All language subtitles for According to Jim s04e10 Stalking Santa
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1
00:00:03,590 --> 00:00:05,690
Ugh! Come on, come on, come on, come on!
2
00:00:06,290 --> 00:00:09,170
You know, this is what I hate about the
holidays. There's no parking spaces
3
00:00:09,170 --> 00:00:14,070
anywhere. Sounds like somebody could be
the little Christmas spirit. Oh, Cheryl.
4
00:00:14,430 --> 00:00:18,930
We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish
you a Merry Christmas.
5
00:00:19,190 --> 00:00:23,310
We wish you a Merry Christmas. Okay,
okay, okay, I got the stupid spirit now.
6
00:00:23,930 --> 00:00:24,930
Oh,
7
00:00:25,450 --> 00:00:27,690
look, there's a lady with some bags. Ask
her if she's leaving.
8
00:00:27,910 --> 00:00:30,690
Cheryl, I'm not going to ask her
anything. She's old. She's going to want
9
00:00:30,690 --> 00:00:31,690
talk.
10
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:37,720
All right. Shut it off. Shut it off.
Excuse me, ma 'am.
11
00:00:38,660 --> 00:00:40,200
Alan, is that you?
12
00:00:42,260 --> 00:00:44,960
That bird house you built me fell down.
13
00:00:46,020 --> 00:00:47,020
Yeah.
14
00:00:47,140 --> 00:00:49,200
Don't worry. I'll be over tomorrow to
fix it.
15
00:00:51,420 --> 00:00:57,180
I don't know why I ever listen to anyone
but me.
16
00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,760
Oh, look. There's a spot. That guy's
leaving. Oh, good eye. Good eye. Good
17
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,500
Hey, you see that? That shirt just took
my parking spot. I know. I know. We'll
18
00:01:10,500 --> 00:01:13,980
find another one. No, but I found it
first. It's mine. It's mine. It's my
19
00:01:14,060 --> 00:01:15,060
Mine.
20
00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:16,639
It's Christmas.
21
00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:17,640
Let it go.
22
00:01:20,540 --> 00:01:23,700
By next Halloween, your egg in the house
is with me.
23
00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:26,100
Hey.
24
00:01:26,380 --> 00:01:28,460
Hey. He just hit my car.
25
00:01:28,980 --> 00:01:29,919
He's a dead man.
26
00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:32,000
Honey, count to ten. Count to ten.
27
00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:33,940
Ten. Ten.
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00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:35,300
Ten.
29
00:01:36,580 --> 00:01:37,580
Let's not make Mr.
30
00:01:37,740 --> 00:01:41,020
Christmas have to bail you out of jail.
Cheryl, that jerk just backed right into
31
00:01:41,020 --> 00:01:42,940
us. It's the holiday season.
32
00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:45,220
This is the time of year to be our
better self.
33
00:01:45,500 --> 00:01:50,040
Cheryl, why is it always my job to be
the better self? Why can't it be his
34
00:01:50,100 --> 00:01:52,200
Why can't it be the season for him not
to be a sucky driver?
35
00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:56,220
Jim, I want you to be nice because it's
important to me.
36
00:01:58,140 --> 00:01:59,140
Fine.
37
00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:07,800
Merry Christmas.
38
00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:09,620
Idiot! Get back into my van!
39
00:02:09,860 --> 00:02:14,640
Hey, I'm sorry. I was listening to
Howard's turn. He's got two strippers
40
00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:15,640
kissing.
41
00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:16,880
You guys okay?
42
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:17,960
Do we look okay?
43
00:02:18,060 --> 00:02:19,460
Yeah, you look fine. Look, we're fine.
44
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,480
But my car's not fine. You just banged
the hell out of it.
45
00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:25,620
Well, I'll have a look -see. You're
gonna have a look -see. Okay.
46
00:02:25,840 --> 00:02:27,360
You look, and you'll see. I'll see.
