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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,580 Good night, sweetheart. 2 00:00:03,100 --> 00:00:07,000 All my prayers are for you. 3 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:10,180 Good night, sweetheart. 4 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:14,660 I'll be watching over you. 5 00:00:14,980 --> 00:00:20,860 Tears and parting may make us alone. 6 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:24,920 But with the coming, 7 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:28,440 a new day is born. 8 00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:50,100 Singing in the mirror. 9 00:00:50,520 --> 00:00:51,520 Yeah. 10 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:54,080 Ta -da! 11 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:57,400 Carrie, it's beautiful. 12 00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:00,640 Dolce and Gabbana. 13 00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:03,840 It's not Italian. That Mussolini's no friend of mine. 14 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:07,580 No, they're on our side now, Phoebe. Well, not on Hitler's side anyway, don't 15 00:01:07,580 --> 00:01:11,600 worry. No, I saw it, liked it, thought how great you'd look in it. I love it. 16 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:14,080 Me in this, singing in a cocktail lounge. 17 00:01:15,410 --> 00:01:18,570 Yeah, Phoebe, I know that Noel Coward said you have a lovely voice. And you 18 00:01:18,570 --> 00:01:22,470 have. You have. It's just... Well, it's a long way from Whitechapel to Tin Pan 19 00:01:22,470 --> 00:01:25,290 Alley. It's not so far from the West End, though, is it? 20 00:01:26,030 --> 00:01:27,790 It's the Street of Broken Hearts, Phoebe. 21 00:01:28,390 --> 00:01:29,390 What did you say? 22 00:01:29,710 --> 00:01:31,450 I said it's the Street of Broken... No, before that. 23 00:01:32,090 --> 00:01:33,690 It's a long way from Whitechapel... No, before that. 24 00:01:34,910 --> 00:01:35,910 You've got a lovely voice. 25 00:01:37,350 --> 00:01:41,710 Gary, what a lovely thing to say. Do you really think so? Have I really? Yes, 26 00:01:41,790 --> 00:01:44,230 but... Well, it's no good reaching for the moon. 27 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:46,740 I could have a go, Gary, at being a singer. 28 00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:47,899 Why not? 29 00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:49,060 You never know till you try. 30 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:51,720 You could write me a song. 31 00:01:52,380 --> 00:01:54,980 It's not that easy, Phoebe. I have to be in the mood. 32 00:01:56,260 --> 00:01:58,080 Well, I expect I can help you with that. 33 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:01,080 No, I mean, you know, I have to have inspiration. 34 00:02:01,820 --> 00:02:03,960 Well, it's like being struck by lightning. 35 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:05,320 No, it's not. 36 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,460 I'd not, if I was struck by lightning. 37 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:09,080 So I just after. 38 00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:11,820 She had hair like a brillo and she walked without bending her knees. 39 00:02:12,540 --> 00:02:14,360 No, I mean, it comes as a surprise. 40 00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:15,920 That's what Aunty Ethel found. 41 00:02:17,060 --> 00:02:18,800 And that's the course you've lost it. 42 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:21,000 Of course I haven't lost it. 43 00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:23,680 That sort of raw talent never deserts you. 44 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:25,960 Then why can't you write more for me? 45 00:02:26,420 --> 00:02:27,279 Well, I could. 46 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:30,120 Bet you couldn't. Yeah, of course I could. Go on, then. All right, I will. 47 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,580 WLTM. Would love to meet. 48 00:02:35,860 --> 00:02:37,280 G -S -O -H. 49 00:02:37,790 --> 00:02:39,270 Good sense of humour. 50 00:02:40,950 --> 00:02:43,190 NS. No sex. 51 00:02:45,110 --> 00:02:46,570 Non -smoker. 52 00:02:46,790 --> 00:02:47,790 Right. 53 00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:50,030 It's a mine -filled lonely heart. 54 00:02:50,570 --> 00:02:51,570 Here's one. 55 00:02:51,830 --> 00:02:58,810 Attract opera lover, WLTM, tall blonde guy, GSOH, 25 -30, NS for stimulating 56 00:02:58,810 --> 00:02:59,810 relationship. 57 00:03:00,050 --> 00:03:01,830 And on what grounds do you qualify? 58 00:03:02,190 --> 00:03:03,750 I don't smoke, she can't have everything. 59 00:03:08,780 --> 00:03:09,780 Any good? 60 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,960 It's wartime stuff. It's your kind of thing, isn't it, son? 61 00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:14,700 Um, well, yeah, it is. 62 00:03:15,060 --> 00:03:17,840 Um, I can let you have Fiverr. 63 00:03:18,620 --> 00:03:20,840 See, quite honestly, I've got quite a lot of this stuff. 64 00:03:26,140 --> 00:03:27,140 Phoebe Sparrow. 65 00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:28,740 Where did you get this? 66 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:30,459 Oh, it's mine. 67 00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:33,220 My mum's during the war. That's her name in there. 68 00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:37,440 What's up, then? 69 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:38,760 That was hers as well. 70 00:03:39,540 --> 00:03:41,640 There were a lot more of them, but they got broke over the years. 71 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:43,880 Five of you, OK? 72 00:03:44,460 --> 00:03:47,400 Um, I need your name and address. 73 00:03:48,260 --> 00:03:50,040 Why? I need to know who you are. 74 00:03:50,540 --> 00:03:51,840 Why, the stuff's not dodgy. 75 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:53,080 No, no, no, no. 76 00:03:53,420 --> 00:03:56,120 For my benefit. It must have records and receipts, you know. 77 00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:58,720 Chaos, otherwise. Probably have a nervous breakdown or something. 78 00:03:59,160 --> 00:04:00,920 Please, your name and address. 79 00:04:01,860 --> 00:04:02,860 Michael Sparrow. 80 00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:05,680 Paradise Hotel. 81 00:04:06,430 --> 00:04:07,670 Slaughterhouse Lane acne, all right. 82 00:04:08,850 --> 00:04:09,850 Michael Sparrow. 83 00:04:09,970 --> 00:04:11,050 Michael Sparrow. 84 00:04:11,350 --> 00:04:12,850 Michael Sparrow. Yeah. 85 00:04:14,390 --> 00:04:16,510 That's your name, Michael Sparrow? Yeah. 86 00:04:17,070 --> 00:04:18,470 You're Michael Sparrow? 87 00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:21,010 Is he a bit deaf? 88 00:04:22,310 --> 00:04:23,590 No, he's a bit gobsmacked. 89 00:04:24,630 --> 00:04:25,870 Have you got any more of this stuff? 90 00:04:26,130 --> 00:04:27,130 Oh, there is more, yeah. 91 00:04:27,550 --> 00:04:30,710 Quite a bit more, but I didn't know whether you'd be interested. Yes, yes, I 92 00:04:30,750 --> 00:04:31,549 I am interested. 93 00:04:31,550 --> 00:04:32,690 I have to see you again, son. 94 00:04:35,340 --> 00:04:36,079 Um, Sunday. 95 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:37,960 On Sunday. Or whenever's convenient. 96 00:04:38,500 --> 00:04:39,660 All right. When? 97 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:42,400 You said Sunday. 98 00:04:42,620 --> 00:04:45,880 No, no, um, tomorrow. Come tomorrow. Um, about seven, okay? 99 00:04:46,180 --> 00:04:47,180 Okay. 100 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:57,960 Fiver? Oh, uh... Um, 101 00:04:58,060 --> 00:05:00,560 your mum. Gary, you don't want to know. 102 00:05:00,780 --> 00:05:01,780 What about my mum? 103 00:05:02,460 --> 00:05:03,460 Is she still... 104 00:05:05,610 --> 00:05:07,370 She knows you're selling this stuff, does she? 105 00:05:09,970 --> 00:05:12,290 Do you think I'd nick stuff off my own mother? 106 00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:18,550 That was my son. 107 00:05:19,670 --> 00:05:20,890 My son, Michael. 108 00:05:22,110 --> 00:05:23,690 Michael Sparrow. My son. 109 00:05:24,150 --> 00:05:26,210 He's a big lad for a two -year -old, isn't he? 110 00:05:28,610 --> 00:05:29,770 Ron, did you see him? 111 00:05:30,470 --> 00:05:31,970 He was virtually in rags. 112 00:05:33,770 --> 00:05:35,170 No, I've got to help them somehow. 113 00:05:35,550 --> 00:05:39,130 Well, next time you see him, slip him a couple of grand. No, no, not a handout. 114 00:05:39,190 --> 00:05:40,169 Go back. 115 00:05:40,170 --> 00:05:41,170 Change his life. 116 00:05:41,550 --> 00:05:44,670 Make sure he doesn't end up living in Slaughterhouse Lane. If that's his real 117 00:05:44,670 --> 00:05:46,270 address, it's a bit Charles Dickens, isn't it? 118 00:05:46,850 --> 00:05:48,410 Yeah. Yeah, you're right. 119 00:05:49,190 --> 00:05:51,410 Look, when he comes back tomorrow, you're going to have to follow him for 120 00:05:51,430 --> 00:05:52,470 Find out where he really lives. 121 00:05:52,810 --> 00:05:54,470 I've got to find out more about him, Ron. 122 00:05:54,930 --> 00:05:58,750 I've got to find out if Phoebe is still... Is that a good idea, Gary? 123 00:05:59,930 --> 00:06:01,290 These things are better left alone. 124 00:06:02,990 --> 00:06:07,830 It is the policy of my company, Nature Boy Worldwide, never to test our 125 00:06:07,830 --> 00:06:13,350 on animals, to use only renewable and environmentally friendly ingredients, 126 00:06:13,350 --> 00:06:17,130 to donate 10 % of our profits to third world causes. 127 00:06:17,850 --> 00:06:22,510 In this way, we hope to show that beauty needn't be beastly. 128 00:06:25,670 --> 00:06:27,910 Back away from podium. 129 00:06:28,190 --> 00:06:30,570 Wave, smile, wave again. 130 00:06:31,980 --> 00:06:34,680 Catch heel on carpet, fall on bum, look complete pram. 131 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:39,840 What's all that clap, clap, wave, wave Elvis has left the building? 132 00:06:40,220 --> 00:06:43,400 It's the Millennium Conference, Gary. I have been asked to speak. 133 00:06:43,820 --> 00:06:44,820 Everyone will be there. 134 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:45,859 I won't. 135 00:06:45,860 --> 00:06:50,320 No, of course you won't. Me with Tony Blair on one hand and Peter Mandelson on 136 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:50,939 the other. 137 00:06:50,940 --> 00:06:52,120 When your fingers go to sleep. 138 00:06:53,220 --> 00:06:55,360 A chance to make a real difference, Gary. 139 00:06:55,620 --> 00:06:59,660 Big business helping the poor and downtrodden, helping to change people's 140 00:06:59,740 --> 00:07:00,940 Wouldn't you like to be able to do that? 141 00:07:01,490 --> 00:07:02,490 Yes, I would. 142 00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:06,530 There is every chance that I shall feature strongly in the Millennium Dome 143 00:07:06,530 --> 00:07:07,630 Scratch and Smith module. 144 00:07:11,410 --> 00:07:12,910 Well, I'd certainly pay to see that. 145 00:07:14,230 --> 00:07:16,550 Does the word negative mean anything to you, Gary? 146 00:07:16,810 --> 00:07:17,810 Less than nothing. 147 00:07:18,930 --> 00:07:21,330 Sorry. Had an upsetting day, you know. 148 00:07:21,890 --> 00:07:26,690 This down -and -out came into the shop and reminded me of someone I used to 149 00:07:26,690 --> 00:07:27,690 know. 150 00:07:27,970 --> 00:07:29,090 Really down on his luck. 151 00:07:33,090 --> 00:07:34,930 That's why we need movers and shakers. 152 00:07:35,450 --> 00:07:39,050 That's why I'm on my way to the House to submit my speech to the Millennium 153 00:07:39,050 --> 00:07:40,050 Committee. 154 00:07:40,110 --> 00:07:41,150 I've called it. 155 00:07:41,610 --> 00:07:45,410 We must change the future because we cannot change the past. 156 00:07:46,530 --> 00:07:47,630 Depends which way you're travelling. 157 00:07:57,150 --> 00:08:00,530 A point of stout, Gary lad. A point of stout. 158 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,840 Well, you've suddenly got a sharp eye for detail, Reg. I'll give you that 159 00:08:04,060 --> 00:08:07,280 I've been looking at it and thinking it's a bit like life in a funny old way. 160 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:11,640 But more like a pint of stout. Oh, yeah, much more like a pint of stout. I agree 161 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:12,319 with you there. 162 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:16,580 But sometimes you look at life from a certain angle and it seems a bit black. 163 00:08:17,420 --> 00:08:18,460 Like a pint of stout? 164 00:08:18,860 --> 00:08:22,360 Exactly. But if you look at life from a different angle... It looks even more 165 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:23,900 like a pint of stout. Yes. 166 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:25,800 No. 167 00:08:26,180 --> 00:08:27,180 Where's Michael? 168 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:29,380 Marge is taking him and Frankie to a birthday party. 169 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:30,920 Oh. Down a craze. 170 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:36,039 Well... Let's have a look, then. 171 00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:37,980 What? My song. 172 00:08:38,380 --> 00:08:39,919 Come on, let's hear a few bars. 173 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:42,039 Oh, Phoebe, I haven't had time. 174 00:08:43,580 --> 00:08:44,580 You promised. 175 00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:48,680 Well, there is a war on, you know. Tell her, Reg. 176 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:51,440 Oh, yes, definitely a war on, Phoebe. You can't argue with that. 177 00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:53,880 It's only a song. He's written hundreds. 178 00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:55,540 Shut the one she's after, Gary. 179 00:08:56,070 --> 00:08:57,070 Songs don't write themselves. 180 00:08:57,790 --> 00:08:59,210 Yeah, I can vouch for that, Phoebe. 181 00:09:00,070 --> 00:09:01,590 How long did Yellow Submarine take? 182 00:09:01,930 --> 00:09:03,390 Yeah, not a lot in that one, is there? 183 00:09:03,890 --> 00:09:04,890 What do you mean, not a lot? 184 00:09:05,130 --> 00:09:09,310 We all live in a Yellow Submarine, a Yellow Submarine, a Yellow Submarine. 185 00:09:09,570 --> 00:09:11,630 We all live in a... Yeah, all right, all right. 186 00:09:11,990 --> 00:09:13,230 Well, there's no need to have a go at Reg. 187 00:09:13,530 --> 00:09:16,150 It's my right, I'll have a go at whoever I want. All right, have a go at me, 188 00:09:16,190 --> 00:09:17,190 then. Right, I will. 189 00:09:19,110 --> 00:09:21,630 I'm sorry, Gary, it doesn't matter. I'm just being daft, innit? 190 00:09:22,330 --> 00:09:26,050 Thinking of myself up there with Vera Lynn and Marlena Dietrich. 191 00:09:28,390 --> 00:09:29,390 I've written it. 192 00:09:29,830 --> 00:09:34,250 Well, more or less written it. I just need some words and notes. 193 00:09:34,570 --> 00:09:38,190 I knew you wouldn't let me down. 194 00:09:44,810 --> 00:09:45,810 MGBGT. 195 00:09:46,090 --> 00:09:47,090 NBG. 196 00:09:47,390 --> 00:09:48,650 You should play tonight yourself. 197 00:09:48,930 --> 00:09:50,910 I've tried that. Only got one reply. 198 00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:53,260 That was from a bloke who works on an oil rig. 199 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:58,660 Come on, Gary, you've got two wives. You know what women want. You do it. Write 200 00:09:58,660 --> 00:09:59,339 me an ad. 201 00:09:59,340 --> 00:10:00,340 I haven't the time. 202 00:10:00,740 --> 00:10:01,740 Oh, really? 203 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:05,040 But I've got time to follow your son through the highways and byways of East 204 00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:07,400 London. All right, all right. I'll do it after this. 205 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,000 What are you doing? 206 00:10:09,220 --> 00:10:10,500 Writing a song for Phoebe. 207 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:14,300 One kiss, one sigh. Words and music by Benny Bingham. 208 00:10:14,940 --> 00:10:15,940 You're ripping it off. 209 00:10:15,980 --> 00:10:19,580 Yeah, of course. I'm not a songwriter, am I? So you're stealing someone else's 210 00:10:19,580 --> 00:10:20,900 song? No. Look. 211 00:10:21,340 --> 00:10:24,420 Written in 1946, two years after me. 212 00:10:24,700 --> 00:10:25,980 If anyone's nicking it, he is. 213 00:10:26,260 --> 00:10:28,440 And what about Benny Billings royalties? 214 00:10:28,980 --> 00:10:32,240 Check with the music publisher. Song never made a penny. 215 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:34,240 Look, I'm not ripping anyone off. 216 00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:39,800 The lot is about it, then. 217 00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:42,380 So, nothing you want to keep? 218 00:10:42,700 --> 00:10:43,700 What for? 219 00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:44,860 I don't know. 220 00:10:45,900 --> 00:10:46,900 Sentimental value? 221 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,760 I can't afford to be sentimental when you don't know where the next strong 222 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:54,760 lager's coming from, son. 223 00:10:58,020 --> 00:10:59,880 What? I don't know. 224 00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:02,740 You remind me of somebody I can't think of who it is. 225 00:11:04,020 --> 00:11:06,240 Well, lots of people say that. 226 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:08,520 One of those faiths, you know. 227 00:11:08,980 --> 00:11:10,700 Very ordinary faith. Very common. 228 00:11:11,780 --> 00:11:15,980 Reminds people of... Right, 20 quid. 229 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:17,760 What? 30. 230 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:19,019 Oh, OK. 231 00:11:19,020 --> 00:11:20,020 50. 232 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:22,000 All right, yeah? Yeah, 75. 233 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:23,880 75 pounds. I'm sorry, it's the best I can make. 234 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:26,160 Lovely, thank you. All right, all right. 100. 235 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:27,720 100 quid. That's my last one. 236 00:11:29,460 --> 00:11:31,120 Blimey, you drive our bargain, don't you? 237 00:11:32,980 --> 00:11:34,120 All right, I'll take it. 238 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:48,060 I've got it now. I know who you remind me of. 239 00:11:48,860 --> 00:11:49,860 My dad. 240 00:11:51,370 --> 00:11:54,290 When he was younger, of course, but there's quite a resemblance. 241 00:11:55,010 --> 00:11:56,310 Only he was taller. 242 00:11:58,550 --> 00:11:59,950 Not quite so weedy. 243 00:12:02,090 --> 00:12:03,170 Much better looking. 244 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:34,620 Goodbye. Very nice. 245 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:36,040 Audience people love it. 246 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:37,440 Audiences? 247 00:12:37,700 --> 00:12:39,980 I'm not sure about that. Everyone looking at you. 248 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:41,820 Doesn't it make you feel a bit queer? 249 00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:44,000 No more than usual, my dear. 250 00:12:44,220 --> 00:12:45,220 Now, listen. 251 00:12:45,320 --> 00:12:49,620 Why don't I arrange a little appearance at the Raindrop Club? Your debut. 252 00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:51,040 You could wear that pretty dress. 253 00:12:51,260 --> 00:12:52,820 Well, hold on. Oh, I'd love to. 254 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:55,100 Yeah, but I don't think she's ready, do you? 255 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:58,120 Well, the song needs a lot of work. Surely not. 256 00:12:58,340 --> 00:13:00,380 Oh, yeah. Yeah, twiddly bits are all wrong. 257 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:05,000 The twiddly bits and the bits between the up and down bits. 258 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:09,080 Twiddly bits are Gary's speciality. In Hollywood, they loved his twiddly bits. 259 00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:13,220 Of course, my dear. Anyone with his grasp of twiddly bits is bound to 260 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:15,640 Oh, I'll go. 261 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:16,800 He's been a bit restless. 262 00:13:19,860 --> 00:13:22,740 I simply loved your twiddly bits, dear boy. 263 00:13:22,980 --> 00:13:24,560 A little reminiscent of Cole Porter. 264 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:27,280 Oh, you think so? I'm a great fan of his. Oh, really? 265 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:31,000 I must introduce you. He has a remarkable eye for fresh talent. 266 00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:35,920 Thanks for the warning. 267 00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:40,660 Oh, I didn't hear Noel leave. 268 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,580 He's quite light on his feet, isn't he? Oh, definitely. 269 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:45,719 How's Michael? 270 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:47,380 Oh, he's fine. Just a bad dream. 271 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:51,420 You know, Gary, I look at him sleeping in his little cot and I think to myself, 272 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,060 what'll happen to him? 273 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:54,400 What'll he become? 274 00:13:55,020 --> 00:13:57,860 I don't mean will he be prime minister or film star. 275 00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:01,040 Just... will he be happy? 276 00:14:01,260 --> 00:14:02,260 Of course. 277 00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:03,300 Of course he will. 278 00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:05,720 He's a lovely little fella, our son. 279 00:14:06,020 --> 00:14:07,200 Yes. Yes, he is. 280 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:09,600 I'd do anything to make him happy. 281 00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:10,900 Me too. 282 00:14:12,740 --> 00:14:13,740 Me too. 283 00:14:13,980 --> 00:14:17,780 Michael does live in Hackney. The Paradise Hotel is a flop house between a 284 00:14:17,780 --> 00:14:20,520 shop and a place that specialises in slightly soiled wedding dresses. 285 00:14:21,200 --> 00:14:22,420 Is this wise, Gary? 286 00:14:23,020 --> 00:14:24,500 Wouldn't it be better to leave well enough alone? 287 00:14:25,020 --> 00:14:27,260 And condemn my own son to a life of misery? 288 00:14:27,820 --> 00:14:30,820 I can't leave him in Hackney, Ron. That's tantamount to child abuse. 289 00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:32,300 You think so? 290 00:14:32,460 --> 00:14:34,160 I had quite a lively evening down there. 291 00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:39,340 Went into a pub, had a fair few lagers, debated geopolitics with a lady wrestler 292 00:14:39,340 --> 00:14:40,940 who had a pierced ear, nose and throat. 293 00:14:41,420 --> 00:14:43,800 Fell over a couple of times and then got a doner for the bus. 294 00:14:44,620 --> 00:14:46,000 You ate a doner kebab? 295 00:14:46,660 --> 00:14:47,660 What was it like? 296 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:49,400 It was very tasty once I got it to keep still. 297 00:14:56,420 --> 00:14:57,960 Look, I haven't got it. 298 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:01,160 I'll get it, but I haven't got it now, all right? 299 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:08,040 Look, Saturday, I'll... I'll have the money for you Saturday. 300 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:10,120 Oh, God. 301 00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:12,500 I thought you were one of Knacker John's every month. 302 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,100 Who? Knacker John owns the rooms. 303 00:15:15,980 --> 00:15:17,060 Why do they call him Knacker? 304 00:15:17,980 --> 00:15:20,260 You owe him a few months' rent, mate. You'll soon find out. 305 00:15:21,560 --> 00:15:22,560 What do you want? 306 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:24,540 Um, the record you sold me. 307 00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:28,090 I looked it up in the catalogue and it's a rare first pressing. 308 00:15:28,530 --> 00:15:31,750 Worth much more than I paid you for it. And I've brought the difference. 309 00:15:32,310 --> 00:15:33,310 How much? 310 00:15:33,670 --> 00:15:34,670 Five hundred. 311 00:15:40,770 --> 00:15:41,770 Blimey, son. 312 00:15:42,050 --> 00:15:44,330 You could have made a bloody good profit there. 313 00:15:44,850 --> 00:15:46,650 Yeah, well, honesty's the best policy. 314 00:15:47,850 --> 00:15:49,390 Didn't your parents ever teach you that? 315 00:15:53,189 --> 00:15:56,310 We're at first precedent. I wonder where she got that from, then. Your dad got 316 00:15:56,310 --> 00:15:57,229 it for her. 317 00:15:57,230 --> 00:15:58,450 Um, don't you think? 318 00:15:58,990 --> 00:15:59,990 Oh, yeah. 319 00:16:00,110 --> 00:16:02,230 He was in MI5 during the war, my dad. 320 00:16:02,990 --> 00:16:04,050 Lays hands on most things. 321 00:16:05,470 --> 00:16:07,250 Remember he gave me a transistor radio once? 322 00:16:07,930 --> 00:16:10,470 It's funny, because as far as I know, they haven't been invented by then. 323 00:16:12,430 --> 00:16:16,030 Well, I expect it came from America. You know, he had contacts at the embassy. 324 00:16:16,490 --> 00:16:17,490 How do you know? 325 00:16:18,730 --> 00:16:21,910 Well, you know, MI5, CIA, nodding a wink, really. 326 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:24,800 Sounds like a nice bloke, your dad. 327 00:16:26,180 --> 00:16:27,200 Records, radios. 328 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,320 Well, good at presents. 