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1
00:00:03,280 --> 00:00:04,960
Thank you.
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I've gotten Jim into his church pants
for the last five years.
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All right, baby, go put that by the door
so it's ready for your first day of
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school tomorrow.
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It's too heavy.
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All right, here we go. Ready?
7
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would never shut up about it?
8
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Sorry, Gracie, I can't hear you over the
soundtrack to My Perfect Life.
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00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:22,720
Cheryl, Cheryl, Cheryl, Cheryl!
10
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What? Great news.
11
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:27,420
One of my clients got caught cheating on
his wife.
12
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Long story short, he's meeting with his
divorce lawyer tomorrow, and I get his
13
00:02:32,860 --> 00:02:34,240
tickets to the Cubs game.
14
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:37,280
Oh, no.
15
00:02:37,540 --> 00:02:39,820
Yeah. God, do they have any kids?
16
00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:41,460
It's the best part. They...
17
00:02:43,820 --> 00:02:44,900
So there's three tickets.
18
00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:50,160
So Andy and I are going to take Kyle to
his first baseball game, his first Cubs
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00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:51,160
game ever tomorrow.
20
00:02:51,620 --> 00:02:53,800
Well, tomorrow, no, no, Jim.
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00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:55,540
Tomorrow's Kyle's first day of
kindergarten.
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00:02:56,060 --> 00:02:57,660
Oh, come on. What's he going to learn?
How to take a nap?
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00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,980
I've been homeschooling him in that
since birth.
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No, no.
25
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:05,400
The first day of school is when they
learn what's expected of them and
26
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pairs off with their new little friend.
27
00:03:10,860 --> 00:03:14,140
It's not more important than a father
and son going to their first ball game
28
00:03:14,140 --> 00:03:15,460
together, their first Cubs game.
29
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Well, luckily this is an education
issue, which makes it my territory.
30
00:03:19,760 --> 00:03:24,280
No, no, no, no, no. This is a Cubs
issue, a sports issue. And according to
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00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:30,180
wedding vows and the Geneva Convention,
that is my territory, young lady.
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00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:34,060
Honey, why don't you just take them on a
Saturday when there's even half school?
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00:03:34,400 --> 00:03:38,960
Sure, these are free tickets. They are
front row tickets right there by the
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00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:42,800
dugout. 20 years from now, Kyle's going
to be able to tell his friends he was so
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00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,980
close to the dugout he could take Dusty
Baker's toothpick right out of his
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00:03:45,980 --> 00:03:46,980
mouth.
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00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:50,900
Yeah, and I'm sure all the other school
-skipping fry cooks will be duly
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00:03:50,900 --> 00:03:51,900
impressed.
39
00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:59,780
Cheryl, I believe fry cooks are a very
important part of the shining city on
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00:03:59,780 --> 00:04:02,000
hill that I like to call America.
41
00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:08,660
Now, Kyle is going to that game
tomorrow, and that...
42
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:10,160
It's final.
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00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:23,240
Vito.
44
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:28,480
I see.
45
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The Vito?
46
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Yeah, that's right, Vito.
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Kyle's going to school tomorrow.
48
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You don't have a veto.
49
00:04:42,990 --> 00:04:43,990
It's my turn.
50
00:04:44,310 --> 00:04:45,310
No, no, Jim.
51
00:04:45,790 --> 00:04:50,110
Last Thursday, I said Kyle could not pee
in the Chuck E. Cheese parking lot.
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00:04:52,150 --> 00:04:55,110
You said veto. Now we can't go there
anymore.
53
00:04:56,210 --> 00:04:58,890
And the veto reverts to me. Challenge
denied.
54
00:05:01,330 --> 00:05:02,330
Curses!
55
00:05:03,250 --> 00:05:05,870
Yeah. I'll drop him off at 8. You pick
him up.
56
00:05:06,690 --> 00:05:07,690
Appeal! Ta -da!
57
00:05:11,630 --> 00:05:12,630
you heard on the news.
58
00:05:13,930 --> 00:05:14,930
Insurgent!
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00:05:20,650 --> 00:05:22,870
Oh, look at you.
60
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,890
Your first day of kindergarten.
