All language subtitles for Goodnight Sweetheart s04e01 Youre Driving Me Crazy

Good night, sweetheart.

All my prayers are for you.

Good night, sweetheart.

I'll be watching all you.

Tears and cutting may make us alone.

You're feeling fit in yourself?

Yeah, fantastic. Never felt better.

Good, good.

No morning sickness?

Well, it depends on what's the first
thing I see when I open my eyes. If it's

Gary.

Your blood pressure is perfect, like the
rest of you.

Great. Do you hear that, Gary?

Is that V -A -T or B -S -E?

It's what?

That bottom line, I can't make it out. I
think I may need glasses, you know.

You're not supposed to be able to read
that line. It's the printer's name.

But if I may be so bold, pregnancy suits
you.

Your complexion is flawless.

Your lips have an almost luscious
fullness.

She got stung on the mouth last
Saturday.

Your hair is shinier and bouncier than
I've ever seen it.

Would you like me to walk around the
block for half an hour?

You know, while you two break all the
rules on doctor -patient intimacy.

Dr. Yakovits is just being pleasant.

You're a very lucky young man.

Your wife could be sickly and run down.

Instead, it's my husband who's sickly
and run down.

Really? He's off his food, he's sleeping
badly, his libido's gone absent without

leave. Don, please, this is personal
stuff.

He's a doctor, let him help you.

Would you like me to give you a brief
examination?

My briefs don't need examining, thank
you very much.

Perhaps a little pick -me -up? He
doesn't need a pick -me -up. He needs to

it up.

Yvonne!

Perhaps I should take his blood pressure
while he's here. I don't need my blood

pressure taken.

Hate it when that thing tightens round
your arm.

Bound to send your blood pressure
through the roof. It's like being

a boa constrictor.

Gary, calm down.

Pregnancy can be a very stressful time
for the father as much as for the

You'll pull through, Mr Sparrow.

After all, there's nothing unique about
your situation, is there?

I spoke to the midwife about home
delivery.

She said she'll call you.

Great. Oh, it's something I've been
meaning to talk to you about, Gary. Does

bother you at all?

Home delivery?

No, great idea. Save lugging all those
heavy nappies back from the supermarket.

Home delivery of the baby, Gary.

You want a...

I think I'd better take my blood
pressure.

You sit down.

Put your feet up and I'll make you a
nice cup of tea.

Anyone spot the deliberate mistake?

I'm sorry, Vaughan. I just don't think I
could ever enjoy marital intimacy in

our bed again.

Not once it's been used as an outhouse
of the maternity unit.

We'll hire one of those birthing pools.

Fill it full of tepid water. We all get
in.

All? Me, the obstetrician, the midwife.

You can hire an underwater video camera
and use your scuba gear.

No, look, everyone knows that babies are
supposed to be born in hospital.

Pregnancy is not an illness.

Then why do I feel sick?

If you ask me, you're suffering from a
severe case of denial.

I'm not.

What I am suffering from is dangerously
high blood pressure. You saw.

It's just psychosomatic. You get
yourself all wound up.

Here, let me release your safety valve.

What are you doing?

Practising sofa sex.

No, no, I'm sorry. I'm not in the mood.

Tell me about it. I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

What is it?

Oh, just things.

What sort of things?

I don't know.

You worried about me giving up work?

Oh, it's not so much that. I just...

You're giving up work?

I thought you were going to go part
-time.

Well, I've been thinking about it. Maybe
when the baby arrives, I want to spend

all my time with him or her.

Oh, oh, right, yes, yes, I can see that,
yeah.

Well, I suppose we'd manage.

Obviously, I'd have to work a lot
harder, you know, put in some really

hours. Spending even more time away at
collector's fairs and so on.

Well... You're not looking for an excuse
to spend more time away, are you?

Of course not. Because there is an
alternative to spending 70 hours a week

selling scratch Flanagan and Allen
records.

There's a job at Sim Young you could
stroll into.

