All language subtitles for The Suite Life on Deck s02e16 Any Given Fantasy
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1
00:00:01,640 --> 00:00:02,639
Is that hot?
2
00:00:04,920 --> 00:00:05,920
Hey, guys.
3
00:00:06,020 --> 00:00:08,200
I see you're tossing around the old cow
skin.
4
00:00:09,020 --> 00:00:10,140
You mean pig skin?
5
00:00:10,680 --> 00:00:15,600
Well, actually, while it's commonly
referred to as the pig skin, footballs
6
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:17,400
are made from premium cow hide.
7
00:00:18,980 --> 00:00:22,040
Well, whether it's pork or beef, you
still can't catch it.
8
00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:26,180
It's pointy.
9
00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:30,880
Wow, a chair can catch better than you.
10
00:00:32,420 --> 00:00:33,420
Cannot.
11
00:00:37,180 --> 00:00:38,180
See?
12
00:00:38,940 --> 00:00:44,520
Well, when you throw it like that...
Come on, guys, give me another chance.
13
00:00:44,820 --> 00:00:46,760
Okay, go long. How long? Peru.
14
00:00:50,220 --> 00:00:51,220
Hilarious.
15
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:55,080
Look, the chair can tackle, too.
16
00:00:55,400 --> 00:00:56,800
All right, let's play some ball.
17
00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:58,520
Here you go, buddy.
18
00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:00,720
Blue 42.
19
00:01:01,140 --> 00:01:02,140
Red 18.
20
00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:05,540
I got it, I got it, I got it.
21
00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:13,220
Nice catch, Mr. Mosby.
22
00:02:00,780 --> 00:02:01,738
Three people to shave.
23
00:02:01,740 --> 00:02:04,760
That is, if you shave, I got more hair
in my ear.
24
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:10,380
Okay. I can't grow facial hair. I can't
catch a football.
25
00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:12,320
Anyone else want to take a shot at me?
26
00:02:12,680 --> 00:02:14,500
Your cow folding is atrocious.
27
00:02:16,220 --> 00:02:19,560
This is a London cross fold. I mean,
what are we on, a pirate ship?
28
00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:26,440
Who cares about football anyway? It's
just a bunch of sweaty Neanderthals
29
00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:27,440
running into each other.
30
00:02:27,620 --> 00:02:29,520
Hey, I used to play football.
31
00:02:31,990 --> 00:02:36,210
I mean the upper Paleolithic
Neanderthals who invented tools and did
32
00:02:36,210 --> 00:02:37,850
beautiful cave paintings in Lascaux.
33
00:02:39,970 --> 00:02:43,290
I've seen those. I like how the mammoth
poop has stink lines.
34
00:02:46,350 --> 00:02:49,890
So the reason I'm upset is the guys
wouldn't let me play football.
35
00:02:50,430 --> 00:02:52,830
Really? Because I saw them playing with
a champ.
36
00:02:54,570 --> 00:02:57,570
Dang, you must stink like an armpit full
of cheese.
37
00:03:01,070 --> 00:03:02,070
Talk, Kirby.
38
00:03:04,630 --> 00:03:07,610
Cody, I'm going to put you through Kirby
Morris training camp.
39
00:03:07,990 --> 00:03:10,050
I'll have you playing like a pro.
40
00:03:10,770 --> 00:03:12,610
Or at least as good as that sheriff.
41
00:03:14,630 --> 00:03:15,770
All right, I'm in.
42
00:03:16,090 --> 00:03:17,630
Welcome to the pigskin pocket.
43
00:03:18,310 --> 00:03:19,570
You mean cow skin.
44
00:03:19,890 --> 00:03:21,370
Football's are made from cow leather.
45
00:03:21,590 --> 00:03:24,550
No, I mean pig skin. I always like to
celebrate with pork rinds.
46
00:03:25,950 --> 00:03:30,870
After you teach me about... football,
I'm going to teach you about the food
47
00:03:30,870 --> 00:03:32,290
pyramid. Food pyramid?
48
00:03:32,590 --> 00:03:34,830
Is that the philosopher's place with the
drive -thru window?
49
00:03:39,810 --> 00:03:40,810
Gentlemen,
50
00:03:44,730 --> 00:03:47,390
Zach's Fantasy Football League draft is
now underway.
51
00:03:47,930 --> 00:03:49,850
Mr. Mosby can't complain about this.
52
00:03:50,090 --> 00:03:53,910
Exactly. So with the first pick, the
seeing enemies pick quarterback...
53
00:04:16,579 --> 00:04:20,220
We get points based on how they perform
in their real game. Yep, and whoever's
54
00:04:20,220 --> 00:04:23,000
fantasy team gets the most points wins
that awesome trophy.
55
00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:24,520
Ugh.
