Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,354 --> 00:00:07,555
CBS presents this
program in color.
2
00:01:13,623 --> 00:01:15,824
All right, we got you in.
3
00:01:17,161 --> 00:01:18,393
Good morning.
4
00:01:18,428 --> 00:01:19,461
Morning, Colonel.
5
00:01:19,496 --> 00:01:21,864
Flight Lieutenants
Ritchie and Donner.
6
00:01:21,899 --> 00:01:22,865
Hi.
7
00:01:22,900 --> 00:01:23,866
They've been checked out, sir.
8
00:01:23,901 --> 00:01:24,867
Good morning, sir.
9
00:01:24,902 --> 00:01:26,046
Shot down near Dusseldorf.
10
00:01:26,070 --> 00:01:28,248
Came in through the
emergency tunnel last night.
11
00:01:28,272 --> 00:01:29,504
We were flying reconnaissance.
12
00:01:29,539 --> 00:01:30,873
Caught a bit of
flak, I'm afraid.
13
00:01:30,908 --> 00:01:33,153
Knocked us for six,
so we scarpered.
14
00:01:33,177 --> 00:01:35,878
Scarper... translation:
they bailed out.
15
00:01:35,913 --> 00:01:37,746
Thanks. Coffee?
16
00:01:37,781 --> 00:01:39,348
Sit down. Thank you.
17
00:01:39,383 --> 00:01:41,350
Well, the Germans might
have seen your parachutes,
18
00:01:41,385 --> 00:01:42,462
so they'll be looking for you.
19
00:01:42,486 --> 00:01:44,130
We'll keep you here
until the heat's off, huh?
20
00:01:44,154 --> 00:01:47,122
We heard you chaps were
expert in the escape business.
21
00:01:47,157 --> 00:01:48,368
We have our moments.
22
00:01:48,392 --> 00:01:50,359
We're rather anxious
to get back to base,
23
00:01:50,394 --> 00:01:51,894
even if it means a bit of risk.
24
00:01:51,929 --> 00:01:54,796
Right. Our squadron plays
the Royal Engineers next week.
25
00:01:54,831 --> 00:01:55,797
Hate to miss that.
26
00:01:55,832 --> 00:01:58,833
You want to get home
for a ruddy cricket match?
27
00:01:58,869 --> 00:02:00,068
Fascinating.
28
00:02:00,104 --> 00:02:01,381
There'll always be an England.
29
00:02:03,473 --> 00:02:05,034
Into the barracks, everybody.
30
00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:06,068
Into the barracks.
31
00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:07,169
Schnell, schnell,
schnell, schnell!
32
00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:08,304
Hey, watch it, watch it.
33
00:02:08,328 --> 00:02:09,861
Goon's coming.
34
00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:11,129
Come on!
35
00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:14,365
Into the barracks,
36
00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:15,366
I said raus, raus...
37
00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:16,535
Rrr-rrr...
38
00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:17,580
You, too!
39
00:02:17,604 --> 00:02:19,048
Raus, raus, raus, raus!
40
00:02:19,072 --> 00:02:21,906
Everybody into the
barracks until further notice.
41
00:02:21,941 --> 00:02:23,141
Schultz, what's going on?
42
00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:24,842
I know nothing.
43
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:26,444
Nothing.
44
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:29,381
Some Kraut colonel
just came into camp.
45
00:02:29,416 --> 00:02:30,748
Oh, you are so ignorant.
46
00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:33,251
Colonel... it's a general.
47
00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:35,920
General Von Kaplow.
48
00:02:35,955 --> 00:02:38,890
I know nothing, nothing!
49
00:02:38,925 --> 00:02:40,725
Schultz, Schultz!
What's he doing here?
50
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:42,238
You would like to
know, wouldn't you?
51
00:02:42,262 --> 00:02:47,532
Even if I know what the
General has chained to his wrist,
52
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:49,734
I wouldn't tell you,
and you know why?
53
00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:50,769
Because...
54
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:54,005
- I - know nothing! Nothing!
55
00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:55,873
Jolly jokers.
56
00:02:58,812 --> 00:03:01,779
A Wehrmacht General
with a briefcase.
57
00:03:01,815 --> 00:03:02,858
Now, why would he stop here?
58
00:03:02,882 --> 00:03:05,049
Carrying secrets, maybe?
59
00:03:05,085 --> 00:03:06,884
Could be.
60
00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,853
I think I'd better go
find out from Klink.
61
00:03:08,888 --> 00:03:11,000
How are you going
to do that, Colonel?
62
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,758
Lebeau, get out your
very best recipes.
63
00:03:13,793 --> 00:03:15,460
They say the way
to a man's big mouth
64
00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:16,595
is through his stomach.
65
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:33,378
We shall do everything to make
you comfortable, Herr General.
66
00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:35,147
That's very kind of
you, Colonel Quink.
67
00:03:35,182 --> 00:03:36,931
Klink.
68
00:03:36,966 --> 00:03:39,301
I'll try to remember that.
69
00:03:39,336 --> 00:03:40,868
Comfort is important,
70
00:03:40,904 --> 00:03:44,339
but I have chosen to stay
here for security reasons.
