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Good night, sweetheart.
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00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:10,080
All my prayers are for you. Good night,
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00:00:10,100 --> 00:00:15,640
sweetheart. I'll be watching over you.
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00:00:15,960 --> 00:00:21,840
Tears and crying may make us alone.
5
00:00:22,980 --> 00:00:29,440
But with the dawn, a new day is born.
6
00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:42,160
I reckon this is the worst party since
Charlton Dye's tenth wedding
7
00:00:43,780 --> 00:00:45,860
I mean, where is everyone? Where are the
faces?
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In the kitchen, of course.
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00:00:47,500 --> 00:00:49,140
You remember that old Jonah Louie
record?
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00:00:49,460 --> 00:00:51,920
You will always find me in the kitchen,
I thought.
11
00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:54,580
Yeah. I wonder what became of Jonah
Louie.
12
00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:56,040
Probably still in the kitchen.
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00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:00,300
Why is it whenever you go to a party
there's a completely empty living room
14
00:01:00,300 --> 00:01:02,040
yet the kitchen's like the black hole of
Cricklewood?
15
00:01:02,500 --> 00:01:03,980
I think you mean Calcutta.
16
00:01:05,080 --> 00:01:06,080
Yeah, I know.
17
00:01:06,220 --> 00:01:07,820
I just said Cricklewood because...
18
00:01:08,060 --> 00:01:09,280
You know, this is Cripplewood.
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00:01:10,580 --> 00:01:12,040
By way of being a joke, really.
20
00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:13,800
Oh!
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00:01:14,460 --> 00:01:17,800
Only there is a lot of Indian food in
the kitchen, and I thought that's what
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00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:18,800
might be alluding to.
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00:01:19,340 --> 00:01:21,360
Chicken tikka nuggets, I ask you.
24
00:01:21,660 --> 00:01:25,040
My fingers look like I'm on 60 caps from
full strength a day.
25
00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:26,520
And the music.
26
00:01:26,860 --> 00:01:28,840
Compared to this, Boney M were talented.
27
00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:31,260
I've got some good stuff, though. Look
at this.
28
00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:33,420
Lightning Slim, John Lee Hooker.
29
00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:35,040
Sonny Boy Williams.
30
00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:36,160
You like him?
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00:01:44,639 --> 00:01:46,220
Gary, people want to dance.
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What people?
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I don't see any people.
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Do you want to dance?
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Ron, no, thank you, Gary. I think I'll
sit this one out.
36
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,900
In fact, I think I'll give this whole
lousy party a miss.
37
00:02:00,300 --> 00:02:04,300
I only got dragged along because my
Stella's on the same open university
38
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as our hostess, whom I presume that was.
Yeah, I see, Ron. Right.
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00:02:08,900 --> 00:02:10,500
Nice tight little bum, I thought.
40
00:02:10,759 --> 00:02:11,760
Yeah.
41
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:15,680
Though she did strike me as a bit of a
madam. Yes, yes, I noticed that too.
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00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:20,140
Anyhow, I took the precaution of sussing
out where the nearest real ale hostel
43
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,100
is, so I think I shall repair then.
44
00:02:22,380 --> 00:02:26,260
Do you fancy a good drink? Oh, I'd love
one, Ron, but I can't really leave. Why
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00:02:26,260 --> 00:02:27,440
not? It's my party.
46
00:02:29,140 --> 00:02:30,140
Oh, no.
47
00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:31,900
No, tell me you're kidding.
48
00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:33,880
I'm sorry.
49
00:02:33,940 --> 00:02:34,960
I'm so sorry.
50
00:02:35,849 --> 00:02:38,890
So Yvonne, with the tight little bum, is
your... My wife, yeah.
51
00:02:40,090 --> 00:02:43,570
What I said about her was completely out
of order. Oh, it did. It was, Ron.
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00:02:44,090 --> 00:02:46,670
They're perfectly accurate on both the
madam and bottom fronts.
53
00:02:47,670 --> 00:02:51,550
And if it's your birthday, her bottom
notwithstanding, why didn't you insist
54
00:02:51,550 --> 00:02:53,950
Sonny Boy Williamson and pork pies?
That's right.
55
00:02:54,530 --> 00:02:58,030
But ever since she started this
psychology course, she's become so adept
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00:02:58,030 --> 00:03:00,090
manipulating me, I can't get a thought
in edgeways.
57
00:03:00,690 --> 00:03:03,330
I don't mind my style of doing this open
university course.
58
00:03:03,900 --> 00:03:06,620
It's better than when she was out every
night boozing and getting into fights.
59
00:03:09,020 --> 00:03:11,960
Trouble with women is they always know
how to make men feel like little boys.
60
00:03:12,580 --> 00:03:14,140
It'd be different if I'd ever killed
anything.
61
00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:15,900
How so?
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00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:20,380
Well, I mean, you know, what we men lack
in society today is a right of passage.
63
00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:22,720
Our fathers, they did national service.
64
00:03:22,940 --> 00:03:24,440
Their fathers fought in the war.
65
00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:27,560
Experiences which marked their shift
into manhood, you know.
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00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:32,120
I mean, in A Man Named Horse, Richard
Harris was suspended by his nipples in
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00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:33,400
order to be accepted as a saint.