61
00:05:26,610 --> 00:05:31,170
Are you sure you don't want me to walk
you in? Nope, I'm a big boy now.
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00:05:31,770 --> 00:05:32,870
Yes, you are.
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00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:43,519
No tears.
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00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:45,780
Otherwise she'll walk in and we'll miss
the first inning.
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00:05:48,820 --> 00:05:49,820
Pudding?
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00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:52,800
No.
67
00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:56,380
Then we'd be two guys in the bushes
eating pudding.
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00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:00,360
Okay.
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00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:01,580
Have a good day.
70
00:06:02,220 --> 00:06:03,220
I love you.
71
00:06:03,820 --> 00:06:04,820
Wave goodbye.
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00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:06,459
That's it.
73
00:06:06,460 --> 00:06:07,980
Let her know everything's fine.
74
00:06:08,840 --> 00:06:09,840
No, no, no, no, no.
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00:06:25,390 --> 00:06:26,390
We almost had a disaster.
76
00:06:27,530 --> 00:06:28,530
Almost?
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Ants are crawling all through my
pudding.
78
00:06:32,990 --> 00:06:33,990
Still pudding.
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00:06:39,650 --> 00:06:40,650
Hats.
80
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:45,010
Oh, good morning, Jim. How are you?
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00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,590
I'm okay, Miss Crawford.
82
00:06:46,850 --> 00:06:50,030
I'm sorry. Was that Miss Crawford or
Mrs. Crawford?
83
00:06:50,690 --> 00:06:51,950
Admit, I'm not married.
84
00:06:54,890 --> 00:06:59,670
Well, then maybe you could teach me the
three R's. Reading, writing, and car.
85
00:07:05,930 --> 00:07:10,350
Mr. Crawford, there's been a family
emergency, and I'm going to have to take
86
00:07:10,350 --> 00:07:11,350
Kyle out of school.
87
00:07:11,710 --> 00:07:13,350
His aunt is very sick.
88
00:07:13,610 --> 00:07:16,810
Oh, I'm so sorry. Should I have someone
pull Ruby and Gracie out of their
89
00:07:16,810 --> 00:07:17,810
classes as well?
90
00:07:22,090 --> 00:07:23,090
That's right.
91
00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:24,210
You know them.
92
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:29,060
Not a good idea? No.
93
00:07:29,420 --> 00:07:35,340
No, they were the ones that accidentally
dropped the hair dryer in the tub.
94
00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:42,280
That's a very dark day in our family.
95
00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:44,880
Okay, Cal, come on, shake a leg!
96
00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:16,220
with my son in his first Cubs game,
first baseball game ever.
97
00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,780
Boy, can this day get any better?
98
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:22,000
I'm going to be a baseball player when I
grow up.
99
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:24,020
It just got better.
100
00:08:26,780 --> 00:08:27,579
That's it.
101
00:08:27,580 --> 00:08:29,640
I got it. I got it. I got it.
102
00:08:30,860 --> 00:08:31,860
Kyle,
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00:08:32,900 --> 00:08:34,220
Kyle, what happened? What happened?
104
00:08:34,440 --> 00:08:35,520
Let me see. Let me see.
105
00:08:35,860 --> 00:08:37,400
Hold on. Hold on. Are you all right?
106
00:08:47,370 --> 00:08:50,430
Here's a nice ice -cold beer. It'll make
your eye feel much better.
107
00:08:51,450 --> 00:08:52,670
No, don't drink it.
108
00:08:53,650 --> 00:08:55,070
Put it up against your eye.
109
00:08:56,710 --> 00:08:57,790
Now what am I going to do?
110
00:08:58,090 --> 00:09:00,050
We're going to get this baby
autographed.
111
00:09:00,410 --> 00:09:03,490
And you said this day couldn't get any
better.
112
00:09:04,030 --> 00:09:05,030
Losers!
113
00:09:06,650 --> 00:09:13,630
All right, come here. Come here, my boy.
Let's see if that ice helped.
114
00:09:16,010 --> 00:09:18,990
Yeah, good luck with that, Jim. Stay
right here.
115
00:09:19,550 --> 00:09:20,550
Everything's going to be fine.
