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1
00:00:02,619 --> 00:00:04,360
Well, top of the morning to you, sir.
2
00:00:04,740 --> 00:00:05,900
What the hell?
3
00:00:06,140 --> 00:00:07,340
Why are you wearing that?
4
00:00:07,580 --> 00:00:10,140
What, can't a man class up his breakfast
a little bit?
5
00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:12,800
A man can, but not you.
6
00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:19,160
Truth is, I've gotten a little behind on
the laundry and dry cleaning.
7
00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:22,160
This monkey suit's the only clean
clothes I can find in the house.
8
00:00:22,980 --> 00:00:26,240
Dad, I don't think they're going to let
me wear this to school.
9
00:00:28,780 --> 00:00:30,480
Ah, Tom, it's a religious thing.
10
00:00:31,210 --> 00:00:32,409
I'll write you a note. What's up?
11
00:00:33,190 --> 00:00:35,230
Uh, better make it two notes.
12
00:00:38,590 --> 00:00:41,330
All I did was walk down the stairs, and
I'm sweating.
13
00:00:41,910 --> 00:00:42,910
All right, here.
14
00:00:43,970 --> 00:00:44,970
Try this.
15
00:00:46,290 --> 00:00:47,290
Yeah.
16
00:00:47,890 --> 00:00:49,530
There you go. That'll cool you down.
17
00:00:50,710 --> 00:00:51,710
Thanks,
18
00:00:52,370 --> 00:00:53,370
Dad. You're welcome.
19
00:00:54,750 --> 00:00:55,750
See that?
20
00:00:56,430 --> 00:00:57,490
Everything is fine.
21
00:00:59,790 --> 00:01:00,790
Morning.
22
00:01:03,870 --> 00:01:06,630
The sad thing is, I did his laundry.
23
00:01:08,330 --> 00:01:10,270
Frankly, Dad, I don't give a darn.
24
00:01:18,690 --> 00:01:19,750
Oh, baby.
25
00:01:21,690 --> 00:01:23,310
All right, I'll be right back, sweetie.
26
00:01:24,740 --> 00:01:27,820
So, so, so, what do you think of her,
huh? She's cute, right?
27
00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:28,798
Yeah, she's cute.
28
00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:30,260
Oh, damn it, she's too good for me.
29
00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:33,120
Come on, all women are too good for you.
30
00:01:34,100 --> 00:01:37,300
Katie, just relax, all right? She's a
nice girl. You're going to make a very
31
00:01:37,300 --> 00:01:39,020
nice couple. Okay, okay, okay.
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00:01:39,340 --> 00:01:42,660
Another hour or so, and I can get her
out the door without you doing any
33
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What?
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00:01:44,740 --> 00:01:46,380
Damage? Come on, man.
35
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:47,640
What are you talking about?
36
00:01:47,820 --> 00:01:52,780
I tucked in my shirt, zipped up my fly,
and this is the first beer I've had all
37
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:53,780
day.
38
00:01:54,100 --> 00:01:55,100
Since lunch.
39
00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:58,480
Don't judge me.
40
00:01:59,580 --> 00:02:00,419
Oh, man.
41
00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:03,900
I just wish Cheryl weren't upstairs on
bed rest so she could be down here to
42
00:02:03,900 --> 00:02:06,200
keep an eye on you. Don't worry about
it. She took care of everything.
43
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:11,360
She knows I'm not so good with the
niceties, so she made me a
44
00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:12,360
cheat sheet.
45
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:14,360
Check it out, huh?
46
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,360
Don't tell them you have a cheat sheet.
47
00:02:45,580 --> 00:02:48,900
I would like to take this moment to
compliment something you're wearing.
48
00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:57,780
What you got there, hoes?
49
00:03:01,180 --> 00:03:02,180
They're tight.
50
00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:04,600
And they're fantastic!
51
00:03:05,820 --> 00:03:07,300
He's not normally like this.
52
00:03:07,620 --> 00:03:09,680
Well, he is, but it's easier when
Cheryl's around.
53
00:03:16,650 --> 00:03:21,510
Where do you stand on religion and
politics are totally off limits?