71
00:03:44,374 --> 00:03:47,175
Oh, my dear General,
this is Stalag 13.
72
00:03:47,211 --> 00:03:50,245
You need have no
worries about security.
73
00:03:50,280 --> 00:03:52,280
I always worry.
74
00:03:52,316 --> 00:03:56,585
That's why I am a general
and you are a colonel.
75
00:03:56,620 --> 00:03:57,952
Ha, that's good.
76
00:03:57,987 --> 00:03:59,221
I must remember that.
77
00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:03,925
Hi, honey.
78
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:06,461
What's the General
doing in there with Klink?
79
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:07,740
The only reason you kiss me
80
00:04:07,764 --> 00:04:09,175
is to get information from me.
81
00:04:09,199 --> 00:04:10,699
Come on, honey, that's not true.
82
00:04:10,734 --> 00:04:11,933
There are other reasons.
83
00:04:11,968 --> 00:04:14,068
For openers, I'm a man,
and you're a woman.
84
00:04:14,104 --> 00:04:15,337
Mmm.
85
00:04:15,372 --> 00:04:16,782
That's about all I remember
from those training films.
86
00:04:16,806 --> 00:04:18,340
What about the General?
87
00:04:18,375 --> 00:04:21,175
The only thing I know
is that he pinched me.
88
00:04:21,211 --> 00:04:22,844
At least we know what he likes.
89
00:04:25,565 --> 00:04:27,599
Easy boy, down now.
90
00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:31,503
Sir, Colonel Hogan, Senior
POW officer reporting.
91
00:04:31,538 --> 00:04:32,871
How dare you!
92
00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:33,872
Oh, I'm sorry.
93
00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:34,873
I didn't know you
had company, sir.
94
00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:36,508
How dare you
break into my office?
95
00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:37,976
You were confined to quarters.
96
00:04:38,012 --> 00:04:39,255
Well, you see, sir, I was...
97
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,045
Out!
98
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,491
You will be punished for this.
99
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:43,693
Herr General, I must
apologize for this rudeness.
100
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:45,783
Out! Wait.
101
00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:48,053
What is the problem?
102
00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:51,990
Uh, sir, you see, today is
one of our national holidays,
103
00:04:52,026 --> 00:04:54,059
Repeal of Prohibition.
104
00:04:54,094 --> 00:04:56,239
The fellows were
preparing a gourmet dinner,
105
00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:59,109
and they asked me to invite
our lovable commandant
106
00:04:59,133 --> 00:05:00,710
to join in the festivities.
107
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:01,933
Colonel Hogan, you know
108
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:04,102
I never fraternize
with the prisoners.
109
00:05:04,138 --> 00:05:05,103
Out!
110
00:05:05,139 --> 00:05:06,771
Just a moment.
111
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:08,507
Just a moment.
112
00:05:08,542 --> 00:05:11,443
A gourmet dinner in a POW camp.
113
00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:12,877
It might be amusing.
114
00:05:12,913 --> 00:05:14,246
It might be amusing.
115
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:17,460
We would be honored if the
General would join us, too.
116
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:19,451
Very well, I accept.
117
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:20,752
Very well. He accepts.
118
00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:21,453
All right, fine.
119
00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:22,287
Shall we say 7:30?
120
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,322
7:30.
121
00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:24,322
7:30.
122
00:05:24,358 --> 00:05:25,023
In your quarters?
In my quarters?
123
00:05:25,059 --> 00:05:26,059
Why not?
124
00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:27,592
Why not?
125
00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:28,905
All right, come as you are.
126
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:30,373
We're terribly informal here.
127
00:05:30,397 --> 00:05:32,877
General... Colonel.
128
00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:44,843
Excellent... excellent.
129
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:47,879
Mmm, very delicate flavor.
130
00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:49,881
I am so pleased you are
enjoying that, General.
131
00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:53,952
We are not totally
uncivilized here at Stalag 13.
132
00:05:53,987 --> 00:05:55,954
Schultz, you want
to lick the pot?
133
00:05:55,989 --> 00:05:57,789
Yes.
134
00:05:59,493 --> 00:06:01,560
Mmm!
135
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:03,462
Das schmecht gut.
136
00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:05,308
You're a better
cook than my wife.
137
00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:06,431
Merci.
138
00:06:06,467 --> 00:06:08,478
You're also better-looking.
139
00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:13,149
More wine, my dear?
140
00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:14,706
More wine for the General.
141
00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:16,186
More wine for the General.
142
00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:18,309
More wine for the General.
143
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:27,230
Oh, I beg... Clumsy oaf!
144
00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:28,294
Dummkopf!
145
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:29,699
Oh, well, accidents will happen.
146
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:30,867
Just take a moment to clean up.
147
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:33,186
Make sure you pick
up every bit of glass.
148
00:06:33,210 --> 00:06:34,376
Yes, sir.
149
00:06:36,997 --> 00:06:40,198
Oh, good help is so
hard to get these days.
150
00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:41,532
Good help?
151
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,835
Oh, you see, Herr General,
152
00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:46,972
he is a prisoner who
has to be here anyway.
153
00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:48,840
So, he refers to him as...
154
00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:50,759
That's very humorous.
