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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,370 --> 00:00:04,490 Oh, Andy, I am so excited for Cheryl to see this. 2 00:00:04,870 --> 00:00:08,630 I don't know what's more shocking, that you remembered your anniversary or that 3 00:00:08,630 --> 00:00:11,090 you didn't just buy a gift at the gas station on the way home. 4 00:00:11,790 --> 00:00:13,530 Andy, you can only get away with that once. 5 00:00:14,990 --> 00:00:20,090 Cheryl, for once, let me be the first to say, happy anniversary. 6 00:00:22,270 --> 00:00:23,390 Oh, my God. 7 00:00:24,470 --> 00:00:25,470 You remember? 8 00:00:25,510 --> 00:00:28,630 Yeah, yeah. Wow, how'd you fit five sticks of beef jerky in that little box? 9 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:40,760 Thank you. Oh, you're welcome. 10 00:00:42,020 --> 00:00:43,240 So, where's mine? 11 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,000 In the driveway? 12 00:00:45,260 --> 00:00:46,260 Or the bedroom? 13 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:50,380 Not even close. No, huh? 14 00:00:50,940 --> 00:00:52,640 Dana, you want to help me with dinner? Sure. 15 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:53,960 Okay. 16 00:00:55,920 --> 00:00:57,840 You think she knows how much that cost? 17 00:00:58,140 --> 00:01:00,660 She will in a second. I left the price tag on the box. 18 00:01:02,320 --> 00:01:04,680 Nice. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 19 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:08,100 Jim remembered her anniversary and I didn't. Meh. 20 00:01:08,430 --> 00:01:11,570 So you did one bad thing. Jim's still ahead by 8 ,694. 21 00:01:12,930 --> 00:01:14,970 There's no way I can go out there without a present. 22 00:01:15,930 --> 00:01:18,990 Oh, I can't believe I forgot our anniversary. 23 00:01:19,530 --> 00:01:20,950 I can't believe you're still having them. 24 00:01:40,910 --> 00:01:41,910 but it is from the heart. 25 00:01:42,010 --> 00:01:43,010 Happy anniversary. 26 00:01:44,990 --> 00:01:45,990 Wow. 27 00:01:46,510 --> 00:01:48,470 This is all for me? Just for you. 28 00:01:49,990 --> 00:01:51,630 Wow, look at this. 29 00:01:52,670 --> 00:01:54,290 Uh -huh. 30 00:01:54,810 --> 00:01:56,450 There I am. 31 00:01:56,670 --> 00:01:58,050 I used to be so thin. 32 00:01:58,570 --> 00:01:59,570 That's Cheryl. 33 00:01:59,830 --> 00:02:03,250 Well, we have similar features, and I own the same tub. 34 00:02:04,430 --> 00:02:06,270 Oh, look at Kyle. 35 00:02:06,470 --> 00:02:08,389 He's so cute in his little stroller. 36 00:02:10,759 --> 00:02:11,900 happened to that stroller? 37 00:02:16,260 --> 00:02:18,320 You know, I've seen Cheryl do this before. 38 00:02:19,660 --> 00:02:25,280 She just presses a button and the whole thing collapses. 39 00:03:24,010 --> 00:03:25,950 We're not the most graceful family. No. 40 00:03:26,310 --> 00:03:31,130 Oh, I remember my first dance recital. I was nine, and I danced just... 41 00:03:57,500 --> 00:03:58,500 great. Yeah. 42 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:15,760 thing. I just finished gutting a fish. 43 00:05:16,420 --> 00:05:19,800 That's my wife. Hard on the bass and easy on the eyes. 44 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:24,520 Cheryl, what are you doing in here wearing that sexy outfit? You're driving 45 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:25,520 crazy. 46 00:05:26,820 --> 00:05:29,320 Jim, it's a sweatshirt and sweatpants. 47 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:31,760 Ponytail, ponytail. 48 00:05:34,460 --> 00:05:35,460 Cheryl, 49 00:05:36,960 --> 00:05:39,540 do you want a pole to do? 50 00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:58,200 Right down the hall. 51 00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:00,080 Oh, keep talking, keep talking, keep talking. 52 00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:02,360 Did you go to the ballet? 