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1
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What's all that?
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Sammy has a play date.
3
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With who, the Duke of York?
4
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No, Sammy's friend, Julia.
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The tea's for me and her mom, Jessica.
It's no big deal.
6
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Did you etch roses into the little
butters?
7
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All right, I'm excited.
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I met Jessica at Sammy's school the
other day. She seems really smart and
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And we're the same age. We have a lot in
common. I think we could be good
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friends.
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Oh, good. She came early. Greg, you'll
get a chance to meet her. Great.
12
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Hello.
13
00:00:40,990 --> 00:00:42,470
Come on in. Thank you.
14
00:00:42,690 --> 00:00:44,670
Oh, Julia, there's your buddy, Sammy.
15
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And this is my nanny, Sylvia.
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Oh, hello.
17
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Oh, I'm so glad we got to do this. I've
got a lot of great things planned today.
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We're going to have some fun.
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Oh, that's really great.
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I'll see you at four.
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Wait, wait, wait.
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You're leaving?
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Oh, yeah. I've got a lot of stuff to do.
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Sylvia, if you need to reach me, I'll be
on my cell.
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Have fun.
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Pretty butter.
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Hey,
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so how was your play date?
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I got ditched.
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What? Jessica left right after you did
this morning and stuck me with Sylvia,
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her elderly nanny.
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That seems awkward.
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Tell me about it.
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Haven't held a fake smile that long
since your cousin Russ was telling us
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his newfound relationship with the Lord.
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Can't believe it.
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Why does she even need a nanny anyway?
I'll never understand women like that.
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She's got one child and no job.
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Well, that's L .A. for you, you know.
What happened to raising your own kids?
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And what's with all the...
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Beach balls at Dodger games.
42
00:02:07,390 --> 00:02:10,070
What? I thought we were doing things we
don't like about L .A.
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So no more play dates with Julia, huh?
44
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No, she's coming over tomorrow.
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The kids got along so great, I couldn't
punish Sammy.
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I guess I'll be stuck with the nanny
again.
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You're stuck with her?
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Imagine how she feels.
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What are you talking about?
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Well, think about it. The poor thing
gets... Left at a strange house with a
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different mom every play date.
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I'm sure she was more uncomfortable than
you were.
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You're right.
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Oh, she's probably a really nice lady.
It's not her fault Jessica dumped her
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here.
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Tomorrow I'm going to talk to her.
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You spent four hours with her and you
never talked to her.
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Yeah.
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We spoke a little bit.
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00:02:47,230 --> 00:02:49,170
She asked me if I wanted a piece of hard
candy.
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I said, yes, thank you.
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00:02:52,870 --> 00:02:56,550
Then she reached deep into her purse and
pulled out something covered in lint.
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Ew. What'd you do?
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I politely popped it into my mouth.
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Took me ten minutes before I realized I
was sucking on a button.
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00:03:08,020 --> 00:03:09,020
Hey,
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Christine. Yeah.
68
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What barks, begs, and wags its tail?
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I told you, we're only doing that on
your birthday.
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00:03:20,880 --> 00:03:24,380
I got something for Dominic. Remember
how we always wanted a dog?
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00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:28,240
Jimmy, Greg is not going to let us...
Have a dog? He's still mad from when you
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peed on the lawn.
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It's okay.
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Because I got him.
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A mechno dog.
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00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:42,680
Check it out, man. It's awesome. You can
play with it. You can feed it. You can
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teach it new tricks. It's just like a
real dog.
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00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:45,459
Hi, Dad.
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00:03:45,460 --> 00:03:47,020
Hey, Dominic. I got you something.
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Cool. A mechno dog.
81
00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:52,520
Yeah. What should I call it? Well, you
can call it anything you want, you know.
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00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:53,600
I was actually...
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hoping that you might want to call it
Charlie. You know, I had a dog named
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Charlie when I was your age, and he was
just the best, so, you know, you could
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00:03:59,940 --> 00:04:00,779
call him Charlie.
