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1
00:00:01,320 --> 00:00:03,060
I'm thirsty. Would you loan me a beer?
Shh.
2
00:00:04,180 --> 00:00:07,980
Oh, right. If the beers know we're
coming, they'll try to hide.
3
00:00:09,420 --> 00:00:12,140
I just want to have a beer before the
screaming starts.
4
00:00:12,500 --> 00:00:13,500
What screaming?
5
00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:15,380
Cheryl's resting upstairs.
6
00:00:16,020 --> 00:00:18,020
And you know how she gets crazy every
pregnancy?
7
00:00:18,340 --> 00:00:20,860
Well, it's double this time because
she's having twins.
8
00:00:21,620 --> 00:00:23,980
Plus, those hormones go nuts when you're
older.
9
00:00:25,840 --> 00:00:29,520
Don't say that word in this house. Which
word? Hormones are older.
10
00:00:31,589 --> 00:00:32,610
Don't do that.
11
00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:34,250
Be quiet.
12
00:00:34,750 --> 00:00:39,190
You know, Cheryl, during every
pregnancy, there's one point where she
13
00:00:39,190 --> 00:00:40,190
to the dark side.
14
00:00:41,530 --> 00:00:45,510
She's right on the edge, and I don't
want her to go over it.
15
00:01:45,729 --> 00:01:48,470
Hello, my young skinny bride.
16
00:01:50,150 --> 00:01:52,010
My life is over.
17
00:01:53,050 --> 00:01:58,310
Oh, come on, honey. Don't be silly. You
got so much in life to look forward to.
18
00:01:58,490 --> 00:02:01,550
For example, isn't it time to start
making dinner?
19
00:02:06,220 --> 00:02:07,220
I saw the doctor today.
20
00:02:08,580 --> 00:02:09,620
Twins are fine.
21
00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:14,140
As a precautionary measure, he wants to
put me on bed rest.
22
00:02:15,300 --> 00:02:16,300
All night?
23
00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:20,520
Until the babies are born.
24
00:02:22,140 --> 00:02:24,600
Does this have to start before dinner?
25
00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:29,500
There's a lot to absorb here.
26
00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:31,320
Give me a minute.
27
00:02:33,420 --> 00:02:35,580
I mean, it's going to be really hard on
me.
28
00:02:40,340 --> 00:02:42,180
Well, won't you be lying down?
29
00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:44,040
Stop, honey!
30
00:02:45,480 --> 00:02:49,760
Honey, I've been away from my family for
months, giving my mom sponge baths,
31
00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:52,040
because boo -hoo, she broke her hair.
32
00:02:53,540 --> 00:02:59,140
And then you, you did your filthy
business on me on an airplane, got me
33
00:02:59,140 --> 00:03:01,420
knocked up. Honey, honey.
34
00:03:01,720 --> 00:03:05,500
Well, you bring your whores around and
forget all about me! Honey, come on!
35
00:03:07,060 --> 00:03:08,600
Easy, baby, easy.
36
00:03:08,890 --> 00:03:09,890
Easy.
37
00:03:10,110 --> 00:03:11,870
It's not going to be that bad.
38
00:03:13,430 --> 00:03:19,050
Honest. Look, while you were in Florida
taking care of your mom, I took care of
39
00:03:19,050 --> 00:03:20,050
the house, right?
40
00:03:20,250 --> 00:03:23,050
Yeah. I will continue to do so.
41
00:03:24,890 --> 00:03:31,710
Right? All I want you to do is relax and
concentrate on making
42
00:03:31,710 --> 00:03:32,770
these babies beautiful.
43
00:03:33,910 --> 00:03:35,430
What about Gracie's party?
44
00:03:35,910 --> 00:03:37,210
Her birthday party? Yes!
45
00:03:38,030 --> 00:03:40,810
I reserved the Cotillion Room at the
National Girl doll store.
46
00:03:44,510 --> 00:03:45,510
Not a problem.
47
00:03:45,870 --> 00:03:48,070
Is Cotillion more than a billion?
48
00:03:48,330 --> 00:03:49,530
Oh. All right. Come on.
