All language subtitles for Yes Dear s02e21 The Ring

Hey, honey, how was school?

Oh, feet are killing me from walking all
over campus.

I offered a guy in a wheelchair a lap
dance just to give me a ride to the car.

Come over, sit here by me, and I'll make
you feel better. Oh, nice.

What the hell are you doing?

Come on, Jimmy, just give him a little
rub. No, Christina, you know how I am

with feet.

Like, they get sweaty, and then stuff
gets...

Stuck between the toes and... See what
you did?

Fine. Fine. You know what?

Next time you want me to do something
I'm not in the mood to do, I'm not going

to do it.

You don't rub Kim's feet, do you?

Oh, yeah. When we were dating, I used to
massage her feet for hours.

Really? Because I've never seen you do
it. Well, we're married now. I mean, you

don't see me writing love poems or
getting out of the shower to pee either.

Long day, huh?

Oh, there you are. Couldn't wait to get
home and wrap my arms around you.

Hi,

I love you.

I bet your feet are killing you.

Hey, don't please me, all right? No,
look, I felt bad about yesterday, so I

something for you.

Take a look at this.

What is that?

That is the Podia Pool 8000.

32 jets that deliver tingling micro
-bubble aeration.

It's like having thousands of little
fingers massage your feet. And the best

part is, none of them are mine.

Jimmy, I'm not using that, okay? It's
for old ladies.

Come on, Christine. Look at the woman on
the box. She seems to be enjoying it.

Jimmy, she's 90. She's just happy that
her feet are wet on purpose.

Come on, will you just give it a try?
What's the worst that could happen?

Well, let's see. There's water. There's
electricity.

So, um, that would be, uh...

Death?

Christine, they wouldn't sell something
that wasn't absolutely safe.

Said the man who drove me around while I
was pregnant in a Pinto.

Hey, that was a good car.

And besides, if it wasn't for that back
seat that folded down, you wouldn't have

been pregnant in the first place, all
right?

Try it.

Oh, wow.

Oh, wow.

Well?

It's pretty good, huh?

Yeah. See, this is what a marriage is
all about. It's like you have a need,

I find a way to take care of it.

Yep.

And sometimes I don't think you give me
enough credit. It's like, there you

were, just ready to tee off. You all
stop talking. You're going to ruin this

me.

It's like we're in that backseat of that
Pinto again.

Don't forget to put down the TV in the
bedroom and that new laptop computer you

got. Hey, what are you guys doing?

Making an inventory list of all the
valuables we have in the house.

Hey, I told you before, I'm no thief.

If something's missing, you might want
to check Christine's closet.

We're switching our homeowner's
insurance.

Oh. Hey, so, uh, how does this whole
homeowner's insurance work, anyway?

Well, it's really very simple. First,
you go out and buy a house.

You know what? Why don't you go do that
and then I'll explain the rest to you.

They want to see an appraisal of my
engagement ring.

Well, it's probably out with all that
paperwork in the garage.

Well, you want to go get it?

No, you can go get it.

You don't mind if I see how much you
paid for my engagement ring?

Kim, what are you going to leave me if I
didn't spend enough?

We've been married six years. We have a
child together.

You need my help to reach anything above
the bottom shelf.

But if you didn't spend enough, I'm
buying a stepstool and throwing you out

your ass.

Oh, my God, I can't believe this just
fell into my lap.

What? Well, she's going to finally see
how much that ring cost.

It's about time I got credit for how
much I spent.

I didn't have to spend a lot of money on
Christine's ring. Why is that?

Well, you know, they say you're supposed
to spend two months' salary.

Lucky for me, I wasn't working at the
time.

Wow.

What in the world was that for?

I can't believe how much money you spent
on this ring.

Well, that's how much you meant to me.

Not even like you bought it at some
discount store where you got a deal.

the best jewelry store in D .C.

I know.

The best for the best.

Greg?

Yeah, honey?

When did you buy this ring?

What's that?

The receipt says you bought this ring
two years before you met me.

Well, that's ridiculous. How would they
know when I met you?

Greg, what's going on?

Okay, so I bought you a very, very
expensive ring before I met you. I mean,

whoop.

Why would you buy a ring before you...

No, I didn't. That's your engagement
ring. I didn't even ask her.

Kim, I didn't. I came straight home from
the jeweler's. I was going to ask her

for her hand, but it was already busy in
my roommate's pants.

Well, Greg, why didn't you just return
it? Because it was for jewelry store

credit only, and I'm not Mr. T.

Besides, it was a beautiful ring, and I
knew I would get married someday.

I can't believe you bought an engagement
ring for someone else and tried to fool

me by having Kim engraved in it. Kim, I
would never try to fool you. I didn't

have Kim engraved in it. Her name was
Kelly Irene Maynard.

It's a miracle, really, when you think
about it.

What are you doing?

I don't want it.

Kim, you're being ridiculous.

I'm not wearing someone else's ring.

Well, now what am I supposed to do?

Well... Very simple. First, you try not
to be a cheap bastard.

You know what?

Why don't you go do that? Then I'll
explain the rest to you.

Hey, the kids are asleep.

Ah, in for another dip.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Do you want to know how to take
care of my baby?

Huh?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah?

Well, what do you say I turn down the
lights and massage the rest of you?

And when I say the rest of you, I don't
really mean the rest of you.

I mean a couple of strategic locations.

And when I say strategic locations, I
don't really mean... No, no, no, no, no,

get it, I get it.

All right, why don't you get your feet
out of that thing and come on over here.

But the water just got nice and warm.

And, you know, actually, the acupressure
jets, they haven't finished their full

cycle yet.

Christine, okay, I gave the kids their
bath.

I did a load of laundry. I don't know
about you, but I consider that foreplay.

Hello.

What are you doing?

Nothing. You were looking at the foot
bath.

No, I wasn't. You were, too.

Well, it's only because my feet still
hurt.

Fine.

I'll do it.

To what? I'll touch them. I'll touch
your feet.

Really? Yes, give them to me. I'll give
them a rub.

I'm not going to let some machine come
in here and steal my woman.

Again.

Just put them up here. Let's do this.

Okay.

Hey, it's not so bad.

Kind of like grabbing hold of a long
hand with stubby fingers.

This is all right.

Yeah.

Hey, see? We don't need that stupid
machine anymore.

Huh? How's that feel?

Great.

You can't just spring this kind of thing
on a girl. I need time to think about

it.

Shut up.

Okay, I do.

Now listen, that's all you're getting
until our wedding night. I don't know

you've heard about me, but I'm a good
girl.

Will you marry me?

What did you do?

I'm making up for a mistake I made a
long time ago. I should have never given

you that ring. You bought me my own
ring?

Well, technically, he tried to give it
to me first.

Shut up!

Will you marry me?

Yes.

This is the same ring. I know.

exactly like it no thanks what i don't
want it i

don't want to wear a ring that reminds
me of one that you bought for another

girl but you love that ring i figured
you'd want one just like it one that i

bought for you sorry i don't well fine
why don't you tell me what kind of ring

you want and i'll go out tomorrow and
buy it or better yet come with me pick

out and i'll pay for it you just don't
get it do you no no i don't i

I never know what the hell is going on.

We've been married all this time and
you're just figuring that out?

Apparently you don't get it either,
lady.

Greg, Greg, Greg.

Women are different. The normal person
would just tell me what she wants. And

then you would do it.

Exactly. And then she'd think the only
reason you did it is because she told

to do it.

She doesn't want that.

What? One year I drove a shuttle bus at
Lillith Fair.

Sweaty today.

Weird.

What?

You were using the foot bath again.

I wasn't using it. I just took a quick
dip.

The water is boiling hot, okay? The cord
is warm. How long have you been using

this thing?

Only since... What time did you leave
for work?

Okay, that's it, okay? You'd rather be
with that thing than with me? I want it

out of our house. No, Jimmy, please.

I'm sorry, Christine, but this has got
to...

Oh, good.

It can't be that good. Oh, oh, it is.

Better than me?

Oh!

It's my fault! I brought that thing into
our house!

Well,

I have an idea.

What? Well, um, maybe we could, you
know, use it together.

