All language subtitles for According to Jim s03e22 Whos the Boss

Hey, yeah, hi, honey.

It's me, lover boy.

Jim.

Very funny, Cheryl, very funny. Look,
I'm going to be a little late. I know

going to miss dinner. What did you have?

String bean casserole.

I'm so sorry I missed that.

Hi, honey.

Oh, you gable sometimes and win.

And so, by moving the den to the west
side, I had to change some walls, see?

Yeah. I had a thought.

Really? Another one?

Because I spent 14 hours on your last
one.

Uh -huh.

I would like the den on the east side
instead of the west. No, no, no. I was

all night doing this, and it totally
worked.

Not for Veronica, it doesn't.

And she's the client.

And at Ground Up Design, the client is
the boss.

I think I have that written down on a
pen right here.

And would it be too much trouble to get
a skylight?

Well, yeah, it kind of would. I mean,
what we'd need... Is a great architect.

And we have one right here, and he is
all over it. Oh, good, because I want

in the atrium. Okay. You don't have an
atrium.

She does now.

You need to give her an atrium.

Is there anything else you need?

Because at Ground Up Design, we are here
for you.

I have a refrigerator magnet with that
on it, by the way.

Oh, I am so glad I picked you guys.
You're the best.

Actually, there is one other thing.

Why, you name it.

Could you watch Diego while I go to the
day spa?

Is that okay with you, baby?

Yes. Yes, it is.

It would be my pleasure to give it to
our top man. What?

I'll go get Diego's poopy pants. Okay.

She's an important client. You don't
talk to them like that. I am working 16

hours a day here.

Now I have to design an atrium and move
the den back to where it was three days

ago. Come on, be a team player here.

I'm an architect, not a dog sitter. Why
can't you be a dog -sitting architect?

I mean, even Superman was also a
reporter.

Annie, this is the biggest job we've
ever had. I know.

All right, so just hang in there for a
little bit. Keep your eye on the prize.

It's hard to keep my eyes on the prize.

They keep going to this dog's weird
butt.

What are you talking about?

Well, it's all puffy.

And there's dental floss sticking out of
it.

Give it a pull. Maybe he'll talk.

and J's place diagonally for Gracie.

Bologna and cheese mayonnaise on both
sides for Ruby.

Did you cut my crisp off? What is it, my
first day?

All right, go, go, get ready.

Cheryl, you spoil these kids.

You know what my mom packed for lunch
for me? A raw potato with a lighter.

Oh, it sounds like your mom must have
wanted you to run away, and we know that

couldn't have been true.

a cup of dignity, I seem to have lost
mine.

What are you doing with the dog?

Dog sitting turned into a dog sleepover
when Veronica decided to spend the night

in town.

Did you know that Chihuahua is Spanish
for yapping crap machine?

Andy, honey, you look exhausted. Are you
going to be okay today?

If I get a nap in at lunch.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. Lunch, I
need you to go down to Springfield and

up the little bathroom knobs for the
Veronica job.

Jim, I spent four years in college so I
wouldn't have to do this stuff.

Andy, this is important.

Oh, really?

Yes. If it's so important, why don't you
do it? I'd love to, Andy, but I can't.

What does the plaque say on my desk?

Number one sex machine.

That's the trophy.

And I earned it, right, honey?

Oh, honey, I don't think it counts if
you buy it yourself.

Andy, the plaque reads president and
CEO.

Now, if the boss is out there doing all
these little menial errands, it's going

to make our operation look chintzy. Oh,
I think the nudie girl mudflaps on your

pickup already do that.

Annie, come on, think about it. This job
can take us to a new level. I mean,

Veronica knows all kinds of rich people,
including Oprah's friend, Gail.

Oh, she is so lucky.

I wish I was Oprah's best friend. I get
to hang out with her all the time.

Yeah, but then eventually you have to
introduce her to Jim.

Oh, well.

Oh, oh, no, oh, no, it's starting to
shimmy. I better take him outside.

Can I get a sandwich bag, something?

I can't wait to call my professor at
Stanford and tell him how well...

that for?

Don't you think you're being a little
hard on Andy? I'm not being hard on Andy

at all. You know what the C stands for
in CEO?

