
Jimmy was down there helping out a
friend. He didn't sneak off to speed
189
00:10:23,910 --> 00:10:24,910
without telling Christine.
190
00:10:26,070 --> 00:10:28,430
In a shirt, his wife told him was sexy.
191
00:10:29,110 --> 00:10:30,110
Again, you were right.
192
00:10:31,910 --> 00:10:33,170
You went to speed dating?
193
00:10:33,370 --> 00:10:37,050
Why? To prove I could do better than
you. And let me tell you something,
194
00:10:37,090 --> 00:10:40,870
Those chicks dig me. Tonight, each of
those women got five quality minutes
195
00:10:40,870 --> 00:10:41,870
a real man.
196
00:10:42,870 --> 00:10:43,870
Real man?
197
00:10:43,950 --> 00:10:47,090
Obviously, they haven't seen the tears
in your eyes when you try to hold an
198
00:10:47,090 --> 00:10:49,290
Altoid in your mouth for more than five
seconds.
199
00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:53,360
They're curiously strong.
200
00:10:55,700 --> 00:10:57,600
Stop making fun of my husband, okay?
201
00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:01,360
Those women at speed dating must have
been climbing all over themselves to get
202
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:02,039
to him.
203
00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:05,220
He happens to be the greatest, sweetest
guy ever to walk into one of those
204
00:11:05,220 --> 00:11:07,940
things. Thank you, honey. You're the
best. How many times do you say that
205
00:11:07,940 --> 00:11:09,000
tonight, you two -timing bastard?
206
00:11:11,560 --> 00:11:15,260
Hey, if you think you did so great,
let's see what you got. Come on, man.
207
00:11:15,260 --> 00:11:16,280
check out the scoreboard.
208
00:11:16,520 --> 00:11:17,660
Fine, fine. Let's do it.
209
00:11:20,520 --> 00:11:22,380
You really think that shirt is sexy?
210
00:11:24,220 --> 00:11:25,940
Yes, I bought it for him.
211
00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:28,560
Did you buy it in the men's department?
212
00:11:31,220 --> 00:11:34,220
Oh, here it is. I got 21.
213
00:11:35,580 --> 00:11:39,260
21? Greg, that's only 70%. What the hell
are you doing down there?
214
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:41,900
It's okay, Greg.
215
00:11:42,220 --> 00:11:43,800
70 is a passing grade.
216
00:11:44,060 --> 00:11:45,200
Yeah, it's better than a D.
217
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:49,760
Of course, it's not 80%, which is a B,
which rhymes with C, which stands for
218
00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:50,760
cute.
219
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:55,080
Well, it's obvious what happened here. I
went on a Monday. You went closer to a
220
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:59,900
weekend. On a Friday, a lonely woman
would say yes to a monkey with kind eyes
221
00:11:59,900 --> 00:12:00,900
and good teeth.
222
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:05,240
Oh, Greg, will you come on? Women will
always pick me over you.
223
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,220
I don't know, Jimmy. I think Greg's
right.
224
00:12:07,840 --> 00:12:11,120
Kim, I think I would have remembered if
there was a monkey at my session.
225
00:12:12,619 --> 00:12:17,560
No, I meant that you met different
women. You can't hold your score over
226
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:20,620
Aha, that's right. It's different women,
so the result's being nothing.
227
00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:21,579
Absolutely nothing.
228
00:12:21,580 --> 00:12:22,580
Wait a second, wait a second.
229
00:12:22,860 --> 00:12:26,860
This woman was at both of them.
Catherine G. from Rancho Cucamonga. I
230
00:12:26,860 --> 00:12:31,160
her from your list. Yes. Oh, and it
looks like she gave you a no vote.
231
00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:33,600
she gave old Jimbo the big thumbs up.
232
00:12:33,950 --> 00:12:37,830
Well, it's obvious that she's a loser.