86
00:04:00,780 --> 00:04:02,140
How about Spider -Man?
87
00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:06,240
Uh, yeah, Spider -Man's good.
88
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Uh, or Charlie.
89
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Or both.
90
00:04:10,060 --> 00:04:11,060
Spider -Man Charlie?
91
00:04:12,980 --> 00:04:14,340
Yeah, you're right, that sounds stupid.
92
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Let's call him Charlie.
93
00:04:19,399 --> 00:04:21,160
Kids are having a blast out back.
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There you go, Sylvia.
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Thought you might like some tea and
cookies.
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00:04:25,570 --> 00:04:26,850
Well, aren't you sweet?
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Not like Jessica.
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00:04:29,590 --> 00:04:30,590
Really?
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00:04:31,750 --> 00:04:32,990
Jessica's a little difficult, is she?
100
00:04:34,090 --> 00:04:35,430
Oh, I shouldn't say anything.
101
00:04:35,890 --> 00:04:38,690
Please don't tell her. I can't afford to
lose this job.
102
00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:41,250
I lost all my money in the crash.
103
00:04:41,670 --> 00:04:42,730
Oh, stock market?
104
00:04:43,170 --> 00:04:49,270
But... Well, don't worry. You can tell
me anything. I would never repeat
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anything to Jessica.
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00:04:51,830 --> 00:04:53,280
Well... The other night.
107
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She came home. I had finished the
laundry. I had made brownies. Julia was
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asleep. But is that good enough for her?
No, she still yelled at me. She yelled
109
00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:04,660
at you? And spits.
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00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,020
She spits on you?
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00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:11,860
Not on purpose. She spits when she
talks.
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It's funny. Most of what she says goes
over my head, but her spit goes right in
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my eye.
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Have you ever tried to talk to her about
the way she treats you? Oh, no, no. I'd
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never say anything.
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At my age, I'm lucky to have a job.
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But you're a person.
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You deserve to be treated with respect.
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If Jessica wants everything to be
perfect, maybe she should do some things
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herself, you know?
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It wouldn't kill her every once in a
while to drop her Prada bag and pick up
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child.
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00:05:41,930 --> 00:05:44,430
I really don't think we should gossip
anymore about Jessica.
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00:05:46,270 --> 00:05:49,390
I'll just say she has fake boobs and
that'll be it.
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00:05:55,210 --> 00:05:56,450
Uh -oh, I think she's back.
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00:05:56,930 --> 00:05:57,849
That's funny.
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I didn't hear her broom or the
screeching of her flying monkeys.
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Hello. Hi, Kim.
129
00:06:05,370 --> 00:06:08,530
I hope the kids had a nice time together
again. Yeah, they got along great.
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Good.
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00:06:11,550 --> 00:06:15,410
Sylvia, why aren't you ready to go? I
told you that I would be back at three.
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I'm sorry, I'm just getting Julia's toys
together.
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Sylvia, that's not Julia's.
134
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Are you sure?
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Julia's a teddy bear.
136
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Every child has a teddy bear.
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Look, just go get Julia, okay? And I'll
take care of this.
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I
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didn't know she
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had to be ready to go at three.
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00:06:41,870 --> 00:06:45,450
Yeah, well, that's my mistake. I should
have told you instead of her.
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Everything I say goes in one ear and out
the other.
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00:06:49,110 --> 00:06:50,110
Huh.
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Maybe if you said it a little nicer.
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Excuse me?
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It's not really any of my business, but
it just seems like Sylvia tries very
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hard and you don't really appreciate
that.
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00:07:00,570 --> 00:07:02,490
Look, you don't know what you're talking
about.
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Really?
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Because I think I do.
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00:07:05,990 --> 00:07:08,950
I know that if Sylvia were my nanny, I
would treat her with respect so she
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wasn't constantly worried she was going
to get yelled at.
153
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Oh, she told you I yell at her, huh?
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Wow, you guys really bonded.
155
00:07:18,310 --> 00:07:19,830
Let's just say I speak her language.