I am not going back to being blue
-collar, Yvonne. The collar is white.

We need a dynamic production manager at
the new factory in Wembley. Just think,

you could cycle to work. You could come
home for lunch.

You'd earn far more than you get from
the shop for half the hassle.

They're going to make digital flat
-screen televisions, Gary.

Remember how turned on you used to get
about digital black screen televisions?

The very phrase had aphrodisiac
qualities for you.

Don't be silly.

Silly? You're the man who used to lock
himself in the toilet with a Bang &

Olufsen catalogue.

No, there'd be hundreds of people after
a job like that. Of course, but I could

swing it for you. I have the power.

Oh, right, yes. And then I would have to
be permanently grateful to you,

wouldn't I?

That would completely destroy the
balance of power within our marriage and

would be the final nail in the coffin of
our sex life.

You mean it's not already dead and
buried?

I don't want to go back to being an
employee, Yvonne.

I like being my own boss. I like being
able to come and go as I please. It's

important to me.

It's bound up with my feeling of
wholeness.

What's Blockbuster's got to do with it?

Not Bob wholeness.

I'm sorry.

OK, you do what feels right for you, as
long as when the baby arrives, we get to

spend some quality time together.

Well, of course we will. Real quality
time.

Time of the highest imaginable quality.

Time of such quality, they'll sell it in
Harrods, I promise.

No, look, I really ought to get back to
the shop.

I thought we might have a bit of lunch
together.

No, I'll grab a pint of pint in the
Royal Oak, don't worry about me.

Bye.

I'm not worried, Gary.

I sometimes wonder what the Royal Oak's
got that I haven't.

You smell different.

Is that the expensive scent that Gary
gave you?

No. I've just broken a jar of pickled
eggs, Reg.

Very nice.

Well, I'd better get back on point,
Judy.

I'll see you later.

Bye.

Where do you spring from?

I see the RAF gave Hamburg a hell of a
posting the other night.

Still, never mind. They get the Beatles
in 20 years' time to make up for it.

Please, not distract an officer of his
majesty in the pursuance of his duties.

Keeping a traffic flow is a major
contribution to the war effort.

Whatever you say, Raj.

There you are.

Fancy getting run over by two nippers in
a homemade go -kart.

A what?

You can laugh. They must have been doing
five miles an hour, minimum.

Never mind, Reg.

Have a meat pie.

Now, I've got lamb and apricot, venison
and cranberry, or pork and prune. Stop

it, Gary.

You still feeling queasy? A bit.

How about you, Reg? I'm not queasy,
Gary, but then again, I'm not expecting.

I mean, do you fancy a pie?

You're joking.

Meat and fruit in the same crust, in
natural.

Well, I know, but there's a war on, you
see. We've got to make do.

Oh, well, if it's a matter of
patriotism.

Dip, dip, dip, my little ship.

Sails on the walk, they'll like a cup of
sauce.

Oh, I've got something for you. Here.

What are they?

Multivitamins with sea kelp and
essential fish oils.

What are they supposed to do, make me a
better swimmer?

No, I just thought, well, as long as you
don't feel like eating.

And how can they be essential fish oils?

I've never had him before and I'm still
around.

You're under the weather, though. I do
worry about you. Everyone gets a spot of

morning sickness.

It's just across I've got a bear.

Like the budget.

What budget? The Chancellor calls it his
sacrifices for victory budget.

Tuppence on a pint of beer, five bob on
a bottle of scotch, four pence on 20

fags. Not anyone we know can afford to
buy 20 at a time.

But the worst thing is they're banning
lace and embroidery on women's

Just when I was going to treat myself to
some pretty things when I'm bigger.

With all due respect, Phoebe, that is
not the worst thing.

I mean, you don't need lace and such
like on your nightly. But as for the

Chancellor saying you can't have a
pocket on your pyjamas anymore, I mean,

am I going to keep my anky when I'm in
bed?

Broke my heart having to cut the pockets
off all my gym jams.

