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Tonight on the Beaverton, faith groups
are furious after Justin Trudeau cut off
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00:00:12,420 --> 00:00:15,020
summer program funding for the nation's
snake handlers.
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00:00:15,940 --> 00:00:20,720
A huge scandal uncovers that the liberal
gas plant cancellation may have reduced
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00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:21,720
carbon emissions.
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And due to thin ice, the Rideau Canal
has been shut down for everyone who
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00:00:26,500 --> 00:00:27,500
a big old chicken.
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00:00:36,910 --> 00:00:40,890
Welcome to the Beaverton, the only news
show that can prevent forest fires. I'm
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00:00:40,890 --> 00:00:43,730
your host, Miguel Rivas. And I'm serial
arsonist Emma Hunter.
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We begin in Washington.
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00:00:46,330 --> 00:00:49,930
While a prolonged government shutdown
was averted, Republican leaders are
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blasting the Democrats for not loving
America enough to pass a bill that would
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00:00:53,710 --> 00:00:54,730
deport a bunch of children.
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Despite controlling the House, Senate,
and presidency, Paul Ryan is still
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00:00:59,470 --> 00:01:03,550
blaming Democrats for trying to protect
dreamers, noting, It's a sad day for
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America when Congress can't do what our
founding fathers intended, abandon our
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00:01:07,410 --> 00:01:08,410
most vulnerable citizens.
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Thankfully, a deal was reached to extend
a spending bill until February 8th.
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Republicans in particular were pleased
Democrats finally recognized the threat
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posed by kids raised in the United
States.
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Now both sides of the aisle can put the
shutdown behind them and hopefully work
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together until the next shutdown in a
couple weeks.
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Twitter will inform users if they
interacted with Russian trolls during
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U .S. election, in a move experts are
hailing as a little late and very
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pointless.
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A Twitter spokesperson defended the
move, saying Russians might not be so
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to use Twitter to attack our democracy
once we take the bold move of letting
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people know about it more than a year
after it happened.
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But Twitter's notification to 700 ,000
affected users may be undercut by a
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Russian troll notification to 300
million users warning them that Hillary
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born in Kenya.
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We now go to Davos, Switzerland, where
attendees of the World Economic Forum
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working hard to... the problem suffered
by the average attendee of the World
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Economic Forum.
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The participating business, political,
and cultural elites say they're excited
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someone is finally taking their problem
seriously, with seminars on topics
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ranging from corruption to world hunger
to how hard it is to be a monarch these
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days. But the summit is mainly concerned
with one worrying trend, said WEF
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founder Klaus Schwab.
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The top 1 % earned 82 % of all wealth in
2017, and that is completely
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unacceptable. Hopefully this conference
will determine where that other 18 %
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went.
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Millions came together over the weekend
in solidarity for the second annual
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Women's March. This year, however, the U
.S. flagship event was moved to the
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country's hotbed of feminist thought,
Las Vegas.
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The Women's March 2, the legend of
Curly's gold, was well attended, though
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organizers had to ignore several Las
Vegas bylaws, including a dress code
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requiring high heels, a pricey cover
charge of $80, and a mandatory DJ David
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Guetta live mix during all protest
chants.
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Said one marcher, it was annoying that
some bachelor party was hanging by the
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entrance and followed us around for the
rest of the march, so we used the
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opportunity to talk to them about
reproductive health and the wage gap.
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Ultimately, the march was deemed a
success.
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Participants felt empowered, new voters
were registered, and many went home with
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selfies of their favorite oiled -up
Chippendales models.
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Last week, Serena Williams shared her
harrowing postpartum experience, where
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was left to self -diagnose a pulmonary
embolism in her lungs after a nurse told
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her she was just confused.
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Serena's story is one of many that sheds
light on the institutionalized sexism
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in health care that puts women's lives
at risk. Here to discuss are Dr. Jim
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Larson and one of his patients, Mary
Watson.
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Thank you for having us. As a sufferer
of endometriosis, I frequently feel my
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symptoms go unnoticed by doctors, and
I'd be happy to share those experiences.