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It's a magic language filled with words
like please and thank you.
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Okay.
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00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:30,640
Sylvia, please stop talking about me
behind my back.
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Unless you have another job lined up
that I don't know about.
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Thank you.
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Sylvia, put Julia down.
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What? Here.
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You deserve to be treated better.
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You mean you're actually going to hire
her? I'm going to ask her, one person to
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another. Sylvia, would you like to work
for me? Yes, please.
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00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:05,040
Fine. I hope you two will be very happy
together.
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00:08:05,380 --> 00:08:08,960
Oh, we will. Because I'll treat her a
lot nicer than you did. You can lead a
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disrespectful, self -important snob.
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00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:13,620
Bye -bye, sweetie pie. We'll see you in
school.
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00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:23,380
You hired a nanny? Yeah, I wasn't really
planning on it. It sort of happened.
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00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:25,320
Well, since when do we need a nanny?
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00:08:25,540 --> 00:08:29,000
We don't really need one. Then what are
you doing? Don't we have enough people
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that we don't need hanging around this
house?
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I felt bad for her. She was miserable.
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And don't worry, I'll find plenty of
stuff for her to do.
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Trust me, it'll make all our lives
easier.
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Don't touch the phone. I'll get it. It's
my job now.
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Hello?
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00:08:50,220 --> 00:08:51,220
You have a friend in Brazil?
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00:08:51,860 --> 00:08:53,340
No. Oh.
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What a curious mystery.
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Yes, we'll accept the charges.
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I'll get that.
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Larry? Sammy.
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00:09:02,420 --> 00:09:04,100
Sammy? Hang up with Brazil.
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00:09:04,360 --> 00:09:05,460
Hang up with Brazil.
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00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:11,160
Hey.
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00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:13,600
Hey, Dominic. Hey, there's my Charlie.
189
00:09:13,860 --> 00:09:15,020
Hey, how you guys getting along?
190
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Great. He even knows my voice.
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00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:18,640
Don't you, boys?
192
00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:26,280
You got yourself your own little lassie
there. What else does he do?
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He can fetch. Watch this.
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Charlie, fetch.
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I wouldn't fall down any wells if
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I were you.
197
00:09:45,260 --> 00:09:46,260
Hi, Kim.
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00:09:46,380 --> 00:09:47,380
Hi, Sylvia.
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00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:49,399
Where's Sammy?
200
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:52,000
Oh, he's been sleeping like an angel
ever since you left.
201
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,060
You let him nap for six hours?
202
00:09:55,380 --> 00:09:59,080
Yeah. Oh, he woke up a couple of times,
but I rubbed his back and he went to
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00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:00,080
sleep again.
204
00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:02,740
Sylvia, he'll be up all night now.
205
00:10:03,100 --> 00:10:04,100
I'm sorry.
206
00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:06,380
He just looks so cute sleeping.
207
00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:10,400
Don't worry about it. I need to start
dinner.
208
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:12,560
Oh, no, no, no, no. You relax.
209
00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:13,880
I'll make dinner.
210
00:10:14,060 --> 00:10:15,640
Oh. Okay, great.
211
00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:18,740
I should wake Sammy anyway. There's some
leftover chicken you can heat up.
212
00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:20,440
Uh -oh.
213
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,260
What? Oh, I ate it for lunch.
214
00:10:25,900 --> 00:10:28,960
The rest of it I accidentally dropped
into a bucket of floor cleaner.
215
00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:33,260
It might still be good. It smells like
lemon.
216
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:38,500
I could try some, and if it doesn't kill
me, then you can eat it.
217
00:10:44,680 --> 00:10:48,980
No, no, no, no, it's okay. I'm pregnant.
My doctor told me I should stay away
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00:10:48,980 --> 00:10:50,700
from caffeine and household poisons.
219
00:10:55,660 --> 00:10:56,419
Hi, Christine.
220
00:10:56,420 --> 00:10:57,520
Hey, Sylvia.
