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1
00:00:04,020 --> 00:00:05,620
Hey. What's with the ice pack?
2
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:09,920
Well, Andy, today my son took a giant
step into manhood.
3
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My pants bit me.
4
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He had his first zipper malfunction.
5
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:20,820
Oh, ouch. Kyle.
6
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:24,560
Oh, this is going to be one of the few
days in your life you'll wish you were a
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woman.
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Today and every time you go out on a
date because they don't pay for
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00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:34,620
Anyway, tip -offs in two minutes. Oh,
great. Just enough time for a bathroom
10
00:00:34,620 --> 00:00:35,620
break.
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00:00:37,460 --> 00:00:38,460
Still hurts, huh?
12
00:00:40,180 --> 00:00:41,180
I'm sorry, son.
13
00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:45,420
Well, that's the price we men pay for
being able to have something to grab
14
00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:46,540
we're trying to emphasize a point.
15
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You know what? Soon you'll be able to
learn to take care of it, and these kind
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00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:54,340
of mistakes won't ever happen again.
17
00:01:07,050 --> 00:01:08,710
I have a Snoopy bandage. How about you?
18
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Oh, baby.
19
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Daddy? Yes, my sweethearts?
20
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We want to be allowed to say bad words.
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You know, cursing is a big
responsibility.
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And you're going to want to do it right.
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So why don't you write a report on the
bad words you'd like to use and how you
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want to use them.
25
00:01:43,790 --> 00:01:48,750
Right. Right. Ten pages, single spaced.
And don't just copy it out of an
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encyclopedia.
27
00:01:51,490 --> 00:01:53,790
That's a lot of work just to say the R
words.
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00:01:54,130 --> 00:01:55,970
Well, that's the price you pay.
29
00:02:06,060 --> 00:02:06,738
this weekend.
30
00:02:06,740 --> 00:02:08,240
Bye. Stop it.
31
00:02:08,840 --> 00:02:10,080
What are you talking about?
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You're a dead man. Tell him.
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I'm going to a stock car racing driving
school and apparently Dana thinks she's
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the boss of me.
35
00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:23,680
Well, excuse me if I don't want my
fiance crashing into a wall at 200 miles
36
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hour. 200 miles an hour? Kick ass!
37
00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:31,980
You know, at that speed, a bug is like a
bullet. It'll rip your arm clean off.
38
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Big help, Andy. Thanks.
39
00:02:35,459 --> 00:02:38,360
I've been trying to explain to Dana that
they take a lot of precautions, all
40
00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:39,580
right? And it's entirely safe.
41
00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:44,500
Yeah, they give you helmets, a fire
suit. A fire suit. Great, great. All
42
00:02:44,520 --> 00:02:47,140
so how am I going to introduce you at
the wedding? Hi, everyone, this is my
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husband. His skin comes from a pig.
44
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No, that's it. You're not going. Start
car racing. Yeah, you know what? We'll
45
00:02:54,140 --> 00:02:56,520
see about that. Hey, hey, it's okay.
I'll talk to her.
46
00:02:58,320 --> 00:02:59,320
Here's the good news.
47
00:02:59,540 --> 00:03:02,620
The closer you get to the wedding, the
crazier she'll get.
48
00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:07,260
Hey, Ryan, word of advice. Be careful of
those fire suits.
49
00:03:07,460 --> 00:03:08,820
They have mighty big zippers.
50
00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:16,120
Yeah, hi. I'm getting married at your
hotel on the 15th. Yeah, cancel
51
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everything. Give me, give me, give me.
52
00:03:18,860 --> 00:03:19,860
Stop it!
53
00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:24,320
Hi, this is Cheryl. I'm Dana. This is
your false alarm.
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Yeah, good to talk to you again, too.
55
00:03:26,780 --> 00:03:27,780
Okay.
56
00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:29,240
Cheryl! What?
57
00:03:29,480 --> 00:03:30,480
How?
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Chocolate.