56
00:04:24,740 --> 00:04:25,760
This trophy's pathetic.
57
00:04:26,180 --> 00:04:28,640
I wouldn't use this cup to throw a drink
at my butler.
58
00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:34,040
And why does it say Marion Mosby, Hotel
Manager of the Year?
59
00:04:35,220 --> 00:04:36,720
Because we haven't scratched it out yet.
60
00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:41,100
Well, if you let me in the league, I'll
donate a solid gold trophy big enough...
61
00:04:49,260 --> 00:04:50,260
his spiky hair.
62
00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:52,280
Dang it!
63
00:04:54,940 --> 00:04:57,340
Who wants to play some football?
64
00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:05,640
Me!
65
00:05:05,860 --> 00:05:06,860
Let's go, Kirby.
66
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:10,180
It's not Kirby. It's Coach Morris. You
need to show me some respect.
67
00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:12,900
That'll be hard to do with you in those
shorts.
68
00:05:32,010 --> 00:05:38,350
right arm is stronger i use it to focus
my microscope we obviously need to start
69
00:05:38,350 --> 00:05:44,730
with some conditioning oh already did it
this morning after i shampooed i'm not
70
00:05:44,730 --> 00:05:48,310
talking about your hair although that
does explain the lack of split ends
71
00:06:25,520 --> 00:06:26,520
into the yard.
72
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:27,820
Yes!
73
00:06:28,140 --> 00:06:30,640
Did one of your Woody's woodpeckers just
score?
74
00:06:59,340 --> 00:07:00,440
You're just a real -life cast member.
75
00:07:31,370 --> 00:07:32,750
this thing and start my own record
company.
76
00:07:33,110 --> 00:07:35,650
And I can buy a house for each of those
cheerleaders.
77
00:07:36,350 --> 00:07:39,070
And I can make the world's biggest root
beer floats.
78
00:07:41,950 --> 00:07:46,170
See? You gotta know what the ladies
like.
79
00:07:52,450 --> 00:07:52,910
Uh,
80
00:07:52,910 --> 00:07:59,530
two
81
00:07:59,530 --> 00:08:00,970
questions. Do I really?
82
00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:07,380
And did you ever wash any of this? Nope,
it's bad luck.
83
00:08:08,620 --> 00:08:09,620
Yours or mine?
84
00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:13,680
All right, now it's time for the best
part about football.
85
00:08:13,980 --> 00:08:17,140
The halftime show? I love it when the
band spells stuff out.
86
00:08:18,020 --> 00:08:19,280
No, the hit.
87
00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:21,760
Time to release all that pent -up
aggression.
88
00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:23,940
But that's what my diary is for.
89
00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:26,620
Hey, boy, there are no diaries in
football.
90
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,600
Okay, this is a tackling dummy.
91
00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:35,080
Keep your hips square, your head up, and
hit it as hard... Fight as you can and
92
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:36,080
knock it over.
93
00:09:06,860 --> 00:09:10,660
Mr. Mosby, do you know what it's like to
be excluded by your peers just because
94
00:09:10,660 --> 00:09:13,480
you're not athletically inclined?
95
00:09:14,260 --> 00:09:15,260
Do I?
96
00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:22,740
It was the fall of 79.
97
00:09:24,260 --> 00:09:28,260
The economy was depressed, but not as
depressed as a young Marion Mosby who
98
00:09:28,260 --> 00:09:29,840
shunned once again for not making the
team.
99
00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:32,460
You play football.
100
00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:38,079
for months.
101
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:41,160
But when the moment came, I took a
shuttlecock to the eye.
102
00:09:44,640 --> 00:09:48,320
Coach Melissa said, I put the bad in
badminton.
103
00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:52,280
So, now do you know why I'm doing this?
104
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:11,960
to wash that.
105
00:10:13,740 --> 00:10:15,800
I can't believe I work for him.
106
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:23,540
So now let's see if you can catch a
ball.
107
00:10:24,220 --> 00:10:25,700
Maybe you could be a wide receiver.
108
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:30,340
Can I just be a kicker? If you want to
be a kicker, then join the Rockettes.
109
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:33,360
Now this is pretty simple. Here, watch
me.
110
00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:18,900
that London is winning.
111
00:11:19,100 --> 00:11:22,760
She picked her wide receiver because his
eyes are dreamy.
112
00:11:23,940 --> 00:11:25,340
Well, she's not wrong.
113
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,260
But still, that's not how you should
pick.
114
00:11:28,740 --> 00:11:30,780
Well, she has Kurt Warner at
quarterback.
115
00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,700
He's got more touchdowns than you got
stains on your shirt.
116
00:11:48,170 --> 00:11:49,430
Gotham's no solid gold trophy.
117
00:11:49,890 --> 00:11:50,890
Word.