53 00:06:02,660 --> 00:06:06,200 Yeah, I wanted to think I was cultured so I could tune in Tokyo, you know? 54 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:12,600 Honey, can I talk to you in the other room? No, I'm not going in the other 55 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:13,600 with you. 56 00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:14,720 To talk? 57 00:06:15,320 --> 00:06:18,760 So you can appeal to my emotions? No way, I'm smarter than that. 58 00:06:19,180 --> 00:06:20,360 I'm in the mood for a quickie. 59 00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:36,540 how much I love you, I'm giving you a special present. 60 00:06:37,420 --> 00:06:38,420 Yes! 61 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:41,940 No, Jim, no, no, no, no, no. 62 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:44,900 Some guys can have sex when they're upset. 63 00:06:45,420 --> 00:06:47,840 I am one of those guys. 64 00:06:49,540 --> 00:06:50,459 Where's Cheryl? 65 00:06:50,460 --> 00:06:51,460 In the bedroom. 66 00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:52,680 Yes! 67 00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:57,220 Okay, okay, here, here, here. Uh, girls, uh, Aunt Dina's gonna take you out for 68 00:06:57,220 --> 00:06:59,300 some ice cream. Come on, go, go, go, go, go, go. What? 69 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:01,960 I need some alone time with your sister. 70 00:07:07,790 --> 00:07:08,790 Want to have sex? 71 00:07:10,650 --> 00:07:11,650 Yeah. 72 00:07:14,050 --> 00:07:15,050 That's good to know. 73 00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:19,690 Wow, 14 years. Yeah. 74 00:07:20,130 --> 00:07:21,990 How have you put up with me for so long? 75 00:07:22,470 --> 00:07:26,170 Truth is, I'm just too tired to start over with anyone new. 76 00:07:30,130 --> 00:07:31,130 What's that? 77 00:07:31,510 --> 00:07:33,810 Well, I guess this is as good a time to tell you as any. 78 00:07:34,330 --> 00:07:35,330 This is a book. 79 00:07:40,010 --> 00:07:46,990 do anything perfect i married you i'm kidding that is 80 00:07:46,990 --> 00:07:51,550 a cheap shot cheryl i am storing that one oh you mean where your hair used to 81 00:07:51,550 --> 00:07:57,270 come on there is a fire in this belly yeah good luck putting that out 82 00:07:57,270 --> 00:08:03,910 hey cheryl you've got to make one of those for us yeah we'll get right on 83 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:11,080 See, this is why better -looking guys didn't marry you. 84 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:18,980 Wow, look at Ruby, dressed up as a lady pilgrim. Oh, we have had some wonderful 85 00:08:18,980 --> 00:08:21,500 Thanksgiving. Yeah, some pretty weird ones, too. 86 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:22,920 Okay, 87 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:27,840 it's the first Thanksgiving, and you turn to the pilgrims and you sing... 88 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:32,659 and fish, corn and fish, we have brought our favorite dish. 89 00:08:33,220 --> 00:08:34,539 Welcome to the new... 90 00:08:47,370 --> 00:08:49,550 that from, Gracie? Uncle Andy put it in. 91 00:08:51,010 --> 00:08:53,230 He said we had to send a message to Whitey. 92 00:08:55,010 --> 00:09:00,950 Nothing like a brush with death to put you in the mood for fine English 93 00:09:38,190 --> 00:09:40,850 pictures as me. That's because you take up twice as much of the frame. 94 00:09:42,870 --> 00:09:47,050 Hey, hey, hey, all right. Can we just act like adults for once? Sure. 95 00:09:50,430 --> 00:09:52,930 I'll give you five bucks if you touch that lady's head. 96 00:10:15,020 --> 00:10:16,360 Yes, I do. Well, 97 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:21,060 how would you feel if I pulled it up over your head? 98 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:24,660 You wouldn't dare. 99 00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:26,240 Not in a public place. 100 00:10:55,630 --> 00:10:56,630 We'll see about that. 101 00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:04,430 Well played. 102 00:11:04,990 --> 00:11:07,750 By the way, I've been spitting in your coffee the entire cruise. 103 00:11:08,590 --> 00:11:11,350 Please, I knew you'd do that, so I've been switching it with your coffee. 104 00:11:13,310 --> 00:11:14,310 Damn it! 105 00:11:14,510 --> 00:11:15,850 I drank my own spit. 106 00:11:33,740 --> 00:11:34,740 That's playing. 107 00:11:36,020 --> 00:11:38,140 You know what used to help me with numbers and stuff? 108 00:11:38,660 --> 00:11:42,460 It's like a rhyme or a song or something like that. Give me a beat. Give me a 109 00:11:42,460 --> 00:11:43,460 beat. Give me a beat. 110 00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:49,340 My name is 18. 111 00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:04,050 Sweetheart, let me help you here. 112 00:12:04,530 --> 00:12:06,130 Here, just pick it up. 113 00:12:06,790 --> 00:12:08,930 Here, just let it go. 114 00:12:11,350 --> 00:12:15,430 Now, remember, if you do a good job with the game, I'm going to give you a whole 115 00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:16,430 dollar. 116 00:12:16,650 --> 00:12:18,190 Can I get a lollipop, too? 117 00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:21,130 All right. 118 00:12:21,670 --> 00:12:23,150 But it's going to come out of your dollar. 119 00:12:24,890 --> 00:12:27,610 Take off your snow clothes. Come here, Kyle. Let me take off your coat here. 120 00:12:55,400 --> 00:13:02,080 make a mess when have we ever made a mess will you take it easy oh 121 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:08,960 my god it's gone all right i'll get you a 122 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:12,880 new one it's a 300 beard well i'm not gonna pay 300 123 00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:18,070 When am I not nice? 124 00:15:19,550 --> 00:15:20,550 Please. 125 00:15:21,770 --> 00:15:25,690 And, Dana, will you ever have a baby? Oh, of course I will, sweetie. 126 00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:28,350 But what if you don't? What did I just say? Now get off my back. 127 00:15:28,830 --> 00:15:30,890 Hey, Jim, why don't you lie down on the couch so we can pretend it's your 128 00:15:30,890 --> 00:15:31,890 funeral? 129 00:15:33,890 --> 00:15:36,670 Oh, no, we can't. There's too many people here. 130 00:15:38,010 --> 00:15:40,490 You have the luxury of being yourself because you're married beneath. 131 00:15:47,470 --> 00:15:48,730 None taken. I'm married up. 132 00:15:49,770 --> 00:15:51,930 I love our bed. I don't want to give up our mattress. 133 00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:55,870 To be fair, she's already given up her career, her ambition, and her dignity. 134 00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:34,560 One day she would finally screw up. You're right again. 135 00:16:34,940 --> 00:16:37,400 Yeah, you know more about women than anyone else. 136 00:16:37,600 --> 00:16:40,380 Yes, I have a master's degree in chicology. 137 00:16:41,580 --> 00:16:44,320 It's not a natural thing for men to get married. 138 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:46,260 It just isn't. 139 00:16:47,320 --> 00:16:50,440 I mean, you know, it's the cave women that came up with that. 140 00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:53,840 Because they didn't know how to start fires, you see. 141 00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:58,280 That's the truth. And then man created the wheel to get away. 142 00:17:00,650 --> 00:17:04,710 thing in this room that i picked not one thing look anything there no anything 143 00:17:04,710 --> 00:17:11,250 here no look bonsai tree yours dust ruffle yours duvet 144 00:17:11,250 --> 00:17:14,510 yours and the fact that i even know those words makes my skin 145 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:32,760 bugs now. 146 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:38,040 Come on, all we got is we lift heavy objects in sports. 147 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:39,800 We have sports? 