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1
00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:04,700
Yes. Now this is a sandwich, my friend.
2
00:00:05,140 --> 00:00:06,840
Mom doesn't want ham and cheese anymore.
3
00:00:07,060 --> 00:00:08,400
Now she wants salami.
4
00:00:10,020 --> 00:00:11,020
Salami it is?
5
00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:16,580
You know, Annie, when your wife's about
to have twins, it's like you're a short
6
00:00:16,580 --> 00:00:18,020
-order cook 24 -7.
7
00:00:18,820 --> 00:00:21,140
Forget the salami. Now she wants turkey.
8
00:00:23,260 --> 00:00:24,260
Turkey it is?
9
00:00:25,080 --> 00:00:27,860
You know, Annie, you can help me here a
little bit. Oh, yeah, sure.
10
00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,540
That turkey is poison -free. Carry on.
11
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:37,280
Now Mom wants bologna, or she says she's
gonna go ape crap.
12
00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:41,120
Bologna it is.
13
00:00:42,380 --> 00:00:43,780
Grego wants bologna.
14
00:00:44,940 --> 00:00:47,060
Grego gets bologna.
15
00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:48,360
Uh -oh.
16
00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:49,980
Text message from Cheryl.
17
00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:53,080
No sandwich, just apple. Approaching ape
crap.
18
00:00:55,540 --> 00:00:56,540
Fine.
19
00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:59,020
You know what? This may look like a
pain.
20
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:02,520
But in the end, it'll all be worth it.
Because I'll have two screaming kids
21
00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,440
puking on me at four in the morning.
22
00:01:06,780 --> 00:01:08,500
Yes. Good job, troops.
23
00:01:09,140 --> 00:01:10,140
Lunchtime.
24
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,060
You know, we could have made our own
sandwiches.
25
00:01:14,420 --> 00:01:15,840
It's better when we trick them. Shut it.
26
00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:24,360
Oh, baby.
27
00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:27,800
Hey.
28
00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:29,160
How's your mother?
29
00:01:29,310 --> 00:01:30,310
Really hungry?
30
00:01:30,510 --> 00:01:31,870
She almost bit me.
31
00:01:32,530 --> 00:01:33,970
Good, good, good, good. That's good.
32
00:01:34,770 --> 00:01:36,490
And then she set her hair on fire.
33
00:01:37,990 --> 00:01:39,450
Ah, that's great, honey. That's great.
34
00:01:41,010 --> 00:01:42,450
You're not listening to me.
35
00:01:42,650 --> 00:01:44,370
Yeah, no, you can have friends over,
just no boys.
36
00:01:46,150 --> 00:01:48,030
How many days are there in April?
37
00:01:48,430 --> 00:01:49,430
Thirty.
38
00:01:49,670 --> 00:01:50,750
Isn't this a leap year?
39
00:01:52,330 --> 00:01:53,330
Doesn't matter.
40
00:01:53,470 --> 00:01:58,310
All right, then it's official. Your
Uncle Andy is a complete fat -headed
41
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,380
You need a calendar to keep track of
that.
42
00:02:02,740 --> 00:02:04,820
Do you remember Uncle Andy's birthday
last year?
43
00:02:05,420 --> 00:02:06,760
Yeah, I'm almost in Florida.
44
00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:08,720
You made me bake a cake.
45
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:10,699
Yes, the cake.
46
00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:13,160
The first disappointment of that
evening.
47
00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:16,260
Yay!
48
00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:18,540
Happy birthday!
49
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:26,300
Now, who wants a piece of this train
wreck?
50
00:02:30,090 --> 00:02:30,709
I'm only 12.
51
00:02:30,710 --> 00:02:31,710
Make your own cake.
52
00:02:34,030 --> 00:02:36,850
Well, Andy, happy birthday to you.
53
00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:40,910
Holy crap.
54
00:02:41,550 --> 00:02:44,210
A gift certificate to Sir Stephen B.
55
00:02:44,570 --> 00:02:50,370
Steakhouse? Yeah, yeah. It's worth 200
bucks. So you just have to pick a friend
56
00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:53,970
who likes steak and go wild.
57
00:02:54,510 --> 00:02:56,250
Oh. Hmm.
58
00:02:56,550 --> 00:02:57,550
Let's see.
59
00:02:57,920 --> 00:03:00,040
You're a friend and you like steak.
