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1
00:00:05,270 --> 00:00:07,230
You know what? I am the luckiest man in
the world.
2
00:00:07,710 --> 00:00:09,970
You are a beautiful, beautiful woman.
3
00:00:10,790 --> 00:00:11,790
You know what I was thinking?
4
00:00:11,930 --> 00:00:13,470
I am not sleeping in the nude.
5
00:00:14,750 --> 00:00:15,750
Why not?
6
00:00:15,930 --> 00:00:17,730
Come on, that's the way God created us.
7
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I'm just doing his will.
8
00:00:21,330 --> 00:00:23,310
You know what, baby? I want to go to
heaven.
9
00:00:25,530 --> 00:00:28,570
You know, maybe I'd consider it if we
didn't have these ratty old sheets.
10
00:00:29,050 --> 00:00:30,730
New sheets? Done. Okay.
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On to the BJs.
12
00:00:33,490 --> 00:00:34,490
You know,
13
00:00:35,370 --> 00:00:36,950
Now you got me thinking. Oh, no, no, no.
14
00:00:37,270 --> 00:00:38,330
No thinking. Stripping.
15
00:00:39,910 --> 00:00:42,750
Yeah, yeah. If we're going to get new
sheets, we're going to need a new duvet.
16
00:00:43,030 --> 00:00:45,090
No, no, no. Don't start with that,
honey. And a rug.
17
00:00:45,410 --> 00:00:47,050
No. Yeah, yeah.
18
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If we get a new rug, then we're going to
have to get a new chair because it
19
00:00:49,970 --> 00:00:52,730
doesn't match the rug, and then we're
going to have to paint the walls, and
20
00:00:52,730 --> 00:00:54,210
our kids are going to hate us.
21
00:00:55,270 --> 00:00:57,070
Why? Because we're going to get
divorced, honey.
22
00:00:58,710 --> 00:00:59,710
Come on.
23
00:00:59,930 --> 00:01:01,710
Let's redecorate. We can do it together.
24
00:01:02,570 --> 00:01:03,830
No, no, no. Yeah, yeah.
25
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,020
No, no, no, no, no, because you ask for
my opinion, I give you my opinion, and
26
00:01:08,020 --> 00:01:08,999
then you ignore it.
27
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:12,620
Oh, come on. Honey, I know you don't
believe this, but I really do want your
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input. This is our house. No, no, no,
it's not our house. It's my house, it's
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your home, and I'm a guest here.
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Oh, it is. It's like a three -star hotel
with so -so room service.
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Oh, come on. That'll be fun.
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Oh, I'll tell you what will be fun. Oh,
I am not sleeping in the nude.
33
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Interesting.
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I was going to say cuddle.
35
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But you cheapened it.
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Good night.
37
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Good night.
38
00:01:50,220 --> 00:01:51,820
Of course, I like it cheapened.
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color combo for the bathroom.
40
00:02:16,780 --> 00:02:18,600
You got your tile, paint, and curtains.
41
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:21,420
Ruth, hold the tile up for paint.
42
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I'm liking it. I'm not loving it.
43
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Yeah.
44
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Next!
45
00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:33,020
Mommy, I got math homework.
46
00:02:33,380 --> 00:02:35,620
Yeah, but honey, this is something you
can actually use in life.
47
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Oh, oh, oh!
48
00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:39,440
Rainstorm! Ow!
49
00:02:41,180 --> 00:02:44,460
Quit your squawking. Mom used to paint
right on our foreheads.
50
00:02:45,820 --> 00:02:47,340
Yeah, yeah, I still don't know.
51
00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:49,260
You know, the light's better in the
bathroom.
52
00:02:49,660 --> 00:02:52,100
Yeah, girls, go stand in the tub. We'll
be right up.
53
00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:55,960
I know, I know, I know. Hey!
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00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:59,060
I'm so glad you're home. I wanted to
show you this stuff.
55
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:01,220
This is a shower curtain.