148 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:41,200 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You got sports. 149 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:43,720 You can have your synchronized swimming. 150 00:17:45,120 --> 00:17:49,580 And that thing in the Olympics where they, you know, dance around with a 151 00:17:49,580 --> 00:17:50,580 on a stick. 152 00:17:53,260 --> 00:17:55,700 Which, by the way, is not a sport. 153 00:17:56,800 --> 00:18:00,500 What do you mean it's not a sport? Well, call Vegas. Put a bet on it. 154 00:18:02,050 --> 00:18:05,270 And women sometimes send some crazy messages. 155 00:18:05,950 --> 00:18:07,750 Like your sleeve is not a Kleenex. 156 00:18:08,490 --> 00:18:09,490 Exactly! 157 00:18:10,310 --> 00:18:13,170 I'm damn lucky you're here to set me straight. I know, that's what I've been 158 00:18:13,170 --> 00:18:14,170 telling your mother. 159 00:18:14,450 --> 00:18:18,770 Every time I screw up, we have to sit down and have one of these feelings 160 00:18:21,050 --> 00:18:24,190 All right, but when you screw up, we just want to let it go? 161 00:18:25,050 --> 00:18:29,110 No, I don't want to let it go. I want to have a feelings talk right now. 162 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,980 I want to say the things to you that you say to me. 163 00:18:35,220 --> 00:18:37,140 Look at me. 164 00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,860 Look at me. 165 00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:48,160 What were you thinking? 166 00:18:51,300 --> 00:18:53,260 I am at the end of my road. 167 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:06,200 Happy anniversary. 168 00:19:06,660 --> 00:19:07,499 Thank you. 169 00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:08,500 You know what? 170 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:10,760 Honey, what are you doing? 171 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:12,100 Well, I am so ashamed. 172 00:19:12,460 --> 00:19:16,560 What? Well, you gave me a gift from the heart, and I just went to some mall and 173 00:19:16,560 --> 00:19:18,080 maxed out our credit card. 174 00:19:18,380 --> 00:19:22,520 Honey, I love that candle. No, sure, I know that, but I want to make you 175 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:23,520 something. 176 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:25,660 What? A poem. 177 00:19:28,340 --> 00:19:34,140 With eyes of blue and hair of yellow, you made me feel like a lucky fellow. 178 00:19:34,990 --> 00:19:37,230 You cleaned the house and cooked the food. 179 00:19:37,790 --> 00:19:40,210 Despite three kids, you still look good. 180 00:19:41,830 --> 00:19:45,850 Your love for me, I've always trusted until today. 181 00:19:46,170 --> 00:19:48,970 Because now, you are busted! 182 00:19:51,150 --> 00:19:52,150 Fine, 183 00:19:52,670 --> 00:19:55,930 fine, fine, fine. I deserve that. 184 00:19:56,430 --> 00:19:59,050 I'm an awful person. I forgot our anniversary. 185 00:19:59,510 --> 00:20:01,930 Cheryl. How could I forget that it's a special day? 186 00:20:02,530 --> 00:20:04,070 Cheryl, let me finish my poem. 187 00:20:05,540 --> 00:20:08,480 Our anniversary date was not on your list. 188 00:20:09,220 --> 00:20:14,400 But the perfect gift is just one kiss. 189 00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:58,080 There. 190 00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:00,960 Oh, honey. 191 00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:02,460 Happy anniversary. 192 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,840 It is so beautiful, thank you. 193 00:21:05,060 --> 00:21:06,060 You're welcome. 194 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,160 Are there earrings to go with this? 195 00:21:08,980 --> 00:21:11,880 Uh, maybe for your birthday. 196 00:21:12,220 --> 00:21:13,119 Mm -hmm. 197 00:21:13,120 --> 00:21:15,080 In... August. August. 198 00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:18,600 14th. 23rd. 23rd. 14468