All language subtitles for according_to_jim_s01e18_birthday_boys

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,900 --> 00:00:02,900 Here we go. 2 00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:08,580 Happy first birthday, my son. 3 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:13,640 Now, this is a Sunday. 4 00:00:15,820 --> 00:00:17,860 It's a Sunday, but don't be fooled by the name. 5 00:00:18,500 --> 00:00:20,020 Because you can have it every day of the week. 6 00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:22,480 That's right. 7 00:00:23,020 --> 00:00:24,020 Make a wish. 8 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:28,700 Let me give you some advice. If you're going to wish for the chicken alias, not 9 00:00:28,700 --> 00:00:29,700 going to happen. 10 00:00:30,459 --> 00:00:31,520 Ready? Ready? 11 00:00:32,860 --> 00:00:38,340 All for you, my son. 12 00:00:41,380 --> 00:00:43,000 All for me, my son. 13 00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:51,000 And when you're a little older, we're going to have beer with this. 14 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:54,320 Oh, 15 00:00:54,980 --> 00:00:57,520 baby. 16 00:01:01,470 --> 00:01:04,150 Yeah, that's right. Happy birthday, boy. 17 00:01:04,730 --> 00:01:09,190 It's a little man workbench. You like that? Look at it. It's got a wrench and 18 00:01:09,190 --> 00:01:11,430 screwdriver and a saw. You can be just like that. 19 00:01:11,730 --> 00:01:13,370 Exposed butt cracks sold separately. 20 00:01:16,110 --> 00:01:17,130 Somebody's been looking. 21 00:01:17,570 --> 00:01:18,570 Ew. 22 00:01:19,610 --> 00:01:20,610 Oh, sorry. 23 00:01:20,890 --> 00:01:22,090 I didn't see you there. 24 00:01:22,530 --> 00:01:25,890 Interesting. It's my birthday, too, yet you didn't see me. 25 00:01:28,010 --> 00:01:29,250 You only see Kyle. 26 00:01:30,380 --> 00:01:32,440 Look at that smug smile on his face. 27 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,800 Oh, he's probably pooping, Andy. 28 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:36,120 Oh. 29 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:39,400 Great. Hey, everybody, look at me. I'm pooping. 30 00:01:44,580 --> 00:01:46,680 I try and make a joke, and he shows me up. 31 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,260 All right, Andy, what's going on? I don't know. 32 00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:57,860 It's just now that Kyle and I have the same birthday, which is great. 33 00:01:58,380 --> 00:01:59,339 Big fan. 34 00:01:59,340 --> 00:02:02,720 Are we going to celebrate together every year? 35 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,000 No. 36 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:05,160 Someday you'll die. 37 00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:10,900 I love Kyle. I guess I just don't want to share my birthday. 38 00:02:11,300 --> 00:02:15,360 I'm trying to look at this as an adult, but it's just that I'm... Big baby. 39 00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:19,160 You're the baby. 40 00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:20,540 Andy won. Gracie's in. 41 00:02:22,380 --> 00:02:25,380 How about this? Why don't we do something special for you? What would 42 00:02:25,640 --> 00:02:26,640 I don't know. 43 00:02:26,990 --> 00:02:28,070 Oh, come on. There must be something. 44 00:02:28,410 --> 00:02:32,270 Dinner at the Rusty Schooner restaurant and an 8 .45 viewing of Rollerball at 45 00:02:32,270 --> 00:02:34,310 the Cineplex and a treat. Surprise me. No coconut. 46 00:02:35,670 --> 00:02:38,650 Rusty Schooner. Isn't that the place with the 72 -ounce steak? 47 00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:39,649 Oh, Jim. 48 00:02:39,650 --> 00:02:41,250 Jim, that's four and a half pounds of meat. 49 00:02:41,590 --> 00:02:43,050 It's like trying to eat your own head. 50 00:02:44,150 --> 00:02:48,410 Oh, and if you finish it, they give you the little metal pin that's shaped like 51 00:02:48,410 --> 00:02:49,109 an anchor. 