All language subtitles for 1982 - Spider`s Web

Thank you.

Oh, yes, definitely. That is the Dow 24.

All right.

Thank you.

Dow 24.

Hmm. Ah, now, that is a wine indeed.

Coburn 27.

To waste a bottle of COVID -27 on an
experiment like this is positively

sacrilegious. Right. Now, that you say
is a COVID -27. Number two is the Dow.

Number one is a rich, ruby port -type
wine. I can't imagine why Clarissa has

such a thing in the house, you know.

Anyway, come on. It's now my turn. She
probably uses it for jugged hair or for

flavouring soup.

Yes. Well, I bet I'm as good a judge of
port as you any day, my boy.

What's going on here?

Three country glasses?

Now, who is that?

Who's brought a dog into the room? Very
young, Warrantor. Oh. Three times for

the lodge gates and back in a
Mackintosh.

The Hirst of the Vagin Minister did it
in four minutes, fifty -three seconds.

I went all out, couldn't do better than
six minutes, ten seconds.

I don't believe he did either. Who told
you that about the Hirst of the Vagin

Minister?

Clarissa. Well, you mustn't pay any
attention to what Clarissa tells you.

afraid you don't know your hostess very
well, Warrantor. She's a young lady with

a very vivid imagination.

Didn't she make the whole thing up? I
wouldn't put it past her. Here you are,

Hugo. Wait till I see that young woman.
I have something to say to her.

Gosh, I'm dead. Now, will you stop
puffing like a grampus? I'm trying to

concentrate. We have a bet on, Rowley
and I.

Oh, what is it?

Who's the best judge of port? Now,
quiet, please. Now, this is important.

Well? Now, don't hustle me, Rowley. I'm
not going to rush my fences.

Where's the next one?

Wait a minute.

There you are, Hugo.

Yeah, well, I'm pretty sure about those
two. The first was the Dow, the second

was the Coburn. I think number three is
the Dow, and number one is the Coburn.

Yeah, I don't think it's really worth my
while trying number three.

However, I suppose I'd better go through
with it.

There you are.

Oh.

Oh, what unspeakable muck.

It'll take me an hour to get the taste
out of my mouth. Here, let me out of

rolling. Come on, come on, come on. Come
on.

So that's what you say. Number two is
the greatest type of special. It's

to die at 24.

You're losing your palate, my boy.

Let me try.

Not me, you are.

All tastes the same to me.

You young people, you know, it's all
this confounded gin you're always

Ruins your palate, you know.

Hello, my darling.

Have you settled in yet? Yes, Professor,
we're quite ready for you.

Number one is the coven, number two is
the port -type wine -stuff, and number

three was the dowel. Absolute rubbish.
Number one is the port -type wine

number two is the dowel, number three is
the coven 27. I am right, am I not?

Darlings. Now, you take the tray back to
the dining room. You'll find the

decanter on the sideboard.

Decanter? Yes, just one decanter. It's
all the same portion, you know.

Professor, you are in principle humbug.
Well, it's such a wet afternoon, and you

meant to play golf. You must have some
fun.

And you have had fun with this darling,
haven't you? Well, upon my soul, you

ought to be ashamed of yourself showing
up your elders and betters.

Now then, Clarissa, what all this about
the hurt Slovakian minister?

What about him?

Did he ever run to the lodge gate and
back in a Macintosh three times in four

minutes, fifty -three seconds?

The hurts of Slovakian ministers are
dear, but he's well over sixty, and I

very much whether he's run anywhere for
years.

Figured he'd make the whole thing up.

Why? You've been complaining the whole
day about not getting enough exercise.

Clarissa, do you ever speak the truth?

Of course I do.

Sometimes. But when I am speaking the
truth, nobody ever seems to believe me.

It's very odd. Why do you believe it's
clearing up? It's going to be a lovely

evening.

You really like living down here in the
country? Oh, I love it.

Must get bored to death.

It's so incongruous for you, Clarissa.

You ought to lead a gay life in London.

You'd make a brilliant hostess.

Such a waste.

Me? Yes.

Then there's Henry.

What about Henry? I can't imagine why
you ever married him.

Years older than you, with a daughter at
school.

Well, an excellent man, I've no doubt,
but dull as ditch water.

No sense of humour.

Oh, I suppose you think I oughtn't to
say these things. Oh, I don't mind to

anything you like.

So you do realise you've made a mistake?

Oh, but I haven't made a mistake.

Are you making immoral advances to me,
Jeremy?

Definitely. Oh, how lovely. Go on.

I love you. Oh, I'm so glad.

Well, that's entirely the wrong answer.
You're supposed to say, I'm so sorry, in

a deep, sympathetic voice. Oh, but I'm
not sorry. I'm delighted. I like people

to be in love with me.

Would you do anything in the world for
me?

Anything? Clearly.

Supposing I murdered someone, would you
help me?

Oh, no, I must not.

No, go on.

Well, you see...

My life has always been peaceful and
happy. Nothing exciting ever happened.

began to play my little game.

I call it supposing.

Supposing? Yes, I say to myself,
supposing... Hello, Professor.

Oh, hello, Pippa. You're late.

Music lesson.

Any food about?

I'm starving.

You get your buns to eat on the bus.

Oh, yes, but that was half an hour ago.

Can't I have some cake or something to
last me until supper?

We'll see what we can find.

The cherry's on top.

No, you finished that yesterday.

Ah, boy, there is Mrs. Harrison -Brown
about.

Ah, yes, she just went with Pippa to
find us something to eat.

Will you come in, Miss Peake? No, I
won't come in because of my boots. Bring

half the garden with me if I do. I just
wanted to ask, what veggies for

tomorrow's lunch?

I'm afraid I... I tell you what, I'll
come back later.

Oh, uh, you will be careful with that
desk, won't you, Mr. Warren?

Yes, of course I will. It's a valuable
antique. You oughtn't to wrench the

drawers out like that.

I'm terribly sorry. I was only looking
for some notepaper. The middle drawer.

Ah.

That's right.

It's curious how often people can't see
what's right in front of their eyes.

Oh, this is a smashing bunk.

Hello there.

How was school today?

Pretty foul.

Well, then.

What's your favourite subject?

Biology. It's heaven.

Yesterday, we dissected a frog's leg.

Look what I got in the second -hand
bookstore.

It's awfully rare, I'm sure.

Over a hundred years old.

What is it exactly?

Well, it's a kind of recipe book.

It is thrilling.

Absolutely thrilling.

Seems very absorbing.

What?

Gosh.

Evidently a good tuppany worth.

between a waxed candle and a tallow
candle.

I should think a tallow candle is
markedly inferior, but surely you can't

it.

Can you eat it?

Sounds like animal, vegetable and
mineral.

Do you know demon patients?

Mm -hm.

It's such a waste living in the country
when it's wet.

Do you like living in the country?

Rather.

I like it much better than living in
London.

This is a wizard's house with a tennis
court and everything, and we've even got

a priest's hole.

A priest's hole in this house?

Yes. Don't believe it. Wrong period.

Well, I call it a priest's hole.

Look.

I'll show you.

It isn't a real priest's hole, of
course.

Actually, that door goes through into
the library.

Does it?

Very dumb.

But it's all but a secret, and you'd
never guess it was there unless you

a dead body in.

Don't you think?

Absolutely made for it.

Oh, the Amazon was looking for you. Miss
Peter, what a bore.

Hey, that's mine.

Greedy thing.

First she hailed me as though I were a
ship, then ticked me off for manhandling

the desk.

She's a dreadful pest, but she goes with
the house. Black tan on red jack. And

she's really a very good gardener.

Yes, I know.

I saw her from my bedroom window this
morning digging something that looked

an enormous grave.

That's deep trenching.

Red three on the black four.

It's cleared up at last. No time for
golf, though. Only about 20 minutes of

daylight left.

That goes on there. I suppose we'd
better get over to the golf club. But

going to get my coat.

What about you, young man? I have to get
my jacket.

Well, you don't mind dining at the
clubhouse, darling? Not at all. Very

arrangements that the servants are going
out.

Papa is already in the schoolroom, Miss
Pippa. Oh, good. I'm wrapping it. Here,

here. You put those cards away first.

Excuse me, madam.

Yes, Elgin. What is it? There's been a
little unpleasantness over the

vegetables. Oh, dear. With Miss Peake?
Yes, madam. She's continually coming to

the kitchen and criticising. And Mrs.
Elgin doesn't like it. She doesn't like

at all.

Wherever we've been, Mrs. Elgin and
myself have always had very pleasant

relations with the garden.

Oh, well, I'm very sorry. I'll, um...

I'll try to arrange it.

Thank you, madam.

What class they are.

What curious things they say. How can
one have pleasant relations with the

garden?

Something proper in a pagan kind of way.

Come on, Pippa, hurry up.

I wish one thing to us after the
clearing up.

There.

Oh, take your bun with you.

And your satchel.

And shut the door.

Wonderful.

She's a different child. You've done a
good job there, Clarissa. I think she

really likes me now and trusts me.

I quite enjoy being a stepmother.

I'd like to wring Miranda's neck.

I feel furious every time I think of
Miranda.

What she made Henry suffer and what she
made that child go through. I still

can't understand how any woman could.

Taking drugs is a nasty business. It
alters the whole character.

Who taught her to run them in the first
place? I think it was that swine Oliver

Costello. I believe he's in on the drug
racket. She's a horrible man. Really

evil, I always think. She's married him,
hasn't she? About a month ago.

Well, Henry's well rid of Miranda.

Good job, Henry.

Doesn't say much, undemonstrative, but
sound all through.

That young fellow, Jeremy, what's his
name?

What do you know about him?

He's very amusing.

That's all people seem to think about
nowadays.

Don't do anything foolish, will you?

You don't fall in love with Jeremy
Warrender. That's what you mean.

That would be extremely foolish.

You know, Clarissa, my darling, I
watched you grow up.

You really mean a great deal to me.

Now, if you were ever in trouble of any
kind, you would come to your old garden,

wouldn't you? Of course, really,
darling.

I needn't worry about Jeremy.

Excuse me. I hope you don't mind my
coming in this way, Mrs. Hilton -Brown.

left my boots outside, but I would just
like you to look at this collie.

It, um... It looked very nice.

Take a look.

I can't see anything wrong with it. Of
course there's nothing wrong with it.

That woman in the kitchen, she... Well,
of course, I don't want to say anything

against your servant, Mrs. Elgin Brown,
though I couldn't say a great deal. But

that Mrs. Elgin actually told me it was
such a poor specimen she wasn't going to

cook it. I was so angry I could have
killed her.

In future, I shall leave the veggies
outside the back door.

Oh, that's all right. I'll do this.

A cop of some court?

Yes. You want to speak to Mrs. Brown?
Yes, she's here.

This is Mrs. Haleson.

Hello?

Hello?

Oh, they seem to have run off.

Uh, excuse me.

Mr. Sellon always liked this cupboard
back against the wall.

You will be careful about marks made
with glasses on the furniture, won't

Mrs Brown -Hilson? Oh, Hilton Brown.

Brown -Hilson, Hilton Brown. It's all
the same thing, really, isn't it?

No, it's not.

A horse chestnut is hardly the same
thing as a chestnut horse.

I'm getting a regular ticking off. Quite
sarcastic.

Well, I must be off.

Give me the collie.

Horse chestnut, chestnut horse.

That's jolly good, that one, you know. I
must remember that.

What a dreadful woman that is.

Yes, I agree she's maddening, but she's
a very good gardener. And she goes with

the house.

And says the house is so wonderfully
cheap.

Cheap? Oh, you surprise me.

Oh, amazingly cheap.

It was advertised.

We came and saw it and took it then and
there for six months, furnished. Who

does it belong to? Well, it belonged to
a Mr. Sellon. He was an antique dealer

in Maidstone. Oh, yes, yes, I remember.

Sellon and Brown. I bought a very nice
Chippendale mirror from them once.

Marcelin used to live here, and he drove
into Maidstone every day.

Mind you, there are one or two
disadvantages to the house. Only

in a violent check suit drove up in a
sports car and wanted to buy that desk.

told him it wasn't ours, but he simply
didn't believe me. Kept on raising the

price. He offered 500 pounds in the end.

500 pounds?

Good Lord!

I'm still hungry.

You can't be.

Milk and chocolate biscuits and a banana
aren't really filling.

It's a nice death, quite genuine, but
not what I call a collector's piece.

Well, perhaps it has a secret drawer
with a diamond necklace in it.

It has got a secret drawer.

What?

Well, I found a book in the market all
about secret drawers in old furniture.

And I tried all over the house. But that
is the only one that's got one.

Look, I'll show you.

You see, you slide out this.

and there's a sort of little cat thing
underneath.

Well, it's not very secret.

Ah, but that isn't all.

Underneath, there's a spring, and a jaw
slides out.

Oh, I see. What's this?

Sucks to you.

I put it there.

Villain.

Actually, there was an envelope with an
autograph of Queen Victoria in it.

Look, I'll show you.

Do you collect drafts, Beverly?

Well, no, not really.

Only the sidelines.

is Queen Victoria's autograph worth?
About five or ten shillings, I should

think.

Well, there's Ruskin's here, too, and
Robert Browning's. Oh, not much either,

I'm afraid.

A girl at school collects stamps, and
her brother has a smashing collection

himself.

Last autumn, he thought he'd got one
like the one in the paper.

Um, a Swedish something or other, which
is worth hundreds of pounds.

Anyway, he was awfully excited and took
it to a dealer.

that it wasn't what he thought it was.

Anyway, he gave him five pounds for it.

Five pounds is pretty good, isn't it?

Can I get any more chocolate biscuits in
the large, Clarissa? Yes, if you like.

Well, I think I must be off.

Jeremy!

Hi, Jeremy!

Coming. Well, better go out this way. I
think it's nearer.

Good night, Clarissa.

Thank you for your hospitality.

Good night, Clarissa.

Goodbye, my darling.

Wanda and I will probably not be back
until about midnight.

Really, it's a lovely evening.

I think I'll come with you as far as the
gate onto the golf course.

Theresa's coming with us as far as the
gate.

Good evening, sir.

I come to see Mrs. Brown.

Oh, yes? What name, sir?

Mr. Costello.

This way, sir.

Thank you.

You will wait in here, sir.

Madam Ibbott -Holme, I will see if I can
find her.

You? Clarissa, what are you doing here?

It's a rather silly question, isn't it?
This is my house.

This is your house?

Well, don't pretend you don't know.

It's charming.

Used to belong to, oh, what's his name?

The antique dealer, didn't it?

Yes, he brought me here once to show me
some Louis Carle's chairs.

Cigarette? No, thank you. And I think
you'd better go.

My husband will be home quite soon. I
don't think he'll be very pleased to see

you. Ah.

But I particularly do want to see him.

That's why I've come here, really, to
make suitable arrangements.

Arrangements?

For Pippa.

Miranda's quite agreeable to Pippa
spending part of the summer holidays

Henry and perhaps a week of Christmas.
But otherwise... What do you mean?

Pippa's home is here.

But, my dear Theresa, you're surely
aware the court gave Miranda the custody

the child.

Mary?

The case was undefended, remember?

Henry allowed Miranda to divorce him,
but it was agreed between them privately

that Pippa should live with her father.

I don't believe for one moment that
Miranda wants that child or cares

about her.

Ah, but then, you're not a mother, are
you, my dear Clarissa?

You don't mind me calling you Clarissa,
do you?

After all, now I'm married to Miranda,
we are practically relations at all. You

are not having Pippa.

That child was a nervous wreck.

She's better now and happy at school,
and that's the way she's going to

And how will you manage that, my dear?

The law, I'm afraid, is on our side.

What's behind all this?

What do you really want?

What a fool I am.

Of course, it's blackmail.

I was looking for you, madam.

Yes, Elgin, what is it?

Will it be all right for us to leave
now?

Yes, quite all right. The taxi has come
for us, suffered aid already in the

dining room.

Do you want me to shut up in here?

No, no, I'll see to it.

Thank you, madam.

Good night, madam. Good night, Elgin.

A blackmail is a very ugly word,
Clarissa.

Have I mentioned money?

Not yet, but that's what you mean, isn't
it?

Well, I must confess, it's true we're
not very well off.

Miranda, you know, has always been
somewhat extravagant.

I think that she feels that Henry might
be able to spare her somewhat large

allowance.

After all, he's a rich man.

Now, listen.

You are not having Pippa. You try and
get her away from here and I shall fight

you tooth and nail and I don't care what
weapons I use.

It shouldn't be difficult to get medical
evidence proving that Miranda's a drug

addict. I hardly think Henry will care
for your methods. Then Henry will have

lump them. It's the child that matters.

Pippa, did you know there ain't two
chocolate biscuits left in the tin?

Why, hello, Pippa.

My goodness, how you've grown.

I've just been making some arrangements
about you.

Your mother is looking forward to having
you with her again.

She and I are married now, you know.

I won't come.

I won't come, Carissa. It's all right,
Cooper. Your home is here with your

father and with me, and you're not
leaving it. But I assure you, my dear...

out of here at once. At once, do you
hear? I will not have you in my house.

Excuse me. Miss Peake, will you show Mr
Costello to the gate onto the golf

links?

Miss Peake, was it?

Pleased to meet you. I'm the gardener
here.

Indeed.

I came here once before to look at some
antique furniture.

Oh, yes, in Mr. Selland's time.

Well, you can't see him today, you know.
He's dead.

No, I didn't come to see him. I came to
see Mrs. Brown.

Oh, yes?

Well, now you've seen her.

Yes.

Well.

Goodbye, Clarissa.

You will hear from me, you know.

This way, Mr Costello.

Did you want the bus or have you brought
your own?

I left my car around by the stables.

He'll take me away from here. No. I hate
him. I always hated him. I don't want

to go back to Manor. I'd rather die.

I'll kill him. No.

I'll kill myself. Pippa. I'll cut my
wrist and bleed to death. Pippa, I'm

I hate...

Oh, dear, I know.

Perhaps I'll be struck by lightning.

Very likely.

Now, pull yourself together.

Everything's all right.

You go and have a bath. Mind you, have a
really good wash.

Your neck is absolutely filthy.

It always is.

You won't take me away from here, will
you?

Over my dead body.

No, over his dead body. There. Does that
satisfy you?

Now, run along.

Hello, darling.

It's been an awful day.

Hasn't it?

Do you want a drink?

Not just now.

Who's in the house?

Nobody. The Elgin's night out.

Black Thursday.

You know, cold ham, chocolate mousse,
and the coffee will be really good

I should know.

Is anything the matter?

Well, yes.

In a way.

Something wrong?

Miranda? Oh, nothing wrong.

I should say, quite the contrary.

Darling, do I perceive behind the
impenetrable Foreign Office facade a

human excitement?

Well, it is rather exciting, in a way.

You'll have to keep this to yourself,
Clarissa.

Yes? It's really very secret. No one is
supposed to know.

Actually... You will have to know. Well,
come on, tell me.

Really, very hush -hush.

Callendorf is flying to London for a
conference.

The news was only released officially
tonight.

His plane arrives at Croydon at 8 .40,
but actually... The conference

is tomorrow, but it would be a great
advantage if a conversation could take

place first between Sir John himself and
Callendorf.

Now, naturally, the reporters are all
waiting at Croydon, and the moment

Callendorf's plane arrives, his
movements are more or less public

Go on, I'm thrilled.

The plane, at the last moment, will find
it inadvisable to land at Croydon.

It will be diverted, as is usual on
these occasions... To Bindley Heath,

miles from here.

You are always very quick, Clarissa.

Yes, I shall go off there now to the
aerodrome in the car. Meet Callendorf.

And bring him here.

Sir John is motoring here directly from
London.

Twenty minutes should be ample for what
they have to discuss.

Then Callendorf will go back to London
with Sir John.

Oh, Clarissa, this may be of very great
value to me in my career.

Oh, darling, I think it's all wonderful.

Oh, by the way, Callendorf will be
referred to as Mr. Jones.

Mr. Jones?

Well, one can't be too careful about
using real names.

Yes, but, Mr.

Jones, couldn't they have thought of
something better than that?

Oh, and what about me?

Do I retire to the hurry, or do I bring
in the drinks, utter greetings, and then

discreetly fade away?

You must take this seriously, my dear.

Oh, darling, can't I take it seriously
and still enjoy it just a little?

I think perhaps it would be better if
you didn't appear.

Oh, all right.

What about food? Will they want
something? Oh, no, there need be no

a meal.

A few sandwiches and some hot coffee in
a thermos jug. Yes, that'll do nicely.

The chocolate mousse I shall take up to
my bedroom to console me for being

excluded from the conference. Slowly,
sir.

Darling, nothing will go wrong. I won't
let it.

What about old Rowley?

Oh, he and Jeremy are dining at the
clubhouse with Hugo. They're going to

bridge afterwards, so they went back
till about midnight. And the Elgins are

out. Darling, you know they always go to
the cinema on Thursday. They won't be

home till about 11.

Good, that's all quite satisfactory. Sir
John and Mr... Jones.

Quite right, darling. They'll have left
long before then.

Right, well, I'd better have a quick
wash before setting off for Vineley

I'll go and make a sandwich.

Clarissa, you must remember about the
lights.

We make our own electricity here, not
like London.

Do you want to start, Richard, before
you go?

No, I think I'd better start.

You'll be hours too early.

It won't take you more than 20 minutes
to decide, though.

You never know. I might get a puncture
or something.

Ah, there you are, darling. Now, what
about Pippa? She's not likely to come

or barge in. Don't fuss, darling.

I'll go up to the schoolroom and we'll
have a feast together.

How very good you are to Pippa.

It's one of the things I'm most grateful
to you for.

So much misery.

Now everything's so different.

You really are. You go and see your Mr.
Jones.

Oh, what about the front door? Shall you
come in that way? Will I leave it

unlatched? No, no. I think we'd better
use the windows.

Right, dear, dear darling.

Yes, my dear. Bye.

Goodbye.

the body

It's you.

He's dead, isn't he?

He's quite dead.

I didn't mean to kill him. Quiet, Pippa,
quiet. I didn't mean to. Come on, sit

down. I didn't mean to.

I know, of course you didn't mean to.
Now, listen, Pippa, you've got to forget

all about this, do you hear?

Pippa, you must trust me and believe
what I'm telling you. Everything is

to be all right, but you must be brave
and do exactly what I'm going to tell

you. Now, will you do as I tell you?

Yes, Pippa. Right, well, now, I want you
to go upstairs and get into bed.

Yes, yes, I'll come out very soon, as
soon as I can.

In the morning, everything will seem
quite different.

There may be nothing to worry about.

But he is dead, isn't he? No, no, he may
not be, we'll see. Now, run along, do

as I tell you.

Supposing I were to come down into the
drawing room and find a dead body, what

would I do?

What am I going to do?

Three spades, four hearts, four no
trumps, pass.

Five diamonds, pass.

Six spades, double.

And I think they go down.

That's two tricks. Doubled, vulnerable,
that's 500.

Shall I let them make it?

No.

Oh, thank God you've come.

I tell you, what is all this?

Darlings, you've got to help me. Looks
like a bridge party.

Melodramatics. Now what do you want to
do, young woman?

Serious. Terribly serious.

You will help me, won't you? Of course
we'll help you. But what is all that?

You're up to something, Clarissa. What
is it? Found a body?

That's just it.

I have found a body.

What do you mean, you've found a body?

It's just as Jeremy said. I came in here
and I found a body.

I don't know what you're talking about.

I'm serious. It is there. Go and look.

Behind the sofa.

She's right.

It's Oliver Costello.

Yes. What were you doing here?

Well, he came here this evening to talk
about Pippa, just after you'd gone to

the club.

Pippa? What did he want with Pippa?
Well, they were threatening to take her

away. But all that doesn't matter now.
We've got to hurry. There's very little

time. Wait a moment. We must have the
fact clear.

What happened then?

Well, I told him he wasn't having her,
and he went away.

But he came back.

Obviously. But how? When? I don't know.
It's just as I said. I came in here, and

I found him.

Like that.

He's dead, wasn't he?

He'd gone ahead with something heavy and
sharp.

It's not going to be a very pleasant
business, but there's only one thing to

done. We must bring up the police.

Oh, no. You should have done it at once,
Clarissa. No, really, stop. But, my

dear girl, I... I'd run the police
myself if I had wanted to. I even

dialing, and then I said, I rang you up.

You haven't asked me why yet. Clarissa,
please leave all this to us. You haven't

begun to understand. I want you to help
me. You said you would if I was ever in

trouble. Oh, darling, you've got to help
me. What do you want us to do,

Clarissa? Get rid of the body. My dear
girl, don't talk nonsense. This is

murder. But that's the whole point. The
body mustn't be found in this house.

But, my dear girl, you don't know what
you're talking about.

You've been reading too many murder
mysteries.

In real life, you don't go monkeying
about moving dead bodies.

I have moved it already. I turned it
over to see if you were dead.

And then I saw I'd have to have help, so
I rang you up. And whilst I was waiting

for you, I made a plan.

Including the bridge tips?

Yes, that's going to be our alibi.

But what on earth? To the hard rubbers.
I'd imagined all the hands and put down

the scores on this marker.

You three must fill up the other markers
in your own handwriting, of course.

Mad, Chris, they're quite mad. I've
worked it out beautifully.

The body must be taken away from here.
It'll take two of you to do that. A dead

body's terribly unmanageable. I found
that out. So where the devil are we

to take it? The best place, I think,
would be Marsden Wood. That's two miles

away from here. You take the car to the
wood and leave it there. Then walk back

here. Do we...

Dump the body in the wood? No, leave it
in the car. It's his car, don't you see?

If anybody does happen to see you, well,
it's a dark night and they won't know

who you are, and you've got an alibi. We
have all four been playing bridge here.

Now, you wear gloves, of course, so as
not to get fingerprints on anything.

We've got them here already.

Your natural tongue of a crime leaves me
speechless.

Well, it all worked out, hasn't it?
Rather damn fool nonsense, anyway.

We must hurry. At nine o 'clock, Henry
and Mr Jones will be here.

Mr Jones?

I never realized what a terrible lot of
explaining one has to do in the murder.

I just thought I'd ask you to help me,
and you would.

Now, look, my dear.

Play acting is all very well.

But a dead man's a nasty, serious
business.

And monkeying about with it will land
you in a real mess.

You can't go carting bodies about at the
dead of night.

Jeremy. I'm gay.

I've a dead body or two. I'm going to
love.

Clarissa, you've got to be guided by me,
and there is Henry to consider, too.

But Henry, I am considering.

Something very important is happening
tonight.

Henry's gone to... to meet someone and
bring him back here.

Mr Jones?

It's a silly name, I know, but it's what
they're calling him. I can't tell you

about it because I promised I wouldn't
say a word to anybody, but I've got to

make you see that I am not being an
idiot and play -acting, as Hugo called

What sort of effect do you think it'll
have on Henry's career to walk in here

and find the police in charge of a
murder and the murder of that other man

just married his former wife? You're not
making all this up.

Nobody ever believes me when I'm
speaking the truth.

Yes, I'm sorry. As you see, it is a more
difficult problem than I thought. So,

you see, we have to get rid of the body.
Right. Do I take the body to the car or

the car to the body? Now, wait a minute.
We must hurry. Yes, I'm not sure this

plan of yours is the best one,
Christine. Now, if we could just delay

the body until tomorrow morning, that
would meet the case, I think. If we

moved it into the next room, that might
be just excusable. It's you I've got to

convince, isn't it?

Jeremy's ready enough and Hugo. It's
you.

Will you both go into the other room for
a while? I want to speak to Uncle Roly

and them.

I don't need to talk you into any
tomfoolery.

Good luck.

Now... Clutha, I love you, my dear, and
I will always love you dearly, but in

this case, the answer is no.

That man's body must be found in this
house. If it is, we shall all be

questioned, and Pippa won't be able to
stand it.

Pippa? She'll break down and confess.

Pippa?

Oh, my God.

She was terrified when he came back here
today.

I told her I wouldn't let her be taken
away from here, but I don't think she

believed me.

She told me she didn't mean to do it,
and that's true, I'm sure.

It was just panic.

He got hold of that stick and struck out
blindly.

What stick?

The one from the hall stand. It's in the
recess. I haven't touched it.

Where is Pepper now?

In bed. I gave her a sleeping pill. She
ought not to wake till morning.

Tomorrow I'll take her up to London. My
old nanny will look after her.

You win, my dear. I apologise. That
child must not be allowed to play the

Get the others.

Hugo! Jeremy!

Servants.

That butler of yours doesn't lock up
very carefully.

The window in the library was left open.

Anyway, I've closed it now.

Well, I'm converted.

Well done.

No time to lose. Go.

And then, uh, a torch.

How does this thing open? I like this
place.

Let me show you.

Heavy enough, weighted in the head.

All the same, I shouldn't have
thought... You shouldn't have thought

Well, I should have thought it was
something with a sharper edge, metal of

kind. You mean like a... a goddamn
chopper, do you mean? That stick looks

murderous enough to me.

It's easy to crack a man's head open
with that. Yeah, but don't say... Hugo,

burn this in the kitchen fire, and
Warren and I will get the body to the

on.

What's that?

It's the front doorbell.

Too early for Henry and Mr Jones.

It must be for John.

What, you mean the Foreign Secretary?

Yes. Yes, well, you've got to do
something.

Clive, go and answer the door. Use what
delaying tactics you can.

Now then, I think we'd better...

We'd better get the body in there, and
later on, when they're having the powwow

in here, we'll get him out through the
library. Good idea, Hans.

Now then,

gloves.

Gloves there.

Bridge.

Come along, Hugo.

Come along, Hugo.

Please, Uncle Rowley.

I'm sorry to intrude, gentlemen, but
we've received information that there's

been a murder committed here.

Isn't it extraordinary?

What? A murder? We had a telephone call
at the police station. Good evening, Mr

Birch. Good evening, Inspector.

I'm afraid somebody has been hoaxing
you, Inspector.

We've been playing bridge here all
evening.

Who did they say had been murdered?

No names were mentioned. The caller
simply said that a man had been murdered

Copleston Court and could we come along
immediately.

They rang off before any additional
information could be obtained.

It must have been a hoax. What a wicked
thing to do.

Well, then, according to you, nothing
out of the ordinary has happened here

evening. Oh, perhaps I'd better have a
word with Mr. Hales from Brown. Oh, he's

not here. I don't expect him back until
late tonight. Who is there in the house?

Sir Roland Ellerhay, Mr. Jeremy
Warrender, Mr. Burke, whom you know, and

little stepdaughter. She's in bed in her
sleep.

What about servants?

Oh, it's their night out. They're at the
pictures in Maidstone. I see.

Would you be wanting anything, madam?

I thought you were at the pictures,
Elgin. We returned almost immediately,

madam. My wife wasn't feeling well.

Gastric trouble.

Is anything wrong?

What's your name?

Elgin. I'm sure I have been... Someone
rang up the station and said that a

murder had been committed here.

A murder? What do you know about that?
Nothing. Nothing at all. Wasn't you who

rang up? Oh, no, indeed.

You came in by the back way, I suppose?

Yes, sir.

Notice anything unusual?

Well, now I think of it, there was a
strange car standing near the stable.

Strange car?

Yes, I wondered at the time whose it
might be. It seemed a curious place to

leave it. Anybody in it? Not as far as I
could see, sir.

Oh, we'd better take a look at it.
Jones?

Jones? I beg your pardon?

Oh, nothing.

Just I didn't think he looked very
Welsh.

Well, it seems that someone who's
unaccounted for called here this

weren't expecting anyone?

No, no. You see, we didn't want anyone.
We were just the four of us for Bridge.

Ah, I'm very fond of the game of Bridge
myself.

Oh, are you?

You haven't been here very long, have
you, Mrs. Holton -Brown? No, no, about

weeks. And there's been no funny
business of any kind since you've been

What exactly do you mean by funny
business, Inspector?

Well, it's rather a curious story. This
house was owned by Mr. Sellam.

The antique dealer. He died six months
ago.

Oh, yes. He had some kind of accident,
didn't he? That's right. Fell

pitched on his head.

Accidental death they brought in. Might
have been that, might not.

You mean somebody might have pushed him?

That, or else somebody gave him a crack
on the head and arranged for him to look

right at the foot of the stairs.

These stairs here? No, at the shop.

No evidence, of course, but he was
rather a dark horse, Mr. Sellam.

In what way?

Oh, once or twice he had a couple of
things to explain, as you might say,

The drug investor came down once and had
a few words with him, but it was all

only suspicion.

Officially, that is to say? That's
right, sir, officially.

Whereas un -officially? I'm afraid we
can't mention that, sir.

But there was one rather curious
circumstance.

There was an unfinished letter found on
Mr. Sellam's desk in which he mentioned

that he'd come into possession of
something which he described as an

unparalleled rarity, which is guaranteed
wasn't a forgery and...

He was asking £14 ,000 for it.

£14 ,000?

That's a great deal of money.

I wonder what it could have been.

Jewellery, I suppose, except the word
forgery.

A picture, perhaps?

Yes. There was nothing in the shop worth
such a sum of money. The insurance

inventory made that clear.

Mr Sullen's partner was a woman who had
a business of her own in London and she

wrote and said she couldn't be of any
help.

You mean Sullen could have been murdered
and the article, whatever it was,

stolen? Possibly.

But then again, the would -be thief
mayn't have been able to find it.

Why do you think that, Inspector?

Because the shop's been broken into
twice since then. Broken into and

Why are you telling us all this,
Inspector?

Because, Mrs. Hilton -Brown, it occurred
to me that whatever was hidden away by

Stellan may have been hidden here and
not at the shop in Maidstone.

And that's why I asked you if anything
peculiar had come to your notice.

Well, somebody...

rang up today and asked to speak to me.
And when I got to the phone, whoever it

was just hung up. In a way, that's
rather odd.

Oh, yes, and that man who came the other
day to buy some furniture, he was a

horsey sort of man in a check suit. He
wanted to buy that desk.

I told him, of course, that it wasn't
ours to sell, but he simply didn't

me. He offered a very large sum, far
more than it's worth. Interesting.

These things sometimes have a secret
drawer.

Yes, this one has, but there's nothing
very exciting in it, only some old

autographs.

Yes, Jones.

I've examined the car, sir.

There's a pair of gloves on the driving
seat, registration book in the side

pocket.

Oliver Costello, 27, Morgan Mansions,
SW3.

Was a man called Costello here this
evening?

Yes, he was here at about half past six.

Friend of yours?

No. No, I wouldn't call him a friend.

I had met him once or twice.

It's, um... Well, perhaps I had better
explain, Inspector.

It concerns the first Mrs. Harrison
-Brown. There was a divorce just over a

ago, and recently she married Oliver
Costello. I see.

And, uh, Mr. Costello came here this
evening. Why? By appointment?

Oh, no, no. As a matter of fact, when
Miranda left, she took with her one or

things that weren't really hers.

Oliver happened to be in this part of
the world, and he just dropped in to

return them. What kind of things?

Oh, nothing very important.

This was one of them. It belonged to my
husband's mother.

He valued it for sentimental reasons.

How long did Mr Costello remain?

Oh, a very short time. He said he was in
a hurry.

About ten minutes.

And your interview was quite amicable?

Oh, yes, yes. I thought it was very kind
of him to look in to return the things.

Did he mention where he was going when
he left here?

No. Oh, actually, he went out by that
window.

As a matter of fact, my lady gardener,
Miss Peake, was here, and she offered to

show him out through the garden. Your
gardener? Does she live on the premises?

Yes, she lives in the cottage. I think
I'd better have a word with her. Jones?

Oh, there is a telephone connection
through to the cottage. Shall I get it

you, Inspector?

Well, if you'd be so kind, Mrs. Hilson
-Brown. Not at all.

I don't suppose she'll have gone to bed
yet.

Oh, hello, Miss Peake. This is Mrs.
Hilson -Brown.

Yes.

Something rather important has happened.
I wonder if you could come over for a

moment.

Oh, yes, that will be all right, thank
you.

She's been washing her hair, but she'll
dress and come right over.

The question is, why is Oliver
Costello's car still here, and where is

Costello? Apparently, Miss Peake was the
last person to see him. He left, you

say, by that window.

Did you lock it after him?

No. Oh.

I don't think so. So he may have
returned that way.

I think, with your permission, Mrs.
Hales from Brown, I'd like to search the

house. Oh, of course.

Well, you've seen this room.

Nobody could be hidden here.

Through here is the library.

Would you like to go in there? Oh, thank
you. Joan.

Just be where that door leads to, Joan.

Right you are, sir.

Just through to the hall, sir.

Right.

Now we'll search the rest of the house.

Oh, I'll come with you, if you don't
mind, in case my stepdaughter should

up and be frightened.

Not that I think she will.

It's extraordinary how deeply children
sleep.

Have you gotten a children inspector?

Boy and a girl.

Oh, isn't that nice?

Mr. Jones?

If you ask me, there's only one thing to
do.

Come clean. Own up before it is too
late. Derek, we can't do that.

It would be too unfair to Clarissa.
We'll get her in a far worse mess if we

carry on like this. I mean, how are we
going to get rid of the body?

The police will impound the fellow's
car.

We'll use mine.

I don't like it. I don't like it at all.
I mean, I'm a local J .P.

Now, what do you think, Brodie? I mean,
you've got a good little head.

Personally, I'm committed to the
enterprise. I don't understand.

Well, take it on trust, Hugo, if you
will. Now, listen.

Once the police are satisfied that
Oliver Costello is not in this house,

go away and look elsewhere.

I don't see why suspicion should attach
itself to any of us. We're all

respectable people.

Hugh goes to J .P., Henry's in the
Foreign Office. And I take it that

a blameless and even distinguished
career.

All right.

We're bracing it out.

I'll do something about that straight
away. No time. They'll be back in a

minute, safer where it is.

I must say, Clarissa is a marvel.

Doesn't turn her hair. She's got that
police inspector eating out of her hand.

Oh, that'll be... Miss Peake, better go
and let her in.

Good evening, Miss Peake. Good evening,
Mr. Warren.

I think you'd better come in here.

Oh.

I say, what is all this?

Mrs. Hilton, if I was most mysterious on
the phone, has anything happened? I'm

sorry you even brought it out like this,
Miss Peake. Won't you sit down? The

fact is, we've got the police here.

The police?

Has there been a... Burberry?

Well, no, not exactly.

Oh, Inspector.

This is Mr. Blake.

Good evening, Miss Pitt. Oh, good
evening, Inspector. I was just asking

Roman. Has there been a burberry or
what?

We received a rather peculiar telephone
call, and we think you could probably

clear up the matter for us. It concerns
a Mr. Oliver Costello.

Never heard of him?

Well, he was here this evening visiting
Mrs. Halesham -Brown, and I believe you

showed him out through the garden.

Oh, that man. Oh, yes, I believe Mrs.
Halesham -Brown did mention his name.

about him?

I'd like you to tell me exactly what
happened and when you last saw him.

Well, I showed him out through that
window and I asked him if he wanted a

and he said no, he'd come in his car.

That was the last you saw of him? Yes,
why?

His car's still here.

We received a telephone call at 7 .49
saying a man had been murdered at

Coppelson Court.

Murdered? Here?

Ridiculous. That's what everyone seems
to think. Well, of course.

I know there's all these maniacs about
attacking women, but you say a man was

murdered. You didn't hear a car this
evening?

Well, only Mr. Halesham Brown.

Mr. Halesham Brown? I thought he wasn't
expected back until late.

Oh, my husband came home, but he went
out again almost immediately.

Oh, is that so? Exactly when did he come
back?

Oh, let me see.

About... Oh, it was about a quarter of
an hour before I went off duty.

Yes, I work a lot of overtime,
Inspector. I'll be keen on a job, that's

say. Yes, it was about quarter past
seven when Mr. Heldsham Brown got in.

Shortly after Mr.

Costello left.

They probably passed each other.

Oh.

You mean he may have come back to see
Mr. Heldsham Brown?

Oliver definitely didn't come back to
the house. Ah, but you can't be sure of

that, Mrs. Heldsham Brown. I mean, he
might have got through that window

you knowing it.

Golly. You don't suppose he murdered Mr.
Harrison Brown?

I say, I am sorry. Of course he didn't
murder Henry.

Where did your husband go when he left
here?

I've no idea.

Well, doesn't he usually say where he's
going?

Oh, I never ask questions. I always
think it must be so boring for a man if

wife is always asking him questions.

Stupid of me. If that man's car's still
here, he must be the one who's been

murdered. Oh, but, Miss Peake, we have
no reason to believe that anybody's been

murdered. In fact, the inspector thinks
it was all some silly hoax. Oh, that

car. I do think that car's very
suspicious, you know.

Have you looked about for a body? The
inspector has already searched the

I'm sure those Eldins have something to
do with it. I've had my suspicions of

them for a long time.

Have you searched their quarters?

Now, listen.

Supposing that man, Mr. Costello,
recognized Elgin as a man with a

record. He might decide to come back and
warn Mrs. Hale from Brown, and Elgin

assaulted him.

Then, of course, he'd have to get rid of
the body somewhere quickly so that he

could dispose of it later in the night.

Now... Where?

Where do you suppose he'd hide the body?

I wonder.

Behind the curtains? Oh, really, Miss
Peake, there isn't anybody hidden behind

any of the curtains, and I'm sure Elgin
would never murder anybody. It's quite

ridiculous. Oh, but you're so trusting,
Mrs. Heldchen -Brown. When you're my

age, you realise that people are often
not quite what they seem.

Where would a man like Elgin hide the
body?

Oh, well, of course, there's that
cupboard place between here and the

I mean, you've looked there, I suppose.
The inspector has looked both here and

in the library.

Just what do you mean by that cupboard
place, Miss Peake? Oh, it's a wonderful

place when you're playing sardines. You
never dream it was there. I'll show you.

No, there isn't anybody there now. I
know because I went through to the

that way just now.

Oh, well, in that case... Just show me
all the same, I'd like to see.

Well, it was a door originally.

It matched that one over there.

I'll show you.

out here and the door swings open.

You see?

Jones?

So there was a murder here tonight.

Yes, we'll need photographs.

Yes, the whole bag of tricks.

Better not move the body till they've
taken the photographs.

Not that that will tell us anything. He
wasn't killed there.

He was put there afterwards.

You can see where his feet have dragged.

How are you feeling?

Better. I might be as well to close the
bookcase door. We don't want any more

hysteria. Yes, indeed, sir.

Inspector. Mrs. Harrison -Brown has had
a very nasty shock. I think she ought to

go to her room and lie down.

Certainly, sir.

In a moment or two, I'd just like to ask
her a few questions first.

Oh, she's not fit to be questioned. No,
I'm all right, really, I am.

Well, I think it's wise enough.

Oh, dear Uncle Rowley, he's so sweet to
me always.

Yes, I can see that.

Do ask me anything you want to,
Inspector, though actually I can't help

afraid, because I just don't know
anything at all.

Would you join the other gentleman,
please, sir?

Well, I think I'd better... I'll call
you if it should be necessary.

Dear Uncle Rowley, you always want to
spare me everything.

Now, Mrs Hales from Brown, you had no
idea that there was a body in that

No, of course not.

Oh, it's horrible, quite horrible.

When we were searching this room just
now, why didn't you draw our attention

that recess?

Do you know, the thought never struck
me. You see, we never used it, so it

came into my head. But you said you'd
just been through that way into the

library. Oh, no, I think you must have
misunderstood me. What I meant was that

door. I certainly misunderstood you.

Now, you've no idea when Oliver Costello
came back here, or what he came for?

I simply can't imagine.

Perhaps to see your husband?

Oh, no, I'm sure he didn't. You see,
Henry and he never liked each other. Oh,

had there been a quarrel between them?

Oh, no, no, no, no, they hadn't
quarrelled. It was just that Henry

wore the wrong shoes.

You know how odd men are.

He didn't come back here to see you?

Me? Oh, no, I'm sure he didn't.

Is there anybody else in the house he
might have wanted to see?

I can't think of... Who? I mean, who is
there?

Oliver Costello comes here, returns the
articles which the first Mrs. Hales and

Brown had taken away, says goodbye, then
he comes back here, presumably through

that window, he's killed, his body's
pushed into that recess, all in the

of about ten, twenty minutes, and nobody
hears anything.

I know, it's extraordinary, isn't it?
Are you sure you didn't hear anything?

Quite sure.

It really is fantastic.

Almost too fantastic.

That's all, Mrs Hobson -Brown.

Not that way.

Oh, I think, really, I'd rather join the
others. Later.

What about the other woman, Miss Peake?

I put her on the spare room bed, sir.

Terrible time I had with her.

Laughing and crying, something terrible
she was, sir.

Doesn't matter if Mrs HB talks to her,
but not to those three there.

You lock the door from the library into
the hall. Oh, yes, sir. I've got the key

here. Good.

Now, we'll have them in one at a time.
Oh, but first I'd like to speak to that

butler chap. Elgin.

Yes. Call him in. I've got a feeling he
knows something. Yes, indeed, sir.

Elgin.

Come you in here, please.

Sit down, Elgin.

You started off with the pictures this
evening, but you came back.

Why was that?

I've told you before, sir. My wife
wasn't feeling very well.

It was you who let Costello into the
house when he came this evening.

Yes, sir. Why didn't you tell us at once
that it was his car outside?

Because I didn't know, sir.

Mr. Costello didn't drive up to the
front door. I didn't know that he'd come

a car.

Rather peculiar, eh?

Yes, sir.

I expect he had his reasons.

Just what do you mean by that? Nothing,
sir.

Nothing at all.

Ever seen this man Costello before?

Never, sir.

How long have you been with Mrs.
Herschel Brown?

Six weeks, sir.

Before that?

I'd, uh... I'd been having a little
rest.

A rest?

You realize that in a case like this,
your references will have to be looked

into very carefully.

Would that be all, sir?

I wouldn't wish to deceive you, sir. It
wasn't anything really wrong, you see.

Well... The original references having
got torn, I couldn't quite remember the

wording. So you wrote them yourself.

That's what it comes to. Well, I didn't
mean any harm. I've got my living to

earn. At the moment, I'm not interested
in fake references.

I want to know what happened here
tonight and what you know about Oliver

Costello. Never set eyes on him before.

I have a good idea why he came here.

Oh? Why?

Blackmail. He had something on her.

On Mrs Halesham Brown? Yes. I came in
here to ask if anything was wanted, and

heard her say, but that's blackmail, and
I'll not submit to it.

A very unpleasant business, I'm afraid,
Mr Birch.

What have you to say about it?

Nothing. Nothing? Well, what do you
expect me to say? The blinking woman

open the blinking cupboard, and out
falls the blinking corpse.

It took my breath away.

I haven't got over it yet.

It's no good asking me anything, you
know, because I don't know anything.

That's your statement, is it, sir? You
know nothing at all about it. Well, I

didn't kill the fellow. I didn't even
know him. You didn't know him, but

heard of him?

Well, I heard he was a master bit of
goods. In what kind of way?

Well, the kind of fellow that women like
and men have no use for.

You've no idea why he should come back
to the house a second time this evening?

No, not a clue.

Anything between him and the present
Mrs. Hale from Brown, do you think?

Clarissa? Good God, no.

Clarissa's got a lot of sense.

She wouldn't look twice at a fellow like
that.

So, uh, you can't help us.

Sorry, but there it is.

You had no idea that there was a body
concealed in that recess?

Of course not.

Thank you, sir.

What? That's all.

Thank you, sir.

Oh, Mr. Burt.

This way, please.

He was a mine of information, wasn't he?

Mind you, it's not very nice for a J .P.
to be mixed up in a murder.

Sit down.

Your name?

Jeremy Warrender. Address?

340 Broad Street and 34 Grosvenor
Square.

Country address, Heppleston, Wiltshire.

A gentleman of independent means.

No, I'm private secretary to Sir Lazarus
Stein.

Those are his addresses.

How long have you been with him?

About a year.

Did you, uh...

Know this man, Oliver Costello?

Heard of him till tonight.

You didn't meet him when he came to the
house earlier this evening?

No, I'd gone over to the golf club with
the others.

We were dining there, you see.

It was the servant's night out, and Mr.
Birch asked us if we'd dine with him at

the club.

Was Mrs. Halesham -Brown asked, too? No.

She could have come if she'd liked.

She was asked, then, and she refused?

No.

No, what I mean is, well, Halesham
-Brown is usually quite tired when he

down here in the evenings.

and so Clarissa said that they'd just
have a scratch meal here, if useful. So

Mrs. Halesham -Brown expected her
husband to dine here. She didn't expect

go out again as soon as he came in.

Well, I really don't know.

No, I believe she did say that he was
going to be out this evening.

Seems odd, then, that Mrs. Halesham
-Brown should not have come out to the

instead of remaining here to dine all by
herself.

Well, it was the kid.

Clarissa wouldn't like to go out to
leave the kid all by herself in the hut.

Or perhaps she was making plans to
receive a visitor of her own.

I say, that's a rotten thing to say.

And it isn't true.

Oliver Costello came here to meet
someone.

The surgeons were out. Miss Peake has
her own cottage.

There really is no one else he could
have come here to meet except Mrs.

-Brown. All I can say is you asked her.

I have asked her.

Then what did she say?

Just what you said, Mr. Warrender.

There you are, then.

Now, tell me...

How you all happened to come back here
from the club.

Was that the original plan?

Yes. I mean, no.

Which do you mean, sir? Well, it was
like this. We all went over to the club,

Roland and old Hugo went straight into
the dining room, and I came in a bit

later. It's all cold buffet, you know.

I'd been knocking balls about till it
got dark, and then someone said, Bridge.

And I said, Well, why don't we come back
and play here?

So we did.

I see. So it was your idea.

I don't remember who suggested it first.

Hugo Birch, I think.

And you arrived back here when?

I can't say exactly. Probably left the
clubhouse just a bit before eight. And

what, it's about five minutes' walk?

Just about. The golf course adjoins this
garden.

And then you played bridge?

Yes. That must have been about 20
minutes before my arrival. Surely you

time to complete two rubbers of bridge
and start a third?

What?

Oh, no.

No, that first rubber must have been
from yesterday's score.

Only one person seems to have scored.

Yes, I'm afraid we're all a bit lazy
about scoring.

We left it to Clarissa.

Did you know about the passageway
between this room and the library?

No, no, I had no idea.

Wonderful bit of camouflage, isn't it?
You'd never guess.

Consequently, you couldn't know that
there was a body concealed there, could

you? You could have knocked me over with
a feather, as the saying goes.

Absolute blood and thunder melodrama.

Couldn't believe my eyes.

These are your gloves, Mr. Warrender.
No.

I mean, yes.

You were wearing them when you came back
from the golf club.

Yes. There's a bit of a nip in the air
this evening.

I think you're mistaken.

These have Mr. Halesham Brown's initials
inside them.

Funny. I've got a pair just the same.
These, perhaps.

Ah, well, you don't catch me out a
second time.

After all, one pair of gloves looks
pretty much like another. Three pairs of

gloves. All with Halesham Brown's
initials inside them.

Curious.

It is his house, after all. The only
interesting thing about them is that you

thought one pair might have been yours,
whereas I think your gloves are just

sticking out of your pocket now.

No, the other pocket.

Here we are. Stein, Sir Lazarus.

Chairman. Recreations for latterly golf
fishing.

What have you got there?

Oh, it's just a card, sir. I found it
under the sofa there. It's a very

interesting card.

Here, wait a minute.

Red. Same pack.

Oh, well.

No ace of spades.

Now, that's very remarkable, don't you
think, Jones?

Oh, yes, sir. It's very remarkable
indeed.

As we were finishing dinner at the golf
club, Mrs. Harrison Brown rang up and

suggested that, as her husband had had
unexpectedly to go out, we three should

come back here and make up a four -foot
bridge.

We did that. About 20 minutes after we
had started playing, you arrived,

Inspector.

The rest you know.

That's not quite Mr. Warrander's account
of the matter.

Oh, really?

He said that the suggestion to play
bridge came from one of you three. Mr.

he thought.

Obviously, Warrander came back into the
dining room rather late. He didn't

realize that Mrs. Herson -Brown had rung
up.

The dead man, Oliver Costello, came to
this house with some particular object

mind. Do you agree to that, sir? Oh,
absolutely.

He came back here to return certain
objects which the first Mrs. Hales from

Brown had taken away in error. That may
have been his excuse.

He came, perhaps, to see a particular
person.

May have been Mr. Warrender or Mr.
Birch. If he wanted to see Mr. Birch,

he would have gone to Birch's house.

So, that leaves us with a choice of four
people. You, Mr. Warrender, Mr. and

Mrs. Hales from Brown.

Now, how well did you know Oliver
Costello?

Oh, hardly at all.

I met him once or twice, that's all.
Where did you meet him?

Twice at the Hesham Brands in London,
and once, I believe, in a restaurant.

But you had no particular reason for
wishing to murder him.

Is that an accusation, Inspector?

No, Sir Rowland.

I'd call it more of an elimination.

I don't think you have any motive for
doing away with Oliver Costello.

So that leaves three people. We'll take
Mr Warrender. How well do you know him?

Not at all. I met him here for the first
time two days ago.

I know nothing about him, Inspector, but
I should have said an unlikely

murderer. So much for Mr. Warlander.
That brings me to my next question.

How well do I know Henry Herschel Brown
and Mrs. Herschel Brown?

Henry Herschel Brown I know very well
indeed.

He's an old friend.

Of Clarissa, I know all there is to
know.

She is my ward, Inspector, and
inexpressibly dear to me.

Yes, I think that answer makes certain
things very clear.

Does it indeed?

Why did you leave the club this evening?
Why did you come back here and pretend

to play bridge?

Pretend?

This card was found on the other side of
the room under the sofa.

I can hardly believe that you could have
played two rubbers of bridge and

started a third with a pack of 51 cards
and the ace of spades missing.

Yes, perhaps that is a little difficult
to believe. I also think that three

pairs of Mr. Halesham Brown's gloves
need a certain amount of explanation.

I'm afraid you'll get no explanation
from me, Inspector.

No, sir. I take it that you're out to do
your best for a certain lady.

But it's no good, sir.

Mrs. Halesham Brown knew the body was in
that recess.

Whether she dragged it there herself or
whether you helped her, I don't know,

but she knew.

Now... I suggest Oliver Costello came to
this house to meet Mrs. Halesham Brown

and to obtain money from her by threats.

Threats? Threats of what?

That'll come out, no doubt.

Mrs. Halesham Brown's young, attractive,
gay.

This Mr. Costello was attractive to the
ladies, they say.

Now, uh, Mrs. Halesham Brown's newly
married and... Inspector, I think I must

put you right on certain matters.

Henry Halesham Brown's first marriage
was unfortunate.

His wife, Miranda, was a beautiful
woman, but unstable and neurotic.

Her health and disposition finally
degenerated to such a degree that her

daughter had to be taken away to a
nursing home.

It seemed that she had become a drug
addict.

Now, how she obtained those drugs was
never found out, but it was generally

believed that they were supplied to her
by this man, Oliver Costello.

She became infatuated with him and
finally ran away with him.

Henry Hesham Brown allowed her to
divorce him. He is somewhat old

his views.

He has now found peace and happiness in
his marriage with Clarissa.

And I can assure you, Inspector, that
there are no guilty secrets in

life. There is nothing, I can swear,
with which Oliver Costello could

threaten her.

Now, don't you think, Inspector, that
you may be on the wrong track?

Why are you so certain that it was a
person that Costello came here to see?

Why could it not have been a place?

What do you mean, sir?

Well, you mentioned that the late Mr.
Sellon may have been involved with

Isn't there a possible link there?

Drugs, Sellon, Sellon's house?

Supposing Oliver Costello wanted
something in this house.

In that desk, perhaps.

Now, supposing that someone followed him
down here, and that that someone...

struck him down there by that desk.

There's a great deal of supposition in
what you say.

A very reasonable hypothesis, I think.
The hypothesis being that this someone

knew the body was in the recess.

Exactly. That would mean someone who
knew about the recess.

Ah, someone who knew about it in shell
and time.

That's all very well, sir, but it
doesn't explain one thing.

Oh, really? What is that?

Mrs. Hales from Brown knew the body was
in that recess.

She tried to prevent us looking there.

She knew.

Inspector, will you allow me to speak to
my ward?

Only in my presence, sir.

That will do.

Jones?

We are very much in your hands,
Inspector.

I will ask you to make what allowances
you can.

Come in, please, Mrs. Harrison -Brown.

There is some idea.

Will you do what I ask you?

Tell the inspector the truth.

The truth? The truth is the only thing
to do.

Sit down, Mrs. Harrison -Brown.

I'm sorry.

I'm terribly sorry I told you all those
lies. I didn't mean to.

One gets into things, if you know what I
mean. I can't say that I do know.

Now, please give us the facts.

Well, it's all quite simple, really. You
see, Oliver left, then Henry came home.

Then he went off again in the car.

Then I came in here with the sandwiches.

Sandwiches? Yes, you see, my husband's
bringing home a very important delegate

from abroad.

Who is this delegate?

Mr Jones.

I put the sandwiches down there, and
then I took a book and put it back on

bookshelf. And then I practically fell
over it.

You fell over the body?

Yes, it was there behind the sofa.

I looked to see if he was dead, and he
was.

So I rang up the golf club and I asked
Sir Roland, Mr Birch and Jeremy

to come over.

Didn't occur to you to telephone the
police?

Oh, it occurred to me, yes, but then...
Well, I didn't. You didn't? Why not?

Well, I didn't think it would be very
nice for my husband.

You see, people in the Foreign Office
like everything very quiet, not

noticeable. You must admit that murders
are noticeable.

Quite so.

I'm so glad you understand.

I mean, he was quite dead because I felt
his pulse.

And I thought he might just as well be
dead in Marsden Wood as in our drawing

room. Marsden Wood? Where's Marsden Wood
come into it?

Oh, that's where I was thinking of
putting him.

You realise the seriousness of what
you're saying?

Oh, yes, I do, and I'm telling you the
truth.

So, you see, I rang up the club and they
all came over.

And you persuaded them to hide the body
in the recess?

Oh, no, that came later.

My plan was that they should take the
body in Oliver's car to Marsden Wood.

And they agreed?

They agreed.

Frankly, Mrs. Halesham -Brown, I don't
believe a word of it.

I knew you wouldn't believe me if I told
you the truth. I can see only one

reason why those three men should agree
to lie. If they believed or knew that

you'd killed him.

Oh, but I had no reason for killing him.
Absolutely no reason.

I knew you'd react this way. That's
why... That's why what?

Oh, dear.

I thought I was being so clever.

What really happened here tonight?

Well, it all started, as I explained.

I said goodbye to Oliver, and he went
off with Miss Peake.

Then my husband came home, explaining
that he'd have to go out again almost

immediately.

And it was just as I was shutting the
front door that I suddenly began to feel

nervous. Nervous? Why?

Well, it occurred to me that I'd never
been alone in the house at night.

Well? Well, I told myself not to be so
silly, but I still kept thinking I heard

a door shutting somewhere.

Footsteps in my bedroom.

So I thought I'd better do something.

Yes? Well, I went into the kitchen to
make the sandwiches for Henry and Mr

Jones. Then I really heard something.

Where? In this room.

I knew then that this time I wasn't
imagining it. I heard drawers being

open and shut.

Then I suddenly remembered.

The window in here wasn't locked.
Someone had come in that way.

Well, go on, Mrs Holston -Brown. Well, I
was petrified I didn't know what to do,

so then I thought of a plan.

Yes? I went to the hall stand and I took
out the heaviest stick I could find.

I went into the library. I didn't turn
on the light.

I felt my way across the room to that
recess.

I opened it very gently and I slipped
inside.

Unless you knew about it, you'd never
dream there was a door just there. No,

certainly wouldn't. Well, I eased the
catch open, but then my fingers slipped.

The door swung right open and hit
against the chair.

A man who was standing by the desk
straightened up. I saw something bright

shining in his hand. I thought it was a
revolver. I was petrified. I thought he

was going to shoot me. So I hit out at
him with a stick with all my might and

fell.

Oh.

Could I have a bit of brandy, please?
Oh, yes. Yes, of course.

Thank you.

Do you feel...

Able to continue, Mrs. Hales from Brown.
Yes, thank you. You're very kind.

The man just lay there.

He didn't move.

I turned the light on and I saw then
that it was Oliver Costello. And he was

dead. Oh, it was horrible.

I was so frightened. I rang up the golf
club. I wanted my guardian.

I begged him to come over. And they all
did.

And then I asked them to help me to take
the body away somewhere.

Why? Because I was a coward, a miserable
coward. I was frightened of the

publicity, of having to go to a police
court, and I thought it would be so bad

for my husband and for his career, and I
just felt I couldn't go through with

it. Perhaps because the dead man had a
short while before attempted to

you.

Blackmail me? Oh, that's nonsense.

There's nothing anybody could blackmail
me about.

Elgin the butler overheard a mention of
blackmail. I don't believe he had

anything of the kind.

If you ask me, he's just making the
whole thing up. Oh, come now, Mrs.

-Brown. Are you deliberately telling me
that the word blackmail was never used?

I swear it wasn't.

I... Oh.

Of course, how silly. That was it. You
remember it?

Oh, well, it was nothing, really.

It was just that Oliver was saying
something about the rent of furnished

being absurdly high. And I said, we'd
been amazingly lucky and we were only

paying four guineas a week for this. And
he said...

Clarissa, I can hardly believe it.
What's your pull? It must be blackmail.

laughed and said, that's it, blackmail.
I'm sorry, Mrs. Halston -Brown, but I

really can't believe that.

Can't believe what?

That you're only paying four guineas a
week furnished here.

You really are the most unbelieving man
I've ever met.

Most things I can't prove, but this one
I can.

And this time I'm going to show you.

Here it is.

Oh, no, it isn't.

Ah, here we are.

You see?

The agreement for a furnished tenancy,
four guineas a week.

Well, I'm blessed.

It's extraordinary.

Well, I apologise, Mrs Hales from Brown,
but it really is extremely odd.

Why? Well...

It so happens that a lady and gentleman
came down here with orders to view this

house, and the lady happened to lose a
very valuable brooch. She called in at

the police station to give particulars,
and she happened to mention this house.

She said they were asking an absurd
price for it. She thought 18 guineas a

for a house right in the country and
miles away from anywhere was ridiculous.

I agreed with her.

Yes, that is extraordinary.

Oh, I understand why you were sceptical,
but perhaps now you'll believe some of

the other things I told you.

I'm not doubting your final story, Mrs.
Halesham -Brown. We usually know the

truth when we hear it.

But what I can't understand is who
telephoned the police.

Oh, yes, I'd forgotten that.

It clearly wasn't you, and it wouldn't
be any of the three gentlemen.

Elgin. Miss Peake.

No, not Miss Peake. She didn't know the
body was there. Yes, I wonder.

Why, when the body was discovered, she
had hysterics. Oh, anyone can have

hysterics.

Anyway, she doesn't live here. She has
her own cottage.

She could have been in the house. She
has keys to all the doors.

It seems to me more like Elgin who
telephoned.

You won't send me to prison, will you?

It's a good job you changed your story
in time and told the truth, madam.

I couldn't give away any longer.

Is it all right, Inspector? Do you
understand?

Rowley, I've told the Inspector
everything.

How I thought it was a burglar, and I
hit him on the head.

And then I got in a dreadful flap, so I
rang you up and I asked you to help me.

And I begged and begged you, and at last
you gave in. I see now how wrong of me

it was, but at the time I was just
scared stiff, and I thought it would be

cozier for me and Henry and even Miranda
if Oliver's body was found in Marsden

Wood. What have you been saying?

Mrs. Hales and Brown has made a very
full statement, sir.

So it seems.

It'll lead to far less trouble in the
end.

Now, Mrs Hosenbrand, I shan't ask you to
go into the recess while the body's

there, but I'd like you to show me
exactly where the man was standing when

came through that way.

Oh, yes.

Well, he was, um... No, he was standing
like this.

I see.

Right. Jones?

And then the door opened, and you came
through that way, and then...

Where's the bobby?

Sucks to you.

I'm really very sorry.

Really, Inspector Lord. Bringing me all
this way on a wild goose chase.

But I can assure you, Doctor, we did
have a body. The Inspector's right,

We did have a body.

Well, I'm not waiting any more time.

You'll hear more about this, Inspector
Lord.

Now then, Elgin, I know nothing about
it, sir, I assure you, nothing at all.

Who can have spitted it away?

Do you think Jeremy managed it somehow?

Well, I don't see how he could have done
it. They didn't allow anyone to go back

into the library, and the door from the
library to the hall was shut.

I say, Pepper's touch to you was a last
straw, wasn't it?

Still, it does tell us one thing.

Costello had opened that secret drawer.

Theresa, why didn't you tell the
inspector the truth?

Oh, I did, except for the part about
Pepper. He didn't believe me.

Why did you have to tell him all that
nonsense?

Well, it seemed to me the most likely
thing the inspector would believe.

And he has believed me. It's a nice mess
you're in now, aren't you?

Manslaughter for all we know.

Self -defense. The sickness around here
and there.

Now it seems they've gone and lost the
body.

Damn funny, I call it. It's fantastic.

The whole thing's fantastic.

Who rang up the police and said there'd
been a murder here?

Elgin. That peak woman. But why? It
doesn't make sense.

It goes clear.

No bobbies about.

They seem to be swarming all over the
place. They've fled from the house and

grounds. What for?

The body. It's gone.

I see.

Disappearing body, eh?

Are you feeling better, Miss Peake?

Oh, yes.

Yes, I'm all right. Pretty tough,
really, you know. Just turn me over for

moment, finding that body, I must admit.

I wondered if perhaps you knew it was
there.

Who, me? Yes, you.

But it doesn't make sense.

Why take the body away?

We all know there's a body there. We
know its identity and everything.

There's no point in it. Oh, I wouldn't
say that, Mr. Birch. You've got to have

body, you know.

Habeas corpus and all that, remember? I
mean, you've got to have a body before

you can make a charge of murder against
anyone.

So don't you worry, Mrs. Hale -Campbell.

Everything's going to be all right.

Me? Do you mean... I've kept my eyes
open this evening. Haven't spent all my

time on the spare room bed, you know.

Never did like that Elgin or his wife
listening at doors, running to the

with stories about blackmail. So you
heard. What I say is stand by your own

So, only one thing to do.

Get rid of the body and let the police
chase their tails looking for it.

Pretty smart words if I say so myself.

Do you mean to say it was you?

Well, we are all friends here, aren't
we?

Yes, I moved the body.

Locking the door again, of course. I've
got the key to all the doors in the

house. But how?

Where did you put it? Well, the spare
room bed, of course.

You know, the four -poster.

Right across the head of the bed, under
the bolster. Then I remade the bed and

laid down on top of it.

How did you get the body up to the spare
room? You couldn't manage it all by

yourself. Oh, you'd be surprised.

Good old fireman's lift slung it over my
shoulder.

I was supposing you had met someone on
the stairs.

Ah, but I didn't. The police were in
here with Mrs. Hale from Brown, and you

three were in the dining room, so I
grabbed my chance, and, of course, the

took it through the hall, locked the
library door again, and popped it

to the spare room. Well, upon my soul.

But he can't stay there forever.

Oh, no. Not forever, of course, Mrs.
Heldren -Brown. Twenty -four hours,

By that time, the police will have
finished with the house and grounds.

be looking further afield.

Now, I've been thinking.

This morning, I dug a knife -deep
trench.

Right. We'll bury the body there and
plant a double row of celery right along

it. Well, unfortunately, Miss Peake,
grave -digging is no longer a matter of

private enterprise.

You men...

Nicholas, we've got more sense.

We can even take murder in our stride,
eh, Mrs. Hilton -Brown? Of course she

didn't kill him. Don't believe a word of
it.

Well, if she didn't, who did?

Pippa, what are you doing out of bed?

I came down.

I'm so frightfully hungry.

And you said you'd bring this up.

I thought you were asleep.

I was asleep.

I thought a policeman came in and looked
at me.

I've been having an awful dream.

And then I half woke up.

And then I was hungry, so I thought I'd
come down.

Excuse me.

I'll just see the people and see how the
boys in blue are getting on.

I thought it might be true.

Thought what might be true, Christopher?

I had a dream about...

Oliver. What was your horrible dream
about Oliver, Pippa? Tell me.

I made this tonight.

I melted down a wax candle, and I made a
pin red -hot, and I stuck it through

it. Good Lord.

I said the right words and everything,
but I couldn't do it quite as the book

said. What book?

I don't understand.

Here it is.

She got it in the market today. She
called it a recipe book.

And you said, can you eat it?

A hundred tried and trusted spells.

How to cure warmth, how to get your
heart's desire, how to destroy your

Oh, Pippa, is that what you did?

Yes.

It isn't very like Oliver.

And I couldn't get any clippings of his
hair.

He's as like as I could make it.

And then, then I dreamed.

I thought I came down here.

He was there.

And it was all true. He was there.

Dead.

I had killed him.

Is it true that I killed him? No,
darling, no.

But he was there.

Yes, Pepper, darling, he was there. But
you didn't kill him. Now, listen to me.

When you stuck the pin into that back
figure, it was your hatred and your fear

of Oliver that you wanted to kill. Isn't
that true?

Yes, it's true.

But I saw him. I came down here and I
saw him lying there dead.

I did see him. Yes, darling, you did see
him, but you didn't kill him. Now,

listen. Oliver was hit over the head
with a big stick.

Now, you didn't do that, did you?

No, not a stick.

You mean a golf stick like Jeremy had.

No, Pippa, not a golf club. That big
stick was kept in the hall stand.

Oh, the one that belonged to Mr. Sellon.
The Miss Peaky calls a log carry.

Hmm.

Oh, I wouldn't do anything like that.

I couldn't.

Oh, Aunt Carole, I wouldn't have killed
him, really.

Oh, of course you wouldn't. Now, come
on, darling, put your feet up and forget

all about it.

should have known. Pippa couldn't
possibly.

I didn't know anything about this book.

Pippa told me she killed him and I
thought it was true.

You mean you thought that Pippa... Yes,
darling.

That is plain.

Good God.

Well, I'd better go to the police. I
don't know about you. She's already told

them three stories.

No, wait.

I've got an idea.

She'd go.

What's the name of Mr. Sellon's shop?

It was an antique shop. Yes, I know
that. What was it called?

What do you mean, what was it called?
Oh, you are being difficult.

You've said it earlier, and I want you
to say it again. What was written up

outside the door?

What was written up?

Well, what should be written up?

Well, only Thelon and Brown. At last,
Thelon and Brown.

My name is Hailsham Brown.

We got this house dirt cheap.

People who came to see it before us...
are such an exorbitant rent that they

went away in disgust. Now what have you
got there?

No, not yet. At last, dimly yet.

Mrs. Dillon's partner was a woman. Today
somebody rang up and asked her to speak

to Mrs. Brown. Not Mrs. Halesham Brown,
just Mrs.

Brown. Yes, I see what you're getting
at. Well, I don't. A horse chestnut or a

chestnut horse. One of them makes all
the difference. Oh, Clarissa, you're not

delirious or anything, are you, dear?
Somebody killed Oliver. It wasn't any of

you three. It wasn't me or Henry. It
wasn't Pippa, thank God.

Then who was it? It was, as I said,
Inspector, someone on the outside.

followed Oliver down here.

Yes, but why did they?

Now, when I left you today at the gate,
I came back and in through that

window... Oliver was standing near the
desk. He was very surprised to see me.

said, Clarissa, what are you doing here?
I just thought it was an elaborate way

of annoying me. But suppose it was just
what it seemed.

He was surprised.

He thought this house belonged to
somebody else. He thought the person

here would be the Mrs Brown who was Mr
Selland's partner.

Yes, but wouldn't he have known that you
and Henry had this house? Wouldn't

Miranda have known?

When Miranda has to communicate, she
always does it through her lawyers. No,

Oliver had no idea he was going to see
me. He recovered pretty quickly and made

some excuse that he'd come to talk about
Pippa.

And then he pretended to go away.

But he came back because he... The
hand's still on.

They've looked under all the beds, I
gather, and now they're searching

Miss Peake, do you remember what Mr
Costello said just before he left?

I hadn't the faintest idea.

He said, didn't he...

I came to see Mrs. Brown.

Oh, I believe you did. Yes, why?

But it wasn't me you came to see.

Well, if it wasn't you, I don't know who
it was.

It was you.

You're Mrs.

Brown, aren't you?

That's very bright of you.

Yes, I am Mrs. Brown. You're Mr.
Felden's partner.

You own this house. You inherited it
with the business.

You had the idea of getting a tenant
whose name was Brown.

But in the end, you had to compromise on
Hailsham Brown.

Now, I don't know why you wanted me in
the limelight while you watched.

I don't understand the ins and outs.
Charles Sellon was murdered.

He got hold of something very valuable.

I don't know how, I don't even know what
it was. It wasn't always very

scrupulous. No, we have heard.

But whatever it was, he was killed for
it.

And whoever killed him didn't find the
thing.

Probably because it wasn't in the shop,
it was here in this house.

I thought that whoever had killed him
would come back sooner or later, and I

wanted to be on the watch.

Therefore, I had to have a dummy Mrs.
Brown.

It didn't worry you that Mrs. Harrison
Brown, a perfectly innocent woman, would

be in danger? Well, I have kept my eye
on her, haven't I? So much so that it's

annoyed you all at times.

And then the other day, when a man came
along and offered her a ridiculous price

for that desk, I was sure I was on the
right track.

And yet I swear there was nothing in
that desk that meant anything at all.

Have you tried the secret drawer?

Secret drawer, is that one? There's
nothing there now.

Pippa found the drawer, but there were
only some old autographs in it.

Clarissa, I'd rather like to see those
autographs again.

Pippa, where did you... Oh, she's
asleep.

Oh, fast asleep.

It's all the excitement.

Shall I take her up to bed? No.

I think she'll be safer where she is.

Safer? Safer?

That is what I said.

That child did a very significant thing
just now.

What did she say? If you all think back,
perhaps you'll realize it.

I don't get it. What did she say?

Um, policeman.

Coming down here.

Half awake. Oh, really, come on. Don't
be so damn mysterious. What is all this?

Those autographs, where are they?

Ah.

Now, I seem to remember Pippa putting
them in that big shell box over there.

Right, right.

Here they are.

Victoria R., a plate of brown ink.

John Ruskin, and that looks authentic to
me.

Robert Browning.

Here's my paper, not as old as it ought
to be.

Really? What do you mean?

I had some experience of invisible ink
and that sort of thing during the war.

Now, if you wanted to make a secret note
of something, it wasn't a bad idea to

write it down in invisible ink on a
sheet of paper, and then fake an

in real ink over the top of it.

Now... Mix that autograph with other
genuine autographs and nobody would

the difference any more than we did.

But what could Charles Thelen have
written that was worth 14 ,000 pounds?

It occurred to me, Miss Peake, that it
might have been a question of safety.

Safety? Oliver Costello is suspected of
supplying drugs.

Charles Thelen was questioned by the
drug squad.

There's a possible link there, don't you
think?

Now, a little gentle heat might do the
trick.

Shall we try the experiment?

Oh, Jeremy, will you get the electric
fire from the library?

This takes me back years. I remember
writing secret messages with lemon juice

when I was a child.

I can't bear it if nothing happens.

Yes, there is something.

There's something coming up. Let me see.
Wait a minute. Don't juggle me.

We've got it. What have you got? A list
of fixed names and addresses distributed

in the drug record, I should say. And
one of those names is Oliver Costello.

Oliver. So that's why he came. And
somebody must have followed him. Really?

me. Come on. It's an extraordinary thing
I've ever heard. You know, you remember

what it was.

Are you coming, Miss Peake?

You don't want me, do you? Oh, I think
so.

After all, you were Selden's partner.

Oh, but I knew nothing about the drug
business. I handled the antique side.

Did all the London buying and selling.

I see.

Hello, Jeremy.

I remember what Sir Roland said, so I
thought perhaps we oughtn't to leave

by herself.

Her feet seemed a bit cold, so I was
just covering them up.

I'm always excited to say I'm terribly
hungry.

Jeremy, you've eaten them all.

Sorry, I was starving.

I see why you should be. You've had
dinner, I haven't.

I haven't had dinner either.

I was practising approach shots.

I only went in for dinner after your
telephone call came. Oh, I see.

I see you.

What do you mean?

You.

What do you mean by you?

What were you doing with that cushion
when I came into the room?

I was covering Pippa's feet up. They
were cold.

Were you?

Is that really what you were doing? Or
were you going to put that cushion over

her mouth?

Clarissa. I said none of us could have
killed him, but one of us could.

You.

You were on the golf course all alone.
You could have come back to the house in

through the library window, which you'd
left open. You had your golf club still

in your hand.

That's what Pippa saw. That's what she
meant when she said a golf stick like

Jeremy had.

She saw you. That's nonsense, Clarissa.
No, it isn't. Then you went back to the

club, rang up the police so that they
would come here, find the body and think

it was Henry or I who had killed him.

Absolute rubbish. It's true.

I know it's true.

But why?

That's what I don't understand. Why?

This.

That's the envelope the autographs were
in.

There's a stamp on it.

It's what's known as an error stamp.

Printed in the wrong colour.

One from Sweden sold last year for £14
,300.

So that's it.

The stamp came into Felon's possession.
He wrote to my boss about it.

I opened the letter.

I came down and saw Felon. And killed
him.

But you couldn't find the stamp.

No. It wasn't in the shops. I felt sure
it must be here.

And tonight I thought...

Costello had beaten me to it.

So you killed him too.

And just now you were going to kill
Pippa.

Why not?

I can't believe it.

My dear Clarissa, £14 ,000 is a great
deal of money.

Why are you telling me all this?

Do you imagine that I won't go to the
police?

They'll never believe you.

Oh, yes, they will.

Besides, they're not going to get the
chance.

Do you think when I've killed two
people, I should worry about killing a

All right, Warrender.

Give me that envelope.

That's all the evidence we need.

A trap.

Very clever.

Jeremy Warrender, I arrest you for the
murder of Oliver Costello, and I must

warn you that anything you say may be
taken down and given in evidence.

You can save your breath, Inspector.

It was a good gamble. Take him away.

I've forgotten your handcuffs, Mr Jones.

Are you all right, Theresa?

Yes. Yes, I'm all right. I didn't mean
to expose you to this.

You knew it was Jeremy, didn't you? But
what made you think about the stamp,

sir?

It rang a bell when Pippa showed me this
envelope this evening.

And then... When I read in Hussu that
Sir Lazarus Stein was a stamp collector,

my suspicion grew. And finally, when
Warrantor had the impertinence to pocket

this envelope in front of my nose, I
felt it was a certainty.

Take great care of it, Inspector.

You may find it extremely valuable,
besides being evidence.

It's evidence, all right. A particularly
vicious young criminal is going to get

his desserts.

However, we've still got to find the
body.

Oh, that's easy, Inspector.

Look in the spare room bed.

Not really, Mrs Hale from Brown.

Why does nobody ever believe me?

It is in the spare room there, down by
the bolster.

Miss Peake put it there, trying to be
kind.

Trying to be... You know, you haven't
made things easier for us tonight.

I suppose you thought your husband had
done it and were lying to cover up for

him. But you really shouldn't do it,
madam. You really shouldn't.

Oh, we'd better. Better get her up to
bed. She'll be safe enough.

Come on, Hibba.

Up today, is it?

That's it. Be gone.

Oops. Time you were in bed.

I'm hungry.

Yes, yes. We'll see what we can find.
Good luck, my darling.

Ah,

can I help you, Clarissa? No, thank you,
Hibba. We can manage.

God bless my soul.

I have never believed it. I mean, he
seemed a decent enough sort of fellow.

Sir Roland, I thought I'd just tell you.
They want me to go down to the police

station. I've got to make a statement.

They're not very happy about the trick I
played on them.

I mean, for wigging, I'm afraid.

You know, Rowley, my boy, I'm still a
bit confused. Now, was Miss Peake Mrs.

Sellon, or was Mr. Sellon Mr. Brown, or
the other way around?

We're removing the body now, sir.

Ah, yes, Inspector.

Would you advise Mrs. Halesham -Brown
that if she tells these fancy stories to

the police, one day she'll get into real
trouble? Well, she did tell you the

truth once, you know, Inspector, and you
wouldn't believe her. Yes.

Well, it was a bit difficult to swallow,
sir, you'll admit. Oh, yes, I admit

that. Not that I'm blaming you, sir.

Mrs. Halesham -Brown is a lady with a
very taking way with her.

Well, good night, sir. Good night,
Inspector.

Good night, Mr. Gersh. Well done. Well
done, Inspector.

Well done. Thank you, sir.

Well, now.

Well, now, I think I must get off to bed
now.

Some evening, eh, Rowley? Some evening.
Good night, dear boy. Good night.

Good night.

Good night, Clarissa. Good night, Hugo.

Darling, Uncle Rowley.

I'm so clever, too. You're a very lucky
young woman. It's a good thing you

didn't lose your heart to that young
man.

If I lost my heart to anyone, darling,
it would be to you. No, no, no.

None of your tricks with me.

Henry! Hello.

Rowley? Thought you were at the club.

Yes, well, I thought I'd turn in early.
Rather a strenuous evening.

Bridge? Yes, bridge and other things.

Where's Mr Jones?

Didn't come.

What? Oh, the plane arrived with nothing
but a half -baked Aida coin in it.

First thing he did was turn round and
fly straight back where he'd come from.

Why? How do I know?

Suspicious, it seems.

Suspicious of what, I ask you?

Well, where's Sir John?

Oh, that's the worst of it.

He'll be arriving down any minute now, I
expect.

Of course, I rang at once from the
aerodrome, but he'd already started.

Oh, the whole thing is a most ghastly
fiasco.

Oh, I'll go.

Maybe the police.

The police?

Yes. Yes, this is Copleston Court.

Yes, he is here. Darling's Field.
Bindley Heath Aerodrome.

Hello?

Yes, speaking.

What?

Ten minutes later.

Well, shall I?

Yes.

Yes, yes.

Oh, no.

No, no.

Oh, you have?

Yes, I think.

Right.

What is that?

Ah. Another plane came in ten minutes
after the first, and Kalendorf was on

Mr. Jones, you mean?

Quite right, darling. One can't be too
careful.

It seems that the first plane was some
kind of security precaution. Really, one

can't fathom how these people's minds
work.

Anyway, they're sending him over right
away with an RAF escort. He'll be here

about a quarter of an hour.

Now, is everything all right?

Get rid of those cards, will you?

What's this?

Oh, um, Pippa was eating it.

I'll get rid of it. Oh, and I'll make
some more hand sandwiches.

No, not yet, darling. The chairs.

I thought you were going to have
everything ready. What have you been

this? Henry, I've had my terribly
exciting evening.

You see, I came in here with some
sandwiches just after this.

And the first thing that happened was I
fell over a body there behind the sofa.

Darling, I'm sorry. It's always
enchanting, but really, there isn't time

Oh, no, but Henry, it's true.

And that was only the beginning. The
police came, and then it was just one

after another. There was a drugs rig.
Miss Peake isn't Miss Peake at all.

really Mrs. Brown, the murderer turned
out to be Jeremy Warren. He was looking

for a stamp worth $14 ,000.