56
00:03:01,640 --> 00:03:04,180
Yeah. What are you doing with a shower
curtain?
57
00:03:04,580 --> 00:03:05,900
Shower curtains don't go in the bedroom.
58
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:08,300
Oh, someone's been watching Queer Eye.
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00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:14,840
is going to look shabby.
60
00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:18,580
Cheryl, I thought we were doing this
decorating thing together. That's what
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00:03:18,580 --> 00:03:21,780
said. Okay, from now on, I've got to
sign off on everything.
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Even dinner. What are we having for
dinner?
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00:03:25,540 --> 00:03:26,540
Meatloaf.
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00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:27,720
Okay, approved.
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00:03:29,220 --> 00:03:32,460
Look, honey, I know I should have talked
to you about doing the bathroom. I just
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00:03:32,460 --> 00:03:34,980
got so excited. Come here. I want to
show you something.
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00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:36,320
Are you ready?
68
00:03:36,540 --> 00:03:37,540
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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00:03:37,980 --> 00:03:39,160
Which do you like better?
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00:03:39,700 --> 00:03:42,100
The green tile or...
71
00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:44,740
The green tile with the delicate border.
72
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:50,280
Well, I think I like the green one with
the invisible border.
73
00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:54,700
Okay, yeah, yeah, that's nice.
74
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,840
But do you think the border's too
subtle?
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00:04:12,140 --> 00:04:14,180
bathroom, you will know you decorated
it.
76
00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:17,019
Jim, Jim, uh -oh.
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00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:18,940
I'm about to be brilliant.
78
00:04:19,540 --> 00:04:23,580
You know what would be perfect for your
new bathroom? The Royal Flush XP toilet
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00:04:23,580 --> 00:04:24,580
system.
80
00:04:25,380 --> 00:04:28,820
The Royal Flush XP? That's the champagne
of toilets.
81
00:04:29,980 --> 00:04:34,160
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Is that that
hideous toilet that they show in all
82
00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:35,180
commercials? Yes.
83
00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:40,560
Designed for NASA, now a favorite for
sports figures and world leaders. Andy?
84
00:04:41,050 --> 00:04:45,370
Can you please tell them what separates
the Royal Flush XP from other toilets?
85
00:04:45,690 --> 00:04:47,450
The answer is technology.
86
00:04:48,810 --> 00:04:53,290
It has an ergonomic heated seat and an
atomizer with your choice of scents.
87
00:04:54,270 --> 00:04:59,410
You can try and find a better toilet,
but... Nothing beats a Royal Flush.
88
00:05:00,310 --> 00:05:06,430
That was very impressive. Let me ask you
guys something. Who's your congressman?
89
00:05:07,250 --> 00:05:08,250
Me.
90
00:05:08,690 --> 00:05:10,360
Yeah. That's what I thought.
91
00:05:10,780 --> 00:05:14,120
The royal flush. That is a great idea.
92
00:05:14,780 --> 00:05:16,340
Isn't it? What a great idea.
93
00:05:16,580 --> 00:05:18,120
I knew she liked it. Let me just show
you this.
94
00:05:19,340 --> 00:05:22,020
This is classic porcelain.
95
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:27,380
You got your white, or if you really
want to throw caution to the wind, off
96
00:05:27,380 --> 00:05:28,380
whites.
97
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:33,680
Cheryl, you can't do it, can you? What?
You just can't. She can't do it, can
98
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:34,880
she? No, she's incapable.
99
00:05:35,260 --> 00:05:36,400
Yes, incapable.
100
00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:37,760
That's the word.
101
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:42,680
Cheryl, it's obvious that you don't
really want input from me. You just want
102
00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:44,260
to go along with what you want.
103
00:05:44,580 --> 00:05:48,300
And what you really want is you want a
sidekick with a credit card who agrees
104
00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:49,300
with everything you say.
105
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:53,600
Oh, come on. No, Cheryl, I mean, I like
this toilet.