54
00:03:27,070 --> 00:03:30,110
Jim, are you reading questions off of a
cheat sheet?
55
00:03:30,990 --> 00:03:31,990
No.
56
00:03:32,950 --> 00:03:34,910
It's okay. We can just talk.
57
00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:42,870
You're being ridiculous.
58
00:03:43,610 --> 00:03:45,190
Spit that out.
59
00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:47,270
Shut it up!
60
00:03:57,250 --> 00:04:01,990
Cheryl thought that having that would
help during awkward moments.
61
00:04:02,670 --> 00:04:07,810
That's it. I'm going upstairs and I'm
carrying her back down. No, it's fine.
62
00:04:07,990 --> 00:04:12,510
Jim, I really appreciate the effort. And
when I meet Cheryl, I'll tell her that
63
00:04:12,510 --> 00:04:14,350
this went much better than it actually
did.
64
00:04:15,980 --> 00:04:19,459
Oh, that is great. That is so great. Now
I can just relax and be myself.
65
00:04:19,820 --> 00:04:21,279
Here, let me ask you something.
66
00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:26,980
Now, you're a single mother, right?
Yeah. Is it as awful as they say?
67
00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:32,180
I think I can try this off pretty easy.
Yeah, give it to me. I want that. Come
68
00:04:32,180 --> 00:04:32,979
on, I want it.
69
00:04:32,980 --> 00:04:34,840
Hey, Mom, Mom, guess what?
70
00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:38,960
Ruby and Gracie listen to the Glitter
Pop, too. They want to go to the concert
71
00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:40,580
tomorrow. That would be so tight.
72
00:04:40,880 --> 00:04:44,860
Oh, I'm so sorry. Hey, girls, I can't
take you tomorrow. Andy and I are going
73
00:04:44,860 --> 00:04:45,860
an awards banquet.
74
00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:48,960
Yeah, Emily's being honored by the
County Orthodontist Association.
75
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:50,700
It's the Oscars of teeth.
76
00:04:52,300 --> 00:04:53,300
Isn't that great, Jim?
77
00:04:56,620 --> 00:04:57,620
Yes.
78
00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:00,860
Congratulations on your honor slash
award.
79
00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:04,640
Thank you.
80
00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:06,940
That's very kind slash thoughtful.
81
00:05:08,180 --> 00:05:09,520
Hey, listen, you know what?
82
00:05:10,100 --> 00:05:11,300
Why don't I take the girls?
83
00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:14,980
I mean, I'm going anyway. What's two
more hysterical girls in the minivan?
84
00:05:15,340 --> 00:05:18,820
Wow, you would really do that? Sure.
That's me talking, not the cheat sheet.
85
00:05:19,700 --> 00:05:22,980
I don't think Emily really wants you to
do that. That really sounds like fun.
86
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,240
Yeah, good. All right.
87
00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:27,120
You know what? I'll see if I can get
tickets. Okay.
88
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:29,500
Mom, can we go listen to the CD? Oh,
sure.
89
00:05:29,900 --> 00:05:30,900
Yeah, wow.
90
00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:32,920
Wow. Wow. Great.
91
00:05:49,789 --> 00:05:51,230
Jim, we haven't had dinner yet.
92
00:05:53,910 --> 00:05:54,910
Make dinner.
93
00:05:56,510 --> 00:05:58,450
Oh, I think this part is for you. Oh.
94
00:06:06,830 --> 00:06:08,830
So all the pots and pans are in there.
95
00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:17,690
Oh, hey, Kyle, you know what? I didn't
even think to ask if you wanted to go to
96
00:06:17,690 --> 00:06:19,130
that Glitter Pops concert tonight.
97
00:06:19,580 --> 00:06:23,160
Ride in a car full of screaming girls to
see a concert full of screaming girls?
98
00:06:23,740 --> 00:06:24,740
Ha.
99
00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:31,240
Oh, hey, Jim, I, uh... Kyle, you know
what I saw?
100
00:06:31,500 --> 00:06:33,740
There's a cupcake tree out in the
backyard.
101
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:36,940
I'm not a moron.
102
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:38,360
Cupcakes grow on bushes.
