Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:07,339
( cash register rings )
2
00:00:07,408 --> 00:00:10,553
♪ GROUND FLOOR... PERFUMERY,
STATIONERY, AND LEATHER GOODS ♪
3
00:00:10,577 --> 00:00:12,789
♪ WIGS AND HABERDASHERY
KITCHENWARE AND FOOD... ♪
4
00:00:12,813 --> 00:00:14,813
♪ GOING UP... ♪
5
00:00:19,086 --> 00:00:22,287
♪ FIRST FLOOR... TELEPHONES,
GENTS' READYMADE SUITS ♪
6
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,890
♪ SHIRTS, SOCKS, TIES, HATS,
UNDERWEAR AND SHOES... ♪
7
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:27,459
THANK YOU SO MUCH,
MADAM. GOOD AFTERNOON.
8
00:00:29,296 --> 00:00:32,231
GOOD AFTERNOON, MADAM.
9
00:00:32,299 --> 00:00:34,933
HOW ARE THE SALES
GOING, MRS. SLOCOMBE?
10
00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:38,637
WELL, IN LINGERIE, PANTS
ARE UP AND BRAS ARE DOWN.
11
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:42,374
BETTER THAN THE OTHER WAY
AROUND, EH, MRS. SLOCOMBE?
12
00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:44,287
NOW, NOW, CAPTAIN
PEACOCK, YOU MUSTN'T SAY
13
00:00:44,311 --> 00:00:47,212
THINGS LIKE THAT IN FRONT
OF MY LITTLE ASSISTANT.
14
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:49,481
DON'T WORRY ABOUT
ME. I DON'T WEAR 'EM.
15
00:00:51,318 --> 00:00:55,087
- BRAS, I MEAN.
- I'M SURE IT'S AGAINST
STAFF REGULATIONS.
16
00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:57,589
STILL, I'M ALWAYS PREPARED
TO LOOK THE OTHER WAY.
17
00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:59,158
YOU COULD'VE FOOLED ME.
18
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:02,906
I'VE NO TIME FOR THAT MAN.
19
00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:05,931
- HE'S GOT
SUCH COLD EYES.
- AND SUCH HOT HANDS.
20
00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:07,966
I WOULDN'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.
21
00:01:08,035 --> 00:01:10,813
IF HE TRIED ANYTHING LIKE
THAT WITH ME, I'D SLAP HIS CHOPS.
22
00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:14,473
MR. LUCAS HAS GOT A
CUSTOMER. OH, I AM GLAD.
23
00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:17,109
YEAH, BET HE DOESN'T
SELL HIM ANYTHING, THOUGH.
24
00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:19,178
OH, IT IS A SHAME.
25
00:01:19,246 --> 00:01:22,448
HE'S SO OBLIGING, AND
SUCH A GENTLEMAN.
26
00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:24,494
YOU KNOW, YESTERDAY
WHEN WE WERE TRAPPED
27
00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:26,329
IN THE LIFT ALONE TOGETHER,
28
00:01:26,353 --> 00:01:28,498
- HE DIDN'T
TRY ANYTHING.
- DIDN'T HE?
29
00:01:28,522 --> 00:01:31,290
NO, HE JUST PRESSED
THE ALARM BELL
30
00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:34,759
AND SHOUTED FOR HELP.
31
00:01:34,828 --> 00:01:38,297
I THINK THAT FITS VERY SNUGLY,
DON'T YOU, MR.HUMPHRIES?
32
00:01:38,365 --> 00:01:40,299
OH, VERY SNUGLY, MR. GRAINGER.
33
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:42,011
AREN'T THE SLEEVES A BIT LONG?
34
00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:44,636
NO, I THINK THOSE
WILL RIDE UP WITH WEAR,
35
00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:46,305
DON'T YOU AGREE, MR. HUMPHRIES?
36
00:01:46,373 --> 00:01:49,341
THEY'LL DEFINITELY
RIDE UP, MR. GRAINGER.
37
00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:52,711
YES, NOW, IF YOU WOULD JUST
RAISE YOUR ARMS UP AND DOWN
38
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:55,180
SO THAT WE SEE...
39
00:01:55,249 --> 00:01:57,816
THAT'S SNUG UNDERNEATH THE ARMS.
40
00:01:57,884 --> 00:02:00,285
I THINK THAT'S SNUG, DON'T YOU?
41
00:02:00,354 --> 00:02:03,155
THERE'S PLENTY OF RIDE
THERE, MR. GRAINGER.
42
00:02:03,224 --> 00:02:06,391
ENOUGH TO CONDUCT A
SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA.
43
00:02:06,460 --> 00:02:09,294
NOT IN A SPORTS
COAT, MR. HUMPHRIES.
44
00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:12,709
IT SEEMS TO BE SHORTER AT
THE FRONT THAN AT THE BACK.
45
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:14,833
THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE
STANDING UPRIGHT, SIR.
46
00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:18,903
ONE DOES TEND TO DO THAT WHEN
ONE IS TRYING ON NEW GARMENTS.
47
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:20,650
- REALLY?
- OH, YES, SIR.
48
00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:23,041
YOU SEE, IF I STAND
UPRIGHT LIKE THIS,
49
00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:25,710
WELL, I'M UP AT THE FRONT,
AREN'T I, MR. GRAINGER?
50
00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:28,913
YOU CERTAINLY
ARE, MR. HUMPHRIES.
51
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,483
WHY DON'T YOU TRY
TO STOOP A LITTLE?
52
00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:36,188
- LIKE THIS?
- YES, PERHAPS
A LITTLE MORE.
53
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:39,691
THERE YOU ARE, YOU SEE? PERFECT.
54
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:43,762
MAY I SUGGEST A PAIR OF TROUSERS
TO COMPLETE THE ENSEMBLE?
55
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,675
DEFINITELY A PAIR OF
TROUSERS, MR. GRAINGER.
56
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:48,567
WHAT COLOR HAD YOU IN MIND?
57
00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:51,670
OH, WELL, BROWN?
58
00:02:51,738 --> 00:02:53,082
ISN'T THAT EXTRAORDINARY?
59
00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:55,507
IT WAS ON THE TIP OF MY
TONGUE TO SAY BROWN.
60
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,075
A VERY WISE CHOICE.
61
00:02:57,144 --> 00:02:59,077
YOU CAN HARDLY GO
WRONG WITH BROWN.
62
00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:02,881
YOU CAN WEAR ANY KIND
OF SHOES, EXCEPT BLACK.
63
00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:05,750
DO YOU KNOW YOUR
INSIDE LEG, SIR?
64
00:03:05,819 --> 00:03:07,797
IT WAS 31, I THINK.
65
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:09,555
WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO CHECK IT?
66
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,801
NO, THANK YOU, MR. HUMPHRIES.
67
00:03:11,825 --> 00:03:13,625
I CAN MANAGE.
68
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,994
YOU DON'T WANT IT
TO SLIP AGAIN, DO YOU?
69
00:03:16,063 --> 00:03:18,230
- WHAT?
- YOUR TRUSS.
70
00:03:18,299 --> 00:03:20,232
I CAN MANAGE.
71
00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:22,111
NOW, TAPE MEASURE,
MR. HUMPHRIES.
72
00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:24,113
- TAPE, MR. LUCAS.
- TAPE, MR. HUMPHRIES.
73
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:26,638
- TAPE, MR. GRAINGER.
- THANK YOU, MR. HUMPHRIES.
74
00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:31,910
- ( coughs )
- FAILED.
75
00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,481
WHAT DOES IT SAY?
76
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:39,218
"MADE IN ENGLAND," MR. GRAINGER.
77
00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:41,486
31 1/2, MR. GRAINGER.
78
00:03:41,555 --> 00:03:43,622
THANK YOU, MR. HUMPHRIES.
79
00:03:43,691 --> 00:03:46,157
( sharp ripping )
80
00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:55,734
I DON'T THINK THAT WAS
VERY FUNNY, MR. LUCAS.
81
00:03:55,802 --> 00:03:57,647
NEARLY GAVE ME A HEART ATTACK.
82
00:03:57,671 --> 00:04:02,274
- GET ME A PAIR
OF BROWN 40s, 31 1/2.
- NO, I CAN'T.
83
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:04,276
I'VE GOT A 34 IN
THE FITTING ROOM.
84
00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:06,545
I'LL GET THEM FOR
YOU, MR. GRAINGER.
85
00:04:08,014 --> 00:04:09,826
YOU KNOW, WITH
YOUR SALES RECORD,
86
00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:12,095
I WOULDN'T CHANCE MY ARM
WITH THE PRACTICAL JOKES.
87
00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:13,996
I'VE GOT TO RELIEVE THE
MONOTONY SOMEHOW.
88
00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:16,455
MY CUSTOMER'S TRIED
ON SO MANY JACKETS,
89
00:04:16,523 --> 00:04:18,234
HE'S PRACTICALLY
WORN HIS SHIRT OUT.
90
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:21,170
- I WISH HE'D HURRY UP
AND MAKE HIS MIND UP.
- WHAT'S THE RUSH?
91
00:04:21,194 --> 00:04:23,562
- I WANNA CHAT UP SHIRLEY.
- WHO'S SHIRLEY?
92
00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:27,232
- MISS BRAHMS.
- WE'RE ON FIRST
NAMES' TERMS, ARE WE?
93
00:04:27,301 --> 00:04:29,134
YES... ABOUT AS
FAR AS WE HAVE GOT.
94
00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:31,180
I WOULDN'T HAVE THOUGHT
SHE WAS YOUR TYPE.
95
00:04:31,204 --> 00:04:32,638
SHE'S NOT. MINE'S GOT MEASLES.
96
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:35,707
DON'T LET PEACOCK SEE YOU
FRATERNIZING OVER THERE,
97
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:38,310
OTHERWISE, YOU'LL GET THE
ROUGH EDGE OF HIS TONGUE.
98
00:04:38,379 --> 00:04:40,712
AND I CAN TELL YOU IT
ISN'T VERY PLEASANT.
99
00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:52,157
( whistles )
100
00:04:52,225 --> 00:04:54,493
I KNOW WHAT, I'LL
SEND HER A NOTE.
101
00:04:54,561 --> 00:04:56,539
HERE, LEND ME YOUR PENCIL.
102
00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:58,541
A BIT SHORT ON LEAD, AREN'T YOU?
103
00:04:58,565 --> 00:05:00,165
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO SAY?
104
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:03,134
- "DEAR SEXY
KNICKERS..."
- THAT'S SUBTLE.
105
00:05:03,203 --> 00:05:05,804
IF YOU DON'T ASK, YOU
DON'T GET, DO YOU?
106
00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:09,140
"I DON'T HALF FANCY YOU."
107
00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:11,576
I'M GLAD TO SEE
ROMANCE ISN'T DEAD.
108
00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:17,316
"MEET ME OUTSIDE AT 5:30,
109
00:05:17,384 --> 00:05:19,751
AND WE'LL GET IT TOGETHER."
110
00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:22,987
WHAT, OUTSIDE AT
5:30? YOU'LL BE RUN IN.
111
00:05:25,091 --> 00:05:27,225
YOU'VE DECIDED ON
THAT ONE, HAVE YOU, SIR?
112
00:05:27,294 --> 00:05:30,239
I LIKE THE PATTERN, BUT THE JACKET'S
MUCH TOO TIGHT UNDER THE ARMS.
113
00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:31,908
IT'S THE BIGGEST
ONE WE'VE GOT, SIR.
114
00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:34,032
THEY DO VARY, SIR.
PERHAPS IF SIR WOULD LIKE
115
00:05:34,100 --> 00:05:36,234
TO TRY ON THE
TROUSERS, I'LL HAVE A LOOK.
116
00:05:36,303 --> 00:05:39,671
- OH, THANK YOU.
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
117
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,285
- THAT'S THE ONLY
ONE WE'VE GOT.
- I KNOW THAT.
118
00:05:42,309 --> 00:05:43,908
THIS IS A WRINKLE WORTH KNOWING.
119
00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:46,511
COME OVER HERE. I DON'T
WANT PEACOCK TO SEE.
120
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,380
NOW, YOU'VE HEARD OF
"PUTTING THE BOOT IN"?
121
00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:51,115
THIS IS WHAT'S KNOWN IN THE
TRADE AS "PUTTING THE KNEE IN."
122
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:54,152
- YOU SEE, YOU PUT IT
OVER LIKE THAT...
- VERY CRAFTY.
123
00:05:54,221 --> 00:05:57,121
AND YOU PULL UNTIL YOU
BREAK ALL THE STITCHES.
124
00:05:58,792 --> 00:06:01,059
IF YOU LISTEN, YOU
CAN HEAR THEM GO.
125
00:06:01,127 --> 00:06:03,495
( faint popping )
126
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:06,297
THERE'S A TRICK IN EVERY TRADE.
127
00:06:06,367 --> 00:06:08,433
THE TRICK IN THIS,
MR. LUCAS, IS TO MAKE SURE
128
00:06:08,502 --> 00:06:11,936
THAT THE CUSTOMER GETS IT HOME
BEFORE THE SLEEVES DROP OFF.
129
00:06:12,005 --> 00:06:14,840
- MR. HUMPHRIES?
- COMING, MR. GRAINGER.
130
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:19,478
GOOD NEWS, SIR, I
FOUND ANOTHER ONE.
131
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:25,049
WOULD YOU MIND, SIR? WE'RE
IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE...
132
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:27,486
YOU CAN BE SEEN BY THE
WHOLE LADIES' DEPARTMENT.
133
00:06:30,156 --> 00:06:32,591
OH, LOOK, A MAN
IN HIS SHIRTTAILS.
134
00:06:32,659 --> 00:06:35,326
- WHERE?
- YOU'VE JUST
MISSED IT.
135
00:06:36,497 --> 00:06:38,797
IT'S THAT MR. LUCAS. HE
DOES IT DELIBERATELY.
136
00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:41,306
I'M SURE HE DOESN'T.
IT'S NOT HIS FAULT.
137
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:44,603
IT'S HAVING TO SHARE THE FLOOR
WITH THE MEN'S DEPARTMENT.
138
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:47,205
OH, HE'S THERE AGAIN.
IN THE FITTING ROOM.
139
00:06:47,274 --> 00:06:49,107
HE'S TYING HIS SHOE.
140
00:06:49,175 --> 00:06:51,187
OH, IT'S NOT GOOD
ENOUGH. IT REALLY ISN'T.
141
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:54,112
NO. IT WOULDN'T MAKE THE
CENTER PAGES OF COSMOPOLITAN.
142
00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:56,581
THAT'S SOMETHING I
JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND...
143
00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:59,083
WHY ANYBODY WANTS TO
BUY A WOMEN'S MAGAZINE
144
00:06:59,152 --> 00:07:02,131
WITH A PICTURE OF A NUDE
MAN IN IT. I THINK IT'S AWFUL.
145
00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:04,423
I THOUGHT BURT REYNOLDS
LOOKED QUITE SEXY.
146
00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:08,927
YOU COULDN'T SEE ANYTHING.
HIS ARM WAS IN THE WAY.
147
00:07:08,995 --> 00:07:12,008
- THAT'S MUCH BETTER.
- ALL THE DIFFERENCE
IN THE WORLD, SIR.
148
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:13,843
ARE THESE SLEEVES LONG ENOUGH?
149
00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:16,100
I WOULDN'T DO THAT
IF I WERE YOU, SIR.
150
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,969
I WOULDN'T DO
THAT IF I WERE YOU.
151
00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:19,971
THEY'LL COME DOWN,
SIR, WITH WEAR.
152
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,684
- WILL THEY?
- YES, DEFINITELY.
153
00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:24,409
THE MORE YOU WEAR IT, THE
QUICKER THEY'LL COME DOWN.
154
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:26,956
ARE YOU SURE THIS IS THE
SAME PATTERN AS THE LAST ONE?
155
00:07:26,980 --> 00:07:30,114
- LOOKS A BIT STRONGER TO ME.
- I ASSURE YOU IT'S THE SAME.
156
00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:32,451
ABSOLUTELY IDENTICAL.
157
00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:35,698
- I'M NOT OFTEN WRONG
ABOUT THIS SORT OF THING.
- WELL, YOU ARE THIS TIME.
158
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:38,034
NEVERTHELESS, I'D LIKE
TO SEE THE OTHER ONE,
159
00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:40,992
JUST TO SATISFY MYSELF.
160
00:07:41,061 --> 00:07:43,061
- WOULD YOU?
- YES.
161
00:07:44,565 --> 00:07:46,832
JUST A MINUTE.
162
00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:49,334
( shrilly ) MR. HUMPHRIES?!
163
00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:51,470
THE CUSTOMER WOULD LIKE TO SEE
164
00:07:51,538 --> 00:07:53,917
THE OTHER JACKET, THE
SMALLER ONE HE COULDN'T GET ON.
165
00:07:53,941 --> 00:07:57,108
WHAT A PITY, JUST SOLD IT!
166
00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:58,677
OH, TOO BAD.
167
00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:00,912
THAT'S THE TROUBLE,
YOU SEE, SIR.
168
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:03,348
THEY'RE GOING LIKE
HOTCAKES TODAY.
169
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:06,184
- WELL, THERE'S
SOMETHING WRONG HERE.
- WHERE?
170
00:08:06,252 --> 00:08:09,855
WHEN I GO LIKE THIS, ONE SLEEVE
IS SHORTER THAN THE OTHER.
171
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:11,523
WELL... LET'S FACE IT,
172
00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:14,292
PEOPLE DON'T VERY OFTEN
STAND LIKE THAT, DO THEY?
173
00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:17,028
UNLESS, OF COURSE,
YOU'RE A MIDGET PIANIST.
174
00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:20,465
PERHAPS YOU'RE RIGHT.
175
00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:23,635
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE
TROUSERS? THEY'RE TOO TIGHT.
176
00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:25,837
DO YOU USE A
SHOOTING STICK MUCH?
177
00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:28,206
YES, THEY'RE
DEFINITELY CATCHING, EH?
178
00:08:28,274 --> 00:08:30,074
- UNDER THE...
- YES, DEFINITELY.
179
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:33,778
YES, UNFORTUNATELY, THEY VARY
IN SIZE, TOO, THE TROUSERS, I MEAN.
180
00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:38,282
WOULD YOU MIND
OBLIGING BY DROP...
181
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:40,652
TAKING THEM OFF,
PLEASE, IF YOU WOULD?
182
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:45,636
- ARE YOU FREE,
MR. GRAINGER?
- YES, I'M FREE.
183
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:49,105
I'M GOING TO HAVE A WORD
WITH CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
184
00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:51,930
- TAKE OVER FOR ME, WILL YOU?
- YES, MR. GRAINGER.
185
00:08:51,999 --> 00:08:53,999
ERNEST, I'VE JUST
HAD A COMPLAINT
186
00:08:54,067 --> 00:08:56,167
FROM MRS. SLOCOMBE
ABOUT YOUNG MR. LUCAS.
187
00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:58,069
- GO ON.
- WELL, APPARENTLY,
188
00:08:58,138 --> 00:09:00,672
HE ALLOWED ONE OF HIS
CUSTOMERS TO APPEAR IN FULL VIEW
189
00:09:00,741 --> 00:09:02,741
OF HER DEPARTMENT
IN A STATE OF UNDRESS.
190
00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:04,854
ARE YOU SURE, STEPHEN?
191
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,111
OH, YES. SHE SAW THE
WHOLE THING CLEARLY.
192
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:12,662
WELL, THEN IT'S MORE
SERIOUS THAN I THOUGHT.
193
00:09:12,686 --> 00:09:14,463
IT'S A GREAT PITY, I THINK,
194
00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:16,298
THAT WE HAVE TO SHARE THIS FLOOR
195
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:17,700
WITH THE LADIES' DEPARTMENT.
196
00:09:17,724 --> 00:09:19,925
I THOUGHT IT WAS
WORKING OUT RATHER WELL.
197
00:09:19,993 --> 00:09:23,105
WELL, I PERSONALLY HAVE
A COMPLAINT TO MAKE ALSO.
198
00:09:23,129 --> 00:09:26,164
FROM A CERTAIN POSITION
IN THIS DEPARTMENT,
199
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:29,367
ONE CAN SEE RIGHT INTO
THE LADIES' FITTING ROOMS.
200
00:09:29,436 --> 00:09:32,336
REALLY? WHEREABOUTS FROM?
201
00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:37,475
THE CORNER OF THAT COUNTER.
202
00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:40,645
THANK YOU, ERNEST. I
SHALL LOOK INTO THAT.
203
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:43,414
AND IF I SEE ANYTHING,
204
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:45,584
I SHALL MOST CERTAINLY
MAKE A COMPLAINT
205
00:09:45,652 --> 00:09:48,086
AT THE NEXT MONTHLY MEETING.
206
00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:58,296
AREN'T THESE
TROUSERS A BIT LONG?
207
00:09:58,364 --> 00:10:00,431
IT IS THE FASHION
NOWADAYS FOR TROUSERS
208
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,467
TO BE WORN MUCH
LONGER. ISN'T THAT RIGHT?
209
00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:04,135
OH, YES. DEFINITELY,
MR. HUMPHRIES.
210
00:10:04,204 --> 00:10:06,638
JACKETS VERY SNUG AND
TIGHT, AND TROUSERS VERY LONG.
211
00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:08,974
IT ALSO HELPS TO KEEP
THE SHOES POLISHED.
212
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:11,175
- THANK YOU, MR. LUCAS.
- THAT IS, OF COURSE,
213
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:14,212
- IF THEY DON'T
RIDE UP WITH WEAR.
- THANK YOU.
214
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,047
WELL, IF YOU'D LIKE
TO SLIP THEM OFF,
215
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,049
I'LL WRAP THEM UP
WITH THE JACKET.
216
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:22,298
ARE YOU QUITE SURE
THESE ARE ALL RIGHT?
217
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:24,433
SIR, WOULD I ALLOW
YOU TO LEAVE THIS STORE
218
00:10:24,457 --> 00:10:26,658
IF THEY WERE NOT?
219
00:10:29,029 --> 00:10:30,974
- SALE, MR. GRAINGER.
- SALE, MR. GRAINGER.
220
00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:32,897
I'LL MAKE OUT A BILL.
221
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:35,834
- HOW DID
THE NEW JACKET FIT?
- VERY SNUGLY.
222
00:10:35,902 --> 00:10:38,870
I AM JUST ABOUT TO FIND
THE OTHER PAIR OF TROUSERS.
223
00:10:38,939 --> 00:10:40,939
( sharp ripping )
224
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:45,476
WE DON'T KNEE
TROUSERS, MR. LUCAS.
225
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:47,812
- DON'T WE?
- NO.
226
00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:50,348
WELL, YOU MIGHT
HAVE TOLD ME BEFORE.
227
00:10:52,085 --> 00:10:55,153
HAVE YOU GONE MAD, MR. LUCAS?
228
00:10:55,221 --> 00:10:58,189
WELL, IT WAS LIKE THIS,
YOU SEE, MR. PEACOCK.
229
00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:00,358
MY CUSTOMER'S
CROTCH WAS TOO TIGHT,
230
00:11:00,426 --> 00:11:02,994
AND I WAS TRYING
TO STRETCH IT... THEM.
231
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:05,263
( stammering )
232
00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:08,199
I WAS... I WAS TRYING
TO STRETCH THEM, SIR.
233
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:12,070
YOU SEEM TO HAVE SUCCEEDED
BEYOND YOUR WILDEST DREAMS.
234
00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:14,817
- THIS IS A VERY
SERIOUS MATTER.
- YES, SIR.
235
00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:16,708
MR. HUMPHRIES, ARE YOU FREE?
236
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:19,010
YES, AT THE MOMENT.
237
00:11:19,079 --> 00:11:21,980
ASK MR. GRAINGER, IF HE'S
FREE, TO STEP THIS WAY.
238
00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:24,049
EXCUSE ME.
239
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:33,391
- ARE YOU FREE, MR. GRAINGER?
- YES, I'M FREE, MR. HUMPHRIES.
240
00:11:33,459 --> 00:11:35,604
CAPTAIN PEACOCK WOULD
LIKE A WORD WITH YOU.
241
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:37,295
YES, VERY WELL.
242
00:11:38,965 --> 00:11:40,899
DO YOU ENCOURAGE YOUR ASSISTANTS
243
00:11:40,967 --> 00:11:43,334
TO TRY TO STRETCH
TROUSERS WHEN THEY DON'T FIT?
244
00:11:43,403 --> 00:11:45,614
MOST CERTAINLY NOT.
DO WE, MR. HUMPHRIES?
245
00:11:45,638 --> 00:11:47,405
CERTAINLY NOT, MR. GRAINGER.
246
00:11:47,473 --> 00:11:49,240
WE GIVE THEM THE SAME PAIR BACK
247
00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:52,410
- AND SAY WE FOUND
A LARGER SIZE.
- CERTAINLY.
248
00:11:52,478 --> 00:11:54,746
I'M AFRAID I CAN'T DEAL
WITH THIS, MR. LUCAS.
249
00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:57,015
MR. GRAINGER WILL CARRY
ON WITH YOUR CUSTOMER
250
00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:59,751
WHILE I PLACE THESE
BEFORE MR. RUMBOLD.
251
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:01,419
AND, MR. LUCAS...
252
00:12:01,487 --> 00:12:03,621
HOLD YOURSELF IN READINESS.
253
00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:07,892
WHAT WAS YOUR CUSTOMER'S
WAIST MEASUREMENT?
254
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,928
- A TIGHT 34.
- AND INSIDE LEG?
255
00:12:09,996 --> 00:12:13,598
- A TICKLISH 28.
- YOU SHOULD'VE TRIED
THE REDUCED RAIL.
256
00:12:13,666 --> 00:12:15,477
- YES.
- IT'S NOT YOUR DAY,
IS IT?
257
00:12:15,501 --> 00:12:18,480
IT'S NOT GONNA BE MY NIGHT, UNLESS
I CAN GET THIS NOTE TO SHIRLEY.
258
00:12:18,504 --> 00:12:20,149
IF PEACOCK SEES YOU OVER THERE,
259
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:22,819
YOU MIGHT AS WELL ASK FOR YOUR
CARDS AND LEAVE WITH DIGNITY.
260
00:12:22,843 --> 00:12:24,643
BUT HOW AM I GONNA
GET THIS NOTE TO HER?
261
00:12:24,711 --> 00:12:27,178
ATTRACT HER ATTENTION,
GET HER OVER HERE.
262
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:36,020
- SHE'S SEEN ME.
- WELL, BECKON HER OVER.
263
00:12:44,030 --> 00:12:46,064
THAT'S DONE IT.
264
00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:47,810
TAKE OVER FOR ME,
WILL YOU, MISS BRAHMS?
265
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:50,802
MR. LUCAS WANTS TO SEE
ME IN THE MEN'S DEPARTMENT.
266
00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:53,231
I THINK IT'S ABOUT
THAT COMPLAINT.
267
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:55,907
WELL, YOU'VE PROBABLY
GOT HIM INTO TROUBLE.
268
00:12:55,976 --> 00:12:58,416
TALK YOUR WAY OUT OF THIS.
269
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:01,379
ARE YOU FREE, MR. LUCAS?
270
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:05,316
YES, I'M AFRAID I
AM, MRS. SLOCOMBE.
271
00:13:05,385 --> 00:13:07,318
I DO HOPE THAT MY COMPLAINT
272
00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:09,988
HASN'T CAUSED YOU
ANY INCONVENIENCE.
273
00:13:10,056 --> 00:13:12,590
- YOUR WHAT?
- MY COMPLAINT.
274
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:15,204
BLIMEY. YOU HAVEN'T GOT
MEASLES AS WELL, HAVE YOU?
275
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:17,295
I WOULDN'T WANT TO
GET YOU INTO TROUBLE.
276
00:13:17,363 --> 00:13:19,130
AND VICE VERSA.
277
00:13:19,199 --> 00:13:22,466
YOU WERE SO MARVELOUS
TO ME IN THE LIFT YESTERDAY.
278
00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:26,671
IT ISN'T THAT I MIND SEEING A
MAN WITHOUT HIS TROUSERS ON.
279
00:13:26,739 --> 00:13:28,907
DO YOU REQUIRE ANYTHING
280
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:30,855
IN MY DEPARTMENT, MRS. SLOCOMBE?
281
00:13:30,911 --> 00:13:33,178
SOUNDS AS THOUGH
SHE'S ALREADY HAD IT.
282
00:13:33,246 --> 00:13:36,480
I WAS MERELY THANKING
YOUNG MR. LUCAS
283
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:38,629
FOR BEING SO GOOD
IN THE LIFT YESTERDAY
284
00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:40,685
WHEN WE WERE STUCK
BETWEEN FLOORS.
285
00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:42,053
I SEE.
286
00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:44,233
I HOPE THAT I HAVEN'T
GOT HIM INTO TROUBLE
287
00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:46,257
OVER OUR LITTLE
AFFAIR THIS MORNING.
288
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,894
CORRECT ME IF I'M
WRONG, MR. LUCAS,
289
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:52,396
BUT DO I UNDERSTAND THAT
YOU GOT MRS. SLOCOMBE
290
00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:54,565
INTO TROUBLE IN
THE LIFT YESTERDAY,
291
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:58,036
AND YOU HAD AN AFFAIR WITH HER
THIS MORNING IN HER DEPARTMENT?
292
00:13:58,104 --> 00:14:01,239
I'M SORRY TO DISAPPOINT
YOU, BUT, YES, YOU'RE WRONG!
293
00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:02,707
WHAT A PITY.
294
00:14:02,775 --> 00:14:05,276
I THOUGHT THINGS WERE
GOING TO LIVEN UP A BIT.
295
00:14:08,949 --> 00:14:10,827
DO YOU MEAN TO SAY
THAT YOU YOURSELF
296
00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:12,750
ACTUALLY TORE THESE TROUSERS
297
00:14:12,819 --> 00:14:14,819
BECAUSE WE HADN'T
GOT A LARGER SIZE?
298
00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:16,632
NOW, WHAT WAS THIS, TEMPER?
299
00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:19,724
NO, NO, NO, SIR. IT WAS
LIKE THIS. YOU SEE, SIR.
300
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:21,792
MR. HUMPHRIES KNEED THE JACKET.
301
00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:25,063
AH! YOU MEAN MR. HUMPHRIES
NEEDED THE JACKET.
302
00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:28,266
- LET'S GET OUR TENSES RIGHT.
- NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
303
00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:31,035
- YOU SEE,
I KNEED THE JACKET.
- YOU NEED IT NOW?
304
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:32,803
NO, I KNEED IT THEN.
305
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:38,809
YOU MEAN, YOU NEEDED IT THEN?
306
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:41,579
- IF I MIGHT CLARIFY.
- THANK YOU, CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
307
00:14:41,647 --> 00:14:43,792
IT SEEMS TO HAVE GOT
RATHER OUT OF HAND.
308
00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:45,783
YES, IT'S A MATTER
OF SPELLING, SIR.
309
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:48,853
- SPELLING?
- YOU SPELLED KNEED
WITH AN "N."
310
00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:50,755
MR. HUMPHRIES WAS USING A "K."
311
00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:52,991
YOU MEAN LIKE KNEADING DOUGH?
312
00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,426
- IS THAT IT, MR. LUCAS?
- YES, I NEEDED THE DOUGH,
313
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:58,196
BUT HE DIDN'T WANT THE JACKET
BECAUSE IT WAS TOO TIGHT.
314
00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:01,065
SO YOU KNEADED IT TO
MAKE IT MORE SUPPLE,
315
00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:02,979
WHICH WAS WHY YOU
NEEDED THE JACKET.
316
00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:05,281
YOU MAY RECALL, THAT IS
WHAT I SAID IN THE FIRST PLACE.
317
00:15:05,305 --> 00:15:07,238
NEARLY RIGHT, SIR, YES.
318
00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:09,285
BUT WHAT THEY'RE
TRYING TO EXPLAIN, SIR,
319
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:13,244
IS THAT... AND COMING FROM HARDWARE,
YOU WOULD NOT BE AWARE OF THIS,
320
00:15:13,313 --> 00:15:17,615
BUT THERE IS A METHOD USED...
AND I DISAPPROVE OF IT MYSELF,
321
00:15:17,683 --> 00:15:21,452
THERE IS A METHOD USED TO
ENLARGE THE ARMHOLES OF JACKETS,
322
00:15:21,521 --> 00:15:24,055
AND THE METHOD USED
IS TO KNEE THE JACKET...
323
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:25,556
WITH A "K."
324
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:29,527
I AM AWARE OF HOW
YOU SPELL "JACKET."
325
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:36,968
PERHAPS IF YOU WERE TO SLIP OFF
YOUR JACKET, I COULD SHOW YOU.
326
00:15:37,037 --> 00:15:39,770
PERHAPS, SIR, AT THIS JUNCTURE,
327
00:15:39,839 --> 00:15:42,240
I MIGHT SAY THAT I DISAPPROVE
328
00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:44,675
OF THIS PRACTICE MOST STRONGLY.
329
00:15:44,744 --> 00:15:46,945
NOW, SIR, THE TRICK,
AS I UNDERSTAND IT...
330
00:15:47,013 --> 00:15:49,480
THANK YOU, MR. LUCAS.
331
00:15:49,549 --> 00:15:51,360
THE TRICK, AS I UNDERSTAND IT,
332
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:54,485
IS TO PULL UNTIL SOME
OF THE STITCHES GO.
333
00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:56,921
UNTIL SOME OF THE STITCHES GO?!
334
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:59,590
IT DOESN'T HARM THE
JACKET. IT JUST LOOSENS IT UP.
335
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:02,026
PERHAPS IT WOULD BE
BETTER IF YOU LOOSENED UP
336
00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:04,162
YOUR OWN JACKET,
CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
337
00:16:04,230 --> 00:16:06,998
VERY WELL, SIR.
338
00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:09,934
NOW THEN, SIR, IF YOU
WILL LISTEN CAREFULLY.
339
00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:15,173
I TAKE THE JACKET
SO... AND I PULL SO...
340
00:16:15,241 --> 00:16:17,475
I CAN'T HEAR ANY STITCHES GOING.
341
00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:19,143
PERHAPS IT'S ALREADY BEEN DONE.
342
00:16:19,212 --> 00:16:22,246
- WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THAT?
- WELL, I SOLD IT TO YOU.
343
00:16:26,919 --> 00:16:30,588
THIS IS OBVIOUSLY A HIGHLY
UNDESIRABLE PRACTICE.
344
00:16:30,656 --> 00:16:33,502
NOW I HAVE TO DECIDE WHAT
THE PENALTY SHOULD BE.
345
00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:36,046
IS HE GOING TO PUT
THE BLACK CAP ON?
346
00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:39,097
YES, WELL, I THINK
WE'LL DEDUCT THE COST
347
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:42,367
OF THESE TROUSERS FROM THIS
WEEK'S COMMISSION, MR. LUCAS.
348
00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:44,635
AND, JUDGING BY
YOUR SALES RECORD,
349
00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:46,449
FROM NEXT WEEK'S COMMISSION,
350
00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:49,374
AND THE WEEK AFTER THAT, TOO.
351
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:51,709
- THAT WILL BE ALL.
- THANK YOU, MR. RUMBOLD.
352
00:16:51,777 --> 00:16:54,178
- THANK YOU, MR. RUMBOLD.
- THANK YOU, MR. RUMBOLD.
353
00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:57,548
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
354
00:16:57,617 --> 00:17:00,651
THANK YOU. THANK YOU
AGAIN, MR. RUMBOLD.
355
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:07,025
WELL, I'M SURPRISED
YOU DIDN'T DISCHARGE HIM.
356
00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:08,959
- MAY I?
- OF COURSE.
357
00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:10,961
THANK YOU.
358
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:14,198
WELL, THE THOUGHT
OF DISMISSING HIM
359
00:17:14,267 --> 00:17:16,667
DID OCCUR TO ME,
CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
360
00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:21,539
THANK YOU.
361
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:23,941
BUT, WITH SALES BEING DOWN,
362
00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:27,011
- I COULD HARDLY
JUSTIFY REPLACING HIM.
- COULD YOU NOT?
363
00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:29,914
AND WITH FEWER PEOPLE
IN THE DEPARTMENT,
364
00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:32,750
YOUR OWN POSITION MIGHT
BE CALLED INTO QUESTION.
365
00:17:32,818 --> 00:17:34,085
( coughs )
366
00:17:34,154 --> 00:17:35,953
- MIGHT IT?
- YES.
367
00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:38,289
YOU MIGHT FIND YOURSELF
BACK IN TOYS AND GAMES
368
00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:40,525
WITH ALL THOSE CHILDREN.
369
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:43,027
I THINK THERE'S A LOT
OF GOOD IN THE LAD.
370
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:46,197
I HOPE, FOR YOUR SAKE,
371
00:17:46,266 --> 00:17:48,399
THAT HE JUSTIFIES YOUR FAITH.
372
00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:54,838
AND DO BRING IT BACK IF YOU'RE
NOT ENTIRELY SATISFIED, MADAM.
373
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:56,674
THANK YOU.
374
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:59,055
AS I WAS SAYING, I DON'T
GET OUT MUCH NOWADAYS,
375
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:02,813
SINCE MR. SLOCOMBE'S
NO LONGER LIVING AT HOME.
376
00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:04,993
IT'S VERY DIFFICULT FOR
A WOMAN ON HER OWN.
377
00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:07,729
YOU CAN'T JUST GO DOWN
TO THE PUB FOR A QUICK DRINK
378
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:10,821
WITH ALL THOSE MEN
OGLING AT YOU, CAN YOU?
379
00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:13,524
WELL, NOT MORE THAN
TWICE A WEEK ANYWAY.
380
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,926
WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT
MAN YOU MET ON THE BUS,
381
00:18:15,995 --> 00:18:17,962
THE ONE THAT YOU GAVE
YOUR PHONE NUMBER TO?
382
00:18:18,030 --> 00:18:20,631
- DIDN'T HE RING YOU?
- I THINK HE DID.
383
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,800
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
YOU THINK HE DID?
384
00:18:22,868 --> 00:18:25,136
WELL, IT SOUNDED LIKE
HIS HEAVY BREATHING,
385
00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:26,915
BUT I COULDN'T BE CERTAIN.
386
00:18:26,939 --> 00:18:30,774
LOOK, THEY'RE BACK. I WONDER
WHAT MR. LUCAS HAS DONE NOW.
387
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:32,821
HE PUT HIS KNEE IN A
CUSTOMER'S TROUSERS.
388
00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:34,712
WAS THE CUSTOMER STILL IN THEM?
389
00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:37,281
NO, HE DID IT TO STRETCH THEM.
390
00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:40,985
WE USED TO DO IT WITH BRAS
BEFORE WE HAD SO MANY CUP SIZES.
391
00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:43,654
- WHAT, OVER YOUR KNEE?
- NO.
392
00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:47,363
AS A MATTER OF FACT, WE USED
THE DOORKNOB IN THE LADIES'.
393
00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:51,873
NOW WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
394
00:18:51,897 --> 00:18:54,865
I'M SENDING THIS
NOTE TO MISS BRAHMS...
395
00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:56,367
AIR MAIL.
396
00:18:56,436 --> 00:18:59,237
Humphries: MISSED BY A MILE.
397
00:18:59,305 --> 00:19:03,025
YOU'D BETTER GO AND GET
IT BEFORE PEACOCK SEES IT.
398
00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:05,610
WHERE ARE YOU GOING, MR. LUCAS?
399
00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:08,357
I WAS JUST STRETCHING
MY LEGS, CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
400
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:10,248
- BACK TO YOUR OWN AREA.
- YES, SIR.
401
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,816
BLIMEY! IT'S LIKE
BEING IN COLDITZ.
402
00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:21,526
- HE'S PICKED IT UP.
- ARE YOU FREE, MRS. SLOCOMBE?
403
00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:24,094
AT THE MOMENT, CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
404
00:19:24,164 --> 00:19:27,176
I MENTIONED YOUR
COMPLAINT TO MR. GRAINGER,
405
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,800
AND HE, ON HIS PART,
ALSO MADE A COMPLAINT
406
00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:31,413
ABOUT THE VIEW OF THE LADIES'
407
00:19:31,437 --> 00:19:33,249
FITTING ROOM FROM
HIS DEPARTMENT.
408
00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:34,705
WHAT WAS HE COMPLAINING ABOUT?
409
00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:38,342
THAT HE COULD
SEE, OR HE COULDN'T?
410
00:19:38,411 --> 00:19:41,290
MRS. SLOCOMBE, I DON'T THINK HE'S
QUITE AS BROAD-MINDED AS WE ARE.
411
00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:43,674
OH, DO SOMETHING
ABOUT THAT, WILL YOU?
412
00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:48,886
- WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THERE?
- IT'S A BIT OF PAPER.
413
00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:50,932
CAPTAIN PEACOCK GAVE IT TO ME.
414
00:19:50,956 --> 00:19:52,390
OOH, IT'S A NOTE.
415
00:19:52,458 --> 00:19:55,125
PASS MY GLASSES, MISS BRAHMS.
416
00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:04,735
"DEAR SEXY KNICKERS...
417
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:08,372
I DON'T HALF FANCY YOU.
418
00:20:08,441 --> 00:20:12,076
MEET ME OUTSIDE AT 5:30,
419
00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:15,346
AND WE'LL GET IT TOGETHER."
420
00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:17,548
GET WHAT...?
421
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,083
WELL, REALLY.
422
00:20:19,151 --> 00:20:22,587
I DIDN'T THINK YOU
HAD SEXY KNICKERS.
423
00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:26,357
AS A MATTER OF FACT,
THEY'RE DIRECTOIRE.
424
00:20:26,426 --> 00:20:28,959
SOME MEN GET QUITE WORKED
UP ABOUT THEM, YOU KNOW?
425
00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:31,362
OVER DIRECTOIRE KNICKERS?
426
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:34,865
WELL, THERE IS AN AIR
OF MYSTERY ABOUT THEM.
427
00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:37,768
WELL, THERE WAS
DURING THE WAR ANYWAY.
428
00:20:37,837 --> 00:20:40,671
I SUPPOSE WITH ALL THOSE
BOMBS FALLING DOWN AT THE TIME,
429
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:43,441
IT MADE 'EM A BIT MORE
EXCITING. YOU GONNA GO?
430
00:20:43,509 --> 00:20:45,776
WELL, FROM THE TONE OF THE NOTE,
431
00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:48,946
MY FIRST INSTINCT
WAS TO REFUSE, BUT...
432
00:20:49,014 --> 00:20:51,349
WELL, HE IS THE HEAD
OF THE DEPARTMENT,
433
00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:53,195
AND I AM AT A LOOSE END.
434
00:20:53,219 --> 00:20:55,553
I'M NOT SURPRISED, IN
DIRECTOIRE KNICKERS.
435
00:20:55,622 --> 00:20:57,788
THAT'LL DO, MISS BRAHMS.
436
00:20:57,857 --> 00:21:01,158
WELL, OF COURSE, I SHALL
HAVE TO GIVE A REPLY.
437
00:21:01,227 --> 00:21:04,828
I THINK I SHALL BE DISCREET
AND USE THE TELEPHONE.
438
00:21:12,037 --> 00:21:14,538
SHE'S READ YOUR NOTE, AND
SHE'S PICKED UP THE PHONE.
439
00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:16,752
SHE'S NOT GONNA PHONE
THE HEAD OF THE DEPARTMENT.
440
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,809
- ( telephone rings )
- THAT'S OURS.
441
00:21:18,878 --> 00:21:20,645
SHE PROBABLY WANTS
TO SPEAK TO YOU.
442
00:21:20,713 --> 00:21:23,191
- TELL HER I'VE
GONE DOWNSTAIRS.
- WHAT STAIRS?
443
00:21:23,215 --> 00:21:25,048
THESE.
444
00:21:27,453 --> 00:21:29,587
( husky voice ) MENSWEAR.
445
00:21:32,558 --> 00:21:35,359
WILL YOU CONNECT ME WITH
CAPTAIN PEACOCK, PLEASE?
446
00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:37,428
HOLD ON. CAPTAIN PEACOCK?
447
00:21:37,497 --> 00:21:39,497
ARE YOU FREE?
448
00:21:39,565 --> 00:21:42,333
- YES, I'M FREE.
- PHONE.
449
00:21:44,904 --> 00:21:49,072
WHILE YOU'RE DOWN THERE, I
SHOULD WRITE OUT YOUR RESIGNATION.
450
00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:50,508
CAPTAIN PEACOCK HERE.
451
00:21:50,576 --> 00:21:53,377
( seductively ) HELLO,
CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
452
00:21:53,446 --> 00:21:55,780
THIS IS SEXY KNICKERS.
453
00:22:02,755 --> 00:22:05,088
WOULD YOU MIND REPEATING THAT?
454
00:22:06,292 --> 00:22:09,226
THIS IS SEXY KNICKERS.
455
00:22:09,295 --> 00:22:12,229
THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT YOU SAID.
456
00:22:12,298 --> 00:22:15,110
I BEG YOUR PARDON, BUT AM
I SPEAKING TO A CUSTOMER?
457
00:22:15,134 --> 00:22:19,169
( sly laugh ) NAUGHTY BOY.
458
00:22:19,238 --> 00:22:21,372
CUSTOMER, INDEED.
459
00:22:21,441 --> 00:22:24,141
NOW, I'M NOT PROMISING ANYTHING,
460
00:22:24,210 --> 00:22:28,045
BUT I'LL MEET YOU
OUTSIDE AT 5:30.
461
00:22:30,616 --> 00:22:32,282
HOW SHALL I KNOW YOU?
462
00:22:32,352 --> 00:22:35,919
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
HOW SHALL YOU KNOW ME?
463
00:22:35,988 --> 00:22:39,724
- YOU SENT ME THE NOTE.
- TO WHOM AM I SPEAKING?
464
00:22:39,792 --> 00:22:42,326
DO YOU MEAN YOU
REALLY DON'T KNOW?
465
00:22:42,395 --> 00:22:45,896
- I HAVE NO IDEA.
- THANK HEAVEN FOR THAT.
466
00:22:45,965 --> 00:22:47,732
WHAT DID HE SAY?
467
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,835
WELL, HE IMPLIED THAT
HE NEVER SENT THE NOTE.
468
00:22:50,903 --> 00:22:52,514
"TO WHOM AM I TALKING TO?"
469
00:22:52,538 --> 00:22:55,351
HE SAYS IN THAT "ROYAL
SIGNALS" VOICE OF HIS.
470
00:22:55,375 --> 00:22:57,842
BUT YOU'VE GOT HIS
NOTE THERE IN YOUR HAND.
471
00:22:57,910 --> 00:23:02,112
WELL, IF HE DIDN'T
INTEND IT FOR ME...
472
00:23:02,181 --> 00:23:05,883
- IT WAS FOR ME?
- HAVE YOU SHOWN HIM
ANY ENCOURAGEMENT?
473
00:23:05,951 --> 00:23:08,586
I'VE NEVER SHOWN HIM ANYTHING.
474
00:23:08,654 --> 00:23:11,467
- I'M GONNA GIVE HIM
A PIECE OF MY MIND.
- AND QUITE RIGHT.
475
00:23:11,491 --> 00:23:13,557
FANCY ASKING A JUNIOR OUT.
476
00:23:13,626 --> 00:23:16,159
CAPTAIN PEACOCK, PLEASE.
477
00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:18,106
I'LL SOON TRIM HIS
FEATHERS FOR HIM.
478
00:23:18,130 --> 00:23:20,063
HAS HE EVER MOLESTED YOU, DEAR?
479
00:23:20,132 --> 00:23:22,244
NO, BUT HE DID HAVE A
FUNNY LOOK ON HIS FACE
480
00:23:22,268 --> 00:23:24,913
THAT TIME HE OFFERED TO
HELP ME DOWN WITH MY CORSETS.
481
00:23:24,937 --> 00:23:28,773
- WHAT?
- OFF THE TOP SHELF
IN THE STOCKROOM.
482
00:23:28,841 --> 00:23:30,875
( telephone rings )
483
00:23:30,943 --> 00:23:34,478
ANOTHER LADY ON THE
PHONE FOR CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
484
00:23:34,547 --> 00:23:36,547
SHH.
485
00:23:43,355 --> 00:23:45,489
CAPTAIN PEACOCK
SPEAKING. WHO IS THERE?
486
00:23:45,558 --> 00:23:48,025
THIS IS SEXY KNICKERS HERE.
487
00:23:49,495 --> 00:23:51,507
ANYTHING I CAN DO,
CAPTAIN PEACOCK?
488
00:23:51,531 --> 00:23:53,631
JUST A ROUTINE INQUIRY.
489
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:57,234
I WANTED TO TELL YOU
THAT I COULDN'T FANCY YOU
490
00:23:57,303 --> 00:23:59,637
IF YOU WERE THE LAST MAN
LEFT IN GENTS' READYMADE.
491
00:23:59,705 --> 00:24:02,606
If I was your age,
I'd take myself...
492
00:24:02,675 --> 00:24:04,742
HOLD ON TO THIS FOR
A MOMENT, WILL YOU?
493
00:24:04,811 --> 00:24:07,177
- YES, CAPTAIN PEACOCK.
- that sewer you call a mind,
494
00:24:07,246 --> 00:24:09,313
instead of running
around like some Peter Pan
495
00:24:09,381 --> 00:24:11,916
what's been knocking
back the pep pills.
496
00:24:11,984 --> 00:24:14,318
IS THAT A COMPLAINT,
MR. HUMPHRIES?
497
00:24:14,386 --> 00:24:16,821
IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING,
YES, MR. GRAINGER.
498
00:24:16,889 --> 00:24:18,989
I'D BETTER TAKE IT.
499
00:24:19,058 --> 00:24:22,025
JUST BECAUSE I LET YOU
TAKE MY CORSETS DOWN ONCE
500
00:24:22,094 --> 00:24:24,728
DOESN'T MEAN TO
SAY THAT I FANCY YOU.
501
00:24:27,667 --> 00:24:30,987
IF I HAVE ANY MORE OF YOUR OLD GUFF,
I'M GONNA HAVE YOU ON THE CARPET.
502
00:24:31,036 --> 00:24:34,171
- MIND WHAT YOU SAY.
- I THINK MISS BRAHMS
HAS SAID ENOUGH.
503
00:24:34,239 --> 00:24:37,385
I THINK SOME
EXPLANATION IS CALLED FOR.
504
00:24:37,409 --> 00:24:41,011
IS EVERYTHING ALL
RIGHT, MR. GRAINGER?
505
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:45,415
SOME LADY SAYS SHE WANTS
TO HAVE ME ON THE CARPET.
506
00:24:48,420 --> 00:24:52,523
IT MUST BE MEANT
FOR SOFT FURNISHINGS.
507
00:24:52,592 --> 00:24:56,026
WOULD YOU MIND IF I WENT
HOME EARLY TODAY, MR. GRAINGER?
508
00:24:56,095 --> 00:24:57,928
AREN'T YOU FEELING WELL?
509
00:24:57,997 --> 00:25:00,731
I THINK HE'S GOING TO
HAVE A HEART ATTACK.
510
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:02,744
YES, I SHALL FIND
OUT WHO WROTE THIS.
511
00:25:02,768 --> 00:25:04,702
AND YOU KNOW ME, MRS. SLOCOMBE.
512
00:25:04,770 --> 00:25:07,270
I DON'T REST UNTIL I GET
TO THE BOTTOM OF THINGS.
513
00:25:08,941 --> 00:25:11,208
GLASS OF WATER FOR MR. GRAINGER.
514
00:25:11,276 --> 00:25:14,979
- BUT HE HASN'T ASKED
FOR A GLASS OF WATER.
- HE WILL.
515
00:25:15,047 --> 00:25:17,593
- ARE YOU FREE,
MR. GRAINGER?
- YES, I'M FREE.
516
00:25:17,617 --> 00:25:20,551
- MR. HUMPHRIES?
- YES, I'M FREE.
517
00:25:20,620 --> 00:25:22,452
IS MR. LUCAS FREE?
518
00:25:22,522 --> 00:25:24,666
I THINK HE'S GOING TO BE
FREE FOR A VERY LONG TIME.
519
00:25:24,690 --> 00:25:26,356
AH, LUCAS.
520
00:25:26,425 --> 00:25:27,725
NOW...
521
00:25:27,793 --> 00:25:30,661
I HAVE HERE A BILL HEAD
FROM THIS DEPARTMENT
522
00:25:30,730 --> 00:25:34,398
ON WHICH IS WRITTEN,
"DEAR SEXY KNICKERS,
523
00:25:34,466 --> 00:25:36,634
I DON'T HALF FANCY YOU.
524
00:25:36,702 --> 00:25:39,036
MEET ME OUTSIDE
AT HALF PAST 5:00,
525
00:25:39,104 --> 00:25:41,104
AND WE'LL GET IT TOGETHER."
526
00:25:44,977 --> 00:25:48,478
NOW, THEN, IT IS MY DUTY
AS HEAD OF THIS DEPARTMENT
527
00:25:48,548 --> 00:25:50,915
TO ASK EACH ONE OF YOU
IF YOU WROTE THIS NOTE.
528
00:25:50,983 --> 00:25:52,494
MR. GRAINGER, DID YOU WRITE IT?
529
00:25:52,518 --> 00:25:55,920
I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND IT.
530
00:25:58,724 --> 00:26:01,592
MR. GRAINGER WOULDN'T
SAY, "DEAR SEXY KNICKERS."
531
00:26:01,661 --> 00:26:04,227
YOU'D SAY, "DEAR SEXY
BLOOMERS," WOULDN'T YOU?
532
00:26:04,296 --> 00:26:07,031
I VERY MUCH DOUBT IT.
533
00:26:07,099 --> 00:26:08,944
MR. HUMPHRIES, DID
YOU WRITE THIS NOTE?
534
00:26:08,968 --> 00:26:11,501
NO, BUT THANKS
FOR THE COMPLIMENT.
535
00:26:13,806 --> 00:26:16,239
WELL, IN VIEW OF
THOSE TWO DENIALS,
536
00:26:16,308 --> 00:26:18,442
I CAN COME TO ONLY
ONE CONCLUSION.
537
00:26:20,512 --> 00:26:23,313
SHALL I LEAVE NOW
OR WORK TILL 5:30?
538
00:26:23,382 --> 00:26:26,116
WE'LL LEAVE THE MATTER
OF YOUR FUTURE IN ABEYANCE.
539
00:26:26,185 --> 00:26:28,030
BUT WHAT YOU WILL
DO, IS APOLOGIZE
540
00:26:28,054 --> 00:26:30,732
TO THE LADIES' DEPARTMENT FOR
THE DISTRESS YOU HAVE CAUSED.
541
00:26:30,756 --> 00:26:32,322
- NOW?
- YES, NOW.
542
00:26:32,391 --> 00:26:35,492
YES, NOW!
543
00:26:35,561 --> 00:26:37,561
YOU CAME OUT OF THAT VERY WELL.
544
00:26:37,630 --> 00:26:40,842
IT GIVES ME A CHANCE TO GET OVER
THERE, CHAT SHIRLEY UP AND ASK HER OUT.
545
00:26:40,866 --> 00:26:43,701
IF YOU FELL IN THE DARK,
YOU'D COME UP WITH COAL.
546
00:26:50,042 --> 00:26:52,175
ARE YOU FREE, MRS. SLOCOMBE?
547
00:26:52,244 --> 00:26:54,878
WELL, AT THE MOMENT, MR. LUCAS.
548
00:26:56,048 --> 00:26:57,982
I'M AFRAID I'VE BEEN
549
00:26:58,050 --> 00:26:59,962
A BIT OF A NAUGHTY
BOY, MRS. SLOCOMBE.
550
00:26:59,986 --> 00:27:02,519
HAVE YOU, MR. LUCAS?
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO?
551
00:27:02,588 --> 00:27:04,755
WELL, YOU KNOW THAT NOTE
552
00:27:04,824 --> 00:27:07,725
THAT YOU THOUGHT CAME
FROM CAPTAIN PEACOCK?
553
00:27:07,793 --> 00:27:10,427
- YES.
- IT WAS FROM ME.
554
00:27:11,563 --> 00:27:13,163
WELL...
555
00:27:13,232 --> 00:27:16,433
I SHOULD'VE GUESSED
ALL THE TIME, SHOULDN'T I?
556
00:27:16,502 --> 00:27:18,268
WHAT?
557
00:27:20,572 --> 00:27:23,907
I'VE SEEN THE WAY YOU'VE
BEEN LOOKING AT ME.
558
00:27:25,410 --> 00:27:26,910
HAVE I?
559
00:27:26,979 --> 00:27:30,681
BUT YOU'RE A VERY
NAUGHTY BOY SENDING NOTES.
560
00:27:30,750 --> 00:27:32,683
YOU SHOULD'VE COME
ACROSS IN THE OPEN
561
00:27:32,752 --> 00:27:34,752
AND COME OUT WITH IT.
562
00:27:39,759 --> 00:27:43,527
- SHOULD I?
- YOU SHOULDN'T BE SO SHY.
563
00:27:43,595 --> 00:27:48,365
YOU KNOW, YOU'RE MORE
ATTRACTIVE THAN YOU THINK.
564
00:27:48,433 --> 00:27:50,801
( tensely ) AM I...?
565
00:27:50,870 --> 00:27:54,638
OOH, IT'S 5:30. I'LL JUST PUT MY
HAT ON AND MEET YOU OUTSIDE.
566
00:27:54,707 --> 00:27:57,841
MIND YOU, I'M NOT
PROMISING ANYTHING.
567
00:27:59,478 --> 00:28:02,312
( theme music plays )
568
00:28:05,951 --> 00:28:08,630
♪ GROUND FLOOR... PERFUMERY,
STATIONERY, AND LEATHER GOODS ♪
569
00:28:08,654 --> 00:28:11,388
♪ WIGS AND HABERDASHERY
KITCHENWARE AND FOOD... ♪
570
00:28:11,456 --> 00:28:13,456
♪ GOING UP... ♪
571
00:28:17,229 --> 00:28:19,963
♪ FIRST FLOOR... TELEPHONES,
GENTS' READYMADE SUITS ♪
572
00:28:20,032 --> 00:28:22,833
♪ SHIRTS, SOCKS, TIES, HATS,
UNDERWEAR AND SHOES ♪
573
00:28:22,902 --> 00:28:24,902
♪ GOING UP... ♪
574
00:28:28,908 --> 00:28:31,675
♪ SECOND FLOOR... CARPETS,
TRAVEL GOODS AND BEDDING ♪
575
00:28:31,744 --> 00:28:34,411
♪ MATERIAL, SOFT FURNISHINGS
RESTAURANT AND TEAS ♪
576
00:28:34,479 --> 00:28:36,479
♪ GOING DOWN. ♪
45083
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof