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1
00:00:04,387 --> 00:00:07,555
CBS presents this
program in color.
2
00:00:59,443 --> 00:01:01,521
London's going to
transmit in two minutes.
3
00:01:01,545 --> 00:01:03,623
Schultz will be here
for the bed check.
4
00:01:03,647 --> 00:01:05,125
You know what to do, LeBeau.
5
00:01:05,149 --> 00:01:06,614
Ready for him, Colonel.
6
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:08,150
Great.
7
00:01:14,691 --> 00:01:16,158
Guten Abend, Schultz.
8
00:01:16,193 --> 00:01:18,071
LeBeau, you should be in bed.
9
00:01:18,095 --> 00:01:19,772
Everybody should be asleep
10
00:01:19,796 --> 00:01:22,331
so that I can
count the... strudel.
11
00:01:22,366 --> 00:01:27,236
Real, live strudel.
12
00:01:27,271 --> 00:01:29,004
I made some extra. Go ahead.
13
00:01:29,039 --> 00:01:31,907
You are a wonderful
person for an enemy.
14
00:01:34,578 --> 00:01:38,646
Mmm! Wunderbar!
15
00:01:38,682 --> 00:01:40,415
It sings, eh, Schultz?
16
00:01:40,450 --> 00:01:41,594
Ja. Now it sings.
17
00:01:41,618 --> 00:01:42,896
Later on, it growls.
18
00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:44,987
Does your wife
ever make strudel?
19
00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:47,133
Oh, please. Don't
mention my wife,
20
00:01:47,157 --> 00:01:48,523
not even in the dark.
21
00:01:48,558 --> 00:01:50,859
Why? She doesn't cook very good?
22
00:01:50,895 --> 00:01:54,496
Since the war, she works
in a munitions factory,
23
00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:57,099
lifting up big,
heavy gun barrels.
24
00:01:57,134 --> 00:01:59,101
Hey, that's a hard job.
25
00:01:59,136 --> 00:02:02,470
Ja. If they ever find
out that she is a woman,
26
00:02:02,506 --> 00:02:04,006
they'll fire her.
27
00:02:06,377 --> 00:02:08,355
Now I have to check the beds.
28
00:02:08,379 --> 00:02:09,844
Have more strudel.
29
00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,679
Danke.
30
00:02:11,715 --> 00:02:13,181
Good night.
31
00:02:13,217 --> 00:02:15,195
Wait. Wait. I have
to check the beds.
32
00:02:15,219 --> 00:02:16,351
Everybody is here.
33
00:02:16,387 --> 00:02:17,463
How do you know?
34
00:02:17,487 --> 00:02:19,587
I counted them myself.
35
00:02:19,623 --> 00:02:21,189
Why do it twice?
36
00:02:21,225 --> 00:02:26,361
You're not only a good
cook, you're also smart.
37
00:02:30,500 --> 00:02:32,562
What's the flap, Colonel?
38
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:37,388
Uh... "Top secret. Urgent.
Immediate action. Priority one."
39
00:02:37,424 --> 00:02:38,902
You think they're trying
to tell us something?
40
00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:41,560
"Lost contact with Agent Willie,
41
00:02:41,595 --> 00:02:44,896
"waiter at Hausner
Hof Hotel in Hamilburg.
42
00:02:44,932 --> 00:02:47,398
"Regular channels too risky.
43
00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:51,903
"Message for Willie: Cancel
weapons drop scheduled for 17th.
44
00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:53,905
"Trap suspected.
45
00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:56,908
Extreme danger to
valuable underground unit."
46
00:02:56,944 --> 00:02:59,578
Well, how are you supposed
to know this guy Willie?
47
00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:01,012
Recognition code.
48
00:03:01,048 --> 00:03:02,847
"Do you know 'Lili Marlene'?"
49
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:06,184
The answer has to be, "Yes.
Can you spare a cigarette?"
50
00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:07,719
Well, who you going
to send, Colonel?
51
00:03:07,754 --> 00:03:10,922
Me. I'll go out through the
emergency tunnel tomorrow night.
52
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:12,958
Kinch, I want you
to code this message
53
00:03:12,993 --> 00:03:14,671
and put it in a cigarette pack.
54
00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:17,528
Newkirk, what about a
civilian suit this time for me?
55
00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:19,042
Righto, Guvnor. You got it.
56
00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:23,201
Good. "Civilian."
What a beautiful word.
57
00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:24,703
Next to "girls."
58
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:26,515
Colonel, don't you ever think
59
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:28,384
about anything else but dames?
60
00:03:28,408 --> 00:03:30,742
Of course I do, but I fight it.
61
00:03:46,693 --> 00:03:49,227
Another 30 feet, and they'll
cross the emergency tunnel.
62
00:03:49,263 --> 00:03:50,895
What's their ruddy game?
63
00:03:50,930 --> 00:03:52,897
We tried asking the
Krauts, but no luck.
64
00:03:52,932 --> 00:03:54,399
What about Schultz?
65
00:03:54,434 --> 00:03:55,734
He won't talk.
