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00:00:04,004 --> 00:00:07,706
CBS presents this
program in color.
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00:00:58,925 --> 00:01:00,102
Into the barracks, everybody!
3
00:01:00,126 --> 00:01:01,504
Into the barracks, everybody!
4
00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:03,173
Into the barracks,
schnell, schnell, schnell!
5
00:01:03,197 --> 00:01:05,697
Schnell, schnell, schnell
schnell, schnell, schnell!
6
00:01:05,765 --> 00:01:07,177
All right, schnell, schnell.
7
00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:09,045
Get into the barracks,
and all of you,
8
00:01:09,069 --> 00:01:12,137
you stay in here; order
of the commandant.
9
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:13,504
Nobody leaves the barracks.
10
00:01:13,573 --> 00:01:14,873
All right, now, Schultzy.
11
00:01:23,383 --> 00:01:24,482
Uh-oh.
12
00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:26,151
Uh-oh.
13
00:01:26,220 --> 00:01:27,485
Well, what is it?
14
00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:30,488
Here's the reason
we are all confined.
15
00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:32,157
Well, what's happening?
16
00:01:32,226 --> 00:01:34,692
It's a kraut general
with a bunch of medals.
17
00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,494
Anybody with him?
18
00:01:36,563 --> 00:01:37,807
LeBEAU: I can't see.
19
00:01:37,831 --> 00:01:39,164
Klink's all excited.
20
00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:40,810
What are they doing?
21
00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:42,554
LeBEAU: They're dancing.
22
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,169
Hansi!
23
00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:45,570
Putzi!
24
00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:49,274
And now you are a general?
25
00:01:49,343 --> 00:01:51,703
And you are still a colonel.
26
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:57,515
And now they're
going into Klink's office.
27
00:01:57,584 --> 00:01:59,851
I'd better get the colonel.
28
00:02:01,454 --> 00:02:02,520
Oh, Colonel,
29
00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:04,834
there's a kraut general outside.
30
00:02:04,858 --> 00:02:06,457
That's the trouble
with prison camps.
31
00:02:06,526 --> 00:02:08,793
You never have a
minute just to do nothing.
32
00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:11,196
Get the intercom working, huh?
33
00:02:11,265 --> 00:02:12,797
Come in, my dear Stofle!
34
00:02:12,866 --> 00:02:14,146
Come in, come in!
35
00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:15,778
On the phone you mentioned
36
00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:18,336
something about a
beautiful Rhine maiden.
37
00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:19,871
Ah...
38
00:02:21,875 --> 00:02:23,474
Asleep in the back of my car.
39
00:02:23,543 --> 00:02:25,476
Oh, oh, really?
40
00:02:25,545 --> 00:02:29,080
You were always the wild one.
41
00:02:32,552 --> 00:02:33,552
All set, Colonel.
42
00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:34,786
Good.
43
00:02:34,854 --> 00:02:37,855
To General Stofle,
the great tactician
44
00:02:37,924 --> 00:02:40,492
of the Afrika Korps, my guest.
45
00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,827
To my old classmate
at university,
46
00:02:42,896 --> 00:02:47,632
then two grades ahead of
me, now two grades behind.
47
00:02:49,303 --> 00:02:51,614
I shall never forget
what you gave me...
48
00:02:51,638 --> 00:02:53,237
My dueling scar.
49
00:02:53,307 --> 00:02:56,574
Ah, it was my pleasure.
50
00:02:56,643 --> 00:03:00,578
Ooh, I could use a man like you.
51
00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:02,447
We could be a team again.
52
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:03,715
A team.
53
00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:06,050
Side by side in combat.
54
00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:07,786
The smell of gunpowder.
55
00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,454
The roar of cannons.
56
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:11,167
There is nothing
I would like better,
57
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:15,126
but, then, I cannot
shirk my duty here,
58
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:19,297
and my iron hand is needed
to control these prisoners.
59
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:22,600
Of course, Putzi.
60
00:03:22,669 --> 00:03:25,970
A little more cognac, Hansi?
61
00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,472
Ja, ja, ja.
62
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:28,918
Now, I have arranged
63
00:03:28,942 --> 00:03:31,354
a luncheon at
the officer's club...
64
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:33,589
Oh, just simple soldier's fare.
65
00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:36,981
A little relaxation
before returning to battle.
66
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:40,051
What do you know about
my returning to battle?
67
00:03:40,119 --> 00:03:44,656
Nothing. No one even knows
that you are here, Hansi.
68
00:03:44,725 --> 00:03:47,225
Good. No one must know.
69
00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:51,295
I would wager the success
of your next campaign on that.
70
00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:55,900
The Allies would give anything,
Putzi, to know where I am,
71
00:03:55,969 --> 00:03:58,836
But how could they
possibly find out?
