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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:02,180 Good night, you guys. See you at work. 2 00:00:02,860 --> 00:00:04,420 Gwen, thanks so much for coming. 3 00:00:04,660 --> 00:00:06,000 Don't forget your goodie bag. 4 00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:09,800 Bet you never got a goodie bag at a bachelorette party, huh? 5 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:13,000 Not with homemade salad dressing. 6 00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:16,620 You know, if you want the recipe. Yeah. Good night. 7 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:18,920 Good night. 8 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:25,680 That was some party, huh? Great. Yeah. Thank you for throwing it for me. Oh, 9 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:27,400 honey. Hey, what was your favorite part? 10 00:00:30,510 --> 00:00:32,189 We needed tea cozies. Yeah. 11 00:00:33,310 --> 00:00:34,830 We painted pottery. 12 00:00:35,110 --> 00:00:37,690 Right. We sat on balloons and made them pop. 13 00:00:40,110 --> 00:00:41,110 Don't make me choose. 14 00:00:43,290 --> 00:00:45,610 Oh, I am beat. 15 00:00:45,870 --> 00:00:49,570 Oh, I know. It's been a long night. God, it's already 9 .15? 16 00:00:51,410 --> 00:00:52,970 Oh, 9 .15? 17 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:54,940 Man, I better clean up in the morning. 18 00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:59,700 We're meeting with the caterer tomorrow, and we have the final fitting for your 19 00:00:59,700 --> 00:01:03,260 dress. Oh, you're going to be such a beautiful bride. 20 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:05,420 Oh, good night. 21 00:01:05,620 --> 00:01:07,420 Good night. I hope I can sleep. 22 00:01:07,620 --> 00:01:09,820 God, I'm so wired from the party. 23 00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:13,860 It's hard to come down off that knitting high, huh? 24 00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:15,140 Yeah. I know. 25 00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:17,160 Love you. Love you. 26 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:19,400 Hate this. 27 00:01:34,860 --> 00:01:37,980 No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. No naked pillow fights? No, no jello wrestling? 28 00:01:38,220 --> 00:01:40,060 No let's kiss just to see if we like it? 29 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,000 Damn! 30 00:01:44,820 --> 00:01:47,720 You mean I taped over Gracie's dance recital for nothing? 31 00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:50,600 Wow. Lame party. 32 00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:54,440 Yeah, well, when you start with a lesson from the origami lady, you burn out 33 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:55,440 quick. 34 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:59,380 You know, unless you're six or sixty, Cheryl's parties suck. 35 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:03,380 Even in fast forward, this party is slow. 36 00:02:06,410 --> 00:02:09,530 I have this little paper bird to remind me of this night. 37 00:02:10,229 --> 00:02:11,970 It doesn't even fly. What the hell? 38 00:02:15,070 --> 00:02:17,110 Dina, Dina, wait a second. Wait a second. 39 00:02:17,690 --> 00:02:19,970 Hey, you looking for a little fun? 40 00:02:20,910 --> 00:02:25,590 Because I happen to know a gentleman who has a master's degree in funology. 41 00:02:27,090 --> 00:02:31,850 He studied at the Royal Academy of Fun, did he not? Yeah, she was in charge of 42 00:02:31,850 --> 00:02:32,850 fundraising. 43 00:02:34,730 --> 00:02:35,730 Yes, yes, yes. 44 00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:39,530 And there's a jolly old sidekick who goes by the name of Fundy. Yeah. 45 00:02:39,970 --> 00:02:44,610 Hey, I get it. It's you two and you're both fun. Exactly. And Mr. 46 00:02:44,930 --> 00:02:49,350 Fundy and myself would like to take you out and give you a proper send -off. 47 00:02:50,530 --> 00:02:53,190 I'm going to go out for my bachelorette party with you two? 48 00:02:53,410 --> 00:02:54,209 No, thanks. 