49
00:03:50,530 --> 00:03:53,590
National Girl dolls have only been your
daughter's favorite thing for the last
50
00:03:53,590 --> 00:03:54,469
two years.
51
00:03:54,470 --> 00:03:57,370
Perhaps you remember a few dinners with
a little doll named Constance
52
00:03:57,370 --> 00:03:58,370
Higginbottom?
53
00:03:59,870 --> 00:04:01,730
Oh, that quiet girl didn't talk?
54
00:04:02,930 --> 00:04:06,390
Yeah, I liked her. She was polite and
let me take food off her plate.
55
00:04:08,300 --> 00:04:09,820
The Italian room is a very big deal.
56
00:04:10,420 --> 00:04:12,440
We've been on the waiting list for over
a year.
57
00:04:13,040 --> 00:04:14,600
And now I'm going to have to cancel.
58
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:17,160
And it's going to break little Gracie's
heart.
59
00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:19,160
Honey.
60
00:04:20,060 --> 00:04:22,100
Please. We're not going to cancel.
61
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,720
I will handle it.
62
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,000
Yeah, right.
63
00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:29,780
It's ten little girls and their dolls
having high tea.
64
00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:31,760
Not a problem.
65
00:04:33,300 --> 00:04:34,300
I'll handle it.
66
00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:37,440
Do you mean it?
67
00:04:38,940 --> 00:04:39,940
Yes, I do.
68
00:04:41,780 --> 00:04:42,840
And I love you.
69
00:04:44,780 --> 00:04:45,780
Do you?
70
00:04:46,380 --> 00:04:50,920
Because I've been thinking that maybe
there's an upside to you being in bed
71
00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:51,920
the time.
72
00:04:53,220 --> 00:04:56,120
Actually, honey, I talked to my OB.
73
00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,480
He said I can't have sex until after the
babies are born.
74
00:05:00,140 --> 00:05:01,140
Wow.
75
00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:05,820
Did you talk to the ear, nose, throat
guy?
76
00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,440
Give your mother lunch, and then we're
going to go to the party.
77
00:05:23,340 --> 00:05:26,600
Remember, that's not your mother in
there.
78
00:05:28,740 --> 00:05:30,140
That's the hormones.
79
00:05:32,420 --> 00:05:36,760
So don't get too close, and don't look
her in the eye.
80
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:39,420
So it's like the monkeys at the zoo.
81
00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:43,000
Except for we don't have glass to
protect us here.
82
00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:45,320
Daddy, I'm scared.
83
00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:49,280
If she says anything, just say, yes,
mommy.
84
00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:50,960
Yes, Mommy.
85
00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:54,620
To Mommy, Kyle.
86
00:05:59,260 --> 00:06:00,260
Hello.
87
00:06:01,780 --> 00:06:04,380
How are my little darlings?
88
00:06:05,700 --> 00:06:06,700
Yes, Mommy.
89
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:13,220
There's my birthday girl. Come here,
Gracie.
90
00:06:18,890 --> 00:06:19,890
It's okay, honey.
91
00:06:20,390 --> 00:06:21,390
Hey, Dad.
92
00:06:22,290 --> 00:06:27,530
Honey, I made you and your sister tea
cozies for your party.
93
00:07:01,390 --> 00:07:04,770
You're not going to get a cozy because
you get a big surprise. You get to stay
94
00:07:04,770 --> 00:07:06,110
home with mommy all day long.
95
00:07:55,660 --> 00:07:58,740
Special welcome to the birthday girl,
Gracie.
96
00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:01,860
Girls, please.
97
00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:05,540
Screaming is neither fetching nor
winsome.
98
00:08:05,780 --> 00:08:09,400
We use indoor voices or no one gets
crumpets.
99
00:08:12,780 --> 00:08:14,120
I must have had her.
100
00:08:20,260 --> 00:08:23,120
We begin with the national girl.
101
00:08:24,580 --> 00:08:27,400
Traditionally read by the mother of the
birthday girl.
102
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:30,060
But due to her being... Knocked up.
103
00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:37,179
As I was saying, since the mother isn't
here, perhaps the father would like to
104
00:08:37,179 --> 00:08:38,179
read.