106
00:05:53,900 --> 00:05:56,520
And you don't want it. Do you know what
that makes you? It makes you a
107
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hypocrite.
108
00:05:57,660 --> 00:06:00,740
I am not.
109
00:06:08,650 --> 00:06:12,410
Is she being a hypocrite? Well, she's
either a hypocrite or a hypocrite with a
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00:06:12,410 --> 00:06:13,410
delicate border.
111
00:06:15,530 --> 00:06:17,010
Yeah, Cheryl.
112
00:06:17,390 --> 00:06:20,590
Come on, just admit it. You just want
what you want.
113
00:06:21,210 --> 00:06:22,730
That is not true.
114
00:06:23,190 --> 00:06:28,730
Yes, it is true, honey. It is. You're
being a hypocrite. Well, you're being a
115
00:06:28,730 --> 00:06:29,589
fun kill.
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00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:33,630
Fun kill? Yeah, fun kill. Fun kill?
Because for your information, I
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00:06:37,610 --> 00:06:38,610
You already ordered it?
118
00:06:38,890 --> 00:06:41,050
You ordered that chrome monster?
119
00:06:42,270 --> 00:06:44,490
Do I have to start signing off on things
now, too?
120
00:06:45,690 --> 00:06:49,830
Yes, Dana, I ordered it. And now Jim has
ruined the surprise.
121
00:06:51,190 --> 00:06:53,010
Whoa, I had no idea.
122
00:06:53,450 --> 00:06:56,410
Well? The Royal Flush XP!
123
00:06:57,990 --> 00:07:01,570
Man, if it weren't for your receding
hairline and sleeping with my sister,
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00:07:01,570 --> 00:07:03,090
trade places with you right now.
125
00:07:05,930 --> 00:07:09,050
Oh, Cheryl, I got the most wonderful
wife in the world, and now I got the
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00:07:09,050 --> 00:07:10,330
wonderful toilet in the world.
127
00:07:10,690 --> 00:07:12,130
Your bowl runneth over.
128
00:07:13,750 --> 00:07:18,370
Cheryl, Cheryl, I'm just so surprised
and so happy. You know what I'm going to
129
00:07:18,370 --> 00:07:19,369
do? You know what I'm going to do?
130
00:07:19,370 --> 00:07:23,350
I'm going to whip up something that goes
with that meatloaf, okay? A little side
131
00:07:23,350 --> 00:07:24,510
dish. Oh, I know.
132
00:07:25,390 --> 00:07:28,110
What kind of cereal do you want? No, no,
no, I'm going to surprise you.
133
00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:30,890
I'll cut up some fruit.
134
00:07:31,130 --> 00:07:32,590
Oh, no, you didn't hear that.
135
00:07:38,510 --> 00:07:41,870
You bought that thing. We spent all this
time trying to create a tasteful
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00:07:41,870 --> 00:07:44,330
bathroom. I may as well have just gone
into work today.
137
00:07:44,610 --> 00:07:47,030
Dana. I can't believe you got that for
him.
138
00:07:47,950 --> 00:07:49,030
You lied?
139
00:07:49,310 --> 00:07:50,310
Yeah.
140
00:07:50,410 --> 00:07:53,350
Because he called me a hypocrite and he
was right. And I hate it when he's
141
00:07:53,350 --> 00:07:54,350
right.
142
00:07:55,270 --> 00:07:56,530
So I panicked.
143
00:07:57,290 --> 00:07:59,990
Hey, you want to go with me by a really,
really ugly toilet?
144
00:08:02,210 --> 00:08:04,650
All right. I guess we'll just take off
work again.
145
00:08:05,310 --> 00:08:06,710
I'll tell him Grandma's a fighter.
146
00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:17,980
Oh, my God. There it is.
147
00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:19,520
Look at this.
148
00:08:19,820 --> 00:08:23,360
I can't believe it. I'm going to be a
proud owner of a Royal Flush XP.
149
00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:25,600
Finally, something for your high school
newsletter.