103
00:06:42,340 --> 00:06:44,420
But just to be...
104
00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:52,459
What's up?
105
00:06:52,460 --> 00:06:53,460
It's about the concert.
106
00:06:53,620 --> 00:06:56,440
I'm not comfortable with Emily's girls
going tonight.
107
00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,180
Why? If there's a problem, I'll be there
looking after them.
108
00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:01,960
Yeah.
109
00:07:03,780 --> 00:07:05,020
That's part of the problem.
110
00:07:06,020 --> 00:07:07,020
What part?
111
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,260
The part that's you.
112
00:07:09,420 --> 00:07:11,500
What? Great talk. See you at work.
113
00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:12,940
Andy!
114
00:07:34,749 --> 00:07:40,530
I just think it's a bad idea for you to
take Emily's girl to the concert.
115
00:07:41,010 --> 00:07:43,130
Bad idea? Come on, I'm a good parent.
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00:07:43,510 --> 00:07:48,110
I took care of my two kids while
Cheryl's been on bed rest this whole
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have three kids.
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00:07:51,170 --> 00:07:52,910
That's even harder, Jim.
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00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,780
people there. It's a public place. We
both know how you are.
120
00:07:58,340 --> 00:07:59,340
How I am?
121
00:08:01,700 --> 00:08:03,340
How I am?
122
00:08:04,540 --> 00:08:05,920
How I am?
123
00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:10,560
No, Andy, I don't know how I am.
124
00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:12,320
How am I?
125
00:08:13,180 --> 00:08:16,780
You took your kids to a Bears game and
punched a Packers fan.
126
00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:21,840
And punching a Packers fan is a criminal
offense. Have me arrested.
127
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:23,260
You were arrested.
128
00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:26,520
Come on, that was stadium jail.
129
00:08:26,980 --> 00:08:29,740
I missed the fourth quarter. I paid my
debt to society.
130
00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:33,280
You lost them for six hours at the dog
track.
131
00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,400
And Ruby hit the trifecta.
132
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:39,220
And we're still in touch with that
family that found her and bought her
133
00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:43,039
That's what I'm talking about. What are
you talking about? Right there, man. I
134
00:08:43,039 --> 00:08:47,220
can't have Emily's kids come home
talking about how they got in a high
135
00:08:47,220 --> 00:08:50,440
chase on the expressway because you
thought you saw Coach Ditka.
136
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:53,280
That is not my fault.
137
00:08:53,740 --> 00:08:55,500
That woman had a very thick mustache.
138
00:08:58,940 --> 00:09:00,120
Have I proved my point?
139
00:09:01,260 --> 00:09:02,260
Come on, man.
140
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:06,840
You know what, Andy? I've proved your
point.
141
00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:11,100
You being my best friend, I'm going to
do the right thing.
142
00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:14,340
Oh, thank you.
143
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:16,440
Ruby! Hey.
144
00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:18,080
I appreciate this.
145
00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:20,860
What's up?
146
00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:24,760
Listen, when you get Rebecca and Lauren
on the phone, tell them we're going to
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00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:26,100
the concert. We're picking up at 7.
148
00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:27,320
Sweet!
149
00:09:28,060 --> 00:09:32,560
What are you doing? I'll tell you what
I'm doing. I'm saving your relationship.
150
00:09:33,020 --> 00:09:36,500
If you're afraid of your woman, it's
never going to last. Oh, God!
151
00:09:38,280 --> 00:09:39,540
Oh, God!
152
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:45,220
You know what? I take care of other
people's kids better than I take care of
153
00:09:45,220 --> 00:09:46,220
own.
154
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:48,460
I can't sue me.
155
00:09:49,300 --> 00:09:50,880
Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!
156
00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:53,160
Andy, relax.
157
00:09:53,380 --> 00:09:55,060
It's three little girls. What can
happen?
158
00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:57,720
Four! Four, four, four, four.
159
00:10:03,820 --> 00:10:06,520
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Are
we all still here?
160
00:10:06,920 --> 00:10:08,980
Right? All right, count off, count off.
161
00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:13,020
Dad, we're all here, and we're late
because you wouldn't pay for parking.
