All language subtitles for 1960 - The Spider`s Web

I could murder Sir John.

Calling you back to London right in the
middle of your holiday.

Oh, my darling, you know perfectly well
that in the diplomatic service, neither

rain nor snow nor gloom of night shall
stay us in the proper execution of our

duty. I'm sorry to say.

That bodes another crisis.

Who's walking out on whom this time?

I really don't know. But they sounded
very hush -hush and mysterious on the

telephone.

Henry? Mm -hmm.

Supposing Sir John were to send you to a
strange country on a secret mission.

Yes, go on. And supposing you were
arrested as a spy and shot by a firing

what then?

In that case, my sweet, you'd be the
most attractive widow in England.

Daddy, Clarissa.

That's Pippa.

Are you leaving now, Pippa? Yes.

Bye, Pippa. Enjoy your lunch. Bye.

Darling, I can't thank you enough for
what you've done for Pippa.

Oh, darling.

She's been through such misery.

And now she's well and she's happy.

She and I get along very well.

But do you know what I've often
wondered?

What? What she really thinks of me as a
stepmother.

You see, in fairy tales, stepmothers are
always so beastly.

Oh, now, really, Clarissa, that's
nonsense.

No, I mean it.

Supposing that deep down inside, Pippa
really resented me.

And supposing she found some deadly herb
and put it in my salad one day.

I'm sorry, darling.

But she's been taking a morbid interest
in grisly subjects and actually

collecting books on voodoo and
witchcraft. Darling, those subjects are

less compulsory for a 12 -year -old. Do
you know what would really bother me?

What? If she stopped reading and started
supposing.

Good morning, madam. Good morning, sir.
Morning, Elgin. Morning, Elgin.

Breakfast is on the terrace. Thank you.
Have Sir Roland and Mr. Warren ahead

theirs? Oh, yes, madam. I think they're
going out.

By the way, it's our night off. Mrs.
Elgin and I are thinking of going into

Maidstone. Is there anything we can do
for you?

No, thank you. Very thoughtful of you.
Have a good time.

Thank you, madam.

Good man, Elgin.

His wife's a first -rate cook.

Miss Peake doesn't think so. She loathes
the Elgins.

What's she got against them?

Well, her hatred is founded on the fact
that Mrs. Elgin does not care for her

vegetables. And as Miss Peake was the
gardener for the former owner of

Coppleston Court... She rather resents
being criticized by the Elgins.

Actually, she has implied that Elgin is
an ex -jailbird masquerading as a

butler. Darling, Miss Peake's
imagination is almost as vivid as yours.

You think it's imagination?

What do you think she's doing now?

What the devil is the woman doing?

I'd say she's digging a grave.

For Mr. and Mrs. Elgin.

You mean... Darling, I love you. Miss
Peake is digging a trench for the

potatoes or something.

Oh, is that all?

I hope your victims don't discover what
you suppose about them. They'll never be

the same again.

Roly. Hello.

Morning, Jeremy. Hello, darling.

Good morning, darling. Lovely day for
golf. That's what we thought.

Are you two playing together?

No, no. Roly's playing with a local J
.P.

Hugo Birch. Oh, have a good game. Thank
you very much indeed.

Well, see you later.

Bye, Jeremy.

Bye.

Now, what about Rowley? Now, he's a good
subject to suppose about.

He was your guardian for years. Wouldn't
hurt a fly.

Ah. Generous.

But supposing he isn't my guardian?

Supposing he's an imposter who killed
the real Rowley in my childhood?

Oh, you win, darling.

Don't you want to know what I suppose
about Jeremy?

Yes, there's just time for one more.

Well, supposing we went away together,
what would happen then?

Um, I don't know. What would?

Well, the first time I supposed it, we
were in the South of France, and you

arrived, and you had a revolver. Did I?

And you said, if you don't come back to
England with me, Clarissa... If you

don't come back to England with me,
Clarissa... I'll shoot myself.

I'll shoot myself?

That was jolly decent of me. What did
you say?

Well, I couldn't quite make up my mind.

I really must go now, darling.

I won't be back late.

Unless he's arrested as a spy.

I'm shot by a firing squad.

That, you say, is the Dow 42?

The kitchen stuff?

The Coburn 27, right? Right.

Well, don't swallow the lot.

Luthier, what are you two... Shh, don't
interrupt.

The great experts on the job.

We've got a big bet on this.

Kermit Windows 7, Dow 42, Kitchen 55.

You've lost, old boy.

Well, darling, have you settled a jet?
Yes, I've won and he's lost. You owe me

five pounds. Good.