52 00:02:49,110 --> 00:02:51,850 You know what? You go for the pin. I'm going for the challenge. 53 00:02:52,150 --> 00:02:53,450 Man against meat. 54 00:02:53,950 --> 00:02:55,510 So far, I'm undefeated. 55 00:02:57,230 --> 00:02:58,790 Okay, it's time. 56 00:02:59,410 --> 00:03:01,550 Hello. For my present for Kyle. 57 00:03:02,050 --> 00:03:03,730 Oh, look at this, sweetie. 58 00:03:04,930 --> 00:03:09,230 One custom -painted mural for your child's room from We World of Wonder. 59 00:03:09,770 --> 00:03:13,390 Danny, this must have cost a fortune. Oh, don't worry about it. But, yeah, it 60 00:03:13,390 --> 00:03:14,390 did. No. 61 00:03:15,010 --> 00:03:16,690 It's sweet, but it's a little much. 62 00:03:16,990 --> 00:03:20,130 Oh, come on, Cheryl. He's my boy. Oh, he's my boy. 63 00:03:20,350 --> 00:03:21,490 I'm his auntie. 64 00:03:22,159 --> 00:03:25,660 I know, I know, but you buy these expensive gifts for the girls. I'm 65 00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:26,740 you're spoiling me. 66 00:03:26,960 --> 00:03:27,960 Cheryl, 67 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:29,760 she wants to spend the money on the gift's letter. 68 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,000 Come on, birthdays are a big deal. Thank you, Jim. 69 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:33,280 You're welcome, Dana. 70 00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:34,559 More cake? 71 00:03:34,560 --> 00:03:37,440 Don't mind if I do. No, I mean I want you to get me some more cake. 72 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:39,640 All right. 73 00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:41,340 Unless Cheryl thinks I'm spoiling you. 74 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:45,140 Oh, I'll get it. 75 00:03:45,540 --> 00:03:47,580 She'll never get the right ice cream to cake ratio. 76 00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:52,770 You know what I'm thinking about? 77 00:03:53,570 --> 00:03:54,570 Oh, let me see. 78 00:03:54,890 --> 00:03:58,050 Couldn't be that 72 -ounce steak at the Rusty Schooner, could it? 79 00:03:58,790 --> 00:03:59,790 No. 80 00:04:00,310 --> 00:04:05,950 I'm thinking about birthdays and, I don't know, passages of time, family, 81 00:04:06,030 --> 00:04:09,150 you know, life just goes by in a blink. 82 00:04:12,010 --> 00:04:13,890 All right, you got me. I was thinking about steak. 83 00:04:21,899 --> 00:04:23,160 You took Dana's side. 84 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:25,720 I didn't take Dana's side. It's just how I felt. 85 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:26,779 What are you doing? 86 00:04:26,780 --> 00:04:29,080 I'm looking for a good, sturdy pair of steak pants. 87 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:31,880 What? 88 00:04:32,340 --> 00:04:34,880 Cheryl, I'm going to eat a 72 -ounce piece of meat. 89 00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:37,220 I need a pair of pants that are up to the challenge. 90 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:41,360 Hey, where are those pants that I wear when I have my winter weight? 91 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:45,120 You ripped them when you were carrying your summer weight. 92 00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:51,860 it with Dana. I keep asking her not to spend so much, but every birthday, every 93 00:04:51,860 --> 00:04:53,780 holiday, it's $100, $200 gifts. 94 00:04:54,160 --> 00:04:57,600 Look, if she's stupid enough to love her kids as much as we do, she deserves it. 95 00:05:00,820 --> 00:05:07,460 Hey, remember last 96 00:05:07,460 --> 00:05:09,880 Halloween I played MC Hammer? Where are those pants? 