116
00:09:21,150 --> 00:09:26,310
Look, all we got to do is walk in there
and do exactly what we talked about. All
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00:09:26,310 --> 00:09:27,550
right? Okay.
118
00:09:28,410 --> 00:09:32,510
My son's first Cubs game and his first
scheme with his dad.
119
00:09:34,070 --> 00:09:36,190
Oh, boy. They get old fast.
120
00:09:37,050 --> 00:09:40,050
Before you know it, he'll be hitting a
parked car and not leaving a note.
121
00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:05,020
Why don't you take Kyle in the kitchen
and get something colder for his eye?
122
00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:06,480
Like a beer?
123
00:10:07,180 --> 00:10:09,080
A beer?
124
00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:12,160
Cheryl, what are they teaching at that
school, huh?
125
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:16,160
Do not take me down with you, I swear to
God.
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00:10:18,760 --> 00:10:23,440
Mommy will be right in, my brave, sweet
little mint. I want blood.
127
00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:25,320
Who did that?
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00:10:26,300 --> 00:10:27,300
The boy.
129
00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:35,760
and his mother right now. You know, her
husband owns a car dealership. They
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00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:36,780
think they poop sunshine.
131
00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:40,980
Cheryl, Cheryl, Cheryl, Cheryl, I
already talked to the mother. And may I
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00:10:40,980 --> 00:10:43,040
you, playground battles are my
territory.
133
00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:44,379
I don't care.
134
00:10:44,380 --> 00:10:45,380
I really feel like... Veto!
135
00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:51,040
Can't veto me.
136
00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:52,640
Yes, I can.
137
00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:54,880
Veto.
138
00:10:58,120 --> 00:11:01,710
Cheryl, if you keep stepping in like
this, The kids are going to call him a
139
00:11:01,710 --> 00:11:03,690
mama's boy, and it's going to follow him
the rest of his life.
140
00:11:04,110 --> 00:11:05,110
Ask Andy.
141
00:11:07,550 --> 00:11:10,610
But his little eye.
142
00:11:10,830 --> 00:11:12,530
My veto has spoken.
143
00:11:15,530 --> 00:11:16,530
What's for dinner?
144
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:18,510
Veggie tacos.
145
00:11:20,130 --> 00:11:22,910
Is that the truth, or are you just
saying that because you want me to
146
00:11:22,910 --> 00:11:23,910
veto?
147
00:11:25,390 --> 00:11:26,390
Curses!
148
00:11:29,579 --> 00:11:32,160
Okay, buddy, you know what to say if
anybody asks you about your black eye?
149
00:11:32,500 --> 00:11:34,140
You should see the other guy.
150
00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:36,720
That's my boy.
151
00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:38,560
Hi. Good morning.
152
00:11:39,460 --> 00:11:41,160
Turn, girl, it is now.
153
00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:48,680
There are ants all over the place.
154
00:11:49,460 --> 00:11:51,940
What kind of weird kid eats his pudding
in the bushes?
155
00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:54,640
Shh.
156
00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:57,380
That Ronnie Hart better stay away from
my Kyle.
157
00:12:00,170 --> 00:12:02,730
Oh, you know what? When he got the news
that his aunt was going to pull through,
158
00:12:02,950 --> 00:12:05,230
he got all worked up and just ran into a
wall.
159
00:12:06,910 --> 00:12:08,710
Yeah, we got a couple of those.
160
00:12:09,810 --> 00:12:16,690
Hey, Teach, I'm having trouble with the
alphabet. I keep trying to put you and I
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00:12:16,690 --> 00:12:17,690
together.
162
00:12:22,570 --> 00:12:23,950
Hey, hey, Tim's leaving.
163
00:12:24,170 --> 00:12:27,530
Oh, Kyle's talking to that demon spawn,
Ronnie.
164
00:12:28,470 --> 00:12:29,630
Is that a black eye?
165
00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:31,460
You should see the other guy.
166
00:12:32,780 --> 00:12:33,780
Can I look?
167
00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:36,940
Hey! Hey! Hey!
168
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,240
Get your hands off my kid buster!
169
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:42,100
Cool. Want to be best friends?