59
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:45,880
this thing with ryan all wrong when men
are on the threshold of a major
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00:03:45,880 --> 00:03:49,380
commitment they need to do something
reckless to prove they're still in
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of their own destinies this is really
good is it sugar -free it is can you
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00:03:53,720 --> 00:04:00,480
believe it focus focus okay when jim and
i got engaged he suddenly decided he
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00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:05,800
needed a motorcycle and i said no
there's no way you're getting one of
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he did because i made it a thing well it
is a thing
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00:04:10,900 --> 00:04:11,900
Honey.
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00:04:13,700 --> 00:04:17,560
Word to the wise, never get between a
guy and his thing.
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00:04:20,079 --> 00:04:23,960
Why can't Ryan's thing be something that
keeps him at home? You know, like
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fantasy football or girls on the
internet.
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00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:30,220
Because that doesn't show you he's in
charge.
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00:04:30,540 --> 00:04:31,600
He's not in charge.
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I'm going to stop him. No, no, no. Stop,
stop, stop, stop, stop. No.
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00:04:35,300 --> 00:04:37,780
Dana, you don't stop them.
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You let them stop themselves.
74
00:04:41,540 --> 00:04:42,540
Mental judo.
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00:04:43,940 --> 00:04:44,980
I don't get it.
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00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:51,800
When I gave birth to Ruby, Jim had to go
skydiving. This time, I didn't fight
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it. You let him go?
78
00:04:53,220 --> 00:04:54,220
No.
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00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,840
I told him I loved his adventurous
spirit.
80
00:05:00,540 --> 00:05:05,100
See, I didn't make it a thing, so he
forgot all about it. He never mentioned
81
00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:06,100
again.
82
00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:07,880
Adventurous spirit?
83
00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:09,340
Yeah. He ate it up.
84
00:05:09,580 --> 00:05:11,980
I even got him a helmet that said
Geronimo Jim.
85
00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:15,280
And you weren't afraid that he was going
to go through with it?
86
00:05:15,540 --> 00:05:18,820
Well, a little. But the scientific
breakthrough was worth it.
87
00:05:21,140 --> 00:05:25,660
Wow. This whole simple housewife thing
is just a ruse.
88
00:05:25,940 --> 00:05:26,940
You're a genius.
89
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:29,680
You know I am.
90
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:33,280
Yes, we call it reverse psychology.
91
00:05:34,140 --> 00:05:36,740
Oh, also, helps if you wear something
low -cut.
92
00:05:40,460 --> 00:05:47,380
said, woman, woman, I'm going skydiving
and that's that.
93
00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:50,920
I know that's right.
94
00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:57,680
And she could tell by the wild, crazy
look in my eyes that I wasn't going to
95
00:05:57,680 --> 00:05:58,680
back down.
96
00:05:58,980 --> 00:05:59,980
And you know what?
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00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:01,940
She came correct.
98
00:06:04,260 --> 00:06:06,400
She even gave me a helmet that said
Toronto gym.
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00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:12,000
not only wears the pants, he wears the
helmet in this family.
100
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:17,360
That's right. That was a defining moment
in our marriage. That changed the
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course of our relationship because it
taught Cheryl to respect my sovereignty
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a man.
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00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:26,260
That's right.
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00:06:26,960 --> 00:06:27,960
Sovereignty.
105
00:06:29,900 --> 00:06:31,920
So I should just be more assertive, I
think.
106
00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:37,160
No, not more assertive. You gotta go
wild. You gotta go crazy. You gotta let
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00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:38,160
know you mean business.
108
00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:38,749
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
109
00:06:38,750 --> 00:06:41,170
Let us see your eyes. Can you get three
corners of white?
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Try it, try it. Come on, come on.
111
00:06:44,810 --> 00:06:47,470
Come on, come on. That's the best you
can do.
112
00:06:47,690 --> 00:06:50,210
We're talking about make or break a
marriage right here.
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00:06:50,430 --> 00:06:54,070
Now look at me and say, I'm going stock
car racing.
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I'm going stock car racing.