Why would she go back a second time? The
233
00:12:37,830 --> 00:12:40,950
same reason people flock to Graceland,
the last place they saw the king.
234
00:12:44,750 --> 00:12:46,990
Hey, you were only with these women for
five minutes.
235
00:12:47,230 --> 00:12:50,510
That's not enough time for a woman to
understand a complex person like Greg.
236
00:12:50,750 --> 00:12:53,930
Yeah, she's right. I mean, anyone likes
you for the first five minutes.
237
00:12:54,250 --> 00:12:57,370
Hell, I liked you up until the twelfth
minute when you sneezed into your hand
238
00:12:57,370 --> 00:12:58,750
and said, dude, check this out.
239
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:03,140
do you care anyway? I mean, you married
well.
240
00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:06,840
I mean, I was really hammered, but I
know the wedding happened because I was
241
00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:07,840
all the pictures.
242
00:13:08,680 --> 00:13:11,660
Yeah, you know, I don't know what you're
getting so upset about. You're the one
243
00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:14,540
who turned this whole thing into a
competition and you're just gonna have
244
00:13:14,540 --> 00:13:15,540
face it, Greg.
245
00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:17,400
The ladies love cool Jimmy.
246
00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:23,440
I can't believe he beat me. How could he
beat me?
247
00:13:23,780 --> 00:13:26,660
Oh, I do remember in high school he used
to get a lot of girls.
248
00:13:26,900 --> 00:13:29,780
Yeah, but that was high school. It's
supposed to be different now.
249
00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:32,940
You know, I remember kids like Jimmy in
high school.
250
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:37,040
He got all the dates, got all the girls,
went to all the parties, had all the
251
00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:38,040
fun.
252
00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:42,620
I mean, the one thing that gave kids
like me hope was knowing that one day it
253
00:13:42,620 --> 00:13:46,280
might be different, you know, that one
day I might be popular.
254
00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:49,240
Do you understand what I'm saying?
255
00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:53,680
Well, not really. I was kind of in that
first group you were talking about.
256
00:13:58,320 --> 00:13:59,520
Okay, Mr. Staff.
257
00:13:59,900 --> 00:14:02,400
I'm starting the nitrous oxide, so just
breathe normally.
258
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:06,080
Catherine? Catherine G. from Rancho
Cucamonga?
259
00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:09,280
Greg?
260
00:14:09,540 --> 00:14:11,380
Greg W. from Century City?
261
00:14:12,020 --> 00:14:13,020
What are you doing here?
262
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,360
I need to ask you a few questions.
263
00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:19,000
Well, I'm kind of busy. Well, look, this
will just take a minute, okay?
264
00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:21,940
I really need to know, how could you
like Jimmy better than me?
265
00:14:22,180 --> 00:14:26,260
Jimmy? Yeah, Jimmy. You met him a few
days before you met me. You gave him a
266
00:14:26,260 --> 00:14:28,920
vote, security guard, wore a baseball
cap.
267
00:14:29,450 --> 00:14:30,450
Oh, yeah, Jimmy.
268
00:14:30,550 --> 00:14:31,550
Oh, he was nice.
269
00:14:32,230 --> 00:14:34,470
Slightly crooked by cuspids, but he was
cute.
270
00:14:34,710 --> 00:14:36,890
Yeah, yeah, he was cute. Everybody loves
Jimmy.
271
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:40,830
Look, that's why I had to come back to
see you. I don't think that five minutes
272
00:14:40,830 --> 00:14:44,450
was enough time to really get to know
me, and I'm certain that... What's up
273
00:14:44,450 --> 00:14:45,450
this one?
274
00:14:46,550 --> 00:14:47,550
Hang on a second.
275
00:14:47,710 --> 00:14:51,690
Mr. Staff, you're in a dentist's office.
You're not running.
276
00:14:56,110 --> 00:14:58,230
Greg, the truth is...
277
00:14:58,490 --> 00:14:59,490
I really like you.
