All language subtitles for According to Jim s02e20 Dana Gets Fired

Oh, honey, it's not the last of the
juice, but you make sure to rinse out

bottle. Take off the label and put that
in with the paper, so I can put the

bottle in with the glass, put the cap in
with the cans. Oh, and if you notice

the bins are full, you take them out of
the curb.

Chuck!

Oh, baby.

Yeah, uh -huh, right. That's four
people, Friday night, 7 o 'clock.

Right. Oh, and it's for my brother
Andy's birthday.

He already made the reservation?

Oh, okay. Well, you know what? I'm going
to bring a cake, so... He already

dropped off a cake?

He's there right now?

Tell him to come to the car. That's it.
Give me the phone. Give me the phone.

Andy, you are sucking out all the fun of
planning this birthday for you.

Your sister really wants to do it, okay?

Andy, there's only four of us. I don't
care who you sit me next to.

Hey.

What's this?

Oh, Andy wanted us all to have
directions to the Olive Garden for his

There's also alternate routes in case
there's traffic.

When he was growing up with you guys,
was he always insane about his

Worse. You should have seen him
interviewing ponies when he turned six.

So, Jim, I have a question for you, and
I want you to wait and listen with an

open mind before you respond.

No, no. No, I don't do the open mind
thing very well.

Last time I did it, I ended up at Doug
and Eric's wedding.

Jim, I was just trying to offer you a
job. Yeah, I'd like to hire you to

my office.

I know it's your slow season, so I
thought I'd throw some work your way.

That's really nice, Dana.

You know what? I just have a strict
policy that I don't work with family.

Andy, he works for you. That's the
reason I have a strict policy.

Hello?

Andy?

No.

No!

No!

What?

He wants us all to wear those tuxedo T
-shirts.

Knock this wall down. What kind of
electrical problems are we going to run

Huh? Huh?

What? Andy, stay with me. One second.
And now, exactly 30 years

ago, this minute, I came into the world.

Daddy finally got his boy.

Hope I did you proud, pal. Oh, for
crying out loud.

You've been talking to your dad all day.
Will you knock him off?

Oh, excuse me. Excuse me, but the whole
year belongs to Jim.

Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim.

Well, this one day belongs to Andy.

Oh, along with Voltaire and Petty
Marshall.

Fine, fine. Nothing will be the plan.
Oh, oh, I can't. I need to get to the

mall. I have a semi -nude birthday
portrait I need to sit for.

Will you stay off the pony this year?

Hey, hey, will you keep it down? This is
a place of business.

And by the way, while you're here, I'm
not your little sister -in -law.

I'm the toughest nails but surprisingly
beautiful rising executive.

Yeah, I read the mug.

Dana. Yes, Mr. B? I read your ideas for
the Christy Donuts account.

Clearly, you've done a lot of work on
this. Oh, thanks.

Unfortunately, none of it's any good.

What? None of it?

Well, the staple was pretty much where I
thought it would be.

I got a lot of great feedback from the
team. Oh, so you think this is good?

Well, kind of.

Yeah. And I think it's crap. So tell me,
whose opinion do you think we should go

with?

Yours.

Exactly.

Excuse me.

That's okay, worker.

I'll be with you in a minute.

Look, why don't you let me have another
pass at it? Forget about it. I'm going

to give it to Nickman.

Nickman?

The bagel cart guy?

Well, frankly, I have more confidence in
him than you.

Now, either come up with something I can
use, or you're going to find you're

remodeling this office for someone else.

Got it?

Good.

Whoa.

What was that about?

Dina? Dina, are you all right?

Yeah, I'm fine.

Why didn't you say something to the guy?

He's new here. We just... We got off on
the wrong foot, and we're trying to work

things out. No, no, no, no. This guy
just reamed you out.

I mean, you can't let people talk to you
like that, Dana. Jim, will you just let

it go, okay?

I have... Uh, Dana?

What, Jim?

This bagel cart guy, does he have
sandwiches, too?

Hey,

uh, you got a sec? Look, I don't know
anything about the remodeling stuff.

Oh, no, no, no, sorry about that.

I was just in the other office and I
heard you talking to that lady.

And frankly, the way you spoke to her
was really inappropriate.

Really? Yes.

Now, I know she can be a pain in the ass
and she's always in your face.

You know, she never shuts up.

Even though I never met her before this
morning.

But that's no way to talk to a lady.

That's great.

Why don't you write that suggestion on
the wall, then paint over it?

You see, now that's... You're doing it
again.

And it's really pissing me off.

Excuse me.

Jody, do I have an 11 a .m. with a
jackass?

Okay.

Here's why you're not eating that
intercom right now.

Because I want you to understand what
I'm about to say.

Don't you ever talk to that woman like
that again.

Now, you're pushing her around because
you're afraid that she's going to have

your job one day. And you know what?

She will.

You got it?

Good.

Now, tell me about this bagel cart guy
I've been hearing so much about.

Not bad.

Toss this.

Hey, here's the remote.

Mommy, is Mrs. Bishop babysitting us
tonight?

Uh -huh. She's old.

And she makes us hold her teeth.

Well, that's because she trusts you,
honey.

Don't worry about that. I found the
remote.

Oh, you did?

Yeah. Great.

Okay, ask me what I did today.

Okay, what did you do today? I stood up
for your sister, Dana, at her office,

big time.

Okay. You see, her boss was reaming her,
and it got really ugly, and it was in

front of me, right? So as soon as Dana
left, I told him in a very calm, adult

way that his behavior was inappropriate.

That's one of your words.

Yeah, okay.

Then what happened?

I got a bagel.

And you threw it at him? No, no.

I told him what I wanted to say. He
heard me.

I went back to work.

Wow, Jim.

You really did handle that well.

That's right. You sound surprised.

Well, I am. Are you?

Yes. Well, you know what? You try to pin
me down, you can't. First, I'm in the

light. Then I'm in the shadow.

Where am I? You don't know.

Oh, well, honey, wherever you are, I am
very proud of you. Yeah? Yeah.

Weekday sex proud?

How about a great big kiss and a pudding
cup?

Yeah, baby.

I think that's appropriate behavior.

Hey, hey.

I don't understand why you had to fire
me.

I was doing great work.

Maybe it was political.

I don't know. I'm just too stupid to
figure it out. I'm just a big stupid...

stupid. Hey.

See? I'm in advertising, and I can't
even come up with a better word than

stupid. Oh.

Dolt?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, honey. I'm sorry.

I do crossword puzzles while the girls
are in dance class.

I've been with Johnson and Nowak for
eight years. Years. I don't know what

going to do.

Jim? Do you want to come into the living
room with me?

No, I'm okay.

Jim?

What? If you wanted me to come with you,
why didn't you just come out and say

that? I thought I did.

Hey, you guys.

I don't think I should go to Andy's
birthday party tonight. And I'm just

to ruin it for everybody. No, no, no.

You can't have both you and Andy crying.

You're just like a Lion King all over
again.

Oh, poor Mufasa.

Door.

Okay.

I'm going to ask you a question, but I'm
pretty sure I already know the answer.

Yeah, these are the same pants I wore
yesterday.

Okay, Jim.

When you talked to Dana's boss, did you
say anything?

Anything that might have gotten her
fired.

Think.

Yes?

What did you say?

I said something like...

Don't ever talk to her like that again,
or she's going to have your job someday.

But the tone was much more lighthearted
than menacing.

Sweet, kind of uplifting. How could you
do that to Dana?

Come on, you're always telling me to
treat Dana like family. And, well, I

Okay? And it felt good.

And I wish my wife could share in that
joy with me.

Well, if you're so proud of what you
did, why don't you go in and tell Dana

about it?

Now's not a good time.

She just got fired. Have a heart.

She's my sister.

I'm not going to let her sit in there
and beat herself up. I'm going to tell

her. No, no, no, no, no. If you go ahead
and do that, you know what's going to

happen? She's going to get mad at me.

Then I'm going to get mad at you. Then
Andy's going to get mad at everybody for

ruining his birthday.

And then for some reason, which will
forever remain a mystery, I'm going to

in a fight with the waiter.

She has a right to know.

I know that Andy's excited about his
birthday, but he's a big boy. He'll be

fine. You guys, you guys, it's Mixed 15.

Hey,

Andy. Hey, it's Bebe Good, and it's time
for today's birthday wishes.

Andy, don't ruin this for me.

Happy birthday, Dustin. You're five
today.

Terry is eight, and turning 30 today...
Here it is.

for six months!

Well, go ahead. Tell her.

Now is not a good time.

Oh.

Jim? Yes?

Did you just undo your belt?

Honey, a runner always stretches before
a marathon.

All right, Dana, honey, slow down.

Come on, this is Andy's night.

after getting fired.

Oh, no, that's right. You haven't worked
in ten years.

Hey!

Raising three kids is a full -time job.

Yeah, uh -huh. Well, so is having a full
-time job.

Surprise!

Why do we have to do that every time he
goes to the bathroom?

Okay. I know I said I wanted to wait
till after dinner, but I want to open my

presents now.

Oh, my God.

A watch.

Dana, this is incredible.

It's not the one I registered for, but I
love it. Thank you.

Here, my present to you.

What's this?

Your new paycheck.

You're giving me a raise?

Andy, you're a big part of what we do.

know what to say.

Well, I'm just going to speak from the
old four -chamber lounge here.

I love my job. I do.

It's my identity. It's my life.

I love waking up in the morning knowing
I have somewhere to go where I'm

appreciated. Well, most of the time.
Just kidding, Jim. Don't fire me.

No, but seriously, I just can't explain
the amount of self -loathing I would be

experiencing right now if I didn't have
a job.

Oh, Dana, now the floodgates are open.

Oh, Andy, look, she's so happy for you.

Andy, sweetie, do you want to go powder
your nose?

Wow.

You know, my dream is to send my girls
to college, but if you're hungry...

What?

You know, I know you feel like you got
fired because you screwed up, but that's

not the truth.

Yes, it is, Jim.

How could God put such incompetence
inside such a good -looking person?

I didn't do anything.

It was me.

It was me, Dana.

I got you fired.

What? Well, after your boss laid into
you like that, I had a little

talk with him. I tried to be cool, but I
might have said something that scared

him. Like what?

You know, just never to talk to you that
way again. You'd probably have his job

someday. But how about the Cappellini
Pomodoro? It's reasonable.

What? I've had it. It's delicious.

Jim, how could you do this to me? I told
you to stay out of it. I was just

trying to help, Dana.

I don't need you to speak for me. Well,
apparently you do because you didn't

stand up for yourself.

That was a choice, Jim. What kind of
choice is that, letting someone talk to

that way, treat you like crap?

You don't get it, do you?

Yeah, Bingham was a jerk, but I was
willing to put up with certain things

because I really liked having a job.

to take me back.

Thanks, Jim. Thanks a lot.

Finally, a thank you.

Where's Dana?

Well, apparently there's no time that's
the right time to talk to her.

Surprise!

Mrs. Bishop, don't even worry about it.
I'm sure they're here somewhere.

Oh, yeah, no, I'll just ask the girls.

Okay, yeah, don't even worry about it.
Okay, bye -bye.

Girls, where did you hide Mrs.

Bishop's teeth?

You need a half a dozen staplers?

How are you?

I've been better.

I'm really sorry about running out on
Andy's party last night. I hope I didn't

ruin everything.

Please, don't even worry about it.
Unlimited breadsticks go a long way.

Look, honey, I know you're upset with
Jim, but, you know, like everything else

he ruins, he does it out of love.

Yeah.

You know, I was halfway to the office to
beg that creep for my job back when I

thought, wait a minute.

Bingham's a jerk.

And I'm not incompetent, you know?
I'm... I'm great.

I'm amazing.

Yes,

you are.

What are you going to do now?

Oh, I don't know.

I just... I don't know.

I've never been out of work before.

I just know that I'm not going to let
myself be treated like that again.

Well, good for you.

Yeah. So Jim was right.

Yeah, it's just one slap in the face
after another.

Let me ask you something.

If you could do anything you wanted,
what would you do?

Okay, this is crazy.

I have always wanted to be a traffic
reporter.

You know, hovering above the city in one
of those choppers.

Oh, speaking of choppers.

I've got to get these back to Mrs.
Bishop. Ew!

I know.

Would you watch the girls for me? Yeah,
thanks.

And the eyes of...

mess it's backed up all the way to the
tri -state toll road i recommend taking

surface streets ron especially the way
you drive well it's the

truth okay in chopper seven this is
captain dana the sky

hottie

to the restaurant pretty quick last
night.

Yeah.

You never got to have your capellini
pomodoro. I wanted the Tuscan T -bone.

Yeah, but it wasn't your birthday.

Did you want some?

All right.

I'm going to be a traffic reporter.

In a helicopter?

Yes.

That's cool.

Leave some for me. Leave some for me.
Leave some for me.

It's really good.

Hey.

Hey.

I thought I fired you too, Jim.

Yes, sir, you did.

We were just picking up our stuff.

Yeah.

You really changed your tune, didn't
you?

See what happens with people who cross
Roddingham? You want to play with the

boys.

You better be a big boy.

Yes, sir.

Hey,

big boy.