Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:02,180
Good night, you guys. See you at work.
2
00:00:02,860 --> 00:00:04,420
Gwen, thanks so much for coming.
3
00:00:04,660 --> 00:00:06,000
Don't forget your goodie bag.
4
00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:09,800
Bet you never got a goodie bag at a
bachelorette party, huh?
5
00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:13,000
Not with homemade salad dressing.
6
00:00:13,280 --> 00:00:16,620
You know, if you want the recipe. Yeah.
Good night.
7
00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:18,920
Good night.
8
00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:25,680
That was some party, huh? Great. Yeah.
Thank you for throwing it for me. Oh,
9
00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:27,400
honey. Hey, what was your favorite part?
10
00:00:30,510 --> 00:00:32,189
We needed tea cozies. Yeah.
11
00:00:33,310 --> 00:00:34,830
We painted pottery.
12
00:00:35,110 --> 00:00:37,690
Right. We sat on balloons and made them
pop.
13
00:00:40,110 --> 00:00:41,110
Don't make me choose.
14
00:00:43,290 --> 00:00:45,610
Oh, I am beat.
15
00:00:45,870 --> 00:00:49,570
Oh, I know. It's been a long night. God,
it's already 9 .15?
16
00:00:51,410 --> 00:00:52,970
Oh, 9 .15?
17
00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:54,940
Man, I better clean up in the morning.
18
00:00:56,300 --> 00:00:59,700
We're meeting with the caterer tomorrow,
and we have the final fitting for your
19
00:00:59,700 --> 00:01:03,260
dress. Oh, you're going to be such a
beautiful bride.
20
00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:05,420
Oh, good night.
21
00:01:05,620 --> 00:01:07,420
Good night. I hope I can sleep.
22
00:01:07,620 --> 00:01:09,820
God, I'm so wired from the party.
23
00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:13,860
It's hard to come down off that knitting
high, huh?
24
00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:15,140
Yeah. I know.
25
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:17,160
Love you. Love you.
26
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:19,400
Hate this.
27
00:01:34,860 --> 00:01:37,980
No, no, no. Wait, wait, wait. No naked
pillow fights? No, no jello wrestling?
28
00:01:38,220 --> 00:01:40,060
No let's kiss just to see if we like it?
29
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,000
Damn!
30
00:01:44,820 --> 00:01:47,720
You mean I taped over Gracie's dance
recital for nothing?
31
00:01:49,240 --> 00:01:50,600
Wow. Lame party.
32
00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:54,440
Yeah, well, when you start with a lesson
from the origami lady, you burn out
33
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:55,440
quick.
34
00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:59,380
You know, unless you're six or sixty,
Cheryl's parties suck.
35
00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:03,380
Even in fast forward, this party is
slow.
36
00:02:06,410 --> 00:02:09,530
I have this little paper bird to remind
me of this night.
37
00:02:10,229 --> 00:02:11,970
It doesn't even fly. What the hell?
38
00:02:15,070 --> 00:02:17,110
Dina, Dina, wait a second. Wait a
second.
39
00:02:17,690 --> 00:02:19,970
Hey, you looking for a little fun?
40
00:02:20,910 --> 00:02:25,590
Because I happen to know a gentleman who
has a master's degree in funology.
41
00:02:27,090 --> 00:02:31,850
He studied at the Royal Academy of Fun,
did he not? Yeah, she was in charge of
42
00:02:31,850 --> 00:02:32,850
fundraising.
43
00:02:34,730 --> 00:02:35,730
Yes, yes, yes.
44
00:02:36,030 --> 00:02:39,530
And there's a jolly old sidekick who
goes by the name of Fundy. Yeah.
45
00:02:39,970 --> 00:02:44,610
Hey, I get it. It's you two and you're
both fun. Exactly. And Mr.
46
00:02:44,930 --> 00:02:49,350
Fundy and myself would like to take you
out and give you a proper send -off.
47
00:02:50,530 --> 00:02:53,190
I'm going to go out for my bachelorette
party with you two?
48
00:02:53,410 --> 00:02:54,209
No, thanks.
49
00:02:54,210 --> 00:02:56,110
Fine. Fine. Go home and pout.
50
00:02:56,530 --> 00:03:01,110
Or you can come out with us and have a
night you won't remember the rest of
51
00:03:01,110 --> 00:03:02,110
life.