66
00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:57,235
Not even to me,
67
00:03:57,271 --> 00:03:59,249
and I got him hooked
on apple strudel.
68
00:03:59,273 --> 00:04:00,739
What's taking so long here?
69
00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:02,173
I don't know.
70
00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:03,675
Blimey, it's cold!
71
00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:06,021
It sure is. My nose
is about to fall off.
72
00:04:06,045 --> 00:04:07,890
Wouldn't hurt your
appearance a bit.
73
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,592
Might help, as a matter of fact,
74
00:04:09,616 --> 00:04:12,016
Hey, Schultz, let's get
this show on the road.
75
00:04:12,051 --> 00:04:13,529
What's the delay?
76
00:04:13,553 --> 00:04:15,186
I know nothing. Nothing!
77
00:04:15,221 --> 00:04:16,854
Report!
78
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:20,358
Herr Kommandant, all
present and accounted for.
79
00:04:20,394 --> 00:04:21,859
Good.
80
00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:24,140
Now, gentlemen, I have
ordered this formation
81
00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:25,808
for the purpose
of telling you...
82
00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:27,443
Colonel, I'd like to
volunteer my command
83
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:29,345
for work on the
construction outside the wire.
84
00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:31,113
How very kind of
you, Colonel Hogan.
85
00:04:31,137 --> 00:04:34,372
Do some useful work and find
out exactly what we are doing there.
86
00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:35,873
Am I correct?
87
00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:38,310
Well, it did cross my mind.
88
00:04:38,345 --> 00:04:41,346
Of course. But that
won't be necessary.
89
00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:43,092
I have called this formation
90
00:04:43,116 --> 00:04:45,628
for the purpose of telling
you what is happening.
91
00:04:45,652 --> 00:04:47,919
Now, prisoners, I
wish to inform you
92
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:51,656
that the wire surrounding
this camp is being electrified.
93
00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:53,603
He can't do that. Electrified?
94
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,672
That's not so amusing, huh?
95
00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:59,030
The perimeter wire and the
gates will carry enough voltage
96
00:04:59,065 --> 00:05:01,132
to electrocute
anyone who touches it.
97
00:05:01,167 --> 00:05:03,313
Now, let a word to
the wise be sufficient.
98
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:06,471
Stalag 13 remains escape-proof.
99
00:05:06,506 --> 00:05:09,006
Thank you, Mr. Wonderful.
100
00:05:09,042 --> 00:05:11,242
Dismissed!
101
00:05:11,277 --> 00:05:13,356
Electrified fence?
That's terrible!
102
00:05:13,380 --> 00:05:15,513
Another first for Stalag 13.
103
00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:18,883
Well, at least now we can
get fried without drinking.
104
00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:24,356
You won't be able to use that
emergency tunnel now, Colonel.
105
00:05:24,391 --> 00:05:25,690
Sure, he will.
106
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:27,370
They're not digging
deep enough to find it.
107
00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:29,927
Yeah, but they'll be
guarding their equipment.
108
00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:31,796
I'll have to get out
some other way.
109
00:05:43,393 --> 00:05:45,393
Carter, check out here.
110
00:06:37,380 --> 00:06:39,025
There's nothing out here.
111
00:06:39,049 --> 00:06:40,727
Well, my office is
bugged, all right.
112
00:06:40,751 --> 00:06:43,351
They must have done it
when they electrified the fence.
113
00:06:43,386 --> 00:06:45,532
And while we were
out there on formation.
114
00:06:45,556 --> 00:06:47,022
Yeah. Klink figures we do
115
00:06:47,057 --> 00:06:48,701
all our escape
planning in my office.
116
00:06:48,725 --> 00:06:50,191
Shall we tear out
those microphones?
117
00:06:50,226 --> 00:06:51,693
No. Hold it a minute.
118
00:06:51,728 --> 00:06:54,009
Maybe we'll be able to use
them to our own advantage.
119
00:06:55,899 --> 00:06:59,367
Gentlemen, Stalag
13 Theater of the Air
120
00:06:59,402 --> 00:07:02,003
is about to have
its world premiere.
121
00:07:05,676 --> 00:07:07,141
Come in.
122
00:07:07,177 --> 00:07:08,476
Evening, Colonel.
123
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:09,978
Hi, Colonel.
124
00:07:10,013 --> 00:07:11,813
Good evening, Colonel.
125
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:15,316
Colonel, we'd like
a word with you.
126
00:07:15,351 --> 00:07:16,818
Okay. Sit down, men.
127
00:07:19,355 --> 00:07:23,658
Here. I'll just put away
my German grammar book.
128
00:07:25,361 --> 00:07:27,161
Beautiful language.
129
00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:28,663
What's on your minds?
130
00:07:28,699 --> 00:07:31,299
Sir, we have an escape plan.
131
00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:32,650
We want your approval.
132
00:07:32,685 --> 00:07:34,285
It's absolutely foolproof.
133
00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:36,354
There's not a
chance it can fail.