72
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:00,185
It's simple.
73
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:03,141
Kinch, radio
London and tell them.
74
00:04:15,705 --> 00:04:17,217
Most interesting guest
75
00:04:17,241 --> 00:04:18,440
you have there.
76
00:04:18,509 --> 00:04:21,109
We have a date with his
boys at dawn tomorrow
77
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:23,111
out in the good old desert.
78
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:26,981
Could be an awfully good
show for us if he doesn't make it.
79
00:04:27,050 --> 00:04:29,651
I take it you want
us to keep him here.
80
00:04:29,719 --> 00:04:31,986
I do like the way
your mind works.
81
00:04:32,055 --> 00:04:34,122
Just for 24 hours or so.
82
00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:35,790
Just for 24 hours.
83
00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:38,326
Got any suggestions how?
84
00:04:38,395 --> 00:04:40,462
That is a sticky wicket,
85
00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:42,664
but do give it a
whirl, old chaps.
86
00:04:42,732 --> 00:04:43,998
Over and out.
87
00:04:44,067 --> 00:04:45,267
Over and out.
88
00:04:47,271 --> 00:04:49,804
How are we supposed to
kidnap a German general?
89
00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:53,141
Do give it a whirl, old chaps.
90
00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:57,279
Uh-oh. Colonel, he's
sleeping in the back of his car.
91
00:04:57,347 --> 00:04:58,996
The general? Why
would the commander
92
00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:00,632
of the Afrika Korps
be doing that?
93
00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,117
Germans.
94
00:05:02,186 --> 00:05:04,463
A bottle of wine for lunch,
and they can't stay awake.
95
00:05:04,487 --> 00:05:06,288
All right, London
wants us to delay him
96
00:05:06,356 --> 00:05:08,401
till after the offensive...
Let's take him.
97
00:05:08,425 --> 00:05:09,757
How?
98
00:05:09,827 --> 00:05:11,004
Good afternoon, General.
99
00:05:11,028 --> 00:05:12,205
I'm the senior POW officer.
100
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:13,739
Colonel Klink
asked me to take you
101
00:05:13,763 --> 00:05:15,474
on an inspection
tour of the barracks.
102
00:05:15,498 --> 00:05:16,564
Then what?
103
00:05:16,633 --> 00:05:17,877
Once in the barracks, we get him
104
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:19,813
into the tunnel and to
England for the duration.
105
00:05:19,837 --> 00:05:21,303
Colonel? Mm-hmm.
106
00:05:21,371 --> 00:05:24,105
You sure that's a good plan?
107
00:05:24,174 --> 00:05:26,975
You have a better one?
108
00:05:27,044 --> 00:05:29,577
Good plan. Good plan.
109
00:05:29,646 --> 00:05:30,979
Newkirk. Carter.
110
00:05:31,048 --> 00:05:31,980
Yes, sir.
111
00:05:32,049 --> 00:05:33,248
Diversion.
112
00:05:36,186 --> 00:05:37,452
Schultz.
113
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:38,453
Come here a minute.
114
00:05:38,521 --> 00:05:39,454
Come on. Come on in.
115
00:05:39,522 --> 00:05:40,455
Come in. What?
116
00:05:40,523 --> 00:05:42,790
We want to see you. Come on in.
117
00:05:42,860 --> 00:05:44,003
What is it? What do you want?
118
00:05:44,027 --> 00:05:44,792
We want you to
settle an argument.
119
00:05:44,862 --> 00:05:45,862
What?
120
00:05:45,929 --> 00:05:47,640
I bet Newkirk I could guess
121
00:05:47,664 --> 00:05:48,808
how much you weigh.
122
00:05:48,832 --> 00:05:50,643
That's all you
guys have to do...
123
00:05:50,667 --> 00:05:52,868
Listen to him.
124
00:05:56,073 --> 00:05:57,205
Don't do that.
125
00:05:57,274 --> 00:05:58,406
Well?
126
00:05:58,475 --> 00:06:01,943
Well, I estimate 250
pounds. Am I right?
127
00:06:02,012 --> 00:06:05,413
I say nothing. Nothing.
128
00:06:05,482 --> 00:06:06,814
May I?
129
00:06:09,686 --> 00:06:10,785
He's 300 if he's a pound.
130
00:06:10,854 --> 00:06:12,332
That's a terrible thing to say.
131
00:06:12,356 --> 00:06:13,688
What do you weigh?
132
00:06:13,757 --> 00:06:17,625
295, but it's still a very
terrible thing to say.
133
00:06:23,850 --> 00:06:25,683
Hello.
134
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,285
Hello.
135
00:06:28,354 --> 00:06:30,232
Sorry, miss, I didn't
know this cab was taken.
136
00:06:33,660 --> 00:06:34,942
Follow me.
