All language subtitles for According to Jim s03e23 The Truck

Oh, there you are. Jim, she's in here.

Oh, Cheryl.

Thank God.

When I got home from work and you
weren't in the kitchen, I just feared

worst. What, that you'd have to make
your own dinner?

Yes, and the only thing I could find was
a bowl of really bad Alfredo sauce.

Jim, that was paste.

You might want to double up on the bran
muffin tomorrow.

Oh, right, right. Spirit week. Spirit
week. I'm supposed to take the bear down

to the girls' school on Saturday.

Yes, yes, yes. Got it on my list right
here.

Daddy, want to see your cheer?

I'd love to see your cheer.

What do you say to a grizzly and me? Get
down on your knees, don't beg on your

feet. Go Grizzlies!

That's really good.

theirs. It's on purpose.

Explain to me what that means.

Okay. Okay. So Jim, on Saturday, you're
taking the mascot down to the girl's

school. Is your truck going to be out of
the shop? Oh, I don't know. The

mechanic said the part still hasn't come
in.

What part?

Child, if I told you the name of it,
would you know it?

Jim. What?

This is ridiculous. It's been in there a
week. You know, I'm going to call the

guy and tell him we really need it by
Friday. No, no, no, no, no, no. You

do that.

That's not your department.

Come on, you take care of the kids, the
bills, the house, the social calendar,

and all the yard work.

I'm in charge of the car stuff.

And turning the clocks backward and
forward as needed.

You make her do the yard?

We have seven clocks.

Jeez. When do you find time to scratch
yourself?

Jason, thank you so much. You guys are
so sweet. You are. I really feel like we

should tip you. Oh, no.

No, we couldn't.

Just, uh, keep coming back.

Please.

Thanks, guys.

Isn't it great being pretty? I know.

The only time I have to carry my own
groceries is when I'm with Jim.

Hey, minimum wage! Little help here?

Yeah, right.

Good idea.

Save your energy for pop and zits.

Andy, one pimply virgins zip.

Yeah.

Hey, isn't that Jim's truck?

Huh? Yeah.

Uh, no, I don't think so.

Yeah. Jim has that same Sammy Sosa
bobblehead.

Well, it's Chicago, Cheryl. Everybody
does.

Okay,

how about the license plate frame that
says contractors do it with a tool?

It's definitely Jim's truck.

Oh, this truck?

Yeah, yeah, this is Jim's truck.

You know what happened?

What? Well, it's obvious that he picked
up the truck, decided to run some

errands so he could make your life
easier.

Make Cheryl's life easier, Jim?

Andy? Uh -huh?

What's going on?

Nothing.

Hey, Cheryl, did you watch the news last
night? There's a twister coming. No,

there isn't. Oh, yes, there is. No,
there isn't. No!

Okay!

Okay!

Last Saturday, Jim and I were at
Antler's for Nickel Wing Night.

You know, I love this place.

When you're done with your wings, you
can throw your bones on the floor.

You know, only you do that.

Really?

That explains the looks.

Now look at that poor sucker over there.

He's been losing to people all night.

All right, who's next?

Yeah, what's you, pal?

What are you calling a night, okay?

Come on, let's go. You and me, huh?

Hey, everybody.

Fred Flintstone over here is scared to
arm wrestle me.

You know what? I'm going to ignore what
you just said because you're drunk and

because of my vague resemblance to Fred
Flintstone.

I got 20 bucks as I beat you.

It's a bet.

What? What are you doing? What are you
talking about? I'm seizing the day.

That's how I live, Jim, by sucking the
marrow out of every moment.

Come here, sweetheart.

Oh, Andy, man, do you know how long I've
been waiting for you to do that?

Okay, okay, okay. Can you just stick to
telling us the parts that actually

happened? Fine.

Come here, sweetheart. Drop dead.

Do it just this once.

Will you drop it? You're on.

All right.

Go.

All right.

Here. Here's your 20 back.

