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1
00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:05,714
You, Eleanor shellstrop, are dead.
2
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,006
Cool!
3
00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:09,635
Eleanor, you are my soulmate.
4
00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:11,553
There's been a big mistake...
5
00:00:12,554 --> 00:00:14,473
I'm not supposed to be here.
6
00:00:14,598 --> 00:00:15,598
Wait, what?
7
00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:17,893
Applause
— these people might be "good"
8
00:00:17,976 --> 00:00:20,145
but are they really
that much better than me?
9
00:00:20,437 --> 00:00:22,064
Thunder — rumbling
10
00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:26,276
chidi: Eleanor,
this is all happening because of you!
11
00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:29,196
Give me a chance.
Let me earn my place here.
12
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:31,156
Let me be your ethical Guinea pig.
13
00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:33,408
My soul is in your hands, soulmate.
14
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:38,247
Chidi:
I, uh... I don't know what to do here.
15
00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:40,582
This is a mess — morally speaking.
16
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:44,795
This is a putrid,
disgusting bowl of ethical soup.
17
00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:47,339
Okay, well, how about we just chill
18
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:51,093
and go to the town meeting
and talk it out after.
19
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:52,427
Wha— — great! Hey
20
00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:54,471
how do I make
that helper woman show up?
21
00:00:55,222 --> 00:00:57,099
Hello... front desk lady...
22
00:00:57,516 --> 00:01:00,018
Magical slave robot?
— excuse me, Janet?
23
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,687
Hi, there. — she gasps
24
00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:04,606
still not used to it.
Um, Janet, I need...
25
00:01:05,482 --> 00:01:08,944
Quick question — can anyone
access our search history
26
00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:11,697
or is this an incognito browsing situation
27
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,925
like when you're stalking
a hot mailman from your work computer?
28
00:01:13,949 --> 00:01:15,909
It is one hundred percent confidential.
29
00:01:15,951 --> 00:01:19,037
No one can access what you ask me,
including Michael.
30
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:21,665
Now, what kind of pornography
would you like to see?
31
00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:23,083
No, no, no, no, not porn...
32
00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:26,962
I, um, I need clothes — like yours
and chidi's with the stripes.
33
00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:28,380
Soft beep — there you go.
34
00:01:29,464 --> 00:01:30,757
Indistinct chatter
35
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:33,468
Michael: Everybody,
everybody, gather round, please.
36
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:34,511
Thank you. Thank you.
37
00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:37,973
Obviously, there's something
very wrong with this neighbourhood.
38
00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:42,811
We don't know what it is,
how long it will last, or what caused it.
39
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,229
What do we know, Janet?
40
00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:46,857
We know where it happened — here.
41
00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:48,108
Yes, thank you, Janet.
42
00:01:48,150 --> 00:01:49,526
The chaos happened here.
43
00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:52,404
See, that's the trouble
with these perfect systems...
44
00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,072
One little flaw can lead to...
45
00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:58,368
Well, it can lead to Gary over there.
46
00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:00,495
Hey, Gary. — some gasp
47
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:01,788
hang in there, buddy.
48
00:02:03,165 --> 00:02:04,499
My armpits are leaking.
49
00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,418
What is that called again?
— sweat.
50
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:08,754
Right, right, still not used to being
in a human body.
51
00:02:09,004 --> 00:02:10,189
And what do you do with sweat?
52
00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:11,813
Do... do you lick it away?
Is that right?
53
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,593
Nope, you dab it with a cloth.
— oh, right.
54
00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:17,054
And then you lick the cloth?
55
00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:18,596
That seems weirder.
56
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,267
Tahani: Michael, look.
57
00:02:22,309 --> 00:02:24,311
Okay, that's a good sign.
58
00:02:24,353 --> 00:02:26,605
It... it... it could mean
that this is almost over.
59
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,690
Oh, such relief.
60
00:02:29,024 --> 00:02:32,319
That was my first time as a fashion “don't”
and I did not care for it.
61
00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:43,205
Eleanor:
Okay, things are settling down outside
62
00:02:43,246 --> 00:02:48,001
I think it's time to make me good, partner.
63
00:02:48,293 --> 00:02:49,169
How do we do it?
64
00:02:49,211 --> 00:02:51,963
Is there a pill I can take
or something I could vape?