60
00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:02,140
Do I?
61
00:03:04,260 --> 00:03:05,880
I remember I do.
62
00:03:07,260 --> 00:03:13,280
Oh, man. The best gift ever from the
best friend ever.
63
00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:14,700
When can we go?
64
00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:20,080
Oh, we can go whenever we want. But
remember, this expires in six months, so
65
00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:21,079
don't forget it.
66
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,500
I could never forget something this
generous.
67
00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:25,800
Not in a million years.
68
00:03:26,620 --> 00:03:32,480
That was five months and 29 days ago. It
expires tomorrow, and he still hasn't
69
00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:33,480
used it.
70
00:03:33,660 --> 00:03:34,900
Maybe he took a date.
71
00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:47,160
No, no, absolutely not. I have been
keeping track of every one of Andy's
72
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:48,360
for the past six months.
73
00:03:49,180 --> 00:03:54,960
And I know for a fact he hasn't used
that card, and he's on a 56 -day no
74
00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:55,960
streak.
75
00:03:58,030 --> 00:04:01,170
I can't believe I just wasted $200 on
that jerk.
76
00:04:02,090 --> 00:04:03,990
Well, luckily, it's the thought that
counts.
77
00:04:04,810 --> 00:04:06,310
It's the what that what's?
78
00:04:07,810 --> 00:04:11,790
Your generosity, your heart. You give
someone a gift because it makes them
79
00:04:11,790 --> 00:04:12,789
good.
80
00:04:12,790 --> 00:04:16,769
No. You give someone a gift, honey, to
get a credit.
81
00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:22,470
That way, they gotta get you a gift even
better than the one you gave them.
82
00:04:23,550 --> 00:04:25,210
And then, you're ahead.
83
00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:27,880
As long as you die first.
84
00:04:30,860 --> 00:04:33,140
But when I give someone a gift, I have
no expectation.
85
00:04:34,420 --> 00:04:38,720
Baby, you gave me a picture for a man on
a popsicle stick.
86
00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:43,060
What expectations could you possibly
have?
87
00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:48,400
Well, I think you should give Uncle Andy
the benefit of the doubt. I would, but
88
00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:49,860
he probably wouldn't use it for six
months.
89
00:04:55,530 --> 00:04:57,030
Ask you to have a steak dinner with him.
90
00:04:57,790 --> 00:04:59,390
You know what, Ruby? Maybe you're right.
91
00:04:59,730 --> 00:05:01,990
Maybe tonight is steak night.
92
00:05:02,350 --> 00:05:05,430
Hey, new taco place on Viz Street.
93
00:05:06,670 --> 00:05:07,930
Te amo, taco.
94
00:05:08,250 --> 00:05:09,250
Te amo.
95
00:05:11,390 --> 00:05:15,170
Do you have any plans for dinner
tomorrow night, Uncle Andy?
96
00:05:15,550 --> 00:05:18,670
No. Thursdays I teach water aerobics at
the senior center.
97
00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:24,380
Been trying to get some alone time with
Rose, but her husband just sits there
98
00:05:24,380 --> 00:05:26,680
glaring at me from behind his oxygen
mask.
99
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:31,440
As if he's some big shot. Ooh, I'm an ex
-cop.
100
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,700
You'll excuse me. I believe the Alamo's
about to fall to the Mexicans.
101
00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:44,160
Ruby, that's my best friend.
102
00:05:45,420 --> 00:05:48,360
He forgot the most generous gift I have
ever given.
103
00:05:48,970 --> 00:05:51,650
Why don't you just remind him that he
has the gift certificate? It's the
104
00:05:51,650 --> 00:05:53,070
principle of the thing.
105
00:05:53,350 --> 00:05:54,350
What principle?
106
00:05:54,890 --> 00:05:55,910
Come on, honey.
107
00:05:56,290 --> 00:05:57,290
Wake up!
108
00:05:58,450 --> 00:05:59,470
Pointless male pride!
109
00:06:02,090 --> 00:06:06,990
Mom! Come on, catch up! Come on, get
him! Ain't got a boy to talk to.
110
00:06:11,050 --> 00:06:12,050
Kyle.
111
00:06:13,090 --> 00:06:14,330
The TV's not on.
112
00:06:20,599 --> 00:06:22,340
pretending. Dang, almost again.