49 00:02:54,210 --> 00:02:56,110 Fine. Fine. Go home and pout. 50 00:02:56,530 --> 00:03:01,110 Or you can come out with us and have a night you won't remember the rest of 51 00:03:01,110 --> 00:03:02,110 life. 52 00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:06,070 Booze? Lots. 53 00:03:06,370 --> 00:03:07,430 Music? Loud. 54 00:03:08,010 --> 00:03:09,090 Strippers? Oh, yeah. 55 00:03:10,810 --> 00:03:12,210 She means male strippers. 56 00:03:12,450 --> 00:03:13,450 How? 57 00:03:14,590 --> 00:03:15,790 What the heck? All right! 58 00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:19,330 Come on, Rudy! We're going to need a chauffeur for the evening. Andy, call us 59 00:03:19,330 --> 00:03:20,450 cab. You're a cab. 60 00:03:24,810 --> 00:03:27,330 Trust me, in three hours, that's going to sound real funny. 61 00:03:28,030 --> 00:03:29,030 Come on, let's go! 62 00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:30,510 Get the cab. 63 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:37,550 Oh. 64 00:03:48,090 --> 00:03:49,090 Quiet. 65 00:03:50,650 --> 00:03:53,370 I can't believe you did that. I know. 66 00:03:54,990 --> 00:03:57,390 I know. I can't believe it myself. 67 00:03:59,830 --> 00:04:01,390 What exactly did I do? 68 00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:03,610 No idea. 69 00:04:05,290 --> 00:04:06,550 But it sure was funny. 70 00:04:07,250 --> 00:04:08,250 It was. 71 00:04:08,490 --> 00:04:09,930 It really was. 72 00:04:11,530 --> 00:04:13,970 I'm hungry. I want eggs. Yes. 73 00:04:14,190 --> 00:04:15,390 Eggs and breakfast. 74 00:04:19,750 --> 00:04:21,810 You're going to wake up breakfast. 75 00:04:24,290 --> 00:04:26,190 He said wake up breakfast. 76 00:04:27,590 --> 00:04:28,590 I see. 77 00:04:31,010 --> 00:04:32,010 All right. 78 00:04:32,490 --> 00:04:33,570 Eggs it is. 79 00:04:33,950 --> 00:04:34,950 And pancakes. 80 00:04:35,050 --> 00:04:38,030 Yes. Hey, let's have a buck and a hash brown. 81 00:04:38,270 --> 00:04:40,570 And we'll smother it with spaghetti. 82 00:04:40,930 --> 00:04:43,010 Hot spaghetti. 83 00:04:47,910 --> 00:04:50,450 What is going on down here? 84 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:52,750 Honey, 85 00:04:53,630 --> 00:05:00,310 Dandy and I, we woke up early, and we're going to make some breakfast. 86 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:03,860 Agent style. 87 00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,820 Down in the bayou. 88 00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:12,200 Shut up. You are so drunk. 89 00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:15,320 It's five in the morning. What were you doing? 90 00:05:17,020 --> 00:05:18,020 Drinking. 91 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:25,220 And wrestling gators on Bourbon Street. Down in the bayou. 92 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:28,880 Where were you guys all night? 93 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,560 It's a little fuzzy. Okay. 94 00:05:32,910 --> 00:05:38,930 But I know we were definitely not here. 95 00:05:40,970 --> 00:05:42,290 We were in a cab. 96 00:05:42,630 --> 00:05:44,970 I know that. I have the receipt. 97 00:05:46,150 --> 00:05:47,790 What other receipts do you have? 98 00:05:48,010 --> 00:05:49,010 Let's see. 99 00:05:49,510 --> 00:05:51,550 Oh, we were at Antler's. Uh -uh. 100 00:05:51,790 --> 00:05:54,370 Ooh, I managed to get a number. 101 00:05:54,750 --> 00:05:55,750 Ooh! 102 00:05:56,770 --> 00:05:58,670 Any chance Gus is a girl? 103 00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:08,680 watching a Karate Kid marathon. 104 00:06:09,460 --> 00:06:11,580 Said you were out getting blasto? 105 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:13,160 Excuse me, Sherry. 106 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:16,960 It's blotto. 