47
00:02:28,140 --> 00:02:29,140
Right there.
48
00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:33,060
Yeah, you're right. Looks like I kind of
tagged you a little bit there, didn't
49
00:02:33,060 --> 00:02:34,009
I? Sure.
50
00:02:34,010 --> 00:02:36,010
That's an admission of guilt. Note the
time.
51
00:02:36,530 --> 00:02:39,510
I'll just write out my insurance
information for you. Oh, no, no, no, no.
52
00:02:40,170 --> 00:02:42,110
Insurance is for having, not for using.
53
00:02:42,690 --> 00:02:43,690
I want cash.
54
00:02:43,710 --> 00:02:47,270
No, no, no. Now. No, Jim, that is not
how it works. Sure. But we'll take your
55
00:02:47,270 --> 00:02:49,570
insurance information and we'll be on
our way.
56
00:02:49,870 --> 00:02:51,610
Well, thanks for being so understanding.
57
00:02:52,330 --> 00:02:55,470
And hey, that's a really swell Christmas
scarf you got there.
58
00:02:55,730 --> 00:02:57,190
Oh, thank you. You know, I knitted it
myself.
59
00:02:57,450 --> 00:03:00,050
My brooch, my brooch. It's like... Sure,
no.
60
00:03:01,390 --> 00:03:02,810
Okay, so, uh...
61
00:03:03,340 --> 00:03:05,700
You guys have a super -duper Christmas.
62
00:03:06,020 --> 00:03:07,160
Aw, thank you.
63
00:03:07,540 --> 00:03:08,540
Super -duper Christmas?
64
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:10,560
Who says something like that?
65
00:03:10,980 --> 00:03:15,400
Super -duper... It's Merry Christmas or
Happy Holidays. Have a little spark for
66
00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:16,820
Christmas, you jackass!
67
00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:35,750
So Jacob Marley said to Scrooge, I am
here this night to warn you. You will be
68
00:03:35,750 --> 00:03:38,130
haunted by three spirits.
69
00:03:38,710 --> 00:03:39,710
What are spirits?
70
00:03:40,250 --> 00:03:41,310
You know, ghosts.
71
00:03:42,170 --> 00:03:47,450
We don't like ghosts.
72
00:03:47,870 --> 00:03:48,870
No ghosts!
73
00:03:51,010 --> 00:03:53,350
Okay, um, what do you like?
74
00:03:53,630 --> 00:03:55,230
Hilary Duff. Little Romeo.
75
00:03:55,630 --> 00:03:56,630
Ice cream.
76
00:03:59,130 --> 00:04:06,020
Okay. You will be haunted by Hilary
Duff, Lil' Romeo, and ice
77
00:04:06,020 --> 00:04:07,900
cream. What flavor?
78
00:04:08,220 --> 00:04:10,320
Oh, do you guys want me to read this or
not?
79
00:04:10,640 --> 00:04:12,200
We told you we did it.
80
00:04:13,540 --> 00:04:17,000
Fine. A two -year -old Christmas
tradition is dead.
81
00:04:18,180 --> 00:04:21,060
Well, the tradition of you boring people
out of the room is alive.
82
00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:25,800
Well, well, well, Cheryl, I hope you're
happy.
83
00:04:26,020 --> 00:04:27,940
Well, how could I not be? It's
Christmas.
84
00:04:28,940 --> 00:04:31,600
Get by my musical brooch. Did you look
underneath my hammer?
85
00:04:33,020 --> 00:04:36,020
Cheryl, just got off the phone with the
insurance agent.
86
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:39,600
You know that guy that hit us in the
parking lot? He gave me fake
87
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:41,640
No. Yes, Cheryl.
88
00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:43,460
Isn't that super duper?
89
00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:49,180
Yes, Cheryl. Once again, your blind
faith in humanity has bitten us in the
90
00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:53,260
I should have just handled it the way I
wanted to handle it. Throw his shirt
91
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:54,360
over his head and pants him?