221
00:10:57,780 --> 00:11:02,420
Um, you know, I just noticed that Kim
left this dirty laundry out in the guest
222
00:11:02,420 --> 00:11:03,420
house.
223
00:11:03,580 --> 00:11:09,160
So, um, I guess she wants you to wash,
dry, and fold it, and then, you know,
224
00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:10,160
it back in the guest house.
225
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:18,460
Okay, I better do it right away, or Kim
will yell at me again.
226
00:11:19,020 --> 00:11:20,020
Kim yells at you?
227
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:23,640
Look, I shouldn't gossip about Kim.
228
00:11:25,930 --> 00:11:29,910
I'll just mention I suspect she had
Botox and leave it at that.
229
00:11:34,570 --> 00:11:36,410
Well, what is she mad about?
230
00:11:36,750 --> 00:11:37,750
Who knows?
231
00:11:37,870 --> 00:11:39,850
I put Sammy down for his nap.
232
00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:41,250
I cleaned the floor.
233
00:11:41,510 --> 00:11:44,850
I even made brownies. But is that good
enough for her? No.
234
00:11:46,590 --> 00:11:48,290
You made brownies?
235
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:50,250
Yeah.
236
00:11:50,950 --> 00:11:53,810
They're fresh in the oven. Oh, wow.
Thank you.
237
00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:28,050
cat's getting it on?
238
00:12:31,910 --> 00:12:33,410
With what, a deli slicer?
239
00:12:35,910 --> 00:12:36,970
Oh, no.
240
00:12:38,290 --> 00:12:39,870
I forgot about the dog.
241
00:12:40,310 --> 00:12:42,590
He was barking, so I put him out last
night.
242
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:44,930
I don't know if they got him doused by
the sprinklers.
243
00:12:45,510 --> 00:12:46,710
Hey, there's Charlie.
244
00:12:49,050 --> 00:12:50,370
What's wrong with him?
245
00:12:51,190 --> 00:12:54,850
Well, uh, sweetie, he got a little wet.
I think he might be broken.
246
00:12:55,170 --> 00:12:56,170
Oh.
247
00:12:56,590 --> 00:13:00,410
Look, it's okay. We'll just get a new
one. I don't want another one. I want
248
00:13:00,410 --> 00:13:01,410
real Charles.
249
00:13:01,690 --> 00:13:05,330
You know what? We'll leave him out here
in the sun, and maybe he'll be fine.
250
00:13:05,630 --> 00:13:07,790
How did he get outside in the first
place?
251
00:13:12,970 --> 00:13:17,190
I think the more important question is,
who wants a big, giant lollipop?
252
00:13:22,070 --> 00:13:23,730
Hi, Sylvia. Sorry I'm late.
253
00:13:29,580 --> 00:13:31,580
the old fruits and vegetables in the
garbage disposal?
254
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,840
The garbage disposal is on this side of
the sink.
255
00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:39,160
Oh.
256
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:43,280
Well, this is really going to stink in a
couple of days.
257
00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:47,380
Where's Sammy? It's past his bedtime.
258
00:13:47,580 --> 00:13:49,240
I already did that.
259
00:13:50,420 --> 00:13:53,520
Really? Don't worry. He's out like a
light.
260
00:14:03,500 --> 00:14:05,100
Yeah, he probably wants another Coke.
261
00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:07,460
You gave him a Coke?
262
00:14:10,940 --> 00:14:12,600
He didn't like the Mountain Dew.
263
00:14:14,340 --> 00:14:18,540
Sylvia, you can't give him stuff with
caffeine in it. God, he'll be up all...
264
00:14:18,540 --> 00:14:28,940
Did
265
00:14:28,940 --> 00:14:30,940
you have a little trouble vacuuming
today?
266
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:33,940
I was trying to get a spider off the
grapes.
267
00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:37,080
Why don't you just use a tissue to kill
it?
268
00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:39,040
I didn't want to leave a smudge.
269
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:45,840
Look, just take Sammy upstairs and put
him in his bed. I'll be up in a second.
270
00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:50,360
Hey, Sylvia, how's it going?
271
00:14:50,620 --> 00:14:52,000
I can't talk now, Mr. Warner.
272
00:14:52,460 --> 00:14:53,460
Busy, busy.
273
00:14:56,100 --> 00:14:59,640
Well, I guess it must be nice having a
second set of hands around, huh?
274
00:15:03,210 --> 00:15:04,470
What the hell is she trying to do?
275
00:15:04,710 --> 00:15:05,710
Kill a spider.
276
00:15:05,750 --> 00:15:06,750
Did she get it?
277
00:15:11,930 --> 00:15:13,370
She is the worst, Greg.
278
00:15:13,590 --> 00:15:15,090
I can't trust her to do anything.
279
00:15:15,390 --> 00:15:17,550
I'm never leaving Sammy alone with her
again.
280
00:15:17,830 --> 00:15:21,290
Oh, come on. Look, Kim, if she's that
bad, then fire her. We never needed a
281
00:15:21,290 --> 00:15:22,330
nanny in the first place.
282
00:15:22,550 --> 00:15:23,690
I can't fire her.
283
00:15:23,910 --> 00:15:24,569
Why not?
284
00:15:24,570 --> 00:15:25,850
I just can't.
285
00:15:26,070 --> 00:15:29,010
She needs the money and she needs the
activity. This is all...
286
00:15:29,810 --> 00:15:33,730
Kim, this isn't personal. This is
business. She is an employee. If she's
287
00:15:33,730 --> 00:15:35,290
working out, then let her go.
288
00:15:35,530 --> 00:15:38,170
Well, if you think it's so easy to go in
there and fire her, then why don't you
289
00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:39,170
do it? I will.
290
00:15:39,390 --> 00:15:41,530
I'm a businessman. I do this sort of
thing every day.
291
00:15:41,950 --> 00:15:44,870
People don't mind being fired as long as
they're treated with honesty and
292
00:15:44,870 --> 00:15:48,570
respect. You just have to never look
them in the eye because then you remind
293
00:15:48,570 --> 00:15:49,570
that they're actually a person.
294
00:15:51,730 --> 00:15:53,110
Sylvia, can I get a word with you?
295
00:15:53,550 --> 00:15:54,550
Yes.
296
00:15:55,410 --> 00:15:58,770
You see, me and Kim never had a nanny
before, and...
297
00:15:59,210 --> 00:16:03,550
Up until the other day, we never really
thought we needed one, but you were
298
00:16:03,550 --> 00:16:10,310
here, and we were in a situation
where... What are you
299
00:16:10,310 --> 00:16:12,090
doing? You spilled on yourself.
300
00:16:12,370 --> 00:16:13,370
Did I?
301
00:16:13,410 --> 00:16:14,970
Oh, you're just like my son.
302
00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:17,790
All grown up, and you still need a bib.
303
00:16:19,250 --> 00:16:21,350
You remind me of him, you know? Right.
304
00:16:21,750 --> 00:16:23,090
Smart, handsome.
305
00:16:24,090 --> 00:16:25,530
Oh, thank you.
306
00:16:26,670 --> 00:16:28,610
Oh, I'm sorry. You were in the middle of
something?
307
00:16:29,050 --> 00:16:35,890
No, it was just... I was just... I was
just... Don't work so hard.
308
00:16:40,190 --> 00:16:42,810
I looked in her eyes. Damn it! I looked
in her eyes!
309
00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:46,450
Come on, Charlie, you can do it. Fetch!
310
00:16:51,570 --> 00:16:52,570
Hey, Dominic.
311
00:16:53,510 --> 00:16:54,510
How's Charlie?
312
00:17:03,080 --> 00:17:04,079
Doesn't look so good.
313
00:17:04,079 --> 00:17:06,280
I know, but I'm hoping them get better.
314
00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:11,380
Dominic, honey, I don't think you should
be playing with a toy that's electronic
315
00:17:11,380 --> 00:17:12,680
that's not working right.
316
00:17:12,980 --> 00:17:14,140
You know, I mean, you could get shocked.
317
00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:17,140
Yeah, remember when I used a fork to pop
the toaster up?
318
00:17:18,619 --> 00:17:22,619
And for three seconds, I literally was
unable to Lego my Echo.
319
00:17:26,640 --> 00:17:29,740
Dominic, honey, I think it's time to
take his batteries out.
320
00:17:29,940 --> 00:17:31,880
No, you can't. That'll kill him.
321
00:17:32,380 --> 00:17:34,420
Oh, but isn't that better than making
him suffer?
322
00:17:35,180 --> 00:17:39,360
You know, don't you think it's best that
we give Charlie a place where he can go
323
00:17:39,360 --> 00:17:40,500
and be happy and peaceful?
324
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:45,020
Part of growing up means that you've got
to be brave enough to let something go.
325
00:17:48,020 --> 00:17:49,020
Goodbye, boy.
326
00:17:51,120 --> 00:17:52,120
Come on.
327
00:18:08,260 --> 00:18:09,460
Charlie? Oh, Charlie.
328
00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:13,040
You in there, buddy?
329
00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:15,320
You in there?
330
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:23,340
You still got some
331
00:18:23,340 --> 00:18:24,340
fun in you, don't you, buddy?
332
00:18:42,730 --> 00:18:43,549
Hey, Kim.
333
00:18:43,550 --> 00:18:44,610
Having a rough day?
334
00:18:45,330 --> 00:18:49,270
God, I have this nanny who is driving me
crazy. She can't cook, she can't clean.
335
00:18:49,310 --> 00:18:51,050
I can't even trust her alone with my
son.
336
00:18:52,310 --> 00:18:53,310
Not Sylvia.
337
00:18:57,130 --> 00:18:59,310
Yes, Sylvia. You know her?
338
00:18:59,550 --> 00:19:00,690
Oh, you poor thing.
339
00:19:01,170 --> 00:19:04,310
I had Sylvia three months ago. She was
awful.
340
00:19:04,630 --> 00:19:08,370
But I felt so bad for the poor old
woman, I couldn't bring myself to fire
341
00:19:08,990 --> 00:19:12,480
Oh, my God, me too. How did you get rid
of her? Please, I'll pay you. Tell me
342
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:13,480
how you got rid of her.
343
00:19:14,300 --> 00:19:18,820
I passed her off on Ellie, and then
Ellie tricked Anne -Marie into taking
344
00:19:19,060 --> 00:19:24,380
And somehow, Anne -Marie passed her off
on Rosemary, who I think dumped her on
345
00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:25,380
Tina.
346
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,240
Last I heard, she was with Jessica.
347
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:30,640
You.
348
00:19:32,920 --> 00:19:35,300
I'm sorry. I am so sorry.
349
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:37,480
I had to do something, though.
350
00:19:37,740 --> 00:19:38,840
I mean, she was awful.
351
00:19:39,310 --> 00:19:43,030
You ponder off on me? You were the only
mother in class who hadn't had her yet.
352
00:19:45,170 --> 00:19:46,770
That is just sick.
353
00:19:47,170 --> 00:19:50,950
How could you just pass this woman off
onto an innocent, unsuspecting person?
354
00:19:52,010 --> 00:19:53,450
It's cowardly and wrong.
355
00:19:54,550 --> 00:19:57,190
What's the matter with you people? You
should be ashamed of yourself.
356
00:19:57,750 --> 00:19:59,770
And these are some of the other moms.
357
00:20:00,190 --> 00:20:02,910
I'm sure they can probably tell you more
about the school than I can.
358
00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:05,550
Ladies, this is Yvonne and her son
Jacob.
359
00:20:05,770 --> 00:20:06,890
They just moved here.
360
00:20:07,730 --> 00:20:09,020
You're new. in town.
361
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:13,420
We should set up a play date.
26097
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