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And I'm happy to clarify her
interpretation of her experiences.
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Mary, you claim doctors demonstrate an
unconscious bias against women.
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Absolutely, Emma. I've seen firsthand
how stereotypes can affect treatment.
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Women are perceived as exaggerating, so
our symptoms are received with
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skepticism. I don't know about that.
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We all ask patients a thorough set of
questions, like, really?
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Are you sure?
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Are you sure?
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And finally, really?
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We have to convince our doctors what
we're feeling is real. Often we're not
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seen until a man vouches for us. Oh,
come on. No, she's right.
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Interesting point, Miguel.
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And if we do get treated, it's usually
for emotional symptoms rather than
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physical ones. When I was admitted to
Dr. Larson's ER with severe abdominal
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pain, he prescribed me sleepless in
Seattle.
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That's a great movie.
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I feel like in a climate of believing
women, you don't.
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Emma, these things take time. You don't
want to rush into treatment. It's
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dangerous to jump to conclusions.
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Also, doctors have to go by what we can
observe. If a woman gets out of bed and
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comes all the way to the hospital, how
much pain could she really be in?
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Doctor, that's our secret. Women are
always in pain. We just power through
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My heels are cutting into my ankles and
my shoes are filled with blood.
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Yeah, I've had a pounding migraine this
entire interview.
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Really?
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How can doctors overcome this
unconscious bias?
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Give women the benefit of the doubt by
treating based on symptoms, not
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assumptions. Well, I'll do my best to
listen more carefully. In fact, here is
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something that I think may help.
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This just says you should smile more.
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You would look so nice. Okay.
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Okay, okay. I think we've heard enough.
Thanks for your time. If you're a
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professional mascot, getting beat up is
all part of the job.
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But that's not what you expect when you
become a personal support worker. For
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more, here's our own Aisha Alfa.
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As manufacturing jobs are mechanized or
outsourced, health care is one of the
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few sectors of Canada's economy still
hiring new workers to mistreat. But
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because they've traditionally been
viewed as women's work, men have been
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unwilling to take on so -called pink
-collar jobs in fields like personal
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support work or nursing, sexy or
otherwise.
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But Linda Kwong of the Ontario Ministry
of Health is changing all that.
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What people need to realize is that
personal support work is a physically
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demanding, emotionally draining, and
often dangerous profession.
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That's terrible.
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Is the Ministry of Health going to
invest more funding to improve
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frontline health care professionals?
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Oh, no.
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Never. In fact, we want to start leaning
into those aspects. So the job appeals
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to men who were raised in a culture of
toxic masculinity.
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Which is why the ministry made this
recruitment video.
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Are you looking for a job filled with
non -stop adrenaline?
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A job filled with drugs, nudity, and
psychological trauma that takes a brutal
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physical toll?
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Then consider a career in personal
support work, you homo.
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PSW, the only job where you get to watch
someone die.
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Paid for by the Ontario Ministry of
Health.
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Thanks to this ad and a new sponsorship
of elder care facilities by the energy
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drink sector, men have started flocking
to the field of personal support work.
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So far, it has been a huge success.
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Hundreds of former cops and dishonorably
discharged soldiers now spend their
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days describing Fast and Furious films
to the infirm. But why aren't they
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deterred by the low wages?
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Weirdly, the moment men started doing
the jobs, wages went up 23 cents on the
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dollar.
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Incredible. Yeah.
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So, despite the many issues that remain
for personal support workers, it's nice
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to see the government finally taking
action to level the playing field for
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For the Beaverton, I'm Aisha Alfa.
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Thanks, Aisha. When we return, Canada is
totally unprepared for a worldwide flu
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epidemic. We don't have a solution, we
just wanted to remind you.
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I've built a bunker.
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A bunker?
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Do you suffer from chronic pain,
restlessness, or your back hurts
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You may be a candidate for
overprescribed opioids.
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Overprescribed opioids target pain at
the source by making sure your only
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problem is where to find more opioids.
