All language subtitles for Goodnight Sweetheart s04e03 Out of Town

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,590 --> 00:00:03,210 Good night, sweetheart. 2 00:00:03,910 --> 00:00:07,790 All my prayers are for you. 3 00:00:08,029 --> 00:00:10,990 Good night, sweetheart. 4 00:00:11,410 --> 00:00:15,430 I'll be watching all you. 5 00:00:15,810 --> 00:00:21,650 Tears and parting may make us alone. 6 00:00:22,470 --> 00:00:29,230 But with the dawn, a new day is born. 7 00:00:31,930 --> 00:00:32,869 Chickens, Gary. 8 00:00:32,870 --> 00:00:36,010 And ducks and geese and pigs and cows. 9 00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:37,570 No, I've already eaten. 10 00:00:38,510 --> 00:00:40,190 And a dog called Betsy. 11 00:00:40,630 --> 00:00:42,970 No, you've lost me now. The farm, Gary. 12 00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:45,750 Mrs Carter sent me a letter confirming our booking. 13 00:00:45,970 --> 00:00:48,150 Look, she makes it sound wonderful. 14 00:00:48,750 --> 00:00:49,930 I've never seen the country. 15 00:00:50,210 --> 00:00:54,510 Well, I went to Hyde Park after the coronation. There was ducks and pigeons, 16 00:00:54,510 --> 00:00:55,209 bit of mud. 17 00:00:55,210 --> 00:00:56,770 I had some brown that had gone off. 18 00:00:57,800 --> 00:00:59,340 Quite a nice day out, by and large. 19 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:01,240 Nothing wrong is there. 20 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:04,959 You're not going to tell me there's a flap on and we can't... No, no, no, no, 21 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:05,759 nothing like that. 22 00:01:05,760 --> 00:01:08,680 Because it was your idea, if you remember, what with all this leave 23 00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:09,479 given you. 24 00:01:09,480 --> 00:01:12,040 Yes, and we're spending it at Mrs Carter's. 25 00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:17,660 Just us in a farmhouse with cows and sheep and pigs and geese and chickens, a 26 00:01:17,660 --> 00:01:21,000 big feather bed with an eiderdown quilt and no reason to get up in the morning. 27 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:22,380 You ever wondered how many there are? 28 00:01:24,120 --> 00:01:25,120 Walks in the countryside. 29 00:01:25,790 --> 00:01:28,490 The cows coming home to be milked? Must be millions. 30 00:01:28,890 --> 00:01:32,510 I seem to remember on our last trip to the countryside, you thought all cows 31 00:01:32,510 --> 00:01:35,990 were bulls, bats flew into your hair, and we're in constant danger of a sheep 32 00:01:35,990 --> 00:01:37,830 attack. Forget them, that's the question. 33 00:01:38,190 --> 00:01:41,770 I also seem to remember on our last trip to the countryside that something 34 00:01:41,770 --> 00:01:43,390 happened that hadn't happened before. 35 00:01:43,670 --> 00:01:45,390 I mean, how did they get hold of them? 36 00:01:46,710 --> 00:01:49,510 And it is important to celebrate anniversaries. 37 00:01:50,090 --> 00:01:52,110 Slightest draft all over the shop, it's my experience. 38 00:01:52,750 --> 00:01:54,190 What? Feathers. 39 00:01:54,780 --> 00:01:55,780 In a feather bed. 40 00:01:56,560 --> 00:01:59,040 How many are there and how do they get hold of them? 41 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:00,680 I just wondered. 42 00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:07,040 Um, Mr and Mrs Sparrow, it says here. 43 00:02:07,300 --> 00:02:09,560 Well, I didn't fancy separate rooms. 44 00:02:10,419 --> 00:02:11,420 Oh, right. 45 00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:16,340 No, Gary, not while I'm... Not with the baby. 46 00:02:16,940 --> 00:02:21,300 Phoebe, I keep telling you, it's... Ask a doctor if it's all right. Gary! 47 00:02:22,090 --> 00:02:24,870 That is not the sort of thing a woman can talk to a doctor about. 48 00:02:33,670 --> 00:02:34,670 Yvonne! 49 00:02:39,930 --> 00:02:40,930 Yvonne! 50 00:02:44,190 --> 00:02:46,170 Franklin, Gary, dangerous to lift heavy loads. 51 00:02:46,690 --> 00:02:50,310 I thought I'd be here to help. And here you are, ready and willing and half an 52 00:02:50,310 --> 00:02:51,310 hour late. 53 00:02:51,660 --> 00:02:54,960 Oh, come on, Yvonne. You'd still be checking in early if you went to the 54 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:55,960 by milk float. 55 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:57,480 You're right. 56 00:02:57,620 --> 00:02:59,380 I'm sorry, I'm always the same. 57 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:00,698 You are, yeah. 58 00:03:00,700 --> 00:03:03,160 Even when we got married, you arrived at the church before me. 59 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:04,600 I arrived before the congregation. 60 00:03:05,860 --> 00:03:07,240 Halfway through the previous wedding. 61 00:03:08,380 --> 00:03:10,320 I'm really going to miss you. 62 00:03:12,420 --> 00:03:14,000 And I'm feeling much better. 63 00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:15,640 Oh. 64 00:03:15,860 --> 00:03:17,900 But we can't. The taxi will be here in ten minutes. 65 00:03:18,420 --> 00:03:19,740 Well, no, I'm in ten minutes. 