155
00:06:50,794 --> 00:06:54,662
Ja, very humorous.
156
00:06:54,698 --> 00:06:56,848
You know, this
is really delicious.
157
00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:57,783
I once had a meal
158
00:06:57,818 --> 00:06:58,833
at Stalag 9.
159
00:06:58,869 --> 00:07:00,001
It was dreadful
160
00:07:00,036 --> 00:07:01,102
compared to this.
161
00:07:01,137 --> 00:07:02,169
Really?
162
00:07:02,205 --> 00:07:04,622
I believe that the
prisoners ate better
163
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:06,658
than the Commandant
and his officers.
164
00:07:06,693 --> 00:07:10,628
Colonel Hogan, if you
had not been captured,
165
00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:12,208
what would you
be doing right now?
166
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:16,100
Oh, probably bombing
your headquarters.
167
00:07:18,705 --> 00:07:20,483
And if you should escape?
168
00:07:20,507 --> 00:07:22,874
I can assure you, he won't.
169
00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:26,812
As an officer, it
is his duty to try.
170
00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:28,974
Also keeps me out of trouble.
171
00:07:28,998 --> 00:07:30,465
I got most of it, sir.
172
00:07:30,500 --> 00:07:32,834
I just need a
dustpan to finish up.
173
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:34,869
So... a fine meal
174
00:07:34,905 --> 00:07:36,604
and good company.
175
00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:37,705
Thank you.
176
00:07:37,741 --> 00:07:40,942
So, shall we adjourn
to the living room?
177
00:07:40,977 --> 00:07:42,187
To round out a perfect evening,
178
00:07:42,211 --> 00:07:44,056
I was hoping that the
Commandant would favor us
179
00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:44,879
with a bit of music.
180
00:07:44,915 --> 00:07:47,849
Oh, yes, a violin solo,
Herr Commandant.
181
00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:49,551
Ah, you're a musician?
182
00:07:49,586 --> 00:07:52,970
Well... in a small way.
183
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:54,306
Oh, he's so modest.
184
00:07:54,341 --> 00:07:56,874
Behind his back the
men call him Papa Heifetz.
185
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:57,910
They do?
186
00:07:57,944 --> 00:08:00,078
Amongst other things.
187
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:01,946
Oh, do play for us.
188
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:03,147
Just one number?
189
00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:06,418
Oh, really, I'm not prepared.
190
00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:07,480
Well, if he can't, he can't.
191
00:08:07,504 --> 00:08:08,470
If you insist.
192
00:08:08,505 --> 00:08:09,549
He can. He can!
193
00:08:09,573 --> 00:08:14,509
You won't believe
what he does to a violin.
194
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:38,900
What's that noise?
195
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:41,302
Somebody is strangling a cat.
196
00:08:41,337 --> 00:08:43,505
It's our beloved Commandant.
197
00:08:43,540 --> 00:08:45,306
He's having a go at the violin.
198
00:08:45,341 --> 00:08:47,019
You'd better get
in there and listen.
199
00:08:47,043 --> 00:08:48,710
Old Klink would love that.
200
00:08:48,745 --> 00:08:49,711
You think so?
201
00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:51,613
Oh, you'd probably
get an extra day's leave.
202
00:08:51,648 --> 00:08:53,448
Oh, I could start right now.
203
00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:00,388
Go...
204
00:09:01,057 --> 00:09:04,269
lights... camera... flash!
205
00:09:04,293 --> 00:09:07,829
Un, deux, trois...
206
00:09:15,572 --> 00:09:17,617
Wonderful, wonderful,
wonderful, Colonel.
207
00:09:17,641 --> 00:09:19,106
Thank you. Now shall we...
208
00:09:19,142 --> 00:09:21,476
Do you know "Melancholy Baby?"
209
00:09:21,511 --> 00:09:23,478
Is that Mozart by any chance?
210
00:09:23,513 --> 00:09:26,113
No chance at all.
211
00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:28,849
Oh... well, I have
another little number
212
00:09:28,885 --> 00:09:30,051
that is very well received.
213
00:09:30,086 --> 00:09:31,366
Good, good.
214
00:09:59,649 --> 00:10:02,217
General leave for
Berlin yet, Colonel?
215
00:10:02,252 --> 00:10:06,554
Yeah, and I wish he had
taken Klink's fiddle with him.
216
00:10:06,590 --> 00:10:09,190
Wait a minute. Wait
a minute. Hold it.
217
00:10:09,226 --> 00:10:12,093
These are the battle plans
of the Fourth Army Group.
218
00:10:12,128 --> 00:10:16,264
Attack plan, reserve
strength, air support,
219
00:10:16,299 --> 00:10:18,032
intelligence reports...
220
00:10:18,067 --> 00:10:20,468
Hey, we've got to get this
stuff to London, but fast.
221
00:10:20,503 --> 00:10:23,416
Hey, Colonel, send them out
with our two RAF cricketers.
222
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:25,005
Sure, use the emergency tunnel.
223
00:10:25,041 --> 00:10:28,142
No, there's too much
German activity near the exit.
224
00:10:28,177 --> 00:10:30,411
What would make the
Germans loosen up?