113
00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:29,620
Kyle, you know what? I need your opinion
on something.
114
00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:36,440
Let's say that you gave Gracie a really
nice gift, like a puppy.
115
00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,560
We're getting a puppy? No.
116
00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:42,760
No, let's just say you gave her a gift.
117
00:06:43,340 --> 00:06:45,620
And she put this puppy in her drawer.
118
00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:51,980
If you don't get that puppy out of the
drawer by tomorrow, that puppy's gonna
119
00:06:51,980 --> 00:06:52,980
die.
120
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:55,360
If he dies, can we get a kitty?
121
00:06:58,980 --> 00:06:59,980
Focus!
122
00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:09,020
If I don't get that puppy out of that
drawer, it's gonna die.
123
00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:11,200
What should Daddy do?
124
00:07:11,620 --> 00:07:14,440
You gotta save it! I love that puppy!
125
00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:17,560
I know you do.
126
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:20,020
I love that puppy, too.
127
00:07:21,060 --> 00:07:22,760
I'm going to go save the puppy!
128
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:24,120
Yeah!
129
00:07:24,180 --> 00:07:27,300
Jill! I'm going to dinner. Watch the
kids.
130
00:07:28,180 --> 00:07:30,720
Gracie! Give me back my puppy!
131
00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:40,160
Sir?
132
00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:43,040
Yes? I checked with our manager.
133
00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,160
Since you have your receipt, we'll be
happy to accept your gift certificate.
134
00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:48,780
Oh, that's great, because I licked all
the silverware already.
135
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,660
Can I start you off with a drink? Oh, I
drank before I came.
136
00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,860
Ah, let's see.
137
00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:03,460
I want $200 worth of meat.
138
00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:06,240
All kinds of meat.
139
00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:09,600
Would you like to hear our specials?
140
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,020
Do you have a $200 meat sampler?
141
00:08:13,540 --> 00:08:14,760
No. Okay, then.
142
00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:19,420
I'll have the ribeye steak, the
porterhouse steak, some crab legs.
143
00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:23,400
Oh, and by the way, give me a heads up
when I hit 185 bucks.
144
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:28,580
I'm almost afraid to tell you this, but
all those entrees come with salads.
145
00:08:30,740 --> 00:08:31,740
Meat salads?
146
00:08:49,740 --> 00:08:50,740
Are you okay, sir?
147
00:08:51,940 --> 00:08:52,940
Fantastic.
148
00:08:54,780 --> 00:08:56,300
Would you like to see a dessert menu?
149
00:08:58,520 --> 00:08:59,520
Yes.
150
00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:04,520
But you'll have to hold it for me
because I can't lift my arms.
151
00:09:44,330 --> 00:09:46,410
You enjoy your reheated mac and cheese?
152
00:09:49,010 --> 00:09:51,690
I had three steaks and a rack of lamb.
153
00:09:53,470 --> 00:09:56,230
You used Uncle Andy's gift certificate,
didn't you?
154
00:09:56,510 --> 00:09:57,510
Damn right I did.
155
00:09:59,810 --> 00:10:01,530
$198 .50.
156
00:10:03,090 --> 00:10:04,090
Right there.
157
00:10:04,850 --> 00:10:07,830
But I thought it was... Hey, I'm no
monster. I left a tip.
158
00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:15,120
me like that.
159
00:10:15,580 --> 00:10:17,500
He was never going to use that
certificate.
160
00:10:17,820 --> 00:10:19,260
You know it. Never.
161
00:10:19,860 --> 00:10:22,880
Oh, Jim, I am such a dummy.
162
00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:24,280
Agreed. Continue.
163
00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,580
You remember that gift certificate you
gave me for my birthday?
164
00:10:35,940 --> 00:10:36,940
Vaguely.
165
00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:42,540
Well, here's the thing. I completely
forgot about it. I know I'm the biggest
166
00:10:42,540 --> 00:10:43,540
jerk ever.
167
00:10:47,950 --> 00:10:51,470
It must have fallen out of my wallet
because I found it in between a couple
168
00:10:51,470 --> 00:10:54,830
couch cushions. But the good news is, it
doesn't expire until tomorrow.
169
00:10:57,030 --> 00:10:58,710
That is good news.
170
00:11:02,070 --> 00:11:06,110
So, me and my best buddy can go eat
ourselves sick on steak.