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00:06:57,210 --> 00:07:00,890
Hey, that's pretty good. For a little
girl, come on.
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00:07:01,890 --> 00:07:06,190
Look me in the eye. Come on, say it. I'm
going stock car racing and that's that.
117
00:07:10,190 --> 00:07:13,490
That's good, that's good. Now look me in
the eye and say, I'm going to march
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00:07:13,490 --> 00:07:16,490
right into that kitchen. I'm going to
march right into that kitchen. And get
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and Andy a beer. And I'm going to get
Jim and Andy... All you have to do is
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00:07:22,410 --> 00:07:23,410
Oh, sorry.
121
00:07:30,910 --> 00:07:32,630
Hey, hey, hey, hey, where are you going?
122
00:07:33,390 --> 00:07:34,870
Where's my bad word report?
123
00:07:35,270 --> 00:07:38,030
We're taking a break. We're going to
have a tea party in the backyard.
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00:07:43,050 --> 00:07:44,150
I used to be the table.
125
00:07:45,950 --> 00:07:47,550
They stuck gum to my belly.
126
00:07:50,810 --> 00:07:51,810
Hey!
127
00:07:52,270 --> 00:07:54,570
Huh? Come on, are you a man or a wuss?
128
00:07:54,970 --> 00:07:57,250
Well, have you ever seen a wuss drive
200 miles an hour?
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00:07:57,930 --> 00:07:59,810
I'm going to race stock cars. I like
that a lot.
130
00:08:00,090 --> 00:08:01,090
All right!
131
00:08:03,650 --> 00:08:06,090
When are you going to do it?
132
00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:08,760
You know, I said I'd hold off for a
little bit. I don't want to rub my
133
00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:09,800
sovereignty in her face too much.
134
00:08:10,660 --> 00:08:15,420
That is so cool, zipping around corners,
spitting in death's face. Exactly. See,
135
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:18,100
I cannot wait for that adrenaline rush,
you know? I mean, Jim, what was that
136
00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:19,100
like for you? What?
137
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When you went skydiving.
138
00:08:21,020 --> 00:08:22,320
Oh, I didn't go skydiving.
139
00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:26,540
I mean, you know, life just kind of got
in the way, a lot of distractions, you
140
00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:31,600
know, kids, sports on TV, or Cheryl
wearing a low -cut top.
141
00:08:33,460 --> 00:08:34,980
Oh, I think that's so cute.
142
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,600
Yeah, she even bought me a cool helmet.
143
00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:40,120
I told you. That's exactly what Cheryl
did for me.
144
00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:43,440
Yeah, and then she said that my
adventurous spirit was part of why she
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00:08:43,440 --> 00:08:46,580
love with me. Adventurous spirit? That's
exactly what Cheryl said to me. That's
146
00:08:46,580 --> 00:08:48,140
exactly what Cheryl said to me.
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Let me ask you a question.
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Was she wearing something low -cut?
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00:08:58,880 --> 00:09:02,120
Oh, yeah, and it was hot. It was like,
here's your helmet. That's it!
150
00:09:08,010 --> 00:09:10,590
I can't believe it. She used reverse
psychology on me.
151
00:09:13,490 --> 00:09:14,490
Wow.
152
00:09:14,670 --> 00:09:18,070
You do that to the kids all the time.
You must feel stupid.
153
00:09:21,750 --> 00:09:23,690
And we got to take a stand here, that's
all.
154
00:09:24,690 --> 00:09:28,750
That's right. Geronimo Jim is going to
soar like an eagle as a symbol for men
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00:09:28,750 --> 00:09:31,190
everywhere, never to be manipulated
again.
156
00:09:32,790 --> 00:09:35,370
You're going to go skydiving. We're
going to go skydiving.
157
00:09:35,810 --> 00:09:36,810
Yeah. Yeah.
158
00:09:42,860 --> 00:09:48,140
You know, I appreciate you guys trying
to include me, but this is kind of a
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00:09:48,140 --> 00:09:49,140
married guy thing.
160
00:09:50,620 --> 00:09:51,620
You're going.