Well, now you can take the tray into the
dining room and you'll find the

decanter on the sideboard.

The decanter?

Oh, yes, only one. It's all the same
port, you know.

You unprincipled... Stop laughing.

Oh, I'm disgusted with your behavior.

But you look so bored. I thought I'd
give you a little entertainment.

Entertainment.

I'll never forgive you for this.

I'll never talk to you again as long as
I live.

Hello, Chris. Hi, Jeremy.

Hello, darling.

Oh, I'm starving.

Haven't you had your tea?

Oh, yes, but that was half an hour ago.

Can't I have something to last me till
supper?

All right, we'll see what we can find.

Be back in a minute, Jeremy.

Fine.

Oh, Lord save us, here comes that Pete
woman.

Now, listen, try and keep your temper.

Oh, look who's talking. You don't have
to put up with her. The last six weeks

I've been cooking that woman's puny
vegetables for Helston Brown.

Every day she comes barging into my
kitchen causing trouble.

I know, but we're stuck with her and
we're miles from London.

This is a stinking job. Let's try and
make the best of it. Lucky to find any

kind of job with your references.

Here, I don't think I like that. Oh,
try.

for tomorrow's dinner.

More like the cat's dinner, if you ask
me.

You have a keen sense of humour, Mrs
Elgin.

You need it to be married to that.

Look at these tomatoes.

Not fit for cooking, let alone eating.

What you know about cooking could be
stuck in a flea's navel. Listen to her.

out of my kitchen. Go on, out. It's not
your kitchen. It's the Hirshman Browns.

And they should be more careful about
the agency they get their help from.

What?

Oh.

So you suddenly come to like Elgin.

I can't say it's a great improvement.

Look, don't think I don't know about
that peculiar agency in London.

Who are you to talk?

Who knows where you came from?

I came with a house and I'm staying with
a house and there is more than I can

say about either of you.

So put that in your thoughts when you
burn it.

Tumut poisoner.

Do you like living in the country?

Rather. Much better than London.

This is a wizard house, Jeremy.

It's got everything.

It's even got a priest's hall.

A priest's hall in this house? Yes.

I can't believe that. It's the wrong
sort of place altogether.

Look, I'll show you that.

You want this.

Good heavens.

That's fantastic.

Of course. This isn't really a priest's
hall.

It goes through to the library.

Come, I'll show you. Yes, right.

This is the library.

Fantastic. I'm going to go through this
door and back into Jordan again.

Ah, that fooled you, didn't it?

Yeah, how do I close this?

There's a switch on the side.

Oh, yes.

You just made it.

You'd never guess the recess was there
unless you knew.

You certainly wouldn't. I use it all the
time.

It's the sort of place that would be
very convenient for putting a dead body.

Don't you think?

Yes, yes, absolutely made for it.

Well, I suppose we may as well go over
to the golf house.

Good Lord, yes. Yes, I've got to change.
I'll be five minutes.

I hope you don't mind dining at the
club, darling.

No, as the servants are going out, it
seems a very sensible arrangement.

Miss Pippa, your supper's ready in the
schoolroom.

Good, I'm ready. Yeah, yeah, what about
the cards?

Oh, bother.

Yes, oh, bother. You're a very untidy
little girl.

Excuse me, madam.

What is it, Elgin?

Mrs. Elgin is rather upset about that
matter.

I do hope you'll speak to Miss Peake
about it.

Oh, yes, of course I will. Thank you,
madam.

Elgin tells me that he isn't having a
very friendly relationship with our

garden. What?

Curious, isn't it?

It sounds improper in a pagan sort of
way.

Well, it certainly does.

You're very lucky, that couple, though.
Where did you get them?

From an employment agency in London.

Mrs. Herschel -Brown.

Do forgive me coming in like this. My
feet are filthy.

I mean the boots, naturally.

I just wanted to ask you about the
vegetables for tomorrow's dinner.

By the way, you did speak to Mrs. Elgin
about her rudeness.

Not yet, Miss Peake, but I will.

Thank you.

And if you could possibly persuade her
to put her head in the gas oven, I

be delighted.

That woman drives me... Sit down, I'll
answer it.

Hello?

Yes?

Yes, for you.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Thank you.

Hello? Who's that speaking?

Yes, this is Mrs... Hello?

Hello?

There you are.

They must have rung off.

Mrs... Mrs. Herson -Brown, you will be
careful about marks on this table, won't

you? Mr. Salmon was very particular.

Really? And, uh, that ornament.

That's all we've kept up there.

It's old Hilton Brown, Mrs. Spode.

Hilton Spode.

I don't know what's going on with me
today.

I had a bit of a good night, too.

Oh, well.

Oh, well, Brown Hilton, Hilton Brown,
it's all the same, really, isn't it? No,

it is not. A horse chestnut is not the
same as a chestnut horse.

I'm getting a ticking off.

Well, I'll be getting along.

Bye -bye.

Goodbye.

Oh, you know, how does Henry get on with
Miss B?

He rather likes her. She's not a bad
sort, really.

And a very good gardener.

She came with the house, and the house
was terribly cheap.

Cheap, is it, really? You surprise me.

Marvelously cheap.

It was advertised, and we came to see
it, and we took it for six months

furnished. Who does it belong to?

A Mr. Sellon. He died.

He was an antique dealer at Mateson.
Yes, that's right.

Sellon and Brown.

They sold excellent antiques.

Mind you, there are one or two
disadvantages to this house. Only

couple of men arrived, and they wanted
to buy that desk.

I told them we didn't own it, but they
wouldn't listen to me. And they kept

raising the price until it went up to
500 pounds.

500 pounds? For that desk? Oh, Lord.

Hello, darling.

You're looking very depressed. What's
the matter?

I'm still hungry.

She can't be.

I am, though.

Milk and chocolate biscuits and banana
aren't really filling.

Well, of course not.

Give the poor child something to eat at
once, good gracious.

Yes.

It's quite a nice desk.

Genuine, I should think.

Hardly what I'd call a collector's
piece.

I've just got a secret drawer with a
diamond necklace in it. Maybe that. Has

a secret drawer.

What?

I found a book in the moth.

All about secret drawers and old
furniture.

I looked all over the house, but this is
the only one I could find.

Look, I'll show you.

Slide out this, and there's sort of a
little catch thing underneath.

The drawer flies out, see?

I say, that's very good, isn't it?

I don't know what's inside.

April Fool.

I put it there.

You little villain.

Actually, there was an envelope with
Queen Victoria in it. Look, I'll show

Do you collect autographs, Pippa?

Not really, only as a sideline. How much
is Queen Victoria's autograph worth?

Oh, five to ten shillings, I think.

There's Ruskin's here and Robert
Browning's.

I don't think they're worth very much
either.

I wish I had Cary Grant's or Frank
Sinatra's. Ah, yes.

These historical ones are rather mouldy,
I think.

Well, I wouldn't mind having Bo to see
us.

That's if she could write.

Oh, I'm terribly sorry to have kept you
chaps waiting.

Are you sure you won't come with us,
Clarissa?

No. Henry will be here soon, but I'll
walk to the gate with you. Oh, fine.

I'll be back in a minute, darling.

Pick up.

It's time little girls were in bed and
it's time little boys went over to the

club to get some dinner. Good night,
darling.

Good night, Uncle Roly.

Good evening, sir.

I'm Mr. Oliver Costello. I want to see
Mrs. Brown.

Brown? Oh, yes, of course.

If

you

wait here, sir, I'll find Mrs. Hale from
Brown.

Good evening.

Clarissa.

What are you doing here?

That's rather a silly question, as I
live here.

This is your house.

Don't pretend you didn't know.

It's charming.

Used to belong to Earl What's -His
-Name, the antique dealer, didn't it?

Cigarettes.

No, thank you, and I think you should
go.

My husband is due back quite soon, and I
don't think he'd be very pleased to see

you. But I particularly want to see him.

That's why I've come here, really.

To discuss suitable arrangements.

Arrangements?

Mm -hmm.

For Pippa.

You see, Mayor Andrew, it's quite
agreeable to Pippa spending part of her

holidays with Henry.

And perhaps a week at Christmas, but
otherwise... This is Pippa's home.

My dear Clarissa, surely you're aware
that the court gave Miranda the custody

the child.

May I?

The case was undefended.

Remember? It was agreed that Pippa would
live with her father.

If Miranda had not agreed that, Henry
would have divorced her.

You don't know Miranda very well, do
you?

She so often changes her mind.

I don't think she cares toughens about
the child.

But you're not a mother, my dear
Clarissa.

You don't mind my calling you Carissa,
do you?

After all, now that I'm married to
Miranda, we're practically relations -in

-law.

Yes, I can assure you, Miranda's feeling
violent and maternal.

I don't believe it.

Well, please yourself.

But after all, there was no arrangement
in writing, you know.

You're not going to have Pippa.

The child was a nervous wreck, and now
she's better.