329 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,800 Not so good at being around when you needed him, always sloping off 330 00:16:33,540 --> 00:16:36,700 I used to think he'd got another woman tucked away somewhere. No, I'm sure it 331 00:16:36,700 --> 00:16:38,500 wasn't like that. You mustn't think that, Michael. 332 00:16:38,720 --> 00:16:39,720 Well, what's he to you? 333 00:16:41,180 --> 00:16:45,440 Well, I just think it's better to think well of someone if you don't really 334 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:46,560 know. Yeah. 335 00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:49,980 Yeah, that's a nice way of putting it, thanks, son. 336 00:16:50,940 --> 00:16:52,040 What became of your dad? 337 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:53,600 Do I know? 338 00:16:53,860 --> 00:16:54,860 Lost touch with him? 339 00:16:56,320 --> 00:17:01,320 Well, I got in a bad company and I did some time and I couldn't face him after 340 00:17:01,320 --> 00:17:04,160 that. You know how he is, son. Oh, don't call me son. 341 00:17:05,420 --> 00:17:07,079 I mean, the name is Gary. 342 00:17:07,900 --> 00:17:08,699 Gary what? 343 00:17:08,700 --> 00:17:09,699 Gary Sparrow. 344 00:17:09,700 --> 00:17:10,700 No. 345 00:17:11,740 --> 00:17:13,099 Spanner. Gary Spanner. 346 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:15,680 Spanner! 347 00:17:16,859 --> 00:17:18,560 Old English trade name. 348 00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:21,780 Bridge builders, you know. Span this, span that. 349 00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:25,240 What about your mum? 350 00:17:27,079 --> 00:17:28,079 Is she still alive? 351 00:17:28,640 --> 00:17:30,980 Yeah. Rent, you tow rag. 352 00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:32,400 Where's the rent? 353 00:17:32,420 --> 00:17:37,320 How many times do I have to tell you? No rent, no knackers. You take your hands 354 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:38,199 off him. 355 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:42,220 You lay one finger on him and I promise you, I promise you that I will break 356 00:17:42,220 --> 00:17:45,560 your legs, then I will break your arms and then I will jump up and down on you 357 00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:46,560 until you're porridge. 358 00:17:56,860 --> 00:17:59,140 Venom! You take one step, you see what you get. 359 00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:01,200 You are looking at a killing machine. 360 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:04,700 Here, that's what I owe you. 361 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:06,360 And a month in advance. 362 00:18:08,660 --> 00:18:09,660 Right. 363 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:11,240 Fair dues. 364 00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:12,900 Enough said. 365 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:15,180 Credit where credit's due. 366 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:19,960 Warren! 367 00:18:28,220 --> 00:18:29,220 Thanks, Sam. 368 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,480 It's a pity to be out the door. I was reached there for a minute. 369 00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:36,480 And a minute's not long enough, is it? 370 00:18:38,980 --> 00:18:39,980 You all found him? 371 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:44,860 Yeah, I... Look, do you fancy some... 372 00:18:59,470 --> 00:19:03,110 I'll try to simply let you go. 373 00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:06,910 But I've tried that trick before. 374 00:19:10,070 --> 00:19:11,770 You're not supposed to be here, dear boy. 375 00:19:12,330 --> 00:19:13,590 Reg can't keep a secret. 376 00:19:14,570 --> 00:19:16,270 She didn't tell me she was appearing tonight. 377 00:19:16,750 --> 00:19:20,890 No, she's a bit nervous. I think she wanted to see what it felt like being on 378 00:19:20,890 --> 00:19:21,890 stage. 379 00:19:22,190 --> 00:19:23,190 She's wonderful. 380 00:19:23,410 --> 00:19:27,630 Yes, so is the song. My publisher is keen to snap it up. 381 00:19:28,990 --> 00:19:29,949 Publish the song? 382 00:19:29,950 --> 00:19:31,610 Of course. Make it your royalty. 383 00:19:32,530 --> 00:19:34,010 Royalty? Why not? 384 00:19:34,270 --> 00:19:35,990 The money will be rolling in, good boy. 385 00:19:36,370 --> 00:19:39,490 Well, if they did publish the song, could we arrange that the royalties went 386 00:19:39,490 --> 00:19:41,390 Michael? Into a trust fund or something? 387 00:19:41,850 --> 00:19:42,850 Nothing easier. 388 00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:44,150 What a sweet thought. 389 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:19,560 My mother used to like that song. 390 00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:21,720 She still does. 391 00:20:22,340 --> 00:20:25,780 I mean, my wife. She still likes it. 392 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:28,500 I used to live round here. 393 00:20:29,260 --> 00:20:30,239 As a kid, you know. 394 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:31,400 I thought I'd come back, have a look. 395 00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:32,699 Old haunts, you know. 396 00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:33,700 Then I heard the music. 397 00:20:34,420 --> 00:20:35,420 You've been away, have you? 398 00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:36,459 No, no, no. 399 00:20:36,460 --> 00:20:37,460 I live abroad. 400 00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:38,820 Moved to New Zealand. 401 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:41,540 Great business opportunities. Wonderful for the kids. 402 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:43,640 You're in the music business, are you? 403 00:20:44,300 --> 00:20:45,720 No, no, no. What made you think that? 404 00:20:46,380 --> 00:20:47,380 Oh, it's just you... 405 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:48,440 You knew about the record? 406 00:20:48,780 --> 00:20:49,780 No, no. 407 00:20:50,300 --> 00:20:51,300 I'm an engineer. 408 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:52,880 Bill Bridges. 409 00:20:55,180 --> 00:21:01,200 Mind you, my dad was a musician. He wrote a song once, made a few bob. Not a 410 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:04,840 lot, but enough to give me a good start in life. 411 00:21:06,260 --> 00:21:07,260 Good Lord. 412 00:21:08,620 --> 00:21:11,140 My mother used to have a dress exactly like this. 413 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:13,219 How much? 414 00:21:13,220 --> 00:21:14,780 Oh, it's not for sale. 415 00:21:15,260 --> 00:21:19,900 Oh. Surely, I mean... My wife would look wonderful in this. 416 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:21,280 Your wife? 417 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:24,880 20 quid. 418 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:25,960 20, right, thank you. 419 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:27,200 15, sorry. 420 00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:32,000 10, 10 quid. Just call it a fiver, best I can do. 421 00:21:32,620 --> 00:21:34,060 Okay, fiver. 422 00:21:44,220 --> 00:21:45,500 Yes, well, um... 423 00:21:46,909 --> 00:21:53,730 I think I'd better be... You said a great 424 00:21:53,730 --> 00:21:55,430 country for kids, New Zealand. 425 00:21:55,870 --> 00:21:56,950 Yes, so it is, yes. 426 00:21:57,830 --> 00:22:00,250 You've got children, then? Yes, yes. Boy and a girl. 427 00:22:00,950 --> 00:22:01,950 What are their names? 428 00:22:03,330 --> 00:22:04,650 Phoebe, after my mother. 429 00:22:05,630 --> 00:22:06,630 And your son? 430 00:22:07,250 --> 00:22:08,250 Dennis. 431 00:22:10,250 --> 00:22:11,250 What about you? 432 00:22:13,650 --> 00:22:14,650 Yeah, I've got a son. 433 00:22:17,100 --> 00:22:18,100 Doesn't really know me, though. 434 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:23,840 That's a shame. 435 00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:25,720 Yes, it is. 436 00:22:29,360 --> 00:22:34,660 You know, you... You remind me of somebody and I can't think who it is. 437 00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:38,000 Yes, I can. 438 00:22:39,380 --> 00:22:44,840 You're going to think this is Darth, but... You remind me of my dad. 439 00:22:46,190 --> 00:22:49,950 When he was younger, of course, but there's quite a resemblance. 440 00:22:50,990 --> 00:22:51,990 When he was taller. 441 00:22:53,690 --> 00:22:56,050 Not quite so slim. 442 00:22:57,850 --> 00:22:58,850 And better looking. 443 00:22:59,170 --> 00:23:01,450 Well, I wasn't going to mention that. 444 00:23:03,970 --> 00:23:05,570 Cheerio. I'll see you. 445 00:23:05,890 --> 00:23:08,010 Ah, I doubt it. 446 00:23:09,210 --> 00:23:10,330 Back to New Zealand tomorrow. 447 00:23:11,710 --> 00:23:12,710 Bye. 448 00:23:12,970 --> 00:23:14,030 Have a safe journey. 449 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:21,100 Have I just missed Yvonne Sparrow, Queen of the Recycled Tutip? Yeah. 450 00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:22,680 Yep. 451 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:24,180 I'm out in the cold, huh? 452 00:23:25,800 --> 00:23:28,280 Yvonne's conquering the world with her pre -packed algae. 453 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:30,980 Phoebe's hogging the spotlight in 1944. 454 00:23:33,080 --> 00:23:34,140 Well, I'm glad you're here. 455 00:23:34,660 --> 00:23:38,520 Right, who's for a takeaway, then? I'd love to, mate, but tonight I have an 456 00:23:38,520 --> 00:23:40,820 appointment with someone of the opposite sex. 457 00:23:43,850 --> 00:23:46,650 all the loggers. They're for you, mate. They're a thank you for that ad you 458 00:23:46,650 --> 00:23:48,610 wrote for me. It really did the trick. 459 00:23:49,010 --> 00:23:53,130 Sad fat geezer gagging for a WLTM on busses like that. 460 00:23:54,650 --> 00:23:59,530 Brilliant. 27 responses and climbing down the truth. Brilliant. Why didn't I 461 00:23:59,530 --> 00:24:00,289 think of that? 462 00:24:00,290 --> 00:24:01,290 Absolutely brilliant. 463 00:24:01,890 --> 00:24:04,890 Well, I'm pleased for you. I'm just going off to meet number 14. 464 00:24:06,699 --> 00:24:08,960 Busy, busy, Gary. It's like a fairy tale. 465 00:24:09,220 --> 00:24:13,400 No sleep in beauty. Hey, Goldilocks, let's get bare. It's time to put Humpty 466 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:14,400 together again. 