225
00:10:30,447 --> 00:10:32,592
Four or five well-placed
hand grenades.
226
00:10:32,616 --> 00:10:34,815
Look, they're winning.
227
00:10:34,851 --> 00:10:37,652
What if they thought
they were losing?
228
00:10:37,687 --> 00:10:39,332
Now, how do you manage that?
229
00:10:39,356 --> 00:10:41,723
This will take
real organization.
230
00:10:41,758 --> 00:10:46,093
Newkirk, I need two Wehrmacht
uniforms for the RAF men.
231
00:10:46,129 --> 00:10:47,406
Right, sir, I'll get
their measurements.
232
00:10:47,430 --> 00:10:49,442
Carter, what are the boys in
the metal shop working on?
233
00:10:49,466 --> 00:10:50,565
Reversible tie pins.
234
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,367
On one side it
says "Heil Hitler."
235
00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:55,202
On the other, "I was in
Switzerland during the war."
236
00:10:55,238 --> 00:10:56,904
Put a hold on the tie pins.
237
00:10:56,939 --> 00:10:58,917
I want them to make a
dummy movie camera,
238
00:10:58,941 --> 00:11:00,018
realistic as possible.
239
00:11:00,042 --> 00:11:01,609
Okay.
240
00:11:01,645 --> 00:11:04,679
All right, look, we go to
work on the goons tomorrow.
241
00:11:04,714 --> 00:11:05,980
We're selling an idea,
242
00:11:06,015 --> 00:11:09,417
so we've got to attack
them at their weakest point.
243
00:11:09,452 --> 00:11:10,863
Schultz!
244
00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:12,219
Who else?
245
00:11:13,890 --> 00:11:14,922
Here he comes!
246
00:11:18,361 --> 00:11:19,827
All right, gentlemen.
247
00:11:19,862 --> 00:11:20,795
Now the first thing is,
248
00:11:20,830 --> 00:11:22,241
I don't want you
to be discouraged
249
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,042
by the complexity of
the Russian language.
250
00:11:24,066 --> 00:11:25,277
What I want you to do
251
00:11:25,301 --> 00:11:27,212
is learn a few essential words.
252
00:11:27,236 --> 00:11:29,337
Now... the first word
we're going to learn
253
00:11:29,372 --> 00:11:31,739
is tovarich, which means friend.
254
00:11:31,775 --> 00:11:34,575
It's an obvious way
to greet someone.
255
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:36,889
Okay, now let me
hear you repeat it.
256
00:11:36,913 --> 00:11:39,079
Tovarich.
257
00:11:39,115 --> 00:11:40,259
Very good.
258
00:11:40,283 --> 00:11:41,248
Oh, hi, Schultz. Come on in.
259
00:11:41,284 --> 00:11:42,249
Hello. Now...
260
00:11:42,285 --> 00:11:44,352
What-what-what-
what are you doing?
261
00:11:44,387 --> 00:11:45,931
We're learning a little Russian.
262
00:11:45,955 --> 00:11:46,921
Good-bye.
263
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:48,200
Schultz, what's your hurry?
264
00:11:48,224 --> 00:11:49,968
It wouldn't hurt you to learn
a little Russian, you know.
265
00:11:49,992 --> 00:11:51,559
What for?
266
00:11:51,594 --> 00:11:56,764
Well, I mean, suppose they liberate
Stalag 13 before the Americans.
267
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:59,166
Th-they are coming?
268
00:11:59,202 --> 00:12:01,402
Could be. Good-bye.
269
00:12:01,438 --> 00:12:03,148
All right... Who told you?
270
00:12:03,172 --> 00:12:07,074
Oh, that's a professional
secret. I'm sorry.
271
00:12:07,109 --> 00:12:09,811
Aha! You have a radio hidden.
272
00:12:09,846 --> 00:12:13,047
You were listening
to a broadcast.
273
00:12:13,082 --> 00:12:15,216
You know it is verboten.
274
00:12:15,251 --> 00:12:19,354
If the Commandant finds
out, you all go to the cooler.
275
00:12:19,389 --> 00:12:20,355
What did the radio say, tell me?
276
00:12:20,390 --> 00:12:23,725
The Allies are
winning on all fronts.
277
00:12:23,760 --> 00:12:25,125
Hamburg is in ruins.
278
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,528
Berlin is a shambles.
279
00:12:27,564 --> 00:12:33,334
Oh, boy, no matter what
we do, we can't win a war.
280
00:12:34,804 --> 00:12:36,404
All right...
281
00:12:36,439 --> 00:12:41,242
now, the next two
words are "da" and "nyet"
282
00:12:41,277 --> 00:12:43,210
meaning "yes" and "no."
283
00:12:43,246 --> 00:12:47,849
Now, let me hear you say
"yes" and "no" in Russian.
284
00:12:47,884 --> 00:12:49,617
Da... nyet...
285
00:12:49,652 --> 00:12:54,155
Da. Nyet. Da. Nyet.
286
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:56,891
Da. Nyet.
287
00:12:56,926 --> 00:12:59,927
Da. Nyet. Da...