65
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:53,965
Where did you get a chalkboard?
66
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:57,260
It's the good place, you can get
anything you want at any time.
67
00:02:57,302 --> 00:02:58,679
And you chose a chalkboard?
68
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:00,513
What are you reading?
69
00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:03,600
The metaphysics of morals
by immanuel kant.
70
00:03:03,642 --> 00:03:06,019
It's a treatise
on the aesthetic preconditions
71
00:03:06,061 --> 00:03:07,604
of the mind's receptivity to duty.
72
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,315
It's a book on how to act good.
73
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,818
Oh, great!
So you've decided to help me?
74
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:15,696
I don't know.
There's a thousand questions.
75
00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:18,323
Is there a moral imperative to help you?
76
00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:21,243
Do I have a greater obligation
to my community?
77
00:03:21,284 --> 00:03:24,204
Are you taking someone else's spot —
Someone who deserves to be here?
78
00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:25,414
Ooh! On that question
79
00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:29,042
I honestly think
I was just put here by mistake
80
00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:31,586
because Michael called me
Eleanor shellstrop
81
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:33,255
so he knows I'm me...
82
00:03:33,296 --> 00:03:37,426
He... he's just wrong
about my overall quality level.
83
00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:41,221
Please help me, man.
I swear I am worth it.
84
00:03:41,680 --> 00:03:44,057
Tell me one fact
that you know about me.
85
00:03:44,766 --> 00:03:47,561
We spent the whole day together.
You must remember something.
86
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,063
What country am I from?
87
00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:52,899
She groans
is it racist if I say, “Africa?”
88
00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:56,695
Yes, and Africa is not a country.
I am from Senegal.
89
00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:59,781
Do I have any siblings?
Where did I go to college?
90
00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:02,451
Trick question — you didn't.
91
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:05,579
I was literally a college professor.
92
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:08,331
Do you not remember
one single thing about me?
93
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:10,667
Dude, things have been nuts around here.
94
00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:12,419
I bet you don't know anything about me!
95
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:14,921
You were born in Phoenix.
You went to school in tempe.
96
00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:15,839
You're an only child.
97
00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:18,651
Your favourite show is something called,
the real housewives ofat/anz'a.
98
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:23,180
And your favourite book is
Kendall jenner's Instagram feed.
99
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:25,599
How did you know all that?
100
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:29,811
Because you are constantly
talking about yourself.
101
00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:33,064
You are the most self—obsessed person
I have ever met.
102
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:35,859
You should see
Kendall jenner's Instagram feed.
103
00:04:35,901 --> 00:04:37,581
See, this is my fear about you, Eleanor...
104
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:40,989
You are too selfish to
ever be a good person.
105
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:44,010
Well, I think you're wrong.
— what country am I from again?
106
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:47,162
“Sen_.sodyne”
107
00:04:47,496 --> 00:04:48,830
that is a brand of toothpaste.
108
00:04:49,331 --> 00:04:51,333
Look, the only thing
that you are concerned with
109
00:04:51,583 --> 00:04:52,959
is your own happiness.
110
00:04:54,377 --> 00:04:55,377
That's your problem.
111
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:04,054
Okay, names in the hat —
Time to pick a designated driver.
112
00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:05,680
And the loser is...
113
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:08,224
Betsy.
114
00:05:08,642 --> 00:05:09,851
Wait, you never get picked
115
00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:11,770
and you're always the one
who draws the name.
116
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,188
Let me see that.
— there's no need.
117
00:05:13,438 --> 00:05:16,483
Everyone here believes in my integrity,
one hundred percent. Right, guys?
118
00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:18,527
Give it to me.
119
00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:20,778
For the record
120
00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:24,783
I did that out of principle
because it absolutely had your name on it.
121
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:28,495
If I check the other ones I can
figure it out by process of elimination.
122
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:34,876
Muffled again, out of principle
123
00:05:34,918 --> 00:05:36,545
better watch over you, Betsy.
124
00:05:36,878 --> 00:05:38,505
This is what integrity looks like.
125
00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:43,805
Michael:
All right, everyone, let's get started.
126
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,262
Things have settled down.
127
00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:46,388
Whoo! He chuckles
128
00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:48,265
so, hopefully, we're off and running.