162
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:15,680
What, are you kidding me? Ten bucks for
three hours?
163
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:18,740
When there was a perfectly good vacant
lot 12 blocks away?
164
00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:20,860
There were rats there.
165
00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:22,960
There were squirrels there.
166
00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:28,680
Okay. Now, let's go over Jim's master
plan one more time.
167
00:10:29,140 --> 00:10:32,540
Go. We're wearing orange T -shirts so
you can pick us out of the crowd.
168
00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:36,740
Good. Go. We each have glow sticks so
you can see us in the dark. Good. Go. We
169
00:10:36,740 --> 00:10:38,000
need you, we wave them in the air.
170
00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:39,360
Good. Go.
171
00:10:39,980 --> 00:10:41,080
There isn't any more.
172
00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:44,640
Very good.
173
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:46,780
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Come back
here. Come back here.
174
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:49,080
One more thing.
175
00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:54,180
All right, you see that concession stand
over there where the irresponsible
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00:10:54,180 --> 00:10:55,820
fathers are drinking beer?
177
00:10:56,780 --> 00:10:58,860
Well, we should get separated. We should
meet.
178
00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:01,080
Meet.
179
00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:02,880
Hey!
180
00:11:09,820 --> 00:11:13,920
My God, I haven't seen this much orange
since I did my community service.
181
00:11:24,010 --> 00:11:25,370
So I can see you.
182
00:11:28,410 --> 00:11:29,810
I can see you.
183
00:11:34,050 --> 00:11:35,770
And now I can't see you.
184
00:12:07,950 --> 00:12:09,190
I told you that with too much ham.
185
00:12:09,950 --> 00:12:11,970
No, no, I'm fine. I'm just nervous.
186
00:12:12,250 --> 00:12:14,830
What if you don't win? What if your
speech is bad? What if the kids aren't
187
00:12:14,830 --> 00:12:15,569
with Jim?
188
00:12:15,570 --> 00:12:16,570
What?
189
00:12:18,170 --> 00:12:20,250
They're totally safe. Yeah.
190
00:12:20,510 --> 00:12:22,250
Relax. Worry about your crappy speech.
191
00:12:22,950 --> 00:12:24,610
Oh, don't try to be funny. It's not your
thing.
192
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:26,710
Can I get some more ham?
193
00:12:28,350 --> 00:12:32,690
Now, please welcome to the stage
tonight's guest of honor, Dr. Emily
194
00:13:05,630 --> 00:13:07,350
I'm going through a tunnel.
195
00:13:08,030 --> 00:13:09,330
You're at a concert.
196
00:13:09,590 --> 00:13:10,670
Tell me what happened.
197
00:13:11,090 --> 00:13:12,450
Did you lose them?
198
00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:14,970
I did not lose them.
199
00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:17,450
I just don't remember what they look
like.
200
00:13:18,490 --> 00:13:21,010
I mean, it's nothing but a sea of hair
and braces.
201
00:13:21,970 --> 00:13:23,970
Oh my God, oh my God.
202
00:13:25,310 --> 00:13:27,010
Relax. Don't worry.
203
00:13:27,250 --> 00:13:29,290
They're here. I know they're here.
204
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:31,810
I mean, I guess it could be...
205
00:13:39,880 --> 00:13:41,420
you staring at the shows on stage.
206
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:44,480
Um,
207
00:13:45,060 --> 00:13:50,100
if she asks where I went, uh, will you
just tell her that I had an emergency
208
00:13:50,100 --> 00:13:52,340
that had nothing to do with her kid.
209
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:39,140
Look, you want to say I told you so? Or
do you want to say to Emily, I found
210
00:14:39,140 --> 00:14:40,500
your kids, they're safe and sound?
211
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:44,500
I want to do both. And I want some post
-awards ceremony. Love it.
212
00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:50,840
Hey, this band's pretty good.
213
00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:52,680
Come on, come on.
214
00:14:55,500 --> 00:14:58,860
This one here, here. No.
215
00:14:59,940 --> 00:15:00,940
This one here.
216
00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:02,900
Well,
217
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:07,320
this is never going to work. Jim, we
gotta be someplace where we can see
218
00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:08,320
everybody.