66 00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:21,900 Seek when I get home. 67 00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:24,600 And make sure you do save it. 68 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:27,500 Yvonne, I couldn't be unfaithful to you. 69 00:03:27,860 --> 00:03:28,860 Promise? 70 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:30,480 Well, never in your lifetime. 71 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,800 Look, let me take you to the airport. 72 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:37,120 It's got wheels. 73 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:39,360 They'll be porters, don't fuss. 74 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,580 Oh, I hate all that tannoy and tears palaver. 75 00:03:43,580 --> 00:03:44,900 I'll ring when I get there. 76 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:46,560 I'll ring every day. 77 00:03:46,980 --> 00:03:49,420 7am my time, that's about 11 o 'clock at night for you. 78 00:03:50,220 --> 00:03:51,220 Right. 79 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,940 Well, you will be here, won't you? I'll be lonely. 80 00:03:54,600 --> 00:03:55,660 Yeah, of course I will. 81 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:59,600 Just me and the telly and my sad little vindaloo. 82 00:04:28,680 --> 00:04:29,800 You can come in now. It's ready. 83 00:04:33,600 --> 00:04:35,680 One there, one there. Boy, boy. 84 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:37,200 A dirt, is it? 85 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:38,600 Tet, tet, tet. 86 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:39,960 That's right. 87 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:44,420 Well, chicken tikka masala, Rogan Josh. Or is it eyeball to eyeball? 88 00:04:45,860 --> 00:04:50,060 Lampasanda, king prawn dindaloo, sag bhaji, aloo gobi. Just ask, Gary. 89 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:55,980 Peeler ice, pickle, naan, carbonated water, a robust shiraz from down under, 90 00:04:55,980 --> 00:04:57,660 I need you to do me a favour. I thought you might. 91 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:01,440 So, Yvonne is in Korea, right? I've promised Phoebe a holiday, right? 92 00:05:01,660 --> 00:05:05,460 Now, I'm going to be in 1942 for a week. Cut off in the most fundamental way 93 00:05:05,460 --> 00:05:08,960 possible, since now hasn't happened yet, if you see what I mean. Oh, I see what 94 00:05:08,960 --> 00:05:10,880 you mean. In fact, I saw it coming. 95 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:15,700 The problem, unless I'm much mistaken, is that Yvonne, homesick and 96 00:05:15,700 --> 00:05:19,980 disorientated, missing all things truly British, like traffic wardens, negative 97 00:05:19,980 --> 00:05:24,120 football, chicken masala, and who knows, even missing you. 98 00:05:24,660 --> 00:05:29,420 That same Yvonne, poor little alien... creature will be thudding home quite a 99 00:05:29,420 --> 00:05:32,960 lot. Every morning from tomorrow at seven her time, which is eleven in the 100 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:35,180 evening here, which doesn't make much difference one way or the other because 101 00:05:35,180 --> 00:05:37,740 I'm going to be on holiday five decades ago. With your pregnant lover? 102 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:40,780 Yeah. Sir, this food is delicious. 103 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:42,640 Did you switch the oven on yourself? 104 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:46,420 Sir, Ron. The wine is a triumph. 105 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,620 Ron. The water's so sparkling. 106 00:05:48,900 --> 00:05:49,900 Ron. No. 107 00:05:49,940 --> 00:05:55,280 You don't even know... You've worked out some system. 108 00:05:55,820 --> 00:05:59,000 where you can go away for a week with Phoebe without letting Yvonne know 109 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:02,520 not here, despite the fact that she'll be phoning every evening at 11 o 'clock 110 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:03,900 expecting you to take the call. 111 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:11,140 I can't imagine what you've devised, but I suspect it involves someone tying 112 00:06:11,140 --> 00:06:12,200 himself in knots. 113 00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,040 That will be you. 114 00:06:14,640 --> 00:06:16,160 Not me, OK? 115 00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:17,800 Not me. 116 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:21,140 Not... Mm -mm. 117 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:35,820 Typical boys' night in, you know. A few drinks, curry. 118 00:06:36,900 --> 00:06:37,900 Big match. 119 00:06:50,020 --> 00:06:51,020 Deal? 120 00:06:52,640 --> 00:06:53,640 Deal. 121 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:57,400 Hello. 122 00:06:58,100 --> 00:06:59,100 No, it's not. 123 00:06:59,780 --> 00:07:00,780 Yes, it is. 124 00:07:01,980 --> 00:07:02,980 Yes, he is. 125 00:07:03,610 --> 00:07:04,690 No, you can't. 126 00:07:05,750 --> 00:07:06,810 No, not drunk. 