129
00:05:48,598 --> 00:05:51,393
Welcome to orientation, day two.
130
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:53,603
Now, today we're going to start
with something
131
00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:55,856
that everyone has always wanted to do...
132
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:57,649
Soothing bells sounds
— ...Flying.
133
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,651
They cheer and clap
134
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,904
now that you're dead,
let's live a little, right?
135
00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:07,200
Uh, sorry... uh, Michael, if I might...
136
00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:10,495
I was just thinking... earlier today
in all of the chaos
137
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:13,415
large swaths of this neighbourhood
were destroyed.
138
00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:15,542
We thought perhaps
some of us could... uh...
139
00:06:15,584 --> 00:06:17,544
Volunteer to help clean up
the debris, you know
140
00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:20,672
it's quite a fun way to band together
as a community.
141
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:21,756
Isn't that right, jianyu?
142
00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:25,218
Oh, uh, yes, sorry,
for those of you don't know...
143
00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:27,387
My soulmate jianyu here
is a Buddhist monk.
144
00:06:27,429 --> 00:06:30,098
He took a vow of silence
that he's still observing...
145
00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:32,434
Even here, in the good place.
146
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,686
It's truly inspiring.
147
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:37,564
Well, tahani,
it's not really your job to clean up
148
00:06:37,606 --> 00:06:40,567
but I suppose there's no harm
if you really want to.
149
00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:41,985
Oh, well, "hurrah!"
150
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,321
We need about, uh, twelve volunteers.
151
00:06:45,113 --> 00:06:46,990
Oh!
— I can't believe all these people
152
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,951
are passing on flying
to pick up garbage all day.
153
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,203
She laughs have fun, nerds.
154
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:55,415
I'll be soaring through the air
like a forking bird.
155
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:59,336
Eleanor and I would love to help.
— oh, “hurrah, hurrah!”. Yay!
156
00:06:59,669 --> 00:07:01,713
Dude?
— you want to prove you're not selfish?
157
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,131
Here's the perfect test...
158
00:07:03,173 --> 00:07:06,068
There's something fun that you want to do
and then there's something less fun
159
00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:07,802
that people are doing
for the common good.
160
00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:09,012
Which do you choose?
161
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:12,181
Have fun.
162
00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:14,683
Whoo!
163
00:07:15,685 --> 00:07:17,103
Woman laughs
164
00:07:18,396 --> 00:07:20,482
men: Yay! Yeah! All right!
165
00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:22,734
Wee!
166
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:27,656
Hey, up there — having fun
or does it maybe suck, probably?
167
00:07:27,739 --> 00:07:29,366
Well, I wouldn't call it fun...
168
00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:33,745
I'd say it's like it's like fifty million
simultaneous orgasms, but better.
169
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:35,747
How's volunteer garbage pickup?
170
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:39,876
About the same. — great. Wee!
171
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:45,757
You know, this really reminds me
of my time in Vietnam
172
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,969
picking up mortar shells
with my godmother, Diana.
173
00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:51,059
Doesn't really matter
what she's a Princess of.
174
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:51,972
It's not really important.
175
00:07:52,097 --> 00:07:53,890
Tahani, how goes the cleaning?
176
00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:55,684
Oh, swimmingly, Michael.
177
00:07:55,725 --> 00:08:00,146
And I have to say, this neighbourhood
that you built is truly a masterpiece
178
00:08:00,188 --> 00:08:01,690
the likes of which I've never seen
179
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:04,192
and I've been to Johnny Depp's
private bird sanctuary.
180
00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:06,045
Well, thank you.
That's very kind of you to say.
181
00:08:06,069 --> 00:08:09,280
He sniffs
but it's also dead wrong.
182
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:11,741
This neighbourhood is a disaster.
183
00:08:12,409 --> 00:08:15,996
See, I must have made a mistake somewhere
and it led to all this chaos
184
00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:18,837
and now I'm just... I'm just terrified
that it's going to happen again.
185
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,792
I'm trying to put a good face on...
186
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:24,337
Well, this face
that I've constructed for myself
187
00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:28,091
but the truth is, I'm just miserable.
188
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:30,342
I have to go.
189
00:08:30,552 --> 00:08:32,220
Thank you so much for your service.
