All language subtitles for the_beaverton_s02e07

Tonight on the Beaverton.

After their Olympic ban, Putin urges
athletes to compete for Russian puppet

regimes like Ukraine or the U .S.

The Golden Globes are scrambling to deal
with the fallout of sexual harassment

accusations against Boss Baby.

And citing a viral video of a starving
polar bear, experts are concerned the

planet is running out of animals that
can stop us.

Welcome to the Beaverton, Canada's only
bilingual news show that broadcasts

primarily in English.

Je m 'appelle Miguel Rivas.

I'm Emma Hunter, and that concludes the
French portion of the show.

With the Ontario Liberals taking their
first lead in provincial election polls,

Premier Kathleen Wynne is making her
boldest campaign promise yet, to govern

every year like it's an election year.

Wynne noted that her party does its
best, and indeed only, work when faced

the threat of losing power.

Like lowering hydro costs and replacing
pee stink on the TTC with a less

objectionable pee stink.

Economists say if Wynne actually does
call an election every year, it would

taxpayers roughly a billion dollars per
decade, making it the most financially

prudent proposal of her administration.

A failed trade deal between China and
Canada has left Prime Minister Trudeau

furious that China gave him a bunch of
platitudes on the environment and human

rights only to immediately backtrack,
sort of like he's been doing to

for the past two years.

Said Trudeau, leaders don't give each
other vague, over -the -top promises

never intend to follow through on. They
only do that to their citizens.

Trudeau added that as a result of the
acrimonious negotiations, he also

believe China will introduce electoral
reform or solve boil water advisories on

indigenous reserves.

However, Justin is still hopeful that
the deal could be saved and is currently

spending most of his time refreshing
Facebook to see if China had accepted

trade request.

Recently, Canadian and American
militaries prepared for a simulated

attack. The U .S. Army practiced
stealing all our natural resources, and

Canadians practiced not being able to do
anything about it.

The possibility of nuclear war continues
to grow as troll -in -chief Donald

Trump eggs on Kim Jong -un, pictured
here making an upside -down smiley emoji

with his hair and eyebrows.

The PMO is also bracing for North Korean
warheads missing their targets and

instead hitting Canadian cities, a
scenario called a nuclear whoopsie.

If that happens, Canada can rest assured
there are two bunkers where Justin

Trudeau can remain safe and still retain
command of his Twitter and Instagram

accounts.

From bankers to baristas to ballet
dancers, everyone needs a house, but

some people deserve one.

For more on the housing crisis, here is
Marilla West.

Since 1985, Habitat for Humanity has
helped people the world over find safe

affordable housing.

Now a new, similar organization is
helping the Canadians who need it most,

-something professionals who can't quite
afford to buy a house in Toronto or

Vancouver. We are so proud of the work
we've done. If it wasn't for us, many of

these six -figure earners would have to
rent for several more years.

Exactly.

We're here to help them achieve the
unthinkable, buying a downtown starter

without the assistance of their parents.

After an unprecedented surge of requests
and some disturbing data trends,

Jennifer's organization knew it had to
intervene.

And with major housing developments
already underway, it's poised to not

offer homes, but hope. We turn people's
lives around.

With our help, a doctor can now afford
that one -bedroom condo.

Plus debt.

At their latest Toronto build site, the
community has rallied in support of the

underprivileged upper middle class.

And as you can see, we have a number of
student volunteers assisting people in

need. And it's good for them that they
support the program, since they're

to use it in the future.

With minimal room to develop within city
limits, and with baby boomers adamant

that their condo views not be
obstructed, there's been nowhere to go

Literally.

Subgrade condos help us keep our costs
down, so we help more people.

Cool. And while these low -sink condos
promise such unusual amenities as extra

moisture and views of nature, Jennifer
says it was totally worth spending the

$100 million that could have gone
towards solving actual homelessness.

After all, how else could you see the
look of joy in two graphic designers'

as they move into their new penthouse on
the negative 37th floor?

For the Beaverton, I'm Marilla Wex.

President Trump formally recognized
Jerusalem as the capital of Israel,

it was his Christmas gift to the Jewish
people.

When Israeli politicians tried to
explain that Jewish people didn't

Christmas, and this wasn't even on the
negotiating table for the peace process,

Trump became confused, saying, Christmas
is the greatest holiday. Believe me,

there's Santa, eggnog, and Ivanka always
dresses up like a sexy elf.