278
00:14:59,630 --> 00:15:00,630
You do?
279
00:15:00,810 --> 00:15:04,530
In two sessions, I met 60 men at speed
dating. And of all of them, I thought
280
00:15:04,530 --> 00:15:05,530
were by far the best.
281
00:15:05,790 --> 00:15:07,990
Well, if you felt that way, why didn't
you want to see me again?
282
00:15:09,330 --> 00:15:13,590
This is a little embarrassing, but I
felt like you were out of my league.
283
00:15:15,530 --> 00:15:19,670
You see, I'm just a dental hygienist
with a simple, ordinary life. Oh, I'm
284
00:15:19,670 --> 00:15:21,750
sorry. Could you go back and say that
part over?
285
00:15:22,890 --> 00:15:24,590
You thought I was what?
286
00:15:26,870 --> 00:15:27,870
Out of my league?
287
00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:29,060
Out of your league?
288
00:15:29,420 --> 00:15:31,580
Come on. You're an executive.
289
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:37,900
You work at a studio. You have... Whoa.
290
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:42,300
We're just gonna give you a little break
from the nitrous.
291
00:15:47,040 --> 00:15:52,280
So, uh... I mean, is that why you picked
Jimmy?
292
00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:55,380
Yeah, I mean, you know, he's nice, and
I'm realistic.
293
00:15:56,060 --> 00:15:58,500
Jimmy's the kind of guy a girl like me
usually winds up with.
294
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:01,440
So you would settle for a guy like him?
295
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:04,400
Well, yeah, but, I mean, apparently I'm
not going to have to.
296
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:05,579
Excuse me?
297
00:16:05,580 --> 00:16:07,040
I can't believe you're here.
298
00:16:07,680 --> 00:16:09,040
Look, this is my last appointment.
299
00:16:09,420 --> 00:16:10,620
Do you want to go to dinner afterwards?
300
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,960
There's an Applebee's right across the
parking lot.
301
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,580
Oh, my God, what am I saying? You came
all this way to see me.
302
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:17,960
Let's splurge.
303
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,060
Let's go to Outback.
304
00:16:24,120 --> 00:16:25,120
Hey, Christine.
305
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:26,520
Check it out.
306
00:16:30,220 --> 00:16:34,160
Nice, Jimmy. Yeah, whoever said you
can't find anything good at the 99 -cent
307
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,780
store obviously wasn't looking hard
enough.
308
00:16:37,340 --> 00:16:38,900
Where's Greg? I gotta show him this.
309
00:16:39,100 --> 00:16:42,300
Jimmy, don't you think you've tortured
Greg enough with this?
310
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:44,020
Well, I'm just enjoying my victory.
311
00:16:44,380 --> 00:16:45,780
Yeah, but you're hurting his feelings.
312
00:16:46,260 --> 00:16:50,780
Look, sweetie, we all know you're cute.
But if you want to keep my vote, stop
313
00:16:50,780 --> 00:16:53,240
being such a jerk about it. Hot stuff.
Ow.
314
00:16:57,290 --> 00:16:58,630
Well, there he is, Mr.
315
00:16:58,830 --> 00:17:01,770
80%. Hey, Greg, listen.
316
00:17:03,230 --> 00:17:04,690
I got something I want to tell you.
317
00:17:04,930 --> 00:17:08,310
Oh, really? Well, as it turns out, I
have something I want to tell you. Okay,
318
00:17:08,369 --> 00:17:10,550
but listen, just about the speed dating.
319
00:17:10,970 --> 00:17:12,470
I just wanted to apologize.
320
00:17:13,609 --> 00:17:18,190
Apologize? Yeah, I just think, you know,
I got all pumped up about it and
321
00:17:18,190 --> 00:17:20,069
started acting like such an idiot.
322
00:17:21,069 --> 00:17:25,329
That's not very cool, especially to do
that to a guy who's done so much for us,
323
00:17:25,369 --> 00:17:26,369
you know.