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00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,640
I'd bloody serve if they did that to me.
69
00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:39,660
And then, of course, you've got your
apprenticeship system.
70
00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:43,360
I mean, when my grandad, right, he did
his five years as a cooper.
71
00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:45,180
Learning to make barrels. Yes, the very
trade.
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00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:49,160
They marked his entry into manhood by
coating him in brewer's malt, shutting
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00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:52,300
in a barrel, rolling him down five
flights of factory steps and into the
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00:03:53,020 --> 00:03:54,780
It's a moment right with symbolism,
that.
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00:03:55,920 --> 00:03:58,820
All right, he was so badly injured he
was never actually able to ply his new
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00:03:58,820 --> 00:04:01,340
trade. I fully comprehend, Gaz.
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00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,780
I think that's why I feel like a man.
78
00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:08,380
You see, I was one of the last people to
do the old hot metal print
79
00:04:08,380 --> 00:04:12,780
apprenticeships, after which I was
covered head to toe in printer's ink and
80
00:04:12,780 --> 00:04:14,820
thrust stark naked into the ladies'
toilet.
81
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:17,380
That's better than being a cooper,
though.
82
00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:19,200
Happy days.
83
00:04:19,880 --> 00:04:20,880
So what do you do?
84
00:04:20,959 --> 00:04:21,959
Oh, I'm in television.
85
00:04:23,660 --> 00:04:24,980
You're not famous, are you?
86
00:04:25,460 --> 00:04:27,160
Have you been in anything I've heard of?
87
00:04:27,420 --> 00:04:28,420
Well, it depends.
88
00:04:28,860 --> 00:04:30,340
You heard of Rumbelows? I'm sorry?
89
00:04:31,460 --> 00:04:32,460
Televisions, plural.
90
00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:33,540
I repair them.
91
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:34,720
Well, used to.
92
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:36,220
Seldom go wrong, these days.
93
00:04:36,660 --> 00:04:39,360
And since the Who stopped touring, you
don't even get to pick the one they've
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00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:40,360
thrown out of hotel windows.
95
00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:45,220
It wasn't your apprenticeship capped
with some satisfyingly pseudo -tribal
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00:04:45,220 --> 00:04:46,380
ceremony. Yeah.
97
00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:50,200
Close as I came to a rite of passage
with being forced to watch Blankety
98
00:04:58,080 --> 00:05:02,600
the unsuccessful negotiation of which
will invigorate new races or a psychosis
99
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:03,600
in later life.
100
00:05:03,740 --> 00:05:10,500
As we know, the most crass of popular
fiction, that the fundamental
101
00:05:10,500 --> 00:05:15,820
motivational factor in male
psychological development is the urge to
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00:05:15,820 --> 00:05:18,160
father and impregnate the mother.
103
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:25,080
I'm really glad we paid extra for that
red -hot Dutch decoder. Gary, if you're
104
00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:27,400
going to be behind with my course, I
have to watch this.
105
00:05:27,620 --> 00:05:29,200
Yeah, that's a night of all nights.
106
00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:33,220
It's my birthday. Oh, no, it was your
birthday yesterday, remember?
107
00:05:33,660 --> 00:05:38,160
I gave you an expensive Mont Blanc
rollerball, and you said in that silky
108
00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:41,720
boy voice you do so well, oh, it's just
the job to do my worksheets with.
109
00:05:42,020 --> 00:05:43,480
Well, I'm sorry, Ron, I was
disappointed.
110
00:05:44,340 --> 00:05:47,700
When you promised me something sleek,
black and German, I was expecting a BMW.
111
00:05:49,900 --> 00:05:51,580
Well, at least a date with Boris
Becker's girlfriend.
112
00:05:52,980 --> 00:05:54,700
Don't you want me to get my psychology
degree?
113
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:56,360
Don't you want me to get promoted?
114
00:05:56,900 --> 00:06:00,500
Don't you want us to be able to move off
this estate of starter homes into a
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00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:03,080
house where when the neighbours pull the
chain, your shower water doesn't give
116
00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:04,100
you second -degree burn?
117
00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:08,180
Look, all I know, you are never going to
get a psychology degree if you lack the
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00:06:08,180 --> 00:06:11,580
insight that on his birthday, your
husband expects a leg -over.
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00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:16,440
And at the risk of sounding
conventional, is sex all you think
120
00:06:17,400 --> 00:06:18,400
Yes.
121
00:06:20,010 --> 00:06:21,410
Except when I'm actually doing it.
122
00:06:22,250 --> 00:06:25,270
Then I think about John Selwyn Gummer. I
find it helps me last longer.
123
00:06:26,610 --> 00:06:29,170
John Selwyn Gummer, eh? That's very
interesting.
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00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:35,390
Well, so, open university and closed
legs, is it, right? No.
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00:06:36,790 --> 00:06:41,670
Gary, as soon as I've finished this, I
promise to give you such a Theracine
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00:06:41,670 --> 00:06:45,070
that for the rest of the month you'll be
hard -pressed to erect as much as a
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00:06:45,070 --> 00:06:46,070
satellite dish.
128
00:06:47,130 --> 00:06:48,270
Now, just be patient.
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00:06:48,830 --> 00:06:52,230
I don't demand physical gratification in
the middle of a Super Bowl, do I?