52
00:03:04,810 --> 00:03:06,070
Booze? Lots.
53
00:03:06,370 --> 00:03:07,430
Music? Loud.
54
00:03:08,010 --> 00:03:09,090
Strippers? Oh, yeah.
55
00:03:10,810 --> 00:03:12,210
She means male strippers.
56
00:03:12,450 --> 00:03:13,450
How?
57
00:03:14,590 --> 00:03:15,790
What the heck? All right!
58
00:03:16,070 --> 00:03:19,330
Come on, Rudy! We're going to need a
chauffeur for the evening. Andy, call us
59
00:03:19,330 --> 00:03:20,450
cab. You're a cab.
60
00:03:24,810 --> 00:03:27,330
Trust me, in three hours, that's going
to sound real funny.
61
00:03:28,030 --> 00:03:29,030
Come on, let's go!
62
00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:30,510
Get the cab.
63
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:37,550
Oh.
64
00:03:48,090 --> 00:03:49,090
Quiet.
65
00:03:50,650 --> 00:03:53,370
I can't believe you did that. I know.
66
00:03:54,990 --> 00:03:57,390
I know. I can't believe it myself.
67
00:03:59,830 --> 00:04:01,390
What exactly did I do?
68
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:03,610
No idea.
69
00:04:05,290 --> 00:04:06,550
But it sure was funny.
70
00:04:07,250 --> 00:04:08,250
It was.
71
00:04:08,490 --> 00:04:09,930
It really was.
72
00:04:11,530 --> 00:04:13,970
I'm hungry. I want eggs. Yes.
73
00:04:14,190 --> 00:04:15,390
Eggs and breakfast.
74
00:04:19,750 --> 00:04:21,810
You're going to wake up breakfast.
75
00:04:24,290 --> 00:04:26,190
He said wake up breakfast.
76
00:04:27,590 --> 00:04:28,590
I see.
77
00:04:31,010 --> 00:04:32,010
All right.
78
00:04:32,490 --> 00:04:33,570
Eggs it is.
79
00:04:33,950 --> 00:04:34,950
And pancakes.
80
00:04:35,050 --> 00:04:38,030
Yes. Hey, let's have a buck and a hash
brown.
81
00:04:38,270 --> 00:04:40,570
And we'll smother it with spaghetti.
82
00:04:40,930 --> 00:04:43,010
Hot spaghetti.
83
00:04:47,910 --> 00:04:50,450
What is going on down here?
84
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:52,750
Honey,
85
00:04:53,630 --> 00:05:00,310
Dandy and I, we woke up early, and we're
going to make some breakfast.
86
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:03,860
Agent style.
87
00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,820
Down in the bayou.
88
00:05:07,540 --> 00:05:12,200
Shut up. You are so drunk.
89
00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:15,320
It's five in the morning. What were you
doing?
90
00:05:17,020 --> 00:05:18,020
Drinking.
91
00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:25,220
And wrestling gators on Bourbon Street.
Down in the bayou.
92
00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:28,880
Where were you guys all night?
93
00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:31,560
It's a little fuzzy. Okay.
94
00:05:32,910 --> 00:05:38,930
But I know we were definitely not here.
95
00:05:40,970 --> 00:05:42,290
We were in a cab.
96
00:05:42,630 --> 00:05:44,970
I know that. I have the receipt.
97
00:05:46,150 --> 00:05:47,790
What other receipts do you have?
98
00:05:48,010 --> 00:05:49,010
Let's see.
99
00:05:49,510 --> 00:05:51,550
Oh, we were at Antler's. Uh -uh.
100
00:05:51,790 --> 00:05:54,370
Ooh, I managed to get a number.
101
00:05:54,750 --> 00:05:55,750
Ooh!
102
00:05:56,770 --> 00:05:58,670
Any chance Gus is a girl?
103
00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:08,680
watching a Karate Kid marathon.
104
00:06:09,460 --> 00:06:11,580
Said you were out getting blasto?
105
00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:13,160
Excuse me, Sherry.
106
00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:16,960
It's blotto.
107
00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:22,080
And we were in total control.
108
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,300
You call that in control?
109
00:06:33,820 --> 00:06:36,160
Hey, at least we didn't fall off the
bar.