92
00:04:56,460 --> 00:04:59,040
Yes! I should have married you. Oh.
93
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:03,760
Now Cheryl's going to cost us five big
ones to fix it.
94
00:05:04,020 --> 00:05:05,020
$5 ,000?
95
00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:06,700
Well, five medium ones.
96
00:05:08,340 --> 00:05:10,300
$500, Cheryl. We're out $500.
97
00:05:10,900 --> 00:05:14,260
Well, I hope you like love because
that's all I can afford this year.
98
00:05:15,520 --> 00:05:17,800
Well, it's better than that lawnmower
you got her last year.
99
00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:20,560
She got a lot of use out of that
lawnmower.
100
00:05:22,660 --> 00:05:23,660
Look, Jim.
101
00:05:24,030 --> 00:05:27,150
You're right, okay? That guy was a jerk.
That guy was a jerk, and I'm really
102
00:05:27,150 --> 00:05:29,450
sorry about the money. But you know
what?
103
00:05:30,090 --> 00:05:35,010
I am not going to let him or you or
anybody else ruin Christmas for this
104
00:05:35,130 --> 00:05:37,190
Here, I'm sorry. That's already
happened. It's already done. Hey, hey,
105
00:05:37,850 --> 00:05:39,150
It's never too late for Christmas.
106
00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:45,550
Now, I want you to take your kids down
to the mall, put them in Santa's lap,
107
00:05:45,550 --> 00:05:47,290
get some frickin' Christmas spirit. Now!
108
00:05:49,510 --> 00:05:50,510
You know...
109
00:05:50,700 --> 00:05:55,080
I'm the last one to point fingers here,
but it's pretty stupid of you not to
110
00:05:55,080 --> 00:05:58,300
write down that Joker's license plate. I
mean, what were you thinking?
111
00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:02,860
Hey!
112
00:06:13,380 --> 00:06:17,800
That reminds me, I gotta go order my
ham.
113
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:32,120
I just started ringing the bell, and now
it's here, too.
114
00:06:35,460 --> 00:06:39,120
That's a good question, honey. And even
though I've explained it three times
115
00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:42,940
since the parking lot, I'm going to tell
you again.
116
00:06:44,420 --> 00:06:49,980
All the Santas you see are Santa's
helpers, and they report to the real
117
00:06:49,980 --> 00:06:51,760
because he signs their paycheck.
118
00:06:52,940 --> 00:06:54,440
Is this kind of candy cane?
119
00:06:57,220 --> 00:06:59,360
Honey, why don't you give Daddy a break
and just stand over there?
120
00:07:02,540 --> 00:07:04,140
Cruising the food court for hot moms.
121
00:07:05,940 --> 00:07:08,400
And? No bites, just some nibbles.
122
00:07:09,420 --> 00:07:11,440
It's okay. I got nothing but time.
123
00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:15,220
I wouldn't bet on it.
124
00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:17,880
Ho, ho, ho!
125
00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:20,280
Have a super -duper Christmas!
126
00:07:24,660 --> 00:07:25,920
Super -duper Christmas?
127
00:07:26,580 --> 00:07:27,580
That's him!
128
00:07:27,620 --> 00:07:29,040
Who? Santa!
129
00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:31,300
No, it's Santa's helper.
130
00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:36,940
That's the guy that hit our car in the
parking lot. He owes me money.
131
00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,280
Well, you best handle your business, my
man.
132
00:07:41,500 --> 00:07:43,480
You watch the kids. I'm going to talk to
them.
133
00:07:43,700 --> 00:07:44,700
Okay, next.
134
00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:46,080
Whoa.
135
00:07:47,260 --> 00:07:49,980
You're a little big to be sitting in
Santa's lap.
136
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:54,020
Yeah, well, you're a little big to be
wearing those fruity shoes.
137
00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:05,300
me, Santa?