And that's the way she's going to
remain.

Oh, and how will you manage that?

The law's on our side.

What a fool I've been.

It's blackmail.

I was looking for you, madam.

Will it be quite all right for us to
leave now?

Yes, Elgin.

Supper's late already in the dining
room. Would you like me to close the

before we go?

No, I'll see to them, thank you.

Yes, thank you, madam. Good night.

Good night.

Blackmail?

It's a very ugly word, Teresa.

Have I ever mentioned any money?

No, but that's what you meant, isn't it?

Well, I think Miranda thinks that Henry
might give her a larger allowance.

After all, he's quite comfortably off,
isn't he?

If you try and take Pippa away from
here, I shall fight you tooth and nail.

don't care what weapons I use. What
weapons have you?

There's nothing to stop me going to the
medical board and getting evidence

proving that Miranda is a drug addict.

And I might even go to Scotland Yard, to
the narcotics squad, and suggest they

keep an eye on you.

Henry will hardly care for your methods.

Then Henry can lump it.

Clarissa?

Hello, Pippa.

How you've grown.

I've just come to make some arrangements
about you.

Your mummy's looking forward to having
you with her again.

Oh, come, I won't.

Don't worry, darling, you're staying
here with us. I assure you she won't.

Get out of here at once, will you?

How rude.

At once, do you hear?

Excuse me, Mr. Herson -Brown. May I come
in? Miss Peake, will you please show

Mr. Costello out?

Miss Peake?

Yes, I'm the gardener here.

Indeed. I came here once before to look
at some antique furniture.

In Mr. Sellon's time?

Well, you can't see him today. He's
dead.

I didn't come to see Mr. Sellon. I came
to see Mrs. Brown.

Well, now you've seen her.

Goodbye, Clarissa.

Mr. Costello, will you go by bus or have
you bought your own?

I left my car around by the stairs.

This way.

Thank you.

Oh.

You're here for me again.

He'll take me away from you. No, he
won't. I hate him. I've always hated

Now then, Pepper.

I don't want to go back to Mother.

I'd rather die.

Kill him.

Now then, that's enough of that.

Where's your handkerchief?

Blow your nose.

You go and have your bath and give
yourself a good wash because your neck's

filthy. It always is.

You won't let him take me away, will
you? Over my dead body, I swear. Or

over his dead body.

Satisfied? Oh, yes.

Up you go.

I'll be there in a minute.

Hello, darling.

Hello.

Did you bump into anybody in the
driveway?

Not a soul.

Why? Oh, nothing.

I have a drink.

Not just now, thank you.

Who's in the house?

Only Pepper. It's the Eldon's night out.
That means we'll have really good

coffee because I shall make it.

Darling, is there anything the matter?

The matter? No, nothing's the matter.

But there is something.

Do I perceive behind that foreign office
facade a certain human excitement?

Well, it is rather exciting in a way.
The news was only given out officially

tonight. Talent of Spain is due at
London Airport at 8 .40.

But... Look, Clarissa, I must beg you to
be discreet.

But I'm much more discreet than the
Sunday papers.

Well... The conference is tomorrow.

But it would be a great advantage if a
conversation could take place between

John himself and Callendorf before then.

Naturally, the reporters will all be
around London Airport, and the moment

plane arrives, Callendorf's movements
will become public property.

That's where the fog comes in. Go on,
darling, I'm thrilled.

At the last moment, his plane will find
that it is inadvisable to land at London

Airport. It will be diverted, as is
usual on these occasions. To Bindley

which is only 15 miles away. I shall go
down there now in the car, meet

Callendorf and Sir John, and bring them
back here.

Yeah.

You know, Clarissa, this could be very
important to me in my career.

I mean, they're putting a lot of trust
in me, having the meeting here in my

house. So they should, darling. I think
it's wonderful.

Oh, by the way, Kalendoff is to be
referred to as Mr.

Jones.

Jones? Yes, one can't be too careful
about using real names.

Oh, I know, but Mr.

Jones. Couldn't they have thought of
something better than that?

Well, what's the matter with it? I
thought it was rather a good idea.

If we have anything more complicated, we
might forget it ourselves.

But, darling...

What do you think I should do when these
important men arrive?

I mean, Sir John and Mr. Jones.

Do you think that I should retire to the
harem, as it were?

Or should I bring in the drinks, utter
greetings, and discreetly fade away?

Now, Clarissa, please be serious.

I am serious, really, darling. Nothing
will go wrong. I won't let it.

I say, what about Jeremy and Rowley?