288
00:12:59,963 --> 00:13:05,499
We the undersigned,
POWs of Stalag 13,
289
00:13:05,534 --> 00:13:08,770
certify that Sergeant Schultz
290
00:13:08,805 --> 00:13:14,942
has been a humane and
considerate guard of this camp.
291
00:13:14,978 --> 00:13:18,946
We ask that he be
treated accordingly
292
00:13:18,982 --> 00:13:22,549
when the Allies
occupy Stalag 13.
293
00:13:23,987 --> 00:13:25,965
Type that up and
have everybody sign it.
294
00:13:25,989 --> 00:13:27,822
Will do.
295
00:13:27,857 --> 00:13:29,135
Schultz, you like that?
296
00:13:29,159 --> 00:13:32,660
Beautiful, tovarich.
297
00:13:32,695 --> 00:13:34,829
I could cry.
298
00:13:34,864 --> 00:13:37,431
Berlin is in ruins, and
Hamburg is a shambles,
299
00:13:37,466 --> 00:13:40,802
and the Russians are going to
liberate the camp any minute.
300
00:13:40,837 --> 00:13:42,136
How do you know all this?
301
00:13:42,172 --> 00:13:43,370
I know nothing, nothing.
302
00:13:43,406 --> 00:13:44,371
If you know nothing,
303
00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:46,685
where did you get
this information?
304
00:13:46,709 --> 00:13:49,376
Once in a while, I
know something.
305
00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:50,511
I see.
306
00:13:50,546 --> 00:13:52,746
The letter, please?
307
00:13:52,782 --> 00:13:55,283
Letter?
308
00:13:55,318 --> 00:13:57,118
I have no letter.
309
00:13:57,153 --> 00:13:59,386
I swear, Herr Commandant.
310
00:13:59,422 --> 00:14:01,088
I... have a letter.
311
00:14:01,124 --> 00:14:04,391
All wrapped up in
this neat little package.
312
00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:06,994
I need a few more signatures.
313
00:14:07,030 --> 00:14:09,797
This is a terrible thing
you're doing, Schultz.
314
00:14:09,833 --> 00:14:11,743
You're a traitor
to your country.
315
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:13,712
You're a traitor
to your uniform,
316
00:14:13,736 --> 00:14:15,369
and to my command.
317
00:14:15,404 --> 00:14:17,371
Yes, Herr Commandant.
318
00:14:17,406 --> 00:14:18,906
Dismissed!
319
00:14:20,676 --> 00:14:22,944
Would you like me to
get you one of these?
320
00:14:22,979 --> 00:14:25,213
Get out of here!
321
00:14:29,068 --> 00:14:31,869
This is Radio Berlin.
322
00:14:31,905 --> 00:14:34,906
We interrupt our daily music
for a special announcement
323
00:14:34,941 --> 00:14:36,407
from Supreme Headquarters.
324
00:14:36,442 --> 00:14:40,027
Our beloved Fuhrer will
address the German nation
325
00:14:40,062 --> 00:14:42,797
on a matter of the
highest importance
326
00:14:42,832 --> 00:14:44,866
this evening at 2100 hours.
327
00:14:44,901 --> 00:14:47,502
It is hoped that all
Germans will listen
328
00:14:47,537 --> 00:14:49,436
to this special broadcast...
329
00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:51,672
or else.
330
00:14:51,708 --> 00:14:54,876
So you are organizing a
Stalag 13 orchestra, huh?
331
00:14:54,911 --> 00:14:58,145
Yes, sir. The Red Cross
supplied the instruments.
332
00:14:58,180 --> 00:15:00,815
Love to have you
as first violinist, sir.
333
00:15:00,850 --> 00:15:02,149
Well, I don't know, I...
334
00:15:02,184 --> 00:15:04,118
I mean, the men
are insisting, sir.
335
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:05,119
I'm flattered.
336
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:06,120
I mean, of course,
337
00:15:06,155 --> 00:15:07,889
we'd love to have
you as soloist,
338
00:15:07,924 --> 00:15:09,957
especially at our first concert.
339
00:15:09,993 --> 00:15:11,392
Let me think it over.
340
00:15:11,427 --> 00:15:13,127
I mean, nothing elaborate.
341
00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,896
Maybe four or five numbers
342
00:15:14,931 --> 00:15:17,532
ending with "Stars
and Stripes Forever."
343
00:15:17,567 --> 00:15:19,299
That's an unusual request.
344
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:21,714
Oh, it's almost time
for the Fuhrer's speech.
345
00:15:21,738 --> 00:15:24,839
You may stay and listen to
it, Colonel Hogan, if you wish.
346
00:15:24,874 --> 00:15:26,206
Thank you, sir.
347
00:15:26,242 --> 00:15:29,410
I, uh... wouldn't
want to miss this.
348
00:15:29,445 --> 00:15:35,282
And now, here is our beloved
Fuhrer, Adolf Hitler, himself!
349
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:42,757
Germans everywhere, guten Abend.
350
00:15:42,792 --> 00:15:49,163
Your Fuhrer speaks to
you tonight live from Berlin.
351
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:54,602
I'm happy to report that the war
352
00:15:54,637 --> 00:15:59,373
against the enemies of our
beloved Third Reich goes well.