171
00:11:08,450 --> 00:11:09,570
That sounds great.
172
00:11:12,110 --> 00:11:15,430
But, but, but, oh, you got that aerobics
class tomorrow. You don't want to
173
00:11:15,430 --> 00:11:16,590
disappoint those old people.
174
00:11:17,020 --> 00:11:19,920
Please. I show up on Friday, tell them
it's Thursday. They don't know the
175
00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:20,920
difference.
176
00:11:21,620 --> 00:11:22,620
So what do you think?
177
00:11:24,940 --> 00:11:25,940
Yeah, Daddy.
178
00:11:26,180 --> 00:11:27,180
What do you say?
179
00:11:30,220 --> 00:11:32,020
I say let's do it.
180
00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:36,420
I can't remember the last time I had a
good steak.
181
00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:07,440
I don't care about that.
182
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:09,100
The shirt, the pants, do they match?
183
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,800
It's fine. Oh, thank you, sweetheart.
184
00:12:12,540 --> 00:12:14,720
You already used up Uncle Andy's gift
certificate.
185
00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:16,120
What are you going to do?
186
00:12:16,260 --> 00:12:17,760
I'm going to make it very simple for
you, honey.
187
00:12:18,180 --> 00:12:22,620
I'm going to enjoy a fantastic expensive
steak, and then when the check comes,
188
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:27,020
I'm going to go to the bathroom, ditch
out, and leave the check for Andy.
189
00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:30,280
Daddy, that's terrible!
190
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:33,660
Oh, Ruby, my sweet Ruby.
191
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:34,920
Sit down, honey.
192
00:12:35,820 --> 00:12:37,260
Let me break this down for you.
193
00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:42,280
I can either get in trouble with Uncle
Andy and not have steak, or get in
194
00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:44,040
trouble with Uncle Andy and have steak.
195
00:12:45,340 --> 00:12:46,340
Have a good night.
196
00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:53,720
You know, you could secretly give the
waiter $200 and
197
00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:55,660
let Uncle Andy think that nothing
happened.
198
00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:57,800
Why won't I do that?
199
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:03,300
I already spent $200 on him. No, you
spent $200 on you.
200
00:13:03,900 --> 00:13:06,620
I might not be a grown -up, but I think
that's the right thing to do.
201
00:13:07,740 --> 00:13:09,180
The right thing to do?
202
00:13:09,940 --> 00:13:11,560
What does it have to do with anything?
203
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:18,920
You know, your mother can sit there and
fold her legs and fold her arms and give
204
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:22,540
me that look and try to guilt me into
doing the right thing, but don't think
205
00:13:22,540 --> 00:13:23,540
can.
206
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:29,140
Damn it.
207
00:13:31,260 --> 00:13:32,260
Fine.
208
00:13:32,540 --> 00:13:33,540
I'll do it.
209
00:13:36,660 --> 00:13:38,320
But it's the last time!
210
00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:48,500
I tell you what, Jim, if I die tonight,
I'll die a happy man.
211
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:50,680
I hear you, Andy.
212
00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,360
No, I'm serious. I may die tonight.
213
00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:58,760
Can you believe I forgot this gift
certificate?
214
00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:01,480
It's almost like I don't deserve this
dinner.
215
00:14:04,349 --> 00:14:07,390
Almost. You must have been stewing about
it for months.
216
00:14:08,730 --> 00:14:09,730
Well, you know what, Andy?
217
00:14:10,510 --> 00:14:15,990
When I gave you this gift certificate,
the look on your face was worth the
218
00:14:16,790 --> 00:14:21,330
And now, having this meal tonight, it's
like it's another $200.
219
00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:24,950
Whoa,
220
00:14:25,910 --> 00:14:28,950
hey. Hey, whoa, wait. What are you, my
cardiologist?
221
00:14:30,430 --> 00:14:32,030
I was going to eat that fast.
222
00:14:35,069 --> 00:14:36,069
Hey, buddy.
223
00:14:36,570 --> 00:14:37,570
Buddy, come here.
224
00:14:38,330 --> 00:14:42,010
Well, we're almost out of steak, but I
know the sous chef keeps a horse at his
225
00:14:42,010 --> 00:14:43,010
house.
226
00:14:44,370 --> 00:14:45,890
No, no, no. It's not that.
227
00:14:48,110 --> 00:14:52,270
Listen, this guy I'm with is going to
try to use that gift certificate that I
228
00:14:52,270 --> 00:14:53,270
used last night.
229
00:14:53,610 --> 00:14:57,870
So when he presents it, just go with it,
all right? And on my way out, I'll flip
230
00:14:57,870 --> 00:14:58,870
you $200.
231
00:14:59,470 --> 00:15:02,610
How would you be serving that horse
tonight?
232
00:15:10,839 --> 00:15:13,740
Jim, this is probably the most generous
gift ever.
233
00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:18,260
Oh, come on, man. It was no big deal.
Oh, sure it was. You're the cheapest guy
234
00:15:18,260 --> 00:15:19,260
know.
235
00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:22,740
Andy, I am not cheap.
236
00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,120
I'm thrifty. There's a difference.
237
00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,280
Yeah, yeah. Cheap costs less. That's why
you're cheap.
238
00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:30,340
I'm the generous one.
239
00:15:31,340 --> 00:15:33,180
I'm not going to argue with you tonight,
all right?
240
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:36,660
But trust me, I'm being twice as
generous as you think.
241
00:15:36,900 --> 00:15:38,160
Are you kidding me?
242
00:15:38,540 --> 00:15:41,260
You remember your last birthday? I got
you that satellite radio?
243
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:45,040
Because nothing's too good for my best
buddy, Mr. Cheap.
244
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,660
Well, if you'll excuse me, Mr.
245
00:15:50,860 --> 00:15:52,200
Cheap has to go to the bathroom.
246
00:15:52,820 --> 00:15:55,380
I understand it's free. I may go twice.
247
00:15:57,120 --> 00:16:00,680
Hey, put a roll of toilet paper in your
pocket, because it's free.
248
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:08,440
You know, Andy, while I'm away, Why
don't you order dessert?
249
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:11,500
Order whatever you want. It's on me.
250
00:16:11,860 --> 00:16:16,020
Even if it goes over the generous $200
I've already spent.
251
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,860
I love this big, cheap guy!
252
00:16:21,740 --> 00:16:24,120
You know the plan I gave you before?
253
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:27,160
Forget it. Stick the bill to Mr.
Generous over here.
254
00:16:28,460 --> 00:16:31,240
I am the luckiest boy in the world.
255
00:16:38,700 --> 00:16:39,700
the Sacred Hearts.
256
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:43,620
Coming up next, four hours of
uninterrupted blues on the Satellite
257
00:16:43,620 --> 00:16:45,000
Network. Ah!
258
00:16:45,460 --> 00:16:48,880
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
259
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:55,080
Ah!
260
00:16:55,580 --> 00:16:56,239
Ah! Ah!
261
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:57,320
Ah! Ah!
262
00:16:57,540 --> 00:16:58,439
Ah! Ah!
263
00:16:58,440 --> 00:16:59,240
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
264
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:00,240
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
265
00:17:00,940 --> 00:17:02,780
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
266
00:17:03,220 --> 00:17:04,220
Ah! Ah!
267
00:17:04,579 --> 00:17:05,579
Ah!
268
00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:07,020
Ah!
269
00:17:08,270 --> 00:17:11,329
Why, listen, Missy. Oh, too fast, too
fast.
270
00:17:12,930 --> 00:17:14,130
What the hell?
271
00:17:19,510 --> 00:17:22,369
You used my gift card and then you
ditched me?
272
00:17:22,630 --> 00:17:25,690
You're damn right I did. Whoa, too fast.
Oh, God.
273
00:17:25,970 --> 00:17:30,090
I had to shell out 250 bucks, walk home.
I almost got hit by a car.
274
00:17:30,530 --> 00:17:33,230
And I dropped my other swans.
275
00:17:34,650 --> 00:17:37,550
How could you do that to me? How could I
do that to you?
276
00:17:37,770 --> 00:17:39,050
How could you do this to me?
277
00:17:39,310 --> 00:17:40,269
What did I do to you?
278
00:17:40,270 --> 00:17:42,470
You spit in the face of my gift card.
279
00:17:42,690 --> 00:17:44,330
So you used it without me?
280
00:17:44,910 --> 00:17:47,950
I rescued it like a puppy from the
drawer.
281
00:17:49,030 --> 00:17:51,870
And then I tried to do the right thing
and you called me cheap.
282
00:17:52,270 --> 00:17:54,330
I am not cheap.
283
00:17:54,690 --> 00:17:58,810
Oh, I'm sorry. The altruistic
philanthropist skipped out on the check.
284
00:18:00,190 --> 00:18:01,190
Ruby?
285
00:18:02,490 --> 00:18:03,910
I'm selfish do -gooder.
286
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,160
How dare you?
287
00:18:07,780 --> 00:18:13,440
Pepper, I spent $200 on that certificate
for you because it was your birthday. I
288
00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:16,520
wanted to show you how much you mean to
me.
289
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:17,720
Actually, Dad.
290
00:18:18,860 --> 00:18:20,600
How's Uncle Andy's birthday cake coming?
291
00:18:20,940 --> 00:18:24,160
Really good. We're out of baking soda,
so I used diet soda.
292
00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:27,200
Good thinking.
293
00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:33,340
What'd you get Uncle Andy? Oh, I got him
what I call the birthday combo package.
294
00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:35,320
Flashlight.
295
00:18:35,980 --> 00:18:38,480
A ten pound can of chocolate pudding.
296
00:18:40,260 --> 00:18:41,260
Jumper candles.
297
00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:45,760
Dad, he's your best friend. You have to
get him something more than that.
298
00:18:45,980 --> 00:18:46,859
I did.
299
00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:47,860
Pickles.
300
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,420
He's family, Dad. And that jar is half
empty.
301
00:18:52,220 --> 00:18:54,400
Correction. Half full.
302
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,440
Final. I'll get him something good.
303
00:19:07,820 --> 00:19:13,320
You had to be talked into this present
you stole from me after I so generously
304
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,060
gave you that satellite radio?
305
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,620
It crackles when I drive under bridges.
306
00:19:17,940 --> 00:19:21,960
It's a good gift, Jim. And it came from
my heart because I'm the generous one.
307
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,260
Not so fast.
308
00:19:24,460 --> 00:19:26,800
Is that Daddy's birthday present? Sure
is.
309
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:27,759
What'd you get him?
310
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:33,420
Oh, he is gonna love it. I got him a
moose that poops candy, a naked lady
311
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:34,820
and...
312
00:19:35,580 --> 00:19:36,580
Jumper cables.
313
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:41,840
Fine, I'll get him something good.
314
00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:47,180
I think I know what the problem is here.
I think I do, too.
315
00:19:53,940 --> 00:19:54,940
It's your fault.
316
00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:58,980
Me? What did I do?
317
00:19:59,180 --> 00:20:00,820
You forced us to be generous.
318
00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:05,700
We would have been perfectly happy with
the... gifts that we planned for each
319
00:20:05,700 --> 00:20:07,780
other, but you had a sticky little nose
in it.
320
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:13,720
Andy, do you still have that candy
pooping moose?
321
00:20:15,140 --> 00:20:16,740
If you still have that pudding.
322
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:20,600
Come on over here and give me a big hug.
323
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,240
I just can't move, Jim. Something's
going to pop.
324
00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:32,640
Well, let's just hold hands.
325
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,040
Oh, I tasted a little bit of that.
326
00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:42,900
You two are crazy.
327
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:47,020
Do something about her, Jim. She's
ruining our moment.
328
00:20:48,900 --> 00:20:50,240
What can I say, Ruby?
329
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,820
You're growing up, but you're not your
mother yet.
330
00:20:54,580 --> 00:20:58,620
So I forbid you to act like her until
you have your own grown -up man to
331
00:20:58,620 --> 00:20:59,620
manipulate.
332
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:05,050
Yeah, ruin. his life. Stay the H out of
ours.
333
00:21:06,830 --> 00:21:08,030
Hold on a second.
334
00:21:09,110 --> 00:21:10,790
You gotta make this right.
335
00:21:12,930 --> 00:21:14,230
Andy, are you free tomorrow night?
336
00:21:15,450 --> 00:21:16,890
Is everything okay over here?
337
00:21:17,670 --> 00:21:20,190
Keep it coming till all this money's
gone.
338
00:21:22,810 --> 00:21:24,990
Hey, what do we do if she can't cover
this?
339
00:21:25,810 --> 00:21:26,850
Sneak out the bathroom.
340
00:21:29,490 --> 00:21:31,110
You want a piece, honey? Can't have it.
25693
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