134
00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:39,357
It's 100% perfect in
every respect. Can't miss.
135
00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:40,859
It may even work.
136
00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:44,863
Of course it will work,
if it's properly exe...
137
00:07:44,898 --> 00:07:47,899
cuted. Executed.
138
00:07:47,934 --> 00:07:50,668
Yeah, yeah, uh...
look, I'm not in favor
139
00:07:50,704 --> 00:07:52,904
of escape attempts at this time.
140
00:07:55,074 --> 00:07:56,519
With his usual
brilliant efficiency,
141
00:07:56,543 --> 00:07:58,153
Colonel Klink is
electrifying the wire.
142
00:07:58,177 --> 00:08:01,178
I can short out the wire.
143
00:08:01,214 --> 00:08:03,581
And then we put a
ladder up against it
144
00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:05,349
and go over, any dark night.
145
00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:06,851
And we're away.
146
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:09,053
LeBEAU: Yeah. That'll
show the lousy Krauts.
147
00:08:09,088 --> 00:08:12,234
Corporal, I wish you
wouldn't use that language.
148
00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:13,725
And why not, may I ask?
149
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,827
They are pigs,
animals, brutes...
150
00:08:15,862 --> 00:08:17,896
The lowest form
of life on earth.
151
00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:19,976
Sure, but how do you
really feel about them?
152
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,076
Deep down,
153
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:22,578
don't you have a
sneaking admiration
154
00:08:22,602 --> 00:08:24,113
for the way they
conduct themselves?
155
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:25,748
There's a very good chance
they're going to win the war.
156
00:08:25,772 --> 00:08:28,551
Never thought I'd hear
you talk like that, sir.
157
00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:31,609
Colonel, are you going
soft on the Krauts?
158
00:08:31,645 --> 00:08:34,579
Let's just say that
I'm being realistic.
159
00:08:34,614 --> 00:08:39,350
Oh, LeBeau, I brought
your... your plate back.
160
00:08:39,385 --> 00:08:40,685
Okay, Schultz.
161
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,219
Oh, it was delicious.
162
00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:44,133
But you know what happened?
163
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:46,168
Klink saw me eat the strudel.
164
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,625
He almost killed me.
165
00:08:47,661 --> 00:08:48,960
Oh, he is a devil.
166
00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:56,534
He's a devil, all right,
167
00:08:56,570 --> 00:09:00,204
but the most lovable
devil in Germany today.
168
00:09:00,239 --> 00:09:04,576
When he saw me eat the
strudel, you know what he did?
169
00:09:04,611 --> 00:09:06,989
He canceled my next leave.
170
00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:09,647
But he was absolutely right!
171
00:09:09,683 --> 00:09:11,315
I deserve it.
172
00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:17,154
Oh, Kommandant Klink
is like a father to me.
173
00:09:17,190 --> 00:09:20,424
Well, I see you later.
174
00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:22,493
Obey the rules,
175
00:09:22,528 --> 00:09:27,231
or I have to do my
duty, and report you!
176
00:09:28,935 --> 00:09:31,302
Bye. Bye.
177
00:09:32,522 --> 00:09:35,323
Colonel, what about
our escape plan?
178
00:09:35,359 --> 00:09:36,825
I'll think it over.
179
00:09:36,860 --> 00:09:38,827
But don't get your
hopes too high.
180
00:09:40,364 --> 00:09:41,996
All right, dismissed!
181
00:09:45,101 --> 00:09:47,836
Yes, Herr General, a
definite pro-German attitude.
182
00:09:47,871 --> 00:09:50,338
He even refuses an escape plan.
183
00:09:50,374 --> 00:09:53,341
It's all in the
recording that I made.
184
00:09:53,377 --> 00:09:55,009
What's that, sir?
185
00:09:55,044 --> 00:09:57,512
Oh, I had his quarters bugged.
186
00:09:57,547 --> 00:10:00,415
It's part of my new
electrification program.
187
00:10:00,450 --> 00:10:03,150
Oh, we are on the
ball here at Stalag 13.
188
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:05,353
Get off the ball and go to work?
189
00:10:05,389 --> 00:10:06,855
Yes, indeed, sir.
190
00:10:06,890 --> 00:10:09,691
What are your
orders, Herr General?
191
00:10:09,726 --> 00:10:11,693
Play up to Hogan?
192
00:10:11,728 --> 00:10:13,194
Oh, I see.
193
00:10:13,229 --> 00:10:16,865
Make life easier, and
don't be too obvious.
194
00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:20,101
Well, you know me when
it comes to being subtle.
195
00:10:20,136 --> 00:10:22,837
Yes, we can discuss
that at another time.
196
00:10:22,873 --> 00:10:26,374
I will follow your orders,
Herr General, and report.
197
00:10:26,410 --> 00:10:28,075
Thank you, General Burkhalter.
198
00:10:29,413 --> 00:10:32,046
Now, take the pillows
and put it on the bed.
199
00:10:32,081 --> 00:10:35,082
And you take this
and put it over there.
200
00:10:38,588 --> 00:10:40,733
Schultz, what's going on?
201
00:10:40,757 --> 00:10:43,658
Our beloved and
wonderful Kommandant
202
00:10:43,693 --> 00:10:47,228
wants you to be as
comfortable as possible.
203
00:10:47,263 --> 00:10:48,741
That's very kind
of him, Schultz.
204
00:10:48,765 --> 00:10:52,434
He is a wonderful,
beloved Kommandant.
205
00:10:54,103 --> 00:10:55,603
Something wrong?
206
00:10:57,774 --> 00:10:59,774
Take this and
get it autographed.
207
00:11:02,378 --> 00:11:04,746
Well, Colonel
Hogan, here we are,
208
00:11:04,781 --> 00:11:07,682
you and I having a
little kaffeeklatsch,
209
00:11:07,717 --> 00:11:09,183
talking things over.
210
00:11:09,218 --> 00:11:10,685
Now, you must confess,
211
00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:12,832
I am not the worst
man in Germany, am I?
212
00:11:12,856 --> 00:11:15,222
Well, I don't know everybody.
213
00:11:15,258 --> 00:11:17,859
Actually, Commandant,
I understand you
214
00:11:17,894 --> 00:11:19,360
a lot better than you think.
215
00:11:19,395 --> 00:11:20,862
Really?
216
00:11:20,897 --> 00:11:22,129
Not many people know this
217
00:11:22,165 --> 00:11:24,243
but, originally, my
name was Hoganmueller.
218
00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:25,767
Hoganmueller?
219
00:11:25,802 --> 00:11:27,101
Remarkable!
220
00:11:27,136 --> 00:11:29,170
You're one of us?
221
00:11:29,205 --> 00:11:30,939
From way back.
222
00:11:30,974 --> 00:11:32,868
That makes a big difference.
223
00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:34,836
Well, frankly, Colonel Hogan,
224
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:38,362
I would like to improve
our relationship even more.
225
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:42,066
Tell me, what is it you
would like most in this world?
226
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:44,602
Hmm... let me think.
227
00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:46,804
You can't make up your mind?
228
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:49,540
I know what I want. It's a
question: blonde or brunette?
229
00:11:49,575 --> 00:11:54,478
What a marvelous
German-American sense of humor.
230
00:11:54,513 --> 00:11:56,458
Seriously, Commandant,
there is one thing.
231
00:11:56,482 --> 00:11:57,982
I'm getting a little rock happy.
232
00:11:58,017 --> 00:12:00,196
Would it be possible to
go into town some night
233
00:12:00,220 --> 00:12:01,731
and have dinner
at the Hausner Hof?
234
00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:05,256
Unfortunately, that's
against regulations.
235
00:12:05,291 --> 00:12:06,291
Oh, of course.
236
00:12:06,325 --> 00:12:07,325
Forget it.
237
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,559
No harm in trying.
238
00:12:08,594 --> 00:12:10,728
I'd better be running along.
239
00:12:10,763 --> 00:12:13,697
I've had a lovely
time at your party.
240
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,199
And tomorrow again?
241
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:16,867
Why not? Unless I sleep late.
242
00:12:16,902 --> 00:12:18,369
Good.
243
00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:19,703
Tell me, Hogan,
244
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,016
is there anything special
245
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:22,551
you would like for breakfast?
246
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:25,409
Yeah. I'm very fond of crumpets,
247
00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:27,044
but don't go to any trouble,
248
00:12:27,079 --> 00:12:29,079
like capturing England.
249
00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:34,885
Roll out the barrel ♪
250
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,588
♪ We've got the
blues on the run... ♪
251
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:40,102
Hey, knock it off,
knock it off, will you?
252
00:12:40,126 --> 00:12:41,937
Hey, Colonel, tell the Glee Club
253
00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:43,772
to knock it off, please...
We want to talk to you.
254
00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:44,962
Oh, really?
255
00:12:44,997 --> 00:12:47,231
♪ Now's the time to
the roll the barrel ♪
256
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,133
♪ For the gang's all here ♪
257
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:51,435
All right, all right, hold
it down a minute, fellas.
258
00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:52,637
What's the problem?
259
00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:54,116
We called this meeting, sir,
260
00:12:54,140 --> 00:12:55,551
'cause we got the
needle about you.
261
00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:56,652
What does that mean?
262
00:12:56,676 --> 00:12:58,154
You've been having breakfast
263
00:12:58,178 --> 00:12:59,188
with Klink every morning.
264
00:12:59,212 --> 00:13:00,452
Why, he's done over your room.
265
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:01,790
And you've been studying German.
266
00:13:01,814 --> 00:13:03,847
You even asked for
Hitler's autograph.
267
00:13:03,883 --> 00:13:06,295
Are those eagles on your
shoulders or vultures, sir?
268
00:13:06,319 --> 00:13:09,187
Wait a minute, where do you
come off talking to me like that?
269
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:12,022
This is the first time my loyalty
has ever been questioned.
270
00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:13,624
Whose side are you on?
271
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,871
Let me tell you
guys a few things.
272
00:13:15,895 --> 00:13:18,062
When I was a captain
at Mitchell Field,
273
00:13:18,097 --> 00:13:20,097
they gave me top
security clearance.
274
00:13:20,132 --> 00:13:22,633
I was the man who
helped them test
275
00:13:22,669 --> 00:13:25,035
the famous secret Norden...
276
00:13:25,071 --> 00:13:26,370
♪ Zing ♪
277
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:29,106
♪ Boom, tararrel ♪
Norden Bomb Sight?!
278
00:13:29,141 --> 00:13:31,620
♪ Ring out a song of good
cheer ♪ Stop that singing!
279
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:32,743
♪ Now's the time ♪
280
00:13:32,778 --> 00:13:34,412
♪ To roll the barrel ♪
281
00:13:34,447 --> 00:13:36,714
♪ For the gang's all here... ♪
282
00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:38,382
Hold it, hold it.
283
00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:40,384
That's what the army
thought of my loyalty.
284
00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:42,164
How do we know
that's the truth, sir?
285
00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:43,921
You still doubt me, huh?
286
00:13:43,956 --> 00:13:46,490
All right, I'll describe it.
287
00:13:46,526 --> 00:13:48,826
The Norden works on
the synchro-mesh principle
288
00:13:48,861 --> 00:13:50,928
and has a 4.2
interlocking... ♪ Zing ♪
289
00:13:50,963 --> 00:13:54,732
♪ Boom, tarrarel ♪
Quiet! More details!
290
00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:59,069
And that's what accounts
for its tremendous accuracy.
291
00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:01,383
The Norden is the only
invention of its kind in the world,
292
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:03,724
that utilizes its own power,
293
00:14:03,759 --> 00:14:05,237
which in turn, as we all know...
294
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:06,872
♪ We got the blues on the run ♪
295
00:14:06,896 --> 00:14:09,730
for the last time,
it makes it possible
296
00:14:09,765 --> 00:14:13,834
to isolate the smallest objects
at a considerable distance.
297
00:14:13,870 --> 00:14:16,471
♪ Now's the time
to roll the barrel ♪
298
00:14:16,506 --> 00:14:18,639
♪ For the gang's ♪
299
00:14:18,674 --> 00:14:20,241
♪ All ♪
300
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:23,211
♪ Here! ♪
301
00:14:23,246 --> 00:14:25,579
Yahoo! Yahoo!
302
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:27,293
No question about
it, Herr General,
303
00:14:27,317 --> 00:14:28,916
it is the Norden Bomb Sight.
304
00:14:28,951 --> 00:14:30,485
What's that, sir?
305
00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:33,321
Yes, I believe he
would give us the plans.
306
00:14:33,356 --> 00:14:34,989
I have been cultivating him,
307
00:14:35,025 --> 00:14:37,158
and through very
clever investigation
308
00:14:37,193 --> 00:14:40,094
have found out that he
has a German background.
309
00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:44,132
His real name is Hoganmueller.
310
00:14:44,167 --> 00:14:47,902
Sir, no, I cannot reveal
that source, even to you.
311
00:14:47,937 --> 00:14:50,638
Yes, it would be an excellent
idea if you came here.
312
00:14:50,673 --> 00:14:52,240
It would impress Hogan.
313
00:14:52,275 --> 00:14:54,608
Yes, sir, I will make all the
necessary arrangements.
314
00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:57,311
By the way, General,
when you come here,
315
00:14:57,347 --> 00:15:00,981
I have a little
surprise for you.
316
00:15:01,017 --> 00:15:03,017
Yes, sir!
317
00:15:07,256 --> 00:15:09,535
Herr Commandant,
General Burkhalter
318
00:15:09,559 --> 00:15:12,160
passed through
Hamilburg ten minutes ago.
319
00:15:12,195 --> 00:15:14,495
Good, he will be
here any minute now.
320
00:15:14,530 --> 00:15:16,530
The control switch.
321
00:15:25,508 --> 00:15:27,675
Wait. Stop it.
322
00:15:27,710 --> 00:15:30,878
Stop it! Stop the car!
323
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,492
Welcome, Herr General.
324
00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:36,084
Oh, I stopped the car
because I want to show you
325
00:15:36,119 --> 00:15:38,864
the little surprise I mentioned
to you on the phone.
326
00:15:38,888 --> 00:15:42,156
Herr General, my
escape-proof gates.
327
00:15:42,192 --> 00:15:45,259
These are foolproof,
and they work perfectly.
328
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:48,713
That's a mistake, sir.
329
00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:50,914
Schultz, the controls!
330
00:15:52,318 --> 00:15:53,651
General Burkhalter,
331
00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:55,302
that idiot, Schultz!
332
00:15:55,338 --> 00:15:56,838
Dummkopf!
333
00:15:59,826 --> 00:16:01,659
I assure you...
334
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:04,311
Here, here, let
me help you up...
335
00:16:04,347 --> 00:16:05,947
It will not happen again.
336
00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:11,130
You know, I think I
saw this act once...
337
00:16:11,154 --> 00:16:13,654
At the circus.
338
00:16:15,959 --> 00:16:18,325
Judging by that recording,
339
00:16:18,361 --> 00:16:22,363
there's hardly any question Hogan
knows the Norden Bomb Sight.
340
00:16:22,398 --> 00:16:23,798
You can see, Herr General,
341
00:16:23,833 --> 00:16:25,867
that we are doing
excellent work here.
342
00:16:25,902 --> 00:16:28,236
Ja? Like those gates?
343
00:16:28,271 --> 00:16:30,304
That was just a
malfunction, sir.
344
00:16:30,339 --> 00:16:34,742
Be careful I don't malfunction
you right to the Russian front.
345
00:16:34,778 --> 00:16:37,544
But is Hogan ready to
tell us about the Norden?
346
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:39,680
I have been working
on him, Herr General.
347
00:16:39,715 --> 00:16:41,282
Even if I say so myself,
348
00:16:41,317 --> 00:16:43,450
when I turn on the charm,
349
00:16:43,486 --> 00:16:45,419
I can be irresistible.
350
00:16:45,454 --> 00:16:48,289
I have never had any
trouble resisting you.
351
00:16:48,324 --> 00:16:50,291
Very good, sir.
352
00:16:50,326 --> 00:16:52,738
I have ordered one of
our engineering specialists,
353
00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:54,128
Major Klopfer, to come here.
354
00:16:54,164 --> 00:16:55,396
He will arrive tonight.
355
00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:56,730
Yes, sir.
356
00:16:56,766 --> 00:16:59,300
Now, let me see what we
can do with Colonel Hogan.
357
00:16:59,335 --> 00:17:00,746
I will have him brought here.
358
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:02,748
We will start strenuous
interrogation at once.
359
00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:04,738
Klink, you're not
only irresistible,
360
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:06,274
but you're also very subtle.
361
00:17:06,309 --> 00:17:07,608
Thank you, sir.
362
00:17:07,643 --> 00:17:09,877
Like a broken leg.
363
00:17:09,913 --> 00:17:13,314
Hogan requires very
delicate handling.
364
00:17:13,349 --> 00:17:16,284
Tell me, is there anything
particularly he wants?
365
00:17:16,319 --> 00:17:19,353
Um, let me see. Oh, yes.
366
00:17:19,388 --> 00:17:22,835
He expressed a desire to go
into town some evening for dinner
367
00:17:22,859 --> 00:17:25,337
at one of the local
hotels, the Hausner Hof.
368
00:17:25,361 --> 00:17:27,761
That's something to go on.
369
00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:29,063
Arrange a little party.
370
00:17:29,098 --> 00:17:31,765
That is exactly what I
was thinking, Herr General.
371
00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:35,069
Good food and enough
wine to make him talkative.
372
00:17:35,104 --> 00:17:38,572
And perhaps even some
charming feminine company.
373
00:17:38,607 --> 00:17:40,407
That is an excellent idea.
374
00:17:40,443 --> 00:17:43,622
By the way, I have this
young lady friend, Gretchen.
375
00:17:43,646 --> 00:17:46,214
I met her at the Strength
Through Joy picnic...
376
00:17:46,249 --> 00:17:47,414
Please.
377
00:17:47,450 --> 00:17:49,250
Spare me the details.
378
00:17:49,285 --> 00:17:51,585
Just arrange the party.
379
00:17:51,620 --> 00:17:54,055
And have him wear
one of our uniforms.
380
00:17:54,090 --> 00:17:55,823
It's good psychologically.
381
00:17:55,859 --> 00:17:56,902
Yes, Herr General.
382
00:17:56,926 --> 00:17:58,670
Now, let me tell
you about this lady...
383
00:18:02,198 --> 00:18:05,566
And then I said, "If you
don't mind, mein Fuhrer,
384
00:18:05,601 --> 00:18:08,970
this year I will take my
vacation in England."
385
00:18:12,541 --> 00:18:14,541
The general is a
very amusing man.
386
00:18:14,577 --> 00:18:16,277
A barrel of laughs.
387
00:18:16,312 --> 00:18:18,379
There's also a
physical resemblance.
388
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:23,450
Colonel, you are the
funniest man I have ever met.
389
00:18:23,486 --> 00:18:25,064
What's the matter with me?
390
00:18:25,088 --> 00:18:27,121
Would you like
us to make a list?
391
00:18:27,156 --> 00:18:30,491
Waiter! More
champagne for everybody.
392
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:31,926
Jawohl, Herr General.
393
00:18:31,961 --> 00:18:34,728
Oh. Oh, thank you.
394
00:18:34,764 --> 00:18:37,765
By the way, uh, do
you know Lili Marlene?
395
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,201
No, but I'll ask the
orchestra leader.
396
00:18:40,236 --> 00:18:42,336
Forget it.
397
00:18:44,374 --> 00:18:46,673
Gretchen, my dear,
would you care to dance?
398
00:18:46,709 --> 00:18:48,075
I'm sorry, Liebchen,
399
00:18:48,111 --> 00:18:49,955
I'm a little tired tonight.
400
00:18:49,979 --> 00:18:52,446
It's been years since
I've done any dancing.
401
00:18:52,481 --> 00:18:55,449
I thought you
would never ask me.
402
00:18:55,484 --> 00:18:58,152
Either you've got
it or you haven't.
403
00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:05,159
Careful, honey, you're
gonna melt Klink's monocle.
404
00:19:05,194 --> 00:19:07,672
You dance very well, Colonel.
405
00:19:07,696 --> 00:19:11,665
Thank you. I used to take
notes at Fred Astaire movies.
406
00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:14,067
Hogan is having a good time.
407
00:19:14,103 --> 00:19:16,203
Yes, with my girl.
408
00:19:16,238 --> 00:19:18,406
Either you've got
it or you haven't.
409
00:19:18,441 --> 00:19:21,375
Very good, Herr General.
410
00:19:21,411 --> 00:19:24,211
I'm afraid I do not
appreciate that humor.
411
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:26,046
Colonel, may I remind you
412
00:19:26,081 --> 00:19:28,449
that we are here
on official business?
413
00:19:28,484 --> 00:19:30,484
Official business, yes.
414
00:19:31,721 --> 00:19:34,254
Monkey business, no!
415
00:19:36,192 --> 00:19:40,528
Excuse me, do you
happen to know Lili Marlene?
416
00:19:40,563 --> 00:19:43,263
Is that made with
gin or whiskey?
417
00:19:43,299 --> 00:19:45,533
Thank you and good night.
418
00:19:48,137 --> 00:19:51,839
You seem to be very
interested in this Lili Marlene.
419
00:19:51,874 --> 00:19:53,874
I'm taking a survey.
420
00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:57,628
If he continues to
dance, he'll stay sober.
421
00:19:57,663 --> 00:20:00,097
Yes, you may be right.
422
00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:01,699
I'm going to cut in.
423
00:20:01,734 --> 00:20:04,401
And then perhaps
you can talk to him.
424
00:20:09,007 --> 00:20:11,975
May I? Oh, by all means.
425
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:14,356
Oh, I'm terribly sorry, my dear.
426
00:20:14,380 --> 00:20:17,681
Well, it's her fault for
having a leg on that side.
427
00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:23,937
You and the colonel seem to
have something in common.
428
00:20:23,973 --> 00:20:25,234
You mean Gretchen?
429
00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:27,068
Good kid. Good
little dancer, too.
430
00:20:27,092 --> 00:20:28,892
Isn't there something more?
431
00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:31,479
Come on, General,
I just met the girl.
432
00:20:31,514 --> 00:20:34,531
No, no, I mean you and Klink
433
00:20:34,566 --> 00:20:37,334
see things eye to
eye the German way.
434
00:20:37,369 --> 00:20:38,952
I try to be realistic.
435
00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:40,388
Excellent attitude.
436
00:20:40,423 --> 00:20:43,124
I take it you like to
be on the winning side.
437
00:20:43,159 --> 00:20:44,908
General, what's on your mind?
438
00:20:44,943 --> 00:20:46,310
I mean, besides Elsa?
439
00:20:46,345 --> 00:20:50,598
Cards on the table,
hmm? All right.
440
00:20:50,633 --> 00:20:52,966
We're interested in the Norden.
441
00:20:53,002 --> 00:20:55,936
Oh, that old thing? Is that all?
442
00:20:55,971 --> 00:20:57,049
Excuse me.
443
00:20:57,073 --> 00:20:59,633
Gretchen wants to be rescued.
444
00:21:02,945 --> 00:21:04,445
May I?
445
00:21:09,485 --> 00:21:11,052
Yes, Herr General?
446
00:21:11,087 --> 00:21:13,187
I think your Colonel
Hogan is ready to talk.
447
00:21:13,222 --> 00:21:15,189
Oh, that's wonderful, sir.
448
00:21:15,224 --> 00:21:18,792
Call the camp and tell Major
Klopfer to stand by. Yes, sir.
449
00:21:18,827 --> 00:21:20,761
Oh, Colonel, how is it your girl
450
00:21:20,796 --> 00:21:23,730
has been dancing with
the American all evening?
451
00:21:23,766 --> 00:21:25,266
Oh, shut up.
452
00:21:29,172 --> 00:21:30,882
Honey, why don't you
go back to the table.
453
00:21:30,906 --> 00:21:32,117
I'll be with you in a minute.
454
00:21:32,141 --> 00:21:33,240
Something is wrong?
455
00:21:33,276 --> 00:21:35,876
I want to say hello to
an old friend... I hope.
456
00:21:35,911 --> 00:21:39,447
Don't be long. I will miss you.
457
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:46,620
Uh, excuse me. Yes, sir?
458
00:21:46,655 --> 00:21:48,789
Do you know Lili Marlene?
459
00:21:48,824 --> 00:21:51,292
Yes. Yes.
460
00:21:53,713 --> 00:21:56,814
This was made for you, my dear.
461
00:21:56,849 --> 00:21:59,883
Do you know Lili Marlene? Yes.
462
00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:01,451
Yes, what?
463
00:22:01,486 --> 00:22:03,854
Yes, can you spare a cigarette?
464
00:22:03,889 --> 00:22:07,858
Here. Keep the pack. Yes, sir.
465
00:22:07,893 --> 00:22:10,994
Don't forget to
read it. Yes, sir.
466
00:22:11,030 --> 00:22:12,462
You're all right.
467
00:22:12,497 --> 00:22:15,432
I like a spy with
nerves of steel.
468
00:22:19,605 --> 00:22:23,324
Now, the main thing about
the Norden is its compactness.
469
00:22:23,359 --> 00:22:25,170
Practical, you mean,
huh? Extremely.
470
00:22:25,194 --> 00:22:27,928
Go on.
471
00:22:27,963 --> 00:22:31,832
You'll notice the
handle is curved...
472
00:22:34,003 --> 00:22:36,403
for easier control.
473
00:22:36,439 --> 00:22:38,772
The start button
located right there.
474
00:22:38,807 --> 00:22:42,243
Now, what is the power source?
475
00:22:42,278 --> 00:22:45,446
Electrical. It derives from a
lightweight, compact motor
476
00:22:45,481 --> 00:22:50,117
located right about... here.
477
00:22:50,153 --> 00:22:53,314
Am I to understand that a
Norden is completely portable?
478
00:22:53,338 --> 00:22:54,783
It weighs only
about seven pounds.
479
00:22:54,807 --> 00:22:57,474
Seven pounds? Amazing.
480
00:22:57,510 --> 00:22:59,610
That's amazing!
481
00:22:59,645 --> 00:23:03,547
Now, about the aiming mechanism.
482
00:23:03,582 --> 00:23:04,909
Aiming mechanism?
Doesn't have one.
483
00:23:04,933 --> 00:23:08,435
It must utilize an entirely
revolutionary principle.
484
00:23:08,471 --> 00:23:11,116
There's nothing
revolutionary about it.
485
00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:15,609
Here... let me show you
one of the other major parts.
486
00:23:15,645 --> 00:23:18,345
This, gentlemen...
487
00:23:18,381 --> 00:23:19,613
is the dust bag.
488
00:23:19,649 --> 00:23:21,426
It's located right
under the handle.
489
00:23:21,450 --> 00:23:23,116
Dust bag?
490
00:23:23,152 --> 00:23:25,619
Great suction, too... pull the
teeth right out of your mouth.
491
00:23:27,089 --> 00:23:28,922
General!
492
00:23:28,957 --> 00:23:32,393
This man is describing
a vacuum cleaner,
493
00:23:32,428 --> 00:23:34,395
not a bomb sight.
494
00:23:34,430 --> 00:23:35,762
What?!
495
00:23:35,798 --> 00:23:37,130
A vacuum cleaner?
496
00:23:37,166 --> 00:23:40,201
Norden makes one of the greatest
vacuum cleaners in the world.
497
00:23:40,236 --> 00:23:42,503
Congratulations, Klink,
you've done it again!
498
00:23:45,941 --> 00:23:48,220
But you said that
you tested the Norden.
499
00:23:48,244 --> 00:23:51,044
I had one in my room at
the base where I trained.
500
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:54,615
We wined you and dined you, and
now you're describing a vacuum cleaner!
501
00:23:54,650 --> 00:23:56,450
You asked me, remember?
502
00:23:56,485 --> 00:23:59,030
You're going to get me
into a lot of trouble for this.
503
00:23:59,054 --> 00:24:02,434
Besides that, you still owe me
500 marks for the champagne alone!
504
00:24:02,458 --> 00:24:04,291
Forget it. Forget it, he says.
505
00:24:04,327 --> 00:24:09,263
Of course, what good is money
gonna do you at the Russian front?
506
00:24:12,418 --> 00:24:16,453
Raus, raus, raus,
heraus, heraus, heraus.
507
00:24:16,489 --> 00:24:18,489
All done, Herr Kommandant.
508
00:24:18,524 --> 00:24:20,057
Very good, Schultz.
509
00:24:20,092 --> 00:24:23,071
Now, Hogan, General
Burkhalter was kind enough
510
00:24:23,095 --> 00:24:24,606
to forget the whole matter,
511
00:24:24,630 --> 00:24:26,341
but I am going to teach you...
512
00:24:26,365 --> 00:24:28,965
Just one minute, Kommandant.
513
00:24:29,001 --> 00:24:32,969
One more... thing.
514
00:24:33,005 --> 00:24:36,306
This... and these.
515
00:24:36,342 --> 00:24:37,974
You better take them along.
516
00:24:38,010 --> 00:24:39,876
I wouldn't want to
hurt your feelings.
517
00:24:39,912 --> 00:24:41,245
Hurt my feelings?
518
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:44,415
I may talk about
Gretchen in my sleep.
37585
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