He also sent Palestinian President
Mahmoud Abbas a Christmas basket of

jams, jellies, and cakes, which will
hopefully see him through the war Trump

just incited.

Of course, violent clashes in the area
caused such a sharp drop in tourism to

Bethlehem that for the first time ever,
there is room at the inn.

This year, Hurricanes Harvey, Irma, and
Maria left many areas ravaged, causing

billions of dollars in damage and
leaving people without power or even a

to live.

For more on how these areas are
recovering is Caribbean observer Sadie

Hi, guys.

These storms devastated some Caribbean
nations.

Repairs continue and supplies are being
distributed.

But the big question remains, will all
-inclusive resorts ever recover?

That is emphatically not the big
question.

It's the big question for Canadians
looking for a romantic getaway or a

from the cold weather.

What about the people who live in these
countries? 30 % of Puerto Rico still

doesn't have electricity.

That may be, but the good news is that
much of the debris has been cleared

between the region's airports and
resorts, so tourists can get a week of R

without having to see the conditions
their servers are enduring.

Are you a monster?

Why are you so obsessed with resorts?

Because if Caribbean all -inclusive
resorts don't recover soon, Canadians

be in danger of missing out on a last
-minute deal on their Christmas

Who cares? Canadians can barf in the
pool in lots of places.

I do it at Great Wolf Lodge.

The Virgin Islands, Barbuda, St.
Martins, these places, they still need

supplies, aid, and drinking water. What
can Canadians do?

The most selfless, heroic gesture you
can make is haggling with a local for a

seashell necklace.

For the economy.

This is shameful. I can't believe you
would suggest this.

So you're cancelling your trip to
Anguilla?

Well, I didn't actually get cancellation
insurance, so I have to go. That's for

sure. It's not in my control.

Guys, don't worry. The parts of Anguilla
you can see from the resorts are

beautiful.

All right.

Sadie, thanks for your time.

After the break, Toronto FC's MLS
championship win was marred by Dylan's

forgetting to bring orange slices.

You've got to bring the slices.

Coming up later.

The NRA unveils a new silencer that
muzzles the sound of studies linking

gun violence.

Are New York City Ghostbusters only
busting black ghosts?

And scientists have determined patient
zero for this year's devastating office

cold is Kathy.

An Edmonton judge has temporarily
blocked Suncor's plan to perform random

tests on its employees as it would
infringe on their right to get super

work.

A union representing workers at a Fort
McMurray mine requested the injunction

despite numerous drug -related mishaps
and all the drugs found stashed in

offices, excavators, and tailing ponds.

Suncor has expressed disagreement with
the ruling as they can't believe the

courts would turn a blind eye to anyone
who recklessly exposes themselves to

chemicals that clearly cause long -term
damage.

Vladimir Putin confirmed this week that
he'll seek re -election in 2018, an

announcement he immediately followed up
with his victory speech.

In a statement, Putin praised his
opponent in advance for waging an

campaign that was tragically derailed by
a poison to be named later.

By the time his next term ends, Putin
will have served as Russian leader for

nearly a quarter century, during which
time he transformed the country from a

lawless mobocracy to a thriving lawless
mobocracy.

Cocaine, the thin white line that
separates addicts from cool addicts.

But can it be cooler? To find out more
is our own Laura Silovitz.

With marijuana legalization in process,
a group of young disruptors is bringing

the indie spirit to a whole new
industry, cocaine.

Founder and co -entrepreneur Taylor Mona
says that the kind of people who use

cocaine, young progressive city
dwellers, are fed up with the corporate

doing business.

So that's how we knew the market was
ready for a paradigm shift towards

grown ethical blow. So you're selling
violence -free cocaine?

Well, no, not exactly. It's still
cocaine, right? So people are still

their faces cut off so that you can have
fun at the office Christmas party. It's

just that their local face is getting
cut off. By local enforcers, that's

While still technically against the law,
Taylor thinks cocaine legalization

should come as early as 2019, thanks to
her team's persuasive lobbying slash

kidnapping efforts.

In the meantime, the RCMP has seemed
unwilling to raid your dispensary. Is

because of a legal gray area?

No, not really. Actually, you would be
shocked by how chill the RCMP can be

all of your employees are white.

But beyond the perceived legitimacy,
there are other reasons La Cocaina is

to position itself as a premium brand.

It's higher quality because they only
cut it with premium laundry detergents.

Plus, the human cost is just four or
five lives per ounce, so I'm voting with

dollar. Because what else are you going
to do? Stop creating a demand for the

product?

Do you want to come help me fight a girl
in the parking lot?

Most coca leaf is grown by overseas
narco -serf, but you're saying your joy

powder is farm -designers.

It's grown by forced labor right here in
the Niagara Peninsula.

Wow. It really tastes the richest
scarpment terroir.

Yeah.

Even though Taylor sometimes has to mail
a severed toe to send a message, we can

all take comfort in knowing we're doing
our part for the Earth by getting a

hundred mile high.

For the Beaverton, I'm Laura Silivas.

Great report, Laura, but I have a
feeling we're really going to need

in about 15 minutes.

The holiday season presents a number of
obstacles.

Shopping, office parties, seasonal
depression.

Creepy children's choirs, remembering
eggnog is disgusting, and heightened

security at malls.

But mostly the amount of street
fundraisers who harass people for

donations. Even though this is one of
the least effective ways to donate.

Here to discuss the issue is one such
fundraiser, Mark Allensby.

Thanks, Miguel.

Mark, let's cut right to the chase. Why
are there so many street fundraisers

when such a large percentage of the
money raised goes to covering corporate

overhead? Well, let me answer that
question with another question.

Do you care about sick kids?

What? Yes, of course I do, but that's
not what we're talking about. Because

by donating five or six minutes of your
time to a street fundraiser, you could

help dozens of young men and women hit
their monthly quota.

So are you saying we shouldn't cross the
street if we see one coming up ahead?

Absolutely not.

Make eye contact with them.

Respond to them if they talk to you.

Compliment them on the weird dance they
do to try to get you to stop.

Because for less than the price of bread
and milk, you could help a young street

fundraiser survive the winter.

I'm pretty sure you get paid regardless
of whether you solicit any donations.

Hmm. What if I threw in a free
subscription to the Walrus?

You're really only hurting your cause
here.

Okay, look, guys, I know what you're
saying.

I know people find us annoying or an
eyesore, but we're part of the city's

ecosystem, just like anybody else. No,
you're not. You're just a guy who gets

paid to harass people on their way to
work.

Most of us would rather actually donate
to people who need it.

Well, you could do that, but what if we
start with you just giving me your phone

number, and then we'll go from there.
All right, thank you for your time.

When we return, just in time for
Christmas, a B .C. company launches a

vegan handbags made entirely out of dead
vegans.

That's funny.

Coming up later, WikiLeaks says their
calls with Donald Trump Jr. didn't mean

anything since they were making the jerk
-off hand motion the entire time.

Small knives are now allowed on planes,
which is a slippery slope to tiny guns.

And Quebec is spending $25 million to
warn the public about cannabis use by

reshooting that episode of Saved by the
Bell.

As China and India vie for global
cultural dominance, the emerging powers

embroiled in their most tense standoff
yet.

whose cuisine Jewish people will order
in on Christmas.

India is engaged in a heavy flyer
campaign, while China is hoping to win

and minds with strategic two -for -one
coupons.

While Jewish families are flattered by
the attention, the high number of IBS

sufferers in the community are concerned
over the fallout of the dispute the

next morning.

Buying holiday gifts for people you
don't know very well has always been

difficult, but Shoppers Drug Mart is
making the process easier by unveiling a

seasonal gift card that allows the
recipient to purchase any gift card in

store. Now you don't need to worry if
the second cousins and work colleagues

your life use iTunes or eat in
restaurants.

You can just give them the card and let
them choose.

The gift card gift card is the perfect
present for when you think cash is too

impersonal, but you still want to be
very impersonal.

The product is expected to be one of the
most popular gifts this year, alongside

SportCheck's new All the Sports jersey.

With telephone surveys showing 68 % of
Canadians support a ban on face

coverings, pollsters warn the results
may be skewed by the fact that the only

people who still have landlines are your
racist grandmothers.

Lead researcher of Argos Polling
suggests, according to our outdated

majority of Canadians identify as
socially conservative, while two -thirds

strongly disagree. approve of that darn
rap music, particularly if performed by

someone wearing a niqab. But while
technological changes and manipulative

questioning may undermine the efficacy
of polling, one thing was clear in this

survey. 90 % of respondents were just
happy that someone called.

The FCC will vote tomorrow on repealing
net neutrality laws implemented to

ensure that all websites have equal
access to America's 252 million internet

masturbators.

American table giants say abolishing the
rule will provide a better online

experience. Opponents call it the end of
free speech, while the rest of us are

still pretending we understand what net
neutrality is.

Oh, it means... I don't care.

Here now to discuss the merits of
Internet freedom are Comcast spokeswoman

Rankford. Thanks for having me.

And joining us via Skype from Miami is
net neutrality advocate Sanford Welch.

Sanford, let's start with you. Why is
net neutrality important?

Without net neutrality?

Valid.

Agreed. We should be without net
neutrality.

Sanford, are you there?

Sorry, for some reason my service
provider is throttling my bandwidth.

Which we only do to decrease congestion
on our network when people like Sanford

here use up too much bandwidth on One
Direction videos.

Why are you watching so many One
Direction videos?

That is not important.

What is important is that the Internet
is a public utility and should be

compromised by any media conglomerate.

You are cutting out again. Sorry.

You know, I think what he's trying to
say is repealing net neutrality helps

consumers and Internet providers alike.

Was that your point, Sanford?

Uh, whoops.

never know. With all due respect, it
feels like you just throttled him to

silence an opinion you don't want our
viewers to hear.

See, this is why repealing net
neutrality is so important.

By giving service providers total
control over the internet you rely on

pretty much every aspect of your life,
we can provide stronger, more secure

connections. And all it will cost you is
whatever we want it to.

Thanks, Gina.

Wow, I'm so thankful that we live in a
country where we don't have to pay

exorbitant prices for substandard
Internet access. Can you imagine?

Um... After the break, do we need
antitrust laws to break up Silicon

ask our expert, Siri.

You don't know the stuff.

Welcome back. In a rare moment of
cooperation, Canada, the U .S., and

signed an international agreement to
study the high Arctic. Russia noted

excited to investigate ice thickness by
placing larger and larger missiles on

it. Russian scientists say it's
important to understand how the North is

changing by examining whether tanks can
maneuver on melting tundra or if polar

bears can be trained to operate anti
-aircraft guns.

However, some are concerned that
Russia's 100 ,000 muscular scientists...

may have ulterior motives in the North.
The head of Russia's Arctic research

program, Dr. Viktor Coldblood Petrov,
explained, We must take a hands -on

approach to studying this new area.

For example, how can we know where to
extract resources if we don't first

bomb Baffin Island?

That is science.

When Wilfrid Laurier University
reprimanded a TA for airing Jordan

clips in class, everyone felt the need
to weigh in on campus free speech, from

right -wing columnists to columnists on
the center -right.

But two weeks ago, when a rally and
counter -protest were held at Laurier

the debacle, few people actually
attended, and even fewer were burning

Which brings us to tonight's point
-counterpoint. Our university is doing

to prepare students to succeed in the
outrage economy.

Why in the world would we need them to
do that?

Because the job market is bleak.
Graduates are entering the workforce

record levels of debt. And if I have
learned anything from Reddit and 4chan,

only thing students are qualified to do
is yell at each other over the very

important issue of free speech on
campus.

But in the real world, the so -called
attack on college conservative views is

overblown. It's driven by the media.

Well, name me a better authority on
contemporary college life than Christy

Blatchford or Rex Murphy.

Literally anyone at all. And can you
please tell me why men's rights

are being shouted down just for
expressing their opinions during their

exams? If that actually happened, it
should be reprimanded for many reasons.

see, now that is the exact elitist
attitude that is hampering Canadian

If they are going to compete in the hot
take sector, we need to follow... Go

America's lead and invite Richard
Spencer to guest lecture on Eugenics

No, we don't. Yes, we do. We need our
schools to prepare students for the real

world by encouraging respectful debate.

Face it, Grandpa.

Times have changed. People are angry,
and we need to give them an appropriate

target. Each other.

Doesn't that just stoke the fires of
hatred and make our society less civil?

I mean, maybe, but in this economic
climate, I don't see any other option.

Writing think pieces on free speech and
entrapping the Washington Post are

really the only ways to have a career
with a humanities degree. Think about

I... Right?

Guess I can't really argue with that.

Well, that's been our show. After a
very, very long break, we'll be back

next week's show.

Now...

I wouldn't go to the class.

No, because you don't even have a potty
dog.

I don't have a potty dog. You have a
long, long, long, long potty dog.

For me, it's all about maximizing the
credits you get for food at university

save money, because I wanted to start my
woodworking craft.

Oh, so you have a woodworking craft in
your repertoire. I do.

Oh, I do, yeah.

Oh my God!