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You've learned ketchup.
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Dana, Dana. What?
3
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Dana, Dana, Dana, Dana, Dana, Dana,
Dana, I need a favor.
4
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I'm great, Jim. How are you?
5
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You know, why do you women always need
foreplay for everything?
6
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Listen, I need you to pick up Cheryl's
anniversary gift for me at the Oak Brook
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Mall. Which store?
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I don't know yet. That's the other part
of the thing.
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You haven't even gotten her gift yet?
No.
10
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Jim, I'm sick and tired of doing this
for you every year. Come on, come on,
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on, please.
12
00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:41,400
You know, I just love her so much, and I
just... I don't know how to put it into
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00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:42,400
a gift.
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00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:46,240
Dina, come on, please. You're so good at
it.
15
00:00:49,980 --> 00:00:52,460
You know, if Cheryl wasn't my sister, I
would let you fry.
16
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Good, come on.
17
00:00:55,660 --> 00:00:57,280
Okay, here's the deal, all right?
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00:00:57,680 --> 00:01:01,640
We're going to do the same thing we do
every year. $15 a year times 10, that's
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$150.
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Jim, this is your 10th anniversary.
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Since you love her so much, don't you
want to do something special?
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Yeah.
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All right, throw another 15 in.
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Sure hope these are raisins.
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Mmm.
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It's good.
27
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You know what? I'm all full.
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Why don't you guys run up and get your
backpacks? Okay.
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Happy anniversary.
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What's this?
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A day for two.
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Let's massage with two of the best guys
there. You shouldn't have.
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Damn right.
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The only guy touching me is going to be
me.
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And that's only an emergency.
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Oh, darn.
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Jim can't go.
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Aw. Saturday good for you? Perfect.
Excellent.
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00:02:22,370 --> 00:02:26,830
Well, you know, that Serenity Spa sure
is nice, but it's not as nice as the
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I got you.
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00:02:27,970 --> 00:02:29,650
Oh, honey, I just can't wait.
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00:02:30,030 --> 00:02:32,990
Every year your anniversary gift is
better than the year before.
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Sensitive and thoughtful. It's almost
like they're... From a different person?
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Yes!
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00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:47,480
Well, this year's gift, honey, this
year's gift is... Wow!
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Can you give me a hint?
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Well, it's... a slightly higher retail
value than last year.
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Is he that bad? Yeah.
49
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aren't there more men like you?
50
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Oh, yeah. Evolution.
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What's with her?
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Who cares?
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This is great.
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Is this a crayon?
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Oh,
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baby.
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00:03:32,090 --> 00:03:33,090
Hey, Jim.
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00:03:33,420 --> 00:03:36,240
You'll never guess what Ruby, Gracie,
and I are doing for your anniversary.
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00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:38,800
Another Uncle Andy's puppet show?
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00:03:41,520 --> 00:03:42,520
No.
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00:03:44,080 --> 00:03:46,300
Hey, Jim, would you see what I got for
you?
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Oh, hi, Andy.
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00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:50,040
Hey, Dana.
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00:03:50,100 --> 00:03:51,100
What are you doing here?
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Oh, well, I... What?
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00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:56,060
Can't she come and visit her favorite
brother -in -law?
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00:03:56,540 --> 00:04:00,000
Dana, you'll never guess what the kids
and I are doing for Jim and Cheryl's
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anniversary. Uncle Andy's puppet show?
Yeah.
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00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:04,880
There's a leak.
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00:04:06,140 --> 00:04:09,140
Did you get something? Okay, wait till
you see this. I think I really outdid
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myself this year. Oh, give me that.
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Wow.
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A bracelet.
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Yeah. That ought to work, huh?
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00:04:17,100 --> 00:04:21,000
It's a charm bracelet. See, it's white
gold, and every charm on here represents
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a different memorable event from every
year that you've been married.
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How much?
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See, like, this is from when you
proposed, and this one is from that
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concert. How much, Dana?