Get a cab. Go home. I don't need a cab.
I have a car.

What do you drive, huh? A truck. Oh, a
truck.

I tell you what, I want a rematch.

Car against your truck.

All right, buddy, please. Just go home
and sober up, all right? Come on, you

little woman.

Little girl.

Come on, Susie.

Oh,

Susie here is going to teach you your
manners. Yeah.

Courtesy's contagious, fuckface.

Go.

Hey.

Pleasure doing business with you.

Hey, uh, was that courteous enough?

That guy wasn't drunk.

That guy just hustled me.

Jim, I do not condone this kind of
behavior.

Carol is a good woman.

fine wife and a better sister.

You really, you really should have
checked with her first because that,

would have been the right thing to do.
Okay.

Okay. That didn't happen either, but,
but I was thinking it. No, come on.

out your sisters, are you?

Mmm.

Mashed potatoes.

Mmm. And ham.

Ham, ham, H -A -M. Girls, girls, girls,
hey, hey.

No, no, no. You already cheered your
milk. A little goes a long way.

Mmm. That looks good.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

For you.

Finish this mind game with your mother.

Cheryl,

I need to tell you something.

But first, what do you know?

I know that you went to a bar and lost
the truck in an arm wrestling contest.

Okay, you're up to speed.

What, you just figured I'd never find
out?

Well, I was going to tell you that they
couldn't fix the truck and I was going

to buy a new one with our vacation
money.

I was going to tell you that Hawaii
burned down.

Where did you get this?

Your truck.

My truck?

My truck?

Yeah. Well, what's my truck doing here?
I got it back.

What? Dana and I went down to Antler's.
I can't believe you eat there.

And we talked to that skinny guy who
beat you in arm wrestling.

What?

You actually went down there?

Oh, Cheryl, nobody had to. You realize
what you just did? You just cut me off

the knees. Oh, come on. No, Cheryl,
that's like Mommy going to the

and fighting the bully for me. You can't
do that, Cheryl.

I lost a truck. It's my truck. It's my
business. No, no, Jim.

It's our business because it's our
truck, and you lost it in her stupid bar

Cheryl, the guy called me a woman.

Which obviously you are not. Thank you.
Because it took a woman.

Not much left in this world for men.

Except for the Oval Office, the same job
for better pay and honor.

Wait, what are you doing?

Cheryl, I'm not keeping this truck. Not
the way you got it back.

So you're going to inconvenience your
entire family because of your stupid

pride? Cheryl.

It's not pride.

It's honor.

And you would know the difference if you
didn't shave your legs.

To where you found it, I'm going to walk
home with my head held high and my boys

back in their bunk.

You know

any of those

fairy tales where the good king locks up
his daughters in the tower?

Their young, undeveloped brains are
totally influenced by the idiot box.

Oh,

Jim? Yeah?

We finished the mascot. You've got to
get it down to the school.

Okay, Annie.

Let's put the grizzly bear in the old
minivan.

No, honey, we already tried that, but
surprisingly, it's too small. I guess

that's why they call it Minnie.

Gosh, if only you had some kind of
vehicle.

That was like a car, but with a big open
storage area in the back.

Okay, I know you guys are talking about
my truck.

Truck? That's brilliant!

Yeah. Only we knew someone who had a
truck.

I know! The arm -wrestling con man.

Yeah!

Absolutely not. I am not going back
there to beg for the truck. A bet is a

and I have my honor.

All right, all right. How about this?

How about you take the mascot...

shove it in your honor, and haul it down
there.

Cheryl, I'm going to get that grizzly
bear to that school because I'm a man,

that's what men do. They get things
done. Right, Andy?

Go men!

And shake it, and shake it, and shake
it, shake it, shake it.

Hey, unless I'm scoring a touchdown,
hitting a home run, Or I ask you to.

That is not okay.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, come on. We got three
miles to go. Shake a leg here.

Why am I the one doing all the work?

Because you're the one that ratted me
out to your sisters.