107 00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:22,080 And we were in total control. 108 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,300 You call that in control? 109 00:06:33,820 --> 00:06:36,160 Hey, at least we didn't fall off the bar. 110 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:45,780 Let me tell you, a lot of people had fun. 111 00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:54,740 You should have seen how much Dana made. 112 00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:19,580 She was having a bachelorette party. 113 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,400 I gave her a bachelorette party. 114 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:25,040 You gave her a tea party. 115 00:07:26,420 --> 00:07:32,100 We actually gave her a party where there was fun. You mean Cajun -style fun. 116 00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:34,320 Down in the bayou. 117 00:07:35,180 --> 00:07:40,100 My party was fun. We made s'mores. 118 00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,960 Sherry, you're going to wake up Cheryl. 119 00:07:49,230 --> 00:07:50,430 make sure she made it home okay. 120 00:07:51,210 --> 00:07:53,330 You did take her home, right? You got her home? 121 00:07:56,950 --> 00:08:03,870 I don't 122 00:08:03,870 --> 00:08:05,410 think I have a receipt for that. 123 00:08:07,330 --> 00:08:08,330 Oh, my God! 124 00:08:08,730 --> 00:08:10,470 You lost my sister! 125 00:08:10,930 --> 00:08:11,930 Hey! 126 00:08:12,990 --> 00:08:14,570 She's my sister, too. 127 00:08:25,550 --> 00:08:27,730 she is. Don't you dare say it. 128 00:08:28,070 --> 00:08:30,090 Got to. She down on the body. 129 00:08:32,409 --> 00:08:32,929 Don't 130 00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:39,669 worry, 131 00:08:39,990 --> 00:08:40,990 Carol. 132 00:08:42,450 --> 00:08:43,590 We'll find Dana. 133 00:08:45,730 --> 00:08:48,110 Absolutely. We got a paper trail right there. 134 00:08:49,990 --> 00:08:53,530 Yep. We just go through these retrace and we'll reseat our steps. 135 00:09:52,330 --> 00:09:53,330 at the zoo. 136 00:09:53,850 --> 00:09:55,690 She's in a cave with a chimp? 137 00:09:56,270 --> 00:10:00,030 No. She must have just dropped her cell phone there. That's it. 138 00:10:00,930 --> 00:10:02,310 What were you doing at the zoo? 139 00:10:02,990 --> 00:10:05,550 I think I had a hankering for some peanuts. 140 00:10:07,470 --> 00:10:08,590 What about Dina? 141 00:10:08,870 --> 00:10:12,950 Oh, she was laughing. She had a ball sliding on a penguin slide. 142 00:10:14,070 --> 00:10:16,350 No. Where is she? 143 00:10:16,890 --> 00:10:19,830 Okay. Well, according to this time, 144 00:10:21,670 --> 00:10:23,110 was before the male strip club. 145 00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:25,730 And Dana was definitely with us there. 146 00:10:25,950 --> 00:10:26,950 Oh, yeah. 147 00:10:27,130 --> 00:10:29,890 That's where I made my classic toast. 148 00:10:39,490 --> 00:10:40,610 Oh, crap. 149 00:10:41,150 --> 00:10:43,270 That guy's junk can't be real. 150 00:10:46,410 --> 00:10:47,750 I gotta make a toast. 151 00:10:48,090 --> 00:10:50,210 I'm not gay, but I'll drink to that. 152 00:10:51,340 --> 00:10:52,340 For Dana. 153 00:11:36,620 --> 00:11:37,620 is like a prison. 154 00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:45,540 You got to check in with the warden, you're on permanent laundry duty, and 155 00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:49,140 can only have sex with one person for the rest of your life. 156 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,980 Actually, Jim, I'm not sure that's technically true of prison. 157 00:11:53,320 --> 00:12:00,040 You will now be one of the many mothers in Carpool sitting home quietly 158 00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:03,220 and drinking and wondering, where did it all go wrong? 159 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:10,060 So say goodbye to briefcases and Armani, and say hello to apron strings and 160 00:12:10,060 --> 00:12:11,060 babies. 