130
00:06:52,930 --> 00:06:53,930
All right.
131
00:06:54,210 --> 00:06:56,570
Well, if I fall asleep, wake me up
before you go -go.
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00:06:58,110 --> 00:07:00,150
Gary? Oh, that was quick. Right, come
on.
133
00:07:00,390 --> 00:07:02,370
No, the video's on the blink again.
134
00:07:02,970 --> 00:07:03,970
Oh, is it?
135
00:07:08,610 --> 00:07:13,410
Why is it everywhere you want to find in
the A to Z is always in a crease?
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00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:26,820
Excuse me, I'm looking for Hugh
Gatesgill House.
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00:07:27,040 --> 00:07:29,980
I've got to pick up a telly. Hugh
Gatesgill House, yes.
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00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:32,760
Always admired Hugh Gatesgill.
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00:07:33,300 --> 00:07:37,680
That shame he died so young. He made a
wonderful Prime Minister.
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00:07:38,460 --> 00:07:41,020
Might have changed the course of British
history.
141
00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:42,780
I'm sure, but where's his house?
142
00:07:43,100 --> 00:07:44,100
Yes, of course.
143
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:47,560
Sorry. Always do tend to go off on
tangents.
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00:07:48,200 --> 00:07:51,040
That's what they said last time I failed
my sergeant's interview.
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00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:54,180
Hugh goes for House.
146
00:07:54,400 --> 00:07:58,360
Yes. Best thing to do is take your first
right, first left until you come to
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00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:01,020
Duckett's Passage. Go down Duckett's
Passage, take your first right, second
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00:08:01,020 --> 00:08:02,020
left, and you can't miss it.
149
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:04,640
But if you do miss it, ask at the Royal
Oaks.
150
00:08:05,420 --> 00:08:06,420
Cheers.
151
00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:15,580
Oh, excuse me, I'm looking for Hugh
Gatesgill House.
152
00:09:18,900 --> 00:09:20,140
Hugh Gatesgill House, anyone?
153
00:09:21,680 --> 00:09:22,720
You're a starter for ten.
154
00:09:25,420 --> 00:09:26,420
Excuse me.
155
00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:33,080
Oh, it's a theme pub, isn't it?
156
00:09:34,520 --> 00:09:37,000
Of course it is. Yeah, very convincing.
157
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:38,660
Oh, hello.
158
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:42,580
I haven't seen you in here before. What
can I get you? Actually, I just came in
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00:09:42,580 --> 00:09:44,520
for directions. I'm looking for Hugh
Gatesgill House.
160
00:09:44,740 --> 00:09:47,280
Oh, sorry. It means nothing to me. Are
you sure it's round here?
161
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,220
Well, I asked the copper. He said it was
just round the corner.
162
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:53,560
Sorry. Oh, Dad might know, though. He
knows everything, he thinks.
163
00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,380
Dad! Oh, for Mo, I'm coming up.
164
00:10:00,420 --> 00:10:03,960
What is it? Oh, this gentleman wants to
know where Hugh Gatesgill lives.
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00:10:04,220 --> 00:10:05,280
Hugh Gatesgill?
166
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:06,900
Don't ring a bell with me.
167
00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:11,360
Is Hugh Gateskill a regular? No, not
Hugh Gateskill. Hugh Gateskill House.
168
00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:12,619
It's a tower block.
169
00:10:12,620 --> 00:10:13,620
A what?
170
00:10:14,520 --> 00:10:17,600
Here, what do you want to know for,
anyway? You're not from round these
171
00:10:17,780 --> 00:10:18,219
are you?
172
00:10:18,220 --> 00:10:19,260
No, I'm from Cricklewood.
173
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:20,920
As luck would have it.
174
00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:22,480
Cricklewood?
175
00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:23,920
That's south of the river, is it?
176
00:10:24,340 --> 00:10:27,100
No. Well, have we declared war on South
London or something?
177
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:31,640
Don't you cheat me, you young pup. I was
in both battles of the Somme.
178
00:10:32,060 --> 00:10:34,120
I'm entitled to ask. We've got to be
careful.
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00:10:34,740 --> 00:10:36,040
Careless talk costs lives.
180
00:10:37,329 --> 00:10:39,590
Oh, gotcha. Yeah, I have to stay in
period.
181
00:10:39,830 --> 00:10:40,830
Right. Eh?
182
00:10:41,390 --> 00:10:44,830
Well, I must say, you might be taking
this 1940s theme a bit too far.
183
00:10:45,410 --> 00:10:48,750
I mean, for a start, it doesn't seem to
be much of a hit with a crucial 18 to 25
184
00:10:48,750 --> 00:10:49,750
-year -old.
185
00:10:50,370 --> 00:10:52,770
Eh? I mean, where's the younger
generation?
186
00:10:53,010 --> 00:10:54,010
Where are they?
187
00:10:54,610 --> 00:10:57,690
I'll tell you where the younger
generation are. They've taken the king's
188
00:10:57,690 --> 00:10:58,690
shilling. Ah.
189
00:10:59,090 --> 00:11:00,990
What's the king going to do when his gas
goes out, eh?
190
00:11:07,020 --> 00:11:08,380
takes it all very seriously.
191
00:11:08,680 --> 00:11:09,680
Seriously?
192
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,940
Britain stands alone, girl.