118
00:11:51,890 --> 00:11:56,430
Wow, that was easy. I thought I was
going to have to bribe you guys. Well,
119
00:11:56,430 --> 00:11:57,430
know,
120
00:11:58,550 --> 00:12:02,190
I'm just going to go ask Cody what an
anemone looks like.
121
00:12:05,830 --> 00:12:11,170
What if I said I can make your team
better?
122
00:12:11,790 --> 00:12:12,790
Better looking?
123
00:12:17,130 --> 00:12:21,750
me, Kurt Warner, and I'll trade you Brad
Pitt.
124
00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:24,450
Yes! Brad Pitt is gorgeous!
125
00:12:24,670 --> 00:12:27,570
I want him! Give me, give me, give me! I
don't actually have him on me.
126
00:12:27,910 --> 00:12:32,610
Because I hit him somewhere on the sky
deck. Go look!
127
00:12:34,850 --> 00:12:35,870
Ah, sweet.
128
00:12:36,290 --> 00:12:37,950
Like taking Warner from a baby.
129
00:13:15,950 --> 00:13:16,950
What's up, Coach Morris?
130
00:13:17,930 --> 00:13:20,810
I'm not wearing my coach's hat. I'm
wearing my Kirby hat.
131
00:13:21,310 --> 00:13:24,210
Actually, I'm not wearing any hat at
all. I got a big head, and it's hard to
132
00:13:24,210 --> 00:13:25,210
find one that fits.
133
00:13:26,270 --> 00:13:31,390
Look, Kirby, I really appreciate your
help, but I'm just giving up on being
134
00:13:31,390 --> 00:13:32,390
of the guys.
135
00:13:33,050 --> 00:13:34,050
Well,
136
00:13:34,830 --> 00:13:36,490
being one of the girls ain't an option.
137
00:13:38,090 --> 00:13:42,190
Now, Cody, if football taught me
anything, it was to never give up.
138
00:13:42,530 --> 00:13:45,960
Well, that and no matter how appetite...
and it may look after practice, the
139
00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:47,860
human body cannot digest a mouthpiece.
140
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:52,460
You saw me out there. All I did was hurt
myself.
141
00:13:52,800 --> 00:13:55,100
I even got heartburn from the sports
drink.
142
00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:56,740
That was water.
143
00:13:58,040 --> 00:13:59,400
Probably unfiltered.
144
00:14:01,620 --> 00:14:06,520
But either way, I'm settling my stomach
with a sodium bicarbonate solution to
145
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:07,800
level off my pH balance.
146
00:14:15,530 --> 00:14:17,270
Do you really think that'll work?
147
00:14:17,510 --> 00:14:21,030
Absolutely. My coach motivated me by
using something I love.
148
00:14:21,230 --> 00:14:25,830
He said, Kirby, picture the quarterback
as a double bacon cheeseburger with
149
00:14:25,830 --> 00:14:26,830
extra barbecue sauce.
150
00:14:27,010 --> 00:14:28,890
The very next play, I sack the
quarterback.
151
00:14:29,350 --> 00:14:32,570
Although I did get a 15 -yard penalty
for taking a bite out of his leg.
152
00:14:41,350 --> 00:14:44,390
Oh, hey, Arizona's about to score. What
do you change the channel?
153
00:14:44,750 --> 00:14:45,750
No problem.
154
00:14:46,730 --> 00:14:48,530
With your hands, bird brain.
155
00:14:49,270 --> 00:14:50,270
Oh.
156
00:14:54,070 --> 00:14:57,070
Where's one in any way? I'm only wearing
this to make her happy.
157
00:14:57,470 --> 00:14:59,170
Although women do keep tickling me.
158
00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:18,040
Angelina Jolie.
159
00:15:18,660 --> 00:15:21,840
No. In the game. He's my starting
quarterback.
160
00:15:23,020 --> 00:15:24,940
I traded Zach Kurt Warner for him.
161
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:36,260
You tricked London into giving you Kurt
Warner?
162
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:37,500
How could you?
163
00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:39,280
It wasn't hard.
164
00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:41,940
Look, she can't even crack open a
peanut.
165
00:15:42,300 --> 00:15:43,340
Open, open, open.
166
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:45,420
I command you.
167
00:15:49,680 --> 00:15:53,080
Do that, diaper boy. Call me diaper boy
again, and I'll twist you into a balloon
168
00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:56,980
now. Oh, I'm so scared. What are you
going to do? Hit me with your wittle
169
00:15:56,980 --> 00:15:57,980
waddle?
170
00:17:01,040 --> 00:17:03,080
talk below the center of mass.
171
00:17:03,420 --> 00:17:05,700
Ooh, Newtonian mechanics.