161
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:53,440
Are you sure?
162
00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:04,400
You know, Andy, that really kind of only
works for chicks, you know.
163
00:10:06,140 --> 00:10:07,520
Are you sure?
164
00:10:18,830 --> 00:10:21,290
And I looked into his eyes and I said, I
was wrong.
165
00:10:21,730 --> 00:10:23,350
I want you to go racing.
166
00:10:23,610 --> 00:10:26,910
You should have seen the look on his
face. I love men.
167
00:10:27,250 --> 00:10:29,650
They're so simple, but they think
they're so complicated.
168
00:10:31,090 --> 00:10:35,150
Marriage is going to be so easy now that
I have the playbook. Honey, it is like
169
00:10:35,150 --> 00:10:38,910
shooting fish in a barrel. You know,
without the gun and the unnecessary
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00:10:38,910 --> 00:10:39,910
to animals.
171
00:10:57,390 --> 00:11:00,930
Talking about going to the stock car
races. And it reminded me of the time
172
00:11:00,930 --> 00:11:04,610
I wanted to go skydiving. Remember, you
wanted me to do it too because of my
173
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adventurous spirit.
174
00:11:08,230 --> 00:11:11,550
Not ringing a bell.
175
00:11:12,290 --> 00:11:16,070
I believe you said that adventurous
spirit is one of the reasons you fell in
176
00:11:16,070 --> 00:11:18,690
love with me. You even bought him this
cool helmet.
177
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:27,280
And that's not very adventurous.
178
00:11:28,940 --> 00:11:31,800
So, I'm going skydiving this weekend.
179
00:11:32,260 --> 00:11:33,680
And he's going too.
180
00:11:33,980 --> 00:11:38,660
Well, I got to check my calendar. I'm
due for a teeth cleaning. You're going.
181
00:11:40,340 --> 00:11:43,800
Dana, I've been thinking about this
whole stock car racing thing. I'm not
182
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:44,539
to do it.
183
00:11:44,540 --> 00:11:48,820
Oh, are you sure, honey? Because I'm
totally fine with it. I know.
184
00:11:49,300 --> 00:11:51,640
I just figured I'd rather go skydiving
with Jim.
185
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:54,960
You know, in honor of his...
186
00:11:55,310 --> 00:11:56,310
Adventurous spirit.
187
00:12:00,070 --> 00:12:02,490
Something wrong, sweetie?
188
00:12:02,790 --> 00:12:03,970
No, no, no, no.
189
00:12:04,350 --> 00:12:06,070
No, we're fine. It's just so exciting.
190
00:12:07,530 --> 00:12:11,490
Where are we going? We're going to go
make our adventures a hearty meal
191
00:12:11,490 --> 00:12:13,670
our three men are going to jump out of a
plane.
192
00:12:14,850 --> 00:12:15,850
Skydiving, woo!
193
00:12:19,270 --> 00:12:21,530
I think I pulled a little adventurous
spirit.
194
00:12:29,740 --> 00:12:31,520
You wouldn't break enough bones in a
blazing car crash.
195
00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:33,180
Well, it's your fault.
196
00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:34,600
Adventure of spirit?
197
00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:36,800
You used the exact same words I used on
Jim.
198
00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:38,280
Well, yeah, you said it would work.
199
00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:42,420
You can't use exact words. You've got to
mix it up. The monkeys talk.
200
00:12:45,680 --> 00:12:49,080
I thought they just talked about sports
and boobs.
201
00:12:50,260 --> 00:12:51,980
Are you sure you're ready to get
married?
202
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,280
Yeah, I even picked out the shoes.
203
00:12:55,160 --> 00:12:56,840
All right, all right, all right. We can
fix this.
204
00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:58,740
They're good, but we are better.
205
00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:01,520
You know what? No way. Game over. I'm
putting an end to this.
206
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,380
Fine, fine. Make it a thing.
207
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:04,640
Then they have to do it.
208
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:41,160
Skydiving? Jim is not going to let the
mother of his children risk her life.