I'd better get back on point, if it
wasn't a traffic jam.

Hey, babe, take a walk on the wild side.

I like the sound of that.

Spy talk, eh?

Mum's the word, Reg.

Mum really is the word, isn't it?

Well, come on, then. Take your vitamin.

And I thought I'd ask you to give up
smoking.

You did. I tried. I couldn't.

Anyway, it's my only pleasure these
days. You're hardly ever here.

My country needs me, Phoebe. You've
heard what's going on out in the Far

I know, but don't make it any easier for
me.

Bloody jacks.

Anyway, I'm back now, so smoking doesn't
have to be your only pleasure.

Gary, I've told you that is off the menu
until after the baby's born. Why?

You know why.

I'm scared we might hurt it with all
the... I promise you it's perfectly

They've done research.

You're bound to say that. You're a man.

All right, if you don't believe me, ask
your friends.

It's my friends who tick me the wink.

Well, I tell you what does harm the
baby. Smoking harms the baby.

How can it, you soppy ape -worth? They
proved it in the 60s. In America, the

women who smoke give birth to smaller
babies.

Well, looking on the bright side, it'll
hurt less when he's born, won't it?

It's weird.

Phoebe's gone right off it, so I fancy
her more than ever.

Whereas Yvonne is rampant and it just
doesn't turn me on.

What do you think?

What I want to know is what sort of mind
dreamed up pork and prune pie filling?

Ron, you're not listening.

Of course I'm not listening, Gary.

You see, before you, a man who gets his
leg over about as often as Long John

Silver in The High Hurdles.

Don't look to me for sympathy.

I think what's really doing my head in
is wondering how I'm going to cope with

having two families to support.

You've made your beds, now you've got to
lie in them.

But I'm only one man, Ron.

It was tough enough when I had two
healthy, affectionate women to satisfy.

They call him Mr Pitiful.

But I kept them happy. You kept your
hand up.

You babies.

Just not equipped.

I would have thought your equipment was
the least of your problems.

Talking of equipment, what is this? One
of those Peter Pumpers.

DIY blood pressure kit.

It was a bit high at the doctor's this
morning, so I thought I'd better keep it

under observation.

Oh, well, as long as you're not turning
into a hypochondriac.

Anyway, Gary, having two babies won't
make much difference.

You'll still be able to flip between two
eras. It'll just be much, much, much

more knackery. It's not that simple.

Yvonne wants to give up work and become
a full -time mother.

It's very laudable.

Totally in line with all party thinking
on the family.

Plus, she wants me to give up this shop
and get a proper job.

Ah, exactly.

But the fact is, Yvonne is right.

If she gives up her work, I don't think
this shop will keep the three of us. Oh,

you mean the five of you.

Ron, please.

Don't forget all those little black
market treats you take back for Phoebe.

Not forgetting the imminent war, baby. I
wasn't forgetting.

Although, talking of said baby, we
should remember that he or she is

walking around today disguised as a 55
-year -old.

In fact, as we speak, he or she may well
be contemplating early retirement.

Ron, my blood pressure!

Look, look, see, it's 140 over 90.

Indicating what?

Indicating that I'm perfectly healthy.
I'm going to take that back to the shop.

Of course, you wouldn't have to be
financially embarrassed if you were

to exploit your uncanny powers.

Trip or two to wartime dog tracks, for
instance.

No, I have been given this unique
ability and I don't want to abuse it. If

start messing with history, history
might start messing with me.

You don't think having a child twice
your age counts as messing?

OK. Forget gambling.

What about antiques?

Oh, it'll do wonders for my wartime
street cred if I'm seen staggering down

Duckett's Passage with a handcart full
of heirlooms.

Right, something smaller, then. A
Fabergé egg.

Have to be a Fabergé powdered egg.

I am trying to help here, Gary.

I know.

Time pieces.

I've just done a catalogue for an
auction of collectible examples of the

horologist's art to be held next month.
The reserve prices are in thousands of

pounds. And you wouldn't call bringing
back old watches messing with time?

Look, mate, if you want to keep this
shop, you've got to prove to Yvonne that

can make some serious money.

Hi, Rog.

Hi, Phoebe.

Is she all right? As far as I know, she
went off shopping.

Oh, what for?

Whatever she could get.

Usual? Oh, cheers.

Hold on, I haven't given it to you yet.

No, I just meant... Cheers.

That's better.

You haven't got any of those pies left,
have you?

No. Well, thank heavens for that. I had
a real jippy tummy after that venison

and cranberry.

Oh, I'm sorry.

What did you do for it? Sat on the
toilet for an hour and a half.

Of course.

Mind you, might not have been the pie,
might have been my mini.

Well, she cooked something that
disagreed with you.

Cooked for me? You must be joking.

No, I just had a bit of a shock when I
come off duty and found her upstairs

these four strapping fellas.

And that was a shock, was it?

What a shock was, she was on the level
this time.

Really? Yeah.

Seems they've been sent round by the
billeting office for temporary

accommodation till they ship out.

Oh, they're sailors.

That's right. They don't speak much
English.

Minnie says they're members of the Free
Czechoslovakian Navy.

Good -looking chaps, well -built.
They've really taken to my Minnie.

Deary me what they won't do for her.

So, I'm letting them stay till the
weekend with my blessing. Well, at least

can do, innit? Well, I suppose so.

Red, you do know that Czechoslovakia
doesn't have a coastline?

Really?

Makes you wonder where they keep their
shits, doesn't it?

Can I use your phone? You help yourself.

OK.

What's this, then?

The Times.

Where's the news, then?

It's on the inside.

Why don't they put it on the front, like
the other papers?

It's considered vulgar.

Well, pardon me, but they're all the
same when they're hung on a hook in the

privy.

Oh, yes, good afternoon. Classified
desk?

Yes, I wonder if I might just place a
small advertisement.

Yes, it's instant cash paid for top
-quality Swiss watches.

I don't care if it does sound vulgar.
That's my ad. That's what I want to say.

Yes.

Yes, it's Stepney Green 2787.

Stepney.

In the East End.

Of London. You got a problem with that?

Yeah, OK, well, I'll give you my access
number.

It's... No, no, um... I'll send you a
cheque.

Oh, all right, a postal order.

Talking about the cheques, did you know
they haven't got a coastline, but they

do have a navy?

Amazing, eh?

It's a wonder to me they haven't asked
you on the brains trust, Reg.

Yeah, I couldn't help overhearing you
were in the market for watches.

Well, you couldn't help overhearing on
account that you were earwigging. I am a

serving policeman in a country at war.
It is my duty to be alert and observant.

And if you're on the lookout for
watches... Is it reliable?

No.

Swiss? Well, not exactly.

Valuable? Chain cost half a crown.

Sorry, Rich.

It's all right. I don't want to sell it.

Then why offer it?

I'm a patriot.

I think the word's pronounced pillock,
Rich.

I'm assuming if you want watches, it's
got something to do with a war effort

our implacable pursuit of total victory.

You know what, Reg? You've hit the nail
right on the head.

Makes a change.

Keep it under your helmet, but we're
looking for watches to equip our agents

when we drop them behind enemy lines.

What, they break?

No, we drop the agents wearing the
watches.

Oh, with you.

Shows foresight, that does.

Reg, there seems to be a bit of a
traffic jam at the bar.

Stay no more.

He only had his brain, eh?

You look tired. I'm all in. I've been
everywhere.

No -one's got any lingerie at all.

Those spits must have snapped everything
up.

Why does everything have to be so
blooming grim?

Everything? I know you think you're
God's gift, but right now I'm not in the

mood. Well, maybe I can cheer you up.

Ta -da!

Gary! You always manage to get things
other men can't get hold of.

If only.

This isn't maternity wear.

No.

But, you know, it'll be months before
you really... I thought, meanwhile, they

might cheer you up. Well, cheer us both
up.

Meaning what, exactly?

Well, I was just wondering if maybe
later on you'd like to model them for

You don't stop trying, do you?

I'm sorry.

Don't get all fed up, Gary.

It'll be all right once the baby's born.

No, it won't.

There'll be sleepless nights, 3am
feeds... Colic, teething, dirty nappies

change. I wouldn't expect you to change
nappies or get up in the middle of the

night. That's woman's work.

Well, then you'd be even more knackered.

Gary, language.

Be lucky if we do it again this side of
D -Day.

What's D -Day?

Oh, um, forget I spoke.

Careless talk.

You know I really do love you, don't
you?

Yeah. Of course.

And you love me, don't you?

You know I do.

Only you don't seem to say it much
lately.

Phoebe, of course I love you.

More than anyone else in the world?

More than anyone else alive.

I didn't know you'd taken up smoking.

Neither did I.

Phoebe, I've got to put on a new barrel.

And I'm sure you'll look lovely in it,
Reg.

You know, you're in the spare room.

What are you doing?

Milking a goat. What do you think?

I thought we were going to assemble that
together.

I decided I was capable of doing it on
my own, like most things these days.

Yeah, well, I'm sorry if I was a bit
pathetic this morning. A bit?

Well, it looks really, really good.

Are you trying to sweet -talk your way
into my good books?

More into your underwear.

You'll get sued here.

Come on.

You've been smoking.

Well, just one or two.

You don't deny it?

Well, I am a grown -up. But you don't
smoke.

Well, I can't have been smoking then,
can I? You've had a drink too, haven't

you? I've been under a lot of pressure.

I think you're going to be a bit
pathetic again and I suppose it's all my

Yeah, well... Well what?

Oh, come on.

You announce you're pregnant, you
announce you're going to give up your

then you announce you've got me an
interview and I've got to give up the

Well, it's Thursday, by the way.

No, it isn't.

The interview is Thursday, 2 .30.

There, you see?

Stop trying to run my life, will you?
Well, someone's got to. You'll stay in

that dead -end shop until you turn into
a relic yourself.

It'll never make any real money, Gary.

Well, that's where you're wrong. Because
I'm on the verge of a very big deal. A

life -changing deal.

Oh, yeah?

She responded cynically.

What sort of deal?

What does the word Chippendale mean to
you?

You, a Chippendale with your chest.

Chippendale Antiques.

See, I met this chap and he said if I
can get hold of some really... Gary,

the hell do you think you're doing
around the baby?

What baby?

Our baby.

The unborn child can suffer from passive
smoking too, you know. Come on.

I mean it.

And it's untipped. You're trying to kill
yourself in double quick time.

It hasn't even got a health warning.

You're smoking the stock.

Look, I'm under a lot of pressure. I
know, the record's stuck.

Look, OK, OK, look, why don't we just...
Yeah, go downstairs, have a glass of

wine, relax, put on feet up, eh?

Don't get romantic with me, Gary.

Not with your lungs full of 50 -year
-old smoke and your hair smelling like a

cheap East End pub.

So I suppose a bunk -up's out the
question, then.

Oh, Gary, am I pleased to see you.

Oh, really? Come behind the bar and give
us a hand till Reg gets here, will you?

Oh, all right.

As long as no -one expects me to make
them any fancy cocktails or anything.

Right.

Er, yes, please. At last.

Right, three light ales, bottle of
brown, a scotch, and a port and lemon

lovely lady.

Oh, no, honestly, love, I've got enough
drinks already.

Look.

I don't know why I'm so popular tonight.

Think I can hazard a guess?

Hello, boys.

What? That's the bra I bought you, isn't
it?

It's ever such a snug fit.

Ah, well, maybe when the pub's quietened
down, I can help you adjust it.

I don't think we should start something
we can't finish, Gary.

No.

Bye -bye, boys.

Oh, I nearly forgot. You had a phone
call in response to your insertion in

Times.

Nice word, insertion.

He said he had a watch that might appeal
to you, so I told him to bring it

round. Oh, good girl. Thanks.

All right. Uh, Phoebe, how much is all
this fun?

Uh, three in Thropp and St. Lee, love.

Oh, how much?

Bloody budget.

Pardon my French, love.

Granted.

What a doll.

How do you manage to get a sort like
that and keep out a uniform?

Flat feet.

Only thing's flat round here, eh?

Uh, Father Beth, please.

Father Beth.

And I wonder if Mr Sparrow is about.

Yeah. Hi, Mr Sparrow.

Oh. Yes, love.

Quite a mile, please, and have one
yourself.

Thanks, but I've got plenty.

So,

you saw my advertisement?

Yes.

I don't want to seem disrespectful, but
how can a barman afford a fine Swiss

timepiece? I hope I haven't come all the
way from Pimlico in a wild goose check.

Don't worry. I've been saving up.

Because it's a very difficult time for
me.

My auntie lost her life in the Blitz,
and she left me her Patek Philippe dress

watch. Well, I wouldn't dream of parting
with it, but my wife's in poor health.

Oh, I understand.

Do you have it with you? No.

I wouldn't dream of taking it out of the
safe until I was sure I found a genuine

buyer, someone who would cherish it.

How much? 75 quid. I mean, I couldn't
accept less than 75

pounds.

Well,

there's 50 on account. You'll get the
rest when I get the watch.

Oh, um, I shall return before closing
time.

I'd love to see your money.

No, I think he's on the level.

You want to bet?

Well, don't mind.

Ten bob says you'll never see him again.

Wasn't thinking of a money bet.

Oh.

So what were you thinking of as if I
couldn't guess?

Well, I was just wondering if maybe
later on... Didn't have to be quite so

quick. Um, maybe somewhere a little
more, um, private.

Um, well, there.

Oh, yeah.

Sorry I'm late, Phoebe. There was a hell
of a flap on at the station.

They wouldn't tell me what about.

Tommy?

Tommy Kingdom!

Push off, Rach.

Ah. In your advertisement, you said you
were looking for watches.

In the plural?

Yeah. Why?

You've obviously suffered more than your
fair share of family tragedy.

So? This is how you dress on your
night's off, is it, Tommy?

You wouldn't believe this man has just
been promoted to Chief Inspector at

Scotland Yard, would you, Phoebe?

Shut up, you book. Can you believe that
me and Tommy were police cadets

together? Hey, Gary, come and meet my
old oboe, Chief Inspector Tommy Kingdom.

Hey, hey!

I haven't spoiled an operation, have I,
Tommy?

We've been after that fence for months.

Well, no -one told me if you'd have told
me.

Well, at least we've got the buyer.

Right, son, I am feeling your collar.

You can't arrest Gary.

He's with the Secret Service.

Louder, Reg. They can't hear you in the
snug.

It's this.

Why do the Secret Service want dodgy
watches?

Oh.

they're going to drop them behind enemy
lines.

All with different times on, so they'll
confuse the Germans.

Obviously, I couldn't tell him the real
reason.

I see.

Well, I shall need to take that watch as
evidence, sir.

What watch?

The white gold Patek Philippe in your
pocket, believed to have been stolen

the London flat of the Lord St Oswald.

Well, your fence was obviously one hell
of a pickpocket.

Oh, not my day, is it?

Right, I think you and I ought to toddle
along to Stepney Green, Nick, and talk

to your station commander, Constable
Deadman.

What an apt name.

Poor Reg.

Never mind poor Reg. What about me?

No money, no watch, no nookie?

Oh, don't cheer up, Gary.

Give me one good reason why I should.

On second thoughts, put it back. I'll
come and get it later.

Good night, sweetheart.

Sleep will banish sorrow.

Good night, sweetheart.

Till we meet tomorrow.

He taught.