150
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:28,780
Yeah. I can't believe Cheryl actually
bought this for me.
151
00:08:29,420 --> 00:08:34,120
Hey, Jim, I know we haven't discussed
the particulars.
152
00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:37,960
Oh, come on. I assume I'll do it. No,
no, no. Fine.
153
00:08:38,659 --> 00:08:42,559
Yep, that means yes. I know you want me
to use it. You want me to use this
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00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:44,240
thing. Once a week you get it. All
right. Gentlemen.
155
00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:47,020
Welcome to Bathopolis, your bathroom
superstore.
156
00:08:48,140 --> 00:08:52,580
Drooling over the XP, are we? Well, not
for long. He's getting one, and I get to
157
00:08:52,580 --> 00:08:53,580
use it. Really?
158
00:08:53,740 --> 00:08:55,320
How long were you on the waiting list?
159
00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:57,020
What? What waiting list?
160
00:08:57,640 --> 00:09:00,840
My wife told me yesterday that she
called here and ordered one. That's
161
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,340
impossible. We're completely out of
stock.
162
00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:04,140
We stopped taking orders two months ago.
163
00:09:04,540 --> 00:09:08,220
What? Bud, I can't show you a nice
bidet.
164
00:09:08,620 --> 00:09:11,760
We're not here for a... Ooh, I love that
color.
165
00:09:12,350 --> 00:09:16,730
I'll take one. Great. I'll write that
up. Oh, I feel terrible. Such an impulse
166
00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:18,550
buyer. I should... Oh, steam shower.
167
00:09:18,930 --> 00:09:19,930
Andy. Andy.
168
00:09:20,230 --> 00:09:22,550
Andy, something is going on here.
Something's wrong.
169
00:09:22,950 --> 00:09:25,750
She told me she ordered the Royal Flush
from here.
170
00:09:25,950 --> 00:09:28,110
Hey, why don't you ask her? She's right
over there with Dana.
171
00:09:28,530 --> 00:09:29,530
Hi.
172
00:09:29,810 --> 00:09:33,610
I'm looking for the Royal Flush XP...
Oh, you can't get it.
173
00:09:34,010 --> 00:09:36,990
What do you mean you can't get it? I
already lied to my husband and told him
174
00:09:36,990 --> 00:09:38,410
bought it. I'm sorry.
175
00:09:38,630 --> 00:09:39,870
There's nothing I can do.
176
00:09:40,190 --> 00:09:42,800
But... I can't show you a nice bidet.
177
00:09:43,340 --> 00:09:44,340
What? No.
178
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,360
Well, somebody's lying.
179
00:09:47,900 --> 00:09:49,380
And it ain't me this time.
180
00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:50,700
Hey, congratulations.
181
00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:53,860
You finally deserve the moral high
ground instead of just claiming it.
182
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:56,120
Let's bust her. Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
183
00:09:56,860 --> 00:09:57,860
She's still digging.
184
00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:00,020
Let's see how deep the hole goes.
185
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:02,580
There's your XP right there.
186
00:10:02,900 --> 00:10:04,020
Oh, God.
187
00:10:04,540 --> 00:10:06,240
Even more hideous than I thought.
188
00:10:06,460 --> 00:10:07,460
Yeah.
189
00:10:10,190 --> 00:10:13,650
Look, my sister's really in a pickle
here. We need to have that toilet.
190
00:10:13,870 --> 00:10:15,210
Can you give me a second?
191
00:10:15,510 --> 00:10:17,750
Yeah. Thanks so much, sweetie.
192
00:10:18,110 --> 00:10:21,830
Listen, Lenny, my sister is gorgeous.
193
00:10:22,050 --> 00:10:24,050
She drinks and she's on the rebound.
194
00:10:25,270 --> 00:10:27,270
So I go home with the toilet.
195
00:10:27,490 --> 00:10:29,130
You go home with her.
196
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:32,850
Madam, this is Bathopolis, not Gomorrah.