137
00:06:35,011 --> 00:06:37,345
Excuse us, miss,
just passing through.
138
00:06:41,518 --> 00:06:42,798
A Gestapo major?
139
00:06:42,852 --> 00:06:44,497
Well, what is it all about?
140
00:06:44,521 --> 00:06:47,622
Of course, let him
in. Anything he wants.
141
00:06:47,691 --> 00:06:48,790
Why are they here?
142
00:06:48,858 --> 00:06:50,625
Who knows?
143
00:06:50,694 --> 00:06:52,460
Mm... might be awkward.
144
00:06:52,529 --> 00:06:55,497
You know how they twist things.
145
00:07:01,137 --> 00:07:03,115
Hansi... I know,
I know, I know...
146
00:07:03,139 --> 00:07:04,406
Oh, how delightful!
147
00:07:04,474 --> 00:07:06,286
Klink, you have
private quarters here?
148
00:07:06,310 --> 00:07:09,243
Of course, of course, through
this door straight ahead.
149
00:07:09,313 --> 00:07:11,379
Mm.
150
00:07:24,494 --> 00:07:27,495
Unload the equipment.
151
00:07:39,409 --> 00:07:41,276
Colonel Hogan, senior officer
152
00:07:41,345 --> 00:07:42,777
of the prisoners
of war, reporting.
153
00:07:42,846 --> 00:07:46,114
So? And may I say how glad
we are to see you here, sir?
154
00:07:46,183 --> 00:07:47,782
You see, we have
many grievances,
155
00:07:47,851 --> 00:07:50,118
and with the Gestapo's
reputation for fairness
156
00:07:50,187 --> 00:07:52,120
and generosity,
we were, um, uh...
157
00:07:52,189 --> 00:07:53,788
Welcome to Stalag 13.
158
00:07:53,857 --> 00:07:55,623
I'm so happy to...
159
00:07:55,692 --> 00:07:57,170
What are you doing here?
160
00:07:57,194 --> 00:07:59,005
I confined all prisoners
to the barracks.
161
00:07:59,029 --> 00:08:00,573
And why was that, Colonel Klink?
162
00:08:00,597 --> 00:08:01,896
Well, it-it-it, um...
163
00:08:01,965 --> 00:08:04,565
Yeah, I've been meaning to
ask why myself, Commandant.
164
00:08:04,634 --> 00:08:06,612
Discipline, huh, discipline.
165
00:08:06,636 --> 00:08:08,569
Sir, I run a hard camp.
166
00:08:08,638 --> 00:08:10,950
Sir, you should have let me
know that you were coming.
167
00:08:10,974 --> 00:08:12,907
Oh, the Gestapo warns no one.
168
00:08:12,976 --> 00:08:15,076
I am Major Zolle,
Commandant Klink,
169
00:08:15,145 --> 00:08:18,746
and I assure you, I know
all about you and your camp.
170
00:08:18,815 --> 00:08:20,460
I will come right to the point.
171
00:08:20,484 --> 00:08:23,918
There is something
strange about this camp.
172
00:08:23,987 --> 00:08:25,131
Strange, sir?
173
00:08:25,155 --> 00:08:26,966
Not one complaint from Berlin.
174
00:08:26,990 --> 00:08:28,256
Why do they not complain?
175
00:08:28,325 --> 00:08:29,605
Because Berlin...
176
00:08:29,659 --> 00:08:31,926
Because Berlin
cannot be trusted either.
177
00:08:31,995 --> 00:08:33,606
Berlin cannot be trusted?
178
00:08:33,630 --> 00:08:34,874
What about General Burkhalter?
179
00:08:34,898 --> 00:08:38,199
What about General Burkhalter?
180
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:40,502
He personally
commended Stalag 13.
181
00:08:40,570 --> 00:08:42,648
No incidents, no escapes...
182
00:08:42,672 --> 00:08:45,106
Perhaps General
Burkhalter cannot be trusted.
183
00:08:45,175 --> 00:08:46,408
What do you say to that?
184
00:08:46,476 --> 00:08:48,843
General Burkhalter?
185
00:08:48,912 --> 00:08:50,445
I trust no one.
186
00:08:50,514 --> 00:08:52,780
Not you. Not my mother.
187
00:08:52,849 --> 00:08:54,249
Not your mother?
188
00:08:54,317 --> 00:08:57,619
Sir, I assure you, I
run a model camp.
189
00:08:57,687 --> 00:09:00,288
We will find something
wrong, believe me.
190
00:09:00,356 --> 00:09:05,727
I always say if a thing
sounds too perfect, watch out.
191
00:09:05,812 --> 00:09:07,812
Come.
192
00:09:12,485 --> 00:09:15,420
Kommandant Klink,
please, Herr Kommandant.