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Overprescribed opioids are not for
everyone, but they are for almost
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Side effects may include muscle aches,
unemployment, electing a white
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supremacist to the White House.
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Four or five different kinds of death,
ending up like bubbles from the wire,
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lots of money for us.
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Ask your doctor if over -prescribed
opioids are right for you, and we'll
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00:09:01,010 --> 00:09:03,730
sure they have a financial incentive to
say they are.
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Coming up later, doctors warn the
teenage brain could be negatively
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cannabis think pieces.
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With Canadians facing record levels of
household debt, the Bank of Canada is
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offering payday loans.
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00:09:26,330 --> 00:09:30,790
And in exchange for a new NAFTA deal,
Justin Trudeau is offering the United
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States one night of passion with Quebec.
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The volatility of Bitcoin has been a
disaster for the millions of Canadians
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being forced to listen to their friend
explain Bitcoin.
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We're joined now by Laura Silovitz to
discuss what it'll mean for Canadian
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investors when Bitcoin spikes and or
crashes by the end of this sentence.
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Laura. Thanks, Emma. Sure.
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Bitcoin fluctuations are concerning. If
Bitcoin goes under, how will the richest
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criminals buy the most outlandish black
market goods?
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00:10:01,170 --> 00:10:04,330
But, Laura, Bitcoin isn't just the
currency of choice for criminals and
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libertarians who want to destroy the
government.
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It's certainly gone more mainstream over
the last year.
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But the point remains. If Bitcoin
crashes, we're all going to need some
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way to buy our illegal guns and
fentanyl. Maybe just don't buy those
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People aren't just going to stop buying
poisonous swords or people or forbidden
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dark web toilet paper, Miguel.
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Without Bitcoin, we'll need a new form
of untraceable fuck -you government
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money.
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Okay, but it better have jargon.
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Thankfully, it does.
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The one I'm really excited about is
blockchain, a new cryptocurrency where
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number of blockchains is limited to the
number of cryptocurrencies using the
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blockchain.
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I don't understand.
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That's okay. Neither do the people who
invented it. If nobody understands it,
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why would we use this type of currency?
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What currency would you like, Miguel?
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Gold? Cigarettes? White rhino horns?
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Horns? It's a deflationary currency,
Miguel. You can't mint new horns.
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It's like the Bitcoin at Savannah.
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They're nearly extinct.
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Well, leave it up to Miguel to find
something objectionable about trading in
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rhino horns.
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I just think we shouldn't place our
faith in abstract institutions that make
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people rich at the expense of others.
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Well, you just described the stock
market.
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So, Laura Silovitz, everybody.
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Justin Timberlake is gearing up for the
Super Bowl halftime show, his first time
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back since 2004's infamous Nipplegate.
But the pop sensation isn't sure how to
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shock people in a world that's been made
numb by a giant racist man -baby.
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Timberlake explained his plan to cause a
controversy.
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We have to think outside the bra on this
one.
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00:11:46,050 --> 00:11:50,550
Maybe mid -show I bring out that porn
star Trump had sex with, change the
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00:11:50,550 --> 00:11:55,350
to sexy back to indicate I'm a flat
earther, then go out with a bang by
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00:11:55,350 --> 00:11:57,110
in front of the flag with my wang out.
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Timberlake is determined to pull off
this scandal, citing that while it's a
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00:12:01,810 --> 00:12:05,790
different era, one thing will always
remain true. Somehow they'll find a way
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00:12:05,790 --> 00:12:07,050
blame this whole thing on a woman.
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From bone -crushing tackles to
thunderous slap shots to the quiet
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00:12:12,430 --> 00:12:16,090
bounce pass, we go now to Luke and Pat
at the Beaverton Sports Network.
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Coming up on BSN, the NBA will increase
parity next season by having every team
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share LeBron James.
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00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:28,510
The Oilers' struggles have led GM Peter
Cirelli to rethink his trade -away
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00:12:28,510 --> 00:12:29,830
talent -for -nothing strategy.
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00:12:30,670 --> 00:12:34,950
Blue Jays signed Al Albuquerque, Yeng
Barris, Delarte, and Giff Nagope to
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00:12:34,950 --> 00:12:37,630
up the organization's depth in guys with
amazing names.
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Welcome to BSN. I'm Luke, and this is my
son's biological father, Pat.
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Little Jaden does not suspect a thing.
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00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:49,260
Up first, Kid Rock will headline the
NHL's All -Star festivities this weekend
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the league makes good on its promise to
deliver fans the pimpin 'est
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entertainment 2003 has to offer. In
addition to Rock's performance, the game
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will feature between -period mud
wrestling, a wet t -shirt contest, and a
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00:13:00,660 --> 00:13:04,220
demolition derby in fun -filled events
for everyone, from trailer park meth
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00:13:04,220 --> 00:13:05,960
heads to garden variety carnies.
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00:13:06,490 --> 00:13:09,530
Personally, I think this kind of finger
-on -the -pulse programming will help
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the NHL maintain their position as North
America's most successful sports brand,
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behind only the NBA, NFL, MLB, PGA, and
PokerStars .net. I think you forgot the
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00:13:19,310 --> 00:13:20,890
World Series of Darts. Ooh, bullseye.
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00:13:21,850 --> 00:13:25,230
Ice dance pair and Canada sweetheart's
Virtue and Moyer have been named as flag
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bearers for the 2018 Olympic Games. It's
part of Sports Canada's scheme to make
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00:13:28,970 --> 00:13:31,430
these crazy kids finally realize they're
in love.
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00:13:32,090 --> 00:13:35,010
The organization hopes that marching in
together under the lights, their fingers
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caressed around the flagpole, will
finally do the trick after their
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00:13:38,230 --> 00:13:42,350
schemes all failed, including betting
Scott he couldn't transform ugly
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00:13:42,350 --> 00:13:45,670
Tessa into the prom queen, forcing them
to share a plate of spaghetti with no
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fork and a single meatball, and having
them spend 20 years simulating
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in their dances.
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Sport Canada added they're hoping the
two will at least do what all athletes
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staying in Olympic villages do, have
hot, flexible sex.
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Finally tonight, after the past
weekend's conference championships, it
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like this year's Super Bowl will be an
epic showdown for the ages between two
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the sport's fiercest competitors, the
New England Patriots' Tom Brady versus
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longtime rival and coach, Bill
Belichick.
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Fans are looking forward to hate
-watching this titanic grudge match
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two most despised men in the NFL.
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Said one analyst, it's impressive.
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In a league that includes rapists,
domestic abusers, and the occasional dog
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00:14:23,170 --> 00:14:27,450
-fighting enthusiast, the two least
popular figures still manage to be a
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who thinks drinking water prevents
sunburn and an old grouch.
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00:14:31,470 --> 00:14:34,830
Hey, Luke, do you think we could ever
have a falling out like Brady and
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Belichick? No, as long as we pay for
James College, we're good, man.
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Sounds like a plan.
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That'll do it for this BSN update. Join
us next week when we discuss how the IOC
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has banned a new performance -enhancing
drug that helps athletes believe they
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could do it all along.
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00:14:51,260 --> 00:14:52,400
Coming up later.
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00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,820
Economists predict Canada's housing
market will be a thing economists talk a
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00:15:09,820 --> 00:15:10,820
about in 2018.
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00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:15,420
With food waste on the rise, experts
wonder if you're going to finish that.
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00:15:16,340 --> 00:15:20,720
And 2017 was the third hottest year on
record, thanks to carbon emissions and
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00:15:20,720 --> 00:15:22,740
Despacito. Thousands died.
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00:15:24,700 --> 00:15:28,920
Jagmeet Singh is being criticized for
using his wedding proposal as a
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00:15:28,920 --> 00:15:33,360
stunt. But sources claim the NDP leader
only did it that way to finally get all
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00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:34,680
his aunties off his back.
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The normally private Singh spoke out,
saying, My family is so happy that I'm
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finally settling down. Once we get
through the next 18 months of nonstop
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planning, I should be free from the
nagging. By then, we'll be ready for the
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00:15:47,660 --> 00:15:48,760
baby nagging phase.
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While he's publicly happy about the
news, Justin Trudeau has reportedly
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to colleagues that Singh's just
manipulating the media to get good PR,
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Hey, that's my thing.
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00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:03,940
Justin Trudeau looks good on paper, as
proven by his centerfold in the UN
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00:16:03,940 --> 00:16:04,940
climate report.
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00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:08,560
But how does he keep capturing the
imagination of the Internet?
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00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:12,240
Donovan Stinson investigates the making
of our most upvoted prime minister.
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00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:24,020
Two years into his term, Prime Minister
Trudeau is mostly known for being the
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00:16:24,020 --> 00:16:27,900
most viral politician since that one
town in Minnesota elected a French
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00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:28,900
mayor.
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00:16:29,020 --> 00:16:32,480
It seems like barely a week goes by
before Justin does something that gets
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American website cream in their jeans.
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00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:37,100
But could all these stunts really be
spontaneous?
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No, we can't just have Justin hold three
pandas this time. Look, we need
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00:16:41,620 --> 00:16:42,660
original ideas.
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00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:47,500
Alice Hansen heads the PMO's integrated
voter marketing team. It's her job to
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00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:50,680
carefully plan each one of Trudeau's
impromptu viral moments.
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Everyone thinks it's so easy to trend on
Twitter, but it takes a lot of time and
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00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:58,500
effort to plan these moments of
spontaneity, like photobombing a hike. I
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00:16:58,500 --> 00:17:00,020
this photo. Yeah, everyone does.
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00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:03,840
We had to analyze which province to use,
rig the lighting, hire an attractive
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00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:07,040
family, bribe them not to tell. The
whole thing took months to plan.
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00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:08,399
Plus it costs millions.
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00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:09,358
What?
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00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:13,780
What if Justin leaves a big tip for,
like, a waitress somewhere?
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00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:17,099
Too cutesy. What's next? Okay, we could
set it up somewhere in the country so
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00:17:17,099 --> 00:17:21,140
that a car breaks down and Justin
happens by and fixes it. No! Enough
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00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:22,520
around. Give me your best idea.
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00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:25,300
He could finally address the boil water
advisory on reserve.
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00:17:27,819 --> 00:17:28,679
Get out.
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00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:33,800
People, this is not about policy. It's
about leadership, which means getting
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00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,860
Justin on the front page of BuzzFeed. So
somebody.
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00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:38,890
Give me something we can work with.
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00:17:41,350 --> 00:17:47,330
Yeah. What if Justin did the splits
while straddling two canoes like Jean
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00:17:47,330 --> 00:17:48,330
-Claude Van Damme did?
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00:17:51,990 --> 00:17:52,990
Not bad.
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00:17:53,410 --> 00:17:54,409
Thank you. Great.
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Our team is fighting hard to keep
Trudeau from being overtaken by the new
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00:17:58,410 --> 00:18:00,990
media darlings like the NDP's Jagmeet
Singh.
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00:18:01,770 --> 00:18:05,050
Fortunately, the conservatives continue
to lag as their recent stunt where
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00:18:05,050 --> 00:18:09,090
Andrew Scheer milked a cow and then
drank it was removed from Facebook for
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00:18:09,090 --> 00:18:10,090
inappropriate content.
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00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:13,690
For the Beaverton, Donovan Stinson,
signing off.
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00:18:14,570 --> 00:18:15,570
Thanks, Donovan.
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00:18:15,730 --> 00:18:19,890
When we return, our sex expert says
things that make me feel very
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00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:20,910
on national television.
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00:18:21,970 --> 00:18:24,550
I hope they're not having sex. You want
to take this story?
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00:18:24,750 --> 00:18:25,750
Yeah.
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00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:39,640
Welcome back.
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00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:44,900
At yesterday's Oscar nominations, the
Academy announced changes to this year's
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00:18:44,900 --> 00:18:48,740
show. All male winners will be given an
extra 30 seconds for their acceptance
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00:18:48,740 --> 00:18:51,220
speeches to allow room for a mandatory
apology.
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This will be a chance for men to say
sorry for their recent sexual harassment
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00:18:55,940 --> 00:18:59,820
to get ahead of any scandal that the
public does not yet know about but most
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00:18:59,820 --> 00:19:01,360
certainly will within a week.
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00:19:02,060 --> 00:19:05,840
A special exemption has been made in the
case of James Franco ending up on
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stage. He's been granted all the time in
the world to explain himself, plus an
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00:19:09,780 --> 00:19:11,800
option to phone a friend or lawyer.
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00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:18,340
The backlash to the MeToo movement has
exposed a significant generational
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00:19:18,340 --> 00:19:22,600
between young feminists and older women
who've been surfing every feminist wave
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00:19:22,600 --> 00:19:24,600
since before women had the right to
surf.
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00:19:25,350 --> 00:19:29,170
Under fire for their open letters on the
topic are Margaret Atwood and French
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00:19:29,170 --> 00:19:33,210
screen legend Catherine Deneuve. These
septuagenarians have taken controversial
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00:19:33,210 --> 00:19:37,150
positions, which younger intersectional
feminists are calling pretty unchill AF.
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00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:41,970
To which they responded, who is this AF
and why are they telling me what to do?
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00:19:42,990 --> 00:19:46,170
The divide has some observers alarmed
that the movement will lose its full
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00:19:46,170 --> 00:19:50,230
impact, and there's a need to unite
women on each side, which is just the
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00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:53,630
side, but doesn't look that way because
it's a patriarchal parlor trick.
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00:19:54,630 --> 00:19:58,770
Experts suggest that increased empathy
may help women to gracefully straddle
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00:19:58,770 --> 00:20:01,950
line between being a young bomb -ass
bitch and distinguished gilf.
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00:20:02,730 --> 00:20:06,370
The younger generation are asked to
understand that the Catherine Deneuves
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00:20:06,370 --> 00:20:10,030
the world have fond memories of being
Pepe Le Pewed because that type of
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00:20:10,030 --> 00:20:12,010
harassment was once acceptable behavior.
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00:20:12,370 --> 00:20:16,590
Kind of like how we used to be okay with
having Pepe Le Pew be a character in
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00:20:16,590 --> 00:20:17,590
children's cartoons.
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00:20:18,330 --> 00:20:22,450
For the members of the older generation,
the fastest way to understand the
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00:20:22,450 --> 00:20:26,590
changing face of sexual politics is to
sign up for Tinder and navigate that
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00:20:26,590 --> 00:20:28,430
universe of unsolicited dick pics.
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00:20:29,150 --> 00:20:33,480
Let's remember that we are all dragging
our fatigue. war -torn bodies through
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00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:37,680
the muds of oppression past Matt Damon's
tower of opinions no one asked for
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00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:40,500
towards the ultimate finish line of
gender equality.
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00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,940
We are losing sight of why women started
this movement anyway.
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00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:45,480
These guys.
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00:20:45,740 --> 00:20:49,240
Hey, what did I do? You know what I
mean, the royal these guys.
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Well, that's our show.
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Join us next week for more light, sound,
and if we're lucky, color.
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I just like you so viscerally. I can't
hear a certain or any type of... You
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00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:08,460
like me so viscerally? That's weird.
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00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:10,180
No, viscerally.
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00:21:10,420 --> 00:21:13,320
Oh. Yeah. That's actually how you figure
it out.
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00:21:13,820 --> 00:21:14,820
Well, yeah.
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00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:16,380
You're right, I'm a woman.
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Have I told you about my point of
action?
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00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:21,360
I have two blue nose guys.
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00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:24,080
I told you. It's definitely nice.
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00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,540
You told me. You have a great name, too.
33961
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