209
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:45,540
when he says it's too dangerous for me,
we'd pout and use his own logic against
210
00:13:45,540 --> 00:13:46,540
him.
211
00:13:47,300 --> 00:13:50,300
Why can't you just withhold sex like a
normal woman?
212
00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:54,920
I can't help myself. I need my monkey
love.
213
00:14:10,340 --> 00:14:11,340
Rat poo?
214
00:14:11,940 --> 00:14:16,400
Rat poo?
215
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:18,340
You girls are filthy.
216
00:14:20,500 --> 00:14:23,000
Well, everything seems to be in order
here.
217
00:14:23,580 --> 00:14:24,640
Congratulations, girls.
218
00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:29,060
From now on, you can curse like polite
sailors.
219
00:14:30,640 --> 00:14:36,000
I thought the whole point of the report
was to keep them from doing what they
220
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:39,570
wanted. No, no, not after I've been
burned by reverse psychology.
221
00:14:40,610 --> 00:14:44,410
From now on, this family's going to say
what they mean and mean what they say.
222
00:14:46,450 --> 00:14:48,170
I don't want to go skydiving.
223
00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:51,290
Come on, you don't mean that.
224
00:14:52,990 --> 00:14:54,110
Hey, Jim.
225
00:14:54,390 --> 00:14:55,390
Yes?
226
00:14:55,550 --> 00:14:56,550
I've been thinking.
227
00:14:57,310 --> 00:14:58,430
Oh, have you now?
228
00:14:59,510 --> 00:15:03,830
Yeah, um, remember ten years ago when
you wanted to go skydiving? Um...
229
00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:06,240
There was something I didn't tell you.
230
00:15:06,900 --> 00:15:11,220
Well, today's a very good day to come
clean with it, then.
231
00:15:12,380 --> 00:15:17,040
Yeah, um, the thing I didn't tell you
is... Yes, my young bride?
232
00:15:18,900 --> 00:15:20,520
I want to go skydiving, too.
233
00:15:21,660 --> 00:15:23,200
Well, well, what?
234
00:15:25,540 --> 00:15:30,440
Well, for some reason I got it in my
head that it was unsafe, but you are the
235
00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:32,600
protector of this family, and you're
going to do it.
236
00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:39,080
happen. You know, besides our kids
becoming orphans in the blink of an eye.
237
00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:48,040
Well, I think that's a great idea.
238
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:56,320
Well, great.
239
00:15:58,500 --> 00:15:59,720
Absolutely great.
240
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:03,600
Finally, skydiving.
241
00:16:12,270 --> 00:16:13,650
10 ,000 feet.
242
00:16:15,210 --> 00:16:16,210
15.
243
00:16:19,610 --> 00:16:20,870
Even better.
244
00:16:25,350 --> 00:16:26,350
Trap!
245
00:16:27,670 --> 00:16:29,370
I thought she was going to fold.
246
00:16:30,030 --> 00:16:31,170
This sucks.
247
00:16:32,690 --> 00:16:33,690
Skydiving's off.
248
00:16:35,070 --> 00:16:36,550
The hell it is.
249
00:16:37,110 --> 00:16:39,190
She's bluffing and she's going to crack.
250
00:16:41,550 --> 00:16:42,810
That she rat -pooed me!
251
00:16:45,770 --> 00:16:47,150
You can use it as a verb?
252
00:16:48,910 --> 00:16:49,970
Yeah, it's right here in the report.
253
00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:58,770
So, Ryan, here we are.
254
00:16:59,190 --> 00:17:01,350
Men, hold on to our maleness.
255
00:17:02,430 --> 00:17:05,930
Gotta tell you, Jim, my maleness has
been sucked up into my body cavity.
256
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,359
Leave them up there because you're never
going to get them back.
257
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:18,400
Hey, how you doing? How's this harness
holding up?
258
00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:41,360
before she jumps out.
259
00:19:54,860 --> 00:19:57,280
you like Jim and Cheryl yeah I'd say
that's a good goal
20908
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