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500. 500 bucks?
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00:04:34,380 --> 00:04:36,480
Come on, I'm already getting the milk
for free.
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00:04:37,840 --> 00:04:40,200
Hey, that cow's my sister.
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00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:47,480
Dana, you broke the rule. The rule is
$15 a year. This, this bracelet is
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Jim. Hold on.
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It's like a 33 and a third year
anniversary gift. You are unbelievable.
86
00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:58,560
For 10 years, you've done nothing.
Absolutely nothing. I don't think you've
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ever said thank you.
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Wow. What's that?
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00:05:02,730 --> 00:05:03,730
This?
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00:05:04,210 --> 00:05:06,290
This is Cheryl's anniversary gift.
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00:05:06,810 --> 00:05:07,810
I got it.
92
00:05:09,130 --> 00:05:10,870
You like it? It's beautiful.
93
00:05:11,670 --> 00:05:13,730
How do you do it year after year?
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00:05:14,250 --> 00:05:16,050
Well, Andy, I'll tell you.
95
00:05:16,450 --> 00:05:19,250
I don't shop with this. I shop with
this.
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00:05:19,670 --> 00:05:20,850
Show them what you think with.
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00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:24,830
Hey, Andy, you know what?
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00:05:25,870 --> 00:05:27,770
I'm not really good at wrapping gifts.
99
00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:31,940
Could you wrap this for me? Yeah.
Where's the paper? At the store.
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00:05:33,140 --> 00:05:35,040
Would you mind running out to pick some
up?
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00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:39,100
Hey, and pick up a card, too, for me,
will you? And make it romantic. You
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something with Ziggy on it.
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Okay. Oh, but let's not tell Cheryl.
It'd be great if she thought that you
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everything.
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All right. We'll do it your way.
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I feel so naughty.
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00:05:59,780 --> 00:06:04,040
Cheryl, you've done it again. Another
great anniversary dinner. Oh, thank you,
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00:06:04,040 --> 00:06:05,040
sweetie.
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00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:07,180
Cheryl, no, no, no, no, no. What are you
doing?
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Come on, come on. This is a special day.
You can clear these later.
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Okay, everyone.
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Please make your way into the living
room for a very special performance.
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Remember to turn off all cell phones and
pagers.
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And please, no flash photography.
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00:06:30,350 --> 00:06:31,269
There's gonna be snacks.
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Well, why don't you just finish what's
on your chin?
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I try to eat the shirt stuff first.
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Oh, okay, okay. Here's the big show.
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Ladies and gentlemen, the Uncle Andy
players present When Daddy Proposed to
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Mommy.
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00:06:51,570 --> 00:06:53,470
Interior Italian restaurant evening.
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Jim and Cheryl are meeting for a very
special date.
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Cue music.
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Press play.
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The pink button.
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00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:08,340
Jim decides to play a prank on Cheryl.
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Hey, Cheryl, you want to cool off?
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Jim then pours his beer onto Cheryl.
129
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She doesn't look happy.
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I'm happy.
131
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Not happy.
132
00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:23,500
I'm not happy.
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00:07:25,860 --> 00:07:30,010
Jim, not knowing how to deflect the
attention from his stupidity, That's the
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ultimate question.
135
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Are you going to finish that?
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No, really.
137
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What he said was... Will you marry me?
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Cheryl was shocked.
139
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Jim said if the answer was yes, she
should pour her drink onto him.
140
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I have a surprise for Daddy.
141
00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:02,330
You wait here. Andy, would you give me a
hand?
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00:08:02,690 --> 00:08:04,110
Oh, I don't need a gift.
143
00:08:07,230 --> 00:08:09,790
So, Jim, you want to just write me a
check for Cheryl's present?
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00:08:10,730 --> 00:08:11,730
Where's the receipt?
145
00:08:12,430 --> 00:08:14,090
What, you think I'm trying to cheat you?
146
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You know, I didn't say that, but
interesting you would go there.
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You ungrateful jerk. Give me the
bracelet. Come on, come on. How much was
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00:08:22,810 --> 00:08:25,770
really? You're such a jackass. Come on.
You don't think you had new shoes there,
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don't you? Hey, come on. Okay.
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00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:48,360
Come on, this must have cost a fortune.
151
00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:50,780
Nope, it's fake leather.
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Yes, my girl.
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Thank you.
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00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:58,400
You're welcome. I just love it. It's
great.
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00:08:59,140 --> 00:09:01,600
Now, it's time for your gift.
156
00:09:02,980 --> 00:09:08,080
And I thought it would be more romantic
if Dana gave it to you.
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Dana?
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00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:15,240
Oh, honey.
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00:09:16,140 --> 00:09:18,540
Info anniversary to you, too.
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00:09:20,440 --> 00:09:21,440
Here,
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let me get it.
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Oh, honey.
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It's beautiful.
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It is, isn't it?
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It's white gold.
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That's like real gold, but white.
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And you know the best part of it is?
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Each charm represents a memorable event
from every year that we were married.
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00:09:47,300 --> 00:09:48,400
Oh, honey.
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This is your most wonderful and personal
gift ever.
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00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:57,680
Can you believe he did that? No.
172
00:10:00,380 --> 00:10:02,160
How did you come up with this?
173
00:10:06,420 --> 00:10:10,680
Well, I started looking through some
winning photos.
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00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:16,420
And then I took a walk along the lake
and stopped at the church where we got
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married.
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00:10:17,540 --> 00:10:23,160
I don't know, it just came to me, you
know, white gold, wrap it yourself.
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It's a tiny little beer mug.
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Yeah, that's for the year I proposed to
you. Oh, and lips with a tongue sticking
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00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:40,760
out. That's from the Rolling Stone
concert. Oh, look, a little traffic
180
00:10:41,120 --> 00:10:42,120
Traffic light?
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00:10:42,680 --> 00:10:43,700
What's that for, Jim?
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00:10:50,380 --> 00:10:52,920
Well, you know what? Cheryl tells it
better than me.
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00:10:53,140 --> 00:10:54,700
You bought it, you tell it.
184
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,660
Well, honey, you know what?
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I don't want to hog the spotlight here.
Maybe, Dana, do you think you can add
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something to the story?
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00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:05,560
Not without a receipt.
188
00:11:13,150 --> 00:11:15,710
Yes. Do you know what this charm is for?
189
00:11:17,190 --> 00:11:19,030
Of course I know what it's for.
190
00:11:20,030 --> 00:11:26,910
But you know what I think would be fun,
I mean for everyone, is if Dana could
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00:11:26,910 --> 00:11:28,650
tell us what the charm is for.
192
00:11:30,430 --> 00:11:31,429
I don't know.
193
00:11:31,430 --> 00:11:33,090
Well, then why did I put it on the
bracelet?
194
00:11:33,770 --> 00:11:35,790
Why did I put it on the bracelet?
195
00:11:36,450 --> 00:11:38,890
That is the question at hand now.
196
00:11:40,030 --> 00:11:42,810
did I put on... You know what? I got
notes in the kitchen because I wrote
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00:11:42,810 --> 00:11:44,550
whole thing up about the charms. Jim?
198
00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:47,330
Yes?
199
00:11:48,770 --> 00:11:51,390
You didn't buy this bracelet, did you? I
paid for it.
200
00:11:51,750 --> 00:11:53,010
I'm gonna pay for it.
201
00:11:56,570 --> 00:11:57,710
So Dana bought this?
202
00:11:58,090 --> 00:11:59,090
Huh?
203
00:11:59,570 --> 00:12:01,570
Has she bought any of our other
anniversary gifts?
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00:12:03,950 --> 00:12:04,950
Some of them.
205
00:12:06,290 --> 00:12:07,290
Which one?
206
00:12:09,290 --> 00:12:10,290
All of them.
207
00:12:11,010 --> 00:12:12,630
I'm sorry, Cheryl.
208
00:12:13,230 --> 00:12:19,130
So, in the ten years we've been
together... Yes?
209
00:12:19,350 --> 00:12:21,950
You haven't picked out one of my
anniversary gifts?
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00:12:29,190 --> 00:12:31,710
Suddenly me wrapping it doesn't seem so
bad.
211
00:12:40,650 --> 00:12:43,570
Okay, Cheryl, I remember what the
traffic light charm means.
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00:12:43,910 --> 00:12:46,930
It was the time we played red light,
green light with the kids and you
213
00:12:46,930 --> 00:12:47,930
your tooth. No!
214
00:12:48,490 --> 00:12:51,810
Okay, it was at the state fair, and that
guy was going to guess my weight by
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00:12:51,810 --> 00:12:53,850
picking me up, and he didn't even work
there.
216
00:12:55,530 --> 00:12:57,510
There's not even a traffic light in that
story.
217
00:12:57,770 --> 00:12:59,090
I know, but it still bothers me.
218
00:13:01,770 --> 00:13:05,250
I can't believe this has been going on
behind my back for ten years.
219
00:13:05,710 --> 00:13:07,970
Oh, come on, Cheryl, what's the big
deal?
220
00:13:08,310 --> 00:13:09,310
The big...
221
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:13,259
for this one?
222
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:16,020
I'm gonna pay for it. I just need a
receipt for my taxes.
223
00:13:16,340 --> 00:13:17,960
You can't write jewelry off.
224
00:13:18,220 --> 00:13:19,580
You can't if it's a business gift.
225
00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:24,120
By the way, if anybody asks you, you're
a welder.
226
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:30,860
You tell the IRS you buy charm bracelets
for welders? I'm not proud of it,
227
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:31,920
Cheryl.
228
00:13:33,060 --> 00:13:34,460
Jim, it's not funny.
229
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:37,640
You know, those gifts you got me every
year made me feel like you really knew
230
00:13:37,640 --> 00:13:39,740
me. Obviously, you don't.
231
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:40,939
You know what?
232
00:13:40,940 --> 00:13:44,940
You really don't know me. Because if you
did, you'd be thanking me for not
233
00:13:44,940 --> 00:13:47,620
getting you a bunch of lousy gifts that
you're probably going to return anyway.
234
00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:48,960
I know you.
235
00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:50,420
Oh, you do, do you?
236
00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:52,580
Okay, well, what am I thinking about
right now?
237
00:13:52,860 --> 00:13:55,360
Cake. That's not fair. I just had cake.
238
00:13:58,340 --> 00:13:59,660
Jim, don't you see?
239
00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:04,620
Whatever you got me, if it came from
your heart, I would love it and cherish
240
00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:07,520
forever. Oh, come on.
241
00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:12,190
Women always say that. and they don't
mean it. Well, I do.
242
00:14:13,670 --> 00:14:14,750
Okay, fine.
243
00:14:16,030 --> 00:14:19,250
So then from now on, whatever I get you,
you're going to love?
244
00:14:19,690 --> 00:14:21,670
If it comes from your heart, then yes.
245
00:14:22,690 --> 00:14:23,950
Okay. Okay.
246
00:14:24,570 --> 00:14:25,570
Okay.
247
00:14:26,430 --> 00:14:27,430
You know what?
248
00:14:28,830 --> 00:14:30,610
I don't care where this came from.
249
00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:31,910
I love it.
250
00:14:33,030 --> 00:14:37,090
But you know what? The only thing about
this is it won't rub your feet. Forget
251
00:14:37,090 --> 00:14:38,090
it, Jim.
252
00:14:43,020 --> 00:14:44,020
Come on, let me ask you something.
253
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:49,140
What is the one thing that I really want
that Cheryl said will never happen?
254
00:14:49,760 --> 00:14:51,000
Donuts with liquor in them.
255
00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:57,120
No, but I think someone's going to make
a lot of money off that.
256
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:01,080
A big screen TV?
257
00:15:01,740 --> 00:15:06,120
Andy, it's not just any big screen TV.
This is the mother of all big screen
258
00:15:06,220 --> 00:15:06,759
Look at this.
259
00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:11,720
52 inches, surround sound, and picture
in picture. Oh, my God.
260
00:15:12,490 --> 00:15:15,450
I feel so small in the universe.
261
00:15:17,970 --> 00:15:20,350
Jim, Cheryl's never going to let you
keep this.
262
00:15:20,610 --> 00:15:21,610
Oh, yes, she will.
263
00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:25,390
Because that's the beauty of it. You
see, last night she said to me that
264
00:15:25,390 --> 00:15:28,330
love anything I gave her as long as it
came from the heart.
265
00:15:29,010 --> 00:15:31,350
Jim, you are a god to me. Thank you.
266
00:15:31,770 --> 00:15:34,630
A god who's going to get his ass kicked.
267
00:15:36,710 --> 00:15:37,710
Honey?
268
00:15:37,950 --> 00:15:39,230
Honey, hold on a second.
269
00:15:42,990 --> 00:15:46,630
Honey, honey, wait a second. I got a
surprise for you. Oh, honey, not now.
270
00:15:46,690 --> 00:15:47,690
There's milk in the car.
271
00:15:47,730 --> 00:15:49,010
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
272
00:15:49,290 --> 00:15:50,089
Come on.
273
00:15:50,090 --> 00:15:52,870
What is the one thing that you thought
would never happen?
274
00:15:53,150 --> 00:15:56,210
Oh, for the love of God, Jim, if this is
another donut with a pork in it.
275
00:15:58,070 --> 00:15:59,070
No.
276
00:15:59,550 --> 00:16:00,550
Better.
277
00:16:00,690 --> 00:16:01,690
It's a present.
278
00:16:02,350 --> 00:16:03,350
Happy anniversary!
279
00:16:05,730 --> 00:16:07,390
This is your gift from the heart?
280
00:16:07,670 --> 00:16:08,670
Yes.
281
00:16:08,910 --> 00:16:11,350
Look at it. This is beautiful here.
282
00:16:11,610 --> 00:16:13,620
See? This has got picture in picture,
see?
283
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:18,200
So, you can let me watch the show I want
while you watch your show in the little
284
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:19,460
corner up there on the screen.
285
00:16:21,260 --> 00:16:22,320
How nice of me.
286
00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,180
Cheryl, remember what you said.
287
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:26,740
Oh, I know what I said.
288
00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:29,360
You like it? I like it.
289
00:16:30,420 --> 00:16:31,500
Doesn't sound like it.
290
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:32,720
I love it.
291
00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:35,200
What do you say?
292
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:36,960
Thank you.
293
00:16:37,620 --> 00:16:38,620
You're welcome.
294
00:16:44,270 --> 00:16:48,090
Watching is what we did on our old TV,
girls. Sit down. Check this out.
295
00:16:55,250 --> 00:16:58,670
Oh, guys,
296
00:17:01,710 --> 00:17:05,490
five minutes to kick off. Wait till you
see this on the big screen TV.
297
00:17:10,890 --> 00:17:13,170
Sitting around on a Sunday watching a
Sex and the City marathon.
298
00:17:17,510 --> 00:17:22,290
Honey, the guys are here, the game is
starting, and we want to watch it on the
299
00:17:22,290 --> 00:17:23,089
big screen.
300
00:17:23,089 --> 00:17:24,210
I thought this was my TV.
301
00:17:24,630 --> 00:17:28,770
I mean, it was a gift from your heart,
wasn't it?
302
00:17:33,070 --> 00:17:34,070
Come on.
303
00:17:34,310 --> 00:17:35,410
The guys are here.
304
00:17:36,110 --> 00:17:38,350
It's okay, honey, because we have
picture in picture.
305
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:42,540
I'll let you guys watch her game in the
little box in the corner.