138
00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:09,620
Or do you need the sound of scraping
metal to jog your memory?
139
00:08:11,140 --> 00:08:12,140
Ho, ho, ho!
140
00:08:12,860 --> 00:08:14,660
Santa doesn't know what the hell you're
talking about.
141
00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:17,020
I think you do.
142
00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:21,560
You owe me five big ones to fix my
minivan. Now, come on. Five?
143
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:23,180
Five thousand dollars?
144
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,320
Five hundred. Since when did big mean a
thousand?
145
00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:30,560
Come on, cough it up.
146
00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:32,179
Fake information.
147
00:08:32,179 --> 00:08:35,860
Give me my money. I got my checkbook
right here. Give me the check. I want
148
00:08:35,860 --> 00:08:36,860
money. It better not bounce.
149
00:09:04,110 --> 00:09:06,010
Wouldn't mind unwrapping you Christmas
morning.
150
00:09:10,350 --> 00:09:11,350
Wow.
151
00:09:11,530 --> 00:09:13,470
My Christmas kitty plays rough.
152
00:09:21,070 --> 00:09:23,010
Dana, would you give me some help here?
153
00:09:23,310 --> 00:09:26,050
I don't know if you're going to knit me
one of your handmade Christmas cards
154
00:09:26,050 --> 00:09:27,050
again this year.
155
00:09:28,330 --> 00:09:29,330
Yes, I am.
156
00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:48,370
Not any real authority, you know.
157
00:09:49,850 --> 00:09:52,750
Now she has met us, and we're not going
to get any presents.
158
00:09:53,390 --> 00:09:56,890
Because Santa's helpers are going to
tell him. Now we're going to get coal in
159
00:09:56,890 --> 00:09:57,890
our stockings.
160
00:09:58,330 --> 00:09:59,330
What's coal?
161
00:10:00,330 --> 00:10:04,350
Oh, honey, don't even worry about that.
Mommy and Daddy are going to take care
162
00:10:04,350 --> 00:10:05,350
of everything now.
163
00:10:05,370 --> 00:10:07,890
Why don't you go inside and see if Aunt
Dana will make you some cocoa?
164
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:09,190
Yeah.
165
00:10:17,870 --> 00:10:18,870
Yes, I did.
166
00:10:19,270 --> 00:10:22,210
I certainly did. You know who's saying
it turned out to be? The guy who ran his
167
00:10:22,210 --> 00:10:23,290
car into our minivan.
168
00:10:23,750 --> 00:10:28,690
Yeah, the crook, the criminal, the guy
who ripped us off. But your macho man
169
00:10:28,690 --> 00:10:29,690
five big ones.
170
00:10:30,970 --> 00:10:33,250
Five medium ones, baby, and I'm going to
go celebrate.
171
00:10:33,890 --> 00:10:36,870
I'm going to go celebrate, wait in line
for a little hot cuckoo.
172
00:10:48,270 --> 00:10:49,650
the Christmas spirit. He's Santa.
173
00:10:50,030 --> 00:10:51,190
I'm just a civilian.
174
00:10:52,990 --> 00:10:56,670
Come on, Cheryl. Give me a break. You
know, the kids think Christmas is
175
00:10:56,850 --> 00:10:59,970
No, they don't. Maybe they think that
their father doesn't take crap from
176
00:10:59,970 --> 00:11:00,970
anyone, even Santa.
177
00:11:02,590 --> 00:11:03,810
They don't care about that.
178
00:11:04,130 --> 00:11:05,310
They care about Christmas.
179
00:11:05,990 --> 00:11:09,790
Don't you love seeing their little faces
light up with excitement when they
180
00:11:09,790 --> 00:11:11,130
think Santa's on his way?
181
00:11:11,550 --> 00:11:14,330
Honey, their face lights up with
excitement when they pull a little toy
182
00:11:14,330 --> 00:11:15,330
their cereal box.
183
00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:17,510
So does yours.
184
00:11:19,439 --> 00:11:23,140
Jim, you need to get in the car, take
those kids down to the mall, and make
185
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:24,140
in front of Santa.
186
00:11:24,820 --> 00:11:25,820
Oh, Cheryl.
187
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:28,520
You know what?
188
00:11:28,780 --> 00:11:31,640
That kind of thinking is why you married
down.
189
00:11:34,180 --> 00:11:36,260
Come on. Come on.
190
00:11:36,980 --> 00:11:38,560
I know Christmas, Jim.
191
00:11:49,840 --> 00:11:50,840
and in a food court.
192
00:11:59,020 --> 00:12:00,580
Bit of a dust -up at the card shop.
193
00:12:00,860 --> 00:12:04,340
Long story short, if a big angry husband
comes over here, you and I are a
194
00:12:04,340 --> 00:12:05,340
couple.
195
00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:08,920
What happened to Coleman and Newspaper
for Widows? That seemed to work for a
196
00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:09,920
while.
197
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:13,120
Not really. They always cried during
sex, and that's kind of my thing.
198
00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:20,500
You excited about seeing Santa?
199
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,580
Yeah, because Daddy and Santa are going
to be friends again.
200
00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:27,100
That's right. And you guys are going to
get all your presents.
201
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:28,580
Yay!
202
00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:31,160
Okay, next.
203
00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:33,280
Okay, I'm going to go talk to Santa.
Watch him.
204
00:12:35,180 --> 00:12:37,160
Hey. Oh, no. It's you again.
205
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,480
No, no, no. No, I'm going to call
security.
206
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:42,240
No, no, no. Wait a minute. You don't
have to do that. I just want to talk to
207
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:43,240
Santa, okay?
208
00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:46,960
All I want to do is shake hands with him
and make everything cool for the kids.
209
00:12:47,610 --> 00:12:48,910
Yeah, kids are great.
210
00:12:50,170 --> 00:12:52,810
Mine need new shoes, and they run about
20 bucks.
211
00:12:54,590 --> 00:12:55,650
20 bucks.
212
00:12:57,330 --> 00:12:58,930
You're short, mean, and cheap.
213
00:13:00,210 --> 00:13:01,870
You must be catnip for the ladies.
214
00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:06,650
Hey, Santa.
215
00:13:07,110 --> 00:13:09,850
Oh, no, not you. But just go away.
216
00:13:10,150 --> 00:13:12,950
Where's my elf? Elf to the throne. No,
no, no, no, wait a minute. Please,
217
00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:14,910
please, I don't want any trouble. I
don't want any trouble at all.
218
00:13:16,330 --> 00:13:17,330
Okay, I just...
219
00:13:17,420 --> 00:13:21,940
I just want to shake hands and wave to
the kids, and we'll be on our way. Well,
220
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,700
forget it. I'm not shaking your hand.
221
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:25,020
Santa's not a five.
222
00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:27,100
Wait a minute. Come on.
223
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:30,680
Think down a little deeper, huh? Try to
find your better self. It's Christmas.
224
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:34,720
I'll find my better self at happy hour.
Now, get out of here. Not until you
225
00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:37,840
shake my hand. Hey, kids, look it. I
fixed things with Santa.
226
00:14:29,930 --> 00:14:30,930
the Easter Bunny's ass.
227
00:14:32,310 --> 00:14:36,730
I got no problem with the bunny. He
drops off the chocolate, leaves nice and
228
00:14:36,730 --> 00:14:37,730
quiet.
229
00:14:38,610 --> 00:14:39,610
It's not funny.
230
00:14:39,990 --> 00:14:42,370
It's Christmas Eve and you got into a
fight with Santa.
231
00:14:42,650 --> 00:14:43,830
You went to mall jail.
232
00:14:45,350 --> 00:14:49,690
I tried everything with the guy. I tried
talking with him. I bribed his elf. I
233
00:14:49,690 --> 00:14:51,290
even swapped spit with your brother.
234
00:14:52,910 --> 00:14:55,230
Next time, no garlic pretzels for you.
235
00:14:57,250 --> 00:14:58,350
Next time...
236
00:15:02,570 --> 00:15:03,570
drinking coffee.
237
00:15:04,730 --> 00:15:06,550
You can't have coffee.
238
00:15:06,830 --> 00:15:08,570
Coffee's for grown -ups. Give me that.
239
00:15:08,970 --> 00:15:10,030
You're going to be up all night.
240
00:15:10,390 --> 00:15:12,730
But we have to stay up and talk to
Santa.
241
00:15:13,230 --> 00:15:18,050
If we don't, he'll leave coal in our
stockings. I did not make my bed every
242
00:15:18,050 --> 00:15:19,250
this month for coal.
243
00:15:19,910 --> 00:15:20,910
Watch coal!
244
00:15:23,510 --> 00:15:26,550
Don't have to worry about it. Santa's
going to come. He's going to give you
245
00:15:26,550 --> 00:15:28,470
gifts. You'll have plenty of presents in
the morning.
246
00:15:32,390 --> 00:15:33,610
You're right. They're going to be fine.
247
00:15:35,090 --> 00:15:36,230
But at least you got your money.
248
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:07,279
It's you.
249
00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:08,900
Just relax, okay?
250
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:10,460
All I want are your clothes.
251
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:11,840
What?
252
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:13,300
I mean, your Santa suit.
253
00:16:13,500 --> 00:16:17,200
I mean, it's Christmas Eve. I couldn't
find one anywhere in town. I don't care.
254
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:20,180
I already gave you your dough. Get out
of my car.
255
00:16:20,420 --> 00:16:21,339
Listen to me.
256
00:16:21,340 --> 00:16:23,880
It's for the kids. Oh, for the kids.
Yeah.
257
00:16:24,620 --> 00:16:25,640
I hate kids.
258
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:27,800
Look, I tell you what.
259
00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:31,520
I'll give you the Santa suit for 500
bucks.
260
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:34,860
Are you crazy? I don't have 500 bucks on
me.
261
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:36,400
I've still got my check.
262
00:16:41,860 --> 00:16:46,420
There you go. It's a pleasure doing
business with you.
263
00:16:46,860 --> 00:16:51,100
Hey, I hope you and the fat guy and your
three kids have a super duper
264
00:16:51,100 --> 00:16:52,480
Christmas. We will.
265
00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:53,840
Excuse me.
266
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:57,340
Oh, pardon me. I'm sorry.
267
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:02,400
I'll tell you what.
268
00:17:02,780 --> 00:17:05,319
I'll put in a good word with Santa for
you. Yeah.
269
00:17:05,599 --> 00:17:09,300
And while you're talking to him, you
might want to ask him for a new
270
00:17:09,300 --> 00:17:10,300
cab.
271
00:17:37,450 --> 00:17:39,510
bucks for a Santa suit. They're asleep.
272
00:17:43,510 --> 00:17:46,270
This thing is itchy.
273
00:17:48,170 --> 00:17:52,150
I swear, if there's something crawling
around in this thing...
274
00:17:52,150 --> 00:17:58,990
A little leftover roast beef for
275
00:17:58,990 --> 00:17:59,990
Santa.
276
00:18:01,030 --> 00:18:02,070
Isn't he lucky?
277
00:18:09,620 --> 00:18:10,620
Santa!
278
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:12,340
Oh!
279
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:18,400
Oh! You caught Santa between bites
there.
280
00:18:19,020 --> 00:18:21,180
Don't you want milk and cookies?
281
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:24,280
Well, Santa's on Atkins right now.
282
00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:25,920
Come on.
283
00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,720
Sit on Santa's lap.