193
00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,466
I have apprehended Colonel Hogan
194
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:20,803
to be absent from the
barracks without official orders.
195
00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:24,329
Schultz, not now.
196
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:28,599
What did I say?
197
00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:32,337
Schultz, you're too perfect.
198
00:09:35,875 --> 00:09:39,093
And this, Colonel Klink, is
a wireless listening device
199
00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:41,496
perfected by my department.
200
00:09:41,565 --> 00:09:42,964
Very interesting.
201
00:09:43,032 --> 00:09:45,812
My prisoners are
much too broken in spirit
202
00:09:45,836 --> 00:09:47,101
to require such measures.
203
00:09:47,170 --> 00:09:48,302
Definitely.
204
00:09:48,371 --> 00:09:49,771
So we shall see.
205
00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:53,975
This can hear a mouse's
heartbeat at a hundred paces.
206
00:09:54,043 --> 00:09:55,943
I run a clean camp, sir.
207
00:09:56,012 --> 00:09:58,980
We have no mice here.
208
00:09:59,048 --> 00:10:04,285
It can also detect the sound
of men working in tunnels.
209
00:10:04,371 --> 00:10:05,636
Amazing.
210
00:10:05,705 --> 00:10:06,971
We may do a little digging
211
00:10:07,039 --> 00:10:10,575
to see if it works
when I get back.
212
00:10:10,643 --> 00:10:15,246
This casts a beam so
powerful, it can find a prisoner
213
00:10:15,314 --> 00:10:17,982
a thousand yards away.
214
00:10:18,050 --> 00:10:23,053
Sir, my prisoners are
never that far away.
215
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:27,375
Weighted, it can
crack a skull like this.
216
00:10:30,981 --> 00:10:35,016
I see you find discipline
distasteful, eh, Kommandant?
217
00:10:35,084 --> 00:10:37,818
I shall put that in my report.
218
00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:41,022
Sir, I admire discipline.
219
00:10:41,090 --> 00:10:42,490
How fortunate...
220
00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:45,826
in case you should ever
be on the receiving end.
221
00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:49,898
Come.
222
00:10:57,908 --> 00:10:59,774
Don't worry, Colonel,
there's not a chance
223
00:10:59,843 --> 00:11:01,943
in the world they'll find
what they're looking for.
224
00:11:02,012 --> 00:11:03,489
What are they looking for?
225
00:11:03,513 --> 00:11:05,880
You mean you don't know
about the general's girlfriend?
226
00:11:05,949 --> 00:11:08,516
What about her?
227
00:11:10,353 --> 00:11:12,665
How do you know
about the general?
228
00:11:12,689 --> 00:11:15,623
There is no general here.
229
00:11:15,692 --> 00:11:17,904
What do you know
about his girlfriend?
230
00:11:17,928 --> 00:11:20,127
I thought you'd recognize
her from the pictures.
231
00:11:20,196 --> 00:11:21,529
Pictures?
232
00:11:21,598 --> 00:11:23,910
Must you always talk in riddles?
233
00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:25,800
You have to really
hand it to General Stofle.
234
00:11:25,869 --> 00:11:28,302
I mean, he may be a
fool, but he's got guts.
235
00:11:28,371 --> 00:11:30,516
What are you talking about?
236
00:11:30,540 --> 00:11:33,140
Well...
237
00:11:33,209 --> 00:11:34,475
Sorry, sir.
238
00:11:34,544 --> 00:11:36,978
It's just that the girl has
been seen constantly
239
00:11:37,047 --> 00:11:38,479
with Himmler, that's all.
240
00:11:38,548 --> 00:11:40,481
Himmler, the Gestapo?
241
00:11:40,550 --> 00:11:43,317
Now I know why they are here.
242
00:11:43,386 --> 00:11:45,197
Feeling all right, Colonel?
243
00:11:45,221 --> 00:11:46,988
What am I to do?
244
00:11:47,057 --> 00:11:49,201
Well, one thing's for sure:
245
00:11:49,225 --> 00:11:52,605
we mustn't let Stofle take the
bit in his teeth and leave too soon.
246
00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:53,873
You know what that would mean.
247
00:11:53,897 --> 00:11:56,330
Of course, of course!
248
00:11:56,399 --> 00:11:57,331
What would it mean?
249
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,166
Shooting. Shooting?
250
00:11:59,235 --> 00:12:00,501
Well, you know how Stofle is.
251
00:12:00,570 --> 00:12:02,481
Who knows better than I?
252
00:12:02,505 --> 00:12:04,271
Didn't he give me this scar?
253
00:12:04,340 --> 00:12:07,241
At the university,
we were inseparable.
254
00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:09,644
And as his best friend,
you'd be implicated.
255
00:12:09,713 --> 00:12:12,146
I hardly know him.
