All language subtitles for Yes Dear s02e02 Christmas Journey

It's so great of you guys to have us
over.

Yeah, well, we figured you've got kids,
we've got kids, and misery loves

company.

Hey, did I tell you guys about the new
program I'm doing?

Oh, you're going on a diet? Good for
you.

No?

Good, because I was going to say, you're
practically skin and bones.

What's the program?

Oh, it's something I'm doing with Marsha
and Jessica. You know them.

A couple days a week, one of us takes
the kids so the rest of us can have a

mornings to ourselves.

Would you guys be interested?

Are you kidding?

I haven't had a morning away from the
kids since... Well, since that morning

Jimmy and I made the kids.

It sounds great. I'll just need to talk
to the other mothers first, make sure

everyone knows Sammy's allergic to
peanuts. Of course.

Oh, yeah, and you have to keep my kid
away from dogs.

Oh, he has allergies, too? Oh, he's just
a curious kid. He tends to yank on

things that should be yanked on.

Except, of course, by another consenting
dog.

So you live right there in the guest
house, huh? Yeah, it's just that we get

our feet. Yeah, right. Fish will get on
their feet before you.

Dad, Dad, can you do the rocket zip with
me again?

Sure thing, buddy.

Three, two, one, to the moon!

Daddy, can we play rocket ship?

Uh, gee, I don't know if Rob can lift
both of us.

All right, buddy, let's give it a shot.
Ready?

Three, two, one, to the... Ah!

Ride's over.

Ride's over.

I think the rocket ship just ruptured
its payload.

Can you give me a ride?

It's your thing, buddy.

My turn.

Did you see that? Sam went straight to
him. He doesn't even think his own

can throw him up in the air. Well, so go
over there and throw him in the air.

What, are you kidding me? I'm exhausted.

Almost blacked out during the tickle
fight.

Logan, if you want to play, get in line
behind Sammy.

Don't you find it sad that another man
has to play with our children?

What's really sad is if I don't get some
feeling back soon, another man's going

to have to play with my wife.

No, I'm serious. I should be in better
shape.

I think I might start lifting some
weights.

What's so funny? Well, nothing. I just
got this image of the skinny guy in the

circus when he tries to act like the
strong man.

But that's got nothing to do with you.

What's going on? Oh, Greg is going to
start lifting weights, and there's

funny about that.

Well, I'm sure there isn't. I mean,
Greg's a regular guy. I'm sure he could

lift.

I'm sorry, Greg. I tried.

You're picturing the skinny guy in the
circus? Yeah.

Oh, you dropped the kids off at
Marsha's?

Yeah, it was a whole thing. It was
tears.

Please don't go. When are you going to
be back?

You'd think Marsha could suck it up a
little.

So what do you guys have planned for
your kid -free day?

Absolutely nothing.

Actually, I called my old graphic design
firm and offered to do some freelance

work. Why?

I thought it would be fun to have a
project.

Makes me feel good to use my brain and
accomplish something.

Gives me a sense of self -satisfaction.

You're a needy little thing, aren't you?

All right, I'll make sure somebody wakes
me up for dinner.

Wow.

One day at the gym, you're already
looking buff, huh? Yeah. Wow.

What is this, like the world's thickest
sweatshirt?

They keep the gym a little chilly.

How was your first workout?

Great. Geez, Greg, looks like you hardly
broke a sweat. How long were you gone?

About a half hour?

Well, it was my first time out, so I was
just getting the lay of the land, you

know, trial run, baby steps.

Did you use free weights or machines?

Oh, I did a couple of machines.

I tried this machine for a while, and I
did a little bit on this machine, and I

was going to try this machine, but my
smoothie was ready.

You ever had papaya and mango? Oh, very
refreshing.

So counting the membership fee, you
basically bought a $300 milkshake. Kim,

a smoothie. It doesn't have ice cream.

It has sherbet.