467 00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:16,680 Thanks, Gary, and see you. 468 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:18,320 Hi -ho! 469 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:24,400 I'm glad everyone else is happy. 470 00:24:40,750 --> 00:24:43,630 me? Did I look good? I didn't look nervous, did I? Did it go all right? 471 00:24:44,150 --> 00:24:50,290 Um, yes, yes, no, and yes, except for when Ken Livingston kissed you. 472 00:24:50,730 --> 00:24:52,030 I've just come home to change. 473 00:24:52,490 --> 00:24:54,090 Champagne reception at number ten. 474 00:24:54,370 --> 00:24:55,189 Oh, yeah. 475 00:24:55,190 --> 00:24:56,730 Select few, I suppose. 476 00:25:00,150 --> 00:25:01,550 Oh, look, Gary, love. 477 00:25:02,750 --> 00:25:04,810 Do you remember how miserable I was last year? 478 00:25:05,530 --> 00:25:09,250 Yes. Well, all this, it's like a fairy tale and... 479 00:25:09,580 --> 00:25:11,160 And I'm enjoying it, of course I am. 480 00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:14,000 But I'm still me underneath. 481 00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:16,440 Are you? 482 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:17,600 Yeah. 483 00:25:18,420 --> 00:25:19,420 Can I have a look? 484 00:25:21,540 --> 00:25:23,040 Yes, you can, but not now. 485 00:25:23,760 --> 00:25:24,760 Don't wait up, Gary. 486 00:25:24,900 --> 00:25:27,160 I expect to be hobnobbing till dawn. 487 00:25:27,660 --> 00:25:29,800 Yes, well, you can hob, Yvonne, but leave it at that. 488 00:25:35,500 --> 00:25:36,940 Oh, I'm glad you're back, Gary. 489 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:38,880 More do you worry about me if I'm late? 490 00:25:39,230 --> 00:25:41,130 She thinks I won't get set upon in the blackout. 491 00:25:41,630 --> 00:25:42,670 Reg, you're a policeman. 492 00:25:42,910 --> 00:25:45,890 You're supposed to stop other people getting set upon in the blackout. 493 00:25:46,230 --> 00:25:49,150 Yeah. Well, that's why I can't afford to get set upon meself. 494 00:25:49,850 --> 00:25:50,809 Miss Phoebe? 495 00:25:50,810 --> 00:25:51,810 Raindrop Club. 496 00:25:51,830 --> 00:25:52,729 Oh, yeah. 497 00:25:52,730 --> 00:25:53,810 Yeah, I thought she might be there. 498 00:25:54,630 --> 00:25:55,630 Off you go, Reg. 499 00:25:55,750 --> 00:25:56,910 No, you go ahead, Gary. 500 00:25:57,390 --> 00:25:58,670 I'll get back home to Margie. 501 00:25:59,730 --> 00:26:02,090 Nice, isn't it? Knowing someone's worried about you. 502 00:26:02,430 --> 00:26:03,590 Makes you feel like you belong. 503 00:26:04,030 --> 00:26:07,150 Even if it was a long time before you felt you belonged, when you really 504 00:26:07,150 --> 00:26:08,150 to belong all along. 505 00:26:10,770 --> 00:26:11,770 Good night, son. 506 00:26:39,630 --> 00:26:40,629 Go well tonight? 507 00:26:40,630 --> 00:26:41,630 They love me. 508 00:26:41,650 --> 00:26:42,650 Yeah? 509 00:26:42,710 --> 00:26:44,630 Wow, could be the big time for you now, Phoebe. 510 00:26:45,570 --> 00:26:46,570 Name in lights. 511 00:26:47,950 --> 00:26:49,230 Actually, you might want to change that. 512 00:26:50,070 --> 00:26:51,070 Phoebe Sparrow. 513 00:26:51,270 --> 00:26:52,790 Doesn't sound very starry, does it? 514 00:26:53,790 --> 00:26:55,830 How about Phoebe Minnelli? 515 00:26:56,470 --> 00:26:57,990 That's a number one hit, that's what you mean. 516 00:26:58,970 --> 00:27:00,310 You're my number one, Gary. 517 00:27:01,470 --> 00:27:04,830 It's not for me, you know, showbiz. I've told them at the club I'm chucking it 518 00:27:04,830 --> 00:27:07,830 in. Oh, no, no, no. You mustn't do that. 519 00:27:08,540 --> 00:27:10,500 No, you're good. You're very good. 520 00:27:11,220 --> 00:27:13,040 You mustn't quit just for my sake. 521 00:27:13,300 --> 00:27:15,120 No. No, it's for my sake. 522 00:27:15,820 --> 00:27:18,040 I love singing, but I don't want the rest of it. 523 00:27:18,580 --> 00:27:21,500 Doing tours away from home, never here to put Michael to bed. 524 00:27:22,120 --> 00:27:24,560 Me and you seeing even less of each other than we do now. 525 00:27:25,540 --> 00:27:26,540 No. 526 00:27:27,200 --> 00:27:28,380 It's not the life for me. 527 00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:34,080 It's been fun, though, and I'm glad that Noel's going to get the song published. 528 00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:38,820 I think I'd like to sing it again, just one more time. 529 00:27:39,100 --> 00:27:40,100 OK. 530 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:42,160 Raindrop Club tomorrow night. I'll be there. 531 00:27:42,900 --> 00:27:43,900 No, Gary. 532 00:27:44,380 --> 00:27:45,380 Here and now. 533 00:27:45,780 --> 00:27:46,780 Come on. 534 00:27:47,540 --> 00:27:48,540 Just for us. 535 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:17,380 So tell me why your tender kiss hello 536 00:28:17,380 --> 00:28:21,780 becomes a kiss goodbye. 537 00:28:24,180 --> 00:28:29,760 I don't know why you always have to go. 538 00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:33,800 Oh, why I have to cry. 539 00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:40,100 You turn our love from good to bad. 540 00:28:42,730 --> 00:28:49,170 The only love I ever had One kiss, 541 00:28:49,190 --> 00:28:53,850 one sigh, hello, goodbye 40264

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