219
00:15:55,150 --> 00:15:56,270
Please welcome special guests.
220
00:17:59,210 --> 00:17:59,949
Stop it.
221
00:17:59,950 --> 00:18:01,590
It's just embarrassing me.
222
00:18:01,930 --> 00:18:04,350
That means he wants us to tell him more.
Thank you.
223
00:18:05,050 --> 00:18:07,590
That was awesome. I can't believe he met
the band.
224
00:18:07,850 --> 00:18:10,250
Hey, and not only that, we got banned
from the arena.
225
00:18:11,550 --> 00:18:13,810
How many little girls can brag about
that?
226
00:18:14,570 --> 00:18:15,570
You're the greatest.
227
00:18:15,850 --> 00:18:16,850
You're the worst.
228
00:18:17,510 --> 00:18:19,710
Did you really think you could ditch me
on the way home?
229
00:18:19,950 --> 00:18:21,350
I wasn't trying to ditch you.
230
00:18:21,690 --> 00:18:23,170
We were chasing Coach Ditka.
231
00:18:25,910 --> 00:18:28,930
Girls, why don't you go in the kitchen
and get some ice cream?
232
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:32,240
Thanks again, Dad. Oh, you're welcome.
You were really fun. And you're a good
233
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:33,240
dancer.
234
00:18:33,900 --> 00:18:37,540
Yeah, I just came back by to make sure
you didn't lose him again on the way
235
00:18:37,540 --> 00:18:39,420
home. Now I've got to get back to
Emily's dinner.
236
00:18:39,740 --> 00:18:42,500
Well, isn't that dinner over by now? Of
course it's over!
237
00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:45,280
Help me come up with a good line!
238
00:18:45,540 --> 00:18:49,060
Andy, honestly, I can't believe I'm
about to say this, but why don't you
239
00:18:49,060 --> 00:18:49,899
tell her the truth?
240
00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:53,480
Are you kidding me? She'll think I'm an
idiot for being friends with you. You
241
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,260
are an idiot for being friends with me!
242
00:19:01,260 --> 00:19:07,960
speech and you just walked out uh well
um the night my father died he was
243
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:12,120
supposed to receive an award and so i
did you stay out of this all right all
244
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:16,300
right all right it's none of my business
oh by the way emily i uh lost her kids
245
00:19:16,300 --> 00:19:20,800
briefly at the concert then andy freaked
out and then we found him oh that
246
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:24,560
happened to me once the concerts are
just a sea of hair and braces
247
00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:35,280
Wait a second. You're not mad?
248
00:19:35,980 --> 00:19:36,980
Why would I be mad?
249
00:19:37,260 --> 00:19:40,700
Well... You see, Annie, Emily accepts
you warts and all.
250
00:19:41,460 --> 00:19:42,840
And I'm wart number one.
251
00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:44,960
But she can get used to that.
252
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:47,580
And eventually, maybe even enjoy it.
253
00:19:49,260 --> 00:19:50,260
Thanks, Jim.
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00:19:50,660 --> 00:19:51,900
I can take it from here.
255
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:54,760
Right. This has nothing to do with me.
256
00:19:56,220 --> 00:19:59,460
You know, this is about Andy and I, and
there's something I really need to say
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00:19:59,460 --> 00:20:00,460
to you, Andy.
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00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:05,560
agree with everything Jim just said.
259
00:20:08,660 --> 00:20:12,400
Really? Because everything he said for
me is exactly what I think.
260
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,540
So, should we hug or kiss or something?
261
00:20:22,340 --> 00:20:23,560
Well, Jim, what do you think?
262
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:32,380
Well, I think it might make Andy a
little uncomfortable, but okay, I'm
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00:20:32,380 --> 00:20:33,380
it.
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00:20:35,020 --> 00:20:36,500
Jim, I think I got this one.
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00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:39,120
Andy?
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00:20:43,300 --> 00:20:44,300
Jim?
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00:20:50,540 --> 00:20:51,540
Oh!
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00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:05,200
So we're done here?
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00:21:06,340 --> 00:21:08,020
Well, we haven't had dinner yet.
20608
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