193
00:11:12,220 --> 00:11:14,040
The Hun is poised to invade.
194
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:18,160
Adolph's panthers are gunning their
engines even as we speak. Of course I
195
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,160
it seriously.
196
00:11:20,420 --> 00:11:23,100
And I'd like to know why you're not in
blinking uniform.
197
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:27,480
Oh, um, I'm afraid I'm not at liberty to
divulge that information.
198
00:11:28,140 --> 00:11:29,400
Careless talk, all that.
199
00:11:30,180 --> 00:11:32,260
Oh, oh, oh, I see.
200
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,800
Right you are, sir.
201
00:11:36,020 --> 00:11:37,020
Mum's the word.
202
00:11:38,860 --> 00:11:40,440
Does he do how much of dramatics you're
doing?
203
00:11:41,380 --> 00:11:43,000
I've got to say, he's bloody good.
204
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:45,040
Oi!
205
00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:46,540
Ladies present.
206
00:11:49,700 --> 00:11:51,440
Well, I've seen as I'm here, I think
I'll have a drink.
207
00:11:51,660 --> 00:11:53,200
I don't suppose you do lager?
208
00:11:53,500 --> 00:11:54,339
Do what?
209
00:11:54,340 --> 00:11:55,340
No, of course you don't.
210
00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:59,240
All right, a pint of best then. Oh,
sorry, Dad's only serving half for the
211
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,860
duration. Oh, right.
212
00:12:01,100 --> 00:12:02,260
OK, well, half then.
213
00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:05,140
And how much will that be, pray?
214
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:06,500
Sixpence eight me?
215
00:12:06,580 --> 00:12:08,920
Where do you think you are, the rich?
216
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:10,780
It's Tubbins Farthing.
217
00:12:13,340 --> 00:12:14,360
Happy hour, is it?
218
00:12:15,800 --> 00:12:16,800
Happy?
219
00:12:17,020 --> 00:12:19,640
When it went up from Tubbins, there was
nearly a riot.
220
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:24,200
Oh, come on, seriously, how much? I told
you, Tubbins Farthing.
221
00:12:31,100 --> 00:12:32,900
Would you excuse me a minute?
222
00:12:56,220 --> 00:12:58,720
Look, there's the entire street on this
theme, Mark.
223
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,320
Theme?
224
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:01,720
All right, son.
225
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:04,780
Well, you told me to ask in here about
Hugh Gatsgall House, you remember?
226
00:13:05,060 --> 00:13:06,100
And they all blamed me.
227
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:09,300
And they frightened I'm a spy from the
brewery trying to catch them out of
228
00:13:09,300 --> 00:13:10,199
character or something.
229
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,280
I sincerely hope you're not a spy, son.
230
00:13:12,980 --> 00:13:14,920
Now, who was it you were asking after?
231
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:16,960
Hugh Gatsgall, was it?
232
00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:19,440
No, you gave me directions not half an
hour ago.
233
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,300
Must have been another Bobby, son.
234
00:13:21,790 --> 00:13:25,650
Half an hour ago, I was doing a
bandaging demonstration for the ARP in
235
00:13:25,650 --> 00:13:26,650
Christadelphian Hall.
236
00:13:27,150 --> 00:13:28,150
Standing room only.
237
00:13:29,090 --> 00:13:31,310
That might have been more to do with the
appeal of Mrs.
238
00:13:31,830 --> 00:13:32,830
Hardcastle's rock cakes.
239
00:13:37,330 --> 00:13:37,710
Of
240
00:13:37,710 --> 00:13:48,450
course.
241
00:13:48,830 --> 00:13:49,830
It's not a theme club.
242
00:13:50,780 --> 00:13:51,780
It's a dream.
243
00:13:52,140 --> 00:13:53,140
I'm asleep.
244
00:13:53,620 --> 00:13:55,540
Oh, that's all right then.
245
00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:58,440
I wonder if I'll get my leg over that
bar, mate.
246
00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:02,040
I'm just going to turn into my Auntie
Enid like they usually do.
247
00:14:04,420 --> 00:14:05,420
Significance of that.
248
00:14:12,880 --> 00:14:16,000
Oh, sorry I rushed out like that, but I
thought I saw Vera Lynn walking down the
249
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,000
road with Winston Churchill.
250
00:14:18,060 --> 00:14:21,060
It turned out to be an off -duty Polish
airman with a roller liner over his
251
00:14:21,060 --> 00:14:24,940
shoulder. Easy mistake to make. I hope
you're not gibbering so as I'll forget
252
00:14:24,940 --> 00:14:26,600
that you owe her tuppence farthing.
253
00:14:26,820 --> 00:14:30,740
No, no, of course not. Only, um, oh,
seemed to have come out without any
254
00:14:30,740 --> 00:14:32,180
on me. No offence, Constable.
255
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:36,400
Will you take a cheque? You cheeky Arab,
who do you think you are?
256
00:14:36,740 --> 00:14:38,360
Well, if that's a no, I'll have to write
you an IOU.
257
00:14:38,860 --> 00:14:39,860
Hey, wait a tick.
258
00:14:40,740 --> 00:14:41,740
Where did you get this?
259
00:14:42,260 --> 00:14:43,340
It was a birthday present.
260
00:14:43,880 --> 00:14:45,680
Here, Red, you ever seen anything like
this before?
261
00:14:45,940 --> 00:14:46,940
No, I have not.
262
00:14:47,100 --> 00:14:50,840
As a policeman, I flatter myself I'm on
more than nodding terms with pens,
263
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,460
pencils and other writing implements.
264
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:55,600
Where's the ink go, then?
265
00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:57,760
Made in Germany.
266
00:15:00,180 --> 00:15:03,980
I think you've got some serious
explaining to do, Sonny Jim.
267
00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:07,000
No, it was given to me in America.
268
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,520
Oh, yeah, and I've just come back from
the moon.
269
00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:11,740
Arrest him, Reg. He's a spy.
270
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,140
Stands to reason. No money, German pen.
271
00:15:14,600 --> 00:15:17,700
Asking for some bloke nobody's ever
heard of. Oh, don't be silly, Dad.
272
00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:21,160
Don't you talk to me like that. You'll
feel the back of my hand, young lady.
273
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:25,600
if he was a spy, would he be drawing
attention to himself like this? Of
274
00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:27,600
not. He'd have English money.
275
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:29,240
An indelible pencil.
276
00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:31,740
He wouldn't keep going on about his
hairy gasket.
277
00:15:31,940 --> 00:15:34,140
Who asks you? You should be in the
kitchen getting my tea.
278
00:15:35,020 --> 00:15:36,280
She has got a point, Eric.
279
00:15:36,980 --> 00:15:38,600
Could be a double bluff, though.
280
00:15:39,700 --> 00:15:43,180
There's only one way to find out. You
mean precisely.
281
00:15:45,390 --> 00:15:46,390
Here you are.
282
00:15:56,750 --> 00:15:58,490
Read that, fritzy.
283
00:16:00,050 --> 00:16:01,830
Worcestershire beat Warwickshire by ten
wickets.
284
00:16:02,730 --> 00:16:04,030
Sorry we doubted you, son.
285
00:16:05,110 --> 00:16:06,190
What did I do right?
286
00:16:07,110 --> 00:16:09,790
Everyone knows that Bosch can't
pronounce their Ws.
287
00:16:09,990 --> 00:16:13,890
If you was a German spy, you'd have said
Warwickshire and Worcestershire.
288
00:16:15,790 --> 00:16:17,290
I think you owe him an apology, Eric.
289
00:16:17,930 --> 00:16:23,470
Unless he was born in Germany, educated
in England, and then went home to join
290
00:16:23,470 --> 00:16:26,790
the Nazis, there was a flick like that
up at the... Eric, just say sorry.
291
00:16:27,190 --> 00:16:28,190
What?
292
00:16:28,410 --> 00:16:29,410
Oh, all right.
293
00:16:29,790 --> 00:16:31,830
But you still owe me for the beer. Yeah,
I know.
294
00:16:32,290 --> 00:16:35,890
That's why I was looking for Huey
Gateskill. He owes me two quid from
295
00:16:35,890 --> 00:16:39,010
went to the States. Two quid? That's a
lot of money. Have you told the police?
296
00:16:39,230 --> 00:16:40,250
He's just telling you.
297
00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:42,629
Right you are.
298
00:16:42,630 --> 00:16:44,310
Well, it's not a police matter.
299
00:16:44,910 --> 00:16:46,570
Well, it will be if you don't pay for
your beer.
300
00:16:46,790 --> 00:16:48,930
I'll tell you what, why don't you sell
me your Yankee pen?
301
00:16:49,130 --> 00:16:51,590
I'll give you half a dollar for it. I'll
give you three bob.
302
00:16:51,910 --> 00:16:55,570
I never said it was for sale. Four
and... Four and eightpence.
303
00:16:56,170 --> 00:16:58,530
All right, what do I care?
304
00:16:59,210 --> 00:17:00,210
It's only a dream.
305
00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:05,569
Half a crown, three and six, four bob,
four and three pence, four pence, five
306
00:17:05,569 --> 00:17:07,630
pence, three farthings.
307
00:17:07,950 --> 00:17:09,970
I took for the beer. Yeah, I thought you
might.
308
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:30,010
It's a little bit funny, the feeling
inside.
309
00:17:31,890 --> 00:17:32,890
That's nice.
310
00:17:33,190 --> 00:17:34,870
Did you learn that in America?
311
00:17:35,410 --> 00:17:36,410
Eh? Uh,
312
00:17:37,030 --> 00:17:39,770
yeah. Well, actually, um, I wrote it.
313
00:17:42,450 --> 00:17:43,950
Have you written any others?
314
00:17:44,330 --> 00:17:45,690
Uh, yeah, I want to say.
315
00:17:45,910 --> 00:17:52,750
And now the end is near, and I must face
the final
316
00:17:52,750 --> 00:17:57,160
curse. Hey, hey, hey, hey! None of them
defeatist dongs in my pub, if you don't
317
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:58,900
mind. I'll leave him alone, Dad.
318
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:00,600
He's talented.
319
00:18:01,500 --> 00:18:02,860
You could be on the wireless.
320
00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:09,400
And now, live from the Café de Paris,
the tinkling tunes of...
321
00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,380
What's your name?
322
00:18:11,620 --> 00:18:13,100
Oh, Gary. Gary Sparrow.
323
00:18:13,420 --> 00:18:14,420
Phoebe Bamford.
324
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:16,860
Hi. So what do you do for a living?
325
00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:18,500
Television repairman.
326
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:19,760
Oh.
327
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:21,900
Times must be hard for you, then.
328
00:18:22,180 --> 00:18:23,180
Why's that?
329
00:18:23,260 --> 00:18:26,500
Cos there hasn't been any television
since the day war broke out, has there?
330
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:30,300
Dad was really browned off. He was
hoping to follow the war on it.
331
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:34,420
Oh. Well, obviously, during hostilities,
I've switched to other things, you
332
00:18:34,420 --> 00:18:35,420
know, like radar.
333
00:18:35,980 --> 00:18:37,120
What's that when it's at home?
334
00:18:37,720 --> 00:18:42,520
Well, it's the radio system used for
tracking enemy... Forget I spoke.
335
00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:47,020
Oi! Oi, Phoebe, he's not the only
customer and you're a married woman.
336
00:18:47,220 --> 00:18:48,300
We're only chatting.
337
00:18:48,700 --> 00:18:50,440
Yeah, well, make sure that's all you do.
338
00:18:51,580 --> 00:18:52,800
So, where's your old man, then?
339
00:18:53,160 --> 00:18:56,400
Well, last letter I had, he was in
Tunisia.
340
00:18:56,760 --> 00:18:58,340
Been gone over six months now.
341
00:18:58,720 --> 00:18:59,720
Bet you miss him, eh?
342
00:18:59,900 --> 00:19:00,900
Of course.
343
00:19:01,180 --> 00:19:03,300
We used to go dancing, pictures.
344
00:19:03,900 --> 00:19:05,220
I'll never get out now.
345
00:19:06,260 --> 00:19:07,800
I could take you dancing if you like.
346
00:19:08,120 --> 00:19:09,740
I've got a car, we could go up west.
347
00:19:10,020 --> 00:19:11,660
You cheeky so -and -so.
348
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:15,120
We'd have to sit out the flow numbers.
349
00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:18,240
So where's your gas mask, then?
350
00:19:19,020 --> 00:19:20,440
What? Here.
351
00:19:21,030 --> 00:19:22,730
Reg, he hasn't got a gas mask.
352
00:19:23,030 --> 00:19:24,150
Oh, hasn't he now?
353
00:19:24,770 --> 00:19:26,050
Well, well, well.
354
00:19:27,630 --> 00:19:29,330
I think we've got a spare one at the
station.
355
00:19:29,810 --> 00:19:33,550
That's not the point. Why hasn't he got
one? It's all very suspicious.
356
00:19:33,870 --> 00:19:36,690
I haven't got a gas mask because I'm a
claustrophobic, all right.
357
00:19:36,910 --> 00:19:39,590
Oh, so now he's claiming he's from a
neutral country.
358
00:19:41,550 --> 00:19:45,810
What? No, claustrophobia is a fear of
confined spaces. It's not a place.
359
00:19:46,210 --> 00:19:48,470
Is he telling the truth, Reg? He is,
Eric.
360
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:52,340
I'd still ask him for his papers if I
were you. I'm getting really bored with
361
00:19:52,340 --> 00:19:55,080
this. Unless, of course, he hasn't got
any papers.
362
00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:56,280
Oh, of course I've got papers.
363
00:19:56,500 --> 00:20:00,340
We German spies never go anywhere
without a copy of Mein Kampf, a signed
364
00:20:00,340 --> 00:20:04,480
photograph of Adolf Hitler and a jar of
sauerkraut. You cheeky bugger. Oi!
365
00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:06,880
Ladies present.
366
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:11,580
Leave him alone, Eric. This isn't a
police state. Anyone can see he's true
367
00:20:12,220 --> 00:20:12,999
Thank you, officer.
368
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,200
Permit me to buy you a schnapper.
369
00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:16,240
Very amusing. Very amusing.
370
00:20:16,460 --> 00:20:20,520
Well, I ain't laughing. I knew he was
the hun. Oh, shut up, Eric. I'm in back.
371
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:22,479
All right.
372
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:23,540
Down the cellar, everybody.
373
00:20:23,780 --> 00:20:24,459
Come on, Gary.
374
00:20:24,460 --> 00:20:27,720
Down the cellar? Well, that's not the
real... Oh, why are you taking your
375
00:20:28,120 --> 00:20:33,960
It's not a real... It's not a real...
That one was too close for comfort. Come
376
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:34,759
on, Gary.
377
00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:35,379
Come on.
378
00:20:35,380 --> 00:20:36,380
Why are you taking your time?
379
00:20:36,580 --> 00:20:37,920
Come on, get down the cellar.
380
00:20:38,460 --> 00:20:39,700
Two there, you know the way.
381
00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:41,500
Phoebe, where have you been? Come on.
382
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:47,300
No, I'm not going to like it now.
383
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:50,400
I really am a claustrophobic.
384
00:20:50,660 --> 00:20:51,800
Oh, look, come on, Gary.
385
00:20:52,860 --> 00:20:53,920
Let me out!
386
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:56,080
Let me out, please.
387
00:20:57,580 --> 00:20:59,380
I can't stand it. Let me out.