170
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:43,500
Hey!
171
00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:05,760
talking about? Oh, she's stonewalling
you, Cheryl. Oh, is that her?
172
00:13:06,080 --> 00:13:09,060
You stonewalling me, lady? You
stonewalling me?
173
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:11,300
What is going on here?
174
00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:12,700
Who is this?
175
00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,240
I'm Kyle's aunt.
176
00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:15,800
Oh, how are you feeling?
177
00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:18,300
I'm fine, thanks. How are you? Excuse
me!
178
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:23,340
Why are we not talking about how your
son attacked Kyle?
179
00:13:23,740 --> 00:13:28,200
What? Your husband beat Kyle up right
after drop -off to visit you in the
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00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:29,200
hospital.
181
00:13:41,230 --> 00:13:42,690
take you to a baseball game yesterday?
182
00:13:42,910 --> 00:13:44,650
Is that where you got the black eye?
183
00:13:45,370 --> 00:13:47,010
You should see the other guy.
184
00:13:55,890 --> 00:13:57,430
Hello, my young bride.
185
00:13:58,130 --> 00:13:59,130
You know what, honey?
186
00:13:59,430 --> 00:14:00,430
I've been thinking.
187
00:14:00,750 --> 00:14:01,790
You are right.
188
00:14:02,750 --> 00:14:07,190
I think I'll take Kyle to the Cubs game
Saturday when it's appropriate.
189
00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:10,919
Good, honey.
190
00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,600
And maybe another foul ball can hit his
other eye.
191
00:14:43,370 --> 00:14:44,370
versus
192
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:26,500
Yeah,
193
00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:29,680
but that somebody also told you that the
bully problem was handled.
194
00:15:30,100 --> 00:15:31,300
There was no bully problem!
195
00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:33,280
Doesn't matter.
196
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:37,200
I gave you a veto, and you completely
ignored it.
197
00:15:37,880 --> 00:15:39,580
I am beside myself.
198
00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:45,820
I specifically told you not to talk to
the bully's mom or the teacher.
199
00:15:51,980 --> 00:15:54,480
up somebody and you killed him, it would
still be murder.
200
00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:58,560
And that's not me, Cheryl. That's the
law talking.
201
00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:02,280
Yeah, well, it sounds like the beer
talking.
202
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:06,460
Oh, what? I can't unwind with a quick
one after work anymore?
203
00:16:07,540 --> 00:16:10,840
You let our son skip his first day of
school.
204
00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:14,020
You are going to make our son into a
mama's boy. No, I...
205
00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:21,979
I'm leaving.
206
00:16:21,980 --> 00:16:22,980
Challenge!
207
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:27,600
Grounds?
208
00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:30,180
You stormed out of the room last time.
It's my turn.
209
00:16:32,820 --> 00:16:33,820
Challenge upheld.
210
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:57,240
You want to make me a snack?
211
00:17:16,079 --> 00:17:17,079
Kyle?
212
00:17:19,020 --> 00:17:20,020
Hey, Dad.
213
00:17:20,579 --> 00:17:21,579
Want some eggs?
214
00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:24,180
But you're a finger in my imagination.
215
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,200
Are those eggs real?
216
00:17:27,060 --> 00:17:28,660
Ten bucks says you'll eat them either
way.
217
00:17:31,580 --> 00:17:32,820
You win again, imagination.
218
00:17:34,100 --> 00:17:35,740
Wow, these really look good.
219
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:38,680
Oh, my God, your mom was right.
220
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:40,380
You are a fry cook.
221
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:45,700
No, I just wanted to make my dear old
dad some eggs for getting me front row
222
00:17:45,700 --> 00:17:47,120
seats for my first Cubs game.
223
00:17:47,380 --> 00:17:48,380
I knew it.
224
00:17:49,040 --> 00:17:51,300
Baseball is the greatest. And, you know,
I'm pretty good at it, too.
225
00:17:51,980 --> 00:17:53,840
Really? Are you in the bigs?
226
00:17:54,270 --> 00:17:56,550
Hey, are you going to buy me a new
house? Do I have a boat?
227
00:17:58,290 --> 00:18:01,150
Nah, I got cut from my high school team
for skipping practice.