284
00:18:30,060 --> 00:18:35,660
Now, Santa knows you and Ruby and the
little one.
285
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:37,520
Gracie. Gracie.
286
00:18:38,580 --> 00:18:41,540
I know that you think you're not getting
any presents this year.
287
00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:43,040
Here's the deal.
288
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:44,600
That's not true.
289
00:18:44,860 --> 00:18:46,240
You are getting presents.
290
00:18:47,340 --> 00:18:48,340
Okay?
291
00:18:48,840 --> 00:18:52,960
So, go upstairs now and go to bed.
292
00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:57,100
What?
293
00:18:57,900 --> 00:18:59,780
What are you waiting for? I told you
you're getting presents.
294
00:19:00,420 --> 00:19:03,600
But could you give some of my presents
to my daddy?
295
00:19:05,350 --> 00:19:06,350
Your daddy, why?
296
00:19:06,850 --> 00:19:11,030
Because he got in a fight with your
helper, and I don't think he's getting
297
00:19:11,030 --> 00:19:12,030
presents.
298
00:19:14,790 --> 00:19:20,070
You mean you're willing to give up your
toys so your daddy has a good Christmas?
299
00:19:20,830 --> 00:19:25,170
Yeah, but not the walkie -talkies. I was
pretty good.
300
00:19:29,750 --> 00:19:32,890
Well, Santa's starting to get that
better self thing.
301
00:19:36,170 --> 00:19:37,670
You don't worry about your daddy.
302
00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:40,710
He's the luckiest man in the world.
303
00:19:42,350 --> 00:19:43,690
He's going to get presents.
304
00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:46,070
He won't get coal in his stocking this
year.
305
00:19:46,310 --> 00:19:47,310
What's coal?
306
00:19:48,850 --> 00:19:51,910
Well, it's like a rock that burns.
307
00:19:52,430 --> 00:19:54,730
Cool. I want coal.
308
00:19:55,050 --> 00:19:56,050
Wow.
309
00:19:59,930 --> 00:20:00,930
Who's this?
310
00:20:01,430 --> 00:20:04,350
Mommy. It's Santa Claus.
311
00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:07,260
What? Oh, it's very nice to meet you,
Santa.
312
00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:08,940
Nice to meet you.
313
00:20:09,540 --> 00:20:12,200
You know, I named one of my reindeer
after you.
314
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:14,720
Foxy.
315
00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,260
Vixen? Yeah, Vixen, Foxy, whatever.
316
00:20:23,120 --> 00:20:27,600
Santa has a lot of work to do. I really
think you need to go to bed.
317
00:20:27,900 --> 00:20:29,780
No, I want to hang out with Santa.
318
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,580
Did I just hear you say no to your
mommy?
319
00:20:33,020 --> 00:20:34,200
Where's my naughty list?
320
00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:35,520
Okay, I'm going.
321
00:20:38,980 --> 00:20:39,980
Wow.
322
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,340
That kid is really good.
323
00:20:47,300 --> 00:20:49,000
Where did that come from?
324
00:20:51,060 --> 00:20:52,060
Me.
325
00:20:55,140 --> 00:20:56,920
He's an amazing father.
326
00:21:00,780 --> 00:21:01,780
Wow.
327
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,100
Little girl.
328
00:21:05,020 --> 00:21:06,480
Would you like to sit on Santa's lap?
329
00:21:06,740 --> 00:21:07,740
I would.
330
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:10,900
How would you like to be naughty and
nice?
331
00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:15,980
You know, Santa, my husband's going to
be pretty upset when he sees you've
332
00:21:15,980 --> 00:21:16,980
his roast beef.
333
00:21:17,120 --> 00:21:20,060
He's going to be more upset when he sees
Santa in bed with his wife.
334
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:27,180
We wish you a Merry Christmas. We wish
you a Merry Christmas. We wish you a
335
00:21:27,180 --> 00:21:28,180
Merry Christmas.
24331
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