All language subtitles for According to Jim s08e03 Jami McFame
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Ewe
Faroese
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Ga
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Interlingua
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kurdish (SoranĂ®)
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lingala
Lithuanian
Lozi
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Nigerian Pidgin
Northern Sotho
Norwegian
Norwegian (Nynorsk)
Occitan
Oriya
Oromo
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Punjabi
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Runyakitara
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Serbo-Croatian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Spanish (Latin American)
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Tatar
Telugu
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Tshiluba
Tumbuka
Turkish
Turkmen
Twi
Uighur
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,499 --> 00:00:06,320
Hey, what are you doing out here? We're
supposed to watch the game.
2
00:00:06,860 --> 00:00:10,200
And why do I detect the faint smell of
gasoline in the air?
3
00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:12,020
Snow removal's a racket.
4
00:00:12,860 --> 00:00:14,400
Snow blowers are expensive.
5
00:00:15,260 --> 00:00:17,680
So, I put gas on the walkway.
6
00:00:17,940 --> 00:00:24,900
I don't follow, Jim. Well, I figure,
light it on fire, fire melts snow, snow
7
00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:28,520
makes water, water puts out fire, Jim
gets beer.
8
00:00:28,940 --> 00:00:30,160
Jim gets to watch the game.
9
00:00:30,460 --> 00:00:32,320
Oh, I like it.
10
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:37,520
Hey, if Jim's flamethrower snowblower
works, we could sell it to the city for
11
00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:39,000
snow removal all over town.
12
00:00:39,260 --> 00:00:40,620
My God, Andy, we'd be rich.
13
00:00:41,020 --> 00:00:43,340
Hey, we could buy a snowblower.
14
00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:46,940
I'd like that sucker up.
15
00:00:48,420 --> 00:00:52,320
Okay, science, do your stuff.
16
00:00:58,890 --> 00:01:01,990
Sorry, Jim. I don't think it's going to
do anything. Whoa, look at that!
17
00:01:02,370 --> 00:01:03,370
It's working!
18
00:01:04,370 --> 00:01:08,350
What was that to neighbor's cat?
19
00:01:09,290 --> 00:01:10,290
Fluffy!
20
00:01:10,450 --> 00:01:11,750
Fluffy, run! Fluffy, run!
21
00:01:12,090 --> 00:01:14,710
No, no, no, don't run! Stop, drop, and
roll! Stop, drop, and roll!
22
00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:16,370
Run! But not under my car!
23
00:01:16,890 --> 00:01:17,890
Fluffy!
24
00:01:18,330 --> 00:01:19,550
Oh, Fluffy!
25
00:01:20,290 --> 00:01:22,210
You broke my car!
26
00:01:25,170 --> 00:01:28,110
At least the walkway is completely
clear.
27
00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:30,840
Oh,
28
00:01:31,820 --> 00:01:32,820
Fluffy!
29
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:38,940
He's completely fine.
30
00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:45,300
A Christmas miracle.
31
00:02:03,500 --> 00:02:05,280
or that's the best we ever sounded.
32
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:09,979
Oh, well, I have been practicing. Did
you guys check out my awesome new riff?
33
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:15,900
You know, it's not funny when you guys
unplug my keyboard.
34
00:02:16,540 --> 00:02:17,540
Yes, it is.
35
00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:24,220
Daddy, guess what? You're never going to
believe this. What happened? Is
36
00:02:24,220 --> 00:02:25,540
somebody bleeding? Is Gracie hurt?
37
00:02:26,140 --> 00:02:30,600
I'm Gracie. Right, right, right. There
was a contest, and we entered a CD of
38
00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:31,600
your band.
39
00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:32,640
This band?
40
00:02:33,890 --> 00:02:36,570
Jamie McFame is doing a benefit concert
here in Chicago.
41
00:02:36,850 --> 00:02:38,870
And you're her backup band and we get to
meet her.
42
00:02:39,110 --> 00:02:43,130
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Jamie McFame.
43
00:02:43,950 --> 00:02:47,970
Who the hell is Jamie McFame? What is
wrong with you?
44
00:02:49,210 --> 00:02:53,190
I think she's some singer who does dumb
kids movies. Dumb kids movies?
45
00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:57,570
All right, look, I'm not going to play
for some crummy kid.
46
00:02:57,850 --> 00:02:59,430
Some crummy kid?
47
00:03:07,679 --> 00:03:10,820
Video games? A cookbook, Jim Herfield,
Marsala.
48
00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:14,980
No. All right, this is a serious blues
band.
49
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:19,000
We're now going to back up some lip
-syncing bubblegum pop star.
50
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:22,780
I told you, a rich man like Daddy
doesn't care about $1 ,000.
51
00:03:24,620 --> 00:03:25,620
$1 ,000.
52
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:29,060
All right, get out of here. We need to
practice.
53
00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:30,440
One, two, three.
54
00:03:53,290 --> 00:03:56,870
No sawdust on the floor, the waitresses
are cute, and it doesn't smell like
55
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:59,110
puke. Hey, look.
56
00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:02,110
Jamie McFame and friends.
57
00:04:02,930 --> 00:04:04,570
We're the friends! We're the friends!
58
00:04:06,070 --> 00:04:09,250
There you are. Hi, I'm Sheila, Jamie's
manager.
59
00:04:09,570 --> 00:04:10,209
Oh, hi.
60
00:04:10,210 --> 00:04:13,690
You must be, um, Daddy and his creepy
buddy.
61
00:04:15,210 --> 00:04:19,230
Well, I'm Daddy, and the band name is
what my daughters put on the form.
62
00:04:20,170 --> 00:04:21,589
Unless you're looking for creepy.
63
00:04:22,079 --> 00:04:23,080
Because we can do creepy.
64
00:04:25,520 --> 00:04:27,800
Hey, guys. Look, it's my new band.
65
00:04:28,220 --> 00:04:29,220
What's with the camera?
66
00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:33,440
Jamie shoots a daily... Video diary for
a website. For $9 .95 a month, it's like
67
00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,840
you're on tour with her. I was right
there when she met the Des Moines
68
00:04:36,840 --> 00:04:37,840
of Commerce.
69
00:04:39,260 --> 00:04:40,260
Hi, guys.
70
00:04:41,220 --> 00:04:44,280
I'm Jamie. Hi. Are you going to help me
rock this place tomorrow night?
71
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:47,140
We sure are, Jamie. You know, as U .S.
Americans... Cut!
72
00:04:50,670 --> 00:04:54,190
ask you a question on camera, you smile
and say yes.
73
00:04:54,590 --> 00:04:57,510
Well, I was just trying to... Trying to
what? Annoy me?
74
00:04:58,370 --> 00:05:00,030
You two, stand on my island.
75
00:05:00,950 --> 00:05:02,070
Dude, get a haircut.
76
00:05:03,710 --> 00:05:07,790
You... smell like sausage.
77
00:05:09,970 --> 00:05:11,730
Sheila! I'll be in my dressing room.
78
00:05:11,950 --> 00:05:12,950
Yes, Jamie.
79
00:05:14,250 --> 00:05:16,070
And I want them in costume.
80
00:05:20,300 --> 00:05:21,299
Believe that?
81
00:05:21,300 --> 00:05:22,300
I know.
82
00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:24,340
We get to work!
83
00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:29,820
Jamie's audience expect to hear the
songs exactly as they are on the CD.
84
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:32,740
We McFamiacs are a demanding bunch.
85
00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:36,780
All right, well, let's just do the song
again.
86
00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:38,320
Not till you apologize.
87
00:06:39,540 --> 00:06:40,540
What?
88
00:06:43,880 --> 00:06:46,700
I'm sorry, Jamie. Please forgive me.
89
00:06:47,180 --> 00:06:48,180
Nothing wrong.
90
00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,360
Do not blow this for us.
91
00:06:51,140 --> 00:06:52,960
Apologize. I'm not going to apologize
for this.
92
00:06:53,460 --> 00:06:54,800
Think of the money, Jim.
93
00:06:57,690 --> 00:06:58,970
Gracie. Me.
94
00:07:04,270 --> 00:07:05,470
Hey, look.
95
00:07:06,190 --> 00:07:07,770
I didn't mean to upset you.
96
00:07:08,530 --> 00:07:09,530
And?
97
00:07:10,570 --> 00:07:12,990
And it won't happen again.
98
00:07:13,890 --> 00:07:14,890
Because?
99
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:19,550
Because you're the star and we're the
band.
100
00:07:19,810 --> 00:07:20,810
Except when?
101
00:07:23,930 --> 00:07:24,930
Except...
102
00:07:28,140 --> 00:07:28,919
with this, Jamie.
103
00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:32,360
Then just say, I'm sorry, Jamie. It was
all my fault.
104
00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:41,660
I'm... I'm out of here.
105
00:08:01,740 --> 00:08:03,860
It's really hard to take you seriously
when you're wearing a belt made out of
106
00:08:03,860 --> 00:08:04,860
candy.
107
00:08:07,500 --> 00:08:10,260
Oh, my gosh. That is so awesome.
108
00:08:10,580 --> 00:08:11,960
That makes you Gregory Great.
109
00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:17,300
This is the greatest week ever. We
invited all of our friends to the
110
00:08:17,480 --> 00:08:20,700
It's like the rest of our lives are
going to be totally better because of
111
00:08:24,740 --> 00:08:28,540
Um, girls, I think there's been a slight
change of plans.
112
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:30,440
What did you do?
113
00:08:36,159 --> 00:08:38,600
Jamie McFame and I had a little creative
difference.
114
00:08:40,120 --> 00:08:41,820
And the band isn't going to play the
show.
115
00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:44,500
I told you to hide his harmonica.
116
00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:48,500
Come on, she was being a little brat, so
I quit.
117
00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:53,860
You know, girls, it was the right thing
to do. You should be very proud of your
118
00:08:53,860 --> 00:08:54,860
daddy. Thank you.
119
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:56,900
We have no daddy.
120
00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:11,320
a piece of your belt?
121
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:24,500
Okay, here come the girls.
122
00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:28,440
When they walk by, say, I love you,
Daddy, really loud.
123
00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:31,260
I love you, Daddy, really loud.
124
00:09:36,180 --> 00:09:38,060
Should we try it again later, Daddy?
125
00:09:38,460 --> 00:09:39,439
I don't know.
126
00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:41,020
That's three times. Hasn't worked yet.
127
00:09:43,380 --> 00:09:47,160
Oh, Andy, great, great, great. Look,
when the girls come down, I want you to
128
00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:53,020
on my lap and say, ah, forget it. No,
Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim. Can't you just suck
129
00:09:53,020 --> 00:09:57,020
up and apologize to Jamie McFann? No.
Please, Jim. I want to play that
130
00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:58,660
I want to be Barry Blueberry.
131
00:09:59,420 --> 00:10:04,080
I have my pride, Andy. And for the
record, Gregory Grape is way better than
132
00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:05,080
Barry Blueberry.
133
00:10:06,220 --> 00:10:11,220
Jim. It's like Jamie sings in her song.
When the cookies burn, you make more
134
00:10:11,220 --> 00:10:14,420
batter. That's what it takes to make
your life matter.
135
00:10:16,780 --> 00:10:18,240
What does it even mean?
136
00:10:18,680 --> 00:10:23,200
It means she's a nine -year -old Bob
Dylan and I want to be her friend.
137
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:26,800
Jim. Please. No. I'll do anything. Here
comes that girl. What the hell?
138
00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:33,640
Get off of me. Not until you apologize
to Jamie McBain.
139
00:10:35,820 --> 00:10:39,440
Look, Jim, I know you're upset about the
way Jamie treated you, and I am on your
140
00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:44,340
side 100%. But... Cheryl, I am not going
to work for some out -of -control kid.
141
00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:46,560
I'm a rat.
142
00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:49,360
I'm a rat.
143
00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,520
She needs to be punished, Cheryl.
144
00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:58,200
Okay. But right now, the only people
being punished are your little girls.
145
00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:00,740
Right now, my little boys are being
punished.
146
00:11:19,310 --> 00:11:22,990
This concert is very important to my
daughters, and strangely enough, to my
147
00:11:22,990 --> 00:11:23,990
brother -in -law.
148
00:11:25,110 --> 00:11:26,110
Oh?
149
00:11:27,090 --> 00:11:31,550
Uh, so I'd like another chance to prove
I can be a good team player.
150
00:11:32,290 --> 00:11:33,290
And?
151
00:11:34,010 --> 00:11:37,310
And, uh, I would do anything to prove
that.
152
00:11:37,930 --> 00:11:39,530
Including, but not limited to?
153
00:11:41,510 --> 00:11:45,170
Um... Sheila, can you help me here?
154
00:11:47,110 --> 00:11:49,190
It's important to Jamie that you
apologize.
155
00:11:59,810 --> 00:12:00,810
Sorry.
156
00:12:03,290 --> 00:12:04,350
Here, what do you think?
157
00:12:04,810 --> 00:12:06,510
We don't have time to find another band.
158
00:12:11,710 --> 00:12:13,510
Good news, Jim, you can play.
159
00:12:13,790 --> 00:12:15,350
But we're not going to pay you.
160
00:12:20,680 --> 00:12:24,620
really for my girls so as long as they
can sit in the front row
161
00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:30,380
back row fine
162
00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:33,900
free back row seats are great
163
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:53,580
I said, rich.
164
00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,540
You must be very rich.
165
00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:29,980
I got some of those online.
166
00:13:31,580 --> 00:13:32,640
Take a couple of these.
167
00:13:33,540 --> 00:13:35,380
Sequin headbands? What the fudge?
168
00:13:36,820 --> 00:13:38,200
Sorry we were mad at you, Daddy.
169
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,300
Yeah, you're the best dad ever.
170
00:13:40,660 --> 00:13:41,680
I'm glad to hear it.
171
00:13:42,020 --> 00:13:44,560
I will savor this moment till you want
something else.
172
00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:46,320
Okay, let's go to our seats.
173
00:13:46,860 --> 00:13:48,160
You got us front row, right?
174
00:13:48,500 --> 00:13:49,500
Absolutely.
175
00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:50,920
Front row to the exit.
176
00:14:14,380 --> 00:14:15,760
And that's my cookie.
177
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:17,920
I know.
178
00:14:18,780 --> 00:14:22,060
Would this be a good time to get one of
those sequin headbands?
179
00:14:24,780 --> 00:14:25,779
Right, later.
180
00:14:25,780 --> 00:14:27,420
I don't need a headband.
181
00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:29,260
Because I have your hairbrush!
182
00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:34,900
I'm sorry I touched your food. It won't
happen again.
183
00:14:48,590 --> 00:14:54,650
her parents she needs like the world's
longest time out actually i'm her mom
184
00:14:54,650 --> 00:15:01,350
seriously what attracted you to her
father
185
00:15:01,350 --> 00:15:06,950
the horns of the pitchfork why do you
put up with that she made 16 million
186
00:15:06,950 --> 00:15:12,730
dollars last year i don't care how much
money 16 million and you touched her
187
00:15:12,730 --> 00:15:16,590
cookies it doesn't matter how much she
makes
188
00:15:17,310 --> 00:15:18,650
No kid should act like that.
189
00:15:18,930 --> 00:15:21,650
I just wish there was someone around to
stand up to her.
190
00:15:21,930 --> 00:15:23,770
Uh, hello? You are her mother.
191
00:15:24,030 --> 00:15:26,830
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. The house is in
her name.
192
00:15:27,570 --> 00:15:31,650
My house is in my name. Let me take a
whack at her. Oh, I would love that.
193
00:15:32,090 --> 00:15:35,750
But make sure you really knock her out.
If you just stun her, she comes up
194
00:15:35,750 --> 00:15:36,750
biting.
195
00:15:37,830 --> 00:15:40,150
Oh, oh, you mean just talk to her? Oh,
okay.
196
00:15:40,410 --> 00:15:43,970
Yeah, but still, be careful about the
biting. Okay, okay, okay. Don't worry
197
00:15:43,970 --> 00:15:45,210
about me. Sit down, sit down.
198
00:15:50,890 --> 00:15:55,950
Okay, little girl, you are in a timeout.
You're not leaving this room until you
199
00:15:55,950 --> 00:15:57,290
apologize to your mother.
200
00:15:59,930 --> 00:16:01,610
Oh, boo -hoo.
201
00:16:02,210 --> 00:16:05,010
I'm on a timeout. You're fired.
202
00:16:08,630 --> 00:16:09,630
You know what?
203
00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:15,010
I bet you love going on that stage and
singing in front of that audience more
204
00:16:15,010 --> 00:16:16,230
than anything in the world.
205
00:16:16,730 --> 00:16:17,730
So what?
206
00:16:18,670 --> 00:16:19,710
So this.
207
00:16:26,190 --> 00:16:31,190
You're not going to do tonight's show or
any other show until you learn to show
208
00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:32,190
people respect.
209
00:16:34,070 --> 00:16:35,310
You're bluffing.
210
00:16:37,230 --> 00:16:38,230
Am I?
211
00:16:54,070 --> 00:16:55,650
Is she going to bite me?
212
00:16:57,260 --> 00:16:58,260
eyes roll back.
213
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:06,359
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome
Jamie McFadden.
214
00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:12,040
I'm almost going to toss his breath.
215
00:17:12,579 --> 00:17:13,579
Are you going to apologize?
216
00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:16,500
No.
217
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:19,260
I think I might play a little harmonica.
218
00:17:21,460 --> 00:17:25,900
I call this one Waiting for Jamie to
Apologize Blues.
219
00:17:49,490 --> 00:17:50,490
And?
220
00:17:51,390 --> 00:17:53,790
And I shouldn't talk to my mother like
that.
221
00:17:56,590 --> 00:17:57,590
Because?
222
00:17:58,530 --> 00:18:04,930
Because she works hard to take care of
me, and I should treat her as well as
223
00:18:04,930 --> 00:18:05,930
treats me.
224
00:18:11,950 --> 00:18:13,270
Despite any and all?
225
00:18:16,790 --> 00:18:17,790
Come here, Jamie.
226
00:18:21,930 --> 00:18:24,250
I don't care how famous you are, you're
still a nine -year -old kid.
227
00:18:25,890 --> 00:18:29,630
All right, I want you to apologize to
your mother when you give her a cookie
228
00:18:29,630 --> 00:18:30,630
a hug.
229
00:18:44,630 --> 00:18:45,790
I'm sorry, Sheila.
230
00:18:47,290 --> 00:18:48,290
Call her mom.
231
00:18:49,730 --> 00:18:50,730
Sorry, Mom.
232
00:18:57,770 --> 00:19:00,550
Okay. Now go get your jacket and have a
really good show.
233
00:19:00,770 --> 00:19:01,770
Okay, Mom.
234
00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:04,210
Wow.
235
00:19:04,530 --> 00:19:05,910
You're really a good father.
236
00:19:06,210 --> 00:19:09,210
Well, thank you, but you only think that
because you're a really bad mother.
237
00:19:11,330 --> 00:19:12,810
Oh, one more thing.
238
00:19:14,490 --> 00:19:16,950
The band doesn't have to wear these
crazy outfits, do we?
239
00:19:17,970 --> 00:19:20,370
Yeah, how about just the fat guy who
stole my brush?
240
00:19:21,370 --> 00:19:22,370
Deal.
17194
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.