161 00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:14,280 Hey, I like kids. 162 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:17,420 Well, you better, because I'll put your body through hell. 163 00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:25,060 So here's to Dana, who once was alive and free, and now who's trapped and 164 00:12:25,060 --> 00:12:26,060 practically dead. 165 00:12:46,380 --> 00:12:47,380 Must be hell on you. 166 00:12:47,580 --> 00:12:48,580 Yeah. 167 00:12:49,220 --> 00:12:51,060 It's just drunk talk, Cheryl. 168 00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:54,260 That's what guys do at bachelor parties. 169 00:12:54,620 --> 00:12:56,280 Guys, not girls. 170 00:12:56,520 --> 00:13:00,820 We talk about shoes and dresses and seating arrangements, not silly things 171 00:13:00,820 --> 00:13:02,420 what the rest of our lives are going to be like. 172 00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:05,260 No, we focus on the big day. 173 00:13:06,020 --> 00:13:08,160 Well, you should focus on the day after. 174 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,020 That's what guys do. Yeah, because it's a test. 175 00:13:12,380 --> 00:13:14,680 If they can take it, then they're ready to get married. 176 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:15,920 If not... 177 00:13:25,770 --> 00:13:26,549 break time. 178 00:13:26,550 --> 00:13:29,910 Yeah, I think. Was there any point at which she wasn't laughing and having a 179 00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:30,910 great time? 180 00:13:33,630 --> 00:13:39,650 She got a little quiet at that bar with all the trains. 181 00:13:41,130 --> 00:13:42,530 That was a train station. 182 00:13:45,350 --> 00:13:48,670 Dana's on the 5 a .m. to Milwa Uki. 183 00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,029 That's right. 184 00:13:57,030 --> 00:14:02,170 She said she was so moved by my speech, she wanted to go up and see Ryan so she 185 00:14:02,170 --> 00:14:04,230 could fall off the bedding with him. 186 00:14:05,030 --> 00:14:06,030 What? 187 00:14:06,630 --> 00:14:11,910 No, Jim. Fall off the bedding. You know that. Crawl off to Redding. 188 00:14:36,970 --> 00:14:37,970 That makes sense. 189 00:14:39,290 --> 00:14:42,450 Jim, Jim, I think we got ourselves a runner. 190 00:14:45,970 --> 00:14:47,070 Okay, relax. 191 00:14:47,650 --> 00:14:51,270 It's 5 .35. If we hurry, we can stop her from making the stupidest mistake of 192 00:14:51,270 --> 00:14:51,829 her life. 193 00:14:51,830 --> 00:14:55,750 Wait, second stupidest. The stupidest was letting you two jackasses throw a 194 00:14:55,750 --> 00:14:56,750 bachelorette party. 195 00:14:58,070 --> 00:14:59,070 Shut up! 196 00:14:59,350 --> 00:15:00,350 Hold it! 197 00:15:02,170 --> 00:15:03,170 Where's the parmesan? 198 00:15:19,370 --> 00:15:23,850 And while the risk of ectopic pregnancy is rare, our double -blind study 199 00:15:23,850 --> 00:15:26,130 indicates that there is a correlation... All right, listen up! 200 00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:13,300 There's a lot. 201 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:46,500 Gibson. He left early. He said he missed his fiancée. 202 00:16:49,220 --> 00:16:50,220 Oh. 203 00:16:53,960 --> 00:17:00,700 While I have your attention, those instruments 204 00:17:00,700 --> 00:17:02,460 are cold. 205 00:17:23,630 --> 00:17:25,150 I did find a room full of gynecologists. 206 00:17:26,609 --> 00:17:27,609 Tough crowd. 207 00:17:27,930 --> 00:17:29,850 Maybe I should have had my legs up in the air. 208 00:17:33,050 --> 00:17:35,350 Bobo, I am roaming. Stop calling. 209 00:17:39,430 --> 00:17:40,430 Where's Ryan? 210 00:17:40,690 --> 00:17:42,410 He left the conference early. 211 00:17:43,110 --> 00:17:48,490 Apparently, he met his fiancée. Oh, I'm such an idiot. 212 00:17:49,050 --> 00:17:51,770 Oh, Dana, you are an idiot. Yeah. 213 00:17:53,550 --> 00:17:56,270 for misunderstanding what I was trying to say last night. 