306
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:45,600
Did you put her up to this?
307
00:17:45,980 --> 00:17:46,980
Can't talk, busy.
308
00:18:15,690 --> 00:18:18,710
to teach me a lesson, aren't you? Oh,
after 10 years, don't you think I'd know
309
00:18:18,710 --> 00:18:19,730
you'd pull a stunt like this?
310
00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:22,450
You know what, honey? You're right.
311
00:18:23,150 --> 00:18:26,930
And you know what? That's the great
thing about our marriage is that we can
312
00:18:26,930 --> 00:18:29,190
mistakes, learn from them, and move on.
313
00:18:29,470 --> 00:18:30,470
Oh.
314
00:18:31,050 --> 00:18:32,590
You're still not watching the big
screen.
315
00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:10,230
so clean hey honey listen i've been
thinking
316
00:19:10,230 --> 00:19:16,630
and you know maybe i shouldn't have
bought this tv just to spite you so i'm
317
00:19:16,630 --> 00:19:23,590
gonna take it back you're taking it back
yeah what you don't want me to no no no
318
00:19:23,590 --> 00:19:27,050
you should okay okay i'm gonna i'm gonna
call them up first thing in the morning
319
00:19:27,050 --> 00:19:31,750
pick it up okay i'm gonna make sure that
it's their first stop in the morning
320
00:19:31,750 --> 00:19:32,750
actually
321
00:19:34,419 --> 00:19:36,920
Actually, you know what? I can call them
now, leave a message, so they get it
322
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:39,900
first thing in the morning. Oh, all
right! I love it! Uh -huh.
323
00:19:40,120 --> 00:19:44,240
I love this TV. I want to marry it. I
knew it!
324
00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:48,160
Well, can you believe me? This thing is
amazing!
325
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:52,980
52 -inch screen, four channels of sound,
800 lines of resolution.
326
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:55,080
What's that mean? I don't know!
327
00:19:57,300 --> 00:19:58,300
You see?
328
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,160
I knew you would love this, Cheryl.
329
00:20:00,380 --> 00:20:02,820
No, no, no. You got lucky. Okay, maybe.
330
00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:06,420
I did maybe, but I do know you, honey.
331
00:20:06,680 --> 00:20:11,480
Oh, yeah? I do. I know a lot about you.
I know important things about you. I
332
00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:15,020
know that that little scar on your
forehead there is when you were six
333
00:20:15,020 --> 00:20:16,280
old, you ran into the refrigerator.
334
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,800
I know you like your hamburgers medium
and your steaks rare.
335
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:25,200
I know that you love your toes and you
love New Year's.
336
00:20:25,690 --> 00:20:29,350
You love New Year's, especially that one
time we were walking back from Dana's
337
00:20:29,350 --> 00:20:33,550
party and we stopped at every corner and
kissed until the light turned green.
338
00:20:34,790 --> 00:20:36,250
And we kissed.
339
00:20:38,350 --> 00:20:39,970
And you were happy.
340
00:20:40,690 --> 00:20:43,950
And now I know what that charm on the
bracelet means.
341
00:20:45,750 --> 00:20:48,090
How much do you love me right now?
342
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,060
You're feeling pretty good about
yourself, aren't you? Oh, yeah.
343
00:20:56,700 --> 00:20:57,700
Oh,
344
00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:59,520
happy anniversary, honey.
345
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:00,900
Happy anniversary, baby.
346
00:21:06,740 --> 00:21:07,740
Jim?
347
00:21:08,820 --> 00:21:11,020
Yeah? Can we afford this TV?
348
00:21:11,420 --> 00:21:12,420
Sure.
349
00:21:13,380 --> 00:21:14,620
It's the kids we can't afford.
350
00:21:17,660 --> 00:21:20,020
Yeah. We gotta keep them, though.
351
00:21:20,740 --> 00:21:21,740
All right.
352
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:23,360
But no couch. Deal.
25309
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