228
00:18:02,310 --> 00:18:03,950
Well, Kyle, what do you skip practice
for?
229
00:18:04,710 --> 00:18:05,970
Because I thought I could get away with
it.
230
00:18:06,470 --> 00:18:09,710
You know, I'm good at baseball, but I'm
even better at schemes.
231
00:18:14,550 --> 00:18:15,670
Probably get that from me, huh?
232
00:18:27,020 --> 00:18:28,020
I love this movie.
233
00:18:30,620 --> 00:18:31,620
Kyle?
234
00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:32,820
Yeah, it's me.
235
00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:36,180
You know, I did a term in Portugal
studying for my PhD.
236
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:42,420
That's because education was my
territory?
237
00:18:45,420 --> 00:18:47,320
And now you have a PhD.
238
00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:52,920
Oh, no, I don't. I wrote my thesis, but
you weren't there to defend it for me.
239
00:18:56,940 --> 00:18:58,080
That shouldn't have stopped you.
240
00:18:58,300 --> 00:18:59,640
That's what my advisor said.
241
00:19:01,820 --> 00:19:07,820
Is it over?
242
00:19:09,060 --> 00:19:11,020
I really screwed you up, didn't I?
243
00:19:11,960 --> 00:19:13,500
I really screwed you up, didn't I?
244
00:19:15,660 --> 00:19:16,660
You're really fun.
245
00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:18,580
And you taught me about being a guy.
246
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:20,480
Well, thank you.
247
00:19:21,220 --> 00:19:25,080
But, you know, let's face it. If all I
had was you, I'd be a complete disaster.
248
00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:30,160
Fair enough.
249
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:35,760
Well, see, most of the time you teach me
about responsibility, and you give me
250
00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:37,720
comfort and security to try new things.
251
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:39,600
Thank you.
252
00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:42,660
But you've got to learn how to let go
sometimes.
253
00:19:45,580 --> 00:19:47,760
You know, I really think you and Dad
should work together.
254
00:19:48,340 --> 00:19:52,260
You balance each other, like the Chinese
principle of yin and yang.
255
00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:54,260
Right.
256
00:19:54,620 --> 00:19:56,220
You're like peanut butter and jelly.
257
00:19:58,730 --> 00:19:59,730
One more time.
258
00:20:01,530 --> 00:20:04,770
Why don't you just go in the living room
and talk to Mom? I'm not going to do
259
00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:05,770
that, Kyle.
260
00:20:05,850 --> 00:20:06,850
Come on, Dad.
261
00:20:08,870 --> 00:20:09,870
For me.
262
00:20:16,810 --> 00:20:17,810
You going to get these?
263
00:20:18,570 --> 00:20:20,090
Oh, someone will.
264
00:20:22,490 --> 00:20:23,490
That's my boy.
265
00:20:29,379 --> 00:20:30,379
Hey. Hey.
266
00:20:30,620 --> 00:20:33,040
Oh, Cheryl, we need to talk. I know, we
do.
267
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:35,720
I was wrong.
268
00:20:37,460 --> 00:20:38,460
Oh.
269
00:20:39,860 --> 00:20:40,860
Well.
270
00:20:42,980 --> 00:20:43,980
Apology accepted.
271
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:46,060
Please, come on.
272
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:47,620
Let's just go to bed.
273
00:20:50,940 --> 00:20:52,160
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
274
00:20:55,660 --> 00:20:58,060
Uh, maybe I might have...
275
00:21:01,350 --> 00:21:03,830
a little less than right to.
276
00:21:05,370 --> 00:21:06,670
Oh, thank you.
277
00:21:08,250 --> 00:21:09,250
Oh.
278
00:21:11,550 --> 00:21:13,970
You know, Kyle told me you gave him a
beer.
279
00:21:14,670 --> 00:21:18,410
I didn't do it on purpose. But you know
what? You give them a sip now, they hate
280
00:21:18,410 --> 00:21:20,790
it, and when they grow up, they don't
want any. That's what my dad did for me.
281
00:21:25,210 --> 00:21:28,030
All right, working together is probably
a good idea.
20774
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