97 00:05:11,820 --> 00:05:13,480 You made them into a tent for the kids. 98 00:05:17,610 --> 00:05:21,770 Right. I mean, she does love her kids a lot. Hey, look, it's only money. Yeah. 99 00:05:21,890 --> 00:05:23,090 Better yet, it's her money. 100 00:05:23,390 --> 00:05:24,990 Okay. Would you do me a favor? 101 00:05:25,210 --> 00:05:27,830 Would you pick up the check tomorrow at Andy's birthday dinner? It would help 102 00:05:27,830 --> 00:05:29,570 even things out for me. All right. 103 00:05:29,850 --> 00:05:32,250 But make sure the kids fill up on bread before they order. 104 00:05:32,530 --> 00:05:33,530 Of course. 105 00:05:34,730 --> 00:05:38,510 Hey, what do you think if I wear this robe to dinner? 106 00:05:38,910 --> 00:05:40,470 Oh, I don't know, Jim. What if there's a breeze? 107 00:05:44,750 --> 00:05:46,510 No, really. I could put an ascot on. 108 00:05:47,370 --> 00:05:50,090 With you on my arm, everyone will think I'm half. 109 00:05:50,330 --> 00:05:51,690 No, they won't. 110 00:05:52,050 --> 00:05:53,050 You're right. 111 00:05:53,210 --> 00:05:54,210 You're not twins. 112 00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:59,410 But if you were... No, Jim. No, no. 113 00:06:34,570 --> 00:06:36,350 a 72 -ounce landlubber. 114 00:06:36,870 --> 00:06:39,730 Yep. And it's about to set sail. 115 00:06:41,830 --> 00:06:42,830 Abast me, Hardy. 116 00:06:43,510 --> 00:06:45,550 Requesting an official gold anchor pin. 117 00:06:46,490 --> 00:06:48,330 Arrgh. We don't have pins. We have stickers. 118 00:06:51,890 --> 00:06:52,970 Can we have one? 119 00:06:53,210 --> 00:06:56,010 No, girl. No, it's a special sticker. 120 00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:57,450 The only people who get these... 121 00:07:18,570 --> 00:07:22,150 Well, let's either finish the steak or keep my pants on. What do you want me to 122 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:23,150 do? 123 00:07:23,470 --> 00:07:25,770 Keep your pants on. 124 00:07:27,430 --> 00:07:28,590 Oh, here, I'll take that. 125 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:31,470 No, no, no, no. Let me get the check. 126 00:07:31,990 --> 00:07:33,630 I'm not Jim, really. He's my brother. 127 00:07:34,050 --> 00:07:35,690 All right. You can't argue. 128 00:07:35,930 --> 00:07:36,930 Yes, I can. 129 00:07:38,070 --> 00:07:39,750 Andy, it's Cheryl's brother. 130 00:07:40,370 --> 00:07:41,390 I'm married to Cheryl. 131 00:07:41,770 --> 00:07:42,810 I'm going to take the check. 132 00:07:45,610 --> 00:07:46,610 Whoa! 133 00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:49,070 Somebody break something? 134 00:07:52,730 --> 00:07:53,850 It's my pleasure. 135 00:07:55,870 --> 00:07:58,490 Jim, please, I can afford this. So can I. 136 00:07:58,770 --> 00:08:02,150 But this is not a problem for me. What, do you think it's a problem for me? 137 00:08:02,390 --> 00:08:04,430 Well, I do make more money than you. 138 00:08:09,550 --> 00:08:14,330 Give me the check. 139 00:08:45,290 --> 00:08:46,290 was in my stomach. 140 00:08:46,750 --> 00:08:50,250 Oh, can you blame it? You ate 72 ounces of meat. 141 00:08:50,690 --> 00:08:53,870 No, Cheryl, I conquered 72 ounces of meat. 142 00:08:54,990 --> 00:08:57,050 Can you believe Dana said that tonight? 143 00:08:57,710 --> 00:09:00,530 She said, I make more money than you. Well, she does. 144 00:09:01,350 --> 00:09:02,350 How do you know that? 145 00:09:02,550 --> 00:09:05,390 Because I know what you make and I know what she makes. Do you really want to 146 00:09:05,390 --> 00:09:06,410 know? No. 147 00:09:06,970 --> 00:09:08,430 Yeah. No. 148 00:09:10,570 --> 00:09:11,570 Jim. 149 00:09:11,850 --> 00:09:13,230 She didn't mean anything. 150 00:09:14,970 --> 00:09:19,870 nice. No, she wasn't. She was trying to rub it in my face like she does when she 151 00:09:19,870 --> 00:09:21,670 buys those expensive gifts for the kids. 152 00:09:21,950 --> 00:09:22,950 Wait a minute. 