110
00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:45,780
Let me tell you, a lot of people had
fun.
111
00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:54,740
You should have seen how much Dana made.
112
00:07:17,420 --> 00:07:19,580
She was having a bachelorette party.
113
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,400
I gave her a bachelorette party.
114
00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:25,040
You gave her a tea party.
115
00:07:26,420 --> 00:07:32,100
We actually gave her a party where there
was fun. You mean Cajun -style fun.
116
00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:34,320
Down in the bayou.
117
00:07:35,180 --> 00:07:40,100
My party was fun. We made s'mores.
118
00:07:42,880 --> 00:07:44,960
Sherry, you're going to wake up Cheryl.
119
00:07:49,230 --> 00:07:50,430
make sure she made it home okay.
120
00:07:51,210 --> 00:07:53,330
You did take her home, right? You got
her home?
121
00:07:56,950 --> 00:08:03,870
I don't
122
00:08:03,870 --> 00:08:05,410
think I have a receipt for that.
123
00:08:07,330 --> 00:08:08,330
Oh, my God!
124
00:08:08,730 --> 00:08:10,470
You lost my sister!
125
00:08:10,930 --> 00:08:11,930
Hey!
126
00:08:12,990 --> 00:08:14,570
She's my sister, too.
127
00:08:25,550 --> 00:08:27,730
she is. Don't you dare say it.
128
00:08:28,070 --> 00:08:30,090
Got to. She down on the body.
129
00:08:32,409 --> 00:08:32,929
Don't
130
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:39,669
worry,
131
00:08:39,990 --> 00:08:40,990
Carol.
132
00:08:42,450 --> 00:08:43,590
We'll find Dana.
133
00:08:45,730 --> 00:08:48,110
Absolutely. We got a paper trail right
there.
134
00:08:49,990 --> 00:08:53,530
Yep. We just go through these retrace
and we'll reseat our steps.
135
00:09:52,330 --> 00:09:53,330
at the zoo.
136
00:09:53,850 --> 00:09:55,690
She's in a cave with a chimp?
137
00:09:56,270 --> 00:10:00,030
No. She must have just dropped her cell
phone there. That's it.
138
00:10:00,930 --> 00:10:02,310
What were you doing at the zoo?
139
00:10:02,990 --> 00:10:05,550
I think I had a hankering for some
peanuts.
140
00:10:07,470 --> 00:10:08,590
What about Dina?
141
00:10:08,870 --> 00:10:12,950
Oh, she was laughing. She had a ball
sliding on a penguin slide.
142
00:10:14,070 --> 00:10:16,350
No. Where is she?
143
00:10:16,890 --> 00:10:19,830
Okay. Well, according to this time,
144
00:10:21,670 --> 00:10:23,110
was before the male strip club.
145
00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:25,730
And Dana was definitely with us there.
146
00:10:25,950 --> 00:10:26,950
Oh, yeah.
147
00:10:27,130 --> 00:10:29,890
That's where I made my classic toast.
148
00:10:39,490 --> 00:10:40,610
Oh, crap.
149
00:10:41,150 --> 00:10:43,270
That guy's junk can't be real.
150
00:10:46,410 --> 00:10:47,750
I gotta make a toast.
151
00:10:48,090 --> 00:10:50,210
I'm not gay, but I'll drink to that.
152
00:10:51,340 --> 00:10:52,340
For Dana.
153
00:11:36,620 --> 00:11:37,620
is like a prison.
154
00:11:39,240 --> 00:11:45,540
You got to check in with the warden,
you're on permanent laundry duty, and
155
00:11:45,540 --> 00:11:49,140
can only have sex with one person for
the rest of your life.
156
00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,980
Actually, Jim, I'm not sure that's
technically true of prison.
157
00:11:53,320 --> 00:12:00,040
You will now be one of the many mothers
in Carpool sitting home quietly
158
00:12:00,040 --> 00:12:03,220
and drinking and wondering, where did it
all go wrong?
159
00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:10,060
So say goodbye to briefcases and Armani,
and say hello to apron strings and
160
00:12:10,060 --> 00:12:11,060
babies.
161
00:12:11,840 --> 00:12:14,280
Hey, I like kids.
162
00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:17,420
Well, you better, because I'll put your
body through hell.
163
00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:25,060
So here's to Dana, who once was alive
and free, and now who's trapped and
164
00:12:25,060 --> 00:12:26,060
practically dead.
165
00:12:46,380 --> 00:12:47,380
Must be hell on you.
166
00:12:47,580 --> 00:12:48,580
Yeah.
167
00:12:49,220 --> 00:12:51,060
It's just drunk talk, Cheryl.
168
00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:54,260
That's what guys do at bachelor parties.
169
00:12:54,620 --> 00:12:56,280
Guys, not girls.
170
00:12:56,520 --> 00:13:00,820
We talk about shoes and dresses and
seating arrangements, not silly things
171
00:13:00,820 --> 00:13:02,420
what the rest of our lives are going to
be like.
172
00:13:03,260 --> 00:13:05,260
No, we focus on the big day.
173
00:13:06,020 --> 00:13:08,160
Well, you should focus on the day after.
174
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,020
That's what guys do. Yeah, because it's
a test.
175
00:13:12,380 --> 00:13:14,680
If they can take it, then they're ready
to get married.
176
00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:15,920
If not...
177
00:13:25,770 --> 00:13:26,549
break time.
178
00:13:26,550 --> 00:13:29,910
Yeah, I think. Was there any point at
which she wasn't laughing and having a
179
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:30,910
great time?
180
00:13:33,630 --> 00:13:39,650
She got a little quiet at that bar with
all the trains.
181
00:13:41,130 --> 00:13:42,530
That was a train station.
182
00:13:45,350 --> 00:13:48,670
Dana's on the 5 a .m. to Milwa Uki.
183
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,029
That's right.
184
00:13:57,030 --> 00:14:02,170
She said she was so moved by my speech,
she wanted to go up and see Ryan so she
185
00:14:02,170 --> 00:14:04,230
could fall off the bedding with him.
186
00:14:05,030 --> 00:14:06,030
What?
187
00:14:06,630 --> 00:14:11,910
No, Jim. Fall off the bedding. You know
that. Crawl off to Redding.
188
00:14:36,970 --> 00:14:37,970
That makes sense.
189
00:14:39,290 --> 00:14:42,450
Jim, Jim, I think we got ourselves a
runner.
190
00:14:45,970 --> 00:14:47,070
Okay, relax.
191
00:14:47,650 --> 00:14:51,270
It's 5 .35. If we hurry, we can stop her
from making the stupidest mistake of
192
00:14:51,270 --> 00:14:51,829
her life.
193
00:14:51,830 --> 00:14:55,750
Wait, second stupidest. The stupidest
was letting you two jackasses throw a
194
00:14:55,750 --> 00:14:56,750
bachelorette party.
195
00:14:58,070 --> 00:14:59,070
Shut up!
196
00:14:59,350 --> 00:15:00,350
Hold it!
197
00:15:02,170 --> 00:15:03,170
Where's the parmesan?
198
00:15:19,370 --> 00:15:23,850
And while the risk of ectopic pregnancy
is rare, our double -blind study
199
00:15:23,850 --> 00:15:26,130
indicates that there is a correlation...
All right, listen up!
200
00:16:12,300 --> 00:16:13,300
There's a lot.
201
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:46,500
Gibson. He left early. He said he missed
his fiancée.
202
00:16:49,220 --> 00:16:50,220
Oh.
203
00:16:53,960 --> 00:17:00,700
While I have your attention, those
instruments
204
00:17:00,700 --> 00:17:02,460
are cold.
205
00:17:23,630 --> 00:17:25,150
I did find a room full of gynecologists.
206
00:17:26,609 --> 00:17:27,609
Tough crowd.
207
00:17:27,930 --> 00:17:29,850
Maybe I should have had my legs up in
the air.
208
00:17:33,050 --> 00:17:35,350
Bobo, I am roaming. Stop calling.
209
00:17:39,430 --> 00:17:40,430
Where's Ryan?
210
00:17:40,690 --> 00:17:42,410
He left the conference early.
211
00:17:43,110 --> 00:17:48,490
Apparently, he met his fiancée. Oh, I'm
such an idiot.
212
00:17:49,050 --> 00:17:51,770
Oh, Dana, you are an idiot. Yeah.
213
00:17:53,550 --> 00:17:56,270
for misunderstanding what I was trying
to say last night.
214
00:17:56,550 --> 00:17:58,870
All right, look, you're right.
215
00:17:59,130 --> 00:18:02,170
I might have skewed it a tad on the dark
side.
216
00:18:02,750 --> 00:18:05,510
You mean when you compared marriage to
prison and hell?
217
00:18:07,490 --> 00:18:08,490
Yeah, that's it.
218
00:18:09,670 --> 00:18:12,390
But the fact is, Ryan is a great guy.
219
00:18:13,030 --> 00:18:16,730
And I was just trying to make sure that
you were ready to take this big step.
220
00:18:17,390 --> 00:18:20,270
And look, I would do it for any guy I
cared for.
221
00:18:21,090 --> 00:18:23,050
And I did it for you because I...
222
00:18:24,080 --> 00:18:30,980
care for you too a lot i appreciate that
i'm just so
223
00:18:30,980 --> 00:18:36,900
mixed up sure sure you're having a lot
of feelings right now yeah you're having
224
00:18:36,900 --> 00:18:42,440
a lot of emotions cheryl tag me out yeah
225
00:18:53,290 --> 00:18:54,770
It's stupid to let Jim get to me.
226
00:18:55,010 --> 00:18:57,850
He said things were going to change, and
I actually believed him.
227
00:18:58,810 --> 00:19:01,350
Yeah, about that changing thing.
228
00:19:02,210 --> 00:19:03,210
It's kind of true.
229
00:19:04,190 --> 00:19:05,350
They are going to change?
230
00:19:05,570 --> 00:19:07,590
Yeah. Marriage is like prison?
231
00:19:07,950 --> 00:19:10,050
No, marriage is not like prison.
232
00:19:14,350 --> 00:19:17,430
No, you know, actually, in a lot of
ways, it's worse.
233
00:19:24,810 --> 00:19:26,810
because I didn't before, and maybe I
should have.
234
00:19:27,430 --> 00:19:31,010
We're spending all this time talking
about the wedding, but we didn't talk
235
00:19:31,010 --> 00:19:33,810
what happens when you go from being a
single girl to a married woman.
236
00:19:34,710 --> 00:19:39,230
It's a big change, and sometimes it
really is hard as hell.
237
00:19:41,670 --> 00:19:42,670
So Jim's right.
238
00:19:43,470 --> 00:19:45,230
Oh, no, he's out of his mind.
239
00:19:46,790 --> 00:19:49,870
What guys do that's good is they give
each other an out.
240
00:19:51,230 --> 00:19:54,350
I've been working so hard on your
wedding because I really want it to be a
241
00:19:54,350 --> 00:20:00,090
day for you. But if for any reason you
need an out, I am behind you all the
242
00:20:00,110 --> 00:20:03,290
I am. I know. No, I don't need an out.
243
00:20:03,630 --> 00:20:04,630
What?
244
00:20:07,030 --> 00:20:08,250
I'm finally Dana.
245
00:20:09,510 --> 00:20:12,110
You know, and it took me a long time to
get here.
246
00:20:12,770 --> 00:20:17,990
And I don't want to just turn into
somebody's wife or somebody's mother.
247
00:20:20,679 --> 00:20:25,680
Me. Well, honey, I mean, just because
you're married, you don't lose the me.
248
00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,780
It's just that the me becomes a part of
us.
249
00:20:29,160 --> 00:20:35,780
And sometimes us
250
00:20:35,780 --> 00:20:37,580
is really going to get on your nerves.
251
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:42,760
So why does anybody do this?
252
00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:48,640
Oh, because, honey, if you find the
right guy and have a good, loving
253
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:49,860
relationship, then...
254
00:20:50,949 --> 00:20:54,950
You get a chance to be more you than you
ever dreamed possible.
255
00:20:57,010 --> 00:20:58,010
Wow.
256
00:20:58,690 --> 00:21:00,730
That's good. I'm going to use that in my
vows.
257
00:21:02,090 --> 00:21:03,990
Wait. Got to come up with another toast.
258
00:21:06,430 --> 00:21:09,370
Come on, let's get out of here. Yeah, I
better go wait, Jim.
259
00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:14,710
Did you still have that train ticket?
260
00:21:14,990 --> 00:21:15,990
Yeah.
261
00:21:17,090 --> 00:21:18,550
Let Amtrak deal with him.
19428
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.