353
00:16:01,477 --> 00:16:05,613
It is possible that
you've heard rumors
354
00:16:05,648 --> 00:16:11,402
that Berlin is in ruins, Hamburg
is a shambles and so on.
355
00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:17,742
I order you not to believe
these things even if they are true.
356
00:16:17,777 --> 00:16:20,011
We are winning.
357
00:16:20,046 --> 00:16:23,848
Always winning
against the enemy.
358
00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:26,067
Yet, at the present time,
359
00:16:26,102 --> 00:16:29,270
certain negotiations
are under way
360
00:16:29,305 --> 00:16:34,475
which will come as a great
surprise to the Fatherland,
361
00:16:34,510 --> 00:16:39,981
but no matter what happens,
we will all be together.
362
00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:46,537
In conclusion, I say,
363
00:16:46,573 --> 00:16:50,040
tighten your belts,
364
00:16:50,076 --> 00:16:52,443
work hard,
365
00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:55,613
fight dirty,
366
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:59,751
and no matter what happens
367
00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:02,620
keep smiling.
368
00:17:02,655 --> 00:17:04,321
Keep smiling?
369
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:07,892
He tells us to keep smiling.
370
00:17:10,129 --> 00:17:13,598
Uh, Colonel, about
our orchestra?
371
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:15,065
Not now. Not now.
372
00:17:15,101 --> 00:17:16,634
We are winning the war.
373
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,703
But negotiations have started.
374
00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:20,438
Oh, don't worry about it.
375
00:17:20,473 --> 00:17:21,672
Hitler's like everybody else.
376
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:22,673
He has his moods.
377
00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:23,819
Of course.
378
00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,654
Probably had one of his
temper tantrums this morning.
379
00:17:25,678 --> 00:17:29,013
Yes, perhaps he had a
bad day at Berchtesgaden.
380
00:17:29,048 --> 00:17:30,715
But you can never tell.
381
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:31,994
What do you mean?
382
00:17:32,018 --> 00:17:34,118
Well, I mean, you go along
383
00:17:34,153 --> 00:17:36,987
running the toughest
camp in Germany
384
00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:39,624
and suddenly one
day you look out
385
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:42,627
and through the gate
comes a Sherman tank
386
00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:47,432
with its peashooter pointed
right at your monocle.
387
00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:48,499
What?
388
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:50,234
Yeah, yeah.
389
00:17:50,269 --> 00:17:53,704
And then out steps
a second lieutenant,
390
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:56,240
19 years old, 6'4"
391
00:17:56,275 --> 00:17:59,544
a high school senior
from Wichita, Kansas.
392
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:00,978
And he says,
393
00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:04,381
"Sir, you are my prisoner!"
394
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,016
Very correct,
395
00:18:06,052 --> 00:18:09,887
and if you move, he shoots you.
396
00:18:11,624 --> 00:18:15,092
Colonel, I'm going to
play in your orchestra.
397
00:18:15,127 --> 00:18:16,844
Thank you, sir.
398
00:18:16,879 --> 00:18:19,479
You are sitting in my chair!
399
00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:21,949
Sorry. I got carried away.
400
00:18:21,984 --> 00:18:25,686
I'd get rid of that German
helmet if I were you.
401
00:18:25,722 --> 00:18:28,589
It's got that "Hun"
feeling about it.
402
00:18:28,624 --> 00:18:30,657
And you don't have to worry
403
00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:33,127
about going to
the Russian front.
404
00:18:33,162 --> 00:18:35,662
The Russian front's coming here.
405
00:18:40,569 --> 00:18:42,915
Did we convince Klink that
he's losing the war, Colonel?
406
00:18:42,939 --> 00:18:44,338
All I can tell you is
407
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:46,218
he's practicing his
surrender speech right now.
408
00:18:46,242 --> 00:18:47,319
Let's go over your routine.
409
00:18:47,343 --> 00:18:48,553
Right you are.
410
00:18:48,577 --> 00:18:51,612
We are a photographic unit
411
00:18:51,647 --> 00:18:54,181
with orders to shoot
pictures of Stalag 13
412
00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:55,515
for our military archives.
413
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,184
Right-o.
414
00:18:57,220 --> 00:19:00,187
Our car broke down
a few miles from here,
415
00:19:00,223 --> 00:19:01,622
and we have come along on foot.
416
00:19:01,657 --> 00:19:03,702
Now, you go through
the motions, take the film,
417
00:19:03,726 --> 00:19:04,937
then tell them you need a car
418
00:19:04,961 --> 00:19:06,705
to get back to your
headquarters, right?
419
00:19:06,729 --> 00:19:07,840
Colonel. Oh, Kinch.
420
00:19:07,864 --> 00:19:09,574
London just confirmed the plan.
421
00:19:09,598 --> 00:19:11,844
They'll be picked
up by our sub tonight.
422
00:19:11,868 --> 00:19:13,700
Great, great.
Stand by the radio.
423
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,269
All right, gentlemen, look,
424
00:19:15,304 --> 00:19:18,172
you're going to take out
the documents as negatives
425
00:19:18,207 --> 00:19:19,317
inside this camera.
426
00:19:19,341 --> 00:19:21,876
But I say, what if we're caught
427
00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:23,978
and Jada gets the camera?