153 00:09:23,050 --> 00:09:26,090 When I said something about those gifts, I believe you said, it's only money. 154 00:09:26,570 --> 00:09:30,410 I say lots of things. I said I was going to have a Diet Coke tonight. What did I 155 00:09:30,410 --> 00:09:31,550 have? Six beers. 156 00:09:31,750 --> 00:09:32,750 There you go. 157 00:09:33,850 --> 00:09:35,090 You are a hypocrite. 158 00:09:35,810 --> 00:09:38,790 You change your mind all the time. You call it being a woman. I do it. I'm a 159 00:09:38,790 --> 00:09:40,710 hypocrite? I'm sorry, honey. 160 00:09:41,030 --> 00:09:42,030 You're a woman. 161 00:09:45,089 --> 00:09:49,190 Well, this woman is going to go downstairs and sleep on the couch. Oh, 162 00:09:49,470 --> 00:09:50,890 come on. Don't be mad. 163 00:09:51,350 --> 00:09:56,190 Cheryl, I just ate four and a half pounds of meat. I'm sleeping on the 164 00:09:56,190 --> 00:09:57,730 because I love you. 165 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:16,280 Drum roll, please. 166 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:18,780 Ta -da! Wow! 167 00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:21,060 Lena, I love it! 168 00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:26,860 Oh, look, look, it's Jack Spratt, 420 Blackwoods, Hey Diddle Diddle, a couple 169 00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:30,600 rabbits falling down a hill. This is great. I'm really proud of how it turned 170 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:32,120 out. It is. What do you think, Jim? 171 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:34,660 No, I don't know. I mean, it's nice. 172 00:10:35,380 --> 00:10:39,200 That spoon and that dish running off together, I mean, it's kind of 173 00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:40,600 but... 174 00:10:41,900 --> 00:10:44,700 beautiful. In fact, it's so beautiful, I kind of feel like we need to repaint 175 00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:47,000 Kyle's room before we put it up there. I mean, don't you think? 176 00:10:47,320 --> 00:10:48,320 Yes. 177 00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:50,520 We'll paint Kyle's room. We'll paint their whole house. 178 00:10:50,840 --> 00:10:52,700 I love gifts that make me do more work. 179 00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:57,100 You know, maybe we should put it in the garage until the room is done. You know, 180 00:10:57,120 --> 00:10:58,120 I think it'll be safer there. 181 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,940 Aunt Dana, can we have one for our room? 182 00:11:01,780 --> 00:11:05,640 Please? No, girls. This is Aunt Dana's special gift for Kyle. 183 00:11:06,140 --> 00:11:07,340 Then can we have a pony? 184 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:09,240 Please? 185 00:11:09,660 --> 00:11:10,519 We'll see. 186 00:11:10,520 --> 00:11:15,030 Girls, girls, don't go. asking Aunt Dana for stuff like that. You ask me. I'm 187 00:11:15,030 --> 00:11:15,889 your father. 188 00:11:15,890 --> 00:11:17,370 I'll get you what you want. 189 00:11:17,670 --> 00:11:18,690 Can you get us a pony? 190 00:11:18,970 --> 00:11:19,970 No. 191 00:11:21,070 --> 00:11:22,350 I want it. 192 00:11:25,550 --> 00:11:31,150 Girls, it's not that I don't have the money for a pony or enough money to take 193 00:11:31,150 --> 00:11:32,930 people out to a steak dinner or whatever. 194 00:11:33,750 --> 00:11:36,990 It's that the best gifts come from here. 195 00:11:37,450 --> 00:11:38,550 Not from here. 196 00:11:38,970 --> 00:11:39,970 From your butt? 197 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:46,560 No, from my wallet. 198 00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:52,700 But what I'm trying to say, girls, is that the pony isn't important. 199 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:55,620 What's important is love. 200 00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:58,920 You understand what I'm trying to say, girls? 