I think a little bit of kiwi.

And you say getting my legs waxed is a
waste of money.

It just grows back thicker. That's all
I'm saying.

What?

No, they say the first time you go back
to the gym, you're not supposed to

overdo it. Yeah, but you are supposed to
do it.

Look, I'm just getting used to it, okay?
There's a lot of new machines and

contraptions since the last time I've
been to the gym.

Who knows? I might get a personal
trainer.

What are you crazy? Don't go wasting
money on a personal trainer.

All they do is charge you 50 bucks an
hour and stand next to you and count.

If all you need is some motivation, I
can do that for free.

Well, I'm sure you can motivate me. It's
the counting I'm worried about.

Come on, man. Give me a shot, okay?
You'll let me live in your house for

Let me help you out, save you some money
here. Well, why not? I mean, what do I

have to lose?

You do know something about weights,
right? Are you kidding me?

That's all I did in high school. You
think I got these guns from reading

I don't think you got anything from
reading books.

So what are you up to?

Just finishing my assignment.

You want to do something?

Yeah. I want to finish my assignment.

Oh.

Isn't your Jerry Springer show on? I'm
sure there's some odd freakish people on

there that'll make you feel good about
yourself.

Hey, I don't need to watch a bunch of
idiots throwing chairs at each other to

feel good about myself.

Plus, you know, the show sucks since
they bolted the chairs down.

Well, maybe you should take up a hobby
or something.

Last time someone suggested I do that, I
ended up with two kids.

Look, I really have to finish this
project.

Why don't you leave me alone for half an
hour, then I promise I'll do something

with you.

Hey, you don't have to talk to me like
that, okay? I'm not a child.

You know what?

I'll find something to do on my own.

I'm ready for you to take a step back.
Can we put at least a foot between my

head and your crotch?

I have to spot you. Well, unfortunately,
I can spot you.

All right, buddy, let's go. Okay, just a
few sets of ten. Here we go.

Ten.

Nine. Nice.

Eight.

Oh, what's the matter? Too heavy for
you, Greggy? Come on, push it up. Jimmy,

get this off my chest.

Come on, be a man. Don't be a wuss.

Shh, keep your voice down. There's girls
around.

I'm looking at one right now. Come on,
push it up.

Come on, come on, come on. All right,
buddy.

Way to go, man.

Just a couple more steps, then we'll
move on the shoulders.

What the hell do you think you're doing?

I'm trying to make you big and strong.

Well, let me know when I'm strong enough
to kill you with my bare hands.

All right, all right. Maybe I was
overdoing it. We'll go a little slower

now. All right, what do you say? Give me
one more try?

All right.

Chill out.

Sure thing.

This time, give me a little hand with
the weights. Oh, you got it, pal.

I'll give you a little help because God
knows...

Excuse me.

Ladies.

I'm kidding.

That last piece of broccoli, you're not
getting any dessert.

What's for dessert?

Your Aunt Kim made a sugar -free peach
cobbler.

I'll pass.

So, I'm thinking about taking Logan out
of this whole daycare thing.

Why? I don't know. I think he misses me.

I'm bored.

Hey, if you're bored, I could always
take an early lunch and come home for a

little, you know, biggity -bangity -bum.

You had me at biggity.

Christine, you can put this off now, but
eventually both your kids are going to

be in school and you're going to have
even more free time.

And do you have any idea what you're
going to do then?

I don't know.

Well, there isn't a crazy cat lady in
the neighborhood yet.

Maybe you could go to work.

Maybe you could go to hell.

Jimmy, do you care if your wife goes to
work?

That depends.

Do I still have to?

Yes.

Whatever.

I don't know. I guess getting a part
-time job isn't a bad idea.

Hey, I could go to one of those temp
agencies, right?

That'd be kind of fun.

Plus, with the extra money, we could
restart Dominic's college fund.

When are you going to let that go, okay?
The jackpot was $80 million.

Gotta spend money to make money, baby.

Okay, now we just need to see how fast
you can type.

Great. Ready?

Begin.

You were just typing gibberish.

Yeah, I should have told you.

I can't type.

That's okay.

I'm sure once I evaluate your written
exam, I'll be able to find the right job

for you.

Oh, great.

I think I did pretty well.

Actually, I've never really been good at
the math, but most of your good offices

have calculators nowadays, right?

Then hopefully I'll wind up in a good
office.

Actually, you know what? Any office is
fine, just as long as I don't end up in

one of those really small cubicles.

Turkey teeny weeny.

I took a teeny weenie today.

Like a teeny weenie?

Half the size, half the fat.

Enjoy it, ma 'am. They cook up in
minutes and they're sizzle -rific.

Hey, teeny weenie lady, how's business?

Jimmy, those are for the customers, not
for your lunch. Hey, don't rain on my

parade. This is the best job you've ever
had as far as I'm concerned.

I get to come here for a free lunch
every day and see you?

And every night, you come home smelling
like sausages.

Honey, don't you think it's a little sad
that I can be replaced by a sign that

says, please take one?

The sign is not as pretty and as
charming as you are. Look at you. You're

glowing. That's sausage grease. It
splatters up from the pan.

Listen, don't be so down on yourself.
This is an important job.

Seriously, the company counts on you to
spread the word about their product.

Without workers like you spreading the
word about their sausages, then there'd

be thousands of people at the factory
out of a job. So don't act like what you

do doesn't matter.

Thanks, Jimmy.

All right, I gotta get out of here. I'll
see you tonight.

And remember, don't take a shower.

How was your workout this morning with
Greg?

Oh, great. We did legs and glutes.

Glute? His butt. I'm giving him a
rounder, firmer butt.

Hey, buddy, you sore?

A little bit. Couldn't use the pedals on
my car.

Had to use cruise control in the
emergency brake all the way home.

How are the glutes?

Like two little coconuts.

Hey, guys. Hey, this is my hard -working
wife.

Chicken sausages with sun -dried tomato?

Man knows his meat.

What's all this?

I made dinner.

I thought we'd celebrate your new job
with my famous meatloaf.

Are those crushed up Pringles?

Eh, two cans. My lady's got a job.

Christine, how is the new job?

Great. Now that I quit.

Quit? Already?

What about the free meat?

Look, it was a crappy job.

I'll just go back to the tipping. You'll
get a better one.

I mean, that's why I did this whole
thing in the first place, right? To find

what it is I want to do.

Being a meat hostess, isn't it?

Well, honey, you know what? You'll
always be my meat hostess.

And you'll always be my teeny weeny.

God, please give my legs the strength to
walk out of here.

Rise and shine.

Rise and shine. Time to go work out.

Jimmy, what?

Time to go work out. I thought we'd get
an earlier start today.

No. Come on. Get up, Lacey. No.

I'm not getting up. In fact, I quit.
You're fired. Good night.

Fired? You can't do that. Sure I can.
Watch, I'll do it again. You're fired.

Night -night.

Well, you can't fire me. You're not even
paying me. I will give you a thousand

dollars to shut up.

I'll give you both a thousand dollars to
shut up.

All right, that's it. What? Let's go.
What are you doing? My job.

Oh, put me down.

Nope. Jimmy, put me down. You will thank
me later.

did. You made me bite someone. Are you
happy?

I think you broke the skin.

And on this body, that's not easy to do.

Jimmy, listen, I'm glad your heart's in
the right place, but I can't take it

anymore. I get up every morning. I'm
exhausted. My bones ache. I really have

stop. No, you can't stop. Look, I
appreciate you wanting me to be

I don't care about you.

What?

I don't care about you. I just need to
get out of the house in the morning.

Why?

Because stupid me told Christine for her
birthday present she could sleep in

late for a year while I made the kids
breakfast.

And I can't do it anymore.

I just can't. Jimmy, Christine's
birthday was ten days ago.

Have you seen my kids eat?

It's crazy.

Okay, one of them's got to have
scrambled eggs, the other one pancakes.

But the pancakes can't be too cooked or
you've got to start all over again. By

the time you get the pancakes just
right, the other ones have knocked the

to the floor and now you've got no eggs.

God, why couldn't I just remember to buy
her a gift?

I cannot believe you have been torturing
me so you can get out of helping with

your own kids.

You're a nutbag. I'm going back to bed.

What's happening?

Sammy's diaper leak. The meth up there.

Plus, now he's awake, so I guess our day
begins at 5 a .m.

I could use your help, Greg.

Yeah, well... We'll try to get back from
the gym as soon as possible. Come on,

let's go.

You're in your box. I look like my
shorts. Go, go, go.

I'm not some 18 -year -old kid who'll
just be happy with anything.

I'm serious about this. I want a job in
an office where I can use my brain,

where I have a future.

How about something in market research?

See, now that sounds perfect.

Would you say that you are very
satisfied, mostly satisfied?

Satisfied, not so satisfied, or
dissatisfied?

Yes, I'd love to repeat the question.

When it comes to the cheese that you
currently eat, would you say that you

very satisfied?

So this time you figured out you didn't
like the job in how long was it?

Three hours.

Geez, you didn't even make it to lunch.

Oh, then two hours.

I'm not giving the jobs enough time.

You guys just don't understand.

You don't have to go to a crappy job
every day.

Christine, what did you expect? I mean,
he didn't go to college.

Hey, some of us did not have the same
opportunities that other people had.

What are you talking about?

She's my sister. She had the same
opportunities that I did.

She just decided to spend her college
money on a two -week vacation in Mexico.

How in the world do you spend all your
college money on a vacation in Mexico?

I had to buy my way out, okay?

You guys, just forget it, all right?

I've made my choices, and maybe they
weren't the best, but this is my life

You know, you could go to college.

Oh, yeah, right.

Hey, don't laugh. She's right.

There's a lot of good jobs in colleges.

You could work in a library, or you
could sell hot dogs at the football

Oh, my God, you could smell like hot
dogs.

I meant go to college as a student. No,
Kim's right.

Rather than sit around and complain, you
should do something about it. I don't

know. I never really did that well in
school.

Christine, you were hardly ever in
school.

You were usually behind school.

She was really more of a teacher than a
student.

Yeah, and look where it got me, Jimmy. I
mean, I wouldn't have any of these

problems if I just worked a little
harder.

So work hard now.

You know what? You're right. I should go
to college, but I should have gone back

then. I can't go now.

I mean, it takes years, and it costs a
lot of money.

Christine, if this is going to make you
happy, then this is what you should do.

I mean, I can watch the kids if you need
me to. So can I. And with a degree, you

can get a great job, and you can do
anything you want. And as far as money

you know, we'll just stay with Kim and
Greg a little longer than we thought.

Then again, Bill Gates never got a
college degree. Greg!

No, Greg is right.

I mean, we've imposed it on you guys
enough already. Hey, come on. I'm only

joking. If you really want to go back to
school, it's all right by me.

Well, you guys haven't left me with any
more excuses, have you?

You know what?

I'm going to do it.

Scared the crap out of me, but I'm going
to go to college.

You're going to do great. Oh, of course
you are. And I'm going to be with you

every step of the way. I'm going to help
you study with the test. I will get

rides to work so you can take the car to
school. And I'll help whatever I can

with the kids whenever you need me to.

Just not in the mornings because, you
know, that's when Greg and I get that

thing.

Well,

we're here.

You ready?

Yep.

Don't forget to set the alarm.

Yeah, got it. How long do you want to
work out for?

I don't know, about an hour?

Let's make it an hour fifteen.

You're the trainer. Good night.