256
00:12:12,215 --> 00:12:13,843
So, the best thing to do is, uh,
257
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:15,544
keep him entertained
in your quarters.
258
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:17,902
Entertained... in my quarters.
259
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:19,636
The best of food and wine.
260
00:12:19,705 --> 00:12:21,805
I was thinking of my man LeBeau.
261
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,574
French. Most discreet.
262
00:12:23,642 --> 00:12:26,143
LeBeau. I shall give the order.
263
00:12:26,212 --> 00:12:28,296
Uh, I guess that
takes care of things.
264
00:12:28,365 --> 00:12:31,966
Colonel Hogan, although we've
had our differences in the past,
265
00:12:32,034 --> 00:12:35,013
and since our uniforms do
not permit us to be friends,
266
00:12:35,037 --> 00:12:38,139
still... my quarters?
267
00:12:38,207 --> 00:12:41,520
The Gestapo will find
them both in my quarters.
268
00:12:41,544 --> 00:12:43,811
Colonel, I like the way
you see through problems.
269
00:12:43,880 --> 00:12:45,647
What can we do?
270
00:12:45,715 --> 00:12:48,316
Well, we've got to keep the
Gestapo busy somewhere else.
271
00:12:48,385 --> 00:12:49,984
They must not come
near your quarters.
272
00:12:50,052 --> 00:12:52,320
It will never work.
273
00:12:52,389 --> 00:12:55,657
Colonel Hogan, it must work.
274
00:12:55,725 --> 00:12:57,825
Colonel, please.
275
00:12:57,894 --> 00:13:01,829
The uniform has to
last me for the duration.
276
00:13:10,357 --> 00:13:14,292
Men, it is up to you.
277
00:13:14,361 --> 00:13:17,462
You, Gunther, go with
Steiner to the warehouse,
278
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:19,570
and do not hesitate
to use your torches.
279
00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:21,377
Jawohl! Jawohl, Major!
280
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:22,817
You, there...
281
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:24,785
What is your name?
282
00:13:24,854 --> 00:13:29,123
It is Sergeant Schultz, um,
awaiting your orders, Major.
283
00:13:29,191 --> 00:13:31,837
I assume you know about
wireless radio, correct?
284
00:13:31,861 --> 00:13:35,963
Wireless... radio...
Of course, Major!
285
00:13:36,032 --> 00:13:40,034
Good. Remember, we must
show these Allied prisoners
286
00:13:40,102 --> 00:13:42,036
how we will win the war.
287
00:13:42,104 --> 00:13:44,471
Jawohl, Major.
288
00:13:44,541 --> 00:13:47,475
You seem to be very
nervous, Herr Klink.
289
00:13:47,544 --> 00:13:48,976
Me, nervous?
290
00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:50,811
Why should I be nervous?
291
00:13:50,880 --> 00:13:53,648
That's a good question.
292
00:13:53,716 --> 00:13:55,383
Follow me.
293
00:14:01,658 --> 00:14:03,135
Aw, Schultz, here, here.
294
00:14:03,159 --> 00:14:05,926
Let me help you, Schultz.
295
00:14:05,995 --> 00:14:09,763
Please! Please, Colonel
Hogan, don't think of helping me.
296
00:14:09,832 --> 00:14:11,265
Schultz!
297
00:14:11,334 --> 00:14:13,501
Jawohl, Herr Major!
298
00:14:18,575 --> 00:14:20,786
This is a foolproof
instrument, Schultz.
299
00:14:20,810 --> 00:14:23,444
If there is a tunnel under
the ground anywhere,
300
00:14:23,513 --> 00:14:24,945
it will tell us.
301
00:14:25,014 --> 00:14:26,447
Jawohl, Major.
302
00:14:26,516 --> 00:14:29,783
Another example of
German scientific supremacy.
303
00:14:29,852 --> 00:14:33,020
We are a remarkable
people, Major.
304
00:14:34,156 --> 00:14:37,458
Ah! I told you, Schultz. There!
305
00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,323
Major, I hit something.
306
00:14:52,392 --> 00:14:53,891
Give me that.
307
00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:57,811
Major...
308
00:14:57,880 --> 00:14:59,830
would you like me to dig?
309
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,265
No, Schultz.
310
00:15:01,334 --> 00:15:04,268
This is going to
be my little surprise.
311
00:15:04,337 --> 00:15:07,738
You may fire when
ready, Gridley.
312
00:15:24,857 --> 00:15:26,290
Mon General.
313
00:15:26,359 --> 00:15:28,292
Look, Hansi, real champagne!
314
00:15:28,361 --> 00:15:30,339
From the Commandant's
private cellar.
315
00:15:30,363 --> 00:15:32,674
Ah, he knows how
to live, this Klink.
316
00:15:32,698 --> 00:15:35,533
Not how to die, but how to live.
317
00:15:39,872 --> 00:15:41,872
Oh, that's beautiful.
318
00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:07,998
Mademoiselle.
319
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:11,169
Mon General.
320
00:16:34,343 --> 00:16:35,343
Here.
321
00:16:35,411 --> 00:16:37,778
What is that?
322
00:16:37,847 --> 00:16:39,714
I don't know.
323
00:16:39,782 --> 00:16:41,182
Some sort of vent.
324
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,584
Let's take a look.
325
00:16:43,652 --> 00:16:45,931
Do you want me
to hold your light?
326
00:16:45,955 --> 00:16:47,287
Yes.
327
00:16:47,356 --> 00:16:48,789
Give you a hand, Sergeant?
328
00:16:48,858 --> 00:16:49,790
Danke schon.
329
00:16:49,859 --> 00:16:50,791
Right. Pleasure.
330
00:16:50,860 --> 00:16:51,792
Thank you.
331
00:16:51,861 --> 00:16:53,293
Watch it now.
332
00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:05,405
Eh, where's the light?
333
00:17:05,474 --> 00:17:07,007
Come back here!
334
00:17:07,076 --> 00:17:08,153
Swine!
335
00:17:08,177 --> 00:17:11,078
What is happening?
336
00:17:17,653 --> 00:17:20,287
They did this.
337
00:17:20,356 --> 00:17:22,467
They stole our equipment!
338
00:17:22,491 --> 00:17:24,024
Quiet, you fool.
339
00:17:24,093 --> 00:17:25,425
If Zolle finds out,
340
00:17:25,494 --> 00:17:27,995
he'll send us to
the Russian front.
341
00:17:28,064 --> 00:17:31,031
What will we do?
342
00:17:31,100 --> 00:17:32,532
What can we do?
343
00:17:32,601 --> 00:17:34,068
Take it easy.
344
00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:36,603
After a while, we tell him
we didn't find anything.
345
00:17:40,943 --> 00:17:42,609
There it is, Schultz.
346
00:17:42,678 --> 00:17:43,922
Those loose boards.
347
00:17:43,946 --> 00:17:46,024
That is how they plan to escape.
348
00:17:46,048 --> 00:17:47,447
Jawohl, Major.
349
00:17:47,516 --> 00:17:49,716
Ja. Set up the ladder.
350
00:17:49,786 --> 00:17:51,618
Certainly.
351
00:17:54,723 --> 00:17:56,257
No, no, Schultz.
352
00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:57,691
No, I'll go.
353
00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:59,559
Take this.
354
00:17:59,628 --> 00:18:01,428
Give me that crowbar.
355
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,030
Right.
356
00:18:03,099 --> 00:18:07,434
If that fool, Klink, wants
evidence, I'll show him.
357
00:18:11,073 --> 00:18:12,840
What is that?
358
00:18:12,909 --> 00:18:14,708
It's from here.
359
00:18:14,777 --> 00:18:18,179
Somebody's prying up the floor.
360
00:18:18,247 --> 00:18:21,515
Must be a prisoner
trying to escape.
361
00:18:23,319 --> 00:18:25,497
Give me the monkey wrench.
362
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:27,721
They stole that, too.
363
00:18:30,125 --> 00:18:32,960
Here, I can use this.
364
00:18:33,028 --> 00:18:35,062
We can redeem ourselves.
365
00:18:35,130 --> 00:18:38,566
Now Major Zolle will
be very proud of us.
366
00:18:38,634 --> 00:18:40,000
Shh!
367
00:19:20,543 --> 00:19:21,492
General?
368
00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:22,727
Yes? What is it?
369
00:19:22,795 --> 00:19:24,629
Colonel Hogan, Senior
Prisoner of War Officer.
370
00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,397
Is the general ready
for lunch yet, sir?
371
00:19:26,466 --> 00:19:28,132
Forget the lunch!
372
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:29,467
Where's Klink?
373
00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:31,902
Have my car brought here.
I must leave immediately.
374
00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:33,415
Of course. Right away, sir.
375
00:19:33,439 --> 00:19:34,950
Uh, about the young lady...?
376
00:19:34,974 --> 00:19:37,541
Let her sleep. This
is what she does best.
377
00:19:37,610 --> 00:19:40,878
She could sleep
through an artillery drill!
378
00:19:40,946 --> 00:19:42,946
Yes, of course.
379
00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:51,188
Uh, just a minute.
380
00:19:51,257 --> 00:19:52,257
Sir?
381
00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:53,691
You recognize her?
382
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,426
Well, just from the pictures.
383
00:19:55,495 --> 00:19:56,761
What pictures?
384
00:19:56,829 --> 00:19:58,496
Well, you know
how it is in prison.
385
00:19:58,564 --> 00:19:59,797
We don't have much to do,
386
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:01,499
so we read all
your gossip sheets.
387
00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:03,233
Uh, they say he's
crazy about her.
388
00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:04,868
Who is crazy about her?
389
00:20:04,937 --> 00:20:07,204
What's his name? Uh,
it's on the tip of my tongue.
390
00:20:07,273 --> 00:20:08,651
Uh... Himmel,
Himmel... Something...
391
00:20:08,675 --> 00:20:10,286
Not Himmler. Himmler,
Himmler, that's it.
392
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:11,987
Himmler!? Yeah, well,
don't worry about it.
393
00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:13,322
You're leaving.
He'll never know.
394
00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:14,578
How can I leave?
395
00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:16,325
The place is
crawling with Gestapo.
396
00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:17,481
And now I see why!
397
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:19,016
Why didn't I think of that?
398
00:20:19,085 --> 00:20:20,651
That's why you're a general.
399
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,119
They'll be here any minute.
400
00:20:22,188 --> 00:20:24,054
Too bad you're not
in one of our uniforms.
401
00:20:24,123 --> 00:20:26,290
Then you'd be completely
anonymous, huh, LeBeau?
402
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:27,636
Oh, invisible.
403
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:29,660
Just a minute. Mm-hmm.
404
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,362
Suppose I were dressed like you.
405
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:33,497
How would that help
me get out of here?
406
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:34,898
Then no one would notice you.
407
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:37,248
You see, you get in the
back of Colonel Klink's car,
408
00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:39,381
you crouch down and
pfft, right out the gate.
409
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:40,504
Get me an American uniform.
410
00:20:40,573 --> 00:20:41,717
How would we do that?
411
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:42,884
I don't know how, just do it!
412
00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:44,052
If you say so.
413
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,220
LeBeau?
414
00:20:45,244 --> 00:20:46,510
Size 44 regular.
415
00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,512
Coming up, mon general.
416
00:20:48,581 --> 00:20:50,514
Oh, uh, General? Huh?
417
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,182
Would you care for cuffs?
418
00:20:55,355 --> 00:21:00,023
I assure you prisoners,
this comedy is over.
419
00:21:01,393 --> 00:21:04,439
Do you want to tell me about it,
420
00:21:04,463 --> 00:21:08,165
or will I be forced
to drag it out of you?
421
00:21:08,234 --> 00:21:10,968
Very well, no one will speak?
422
00:21:11,036 --> 00:21:15,038
I shall question
you more closely.
423
00:21:19,061 --> 00:21:21,528
Schultz.
424
00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:26,700
Schultz?
425
00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:30,137
He's too smart, Schultz.
426
00:21:30,205 --> 00:21:31,639
He's going to find out about it.
427
00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:32,851
Find out what?
428
00:21:32,875 --> 00:21:34,141
About the defector.
429
00:21:34,209 --> 00:21:35,489
What defector?
430
00:21:35,544 --> 00:21:38,846
The one trying to escape
in the back of Klink's car.
431
00:21:38,914 --> 00:21:40,192
He'll never make it anyway.
432
00:21:40,216 --> 00:21:41,816
Why should he get
all of us into trouble?
433
00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:44,168
Go get him, tiger.
434
00:21:46,806 --> 00:21:50,340
Schultz, where are you going?!
435
00:21:50,409 --> 00:21:51,825
Stop! Stop!
436
00:21:51,894 --> 00:21:53,872
Schultz, what are
you doing here? Stop!
437
00:21:53,896 --> 00:21:56,330
I-I'm apprehending a
defector, Herr Kommandant!
438
00:21:56,399 --> 00:21:57,876
A what? A what? A what? A what?
439
00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:59,333
A defector. Out with you.
440
00:21:59,402 --> 00:22:02,836
Out, out, out, out,
defector. Out! Out!
441
00:22:04,173 --> 00:22:05,772
Aha! Aha!
442
00:22:05,841 --> 00:22:07,974
Now we have something.
443
00:22:08,044 --> 00:22:09,443
This can be explained.
444
00:22:09,512 --> 00:22:11,278
Yes, I shall enjoy
hearing you explain.
445
00:22:11,347 --> 00:22:12,612
Take him away.
446
00:22:12,681 --> 00:22:14,493
I am Major General Hans Stofle,
447
00:22:14,517 --> 00:22:16,828
Commander of the
Ninth Armored Division
448
00:22:16,852 --> 00:22:18,285
Afrika Korps.
449
00:22:18,354 --> 00:22:21,455
Oh? The Afrika Korps
has changed uniform?
450
00:22:21,524 --> 00:22:22,956
I can explain this.
451
00:22:23,025 --> 00:22:24,591
Klink, explain this.
452
00:22:24,660 --> 00:22:26,110
Explain what?
453
00:22:26,179 --> 00:22:28,645
That I am General
Stofle, your old classmate.
454
00:22:28,714 --> 00:22:30,080
Tell him.
455
00:22:31,400 --> 00:22:32,850
Well, Klink?
456
00:22:32,919 --> 00:22:37,788
He resembles my old classmate,
but that's such a long time ago.
457
00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:39,034
Klink!
458
00:22:39,058 --> 00:22:40,338
Ask this man.
459
00:22:40,392 --> 00:22:41,792
He got me the uniform.
460
00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:43,371
Never saw him before in my life.
461
00:22:43,395 --> 00:22:44,495
Take him away.
462
00:22:44,564 --> 00:22:45,796
Just a minute!
463
00:22:45,865 --> 00:22:47,843
If I'm not with my
troops in the morning,
464
00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:49,545
you shall have
to answer for this!
465
00:22:49,569 --> 00:22:50,868
Of course.
466
00:22:50,937 --> 00:22:54,338
But first we must find out
just what those troops are.
467
00:22:54,406 --> 00:22:56,006
In our Berlin headquarters
468
00:22:56,075 --> 00:22:58,342
we have facilities for
sifting out the truth.
469
00:22:58,410 --> 00:22:59,888
There is no time for this!
470
00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:01,779
For the truth there
is always time.
471
00:23:01,848 --> 00:23:03,280
Take him away!
472
00:23:04,617 --> 00:23:08,001
I wonder who he really is?
473
00:23:09,839 --> 00:23:17,111
Hogan, there is something
diabolical about you.
474
00:23:17,179 --> 00:23:20,013
I know.
475
00:23:24,753 --> 00:23:27,455
Hogan, for you I'm considering
30 days in the cooler.
476
00:23:27,523 --> 00:23:29,201
Well, if you think
I deserve it, sir,
477
00:23:29,225 --> 00:23:31,336
I'd be most happy to
honor your sense of duty.
478
00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:33,127
If you deserve it? If you...?
479
00:23:33,196 --> 00:23:35,296
You deserve six months, a year.
480
00:23:35,364 --> 00:23:36,964
That hurts.
481
00:23:37,032 --> 00:23:39,633
The Allies have started a
big offensive in the desert,
482
00:23:39,702 --> 00:23:41,469
and he wasn't
there to stop them.
483
00:23:41,537 --> 00:23:43,137
They got through?
484
00:23:43,206 --> 00:23:45,350
With Stofle gone, like
a knife through butter.
485
00:23:45,374 --> 00:23:47,814
And now my old friend
will never talk to me again.
486
00:23:47,876 --> 00:23:50,189
My career, oh, it's in jeopardy.
487
00:23:50,213 --> 00:23:51,812
In jeopardy?
488
00:23:51,880 --> 00:23:54,915
Hah. I've never seen a
campaign waged more brilliantly.
489
00:23:54,984 --> 00:23:57,685
You achieved total
victory, if I may say so, sir.
490
00:23:57,753 --> 00:23:59,487
Total victory. I did?
491
00:23:59,555 --> 00:24:02,590
If you and Stofle were
still friends, sooner or later
492
00:24:02,658 --> 00:24:04,803
he would have talked you
into being a tank commander,
493
00:24:04,827 --> 00:24:06,572
not that you wouldn't
have been brilliant.
494
00:24:06,596 --> 00:24:07,761
Danke.
495
00:24:07,830 --> 00:24:09,096
The Gestapo was after you.
496
00:24:09,164 --> 00:24:10,430
And where are you today?
497
00:24:10,500 --> 00:24:12,600
Driving a droshky on
the Russian steppes?
498
00:24:12,668 --> 00:24:14,935
No, sir, you're right
here where you belong,
499
00:24:15,004 --> 00:24:16,436
at Stalag 13.
500
00:24:16,506 --> 00:24:19,773
You know something,
Hogan, you could be right.
501
00:24:19,842 --> 00:24:21,441
Zolle was a mere
puppet in your hands.
502
00:24:21,511 --> 00:24:22,610
You let him dance,
503
00:24:22,678 --> 00:24:24,277
think he was in
command and then pfft,
504
00:24:24,346 --> 00:24:25,779
you cut him dead.
505
00:24:25,848 --> 00:24:28,549
You were brilliant the way
you got rid of the Gestapo.
506
00:24:28,618 --> 00:24:30,618
I was?
507
00:24:30,686 --> 00:24:32,452
I never thought of that.
508
00:24:32,522 --> 00:24:36,824
I warned them to leave me
alone, and now they're gone.
509
00:24:37,860 --> 00:24:40,828
Congratulations, Commandant.
510
00:24:41,864 --> 00:24:44,698
Mm, danke.
34958
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