You mean like a threesome?

Yeah, if that's what you want to call
it. Yeah.

Yeah, I think that's what I want to call
it.

I mean, it's the closest I'm ever going
to get to one.

Well, come on. Give it a try.

Okay.

I feel a little weird about this. I
mean, it's like we're bringing an

into our relationship. I mean, what
exactly does that mean? I mean, it just

seems kind of creepy and strange.

Oh.

Oh, my God.

I told you.

Come on in.

Oh, yeah.

Ew,

that's gross.

Oh, honey, we're just soaking our feet.

But why are you soaking them in the new
potty?

This isn't a potty.

Logan thought it was.

I give up on this whole engagement ring
thing. I don't know what you want.

All I know is you can't tell me what you
want or else you won't get what you

want. I thought I married a woman. Turns
out I married a Rubik's Cube.

You didn't even try.

Didn't even try?

Didn't even try? What do you think I've
been doing all weekend?

I've been to jewelry stores in every
mall, Beverly Hills, even went downtown

the Diamond District.

I've looked through every filthy
eyepiece in the city.

A diamond may last forever, but I'm
going to have pink eye for at least a

You went to all those places?

Yeah, because I was trying to find you
the perfect ring, and I found a great

one, but the band was gold, and I
thought you'd won platinum.

Then I found one where the diamond was
square, and I thought maybe you'd want

to be round. And then I found one with
good color, but I thought you would care

more about clarity.

Kim, I'm sorry. I have no idea what you
want.

I already got what I want.

What?

I loved my old engagement ring.

Not because of what it looked like.

Not because of the band or the cut or
the clarity.

I loved it because every time I looked
at it, I pictured you searching for the

ring you thought would be perfect for
me.

This weekend, you finally did it.

That was all I wanted.

Now that I have that.

Any ring you give me will be fine.

Well, in that case, will you marry me?

Greg, if I open this box and

you're trying to give me the same ring
for the third time,

I'm going to be furious.

I'll give you a thousand dollars if you
give me that box back.

I can't believe he's not back from the
jewelry store yet.

I thought it wasn't about the ring, Zsa
Zsa.

It's not.

It's the thought.

The thought that I'm getting a big
diamond ring today.

I bet it's going to be huge. Oh, I don't
care about that.

I just hope the clarity's good.

What do you mean?

Oh, I just hope that it doesn't have any
flaws.

At least to the naked eye.

I hope it's not some cheap diamond with
a lot of black spots in it.

Like this?

Well, it's the...

Well,

hello, ladies.

And who is this charming woman?

She must be single. I don't see a ring
on her finger.

Well, you know, I've been waiting for
the right opportunity to come up.

And I'm waiting for my lunch to come up.
Can we see the ring, please?

Yes.

Remember how I said I was looking for
the perfect ring?

Yeah. Well, it doesn't exist.

And I realized if I wanted you to have
the perfect ring, I would have to design

it myself.

You're kidding me. You designed a ring
yourself?

Yeah, you know, like Brad Pitt did with
Jennifer Aniston.

I can't believe I'm getting a ring
designed especially for me.

This is the sweetest thing anybody's
ever... Oh!

Yeah, look. It has six little...

garnets in it because January's
birthstone is garnet and you were born

6th and the two diamonds in the middle,
one's yellow and one's blue because we

met in college and that was our school
colors.

Yeah.

Sure. Of course they were.

What do you think about the band?

Oh, oh.

You got it engraved on the out... Side.

Yeah.

That way you don't have to take it off
to read it.

Go ahead. Read it.

Te amo bonita muchacha.

Yeah, because we had that Spanish class
together, remember?

What do you think? It's one of a kind.
The jeweler promised me that he'd never

make another one like it.

I'm going to go. get the camera. We'll
take a picture and you can send it to

your mother.

Well, at least it doesn't have any of
those big, ugly, black... Shut up!

And the next item up for sale on the
National Shopping Network.

Wow, this is unbelievable.

We have one of the rarest of all jewels,
the South African... leopard diamond.

One of the world's most precious stones.

They are in short supply all over the
world making them extremely sought

We have only 30 left at this one time
only price of $89.