172
00:17:06,280 --> 00:17:07,280
Sweet!
173
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:12,000
Pretend this is a bully who just stole
your lunchbox.
174
00:17:12,560 --> 00:17:13,720
That is my...
175
00:17:30,830 --> 00:17:32,650
You need to be gentle when catching the
ball.
176
00:17:33,150 --> 00:17:37,110
Oh, do you mean apply negative force to
absorb the ball's kinetic energy?
177
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:40,110
I don't know. I fell asleep on page
three of this book.
178
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:06,080
Feel that? Feel what?
179
00:18:11,020 --> 00:18:12,020
Wow.
180
00:18:19,740 --> 00:18:20,740
Here's a smoothie.
181
00:18:21,980 --> 00:18:23,220
Did you spit in it?
182
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:24,840
Maybe.
183
00:18:27,020 --> 00:18:28,020
Woody.
184
00:18:29,260 --> 00:18:31,320
What are you doing still wearing that?
185
00:18:31,620 --> 00:18:33,080
Found out I paid for an entire...
186
00:18:34,410 --> 00:18:35,410
money's worth.
187
00:18:35,730 --> 00:18:36,830
Ooh, a smoothie.
188
00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:42,730
Great news, guys. I picked up a new
quarterback.
189
00:18:43,010 --> 00:18:44,450
Let me guess, Orlando Bloom?
190
00:18:45,390 --> 00:18:46,890
Nope, Ben Roethlisberger.
191
00:18:47,130 --> 00:18:49,530
He's got a good matchup against a
depleted Lions secondary.
192
00:18:49,750 --> 00:18:52,590
Their bend -over -cover -two schemes
usually leave the middle of the field
193
00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:53,590
open.
194
00:18:55,330 --> 00:18:59,090
Just last week, you thought the New York
Giants were actual giants.
195
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:05,980
bagger to help me out. Huh?
196
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:14,500
We're going to go to the store bagger
and two -time NFL MVP.
197
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:18,320
Kurt Warner, how did you get here?
198
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:19,720
In a pink helicopter.
199
00:19:19,980 --> 00:19:21,380
Please don't tell my teammates.
200
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:26,800
I'm so proud of you, Cody. You've been
holding on to that ball for two days
201
00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:30,420
straight. Yep, even in the shower. You
know, it makes a surprisingly good
202
00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:31,420
loofah.
203
00:19:42,060 --> 00:19:44,240
Got off to a bit of a rough start when
he bit my leg.
204
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:46,600
I spit it out.
205
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:51,160
Kurt, I'd like you to meet Cody. I've
been coaching him. Hey, Cody, how you
206
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:52,160
doing? Hello, Mr. Warner.
207
00:19:52,380 --> 00:19:55,440
I'm not too familiar with your work, but
judging from your shirt's grade of
208
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:56,840
cotton, you must be quite successful.
209
00:19:58,020 --> 00:19:59,080
Thanks. It's Egyptian.
210
00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:02,600
Yes, it is. What do you say we check out
if Kirby's as good a coach as he was a
211
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,760
player? Well, he'd have to be a miracle
worker to teach Cody football.
212
00:20:06,140 --> 00:20:09,480
He thinks touchdown is something you do
when shopping for a duvet.
213
00:20:12,140 --> 00:20:13,140
brother, Chase.
214
00:20:13,820 --> 00:20:15,260
What do you say? Give me a post -rap.
215
00:20:21,900 --> 00:20:22,260
You
216
00:20:22,260 --> 00:20:30,120
know,
217
00:20:34,660 --> 00:20:37,920
Cody, I never thought I'd say this, but
nice catch, man.
218
00:20:38,740 --> 00:20:39,740
Thanks, Zach.
219
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:41,560
What do you say we play a little game?
220
00:20:42,510 --> 00:20:43,510
I called it.
221
00:21:18,410 --> 00:21:20,230
You've got that grocery baggage thing to
fall back on.
222
00:21:26,610 --> 00:21:27,610
Hey, guys.
223
00:21:27,730 --> 00:21:30,410
Just want to let you know we're dropping
out of our fantasy football league.
224
00:21:30,690 --> 00:21:34,510
Awesome. That means one of us gets the
trophy. Not my trophy. I sold that thing
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to buy a real football team.
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00:21:35,850 --> 00:21:36,970
You did? Which one?
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00:21:37,230 --> 00:21:41,030
The Arizona Cardinals. Oh, or should I
say the Arizona...
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00:21:51,210 --> 00:21:52,470
We really got to talk about these
uniforms.
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You're right.
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They need more sparkles!
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Oh, the Raiders will make fun of us.
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Wait till the team sees the skorts we
have for away games.
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00:22:03,570 --> 00:22:06,330
Trust me, you don't want to see a
lineman in a skort.
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