388
00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:03,720
Just let me... Oh!
389
00:21:05,620 --> 00:21:07,100
Oh, what a brilliant dream.
390
00:21:08,340 --> 00:21:10,720
Oh, I was chatting up this gorgeous
little bird.
391
00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:12,860
Getting on like a house on fire.
392
00:21:13,260 --> 00:21:16,040
And then there was this sort of air raid
siren and the...
393
00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:23,140
My
394
00:21:23,140 --> 00:21:25,840
God, it's real. Are you all right, Sam?
Here, try this.
395
00:21:26,260 --> 00:21:29,820
Oi, oi, not so fast. I'm saving that for
when the Tommy's marching to Berlin.
396
00:21:30,060 --> 00:21:31,060
I'm dead.
397
00:21:31,380 --> 00:21:32,620
Feeling any better, Gary?
398
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:37,620
Huh? Uh, yeah, sort of. The panic
attacks sort of come and go.
399
00:21:38,110 --> 00:21:41,590
I don't like it down here. Oh, I'm so
sorry. If I'd known you was coming, I'd
400
00:21:41,590 --> 00:21:43,050
have the painters and decorators here.
401
00:21:44,770 --> 00:21:46,890
Tell you what, why don't we all have a
nice sing -song?
402
00:21:47,170 --> 00:21:48,450
How about Run, Rabbit, Run?
403
00:21:48,990 --> 00:21:55,070
Run, rabbit, run, rabbit, run, run, run.
Gary writes songs.
404
00:21:55,410 --> 00:21:56,650
Well, not really.
405
00:21:56,910 --> 00:21:58,810
Yes, you do. Lovely songs.
406
00:21:59,210 --> 00:22:00,530
Do that one, you know.
407
00:22:01,170 --> 00:22:02,170
It's a bit funny.
408
00:22:02,770 --> 00:22:04,910
Are you sure?
409
00:22:05,170 --> 00:22:06,210
Come on, Sam.
410
00:22:08,940 --> 00:22:10,520
It's a little bit funny.
411
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:13,900
Feeling inside.
412
00:22:42,300 --> 00:22:46,320
It's all right, I suppose. I still say
that words and world don't rhyme.
413
00:22:47,120 --> 00:22:48,760
Unless they do in German.
414
00:22:49,740 --> 00:22:51,640
It really is 1940, isn't it?
415
00:22:52,380 --> 00:22:55,120
My van's parked in 1993 and I'm in 1940.
416
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:57,600
Hey, I saw that. That's a tunner.
417
00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:00,160
Phoebe, did you bring the tilt tray down
with you?
418
00:23:00,380 --> 00:23:01,600
No, I thought you did.
419
00:23:01,860 --> 00:23:04,020
Oh, no, you stupid girl.
420
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,800
But it ain't my fault. You never lay out
your sight, usually.
421
00:23:09,020 --> 00:23:11,220
Rick, remember we're going to nick your
takings during an air raid.
422
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:15,160
Oh, but haven't you heard of Goering's
crack 15th Airborne Petty Cash Brigade?
423
00:23:15,340 --> 00:23:16,740
Oh, my clever dick.
424
00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:19,160
Listen, I think they're going away.
425
00:23:19,900 --> 00:23:22,480
I'm going up to check the till. Yeah,
you've got to wait for the all clear.
426
00:23:22,700 --> 00:23:25,100
It's my pub. I'll do as I Flaming World
like.
427
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:30,780
It's no good. I've got to get out of
here. I'm sorry. It's all staying here.
428
00:23:30,980 --> 00:23:31,980
I'm sorry.
429
00:23:32,120 --> 00:23:33,120
Go up there.
430
00:23:33,740 --> 00:23:35,240
I'm just a policeman. That won't take
long.
431
00:23:51,530 --> 00:23:52,930
It's like this up Dawson in 33.
432
00:23:53,290 --> 00:23:55,710
The chap who used to break into the
morgues and interfere with... Oi!
433
00:23:55,970 --> 00:23:56,970
Ladies' presence!
434
00:23:57,050 --> 00:23:59,130
Stupid, I was giving him the kick of
life. The what?
435
00:23:59,430 --> 00:24:03,350
Mouth -to -mouth resuscitation. It's the
only thing that... I learnt it in
436
00:24:03,350 --> 00:24:04,630
America. Look, let him.
437
00:24:05,150 --> 00:24:06,250
Don't let him die, Gary.
438
00:24:19,370 --> 00:24:22,410
You've got to hand it to them. When it
comes to kissing, they know a thing or
439
00:24:22,410 --> 00:24:23,410
two these days.
440
00:24:24,870 --> 00:24:28,410
What happened? Was this German spy just
saved your life?
441
00:24:28,670 --> 00:24:29,690
How? Don't ask.
442
00:24:29,950 --> 00:24:30,829
Why not?
443
00:24:30,830 --> 00:24:33,350
He's brilliantly resourceful, but not
very manly.
444
00:24:33,590 --> 00:24:35,170
Oh, my head's killing me.
445
00:24:35,530 --> 00:24:36,530
I'm not surprised.
446
00:24:36,810 --> 00:24:37,810
Look what I had you.
447
00:24:38,250 --> 00:24:40,310
Gary, son, you know you're a hero.