201 00:12:14,570 --> 00:12:15,570 made breakfast? 202 00:12:15,750 --> 00:12:17,590 Well, today's kind of a special day. Why? 203 00:12:18,690 --> 00:12:19,589 Sit down. 204 00:12:19,590 --> 00:12:21,730 Okay. Come on, sit, sit, sit. 205 00:12:22,430 --> 00:12:23,430 Cheryl, 206 00:12:23,690 --> 00:12:25,310 I did something wonderful today. 207 00:12:25,690 --> 00:12:26,690 Oh, my God. 208 00:12:27,870 --> 00:12:30,170 What do you say that for? You don't even know what I'm going to say. 209 00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:33,070 Well, honey, that's the last time you did something wonderful. I ended up with 210 00:12:33,070 --> 00:12:34,790 60 rotting tires in the backyard. 211 00:12:35,290 --> 00:12:38,730 Cheryl, Rubber Circle Fun Land was a great idea. 212 00:12:40,810 --> 00:12:43,410 But this idea is better. 213 00:12:46,380 --> 00:12:47,500 I got the girls a pony. 214 00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:50,440 What? 215 00:12:50,720 --> 00:12:52,480 Oh, tell me it's just for the day. 216 00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:56,400 You bought a pony? 217 00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:58,300 No, Cheryl. 218 00:12:59,460 --> 00:13:00,640 We bought a pony. 219 00:13:01,900 --> 00:13:03,420 I put your name on the card. 220 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:04,800 Oh. 221 00:13:10,580 --> 00:13:11,580 What? 222 00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:13,520 That's not a pony. 223 00:13:13,980 --> 00:13:15,060 Not a pony donkey. 224 00:13:15,310 --> 00:13:16,550 The girls aren't going to be able to tell the difference. 225 00:13:18,570 --> 00:13:21,010 Besides, do you know how much a pony is? 226 00:13:21,850 --> 00:13:22,910 Like $1 ,500. 227 00:13:24,250 --> 00:13:25,910 I got this pony for a deal. 228 00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:28,390 All right, stop calling it a pony. 229 00:13:29,630 --> 00:13:30,630 How much was it? 230 00:13:31,170 --> 00:13:32,170 $300. 231 00:13:32,630 --> 00:13:36,030 Down from $500, he still kicks, you know. What? 232 00:13:37,190 --> 00:13:38,190 I'm going to train him. 233 00:13:38,830 --> 00:13:40,630 You are going to train a donkey? 234 00:13:41,230 --> 00:13:44,970 Cheryl, come on. Doggies are very smart animals. It's the movies that make them 235 00:13:44,970 --> 00:13:45,970 look stupid. 236 00:13:46,650 --> 00:13:48,670 Besides, look at that. They threw in a bale of hay. 237 00:13:49,790 --> 00:13:50,870 And it's Derby. 238 00:13:57,650 --> 00:14:00,490 Well, he calms down. I'm going to put him on. I'm a little scared. 239 00:14:03,150 --> 00:14:04,670 He's got a great personality. 240 00:14:05,590 --> 00:14:06,790 And his name is Paul. 241 00:14:08,230 --> 00:14:09,570 I'm not married to that name. 242 00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:11,990 Speaking of being married to an ass. 243 00:14:14,930 --> 00:14:16,350 That's funny. I'm going to use that. 244 00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:19,050 There is no way you're keeping that donkey. 245 00:14:19,250 --> 00:14:20,690 What are you talking about? Why not? 246 00:14:21,270 --> 00:14:22,270 I'll walk him. 247 00:14:22,530 --> 00:14:23,650 I'll take care of him. 248 00:14:25,090 --> 00:14:27,790 Cheryl, the girls are really going to love him. 249 00:14:28,290 --> 00:14:31,990 And you know what? I think you'd love Paul, too, if I put this little derby 250 00:14:32,950 --> 00:14:34,490 Maybe a big pair of sunglasses. 251 00:14:42,730 --> 00:14:43,730 Paul? 252 00:14:45,110 --> 00:14:49,430 Oh, my God, Dana's mural is ruined. 253 00:14:50,630 --> 00:14:53,450 All right, Cheryl, this is where the training starts. 254 00:14:54,270 --> 00:14:56,330 Come on, help me rub his nose in it. 255 00:15:15,310 --> 00:15:16,310 Nice going, Cheryl. 256 00:15:19,090 --> 00:15:20,630 This will blow over, Paul. 257 00:15:29,170 --> 00:15:30,210 Not my fault. 258 00:15:31,370 --> 00:15:32,650 It was Paul's. 259 00:15:34,590 --> 00:15:35,590 Paul. 260 00:15:36,270 --> 00:15:37,930 You know what? You should have named him. 261 00:15:42,290 --> 00:15:43,990 Donkey Hotey. 262 00:15:48,780 --> 00:15:49,780 Don Quixote? 263 00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:51,860 Man of La Mancha? 264 00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:53,300 No? 265 00:15:56,980 --> 00:15:58,520 Who? How about Mr. Applesauce? 266 00:16:02,300 --> 00:16:06,460 Oh, she's so upset. You know, she was really proud of that mural. 267 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:08,480 Yeah, I know. 268 00:16:09,100 --> 00:16:12,360 But you know what? In a way, it's kind of funny. 269 00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:17,500 David spent $500 on a mural for her only nephew, and now it's ruined. 270 00:16:18,250 --> 00:16:19,250 own a donkey. 271 00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:20,630 How is that funny? 272 00:16:21,190 --> 00:16:23,010 Well, I'd tell it better than that. 273 00:16:26,350 --> 00:16:31,110 Oh, I think he's lonely. I'm going to keep him company. 274 00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:33,910 Coming, Mr. 275 00:16:34,270 --> 00:16:35,270 Applesauce! 276 00:16:36,210 --> 00:16:37,470 His name is Paul. 277 00:16:38,350 --> 00:16:39,470 Give him his dignity. 278 00:16:42,010 --> 00:16:46,410 Hey, when Dana comes out of the bathroom, I think you really need to 279 00:16:46,410 --> 00:16:47,410 her. Why? 280 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,060 I didn't kick the mural and pee on it. 281 00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:53,140 Well, you got me there, Jim. 282 00:16:53,940 --> 00:16:57,980 However, you did buy the donkey because you wanted to prove that you could spend 283 00:16:57,980 --> 00:17:00,440 money, too, because you were threatened by the fact that my sister makes more 284 00:17:00,440 --> 00:17:01,440 money than you. 285 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:04,140 What are you talking about? 286 00:17:04,579 --> 00:17:05,760 There you go again. 287 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:09,079 Confusing the issue to take the blame off of yourself. 288 00:17:12,839 --> 00:17:14,619 Me? What did I do? 289 00:17:15,140 --> 00:17:16,140 You don't know? 290 00:17:19,109 --> 00:17:22,190 a favor and pick up the check for Andy's dinner? 291 00:17:23,150 --> 00:17:25,630 What does that have to do with a donkey in our garage? 292 00:17:25,890 --> 00:17:30,150 Cheryl, if you can't draw a straight line from a steak dinner to a donkey in 293 00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:31,550 garage, then I can't help you. 294 00:17:33,930 --> 00:17:34,930 All right, you guys. 295 00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:38,050 I think I'm just going to go home. I'll see you later. Bye -bye. 296 00:17:39,910 --> 00:17:40,910 Go, go. 297 00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:02,320 That donkey is an ass. 298 00:18:04,820 --> 00:18:05,860 Cheryl gave me that. 299 00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:09,900 She also, you know, put the mural in the garage. 300 00:18:11,980 --> 00:18:16,060 But you know what? We're big enough. We can both forgive her. Jim, this isn't 301 00:18:16,060 --> 00:18:17,019 about the mural. 302 00:18:17,020 --> 00:18:19,740 You're threatened because a woman makes more money than you. 303 00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:22,100 What is with you and Cheryl? 304 00:18:22,720 --> 00:18:26,880 I am not threatened by women making more money than me. Come on, I know that. 305 00:18:27,180 --> 00:18:28,260 I mean, there's Oprah. 306 00:18:28,820 --> 00:18:30,420 There's Madonna. 307 00:18:31,020 --> 00:18:34,440 There's that blonde lady who makes lampshades out of apples. 308 00:18:34,760 --> 00:18:35,719 Martha Stewart? 309 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:36,719 Okay. 310 00:18:36,720 --> 00:18:38,680 So then what is your problem? 311 00:18:39,340 --> 00:18:41,480 I'll tell you what my problem is, Dana. 312 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:44,280 It's what you said the other night. 313 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:46,960 I make more money than you. 314 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:48,680 In front of my kids. 315 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:53,160 Dana, that's why they're coming up to you and asking you for stuff. 316 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:54,960 Instead of me, their father. 317 00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:57,300 I'm the head of the family. 318 00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:59,400 And when you said that, it just... 319 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,940 Cut me off at the meetings. All I wanted to do was pay for dinner. 320 00:19:03,260 --> 00:19:04,260 David, that's fine. 321 00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:06,840 But it's just the way you did it. 322 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,160 It made me feel about this big. 323 00:19:10,700 --> 00:19:11,700 Wait a minute. 324 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:14,640 Are you saying that I hurt your feelings? No! 325 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,460 I'm just saying you make me feel bad inside. 326 00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:26,160 Jim, of course you're the head of this family. 327 00:19:26,780 --> 00:19:29,380 You take care of everybody. You even... 328 00:19:29,590 --> 00:19:30,630 Take care of me and Andy. 329 00:19:31,210 --> 00:19:32,550 Well, then I had no choice. 330 00:19:33,490 --> 00:19:34,890 You guys were thrust at me. 331 00:19:37,230 --> 00:19:38,590 All right, I see what happened. 332 00:19:38,830 --> 00:19:40,690 You do? Yeah, I shouldn't have said that thing. 333 00:19:41,830 --> 00:19:42,830 I'm sorry. 334 00:19:45,750 --> 00:19:46,750 Thank you. 335 00:19:47,510 --> 00:19:50,790 I'm not going to stop buying stuff for your kids, though. No, no, I want you to 336 00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:51,850 keep doing that. All right. 337 00:19:53,210 --> 00:19:56,450 Actually, you know what they really want? I heard them talking. 338 00:19:56,690 --> 00:19:57,690 What? 339 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:00,220 That DirecTV with the sports package? 340 00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:02,480 Really? 341 00:20:03,040 --> 00:20:05,020 Ruby has been chattering about it. 342 00:20:06,260 --> 00:20:07,940 Something about international soccer. 343 00:20:10,540 --> 00:20:11,540 So are we okay? 344 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:14,080 Yeah. Should we hug? 345 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:15,760 No. We're okay. 346 00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:21,440 Listen, the mural? Yeah. I want to pay for it. 347 00:20:21,740 --> 00:20:22,740 What? 348 00:20:23,300 --> 00:20:25,680 Between a steak dinner and a donkey pony? 349 00:20:27,950 --> 00:20:31,730 I'm just a little tapped out right now. Yeah, that's okay. I can afford it. I 350 00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:32,730 make more money than you. 351 00:20:34,910 --> 00:20:36,950 Oh, come on. I didn't stay in front of anyone. 352 00:20:37,790 --> 00:20:39,670 I was this close to hugging you. 353 00:20:40,890 --> 00:20:43,810 Hey, you guys, you've got to check this out. 354 00:21:01,550 --> 00:21:02,550 needs to find a girlfriend. 355 00:21:03,050 --> 00:21:04,250 I think you just did. 26360

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.