All language subtitles for According to Jim s02e23 The Helmet
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Ewe
Faroese
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Ga
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Interlingua
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kurdish (SoranĂ®)
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lingala
Lithuanian
Lozi
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Nigerian Pidgin
Northern Sotho
Norwegian
Norwegian (Nynorsk)
Occitan
Oriya
Oromo
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Punjabi
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Runyakitara
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Serbo-Croatian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Spanish (Latin American)
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Tatar
Telugu
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Tshiluba
Tumbuka
Turkish
Turkmen
Twi
Uighur
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,960
Carol, that dryer's making that noise
again.
2
00:00:05,220 --> 00:00:09,480
Thank you.
3
00:00:10,260 --> 00:00:11,720
Daddy, what do you want for your
birthday?
4
00:00:12,160 --> 00:00:13,160
My birthday?
5
00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:19,840
I think I want breakfast in bed, and
then read the paper till dinner.
6
00:00:21,920 --> 00:00:24,000
Which I'd also like in bed.
7
00:00:25,700 --> 00:00:27,600
How about a magic tiara?
8
00:00:30,190 --> 00:00:31,870
That was second on my list.
9
00:00:33,190 --> 00:00:36,930
Honey, I think I know what you want for
your birthday.
10
00:00:37,330 --> 00:00:38,289
And what's that?
11
00:00:38,290 --> 00:00:39,290
A new dryer.
12
00:00:40,930 --> 00:00:43,570
You know, you never did take the time to
know me well, did you?
13
00:00:43,770 --> 00:00:47,630
Honey, I've got to run everything
through three times before it gets dry.
14
00:00:47,630 --> 00:00:50,090
at this. My T -shirt's been in an hour.
It's still wet.
15
00:00:50,730 --> 00:00:52,850
That wet T -shirt argument works against
you.
16
00:00:54,570 --> 00:00:55,830
Okay, girls, come on. Let's go to
school.
17
00:00:56,250 --> 00:00:57,910
Jim, we need a new dryer.
18
00:00:58,490 --> 00:00:59,490
No.
19
00:00:59,660 --> 00:01:03,520
Look, when Ruby lost a few teeth, did we
throw her out and get a new kid?
20
00:01:04,580 --> 00:01:05,780
No, we kept her.
21
00:01:05,980 --> 00:01:09,580
Now, don't you think a major appliance
deserves the same consideration as one
22
00:01:09,580 --> 00:01:10,139
our children?
23
00:01:10,140 --> 00:01:11,139
Jim.
24
00:01:11,140 --> 00:01:15,100
No, Cheryl. When the dryer breaks, we'll
get a new one.
25
00:01:15,580 --> 00:01:16,980
Simple. Okay?
26
00:01:17,580 --> 00:01:18,580
Come on, girls.
27
00:01:18,740 --> 00:01:20,460
Daddy, how about a gumball machine?
28
00:01:21,300 --> 00:01:22,400
Somebody's been reading my list.
29
00:01:55,050 --> 00:01:58,010
I threw in a wrench, two hammers, and
Ruby's lunchbox, and it's still going.
30
00:01:59,950 --> 00:02:02,290
Why don't you just send your stuff out
like I do?
31
00:02:03,050 --> 00:02:05,130
Oh, honey, listen to yourself.
32
00:02:05,990 --> 00:02:07,670
You're still living like you have a job.
33
00:02:10,789 --> 00:02:12,770
That's right, I'm an unemployed loser.
34
00:02:13,470 --> 00:02:15,930
Forgotten for five minutes. Thanks for
reminding me.
35
00:02:17,010 --> 00:02:20,230
Hey, is that the auction site? Yeah,
this is the sports memorabilia site. So
36
00:02:20,230 --> 00:02:21,350
what do you want to get Jim for his
birthday?
37
00:02:21,570 --> 00:02:23,330
Oh, God, I don't know. Not that. Go
down.
38
00:02:23,590 --> 00:02:25,030
Stop! Hey, hey, what's that?
39
00:02:25,610 --> 00:02:29,030
A Chicago Bears helmet signed by Dick
Buckus. Yeah, he loves that guy. Let's
40
00:02:29,030 --> 00:02:31,810
that. Okay, now you just need a screen
name so you can start bidding.
41
00:02:32,050 --> 00:02:35,890
Oh. Oh, hey, hey, how about Charlie A?
Because you used to play Charlie Daniels
42
00:02:35,890 --> 00:02:36,509
when we were little.
43
00:02:36,510 --> 00:02:37,510
Oh, thank you.
44
00:02:37,610 --> 00:02:39,610
Remember Andy and that tube top?
45
00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:40,910
Yeah.
46
00:02:43,290 --> 00:02:44,670
Okay, so Charlie A.
47
00:02:46,390 --> 00:02:49,770
All right, and now you're bidding
against Spiffy Tool 405.
48
00:02:50,010 --> 00:02:51,710
Okay, go for it. All right.
49
00:02:52,660 --> 00:02:55,500
Now you're the highest bidder. Oh, I
win. I'm so excited.
50
00:02:55,820 --> 00:03:00,040
Well, Cheryl, there's still four days
left, so anyone can bid. Oh, come on.
51
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:06,700
Who's going to mess with Charlie A.? Who
the hell is Charlie A.? What do you
52
00:03:06,700 --> 00:03:09,980
mean? For the last three days, I've had
the highest bid on this Butkus helmet,
53
00:03:10,020 --> 00:03:11,680
and some clown is driving up the price.
54
00:03:12,500 --> 00:03:15,800
Hey, Jim, will you check on that Full
House lunchbox?
55
00:03:17,660 --> 00:03:20,500
It comes with an Uncle Jesse thermos.
56
00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:23,580
He made lunch cool.
57
00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:29,020
Well, Charlie, it's time to separate the
men from the boys.
58
00:03:30,380 --> 00:03:33,220
Oh, no, you just got outbid by 52405.
59
00:03:33,540 --> 00:03:34,540
What?
60
00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:37,660
52405. That's probably his weight.
61
00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:43,400
I can just see him sitting there
scratching his belly eating a jelly
62
00:03:51,820 --> 00:03:52,820
I'm today.
63
00:03:56,800 --> 00:03:59,640
Man, this Charlie ain't outbid me again.
64
00:04:00,420 --> 00:04:02,480
Well, I think I know what the A stands
for.
65
00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,680
Why don't you go outside and make a
friend, fatty?
66
00:04:21,959 --> 00:04:22,980
I got to change my tactic.
67
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:24,199
What are you going to do?
68
00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:25,680
I'm going to cozy up to him.
69
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:29,720
You know? Give him the back off, then
the helmet is mine.
70
00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:34,800
How's it hanging?
71
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:38,240
How's it hanging?
72
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:40,400
How's what hanging?
73
00:04:43,060 --> 00:04:44,540
He thinks you're a guy.
74
00:04:45,380 --> 00:04:46,420
Oh, my God.
75
00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:49,940
What are you doing?
76
00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:51,260
I'm writing him back.
77
00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:52,680
Charlie A.
78
00:04:52,820 --> 00:04:57,420
Huh? Once I'm his buddy, this 400 -pound
geek, desperate for any sort of human
79
00:04:57,420 --> 00:04:59,800
contact, will just hand the helmet right
over.
80
00:05:01,780 --> 00:05:02,780
You have issues.
81
00:05:03,060 --> 00:05:04,060
Yeah, I know.
82
00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,180
Okay, what should I write?
83
00:05:06,840 --> 00:05:11,120
All right, well, you're writing as a
guy, so think of the lowest common
84
00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:12,520
denominator. What would Jim say?
85
00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:15,319
That's easy.
86
00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:16,920
Hey, how about that game, I think?
87
00:05:19,140 --> 00:05:20,140
What game?
88
00:05:20,430 --> 00:05:21,950
Oh, come on. There's always a game
somewhere.
89
00:05:22,350 --> 00:05:23,350
Hmm.
90
00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:25,970
Yeah, that was a good game. Oh, that was
a great game.
91
00:05:27,190 --> 00:05:28,190
Hey.
92
00:05:32,050 --> 00:05:33,050
Hey.
93
00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:41,230
I hear you, my man. You marry them, and
right away they try to change you.
94
00:05:41,690 --> 00:05:46,530
Are you still writing Spiffy Tool 405?
95
00:05:46,750 --> 00:05:50,650
Yeah. Is this how... as good as mine.
Men are so stupid.
96
00:05:52,190 --> 00:05:53,750
So are you guys becoming friends?
97
00:05:54,090 --> 00:05:55,090
How could we not?
98
00:05:55,370 --> 00:06:00,430
We've both been kicked out of bowls
games for mooning the ref, and our
99
00:06:00,430 --> 00:06:01,650
beer is the next one.
100
00:06:09,550 --> 00:06:12,530
You're not going to, like, go out
cruising for chicks together, are you?
101
00:06:12,870 --> 00:06:15,530
No. Being a guy is fascinating.
102
00:06:16,200 --> 00:06:18,300
tells me stuff he would never tell his
wife. Like what?
103
00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:19,520
Oh, get this.
104
00:06:20,140 --> 00:06:24,220
He buys sports memorabilia off the
internet and he hides it from her in his
105
00:06:24,220 --> 00:06:25,220
cabinet in the garage.
106
00:06:27,540 --> 00:06:29,000
God, that poor woman.
107
00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:30,780
Oh, please. She's a sap.
108
00:06:32,320 --> 00:06:34,960
Tell him an off -color joke. Guys love
those.
109
00:06:35,380 --> 00:06:36,820
Oh, I don't know any.
110
00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:38,740
You don't know any? No.
111
00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:44,660
You married an off -color joke. I got a
great one about a sailor.
112
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:49,530
parent who meet the pope i heard it at a
gas station oh
113
00:06:49,530 --> 00:06:56,030
okay i get it the parent's jewish right
114
00:06:56,030 --> 00:06:57,030
what
115
00:07:21,390 --> 00:07:22,390
Just the corner.
116
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:25,870
I threw up on an anthill. Oh, man.
117
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,610
Hey, you know, Charlie is a runner.
118
00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:31,110
He runs three miles a day. Do you
believe that?
119
00:07:31,530 --> 00:07:34,910
Charlie A.? Yeah. Yeah, there's a name I
haven't heard more than 16 times today.
120
00:07:36,050 --> 00:07:39,170
I thought you were just sizing up those
bows so you could get the helmet.
121
00:07:39,450 --> 00:07:42,350
I was, I was. Well, you know what? It
turns out we got a lot in common.
122
00:07:42,750 --> 00:07:47,610
It's kind of nice, you know, having a
friend who's a real guy's guy, you know?
123
00:07:50,990 --> 00:07:54,210
Oh, come on, you know what I'm talking
about. I mean, like a guy who's married
124
00:07:54,210 --> 00:07:57,490
with kids and doesn't wear velour
sweats.
125
00:07:59,690 --> 00:08:02,930
Yeah, but when you run and you're not
wearing underwear, it's delicious.
126
00:08:07,090 --> 00:08:08,090
Hey,
127
00:08:08,810 --> 00:08:09,810
you ready?
128
00:08:10,050 --> 00:08:13,430
Oh, honey, yes, I am starving. Let's go.
You know what, sweetie, it's kind of a
129
00:08:13,430 --> 00:08:16,630
long drive. Could you use the bathroom?
I don't need to go to the bathroom. Jim.
130
00:08:16,770 --> 00:08:17,770
Okay.
131
00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:21,640
My key's right there. Will you grab it?
Oh, yeah.
132
00:08:25,720 --> 00:08:26,720
Spiffy tool.
133
00:08:27,780 --> 00:08:30,940
Hey, Cheryl, I heard a great joke today
about a sailor and a parrot meeting the
134
00:08:30,940 --> 00:08:31,940
Pope.
135
00:08:34,820 --> 00:08:35,820
You want to hear it?
136
00:08:36,020 --> 00:08:38,659
No, I think I heard that one. Oh.
137
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:40,559
Yeah. Parrot's Jewish, right?
138
00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:52,580
It's 4 -0 -5.
139
00:08:52,980 --> 00:08:56,060
4 -0 -5 is April 5th. That's Jim's
birthday.
140
00:08:56,340 --> 00:08:58,020
How could I be so stupid?
141
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:02,700
I don't believe it.
142
00:09:02,980 --> 00:09:04,340
I'm the sap wife.
143
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:10,400
God, this stuff must have cost a
fortune. Look at this Michael Jordan
144
00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:11,400
basketball.
145
00:09:11,900 --> 00:09:13,460
Sammy Sosa baseball.
146
00:09:14,300 --> 00:09:16,000
This ball's green and fuzzy.
147
00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:17,320
Oh, God, it's an orange.
148
00:09:22,790 --> 00:09:27,330
I couldn't get a dryer, and yet he's
spending money on this pucky thing
149
00:09:27,330 --> 00:09:28,450
by Bobby Hall.
150
00:09:29,310 --> 00:09:30,310
Bobby Hall?
151
00:09:30,770 --> 00:09:31,770
Cool.
152
00:09:34,570 --> 00:09:36,210
Wow, your nostrils are flaring.
153
00:09:36,470 --> 00:09:37,990
You know, you could fit a nickel up
there.
154
00:09:39,450 --> 00:09:40,630
Yeah, that'll have to wait.
155
00:09:41,310 --> 00:09:42,350
We have work to do.
156
00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:52,880
Mommy's teaching us planets.
157
00:09:53,180 --> 00:09:55,820
Yeah. Oh, that'll come in handy when you
grow up.
158
00:09:57,580 --> 00:10:00,100
Hey, we still have to do Saturn. You
want me to get another ball out of the
159
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:01,760
garage? Yeah, they're in Jim's tool
cabinet.
160
00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:07,600
You got these balls out of my tool
chest?
161
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:11,440
Yeah, yeah. Dana and I were just looking
around in there. We found basketballs,
162
00:10:11,440 --> 00:10:12,660
baseballs, hockey pucks.
163
00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:28,610
This is an autographed Michael Jordan
basketball.
164
00:10:28,950 --> 00:10:33,570
And this so -called moon is a baseball
signed by Sammy Sosa.
165
00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:37,010
$250, $350 for the basketball. Right.
166
00:10:37,730 --> 00:10:39,130
Here, you big baby.
167
00:10:39,530 --> 00:10:41,310
I didn't really paint over them.
168
00:10:42,430 --> 00:10:43,430
Here.
169
00:10:45,710 --> 00:10:47,190
You did this on purpose?
170
00:10:47,530 --> 00:10:51,410
Yes. Well, you know, this is a pretty
lousy way of making whatever point
171
00:10:51,410 --> 00:10:52,410
trying to make.
172
00:11:02,990 --> 00:11:05,970
could be worth a lot of money one day,
enough to put our kids through college.
173
00:11:06,430 --> 00:11:08,430
Oh, I see. So you're going to sell them.
174
00:11:10,150 --> 00:11:11,750
Why do you always have to push it?
175
00:11:13,910 --> 00:11:17,910
Jim, why would you hide this stuff from
me? I'll tell you why. Remember I came
176
00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:21,350
home one time with that Ryan Sandberg
rookie card that I bought? You said I
177
00:11:21,350 --> 00:11:22,350
throwing my money away.
178
00:11:22,530 --> 00:11:25,830
Well, you took all the fun out of me
throwing my money away.
179
00:11:28,370 --> 00:11:31,110
So in the future, keep your hands off...
180
00:11:40,490 --> 00:11:43,250
Ropes, if you just told him that you
were Charlie A., you would have crushed
181
00:11:43,250 --> 00:11:44,250
spirit forever.
182
00:11:44,490 --> 00:11:45,490
Are you kidding?
183
00:11:45,670 --> 00:11:49,850
I want to see how he spins it to Charlie
A. I've got a window into Jim's mind.
184
00:11:51,130 --> 00:11:54,650
You know, all you're going to see is a
wall with three buttons, sleep, belch,
185
00:11:54,650 --> 00:11:55,650
and fart.
186
00:11:58,810 --> 00:12:03,890
Okay, now I know it's not till Saturday,
but happy birthday, buddy.
187
00:12:04,170 --> 00:12:07,030
Your traditional birthday breakfast
burrito.
188
00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:08,310
There you go.
189
00:12:14,459 --> 00:12:15,480
Talking to Charlie?
190
00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:17,540
Oh, well, okay. You know what?
191
00:12:18,200 --> 00:12:19,139
That's it.
192
00:12:19,140 --> 00:12:22,040
I put a lot of thought in your special
day. Me and the guys were going to sing
193
00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:23,300
you happy birthday, but you know what?
194
00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:24,660
Forget it.
195
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,000
You know what?
196
00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:29,120
Charlie was right.
197
00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:30,600
He said you'd be jealous.
198
00:12:31,500 --> 00:12:35,040
Why don't you and your best friend
Charlie just run off and get married,
199
00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:38,680
And do all the things you and I do, like
eat and watch TV and...
200
00:12:40,300 --> 00:12:42,100
All the other stuff I can't think of
because I'm so upset.
201
00:12:43,420 --> 00:12:45,400
You were so right about Andy.
202
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:48,800
Unbelievable. We had a huge fight last
night and all I can talk about is some
203
00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:52,480
stupid burrito. Well, Cheryl, guys never
talk about what's bothering them. You
204
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:54,780
gotta draw them out a little. Speak
their language.
205
00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:56,239
Oh, right.
206
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:57,240
Right.
207
00:12:58,860 --> 00:12:59,799
Wives, huh?
208
00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:00,800
Right.
209
00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:01,920
Can't live with them?
210
00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:04,960
But if you don't, they take half your
stuff.
211
00:13:10,410 --> 00:13:13,870
I hear you. The wife and I really got
into it last night. Yes, we're in.
212
00:13:14,610 --> 00:13:16,650
Mommy, the toilet won't stop.
213
00:13:17,150 --> 00:13:18,410
Yeah, Dana, would you handle that for
me?
214
00:13:19,750 --> 00:13:21,070
I gotta get a job.
215
00:13:23,910 --> 00:13:25,910
So, what was the fight about?
216
00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:28,870
Well, I wouldn't spend money on a new
dryer.
217
00:13:29,230 --> 00:13:32,070
And then she found my sports stash.
218
00:13:32,550 --> 00:13:33,509
So what?
219
00:13:33,510 --> 00:13:34,510
You make the money.
220
00:13:35,590 --> 00:13:37,230
God, it hurts just to type that.
221
00:13:37,870 --> 00:13:39,490
Yeah, apparently.
222
00:13:40,250 --> 00:13:44,070
We both, quote, contribute equally, end
quote.
223
00:13:44,670 --> 00:13:45,870
Laugh out loud.
224
00:13:47,170 --> 00:13:48,850
Well, you know what they say about
women.
225
00:13:49,790 --> 00:13:50,790
What's that?
226
00:13:53,930 --> 00:13:56,930
Sometimes it's better to just buy them
the damn dryer and shut them up.
227
00:13:59,870 --> 00:14:01,290
You think I'm being hypocritical?
228
00:14:02,410 --> 00:14:05,330
Maybe a little. And hypocritical is
spelled with a Y.
229
00:14:07,450 --> 00:14:08,790
You sound like my wife.
230
00:14:10,380 --> 00:14:11,600
Please, don't insult me.
231
00:14:12,100 --> 00:14:13,500
Ha. Ha.
232
00:14:15,460 --> 00:14:16,960
Well, actually, that's a compliment.
233
00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:19,200
Cheryl's a great woman.
234
00:14:20,540 --> 00:14:22,900
Sometimes I don't know what I did to
deserve her.
235
00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:28,560
The only thing I can come up with is
when I was ten, I gave a hobo half a hot
236
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:29,560
dog.
237
00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:34,100
I mean, I guess I've done other good
stuff, but that's the one that really
238
00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:35,100
stands out.
239
00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:38,640
You know, why don't I let you outbid me
on the helmet?
240
00:14:39,390 --> 00:14:41,490
That way you can bring it home and show
her who's boss.
241
00:14:42,050 --> 00:14:43,050
No.
242
00:14:43,890 --> 00:14:45,630
You gave me good advice.
243
00:14:47,250 --> 00:14:48,250
Thank you.
244
00:14:48,910 --> 00:14:49,910
You take it.
245
00:14:51,810 --> 00:14:52,810
Okay, gotta go.
246
00:14:53,170 --> 00:14:55,530
I'm attaching a video of a monkey
kissing a goat.
247
00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:10,900
I'm gonna need a plumber.
248
00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:18,900
Andy, I could use a little hand here.
249
00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:20,240
Oh, really?
250
00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:21,400
You want my help?
251
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:22,720
All right.
252
00:15:23,260 --> 00:15:26,400
Ow! Oh, no can do.
253
00:15:26,740 --> 00:15:28,760
I got a Charlie A. horse.
254
00:15:42,350 --> 00:15:43,730
Christmas and happy birthday.
255
00:15:44,650 --> 00:15:46,530
Thank you.
256
00:15:47,170 --> 00:15:48,170
Oh,
257
00:15:48,230 --> 00:15:50,110
don't move. I'll be right back. All
right.
258
00:15:50,910 --> 00:15:52,390
That is fascinating.
259
00:15:52,630 --> 00:15:55,930
It is your birthday, and yet you bought
Cheryl a present. What would make you do
260
00:15:55,930 --> 00:15:56,930
something like that?
261
00:15:57,610 --> 00:15:59,630
Well, it's nothing.
262
00:15:59,850 --> 00:16:04,090
It was on sale at Lazy Owl, so I got it.
Oh, by the way, they're looking for a
263
00:16:04,090 --> 00:16:05,570
clerk, so I brought an application for
you.
264
00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:16,960
give it to you at your party, but I
couldn't wait. Happy birthday.
265
00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:20,700
Thank you, honey. You didn't have to do
anything. I told you I'd be happy if you
266
00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:22,280
and the kids just left me alone for a
night.
267
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:23,439
Oh,
268
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:30,400
my
269
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,360
God.
270
00:16:33,140 --> 00:16:37,140
This is a Dick Butkus signed helmet. I
know.
271
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:41,880
You know, I was bidding on one just like
this. No, you were bidding on this one.
272
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:43,960
Spiffy tool 405.
273
00:16:54,840 --> 00:16:59,220
You mean, you're Charlie, eh?
274
00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:05,560
Well, well, well.
275
00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:11,599
What a delicious little twist to our
story.
276
00:17:40,650 --> 00:17:42,770
He's taking us to all the PGO tunnel
pools for your birthday.
277
00:17:46,670 --> 00:17:47,670
Honey.
278
00:17:48,190 --> 00:17:50,470
Come on, honey. I didn't mean to hurt
you.
279
00:17:51,930 --> 00:17:55,870
Look, I was just mad about the dryer,
and then I found out you were hiding all
280
00:17:55,870 --> 00:17:59,470
that stuff, and so I deceived you.
281
00:18:00,130 --> 00:18:01,130
Yeah.
282
00:18:01,490 --> 00:18:03,050
I'm not mad about you deceiving me.
283
00:18:03,710 --> 00:18:05,990
I've deceived you so many times, I guess
I was due.
284
00:18:07,930 --> 00:18:08,930
Jim.
285
00:18:10,280 --> 00:18:11,280
Can I ask you a question?
286
00:18:11,460 --> 00:18:12,460
No.
287
00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:15,840
Why is it you shut down around me, but
you can pour your heart out to some
288
00:18:15,840 --> 00:18:16,840
stranger on the Internet?
289
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,000
Because it wasn't a stranger.
290
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:19,440
He was my friend.
291
00:18:20,340 --> 00:18:22,140
And you know me, I don't got that many
guy friends.
292
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:23,500
That is not true.
293
00:18:24,060 --> 00:18:24,679
Oh, come on.
294
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:29,360
You got Andy and the cheese sample guy
at the supermarket.
295
00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:30,880
Really? Yeah.
296
00:18:31,940 --> 00:18:35,020
Honey, I just small talk with him while
I'm eating the cheese. When the cheese
297
00:18:35,020 --> 00:18:36,020
is gone, so am I.
298
00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:41,460
What do you want me to do?
299
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:42,960
I don't know.
300
00:18:44,260 --> 00:18:45,260
I miss Charlie.
301
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:49,300
But, Jim, you don't have to. Charlie's
right here.
302
00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:51,320
It's a little different. How?
303
00:18:52,140 --> 00:18:53,540
Well, Charlie's got boobs now.
304
00:18:53,820 --> 00:18:54,820
Why?
305
00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:56,280
Come on, just ignore him.
306
00:18:57,560 --> 00:18:58,560
Okay, okay, look.
307
00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:00,960
All right, how about this?
308
00:19:01,740 --> 00:19:05,060
Talk to me like I'm Charlie, okay?
309
00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:07,800
Just look me right in the eye.
310
00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:10,200
The eyes, Jim.
311
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:14,360
Hi.
312
00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:18,500
You got blue eyes. Oh.
313
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:21,080
They're really pretty.
314
00:19:21,220 --> 00:19:22,220
Thank you.
315
00:19:22,260 --> 00:19:23,260
They scare.
316
00:19:23,460 --> 00:19:25,980
That blends right into your neck. It
goes right back to where it was at.
317
00:19:39,370 --> 00:19:42,410
Okay, how about this? If I make it
again, you have to forgive me.
318
00:19:42,890 --> 00:19:45,390
And what happens if you don't? Well, you
still have to forgive me.
319
00:19:46,690 --> 00:19:52,770
And you have to wear my underwear on
your head when we go out.
320
00:19:53,490 --> 00:19:55,570
It's so ridiculous. I'm not doing that.
321
00:19:55,890 --> 00:19:57,630
Well, Charlie A would take that bet.
322
00:20:01,650 --> 00:20:03,950
So in this application, can I put you
down as a reference?
323
00:20:04,330 --> 00:20:06,590
Yeah, um, I don't think so.
324
00:20:10,959 --> 00:20:12,880
All right, hey, we ready for a touch?
325
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:14,160
Almost.
326
00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:16,320
What are you doing?
327
00:20:20,300 --> 00:20:21,860
At least they're dry.
23358
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.