Oh, yeah, I know all about it.

Yeah, you had a chance to come clean and
you didn't. You know what that makes

you? A coward. Oh, a coward.

I'm still driving my own car, not some
stupid scooter.

Stupid, stupid.

You're stupid.

I don't even know why I hang out with
you. Been asking myself the same

all day. Know what I came up with? What?

We're all we got.

You're right, Andy.

Hey, let's not fight anymore. I love
you. Thank you.

to stay up all night.

Cheryl, put a pot of coffee on for me.

Jim, I don't think you're looking at the
big picture. Yeah, you're right.

Pot of coffee and a cake.

Jim, you can build a hundred bears. You
still have no way to get them to the

school. I'll rent a truck.

Okay, that's fine for today.

What about when I have to pick up Ruby
Ballet and you have to get Gracie at

soccer? Cheryl, under no circumstances
whatsoever.

Am I going to go down there and beg for
that truck back? I know. I know. Your

honor. Yes, honor.

Honor. Honey, look, do you think I like
the way the girls just looked at me?

No.

No, I don't.

But without honor, I'm not going to be
the man that I want my daughters to see.

And I'm definitely not going to be the
man you married.

And, baby, I am a man.

I don't get it, but I've been married to
you long enough to know you're not

going to change, so you have my full
support.

Thank you.

But when I come home from a high -stakes
bake -off and I've lost the kitchen,

not a word.

Okay, honey, well, you got your honor.
You got my support.

We got no truck.

What are you going to do?

I don't know. I'll think of something.

Do it while you're watching.

Well, yabba -dabba -doo, look who's
here.

Hey, did you take a cab? No, he took his
wife's minivan.

Did he?

Look, I want my truck back fair and
square, so my friend and I here want to

challenge you to a game of pool.

And if we win?

You get my minivan.

Okay, okay, see, I know that, uh...
Susie here is not much of a shark, but

guy.

Sure, you dress him up dorky, but he
could be a ringer.

Well, I played at Camp Ohonomaka, but we
didn't play for cars, we played for

s'mores.

Well, I'm guessing you're pretty good
then.

No, no deal. What?

What are you doing here? How did you
even know we were here?

We just followed the scent of failure.

Uh -oh.

What are you doing? Cheryl, I am trying
to win the truck back. I just challenged

him to a game of pool, but he's too much
of a woman.

See, I wouldn't be much of a con man if
I fell for that.

Oh.

This is your big plan?

Cheryl, this is my plan. This is men's
business. Just stay out of it. Yeah.

When you can write your name in the
snow, then you can pop off about

you want.

You give me a chance to win this truck
back or not. Okay, okay, but I get to

pick your partner.

No, no, no. I'm not going to fall for
that. You'll just pick one of your

buddies. Okay, fine.

You know, Wilma and Betty over there,
either one of them will do. No, no, no,

no, no. That's a bad idea. Take it or
leave it.

Dana, you don't want to play pool?

Well, no, but I could probably pick it
up pretty good.

I'll take Wilma. I mean, Cheryl.

My truck against your minivan, right?
Deal. You bet the minivan.

Cheryl, Cheryl, Cheryl. No, that's off.
Cheryl, no. Cheryl, I just shook on it,

okay?

It's your break, Wilma.

Come on, baby, you can...

Don't call me Wilma.

You hustled him?

No, uh, my wife, the woman, hustled you.

Told you it was a bad idea.

their 14th birthdays, Daddy got us a
pool table.

I never had to buy my own drinks in
college.

Neither did I, and I suck at pool.

Um, honey, where do you want the eight
ball?

Surprise me.

Okay.

Side pocket, clean bank, going downtown.

Them as Fred and Cheryl's Wilma, does
that make us Betty and Barney?

I always thought I was Nancy Drew and
you were both of the Hardy Boys.

What do you say we play one more game?

Okay. And if you win, you get to have
sex with me.

Wow. What if you win?

Be honest, honey, I'm going to throw
this game.