428
00:19:24,013 --> 00:19:26,380
Anybody tries to
open the magazine
429
00:19:26,415 --> 00:19:29,483
without first pushing
the safety... kaboom!
430
00:19:29,518 --> 00:19:31,051
I see. Understood, sir.
431
00:19:31,087 --> 00:19:33,654
Okay. Now, go out the door
casually and go about your work.
432
00:19:33,689 --> 00:19:35,355
Right you are.
433
00:19:35,391 --> 00:19:36,857
Heil Hitler.
434
00:19:36,893 --> 00:19:38,492
Heil... heil.
435
00:19:40,562 --> 00:19:41,706
A film of Stalag 13?
436
00:19:41,730 --> 00:19:43,430
Those are the orders, Colonel.
437
00:19:43,465 --> 00:19:46,600
We are making pictures of
all the prisoner of war camps
438
00:19:46,635 --> 00:19:47,834
for military archives.
439
00:19:47,870 --> 00:19:50,771
But I've heard nothing
about this from headquarters.
440
00:19:50,806 --> 00:19:52,384
Well, that is understandable.
441
00:19:52,408 --> 00:19:55,209
Things are a little confused
in Berlin these days.
442
00:19:55,244 --> 00:19:57,845
Please don't tell me any more.
443
00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,263
Yes, Hogan?
444
00:19:59,299 --> 00:20:01,176
I couldn't help
overhearing, sir.
445
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,212
This is a great
break for you, sir.
446
00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:04,201
It is?
447
00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:06,804
Oh, sure, a movie
of friendly Stalag 13,
448
00:20:06,839 --> 00:20:09,506
where never is heard
a discouraging word.
449
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,508
With lovable Commandant Klink.
450
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,889
Forget that kid in
the Sherman tank.
451
00:20:13,913 --> 00:20:14,878
Yes, yes, yes.
452
00:20:14,914 --> 00:20:16,892
This will be documentary proof
453
00:20:16,916 --> 00:20:20,684
that you've been a humane
guardian of Allied prisoners.
454
00:20:20,719 --> 00:20:21,852
Excellent.
455
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:23,687
That's an excellent idea.
456
00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:27,124
Gentlemen, you may proceed.
457
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,961
You have my fullest cooperation.
458
00:20:29,996 --> 00:20:31,276
Jawohl, Herr Colonel.
459
00:20:41,341 --> 00:20:42,974
Thank you, Colonel Klink.
460
00:20:43,009 --> 00:20:44,275
That will be fine.
461
00:20:44,310 --> 00:20:46,255
Just a minute, just a minute.
462
00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:49,880
You haven't got a complete
picture of Stalag 13 yet.
463
00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:52,350
Now, there is another side
I want you to photograph.
464
00:20:52,385 --> 00:20:53,917
Just a moment.
465
00:21:06,032 --> 00:21:07,231
Cut. Very good.
466
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:09,166
That was an
excellent idea, Colonel.
467
00:21:09,202 --> 00:21:10,801
That's all we need, thank you.
468
00:21:10,836 --> 00:21:13,170
Just a moment, just a moment.
469
00:21:13,206 --> 00:21:15,506
This is only the beginning.
470
00:21:15,541 --> 00:21:18,775
Now, let us move
the camera over there.
471
00:21:18,811 --> 00:21:20,456
Well, sir, don't overdo it.
472
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,813
If you don't mind!
473
00:21:25,851 --> 00:21:27,284
A star is born.
474
00:21:29,422 --> 00:21:30,888
After you get this shot,
475
00:21:30,923 --> 00:21:33,190
tell the ham that
you're out of film,
476
00:21:33,226 --> 00:21:35,437
you need a car,
and get out of here.
477
00:21:35,461 --> 00:21:36,960
Right you are. Yes, sir.
478
00:21:36,996 --> 00:21:37,996
Oops.
479
00:21:38,031 --> 00:21:40,131
We got trouble.
480
00:21:40,166 --> 00:21:41,910
I say, do we make a run for it?
481
00:21:41,934 --> 00:21:42,945
Don't panic.
482
00:21:42,969 --> 00:21:44,468
Play this thing by ear.
483
00:21:44,503 --> 00:21:45,580
Get out of here.
484
00:21:45,604 --> 00:21:46,671
Right-o, sir.
485
00:21:54,897 --> 00:21:57,008
What an unexpected
pleasure, Herr General.
486
00:21:57,032 --> 00:21:58,599
Just on my way back from Berlin.
487
00:21:58,634 --> 00:22:01,302
Couldn't wait to see my
little friend, Fraulein Helga.
488
00:22:01,337 --> 00:22:04,538
I thought perhaps we could
have one of your excellent dinners.
489
00:22:04,573 --> 00:22:07,508
Herr General, you have
just returned from Berlin.
490
00:22:07,543 --> 00:22:10,311
Are things really as
bad as they say they are?
491
00:22:10,346 --> 00:22:12,212
Things were never better.
492
00:22:12,248 --> 00:22:15,149
The Wilhelmstrasse
is busy with the war,
493
00:22:15,201 --> 00:22:17,768
and we are celebrating
victories on all fronts.
494
00:22:17,804 --> 00:22:19,904
But what about the
rumors? The rumors!
495
00:22:19,939 --> 00:22:23,357
Without rumors,
there would be no war.
496
00:22:23,392 --> 00:22:25,259
But the Fuhrer's
speech last night.
497
00:22:25,294 --> 00:22:27,361
He hinted there
might be negotiations.
498
00:22:27,396 --> 00:22:29,529
Perhaps it was a trial balloon.
499
00:22:29,565 --> 00:22:32,032
Hitler loves to
confuse his enemies.
500
00:22:32,085 --> 00:22:34,452
Then we're not losing the war?
501
00:22:34,487 --> 00:22:35,487
Losing?
502
00:22:36,855 --> 00:22:41,358
I've already made a hotel
reservation in London.
503
00:22:45,747 --> 00:22:47,214
Just a minute.
504
00:22:47,249 --> 00:22:49,127
There will be no more
pictures taken here.
505
00:22:49,151 --> 00:22:50,762
I will personally
destroy this film.
506
00:22:50,786 --> 00:22:51,786
Oh, wait.
507
00:22:51,821 --> 00:22:53,119
Good move.
508
00:22:53,155 --> 00:22:54,533
You know this
is probably a trick
509
00:22:54,557 --> 00:22:56,134
by the Gestapo
to test your loyalty.
510
00:22:56,158 --> 00:22:57,257
But why?
511
00:22:57,292 --> 00:22:58,337
They're jealous.
512
00:22:58,361 --> 00:22:59,760
You're too efficient.
513
00:22:59,795 --> 00:23:02,195
Here, let me take this for you.
514
00:23:07,202 --> 00:23:09,002
There, now...
515
00:23:09,037 --> 00:23:11,271
Here, take that.
516
00:23:11,306 --> 00:23:13,374
I'd get rid of these
guys if I were you.
517
00:23:13,409 --> 00:23:14,409
Exactly.
518
00:23:14,443 --> 00:23:15,443
But fast.
519
00:23:15,478 --> 00:23:17,010
Captain, you and your assistant
520
00:23:17,045 --> 00:23:18,256
get out of here at once!
521
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:20,392
But Colonel, our car broke down.
522
00:23:20,416 --> 00:23:23,050
Schultz, requisition a car and
a driver from the motor pool
523
00:23:23,085 --> 00:23:24,729
and take the Captain
and his assistant
524
00:23:24,753 --> 00:23:25,864
wherever they wish to go.
525
00:23:25,888 --> 00:23:26,999
Jawohl, Herr Commandant.
526
00:23:27,023 --> 00:23:28,739
Auf Wiedersehen, Colonel.
527
00:23:28,774 --> 00:23:29,818
Heil Hitler.
528
00:23:29,842 --> 00:23:31,258
Heil Hitler and get out.
529
00:23:32,928 --> 00:23:35,729
Imagine the nerve of these men
coming here with that camera.
530
00:23:35,764 --> 00:23:38,065
Oh, you handled it
masterfully, sir, masterfully.
531
00:23:38,100 --> 00:23:39,900
Thank you.
532
00:23:39,935 --> 00:23:43,070
Colonel Hogan, I have
decided not to play
533
00:23:43,105 --> 00:23:45,305
in your prisoners' orchestra.
534
00:23:45,341 --> 00:23:47,707
I may, however, do a solo
535
00:23:47,743 --> 00:23:50,444
over the loudspeaker system.
536
00:23:50,479 --> 00:23:51,545
Well, if I were you,
537
00:23:51,580 --> 00:23:53,680
I'd wait until the
General leaves, sir.
538
00:23:53,715 --> 00:23:54,881
Why?
539
00:23:54,917 --> 00:23:58,718
I mean how would it look, a
mass escape while he's here?
540
00:24:04,993 --> 00:24:07,845
Now, don't tell me you
can't find my violin, Schultz.
541
00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:10,514
Herr Commandant, I was
looking for it everywhere.
542
00:24:10,549 --> 00:24:13,017
You will search every
inch of this camp again,
543
00:24:13,052 --> 00:24:15,085
and you will search
it until you find it.
544
00:24:15,121 --> 00:24:16,821
Jawohl, Herr Commandant.
545
00:24:17,857 --> 00:24:18,989
Come in.
546
00:24:19,025 --> 00:24:20,357
You sent for me, Colonel?
547
00:24:20,392 --> 00:24:21,892
Yes. I'm missing my violin.
548
00:24:21,928 --> 00:24:23,027
Now, I want every...
549
00:24:23,062 --> 00:24:24,328
Not anymore, you're not.
550
00:24:24,363 --> 00:24:25,729
Why, thank you, Colonel.
551
00:24:25,764 --> 00:24:27,397
Where did you find it?
552
00:24:27,433 --> 00:24:29,099
Oh, it's a long story.
553
00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:32,602
I will personally put
this under lock and key.
554
00:24:35,274 --> 00:24:37,485
Why did you have to find it?
555
00:24:37,509 --> 00:24:40,077
Now he's going to play it again.
556
00:24:40,112 --> 00:24:43,147
If he does, he'll
have to blow into it.
38676
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof