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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,500 --> 00:00:04,700 Yes. Now this is a sandwich, my friend. 2 00:00:05,140 --> 00:00:06,840 Mom doesn't want ham and cheese anymore. 3 00:00:07,060 --> 00:00:08,400 Now she wants salami. 4 00:00:10,020 --> 00:00:11,020 Salami it is? 5 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:16,580 You know, Annie, when your wife's about to have twins, it's like you're a short 6 00:00:16,580 --> 00:00:18,020 -order cook 24 -7. 7 00:00:18,820 --> 00:00:21,140 Forget the salami. Now she wants turkey. 8 00:00:23,260 --> 00:00:24,260 Turkey it is? 9 00:00:25,080 --> 00:00:27,860 You know, Annie, you can help me here a little bit. Oh, yeah, sure. 10 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:32,540 That turkey is poison -free. Carry on. 11 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:37,280 Now Mom wants bologna, or she says she's gonna go ape crap. 12 00:00:40,120 --> 00:00:41,120 Bologna it is. 13 00:00:42,380 --> 00:00:43,780 Grego wants bologna. 14 00:00:44,940 --> 00:00:47,060 Grego gets bologna. 15 00:00:47,360 --> 00:00:48,360 Uh -oh. 16 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:49,980 Text message from Cheryl. 17 00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:53,080 No sandwich, just apple. Approaching ape crap. 18 00:00:55,540 --> 00:00:56,540 Fine. 19 00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:59,020 You know what? This may look like a pain. 20 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:02,520 But in the end, it'll all be worth it. Because I'll have two screaming kids 21 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:04,440 puking on me at four in the morning. 22 00:01:06,780 --> 00:01:08,500 Yes. Good job, troops. 23 00:01:09,140 --> 00:01:10,140 Lunchtime. 24 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:14,060 You know, we could have made our own sandwiches. 25 00:01:14,420 --> 00:01:15,840 It's better when we trick them. Shut it. 26 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:24,360 Oh, baby. 27 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:27,800 Hey. 28 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:29,160 How's your mother? 29 00:01:29,310 --> 00:01:30,310 Really hungry? 30 00:01:30,510 --> 00:01:31,870 She almost bit me. 31 00:01:32,530 --> 00:01:33,970 Good, good, good, good. That's good. 32 00:01:34,770 --> 00:01:36,490 And then she set her hair on fire. 33 00:01:37,990 --> 00:01:39,450 Ah, that's great, honey. That's great. 34 00:01:41,010 --> 00:01:42,450 You're not listening to me. 35 00:01:42,650 --> 00:01:44,370 Yeah, no, you can have friends over, just no boys. 36 00:01:46,150 --> 00:01:48,030 How many days are there in April? 37 00:01:48,430 --> 00:01:49,430 Thirty. 38 00:01:49,670 --> 00:01:50,750 Isn't this a leap year? 39 00:01:52,330 --> 00:01:53,330 Doesn't matter. 40 00:01:53,470 --> 00:01:58,310 All right, then it's official. Your Uncle Andy is a complete fat -headed 41 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,380 You need a calendar to keep track of that. 42 00:02:02,740 --> 00:02:04,820 Do you remember Uncle Andy's birthday last year? 43 00:02:05,420 --> 00:02:06,760 Yeah, I'm almost in Florida. 44 00:02:07,280 --> 00:02:08,720 You made me bake a cake. 45 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:10,699 Yes, the cake. 46 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:13,160 The first disappointment of that evening. 47 00:02:15,260 --> 00:02:16,260 Yay! 48 00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:18,540 Happy birthday! 49 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:26,300 Now, who wants a piece of this train wreck? 50 00:02:30,090 --> 00:02:30,709 I'm only 12. 51 00:02:30,710 --> 00:02:31,710 Make your own cake. 52 00:02:34,030 --> 00:02:36,850 Well, Andy, happy birthday to you. 53 00:02:38,070 --> 00:02:40,910 Holy crap. 54 00:02:41,550 --> 00:02:44,210 A gift certificate to Sir Stephen B. 55 00:02:44,570 --> 00:02:50,370 Steakhouse? Yeah, yeah. It's worth 200 bucks. So you just have to pick a friend 56 00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:53,970 who likes steak and go wild. 57 00:02:54,510 --> 00:02:56,250 Oh. Hmm. 58 00:02:56,550 --> 00:02:57,550 Let's see. 59 00:02:57,920 --> 00:03:00,040 You're a friend and you like steak. 60 00:03:01,140 --> 00:03:02,140 Do I? 61 00:03:04,260 --> 00:03:05,880 I remember I do. 62 00:03:07,260 --> 00:03:13,280 Oh, man. The best gift ever from the best friend ever. 63 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:14,700 When can we go? 64 00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:20,080 Oh, we can go whenever we want. But remember, this expires in six months, so 65 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:21,079 don't forget it. 66 00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:23,500 I could never forget something this generous. 67 00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:25,800 Not in a million years. 68 00:03:26,620 --> 00:03:32,480 That was five months and 29 days ago. It expires tomorrow, and he still hasn't 69 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:33,480 used it. 70 00:03:33,660 --> 00:03:34,900 Maybe he took a date. 71 00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:47,160 No, no, absolutely not. I have been keeping track of every one of Andy's 72 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:48,360 for the past six months. 73 00:03:49,180 --> 00:03:54,960 And I know for a fact he hasn't used that card, and he's on a 56 -day no 74 00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:55,960 streak. 75 00:03:58,030 --> 00:04:01,170 I can't believe I just wasted $200 on that jerk. 76 00:04:02,090 --> 00:04:03,990 Well, luckily, it's the thought that counts. 77 00:04:04,810 --> 00:04:06,310 It's the what that what's? 78 00:04:07,810 --> 00:04:11,790 Your generosity, your heart. You give someone a gift because it makes them 79 00:04:11,790 --> 00:04:12,789 good. 80 00:04:12,790 --> 00:04:16,769 No. You give someone a gift, honey, to get a credit. 81 00:04:18,250 --> 00:04:22,470 That way, they gotta get you a gift even better than the one you gave them. 82 00:04:23,550 --> 00:04:25,210 And then, you're ahead. 83 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:27,880 As long as you die first. 84 00:04:30,860 --> 00:04:33,140 But when I give someone a gift, I have no expectation. 85 00:04:34,420 --> 00:04:38,720 Baby, you gave me a picture for a man on a popsicle stick. 86 00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:43,060 What expectations could you possibly have? 87 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:48,400 Well, I think you should give Uncle Andy the benefit of the doubt. I would, but 88 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:49,860 he probably wouldn't use it for six months. 89 00:04:55,530 --> 00:04:57,030 Ask you to have a steak dinner with him. 90 00:04:57,790 --> 00:04:59,390 You know what, Ruby? Maybe you're right. 91 00:04:59,730 --> 00:05:01,990 Maybe tonight is steak night. 92 00:05:02,350 --> 00:05:05,430 Hey, new taco place on Viz Street. 93 00:05:06,670 --> 00:05:07,930 Te amo, taco. 94 00:05:08,250 --> 00:05:09,250 Te amo. 95 00:05:11,390 --> 00:05:15,170 Do you have any plans for dinner tomorrow night, Uncle Andy? 96 00:05:15,550 --> 00:05:18,670 No. Thursdays I teach water aerobics at the senior center. 97 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:24,380 Been trying to get some alone time with Rose, but her husband just sits there 98 00:05:24,380 --> 00:05:26,680 glaring at me from behind his oxygen mask. 99 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:31,440 As if he's some big shot. Ooh, I'm an ex -cop. 100 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,700 You'll excuse me. I believe the Alamo's about to fall to the Mexicans. 101 00:05:41,320 --> 00:05:44,160 Ruby, that's my best friend. 102 00:05:45,420 --> 00:05:48,360 He forgot the most generous gift I have ever given. 103 00:05:48,970 --> 00:05:51,650 Why don't you just remind him that he has the gift certificate? It's the 104 00:05:51,650 --> 00:05:53,070 principle of the thing. 105 00:05:53,350 --> 00:05:54,350 What principle? 106 00:05:54,890 --> 00:05:55,910 Come on, honey. 107 00:05:56,290 --> 00:05:57,290 Wake up! 108 00:05:58,450 --> 00:05:59,470 Pointless male pride! 109 00:06:02,090 --> 00:06:06,990 Mom! Come on, catch up! Come on, get him! Ain't got a boy to talk to. 110 00:06:11,050 --> 00:06:12,050 Kyle. 111 00:06:13,090 --> 00:06:14,330 The TV's not on. 112 00:06:20,599 --> 00:06:22,340 pretending. Dang, almost again. 113 00:06:25,360 --> 00:06:29,620 Kyle, you know what? I need your opinion on something. 114 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:36,440 Let's say that you gave Gracie a really nice gift, like a puppy. 115 00:06:36,800 --> 00:06:38,560 We're getting a puppy? No. 116 00:06:39,280 --> 00:06:42,760 No, let's just say you gave her a gift. 117 00:06:43,340 --> 00:06:45,620 And she put this puppy in her drawer. 118 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:51,980 If you don't get that puppy out of the drawer by tomorrow, that puppy's gonna 119 00:06:51,980 --> 00:06:52,980 die. 120 00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:55,360 If he dies, can we get a kitty? 121 00:06:58,980 --> 00:06:59,980 Focus! 122 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:09,020 If I don't get that puppy out of that drawer, it's gonna die. 123 00:07:09,560 --> 00:07:11,200 What should Daddy do? 124 00:07:11,620 --> 00:07:14,440 You gotta save it! I love that puppy! 125 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:17,560 I know you do. 126 00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:20,020 I love that puppy, too. 127 00:07:21,060 --> 00:07:22,760 I'm going to go save the puppy! 128 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:24,120 Yeah! 129 00:07:24,180 --> 00:07:27,300 Jill! I'm going to dinner. Watch the kids. 130 00:07:28,180 --> 00:07:30,720 Gracie! Give me back my puppy! 131 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:40,160 Sir? 132 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:43,040 Yes? I checked with our manager. 133 00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:46,160 Since you have your receipt, we'll be happy to accept your gift certificate. 134 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:48,780 Oh, that's great, because I licked all the silverware already. 135 00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,660 Can I start you off with a drink? Oh, I drank before I came. 136 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:58,860 Ah, let's see. 137 00:07:59,400 --> 00:08:03,460 I want $200 worth of meat. 138 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:06,240 All kinds of meat. 139 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:09,600 Would you like to hear our specials? 140 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,020 Do you have a $200 meat sampler? 141 00:08:13,540 --> 00:08:14,760 No. Okay, then. 142 00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:19,420 I'll have the ribeye steak, the porterhouse steak, some crab legs. 143 00:08:19,640 --> 00:08:23,400 Oh, and by the way, give me a heads up when I hit 185 bucks. 144 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:28,580 I'm almost afraid to tell you this, but all those entrees come with salads. 145 00:08:30,740 --> 00:08:31,740 Meat salads? 146 00:08:49,740 --> 00:08:50,740 Are you okay, sir? 147 00:08:51,940 --> 00:08:52,940 Fantastic. 148 00:08:54,780 --> 00:08:56,300 Would you like to see a dessert menu? 149 00:08:58,520 --> 00:08:59,520 Yes. 150 00:09:01,080 --> 00:09:04,520 But you'll have to hold it for me because I can't lift my arms. 151 00:09:44,330 --> 00:09:46,410 You enjoy your reheated mac and cheese? 152 00:09:49,010 --> 00:09:51,690 I had three steaks and a rack of lamb. 153 00:09:53,470 --> 00:09:56,230 You used Uncle Andy's gift certificate, didn't you? 154 00:09:56,510 --> 00:09:57,510 Damn right I did. 155 00:09:59,810 --> 00:10:01,530 $198 .50. 156 00:10:03,090 --> 00:10:04,090 Right there. 157 00:10:04,850 --> 00:10:07,830 But I thought it was... Hey, I'm no monster. I left a tip. 158 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:15,120 me like that. 159 00:10:15,580 --> 00:10:17,500 He was never going to use that certificate. 160 00:10:17,820 --> 00:10:19,260 You know it. Never. 161 00:10:19,860 --> 00:10:22,880 Oh, Jim, I am such a dummy. 162 00:10:23,280 --> 00:10:24,280 Agreed. Continue. 163 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:28,580 You remember that gift certificate you gave me for my birthday? 164 00:10:35,940 --> 00:10:36,940 Vaguely. 165 00:10:37,500 --> 00:10:42,540 Well, here's the thing. I completely forgot about it. I know I'm the biggest 166 00:10:42,540 --> 00:10:43,540 jerk ever. 167 00:10:47,950 --> 00:10:51,470 It must have fallen out of my wallet because I found it in between a couple 168 00:10:51,470 --> 00:10:54,830 couch cushions. But the good news is, it doesn't expire until tomorrow. 169 00:10:57,030 --> 00:10:58,710 That is good news. 170 00:11:02,070 --> 00:11:06,110 So, me and my best buddy can go eat ourselves sick on steak. 171 00:11:08,450 --> 00:11:09,570 That sounds great. 172 00:11:12,110 --> 00:11:15,430 But, but, but, oh, you got that aerobics class tomorrow. You don't want to 173 00:11:15,430 --> 00:11:16,590 disappoint those old people. 174 00:11:17,020 --> 00:11:19,920 Please. I show up on Friday, tell them it's Thursday. They don't know the 175 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:20,920 difference. 176 00:11:21,620 --> 00:11:22,620 So what do you think? 177 00:11:24,940 --> 00:11:25,940 Yeah, Daddy. 178 00:11:26,180 --> 00:11:27,180 What do you say? 179 00:11:30,220 --> 00:11:32,020 I say let's do it. 180 00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:36,420 I can't remember the last time I had a good steak. 181 00:12:06,440 --> 00:12:07,440 I don't care about that. 182 00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:09,100 The shirt, the pants, do they match? 183 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,800 It's fine. Oh, thank you, sweetheart. 184 00:12:12,540 --> 00:12:14,720 You already used up Uncle Andy's gift certificate. 185 00:12:15,120 --> 00:12:16,120 What are you going to do? 186 00:12:16,260 --> 00:12:17,760 I'm going to make it very simple for you, honey. 187 00:12:18,180 --> 00:12:22,620 I'm going to enjoy a fantastic expensive steak, and then when the check comes, 188 00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:27,020 I'm going to go to the bathroom, ditch out, and leave the check for Andy. 189 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:30,280 Daddy, that's terrible! 190 00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:33,660 Oh, Ruby, my sweet Ruby. 191 00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:34,920 Sit down, honey. 192 00:12:35,820 --> 00:12:37,260 Let me break this down for you. 193 00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:42,280 I can either get in trouble with Uncle Andy and not have steak, or get in 194 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:44,040 trouble with Uncle Andy and have steak. 195 00:12:45,340 --> 00:12:46,340 Have a good night. 196 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:53,720 You know, you could secretly give the waiter $200 and 197 00:12:53,720 --> 00:12:55,660 let Uncle Andy think that nothing happened. 198 00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:57,800 Why won't I do that? 199 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:03,300 I already spent $200 on him. No, you spent $200 on you. 200 00:13:03,900 --> 00:13:06,620 I might not be a grown -up, but I think that's the right thing to do. 201 00:13:07,740 --> 00:13:09,180 The right thing to do? 202 00:13:09,940 --> 00:13:11,560 What does it have to do with anything? 203 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:18,920 You know, your mother can sit there and fold her legs and fold her arms and give 204 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:22,540 me that look and try to guilt me into doing the right thing, but don't think 205 00:13:22,540 --> 00:13:23,540 can. 206 00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:29,140 Damn it. 207 00:13:31,260 --> 00:13:32,260 Fine. 208 00:13:32,540 --> 00:13:33,540 I'll do it. 209 00:13:36,660 --> 00:13:38,320 But it's the last time! 210 00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:48,500 I tell you what, Jim, if I die tonight, I'll die a happy man. 211 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:50,680 I hear you, Andy. 212 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:53,360 No, I'm serious. I may die tonight. 213 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:58,760 Can you believe I forgot this gift certificate? 214 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:01,480 It's almost like I don't deserve this dinner. 215 00:14:04,349 --> 00:14:07,390 Almost. You must have been stewing about it for months. 216 00:14:08,730 --> 00:14:09,730 Well, you know what, Andy? 217 00:14:10,510 --> 00:14:15,990 When I gave you this gift certificate, the look on your face was worth the 218 00:14:16,790 --> 00:14:21,330 And now, having this meal tonight, it's like it's another $200. 219 00:14:23,950 --> 00:14:24,950 Whoa, 220 00:14:25,910 --> 00:14:28,950 hey. Hey, whoa, wait. What are you, my cardiologist? 221 00:14:30,430 --> 00:14:32,030 I was going to eat that fast. 222 00:14:35,069 --> 00:14:36,069 Hey, buddy. 223 00:14:36,570 --> 00:14:37,570 Buddy, come here. 224 00:14:38,330 --> 00:14:42,010 Well, we're almost out of steak, but I know the sous chef keeps a horse at his 225 00:14:42,010 --> 00:14:43,010 house. 226 00:14:44,370 --> 00:14:45,890 No, no, no. It's not that. 227 00:14:48,110 --> 00:14:52,270 Listen, this guy I'm with is going to try to use that gift certificate that I 228 00:14:52,270 --> 00:14:53,270 used last night. 229 00:14:53,610 --> 00:14:57,870 So when he presents it, just go with it, all right? And on my way out, I'll flip 230 00:14:57,870 --> 00:14:58,870 you $200. 231 00:14:59,470 --> 00:15:02,610 How would you be serving that horse tonight? 232 00:15:10,839 --> 00:15:13,740 Jim, this is probably the most generous gift ever. 233 00:15:14,180 --> 00:15:18,260 Oh, come on, man. It was no big deal. Oh, sure it was. You're the cheapest guy 234 00:15:18,260 --> 00:15:19,260 know. 235 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:22,740 Andy, I am not cheap. 236 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,120 I'm thrifty. There's a difference. 237 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,280 Yeah, yeah. Cheap costs less. That's why you're cheap. 238 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:30,340 I'm the generous one. 239 00:15:31,340 --> 00:15:33,180 I'm not going to argue with you tonight, all right? 240 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:36,660 But trust me, I'm being twice as generous as you think. 241 00:15:36,900 --> 00:15:38,160 Are you kidding me? 242 00:15:38,540 --> 00:15:41,260 You remember your last birthday? I got you that satellite radio? 243 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:45,040 Because nothing's too good for my best buddy, Mr. Cheap. 244 00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,660 Well, if you'll excuse me, Mr. 245 00:15:50,860 --> 00:15:52,200 Cheap has to go to the bathroom. 246 00:15:52,820 --> 00:15:55,380 I understand it's free. I may go twice. 247 00:15:57,120 --> 00:16:00,680 Hey, put a roll of toilet paper in your pocket, because it's free. 248 00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:08,440 You know, Andy, while I'm away, Why don't you order dessert? 249 00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:11,500 Order whatever you want. It's on me. 250 00:16:11,860 --> 00:16:16,020 Even if it goes over the generous $200 I've already spent. 251 00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:18,860 I love this big, cheap guy! 252 00:16:21,740 --> 00:16:24,120 You know the plan I gave you before? 253 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:27,160 Forget it. Stick the bill to Mr. Generous over here. 254 00:16:28,460 --> 00:16:31,240 I am the luckiest boy in the world. 255 00:16:38,700 --> 00:16:39,700 the Sacred Hearts. 256 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:43,620 Coming up next, four hours of uninterrupted blues on the Satellite 257 00:16:43,620 --> 00:16:45,000 Network. Ah! 258 00:16:45,460 --> 00:16:48,880 Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! 259 00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:55,080 Ah! 260 00:16:55,580 --> 00:16:56,239 Ah! Ah! 261 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:57,320 Ah! Ah! 262 00:16:57,540 --> 00:16:58,439 Ah! Ah! 263 00:16:58,440 --> 00:16:59,240 Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! 264 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:00,240 Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! 265 00:17:00,940 --> 00:17:02,780 Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! 266 00:17:03,220 --> 00:17:04,220 Ah! Ah! 267 00:17:04,579 --> 00:17:05,579 Ah! 268 00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:07,020 Ah! 269 00:17:08,270 --> 00:17:11,329 Why, listen, Missy. Oh, too fast, too fast. 270 00:17:12,930 --> 00:17:14,130 What the hell? 271 00:17:19,510 --> 00:17:22,369 You used my gift card and then you ditched me? 272 00:17:22,630 --> 00:17:25,690 You're damn right I did. Whoa, too fast. Oh, God. 273 00:17:25,970 --> 00:17:30,090 I had to shell out 250 bucks, walk home. I almost got hit by a car. 274 00:17:30,530 --> 00:17:33,230 And I dropped my other swans. 275 00:17:34,650 --> 00:17:37,550 How could you do that to me? How could I do that to you? 276 00:17:37,770 --> 00:17:39,050 How could you do this to me? 277 00:17:39,310 --> 00:17:40,269 What did I do to you? 278 00:17:40,270 --> 00:17:42,470 You spit in the face of my gift card. 279 00:17:42,690 --> 00:17:44,330 So you used it without me? 280 00:17:44,910 --> 00:17:47,950 I rescued it like a puppy from the drawer. 281 00:17:49,030 --> 00:17:51,870 And then I tried to do the right thing and you called me cheap. 282 00:17:52,270 --> 00:17:54,330 I am not cheap. 283 00:17:54,690 --> 00:17:58,810 Oh, I'm sorry. The altruistic philanthropist skipped out on the check. 284 00:18:00,190 --> 00:18:01,190 Ruby? 285 00:18:02,490 --> 00:18:03,910 I'm selfish do -gooder. 286 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,160 How dare you? 287 00:18:07,780 --> 00:18:13,440 Pepper, I spent $200 on that certificate for you because it was your birthday. I 288 00:18:13,440 --> 00:18:16,520 wanted to show you how much you mean to me. 289 00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:17,720 Actually, Dad. 290 00:18:18,860 --> 00:18:20,600 How's Uncle Andy's birthday cake coming? 291 00:18:20,940 --> 00:18:24,160 Really good. We're out of baking soda, so I used diet soda. 292 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:27,200 Good thinking. 293 00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:33,340 What'd you get Uncle Andy? Oh, I got him what I call the birthday combo package. 294 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:35,320 Flashlight. 295 00:18:35,980 --> 00:18:38,480 A ten pound can of chocolate pudding. 296 00:18:40,260 --> 00:18:41,260 Jumper candles. 297 00:18:42,300 --> 00:18:45,760 Dad, he's your best friend. You have to get him something more than that. 298 00:18:45,980 --> 00:18:46,859 I did. 299 00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:47,860 Pickles. 300 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,420 He's family, Dad. And that jar is half empty. 301 00:18:52,220 --> 00:18:54,400 Correction. Half full. 302 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,440 Final. I'll get him something good. 303 00:19:07,820 --> 00:19:13,320 You had to be talked into this present you stole from me after I so generously 304 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:15,060 gave you that satellite radio? 305 00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,620 It crackles when I drive under bridges. 306 00:19:17,940 --> 00:19:21,960 It's a good gift, Jim. And it came from my heart because I'm the generous one. 307 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,260 Not so fast. 308 00:19:24,460 --> 00:19:26,800 Is that Daddy's birthday present? Sure is. 309 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:27,759 What'd you get him? 310 00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:33,420 Oh, he is gonna love it. I got him a moose that poops candy, a naked lady 311 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:34,820 and... 312 00:19:35,580 --> 00:19:36,580 Jumper cables. 313 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:41,840 Fine, I'll get him something good. 314 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:47,180 I think I know what the problem is here. I think I do, too. 315 00:19:53,940 --> 00:19:54,940 It's your fault. 316 00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:58,980 Me? What did I do? 317 00:19:59,180 --> 00:20:00,820 You forced us to be generous. 318 00:20:02,100 --> 00:20:05,700 We would have been perfectly happy with the... gifts that we planned for each 319 00:20:05,700 --> 00:20:07,780 other, but you had a sticky little nose in it. 320 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:13,720 Andy, do you still have that candy pooping moose? 321 00:20:15,140 --> 00:20:16,740 If you still have that pudding. 322 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:20,600 Come on over here and give me a big hug. 323 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,240 I just can't move, Jim. Something's going to pop. 324 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:32,640 Well, let's just hold hands. 325 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,040 Oh, I tasted a little bit of that. 326 00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:42,900 You two are crazy. 327 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:47,020 Do something about her, Jim. She's ruining our moment. 328 00:20:48,900 --> 00:20:50,240 What can I say, Ruby? 329 00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,820 You're growing up, but you're not your mother yet. 330 00:20:54,580 --> 00:20:58,620 So I forbid you to act like her until you have your own grown -up man to 331 00:20:58,620 --> 00:20:59,620 manipulate. 332 00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:05,050 Yeah, ruin. his life. Stay the H out of ours. 333 00:21:06,830 --> 00:21:08,030 Hold on a second. 334 00:21:09,110 --> 00:21:10,790 You gotta make this right. 335 00:21:12,930 --> 00:21:14,230 Andy, are you free tomorrow night? 336 00:21:15,450 --> 00:21:16,890 Is everything okay over here? 337 00:21:17,670 --> 00:21:20,190 Keep it coming till all this money's gone. 338 00:21:22,810 --> 00:21:24,990 Hey, what do we do if she can't cover this? 339 00:21:25,810 --> 00:21:26,850 Sneak out the bathroom. 340 00:21:29,490 --> 00:21:31,110 You want a piece, honey? Can't have it. 24208