214 00:17:56,550 --> 00:17:58,870 All right, look, you're right. 215 00:17:59,130 --> 00:18:02,170 I might have skewed it a tad on the dark side. 216 00:18:02,750 --> 00:18:05,510 You mean when you compared marriage to prison and hell? 217 00:18:07,490 --> 00:18:08,490 Yeah, that's it. 218 00:18:09,670 --> 00:18:12,390 But the fact is, Ryan is a great guy. 219 00:18:13,030 --> 00:18:16,730 And I was just trying to make sure that you were ready to take this big step. 220 00:18:17,390 --> 00:18:20,270 And look, I would do it for any guy I cared for. 221 00:18:21,090 --> 00:18:23,050 And I did it for you because I... 222 00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:30,980 care for you too a lot i appreciate that i'm just so 223 00:18:30,980 --> 00:18:36,900 mixed up sure sure you're having a lot of feelings right now yeah you're having 224 00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:42,440 a lot of emotions cheryl tag me out yeah 225 00:18:53,290 --> 00:18:54,770 It's stupid to let Jim get to me. 226 00:18:55,010 --> 00:18:57,850 He said things were going to change, and I actually believed him. 227 00:18:58,810 --> 00:19:01,350 Yeah, about that changing thing. 228 00:19:02,210 --> 00:19:03,210 It's kind of true. 229 00:19:04,190 --> 00:19:05,350 They are going to change? 230 00:19:05,570 --> 00:19:07,590 Yeah. Marriage is like prison? 231 00:19:07,950 --> 00:19:10,050 No, marriage is not like prison. 232 00:19:14,350 --> 00:19:17,430 No, you know, actually, in a lot of ways, it's worse. 233 00:19:24,810 --> 00:19:26,810 because I didn't before, and maybe I should have. 234 00:19:27,430 --> 00:19:31,010 We're spending all this time talking about the wedding, but we didn't talk 235 00:19:31,010 --> 00:19:33,810 what happens when you go from being a single girl to a married woman. 236 00:19:34,710 --> 00:19:39,230 It's a big change, and sometimes it really is hard as hell. 237 00:19:41,670 --> 00:19:42,670 So Jim's right. 238 00:19:43,470 --> 00:19:45,230 Oh, no, he's out of his mind. 239 00:19:46,790 --> 00:19:49,870 What guys do that's good is they give each other an out. 240 00:19:51,230 --> 00:19:54,350 I've been working so hard on your wedding because I really want it to be a 241 00:19:54,350 --> 00:20:00,090 day for you. But if for any reason you need an out, I am behind you all the 242 00:20:00,110 --> 00:20:03,290 I am. I know. No, I don't need an out. 243 00:20:03,630 --> 00:20:04,630 What? 244 00:20:07,030 --> 00:20:08,250 I'm finally Dana. 245 00:20:09,510 --> 00:20:12,110 You know, and it took me a long time to get here. 246 00:20:12,770 --> 00:20:17,990 And I don't want to just turn into somebody's wife or somebody's mother. 247 00:20:20,679 --> 00:20:25,680 Me. Well, honey, I mean, just because you're married, you don't lose the me. 248 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,780 It's just that the me becomes a part of us. 249 00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:35,780 And sometimes us 250 00:20:35,780 --> 00:20:37,580 is really going to get on your nerves. 251 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:42,760 So why does anybody do this? 252 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:48,640 Oh, because, honey, if you find the right guy and have a good, loving 253 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:49,860 relationship, then... 254 00:20:50,949 --> 00:20:54,950 You get a chance to be more you than you ever dreamed possible. 255 00:20:57,010 --> 00:20:58,010 Wow. 256 00:20:58,690 --> 00:21:00,730 That's good. I'm going to use that in my vows. 257 00:21:02,090 --> 00:21:03,990 Wait. Got to come up with another toast. 258 00:21:06,430 --> 00:21:09,370 Come on, let's get out of here. Yeah, I better go wait, Jim. 259 00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:14,710 Did you still have that train ticket? 260 00:21:14,990 --> 00:21:15,990 Yeah. 261 00:21:17,090 --> 00:21:18,550 Let Amtrak deal with him. 19428

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