448
00:24:40,650 --> 00:24:44,230
Phoebe, nick down the cellar and fetch
that bottle of brandy.
449
00:24:45,130 --> 00:24:46,770
We might as well finish it off.
450
00:24:50,890 --> 00:24:54,110
go. Gary, sing us another one of them
tunes you wrote.
451
00:24:54,510 --> 00:24:57,570
Oh, no, honestly, I'll miss my last
tram.
452
00:24:58,110 --> 00:24:59,470
Don't be a stranger, son.
453
00:24:59,770 --> 00:25:01,270
Yeah. Come back and see us soon.
454
00:25:03,150 --> 00:25:08,670
Gary, I'll walk you to the tram stop if
you like.
455
00:25:08,930 --> 00:25:10,790
Oh, no, don't put yourself out.
456
00:25:11,170 --> 00:25:12,910
You saved my dad's life.
457
00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:17,870
Besides, he got lost coming here in
broad daylight.
458
00:25:19,780 --> 00:25:21,880
Yeah, well, maybe just to the end of the
street, then, eh?
459
00:25:24,940 --> 00:25:27,300
Do you suppose you ever will come up
this way again?
460
00:25:28,540 --> 00:25:29,940
It's not on my usual route.
461
00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:31,920
Oh.
462
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:37,720
So when you said about going dancing,
were you just hugging Mick?
463
00:25:38,620 --> 00:25:39,800
Well, you are married.
464
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:41,860
This isn't 1993.
465
00:25:42,600 --> 00:25:43,600
No?
466
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:45,120
What are you talking about?
467
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:48,440
Oh, nothing. I've just been reading a
book.
468
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,500
Except in the future, you know, where
women got up to all sorts of things,
469
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:52,520
whether they're married or not.
470
00:25:53,540 --> 00:25:55,660
Well, it's 1940.
471
00:25:57,040 --> 00:25:58,420
My husband's overseas.
472
00:25:59,020 --> 00:26:00,580
God knows when he'll come home.
473
00:26:01,580 --> 00:26:05,240
And I just thought it'd be nice to go
dancing with someone who wasn't going to
474
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:06,440
try and take advantage.
475
00:26:07,900 --> 00:26:10,460
Well, there is still that tunic a Hugh
Gates gives me.
476
00:26:14,620 --> 00:26:15,900
Go on, get back to your dad.
477
00:26:30,730 --> 00:26:35,710
If there's not a pay -rich service van
parked at the end of this alley, am I in
478
00:26:35,710 --> 00:26:37,050
deep trouble.
479
00:26:55,090 --> 00:26:57,250
Where the hell have you been?
480
00:26:58,270 --> 00:26:59,490
What time do you think it is?
481
00:27:00,010 --> 00:27:01,330
I was going to ask you that question.
482
00:27:01,590 --> 00:27:02,590
It's half past eleven.
483
00:27:02,830 --> 00:27:03,830
What year?
484
00:27:05,170 --> 00:27:07,810
Gary, what are you talking about? I was
getting worried.
485
00:27:08,670 --> 00:27:10,190
And look at the state of you.
486
00:27:14,230 --> 00:27:16,430
Gary, are you all right? Has there been
an accident?
487
00:27:17,230 --> 00:27:18,230
No.
488
00:27:18,390 --> 00:27:23,290
I finished my last delivery and I popped
into this pub for quite half. Which
489
00:27:23,290 --> 00:27:25,030
turned into half a dozen noisy pints.
490
00:27:25,390 --> 00:27:26,390
No.
491
00:27:27,570 --> 00:27:29,090
Mum, this pub was...
492
00:27:32,399 --> 00:27:37,320
Well, what happened? The landlord
tripped and he fell down an open
493
00:27:37,320 --> 00:27:39,300
his cellar. He banged his head. He
stopped breathing.
494
00:27:39,640 --> 00:27:41,620
Oh, and I suppose you gave him the kiss
of life.
495
00:27:42,140 --> 00:27:43,360
Yeah, I did.
496
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:44,880
Me.
497
00:27:45,180 --> 00:27:47,380
Gary Sparrow, television repairman.
498
00:27:48,740 --> 00:27:51,440
Back there, I fought for a man's life
and I won.
499
00:27:52,340 --> 00:27:53,860
Gary, are you winding me up?
500
00:27:55,620 --> 00:27:57,700
You can't visualise me as a hero, can
you?
501
00:27:58,700 --> 00:27:59,700
Frankly, no.
502
00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:02,480
Get those... Dirty overalls off the
duvet cover.
503
00:28:05,220 --> 00:28:08,600
Gary, I don't mind if you want to go out
for a drink with your mates after work.
504
00:28:08,900 --> 00:28:11,520
You don't have to lie to me. I'm not
your mother.
505
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:14,560
Goodnight, Gary.
506
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:18,480
Goodnight, sweetheart.
507
00:28:19,820 --> 00:28:21,580
Goodnight, sweetheart.
508
00:28:22,740 --> 00:28:25,740
Sleep will banish sorrow.
509
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:29,260
Goodnight, sweetheart.
510
00:28:30,540 --> 00:28:37,340
Till we meet tomorrow Dreams enfold you
511
00:28:37,340 --> 00:28:43,620
Remember I'll hold you Good night,
512
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:44,920
sweetheart
40754
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