Yeah? Commander.

Now, how do you think people would feel
if their own president sent himself off

to war?

I'd like it.

Well, I wonder who's been talking to a
lesbian down at the beauty parlor again.

Cheryl, I love you to tears, but you
know what? You know nothing about

management. Well, except for her degree
in business administration.

division of an insurance company for two
years. Oh, yeah?

Why aren't you working there anymore,
Cheryl? Because I got pregnant and quit

raise a family.

Hmm. How convenient.

Daddy? Can you help me with my homework?

Sure. What is it?

American history.

Okay.

Write this down.

We win.

USA number one.

Oh, good. I thought you were going to
say something simplistic.

Well, I just got off the phone with
Andy.

Can't come over tonight because he has
too much work to do.

Damn, he was supposed to bring over
dessert.

Jim. What?

I made him a special dinner because he's
been working so hard, and now he's not

even coming over because of you. Cheryl,
this is a big... We're all making

sacrifices. Gracie, move your head.
Daddy can't see the TV.

You know what would cheer him up? Why
don't you bring him over a nice hot

of food? Me?

Yeah. But you're in the food department
here.

Jim, he does everything you ask of him.
This is a nice way to show him you

appreciate it.

Isn't that what the paycheck's for?

All right, fine.

Good. Maybe I'm working him a little too
hard.

I'll take the food over there as soon as
I figure out this puzzle.

Tom Cruise control.

You know, it's easy for you. You're not
checking out Vanna.

You know, you've been doing such a great
job on Veronica.

Well, excuse me. And remember, no
dessert until you finish your broccoli.

What happened?

Well, somebody was working Andy hard,
but it wasn't me.

He was sitting on the couch with
Veronica, half -naked, drinking wine.

What? Yes, Cheryl, yes.

Well, maybe it wasn't what you're
thinking.

Cheryl, he had the same look on his face
that you do after.

I didn't need to know that. Neither did
I.

You know what, Jim? They're both adults.
It's a big deal. It is a big deal,

Cheryl. It's a huge deal. You never,
ever, ever sleep with a client.

I could have slept with dozens of
clients, but I never did. You want to

why?

Because you're married to me?

Cheryl, let's not make this about you,
okay?

Because I respect the rules of business.

Jim, you gotta give Andy a break. He
hasn't had a date for like six months.

know what?

I kind of think it's cute that they're
having a romance.

Cute? That was just two people
satisfying their animal lust.

It wasn't beautiful like, you know, when
you and I go at it.

Okay, I know.

Andy, Andy.

No, no.

That was not cool, Andy. Jim, it's not
something I planned.

Veronica came over to get her dog. We
started talking about books and wine and

architecture. I read her my one -act
play.

After that, it was like shooting fish in
a barrel.

Andy, I don't want to hear it. This
stops now. You are jeopardizing the

job. Come on, I have this totally under
control. No, Jim, I like her a lot. I

will not let it affect work. I promise.

I don't care.

It's not up to you. I'm the boss. No,
no, you listen to me. You go right back

across the street and you end this thing
right now. No, no,

no, no, no, no. You go back there and
you end it right now.

Andy, do it.

Yeah, fine.

Yes. But, Andy, Andy, Andy, Andy, be
nice about it, okay?

Don't hurt her feelings. Let her down
easy. Say something like, you know,

gay and this was a one -time experience.

Gay. Right.

You know what?

No. Okay, pick something else.
Impotence. I don't care.

No, no, no to the whole thing. No.

Listen, you made me go 70 miles to pick
up doorknobs. You made me clean up dog

poop. You even made me put in extra
jelly in your donuts using a syringe.

But you're going to tell me how to live
my personal life? No.

No.

You don't say no to me.

I just did. Want to hear it again? No.
Want to hear it backwards? Ah, no.

Out of my house. No, I do what I want.
And I want to leave.

That's it.

That's it!

He's fired!

I can't fire him. I need him. What am I
going to do? What am I going to do?

Oh, Cheryl, is he asking you?

I don't know.

There's no one here but you and me, and
I don't know nothing about business.

You should just stick to folding laundry
and ovulating.

Bonnie, I see what you're trying to do.
You're trying to throw my words back in

my face to make some kind of point,
right? Yeah.

You know where I learned that,
Commander?

Business school.

Well,

ain't he's going to pay for this. Say no
to me?

I'll work him so hard, he won't have any
personal time left in his life. That's

what I'm going to do. Yeah, I'm going to
make him so busy, he's going to have to

hire someone to pee for him.

He's going to be so busy that he's going
to pass himself going to bed because...

He's got to get up so early.

That's a good one, Jim. That's a good
one.

Shaping up nicely.

Hey, Andy, can you come over here for a
second? I want to talk to you. Oh, just

a second.

Listen, about that thing last night, I
got a little carried away.

You know, I shouldn't have any say in
your personal life.

Thank you.

But you know what? I do have a list of
things here I'd like you to do while

you're on the clock, if that's all
right. Sure.

Okay, great. Thanks.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

There's like a hundred things on this
list.

Oh, come on, Andy. It's not so bad.

You can knock those off in about four or
five months.

And then you'll have plenty of time for
your personal life.

Reshred shredded documents.

Uh -huh.

Embroider logos on hats for company
softball team. Yeah.

Startup company softball team.

We don't even have a league.

Oh, keep reading.

You think you're pretty clever, don't
you? Well, you know, I have my moments.

Here's the deal.

You know how... You're always saying the
client's the boss.

Well, last night when I was lying in bed
with the client, I got to thinking,

I'm not actually working for you.

I'm working for Veronica. So I'm going
to take a big old Pasadena on this one.

My brilliant architect.

So how much longer until we're through
with the den? Well, I know Jim told you

two weeks, but I'm going to put a couple
more of my guys on it. I'm thinking

week, ten days tops.

We can do it, right, guys?

They're pretty focused working right
now, so.

Oh, can you knock off a couple of hours
early tonight? I've got tickets for a

play. Oh, I don't know. I'll have to ask
my boss. Can I go, Veronica?

We have been seven. And bring a
toothbrush.

Oh.

Oh, Jim, do you mind taking Diego
tonight?

Oh, well, oh, he'd love to. Yeah, I'll
just put it on his list.

Oh. Great. I'll drop them off at your
house.

Call

me.

I don't know what the hell you think
you're doing. Jim, a little less this, a

little more this.

Veronica, hey, you told me to call you
and I just couldn't wait.

So what are you wearing?

Oh, I know I just saw you, but work with
me here.

Hey,

guys, take lunch.

That's why I'm the boss.

Yeah. Well, talk to you later, kiddo.

Real mature, Jim.

Want to take this down so I can get out?

Oh, I thought you wanted a little less
this and a little more of this.

I'm sure if I could see you, that'd be
hilarious.

You can forget it. Oh, I can wait.

I demand to be treated with respect. I
hear you.

You're giving me boobs, aren't you?

Yeah, they're real bazookas, too.

You know what's kind of funny? I may be
trapped in a windowless room here. You

got a window right here.

Well, you're the one who's really
trapped, okay?

You're trapped in a world of ego,
pettiness, and control.

Well, at least in my world, I've got a
bathroom.

You just wait until I get out of here.

What are you going to do?

You're going to go run to Veronica?

What the hell is that supposed to mean?
That means you can't hide behind her

forever. You know, this job is going to
end soon.

And then I'm still your boss. And that's
the way it's always going to be. No,

no, no, no, Jim. That's the way it's
been.

But I'm not going to take it anymore.

What are you going to do?

Who's going to arrest you this time?

Dana?

Cheryl?

Your mommy?

Because you're not tough enough to stand
on your own.

Are you?

You know it.

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

whose sister you marry.

Come on.

Not that guy anymore.

Yeah.

So we good now?

No.

All right.

Well, what are we going to do now?

I don't know.

How about you make me partner?

It's just a thought.

No, wait, no!

I think I've earned it.

Partner?

Are you asking me or telling me?

I'm asking.

But with determined authority.

You're right, junior partners always
buy.

Junior partner? You said partner.

Hey, I'm not going to make you a full
partner in the first day.

All right, all right, I'll tell you
what.

The first one to get in the driver's
seat is a full partner.

Four years instead.