190
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:36,307
Oh, no... powerful people
do not handle failure well.
191
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:38,601
Michael could be heading
for a total meltdown.
192
00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:43,356
Soulmate, are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
193
00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:44,875
Should we say it at the same time?
194
00:08:44,899 --> 00:08:48,945
All right, one, two, three —
We must help Michael.
195
00:08:49,571 --> 00:08:51,614
Oh, you sly devil
196
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,705
you're going
to keep me on my toes, aren't you?
197
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:55,577
All right, come on, let's go.
198
00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:57,203
They laugh
199
00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:00,373
oh, boy!
— hey, Gunnar. Hey, Antonio.
200
00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:02,042
Hey, Eleanor, isn't this great?
201
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:04,753
Uh, yeah — when I thought of the afterlife
202
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:09,090
I totally pictured being an unpaid,
nonflying janitor.
203
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:10,633
Us, too. He laughs
204
00:09:10,675 --> 00:09:12,927
she laughs you guys are so fun...
205
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,346
Just relentlessly fun.
I keep thinking...
206
00:09:15,388 --> 00:09:17,140
When are they going to stop being fun?
207
00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:18,725
And the answer is, never.
208
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:21,519
You're never going to stop.
— they laugh
209
00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:26,900
well, I have had a pretty full day
of being unselfish.
210
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:30,445
I've made some new friends,
my area is almost garbage free
211
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:33,615
so you're going to help me
figure out how to stay, right?
212
00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:35,450
Oh, that is a really tough question.
213
00:09:35,658 --> 00:09:39,162
Most great philosophers would say
helping you is pointless...
214
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:40,580
That you can't try to be good
215
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:43,124
especially when your motivations
are so obviously corrupt.
216
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:46,127
Yeah, but what do
most great philosophers know?
217
00:09:46,169 --> 00:09:48,272
On the other hand,
Aristotle thought that moral virtue
218
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:49,964
is something
that you could get better at.
219
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:52,133
He... he compared it
to playing the flute...
220
00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:53,895
The more you practice,
the more you improve.
221
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:56,054
Aristotle
— that's my boy right there!
222
00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:59,474
He was the best. I mean,
most people agree he was the best one.
223
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:04,437
So it sounds to me like you are
on board the “help Eleanor train.”
224
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:07,440
Well, I've narrowed it down
to two possibilities — yes and no.
225
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:11,611
Well, no worries — just hit me up
226
00:10:11,653 --> 00:10:14,155
when you're done
weighing my life in your hands.
227
00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:18,243
I'll just keep doing what I do best —
Being super—considerate and selfless.
228
00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:20,578
She sighs
229
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:23,164
hey, guys.
— okay, Eleanor, reminder...
230
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:25,166
We switched to a rotating system
231
00:10:25,208 --> 00:10:28,253
for choosing a designated driver
and it's your turn.
232
00:10:28,419 --> 00:10:29,419
Got it.
233
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:32,674
Full disclosure — I forgot
we were doing this new system.
234
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:33,967
I got off work early.
235
00:10:34,008 --> 00:10:37,387
I've been here for about an hour
and I'm already pretty drunk.
236
00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:40,390
Someone else will do it.
— good call.
237
00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:43,560
I guess the only place I'll be driving
is through the giant loophole
238
00:10:43,601 --> 00:10:46,396
in the system I accidentally discovered.
239
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:48,731
Beep, beep! Shelaughs
240
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:51,733
whoo!
241
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:55,363
All: Whoo!
242
00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:58,324
I can't believe they managed
to mix one million flavours together
243
00:10:58,366 --> 00:11:01,119
and yet, somehow I can taste
each individual one.
244
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,287
It's remarkable.
245
00:11:02,704 --> 00:11:03,955
I got no flavour.
246
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,875
It's all I deserve really. — no.
247
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:09,210
Look, I... I appreciate
you trying to cheer me up
248
00:11:09,252 --> 00:11:11,254
I really do,
but you don't understand...
249
00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:14,799
This was the very first neighbourhood
that I got to design.
250
00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:18,136
It was my chance to prove myself
and now I've blown it.
251
00:11:18,178 --> 00:11:21,347
You know, sometimes a flaw
can make something even more beautiful...
252
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,391
Like with Cindy Crawford
and how short she is.
253
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:27,145
Oh, tahani, if I made
one tiny mistake in my design
254
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,355
if there's a single glitch
in the system
255
00:11:29,731 --> 00:11:33,860
if even one blade of grass
is angled a fraction of a degree off...
256
00:11:35,361 --> 00:11:36,404
Dog whines
257
00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:40,366
the whole neighbourhood is...
Compromised.
258
00:11:41,159 --> 00:11:44,662
Whose dog is that?
Guys, whose dog is that?
259
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:46,998
Whose dog is that!
260
00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:51,044
See, this is one of those glitches
I was talking about.
261
00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:53,046
Nice try, puppy.
262
00:11:54,339 --> 00:11:56,049
Dog barks
263
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:01,887
dog barks —poof
264
00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:03,848
whoo! He laughs
265
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:04,974
that was a close one.
266
00:12:05,475 --> 00:12:06,475
Teacup?
267
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,188
Hey, have you seen my dog?
268
00:12:14,108 --> 00:12:15,108
She grunts
269
00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:20,156
she gasps
shouldn't these be magical trash bags?
270
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,243
Five more minutes,
flyers, five more minutes.
271
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:24,702
Oh, man, really?
272
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:36,714
Janet, I'm finished with clean up
and I'm ready to fly.
273
00:12:36,923 --> 00:12:38,508
How do I start?
— hop on the launch pad
274
00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:41,219
and conjure
an image that brings you pure joy.
275
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:44,430
Some people think of their wedding
day or favourite vacation spot.
276
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:47,183
She sighs
— people puking on rollercoasters.
277
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:50,228
People puking on rollercoasters.
278
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,605
She gasps and laughs
it's working!
279
00:12:53,106 --> 00:12:55,024
Ow! What the fork?
280
00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:56,693
Thunder cracks
281
00:12:58,528 --> 00:13:02,490
Janet, any chance this is
a scheduled trash storm?
282
00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:06,119
So, here's the situation, pevita...
283
00:13:06,953 --> 00:13:09,372
I kind of kicked your dog into the sun.
284
00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:11,582
But, I got her back.
— dog whines
285
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:14,294
everything... everything seems fine.
286
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:17,088
Teacup, thank goodness you're okay.
287
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:20,425
Everyone, it is merely
a construct of a dog.
288
00:13:20,466 --> 00:13:23,428
It feels no pain or joy or love.
289
00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:25,263
Teacup doesn't love me?
290
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:30,143
Oh! Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
it definitely feels love.
291
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:32,871
Do you actually want a dog
that loves you a little bit more?
292
00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:34,581
Because I can kick her
right back into the sun
293
00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:35,833
and get you another one, just like that.
294
00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:38,526
No!
— oh, boy, I'm making things worse.
295
00:13:38,568 --> 00:13:41,288
Okay. All right... that's all right,
breathe, breathe... you breathe?
296
00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,114
Mm—hmm.
— If you do, then just breathe
297
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:45,533
because everything is fine,
Michael, it's fine.
298
00:13:45,575 --> 00:13:46,575
Whoo!
299
00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:49,579
Pevita: It's raining garbage.
300
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:50,620
Run!
301
00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:53,499
Whoa, whoa, whoa, I'll run this way.
302
00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:01,674
Chidi, hey
303
00:14:01,716 --> 00:14:02,842
before you say anything...
304
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:06,655
That's it.
I just don't want you to say anything.
305
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,473
What did you do? — nothing.
306
00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:12,894
It just started raining trash
out of nowhere for no reason at all.
307
00:14:13,061 --> 00:14:14,061
Thunder cracks — ah!
308
00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:18,524
Okay, fine, fine — my bag broke
and I ditched the trash
309
00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:20,169
instead of taking it all the way
to the dumpster.
310
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:23,654
But, in my defence
there were only five minutes left
311
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,531
in flying and I wanted to go flying.
312
00:14:25,573 --> 00:14:28,201
How is that a defence?
You made a bad choice.
313
00:14:28,242 --> 00:14:29,410
I made a bad choice?
314
00:14:29,452 --> 00:14:31,788
We could have literally been flying
315
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:34,040
and all you wanted to do
was talk about morals.
316
00:14:34,290 --> 00:14:36,626
I mean, you're like
the worst part of Superman.
317
00:14:36,918 --> 00:14:39,420
This is a relief.
I can stop my deliberations.
318
00:14:39,629 --> 00:14:42,465
You are a selfish person
and it is pointless to help you.
319
00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:44,425
You are on your own.
— Antonio: Oh, man.
320
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:49,263
How about this trash storm, Gunnar?
— more cleaning up to do.
321
00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:50,973
It's a... it's a dream come true.
322
00:14:51,015 --> 00:14:52,558
Crash — she gasps
323
00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,605
whew. — we're okay.
324
00:14:58,398 --> 00:14:59,399
You can't die here.
325
00:14:59,732 --> 00:15:02,944
Come on, I mean even you have
to admit — those guys are psycho.
326
00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:08,008
Michael: I don't know
what's happening to me.
327
00:15:08,032 --> 00:15:12,912
I mean, it's my duty to be calm
and in control and I'm falling apart.
328
00:15:12,954 --> 00:15:16,207
No, Michael,
you are a paragon of fortitude.
329
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:17,959
You're a mountain of strength.
330
00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:20,753
I'm not a mountain of strength.
331
00:15:21,504 --> 00:15:22,672
I'm a canyon
332
00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:26,092
full of poo—poo. He sobs
333
00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:29,971
jianyu, the architect of this neighbourhood
has just referred to himself
334
00:15:30,012 --> 00:15:32,348
as a canyon full of poo—poo.
335
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:34,684
Surely now
you will say something.
336
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:36,185
Grace us
with your vocalised wisdom.
337
00:15:36,227 --> 00:15:37,770
Please, I'm begging you.
338
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,076
He breathes deeply oh...
339
00:15:55,496 --> 00:15:57,582
Yes, yes I understand.
340
00:15:58,332 --> 00:15:59,750
The strength is inside me.
341
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:01,711
It's been there all along.
342
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:04,881
No, of course.
I can overcome any obstacle.
343
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,633
Oh, thank you, jianyu,
thank you.
344
00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:12,763
He laughs — I'm back.
345
00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:17,476
You did it!
346
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,188
Oh, you have so much to teach me.
347
00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:22,315
Maybe I should try
to be silent, too.
348
00:16:22,607 --> 00:16:24,775
No really... look, here I go.
349
00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,447
Oh! That was wonderful.
350
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:30,615
So cleansing.
351
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,081
They laugh
352
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:41,375
just water tonight, huh?
353
00:16:42,126 --> 00:16:44,670
Designated driver?
— yeah, it sucks.
354
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:47,131
I think it's awesome.
I mean, someone's got to do it, right?
355
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:49,437
I think it's a cool thing
to do for people.
356
00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:51,802
Yeah, no, no, I meant...
357
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:55,848
I meant I... it sucks that I can't
do it more often.
358
00:16:55,890 --> 00:16:58,059
You know,
I actually prefer it to drinking...
359
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:01,687
Staying sober, knowing my friends
will get home safe...
360
00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:03,856
That's my buzz.
361
00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:09,612
Hey guys, good news and bad news...
362
00:17:09,946 --> 00:17:11,822
See that hot bartender over there?
363
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:14,075
He's into me
and we're gonna bang it out.
364
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:16,619
The bad news is it means
I can't drive you guys home.
365
00:17:16,827 --> 00:17:19,664
But, I did call a cab for you guys
366
00:17:19,705 --> 00:17:22,416
but they recognised my number
and they didn't want to come.
367
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,377
I've thrown up in a lot of cabs.
368
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:26,420
So, are we good here?
369
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:29,966
Eleanor, you have
a very important choice to make...
370
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:35,012
If you blow us off, you are banned
from Thursday night drinks forever.
371
00:17:38,224 --> 00:17:40,434
Yeah, I'm good with that.
I'll see you guys at work.
372
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,560
Peace!
373
00:17:41,769 --> 00:17:42,812
You — let's go.
374
00:17:45,273 --> 00:17:46,315
She sighs
375
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,619
Hey, how did you know
I was here?
376
00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:00,246
I saw you from my window.
377
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:04,166
That's where I live, by the way...
Not that you ever asked.
378
00:18:05,501 --> 00:18:06,502
What are you doing?
379
00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:11,841
I went to all the places
where I dumped trash earlier
380
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:14,385
and cleaned it up
so it couldn't be traced back to me.
381
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,722
Well, it looks like
you cleaned up everything.
382
00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:20,912
You're doing this
because you feel bad
383
00:18:21,726 --> 00:18:23,537
and you're not even doing it
to get me to help you anymore
384
00:18:23,561 --> 00:18:25,521
because I told you,
that's not gonna happen.
385
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:29,317
Okay, yeah, fine,
I felt bad for stupid Gunnar
386
00:18:29,358 --> 00:18:32,153
and stupider Antonio
and the whole neighbourhood.
387
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:33,738
I felt bad about what I did.
388
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:37,158
It was a weird feeling...
Not used to it... didn't love it.
389
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:40,911
Well, feeling remorse
about being wrong isn't as good
390
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:43,456
as just doing something right,
but it's a start.
391
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:46,500
Look, I think you're capable of change
392
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:49,920
and I will help you try.
393
00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:53,341
Oh, wow, man —
I swear I won't let you down.
394
00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:56,474
Hi, there. I've collected the worst
smelling garbage that I could find.
395
00:18:56,844 --> 00:18:59,263
Do you still want me
to dump it inside of Antonio's house?
396
00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:01,766
In a high pitch what?
397
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:04,435
No, I did not tell you to do that.
398
00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:06,187
You are loco girlfriend.
399
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,356
Okay, I won't let you down
starting now.
400
00:19:15,696 --> 00:19:17,448
Ah, Eleanor, good morning.
401
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:20,076
Michael, do you know
what the best part about this place is...
402
00:19:20,117 --> 00:19:22,036
You figured out
how to make a to—go cup
403
00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:24,789
that doesn't leak
right where the seam meets the lid.
404
00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:26,624
Oh, I'm so glad you noticed.
405
00:19:26,666 --> 00:19:27,792
I was very proud of that.
406
00:19:27,833 --> 00:19:29,669
One of the hardest problems
I had to solve.
407
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:33,339
Eleanor, I know what you did...
408
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,301
Cleaning up the entire neighbourhood
by yourself.
409
00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:38,761
He laughs
410
00:19:38,803 --> 00:19:41,347
I knew you were special
but this is proof.
411
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:44,016
Well, I was just doing my part,
you know.
412
00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:47,311
And... since I'm special —
Your words...
413
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,271
I didn't get to fly...
414
00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:52,608
I'm sorry. Now I had to ban flying
for a thousand years
415
00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:53,734
too many injuries.
416
00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:58,781
One resident hit a rotting Turkey carcass
at a thousand miles an hour.
417
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:04,829
It just exploded into this fireball
of Turkey flesh and bones and sinew.
418
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:10,835
Anyway, enjoy your coffee...
And the cup.
419
00:20:13,838 --> 00:20:18,384
So, I have moved out of my apartment
officially and into your guestroom
420
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:21,220
figured it'd cause less suspicion
and make things easier
421
00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:22,447
for our "good person lessons."
422
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:25,558
Cool. Uh, just fyi, I'm a very loud snorer
423
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:29,270
and I like to drip—dry in the nude,
so eyes to yourself, perv.
424
00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:30,396
Okay. Fine.
425
00:20:30,438 --> 00:20:33,566
Now, you got a long way to go
to pull this off.
426
00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:37,027
It will take hours and hours
of studying ethics
427
00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:38,195
and moral philosophy.
428
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:42,825
We're going to have assignments
and quizzes and papers.
429
00:20:42,867 --> 00:20:44,869
It's going to be so much fun.
430
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:47,004
Remind me
what I'm getting out of this again?
431
00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:49,039
You get to avoid eternal damnation.
432
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:50,541
Oh, yeah, right.
433
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:53,002
Hey, I got you a present.
434
00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:55,337
What? — Senegal.
435
00:20:56,088 --> 00:20:58,257
That's not a present.
That's just common decency.
436
00:20:58,299 --> 00:21:00,134
Yeah, but I forking nailed it.
437
00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:02,427
Good talk.
438
00:21:21,447 --> 00:21:23,240
Aw, shirt!
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