324
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:30,980
Yes, the truth is I've always been a
little jealous of you.
325
00:17:32,060 --> 00:17:37,960
It's like we've both been blessed with
great wives and great kids, but you've
326
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:41,700
got brains and you've got a better car
and you've got a great career and you've
327
00:17:41,700 --> 00:17:42,700
got this amazing house.
328
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:49,000
It's kind of sad, but compared to that,
the only thing I have over you is me
329
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,000
getting the girl.
330
00:17:51,980 --> 00:17:52,980
So I'm sorry.
331
00:17:55,830 --> 00:17:59,090
Well, I didn't know how important it was
for you to have this one thing over me.
332
00:17:59,310 --> 00:18:00,289
It's all I got.
333
00:18:00,290 --> 00:18:01,290
Well, you got nothing.
334
00:18:05,270 --> 00:18:09,390
Huh? You lose, pal. You know why?
Catherine G. gave me a no vote, and she
335
00:18:09,510 --> 00:18:12,370
and I quote her, that I was out of her
league.
336
00:18:12,850 --> 00:18:15,930
Out of her league? Yep, that's what she
told me. I went to see her, and she
337
00:18:15,930 --> 00:18:18,910
wanted to take me to Outback, and then I
told her I was married, so she chased
338
00:18:18,910 --> 00:18:23,250
me into the parking lot with one of
those cavity picker checker poker
339
00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:28,320
Wait, she said to you that you were out
of her league?
340
00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:31,700
Not only that, but she told me you're
the kind of guy that she would have to
341
00:18:31,700 --> 00:18:32,700
settle for.
342
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,920
She said that? Yeah, she said that. So
you got nothing.
343
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:40,300
Zippo, zilch, the center of a donut,
nada. You got nothing.
344
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:47,520
Wrong. I get the girl.
345
00:18:47,980 --> 00:18:49,800
That's because I'm out of her league.
346
00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:51,760
Hey, so what?
347
00:18:52,520 --> 00:18:57,040
So what? All I know is, if we were out
there in the dating world right now, you
348
00:18:57,040 --> 00:19:01,120
would be going home alone, and I would
be watching the sun rise over Rancho
349
00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:02,120
Cucamonga.
350
00:19:03,820 --> 00:19:08,440
Because she would be settling for you.
Well, even better, okay? I not only get
351
00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:12,000
the girl, I also get a girl who's out of
my league. I win!
352
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,200
You got nothing!
353
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:22,220
Well, damn it, this is my... It's my
turn to win. No, no, no. Sorry, pal.
354
00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:26,600
It's like I said before. No matter what
happens, if we're out there trying to
355
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:30,240
pick up women, you will end up alone and
I will always get the girl. And you
356
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:30,919
know why?
357
00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,160
Because I am hot stuff.
358
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:39,380
Someone attracted the gloat.
359
00:19:42,060 --> 00:19:43,840
He is cute. By God, he is cute.
360
00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:49,760
I am so happy I met you.
361
00:19:50,420 --> 00:19:53,600
After I had such a bad experience, I
wasn't even going to go back to speed
362
00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,620
dating. But thank God I did.
363
00:19:56,380 --> 00:19:57,560
You are so cute.
364
00:20:01,540 --> 00:20:02,780
And you've got great teeth.
365
00:20:03,060 --> 00:20:04,420
Trust me, I'm a professional.
366
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:13,740
Listen, this isn't like a big deal or
anything, but if you don't like your
367
00:20:13,740 --> 00:20:17,320
dessert... Could you maybe not throw
your feces at the waiter this time?
368
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:28,060
Or not. You know, I mean, whatever.
369
00:20:28,600 --> 00:20:29,660
It was just a question.
370
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:33,780
Why do I always have to screw up a good
thing?
371
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:35,360
Why? Why?
29794
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