127 00:07:07,930 --> 00:07:09,430 We did go out to the pub, though. 128 00:07:09,870 --> 00:07:13,950 There was this girl in the bar. She works as an exotic dancer. Well, she was 129 00:07:13,950 --> 00:07:17,370 bit fed up because her python's on the blink, so Gary asked her back. 130 00:07:19,770 --> 00:07:22,250 On the way, we stopped off for a curry. 131 00:07:22,670 --> 00:07:26,850 The poor girl spilled some down her halter top, so Gary's taken her upstairs 132 00:07:26,850 --> 00:07:28,810 with a damp sponge and a stick of manage. 133 00:07:32,650 --> 00:07:34,070 Of course it's not true, Yvonne. 134 00:07:34,830 --> 00:07:36,110 He's got laryngitis. 135 00:07:37,510 --> 00:07:38,530 No, he can't. 136 00:07:39,270 --> 00:07:40,270 Not at all. 137 00:07:41,010 --> 00:07:42,130 Not a squeak. 138 00:07:42,850 --> 00:07:44,090 Barely a gasp. 139 00:07:45,010 --> 00:07:47,750 So, I'll be here every evening to be your go -between. 140 00:07:48,590 --> 00:07:51,810 I'm moving in to look after him and I'll be here to take your call. 141 00:07:52,410 --> 00:07:54,850 You just tell me what you want to say to Gary and I'll pass it on. 142 00:07:55,570 --> 00:07:59,370 He'll write down his answer on a piece of paper and I'll tell you what he said. 143 00:08:01,590 --> 00:08:03,430 No, Gary can't listen. I have to listen. 144 00:08:04,950 --> 00:08:07,550 Because I have to hear both sides of the conversation, Yvonne. 145 00:08:10,030 --> 00:08:11,130 In what way embarrassing? 146 00:08:14,110 --> 00:08:15,790 Well, supposing you wanted to say what? 147 00:08:18,670 --> 00:08:19,910 Or something like what? 148 00:08:21,610 --> 00:08:23,190 Well, I can tell him that, Yvonne. 149 00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:25,970 Yvonne, I can tell him that. 150 00:08:27,010 --> 00:08:28,690 All right, I'll forget you said it. 151 00:08:29,230 --> 00:08:30,490 I said I... Hello? 152 00:08:32,720 --> 00:08:36,240 I think she's hung up. What was it she said you couldn't tell me and you said 153 00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:38,539 you could and she said forget I said it and you said all right? 154 00:08:39,659 --> 00:08:41,299 I think it must have been in code. 155 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:45,320 She said nothing's nicer than knobby knobbit. 156 00:08:49,860 --> 00:08:51,200 Mean anything to you? 157 00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:57,800 Um... No, absolutely nothing. 158 00:08:58,480 --> 00:09:04,250 So, I move in. What? whilst I'm with Phoebe. Field all Yvonne's calls, 159 00:09:04,250 --> 00:09:08,270 you're here, make up your side of the conversation, and try not to laugh if 160 00:09:08,270 --> 00:09:09,270 mentions knobby -nobby. 161 00:09:11,050 --> 00:09:12,050 Come on, then. 162 00:09:13,230 --> 00:09:14,230 Come on! 163 00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:20,510 The Beatles hit their very first EP. 164 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:24,550 Now, that was handed down to me by my Uncle Gerald. That's practically a 165 00:09:24,550 --> 00:09:28,190 heirloom. I don't think you were interested in Beatles memorabilia, 166 00:09:28,510 --> 00:09:30,030 I'm not, but I know a man who is. 167 00:09:30,730 --> 00:09:36,670 I can swap this for a limited edition photograph of Sharon Stone, signed 168 00:09:36,670 --> 00:09:37,670 the bottom. 169 00:09:39,230 --> 00:09:41,690 Anyway, I'm going to go off and pack a few things. 170 00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:43,930 I'll be back in about half an hour. 171 00:09:44,330 --> 00:09:48,030 Tonight? Why? Well, you've got beer in and there's no padlock on your fridge. 172 00:09:55,130 --> 00:09:56,130 Oh, great. 173 00:09:56,410 --> 00:09:58,210 It's lost the spare set of keys already. 174 00:10:03,250 --> 00:10:05,010 Dad? Where have you been? 175 00:10:06,270 --> 00:10:07,730 I've been phoning for days. 176 00:10:09,490 --> 00:10:10,790 Why didn't you leave a message? 177 00:10:11,130 --> 00:10:12,690 Oh, I don't trust those things. 178 00:10:13,630 --> 00:10:14,890 Well, can I come in? 179 00:10:15,870 --> 00:10:16,870 Yeah, yeah. 180 00:10:20,650 --> 00:10:23,090 There's a philatelist convention at Olympia. 181 00:10:23,970 --> 00:10:27,550 I've got the time off work and your mother's agreed to do her own ironing. 182 00:10:30,510 --> 00:10:33,430 I go hunting for stamps with 3 ,000 other anoraks. 183 00:10:34,430 --> 00:10:35,430 Evenings are free. 184 00:10:35,770 --> 00:10:36,770 For us. 185 00:10:37,150 --> 00:10:39,530 You know, a bit of a drink, a bit of a chat, fish and chips. 186 00:10:40,010 --> 00:10:42,430 A bit of, how are you, how am I? 187 00:10:44,090 --> 00:10:45,870 Don't worry, I'll find a hotel. 188 00:10:46,450 --> 00:10:49,810 No, no, no, no, no. You must stay here, of course. Don't be silly. No, I was 189 00:10:49,810 --> 00:10:51,530 just surprised to see you, that's all. 190 00:10:51,850 --> 00:10:54,910 How long are you down for? Just tonight, is it? No, till Friday. 191 00:10:55,410 --> 00:10:58,650 Oh, right, it's just... Warranty I just cleared up, then, is it? 192 00:10:59,130 --> 00:11:01,070 Oh, well, it comes and goes. 193 00:11:01,730 --> 00:11:05,450 Have you met my dad? This is my dad, George. This is my friend, Ron. He's 194 00:11:05,450 --> 00:11:08,450 staying here at the moment because of severe marital aggravation. 195 00:11:08,750 --> 00:11:10,150 Thank you, old and trusted friend. 196 00:11:11,230 --> 00:11:12,970 I'm sorry to hear that, son. What's wrong? 197 00:11:13,210 --> 00:11:14,210 My wife hates me. 198 00:11:15,890 --> 00:11:18,790 Well, that wouldn't make for a tremendously happy marriage, would it? 199 00:11:19,350 --> 00:11:23,410 Dad's in London for a philatelist convention, and he's staying here. 200 00:11:24,290 --> 00:11:25,310 Of course he is. 201 00:11:25,730 --> 00:11:26,730 Naturally. 202 00:11:27,790 --> 00:11:31,910 See, thing is, Dad, well, I'm going away for a week. I'll leave the day after 203 00:11:31,910 --> 00:11:33,750 tomorrow. It's a buying trip. 204 00:11:33,950 --> 00:11:35,890 Oh, surely you can't delay it. 205 00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:40,830 Well, no, cos there's this guy, he's got some stuff, you know, really good 206 00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:41,830 stuff. Stamps. 207 00:11:42,110 --> 00:11:45,670 World War II stamps, actually, amongst other things. He's sending some down on 208 00:11:45,670 --> 00:11:47,870 spec. They should be here by tomorrow. Perhaps you could have a look. 209 00:11:48,190 --> 00:11:49,410 Well, it's just for a day or two, then. 210 00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:52,870 Well, no, because he lives in... Hebrides. 211 00:11:53,090 --> 00:11:54,090 In the Hebrides. 212 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:58,240 Oh, it's a terrible trip. It's a plane, car... Boat. 213 00:11:58,580 --> 00:11:59,580 Boat, yes. 214 00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:03,540 Possible bad weather, you know, then I've got to look the stuff over, then 215 00:12:03,540 --> 00:12:06,780 boat back, car, plane... Bad traffic hangar, eh? 216 00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:13,040 Yeah, I've... I've allowed the best part of a week. Well, a week, more or less. 217 00:12:13,180 --> 00:12:14,180 Well, no, a week. 218 00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:15,900 Paspolitan! 219 00:12:16,660 --> 00:12:19,800 Oh, well. 220 00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:23,800 I think I'll get off to bed, Gary, if that's all right. 221 00:12:24,820 --> 00:12:25,820 It's been a long day. 222 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:28,840 Spare room at the back, isn't it? Yeah. 223 00:12:29,140 --> 00:12:30,140 Can I bring you anything? 224 00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:31,380 No, thanks, son. 225 00:12:31,480 --> 00:12:32,480 I'll be all right. 226 00:12:33,700 --> 00:12:35,380 Well, it's really great to see you. 227 00:12:36,540 --> 00:12:37,540 Is it? 228 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:42,320 If your dad's staying in the spare room, where am I going to sleep tonight? 229 00:12:42,840 --> 00:12:45,680 Tonight we don't sleep, Ron. Tonight we worry. 230 00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:53,340 Oh, and another thing. Watch that phone like a hawk. 231 00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:55,260 Dad gets to it first, I'm sunk. 232 00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:58,080 Don't worry. Any danger of that, I'll switch it to answer. 233 00:12:58,600 --> 00:13:01,440 No, you go and enjoy your rural idyll with Phoebe. 234 00:13:01,780 --> 00:13:04,140 Ron, I can't. You saw the look on his face. 235 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:05,760 Abject misery. 236 00:13:05,780 --> 00:13:07,280 The look of a father betrayed. 237 00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:09,800 I'll just square it with Phoebe. 238 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,040 Oh. 239 00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:13,140 All right, you're Phoebe, OK? 240 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:14,960 Phoebe. What? 241 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:16,280 You're Phoebe. 242 00:13:16,420 --> 00:13:17,560 I'm rehearsing an excuse. 243 00:13:17,780 --> 00:13:18,880 You have to give me Phoebe's reaction. 244 00:13:20,330 --> 00:13:25,010 Right. Phoebe, you know you said you hoped I wouldn't say there was a flap on 245 00:13:25,010 --> 00:13:26,550 work and we're going to have to cancel the holiday. 246 00:13:27,190 --> 00:13:32,550 Well, there's a flap on at work... You're right, you're right. I'm going to 247 00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:33,670 to come up with something better than that. 248 00:13:35,030 --> 00:13:36,930 Oh, I'm going to turn in. 249 00:13:37,370 --> 00:13:38,370 Where do I sleep? 250 00:13:38,870 --> 00:13:39,870 On the sofa. 251 00:13:40,390 --> 00:13:42,550 Unless you prefer the marital bed. 252 00:13:43,110 --> 00:13:45,070 Nah, you can have the sofa. 253 00:13:45,610 --> 00:13:47,050 I'll have the marital bed. 254 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:51,600 I hope no -one sees me doing this in uniform. 255 00:13:52,060 --> 00:13:53,060 You all right, Gary? 256 00:13:53,200 --> 00:13:54,840 Yeah, just a bit sore. 257 00:13:55,100 --> 00:13:56,420 Slept in a funny position. 258 00:13:57,300 --> 00:14:01,480 Anyway, look, the meteorological boys are never wrong. Never. Not with an ever 259 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:04,280 -present danger of an invasion. No, they have to be right. 260 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:05,860 He's right, Phoebe. They have to. 261 00:14:06,330 --> 00:14:09,610 And I have it on the best authority that the weather for Kent next week is 262 00:14:09,610 --> 00:14:13,450 persistent rain, gale force winds and a threat of sleet. Now, that's what the 263 00:14:13,450 --> 00:14:17,210 boys at the Met told me. Always accurate, the Met. Shut up, Reg. No. 264 00:14:17,550 --> 00:14:20,010 Look, why not postpone it until the following week? No. 265 00:14:20,450 --> 00:14:24,250 I've rearranged the brewery, Reg is taking a week's leave to look after 266 00:14:24,450 --> 00:14:27,950 the farm's booked and I've borrowed Violet's turquoise gabardine with a 267 00:14:27,950 --> 00:14:32,950 trim. The Met boys know their stuff, Phoebe. And that's that. Shut up, Reg. 268 00:14:33,710 --> 00:14:37,830 Well... The other thing is that, well, I've been in contact with the office and 269 00:14:37,830 --> 00:14:40,690 they reckon next week there might be a bit of a flap on, so I thought that 270 00:14:40,690 --> 00:14:41,690 maybe... And? 271 00:14:41,970 --> 00:14:47,070 And it won't be much of a flap. It's a very small flap and they won't need me. 272 00:14:52,850 --> 00:14:59,070 What's that? 273 00:14:59,390 --> 00:15:00,390 Rub and flat current. 274 00:15:00,590 --> 00:15:01,910 It's just a job for a bad throat. 275 00:15:02,430 --> 00:15:03,430 Oh. 276 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:10,080 Ah, what's this? 277 00:15:10,360 --> 00:15:12,640 That is a ticket for the three -tenner for tonight. 278 00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:13,920 Where's the rate? 279 00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:15,440 Gary! 280 00:15:16,420 --> 00:15:17,420 That's amazing! 281 00:15:18,620 --> 00:15:20,480 This must have cost you an arm and a leg. 282 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:22,900 Yeah, well, both legs, actually, but it's worth it. 283 00:15:23,540 --> 00:15:24,540 You're worth it. 284 00:15:25,340 --> 00:15:26,580 You're a one -off, you are. 285 00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:29,280 Cheers. Cheers. 286 00:15:32,330 --> 00:15:35,810 You know, if you recognise the East End today, you're still back -to -backs 287 00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:37,150 round here when I was growing up. 288 00:15:37,430 --> 00:15:39,510 Labs up the garden and street cricket. 289 00:15:39,750 --> 00:15:40,750 Look at it now. 290 00:15:41,090 --> 00:15:44,030 Mile -high offices full of blokes in braces doing deals. 291 00:15:44,530 --> 00:15:47,170 A pint, a fish supper and change from two bob. 292 00:15:47,390 --> 00:15:50,810 You can always borrow a cup of sugar. No -one ever locked their doors and summer 293 00:15:50,810 --> 00:15:54,070 lasted half the year, eh? No, I never said it was much fun. 294 00:15:54,450 --> 00:15:55,450 Just different. 295 00:15:57,160 --> 00:16:00,840 Dad, I'm sorry about this week, about not being able to change the 296 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:02,120 Ah, never mind. 297 00:16:02,460 --> 00:16:03,460 Next time, eh? 298 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:06,640 Strange coming back. 299 00:16:07,380 --> 00:16:08,380 Everything changed. 300 00:16:10,540 --> 00:16:11,940 You know, I never told you. 301 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:13,900 Never told no -one. 302 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,160 Something very odd happened to me round here. 303 00:16:18,420 --> 00:16:20,100 It was back when I was odd jobby. 304 00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:21,580 Plumbing, mostly. 305 00:16:22,860 --> 00:16:25,040 I got a call out to a house round here. 306 00:16:25,910 --> 00:16:26,970 Couldn't find the place. 307 00:16:28,110 --> 00:16:31,290 Drove up and down for about half an hour, looked at the street map, you 308 00:16:32,330 --> 00:16:36,330 Finally, I asked his copper if he knew where it was. Yeah, he says, it's just 309 00:16:36,330 --> 00:16:37,330 down that alleyway. 310 00:16:37,870 --> 00:16:39,590 You won't get the van down there. 311 00:16:40,010 --> 00:16:41,010 You'll have to walk. 312 00:16:43,610 --> 00:16:44,610 What happened? 313 00:16:45,270 --> 00:16:46,270 Strangest thing. 314 00:16:47,130 --> 00:16:48,730 Still haunts me now when I think of it. 315 00:16:49,610 --> 00:16:50,610 What? 316 00:16:50,790 --> 00:16:52,710 I walked down the alley. 317 00:16:53,250 --> 00:16:54,870 It was a pub, I remember that. 318 00:16:55,850 --> 00:16:58,830 And I don't know, everything seemed different, looked different. 319 00:16:59,270 --> 00:17:02,750 But at first, I couldn't quite see how or why. 320 00:17:04,069 --> 00:17:06,390 I walked toward the address. 321 00:17:07,829 --> 00:17:12,109 And I thought, this isn't the 1960s. 322 00:17:12,790 --> 00:17:14,869 This is the 1860s. 323 00:17:15,490 --> 00:17:17,869 I'm in the bloody Victorian age. 324 00:17:18,290 --> 00:17:19,770 Well, who did you meet there? Did you meet anyone? 325 00:17:20,030 --> 00:17:22,970 Did you keep going back and have a different life there with different 326 00:17:23,490 --> 00:17:24,589 Was there anyone special? 327 00:17:25,579 --> 00:17:27,500 I can't take this in. What are you on about? 328 00:17:28,140 --> 00:17:29,820 Victorian England. You went back. 329 00:17:31,460 --> 00:17:32,460 It's a family thing. 330 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:33,880 Of course. 331 00:17:33,980 --> 00:17:35,760 Father to son. It's in the genes. 332 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,860 Dad, I can go back. Go back where? 333 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:41,460 I'm losing track. 334 00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:43,480 Well, Victorian times. 335 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:45,020 You said you went back. Yeah. 336 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:46,940 Well, that's the way it seemed, all right. 337 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:51,080 Dirt and poverty. Kids with no shoes. Men out of work. It wasn't the swinging 338 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:52,080 60s round here. 339 00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:56,060 If it hadn't have been for the telly aerials and Billy J. Kramer on the 340 00:17:56,160 --> 00:17:57,460 it could have been the bad old days. 341 00:17:58,460 --> 00:18:00,840 What do you mean about going back? 342 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,000 Huh? 343 00:18:04,380 --> 00:18:05,540 It's a mistake, isn't it? 344 00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,820 It's like this place. It's a mistake to go back. 345 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:11,660 Yeah. The past is the past, isn't it? 346 00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:13,600 Sometimes. 347 00:18:17,760 --> 00:18:19,700 Oh, right on time. 348 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,780 It's so nice when you can come home for tea. 349 00:18:24,260 --> 00:18:25,260 Just like a husband. 350 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:27,380 Just like we was married. 351 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:30,940 Well, I will have to pop back later on. 352 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:32,800 No, you won't. 353 00:18:33,260 --> 00:18:37,540 Yeah, I will, because, um... Well, I've left my binoculars in the office. 354 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,000 You remember last time? 355 00:18:39,220 --> 00:18:42,100 All that worry about whether that was a cow or a bull in the field? 356 00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:46,240 You standing on your head trying to count the danglies from 50 yards away? 357 00:18:47,080 --> 00:18:50,820 Well, this way, pair of binoculars. Have a shifty, number one. Is that udder or 358 00:18:50,820 --> 00:18:51,820 rudder? 359 00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:54,620 Very thoughtful, Gary, but you won't be needing them. 360 00:18:54,840 --> 00:19:00,200 Now, it's mutton stew and dumplings, mashed sweet, treacle pudding and 361 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,120 for later, and a glass of milk stout. 362 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:03,480 Good for the baby. 363 00:19:05,620 --> 00:19:06,620 Won't be needing them. 364 00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:08,180 Not yet, anyway. 365 00:19:08,880 --> 00:19:13,500 I thought about what you said, Gary, what the Met boys said, and I don't want 366 00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:18,020 spend our first ever holiday sitting inside watching the weather. So, I 367 00:19:18,020 --> 00:19:19,480 Mrs Carter and changed our week. 368 00:19:20,330 --> 00:19:25,070 She's not exactly fully booked with the war on. So, we'll go next week, like you 369 00:19:25,070 --> 00:19:26,070 suggested. 370 00:19:26,730 --> 00:19:28,890 Sunshine and babbling brook. 371 00:19:29,630 --> 00:19:30,630 Lovely. 372 00:19:32,430 --> 00:19:33,750 You said it was impossible. 373 00:19:34,110 --> 00:19:35,330 Well, it wasn't easy. 374 00:19:35,870 --> 00:19:38,990 Changing the brewery delivery times, Reg changing his leave. 375 00:19:39,570 --> 00:19:41,790 But nothing's going to spoil this holiday, Gary. 376 00:19:43,890 --> 00:19:44,890 Aren't you pleased? 377 00:19:45,090 --> 00:19:49,230 Yeah, yeah, really pleased. But I will have to pop back tonight, Phoebe. 378 00:19:51,180 --> 00:19:52,840 Bit of a flap on, is there? 379 00:19:53,940 --> 00:19:55,780 A bit of a flap, yeah. 380 00:19:57,440 --> 00:19:58,680 Well, never mind. 381 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:03,360 In a week's time, we'll be miles away. No pub, no flap. 382 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:06,780 Just you and me and a week of glorious weather. 383 00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:08,560 Guaranteed by the Met Office. 384 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:15,520 One for the road. 385 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,420 No. Yes, 386 00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:19,240 big one. 387 00:20:20,650 --> 00:20:23,070 She was dead against it, but I talked around. 388 00:20:24,550 --> 00:20:25,550 Thanks, Reg. 389 00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:28,110 No, she said, I've made the arrangements. 390 00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:29,470 It's all fixed. 391 00:20:30,110 --> 00:20:33,150 The Met Boys are never wrong, I said. 392 00:20:33,870 --> 00:20:34,870 Well done, Reg. 393 00:20:35,170 --> 00:20:39,070 Me mind's made up, she said. I've got them to agree to next week, and next 394 00:20:39,070 --> 00:20:45,510 it will be wind and rain and possible sleep, I said. 395 00:20:46,490 --> 00:20:47,490 You're a real... 396 00:20:47,630 --> 00:20:48,630 Friend, Reg. 397 00:20:48,650 --> 00:20:50,070 Yeah, I talked her round. 398 00:20:50,370 --> 00:20:51,189 Wasn't easy. 399 00:20:51,190 --> 00:20:54,370 I had to keep at it, but I wore her down in the end. 400 00:20:54,990 --> 00:20:56,490 What would I do without you, eh? 401 00:20:57,850 --> 00:21:02,890 Ten bobs, half -crowned, bobs, crutney, tutney, and a half -crowned book of a 402 00:21:02,890 --> 00:21:03,890 tautney. 403 00:21:03,930 --> 00:21:04,930 What? 404 00:21:05,130 --> 00:21:06,410 Five quid's worth of areas. 405 00:21:07,290 --> 00:21:08,690 You asked me to get you some. 406 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,280 So what did you tell your dad? 407 00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:21,980 I just told him that the weather forecast for the Hebrides was appalling 408 00:21:21,980 --> 00:21:23,460 been advised to leave it until next week. 409 00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:24,920 Useful stuff, weather. 410 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,000 So he's chuffed. 411 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:27,440 Where is he anyway? 412 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:31,120 He's watching the three tenors, which is about as much change as I got from a 413 00:21:31,120 --> 00:21:32,120 hundred quid. 414 00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:35,780 So is your laryngitis going to last a fortnight or do I tell you all night 415 00:21:35,780 --> 00:21:36,780 you've been struck by lightning? 416 00:21:37,300 --> 00:21:39,960 No, I'll recover briefly and then have a relapse next week. 417 00:21:40,520 --> 00:21:42,200 You're a hero, really, you know that. 418 00:21:42,660 --> 00:21:43,660 What? 419 00:21:43,790 --> 00:21:48,210 High wire artists, lion tamers, members of the SAS, pearl divers. 420 00:21:48,650 --> 00:21:52,410 None of them can match the sheer nerve and resourcefulness of a man living a 421 00:21:52,410 --> 00:21:53,930 double life. It must be hell. 422 00:21:54,190 --> 00:21:57,090 It is. Apart from the nookie. Oh, yeah, 423 00:21:58,470 --> 00:21:59,469 I'd forgotten. 424 00:21:59,470 --> 00:22:00,470 My God. 425 00:22:01,110 --> 00:22:06,190 Endless deceit, terrifying schedules, back and forth across the time warp like 426 00:22:06,190 --> 00:22:09,470 ping with two pongs, and nothing in it for knobby knobbits. 427 00:22:11,850 --> 00:22:12,890 That'll be for you. 428 00:22:24,110 --> 00:22:26,270 No, it's a bit better. It's coming back. 429 00:22:26,650 --> 00:22:27,650 How are you? 430 00:22:28,810 --> 00:22:29,810 Are you? 431 00:22:31,090 --> 00:22:32,090 Are you? 432 00:22:33,930 --> 00:22:34,930 Are you? 433 00:22:37,530 --> 00:22:38,530 Are you? 434 00:22:39,770 --> 00:22:40,770 Are you? 435 00:22:41,790 --> 00:22:43,790 She's coming home next week. 436 00:22:45,010 --> 00:22:47,970 No, Yvonne, you can't come home next week. 437 00:22:48,790 --> 00:22:49,790 Why not? 438 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:56,240 The firm. 439 00:22:56,980 --> 00:22:58,920 Maternity leave, prospects of promotion. 440 00:23:00,940 --> 00:23:02,340 Yeah, yeah, of course I do. 441 00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:04,700 Of course I do. 442 00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:08,020 Of course I do. 443 00:23:09,660 --> 00:23:13,380 Of course I understand. You're homesick, you're miserable, and raw fish makes 444 00:23:13,380 --> 00:23:15,120 you want to throw up. I understand that. 445 00:23:17,380 --> 00:23:22,060 No, no, Yvonne, if you've made your mind up, then... OK. 446 00:23:23,980 --> 00:23:24,980 OK. 447 00:23:29,040 --> 00:23:31,320 Okay. So does Nubby Nubbit, okay? 448 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:33,920 Fed up, 449 00:23:35,620 --> 00:23:37,940 homesick, returning a week early. 450 00:23:38,540 --> 00:23:44,100 When you're either in Kent, 1940s, laughs, lambs and cowpats, or in the 451 00:23:44,100 --> 00:23:47,700 Hebrides, bargaining for wartime stamps, depending on your point of view. 452 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:51,080 But not in Cricklewood, 1990s. 453 00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:53,880 You've got a problem here, mate. 454 00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:56,400 Mega problem. 455 00:23:56,700 --> 00:23:58,020 Epic problem. 456 00:23:58,800 --> 00:23:59,840 Humongous problem. 457 00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:03,800 Solar systems rushing towards each other. Collision inevitable. 458 00:24:04,100 --> 00:24:06,340 Fast interstellar universe destroying explosion. 459 00:24:07,260 --> 00:24:08,900 Sort of a problem, really. 460 00:24:10,180 --> 00:24:11,760 Thanks, Ron. You're a big help. 461 00:24:14,780 --> 00:24:15,780 Oh, 462 00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:21,120 great evening. Thanks, Gary. I really enjoy myself. 463 00:24:25,900 --> 00:24:26,900 Yes, sir? 464 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:32,200 I'm very pleased you're having a good time. 465 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:36,000 Ron. 466 00:24:37,620 --> 00:24:39,420 Ron! I can't believe you! 467 00:24:40,700 --> 00:24:43,380 What time is it? 468 00:24:43,700 --> 00:24:44,840 Um, dawn. 469 00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:47,500 I want you to print something for me. What is it? 470 00:24:48,140 --> 00:24:52,760 MI5's top -secret meteorological report for the week commencing 16th June 1942. 471 00:24:53,420 --> 00:24:57,880 In contrast, the following week, formerly expected to herald fair 472 00:24:57,880 --> 00:25:02,560 now certain to be stormy, with heavy rain and gale -force winds in many 473 00:25:02,660 --> 00:25:04,960 especially Middlesex, Sussex and Kent. 474 00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:07,380 I don't believe it! 475 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:08,980 Freak weather conditions. 476 00:25:09,220 --> 00:25:10,340 Impossible to foresee. 477 00:25:10,700 --> 00:25:11,920 Never wrong them it, boys. 478 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:17,380 What are we going to do, Gary? Everything's arranged for next week. 479 00:25:18,500 --> 00:25:21,940 Right. Reg, get on that phone. Tell them you want this week off after all. 480 00:25:22,940 --> 00:25:27,280 Phoebe, I'm not spending our first real holiday, our very first and probably our 481 00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:31,280 last until the war ends, the holiday we have both dreamt about, cooped up 482 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:33,360 indoors watching cows swim for the high ground. 483 00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:37,240 So I'll phone Mrs Carter and tell her we're on our way. She hasn't got any 484 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:38,440 bookings. You said so yourself. 485 00:25:38,980 --> 00:25:41,800 Reg can deal with the brewers, men. It's only a matter of heaving a few barrels 486 00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:43,080 of beer into the cellar. OK? 487 00:25:43,420 --> 00:25:44,420 OK, go and get packed. 488 00:25:44,730 --> 00:25:46,350 Gary. Go and get packed. 489 00:25:47,730 --> 00:25:48,730 Yes, Gary. 490 00:25:53,610 --> 00:25:55,190 I spoke to me, Sergeant. 491 00:25:55,410 --> 00:25:58,330 He said it doesn't matter to him whether I take this week or next on account of 492 00:25:58,330 --> 00:26:00,770 the fact when I'm not around it's the same as when I'm here and when I am 493 00:26:00,770 --> 00:26:01,770 there's no difference. 494 00:26:02,930 --> 00:26:04,250 I think that's what he said. 495 00:26:04,930 --> 00:26:06,270 That sounds about right. 496 00:26:24,810 --> 00:26:25,970 Did you get Gary's note? 497 00:26:26,230 --> 00:26:27,930 Yeah, he left it on my bedside table. 498 00:26:28,130 --> 00:26:31,850 Sorry, but he had to go after all. Freak conditions over the southern Atlantic. 499 00:26:32,130 --> 00:26:33,130 Tricky stuff, weather. 500 00:26:33,330 --> 00:26:34,330 And you're celebrating? 501 00:26:34,470 --> 00:26:38,830 He left me a little present to say sorry kind of thing. World War II stamps. 502 00:26:39,330 --> 00:26:43,630 That's nice. Ooh, bloody right. Including a half -crowned book of 503 00:26:43,630 --> 00:26:44,630 the Tappanies. 504 00:26:45,690 --> 00:26:49,020 Imperforated the whole plane and it... pristine condition. 505 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:53,840 What? Oh, two, three thousand quid. Pop that cork, son. 506 00:26:54,100 --> 00:26:55,600 I've never had a fight like this. 507 00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:59,720 When you see Gary, tell him I'm going to take his mother on holiday to the West 508 00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:00,760 Indies. Jamaica? 509 00:27:01,340 --> 00:27:03,520 Yeah, unless we go to Barbados. 510 00:27:51,530 --> 00:27:55,290 a monkey, that's what I'm going to do. At least someone appreciates me. And 511 00:27:55,290 --> 00:27:58,450 don't call me back because I don't want to speak to you ever again. 512 00:27:58,870 --> 00:27:59,870 Goodbye. 513 00:28:02,910 --> 00:28:04,290 Oh dear, Gary. 514 00:28:06,410 --> 00:28:08,470 Wearing crap up to our earlobes. 515 00:28:09,850 --> 00:28:12,570 Or to put it another way, you are. 516 00:28:15,130 --> 00:28:17,770 Still, at least it's a nice day. 37854

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