197
00:10:36,830 --> 00:10:37,870
No Kandusky.
198
00:10:38,110 --> 00:10:41,010
Okay, there's none here, but how about
another shot?
199
00:10:46,230 --> 00:10:49,670
Steve. Oh, hey, it's going to get lucky
in here.
200
00:10:50,130 --> 00:10:52,790
I'm wearing my worst in pants. Are you
drinking?
201
00:10:52,990 --> 00:10:53,990
I don't know.
202
00:10:54,170 --> 00:11:00,510
I've already checked the price.
203
00:11:00,670 --> 00:11:01,670
I've already checked the price. I've
already checked the price.
204
00:11:02,110 --> 00:11:06,150
I've already checked the price.
205
00:11:14,830 --> 00:11:15,830
ones in Guam.
206
00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:17,150
Oh, I get it.
207
00:11:17,670 --> 00:11:18,670
You're kidding.
208
00:11:18,770 --> 00:11:19,770
Hey,
209
00:11:25,670 --> 00:11:26,670
how about we call the factory?
210
00:11:26,870 --> 00:11:28,250
No. Do you sell news?
211
00:11:30,910 --> 00:11:31,910
I'm trying to hear.
212
00:11:31,970 --> 00:11:32,970
I'm trying to hear.
213
00:11:33,050 --> 00:11:36,150
Everybody's going to have steamed clams
for lunch. Isn't that ironic?
214
00:11:38,390 --> 00:11:42,710
Hey, I know. I know. How about you just
sort of sneak me the names and numbers
215
00:11:42,710 --> 00:11:43,970
of the people you've sold them to?
216
00:12:06,110 --> 00:12:12,710
I'm not saying I would ever,
217
00:12:12,790 --> 00:12:16,450
ever do this, but just say I had a gun
to your head.
218
00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:24,599
Well, that's it.
219
00:12:24,600 --> 00:12:25,600
I'm screwed.
220
00:12:26,020 --> 00:12:28,260
Well, at least you don't have to live
with this ugly toilet.
221
00:12:28,620 --> 00:12:30,280
Dana, you don't understand.
222
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:34,360
If I don't come home with this toilet,
there'll be no end to Jim's well, well,
223
00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:37,200
wells. You never say that.
224
00:12:37,660 --> 00:12:44,600
You always say that. Now get me that. I
guess I'm just going to have to tell
225
00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:45,600
Jim the truth.
226
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:47,100
Truth is for healthy marriages.
227
00:12:55,700 --> 00:12:56,700
Look,
228
00:12:57,520 --> 00:13:00,640
he's a guy. You just have to distract
him with something else he'll like
229
00:13:01,220 --> 00:13:03,320
You know, he is pretty easily
distracted.
230
00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:06,660
Yeah. A bowl of pudding and a shiny set
of keys ought to do the trick.
231
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:09,640
Well, well, well.
232
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:14,300
I got something on my wife and she
doesn't know it.
233
00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:16,360
I'm going to have fun with this one.
234
00:13:17,620 --> 00:13:20,480
I'm going out. Do you hear me? I can't
stop you.
235
00:13:52,359 --> 00:13:54,380
Are you paying by cash or check?
236
00:13:57,400 --> 00:14:02,460
I like your two moving in together.
237
00:14:02,840 --> 00:14:03,840
We got to register.
238
00:14:33,930 --> 00:14:37,570
Royal Flush actually puts the seat back
down when you're done.
239
00:14:38,430 --> 00:14:40,690
Now, how many arguments is that going to
save?
240
00:14:42,550 --> 00:14:46,210
Oh, and it's the official toilet of the
Swedish monarchy.
241
00:14:47,310 --> 00:14:49,530
Some of the cleanest people in the
world. Yes.
242
00:14:49,750 --> 00:14:50,750
Hey, honey.
243
00:14:51,170 --> 00:14:57,770
You know, since we're redecorating, I
was thinking about a plasma TV for the
244
00:14:57,770 --> 00:14:58,970
bedroom. Huh?
245
00:14:59,530 --> 00:15:02,790
Look at that guy watching baseball. How
happy is he?
246
00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:07,700
Plasma TV? The Royal Flush?
247
00:15:08,260 --> 00:15:10,420
God, if there was a fire, I wouldn't
know what to save.
248
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:14,020
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, Jim.
249
00:15:14,220 --> 00:15:18,720
Are you saying that you can afford a
Royal Flush XP and a Plasma TV?
250
00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:22,180
No, you're right. One has to go.
251
00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:25,540
Yeah, well, I'm thinking to go for the
Plasma TV.
252
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:26,979
You'd think.
253
00:15:26,980 --> 00:15:28,260
Yeah. Nah, toilet.
254
00:15:30,140 --> 00:15:35,480
Okay, I'm going to go upstairs and say
goodbye to my old porcelain friend.
255
00:15:36,710 --> 00:15:38,430
Just one more thing. Cheryl, Cheryl,
Cheryl.
256
00:15:39,070 --> 00:15:41,430
Newspaper under the arm. The countdown
has begun.
257
00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:50,650
Okay, but what do you think, honey? What
do you think of a mini fridge in the
258
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:51,650
living room?
259
00:15:52,350 --> 00:15:55,250
A mini fridge in the living room? Cold
beers in here? It wouldn't have to go
260
00:15:55,250 --> 00:15:56,069
into the kitchen.
261
00:15:56,070 --> 00:15:58,710
No. But how would Ruby and Gracie get
their exercise?
262
00:16:01,230 --> 00:16:02,230
Yeah, you're right.
263
00:16:02,930 --> 00:16:03,930
Nah, toilet.
264
00:16:04,770 --> 00:16:05,770
Okay, Jim, hey.
265
00:16:07,370 --> 00:16:09,850
How about a steam shower?
266
00:16:10,490 --> 00:16:11,810
No, bad experience.
267
00:16:16,510 --> 00:16:19,210
You know, a steam shower would be
awesome, but you know what?
268
00:16:19,730 --> 00:16:22,010
So is the royal flush. That's awesome,
too.
269
00:16:22,710 --> 00:16:24,230
How about sex with another woman?
270
00:16:29,130 --> 00:16:30,130
You or me?
271
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:45,300
of that toilet.
272
00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:47,080
So to speak.
273
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:48,360
Yeah.
274
00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:52,680
My only two options now are telling him
the truth or leaving him. I know this
275
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:53,419
great bar.
276
00:16:53,420 --> 00:16:55,800
Totally hot, guys. You're a little old,
but they keep it dark.
277
00:16:56,060 --> 00:16:57,060
Hey!
278
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,380
Andy! What, what, what? Hey!
279
00:17:00,260 --> 00:17:01,260
That's our toilet!
280
00:17:01,820 --> 00:17:04,280
Not anymore. Now it's a planter for my
front porch.
281
00:17:05,740 --> 00:17:08,859
Yep. Jim's upstairs installing the Royal
Flush XP.
282
00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:11,240
What? That's not possible.
283
00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:13,619
Why? You said you ordered it, right?
284
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:17,599
Well, yeah, but... Yep, as soon as he
gets that modem set up, that thing's
285
00:17:17,599 --> 00:17:18,599
be online.
286
00:17:25,359 --> 00:17:26,740
So what are you gonna plant in that
thing?
287
00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:29,340
I'm not sure yet, but I know it's gonna
grow.
288
00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:37,700
Whoa.
289
00:17:44,620 --> 00:17:46,140
Toilet, seat up!
290
00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:51,740
Toilet, music!
291
00:17:56,360 --> 00:17:58,380
So, where'd this thing come from?
292
00:17:58,700 --> 00:18:01,320
From my wonderful wife, right?
293
00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:04,240
Right. You know, that's what I love
about you.
294
00:18:04,700 --> 00:18:07,740
You ask me my opinion, and you listen.
295
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:14,570
dance to toilet music. All right. Here.
Why don't you sit down?
296
00:18:14,790 --> 00:18:18,450
No, no. Come on. Try it on. I want you
to experience the XP's unsurpassed
297
00:18:18,450 --> 00:18:20,350
comfort and beverage holder.
298
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,010
Hello, Cheryl.
299
00:18:25,470 --> 00:18:26,470
Oh, my God!
300
00:18:27,830 --> 00:18:32,230
It knows my name? Yeah, yeah. It's
weight sensitive. I programmed it.
301
00:18:32,650 --> 00:18:33,670
Hello, Jim.
302
00:18:35,290 --> 00:18:38,230
Hello. Is that James Earl Jones?
303
00:18:38,490 --> 00:18:39,490
Yeah.
304
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:43,760
Don't you just love the way his voice
resonates around the sides of the bowl?
305
00:18:45,220 --> 00:18:46,440
It kind of tickles me.
306
00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:50,000
You know what? And get this.
307
00:18:50,220 --> 00:18:53,760
It comes with a lifetime guarantee,
Cheryl. That means we'll never need a
308
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:55,180
toilet. Ever, ever, ever.
309
00:18:55,580 --> 00:19:00,100
And you know what? When I die, Kyle will
inherit the throne, just like
310
00:19:00,100 --> 00:19:01,100
Shakespeare.
311
00:19:01,860 --> 00:19:03,940
Come on over here and sit with me. Come
on, come on.
312
00:19:04,140 --> 00:19:05,140
Hello, Andy.
313
00:19:14,860 --> 00:19:17,060
in the toilet that the both of us picked
out together?
314
00:19:17,340 --> 00:19:18,340
Stop it. Stop it, all right?
315
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,960
I lied.
316
00:19:21,420 --> 00:19:24,320
Is that what you want to hear? I am a
great big hypocrite.
317
00:19:24,940 --> 00:19:26,020
Why, Cheryl, why?
318
00:19:26,620 --> 00:19:29,480
What would drive a common housewife to
lie to her husband?
319
00:19:30,380 --> 00:19:31,600
Because you were right.
320
00:19:32,060 --> 00:19:34,340
Because I don't care about your stupid
opinions.
321
00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:38,820
I just want you to tell me that
everything I choose is perfect because,
322
00:19:55,110 --> 00:19:56,110
You don't need to, Cheryl.
323
00:19:56,330 --> 00:19:57,630
Well, well, well.
324
00:19:59,790 --> 00:20:02,390
Just a little option that I splurged on.
325
00:20:03,630 --> 00:20:06,190
All right. Your point is made. You win.
326
00:20:06,390 --> 00:20:08,510
Now can we get rid of it? No, no. No
way.
327
00:20:08,710 --> 00:20:09,710
No way.
328
00:20:09,890 --> 00:20:16,090
This will stand as a chrome monument and
a timeless message to women everywhere.
329
00:20:16,970 --> 00:20:20,610
Don't ask your man for his opinion
unless you really want it.
330
00:20:21,960 --> 00:20:24,740
I promise I will never show you another
paint sample. Or?
331
00:20:24,940 --> 00:20:30,140
Or take you to another sofa showroom.
Or? Or ask you for your decorative
332
00:20:30,140 --> 00:20:31,320
on anything ever again.
333
00:20:31,700 --> 00:20:32,639
Thank you.
334
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,960
I will be happy not to be there for you.
335
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:41,040
Now, let me show you this. Oh, my God.
Come on, really, really. It's got an
336
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:44,020
adjustable seat. Oh. Okay? It's got a
nightlight.
337
00:20:44,220 --> 00:20:45,220
Ew!
338
00:20:46,980 --> 00:20:49,160
And it's self -cleaning.
339
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:51,129
So clean.
340
00:20:51,130 --> 00:20:52,130
What?
26575
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