105
00:08:44,059 --> 00:08:45,060
I,
106
00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:49,760
as a national girl...
107
00:08:53,710 --> 00:08:59,110
to proudly and lovingly care for my doll
and myself.
108
00:09:00,970 --> 00:09:06,450
My outfit will always be clean and my
hair will always be braided.
109
00:09:08,550 --> 00:09:09,550
Zip it.
110
00:09:10,430 --> 00:09:12,310
And I promise to always
111
00:10:02,380 --> 00:10:05,300
Today, her hair is braided in a double
flip twist.
112
00:10:08,060 --> 00:10:11,820
Born into the merchant class, Priscilla
came over on the Mayflower.
113
00:10:12,300 --> 00:10:17,100
And, after a stormy six -month
courtship, married an apothecary.
114
00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:21,680
Those apothecaries got all the tail.
115
00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:27,320
How long do you think it would take to
beat me unconscious with one of these
116
00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:28,320
dolls?
117
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,400
Gracie, it's your turn.
118
00:10:31,950 --> 00:10:33,610
I'll be back later with cake.
119
00:10:34,190 --> 00:10:35,650
Make her say cake again.
120
00:10:36,750 --> 00:10:38,570
I'm sorry, what is that you're bringing
back?
121
00:10:39,190 --> 00:10:40,190
Cake.
122
00:10:46,970 --> 00:10:51,090
This is Constance Higginbottom. She does
stuff.
123
00:10:51,310 --> 00:10:53,610
I lost her once. We found her behind
the...
124
00:11:09,900 --> 00:11:10,899
Having a good time?
125
00:11:10,900 --> 00:11:12,400
No, this party's stupid.
126
00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,500
You wish you were here with your mommy.
127
00:11:15,180 --> 00:11:17,000
No, I wish I wasn't here.
128
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:21,420
What are you talking about? I thought
this is what you wanted.
129
00:11:21,780 --> 00:11:22,860
Yeah, a year ago.
130
00:11:23,340 --> 00:11:24,400
I was a kid then.
131
00:11:25,100 --> 00:11:26,420
Well, why didn't you say something?
132
00:11:27,060 --> 00:11:28,800
Mom was so excited about this.
133
00:11:29,300 --> 00:11:30,780
And you said we shouldn't upset her.
134
00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:33,100
Crap.
135
00:11:34,540 --> 00:11:35,700
There's a lesson in this.
136
00:11:36,270 --> 00:11:39,250
This is what happens when you think of
other people before yourself.
137
00:11:40,870 --> 00:11:43,890
I guess I just wanted to make sure Mommy
got the party she wanted.
138
00:11:45,910 --> 00:11:47,050
Oh, you're a sweet kid.
139
00:11:47,910 --> 00:11:49,270
You get that from me, you know.
140
00:11:50,990 --> 00:11:52,650
But I'm going to look like her, right?
141
00:11:57,190 --> 00:11:58,290
Well, let's hope so.
142
00:12:00,190 --> 00:12:01,190
Hey, you know what?
143
00:12:02,390 --> 00:12:03,850
Why don't we give your mother...
144
00:12:04,510 --> 00:12:06,350
The tea party that she wanted for you.
145
00:12:07,510 --> 00:12:09,550
Here. Pick up that teacup.
146
00:12:11,350 --> 00:12:12,530
Okay. Smile.
147
00:12:14,450 --> 00:12:16,170
There. Look at that.
148
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:17,790
There's a tea party.
149
00:12:18,330 --> 00:12:22,370
Now, let's throw the party that you
wanted. What do you want to do? We can
150
00:12:22,370 --> 00:12:25,530
anything. Can we go play laser tag or
paintball?
151
00:12:26,570 --> 00:12:30,110
We can do anything you want at a place
we've already put a deposit down on.
152
00:12:31,110 --> 00:12:32,110
Like here.
153
00:12:32,750 --> 00:12:34,350
There's nothing here but stupid dolls.
154
00:12:35,350 --> 00:12:37,030
You see stupid dolls.
155
00:12:38,890 --> 00:12:40,850
I see braided targets.
156
00:12:43,190 --> 00:12:48,370
This is Constance Higginbottom, charged
with being stupid and betraying her
157
00:12:48,370 --> 00:12:49,830
country. Commence firing!
158
00:12:51,910 --> 00:12:53,570
Happy birthday, Gracie!
159
00:12:55,230 --> 00:12:58,510
Hey, Dad, can I go shoot Uncle Andy in
his big fat head?
160
00:12:59,310 --> 00:13:00,350
It's your day!
161
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:38,960
And one cupcake.
162
00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:40,980
And you know I'm not going to throw the
cupcake.
163
00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:42,740
This is the best party ever.
164
00:13:43,060 --> 00:13:44,520
Yeah, well, the party's over.
165
00:13:45,140 --> 00:13:49,100
Now, give me the cupcake nice and easy
or I swear to God I'll do this doll
166
00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:50,100
now.
167
00:13:51,140 --> 00:13:52,840
The last thing you need is a cupcake.
168
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:43,520
I use often, but it fits perfectly.
169
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:46,760
Hey! You're going down, lady!
170
00:14:47,140 --> 00:14:48,140
Hey!
171
00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:49,640
What was that?
172
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:50,880
Oh, that?
173
00:14:51,320 --> 00:14:52,580
That was a crumpet.
174
00:14:53,260 --> 00:14:56,560
Yeah, they're running all over the
place. It's like a petting zoo here.
175
00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:58,220
How are things at home?
176
00:14:58,720 --> 00:15:03,760
Okay. I mean, I miss you guys, but
Kyle's having fun.
177
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:06,560
Right, Kyle?
178
00:15:21,740 --> 00:15:27,840
so sorry honey but i'm getting my hair
braided bye how's mommy
179
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:31,060
oh she's great she wanted me to say
180
00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:53,380
be safe here. The question is...
181
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:29,540
We'll show Mommy the pictures of the
fake party, tell her how great it was,
182
00:16:29,540 --> 00:16:30,540
then we're out of there.
183
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:33,060
Jim, is that you?
184
00:16:34,980 --> 00:16:36,040
Yes, Mommy.
185
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:41,180
Hey. Hi.
186
00:16:41,980 --> 00:16:42,980
Hey, guys.
187
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:44,680
So how was your day?
188
00:16:44,940 --> 00:16:48,280
I don't know what hormones are, but I'm
never getting pregnant. Oh.
189
00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,300
How was your party? Tell me everything.
190
00:16:57,960 --> 00:16:58,960
Take a picture.
191
00:17:00,180 --> 00:17:03,160
She's kind of worn out, so why don't we
just get her to bed now?
192
00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:05,880
Oh, my God, so happy.
193
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,040
So very, very happy.
194
00:17:10,920 --> 00:17:13,079
Cheryl! Cheryl, what's the matter?
Cheryl!
195
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:17,520
Oh, it was the best party ever, and I
missed it.
196
00:17:18,079 --> 00:17:19,079
Come on, come on.
197
00:17:19,460 --> 00:17:20,460
Cheryl,
198
00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:24,180
Cheryl, Cheryl, look at me.
199
00:17:24,540 --> 00:17:25,540
Cheryl, look at me.
200
00:17:25,859 --> 00:17:26,859
Cheryl.
201
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,840
It's going to be okay.
202
00:17:30,180 --> 00:17:31,640
It's not okay.
203
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:37,060
It was the perfect party, and I wasn't
even there.
204
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:41,480
All right, it wasn't the perfect party,
all right? I swear.
205
00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:48,200
The fact is, National Girl Store threw
us out, banned us for life, and we'll
206
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:49,200
probably get sued.
207
00:17:57,870 --> 00:17:58,509
What'd you do?
208
00:17:58,510 --> 00:17:59,510
Steal a cupcake?
209
00:17:59,550 --> 00:18:00,810
Did you sneak in beer?
210
00:18:02,230 --> 00:18:03,230
Oh, my God.
211
00:18:03,310 --> 00:18:04,970
What? Your harmonica.
212
00:18:05,970 --> 00:18:08,670
Did you play your harmonica?
213
00:18:10,710 --> 00:18:15,130
Poor Gracie. Not poor Gracie! And I'm
pretty hot on the harmonica.
214
00:18:16,870 --> 00:18:21,550
That little girl has dreamed about that
party all year, and you ruined it!
215
00:18:21,770 --> 00:18:23,070
Cheryl, Cheryl, here's the good news.
216
00:18:23,290 --> 00:18:27,210
The good news is she didn't want that
party. I gave her a better one.
217
00:18:27,480 --> 00:18:31,100
What are you talking about? She didn't
want that party. She didn't want that
218
00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:35,060
party. Honestly, God, she liked this
party. Look, look, look, look, let me
219
00:18:35,060 --> 00:18:36,240
you. Look, look, right here.
220
00:18:37,260 --> 00:18:38,260
Okay.
221
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:40,080
All right. You see that?
222
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:44,360
Okay, that's Gracie assassinating
Priscilla Feeney.
223
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:46,800
She is a great shot.
224
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:48,660
She gets that from you, baby.
225
00:18:49,820 --> 00:18:53,980
And there is Ruby and Gracie mowing down
Tabitha.
226
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:56,580
And there is...
227
00:18:56,860 --> 00:18:58,920
Tabitha's mother picking her up early
from the party.
228
00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:02,200
There's me with two cupcakes in my
mouth.
229
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,960
See, a good time was had by all.
230
00:19:05,900 --> 00:19:06,900
What's that?
231
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,920
Looks like an upskirt of Mrs. Whitney.
232
00:19:12,060 --> 00:19:13,060
Damn it, Andy.
233
00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:17,940
So, that's really what Gracie wanted?
234
00:19:18,180 --> 00:19:19,180
Yes, honey.
235
00:19:19,660 --> 00:19:23,000
You have to understand, she grew out of
those dolls.
236
00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:26,160
She said this was the best party ever.
237
00:19:27,180 --> 00:19:28,180
A happy day.
238
00:19:30,300 --> 00:19:31,600
Come on, Cheryl.
239
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:33,600
Come on, Cheryl.
240
00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:36,800
I don't even know my own daughter.
241
00:19:37,980 --> 00:19:39,160
Come on, Cheryl.
242
00:19:41,140 --> 00:19:42,660
You really are down.
243
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,800
Cheryl, I know you feel alone.
244
00:20:00,980 --> 00:20:05,460
But you've got to understand, even
though you're swimming in that hormonal
245
00:20:05,460 --> 00:20:10,060
in your head, you've got to know that
you are the center of this family.
246
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:12,659
Are you?
247
00:20:12,660 --> 00:20:13,660
Yes.
248
00:20:14,820 --> 00:20:16,220
Cheryl, you always have been.
249
00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:18,800
And we've always been there for you.
250
00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:22,360
Cheryl.
251
00:20:25,889 --> 00:20:29,750
Why are you crying now? What is this? Is
this a happy, sad, or crazy cry?
252
00:20:31,270 --> 00:20:32,410
It's kind of a mixture.
253
00:20:34,230 --> 00:20:38,970
You know, it's just... It's only going
to be a few more months now that this
254
00:20:38,970 --> 00:20:40,630
family is just the five of us.
255
00:20:42,530 --> 00:20:43,630
I'm missing it.
256
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:54,870
Cheryl Mabel, you're not going to miss
anything.
257
00:20:56,270 --> 00:20:57,270
Okay.
258
00:20:59,430 --> 00:21:00,450
Mama's the queen.
259
00:21:01,050 --> 00:21:04,430
And Andy and I are going to lead a
charge in the castle.
260
00:21:05,310 --> 00:21:09,610
Got it? Thank you. It's so nice to not
feel isolated.
261
00:21:10,070 --> 00:21:11,070
Okay.
262
00:21:12,830 --> 00:21:13,830
Cheryl.
263
00:21:15,050 --> 00:21:17,050
Cheryl, you can't cry during an attack.
264
00:21:18,610 --> 00:21:19,610
What's wrong?
265
00:21:19,930 --> 00:21:25,710
I just... I just... I can't believe
that... You would fall for that.
19537
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