They're having dinner at the club with
Hugo, and they're going to play bridge

afterwards, so they won't be back until
midnight.

And the Uggins are out?

They won't be back until after 11. Good,
that's fine. That means that Sir John

and... Joan.

Oh.

Anyway, they'll be through long before
then. I'll just go up and change and say

goodnight to Peppa.

All right, darling.

Oh, my briefcase, darling. I'll get it.

Then I'll go and make the sandwiches.

How to cure warts.

How to get to your heart's desire.

How to destroy your enemy.

Hello, Daddy. Hello, darling.

Just came to say goodnight.

I'm so glad you're home.

I should go out again, but I'll be back
soon.

Daddy, would you let anyone take me away
from you and Clarissa?

Oh, of course not, you silly old thing.

Would you kill anyone who tried?

I might.

I prefer.

Where on earth do you get these morbid
thoughts?

Well, supposing I was... Never mind, I
think I know.

Good night, then.

Good night.

I'm in here.

Do you like a sandwich before you go?
No, thank you. I think you should have

something to eat. I won't have time.

Time? You've got plenty of time. It only
takes 20 minutes to get there.

I don't think I can eat anything now
anyway.

And you never can tell.

The fog might... Oh, darling, there you
are.

The car might have a puncture, you know.

Anything could happen. The car might
break down.

Darling, don't fuss. You go and see your
Mr.

Jones. I still think it's a ridiculous
name.

And wear your overcoat. It's chilly
outside.

Yes, dear.

And your scarf.

Yes, dear.

And drive carefully.

Yes, dear.

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Clarissa!

Don't look.

Come with me.

Oh, I didn't mean to.

What do you mean?

Oh, Clarissa, I didn't mean to.

Pepper, it wasn't you.

He's dead, isn't he?

He's quite dead.

Oh, I didn't mean to kill him. I really
didn't mean to. Of course you didn't.

Now, listen to me.

I want you to forget all about this.

Everything is going to be all right.

Now, first of all, you ought to go
upstairs and get straight into bed.

You come with me.

As soon as possible.

Thank heaven you got here.

What's happened?

Darling, you've got to help me.

It looks like a bridge party. Oh,
please, this is terribly serious.

What are you up to? Will you help me? Of
course, what's it all about?

You are up to something, aren't you,
Clarissa? What is it? You found a body?

Yes, I have found a body. What? What do
you mean, you found a body?

It's what Jeremy said. I came down here
and I found a body.

Oh, really? I'm serious. Look behind the
sofa.

It's Costello. Why, say it aren't she's
right.

We must hurry. There's so little time.

Wait. We must get the facts clear. What
happened? As I said, I came into this

room and he was lying there like that.

He's dead, all right.

He's been hit over the head with
something heavy and sharp.

There's only one thing to be done.

We must call the police at once.

No, Rowley. Stop.

You should have done it in the first
place, my dear.

You told me that you would help if ever
I was in trouble.

Yes, but how, Clarissa? What do you want
us to do?

Get rid of the body.

Don't talk. Nonsense.

This is murder.

That's the whole point. I realized that
we mustn't have the body in this house.

So I started to drag it towards the
recess.

But, my dear Clarissa, you mustn't go
moving dead bodies about.

Oh, I was fully aware that I needed
help. That's why I rang you. And while I

waiting, I made a plan.

Including the bridge table?

This is going to be our alibi.

What on earth do you mean?

Two and a half rubbers.

I've imagined all the hands and I've
written down the scores.

Now you three must fill out these in
your own handwriting.

You're mad.

Raving mad.

I've worked it out beautifully.

It's going to take two of you to carry
the body. A dead body is most

unmanageable. I found that out already.

Just where do you expect us to take it?

I think the best place would be Marsden
Wood.

You can park the car by the side of the
road and walk back here.

But this is monstrous.

I'm a justice of the peace.

You'll need some gloves.

We mustn't risk you getting your
fingerprints over anything.

Darling, your natural talent for crime
leaves me speechless.

Joe, she's got it beautifully worked
out, hasn't she? Yes, she has, but it's

nonsense all the same. We must hurry,
because Henry's due back here at nine o

'clock with Mr Jones.

Mr Jones? Who's he?

I'd never realised how much explaining
there was to be done in a murder,

Well, I'm game, Clarissa, and he was a
dead body or two.

Stop! I'm not going to allow this.
Clarissa, you must be guided by me.

Henry to consider, too.

But Henry is the one I'm thinking of.

He's gone to collect a very, very
important person and bring them back

there should be absolutely no publicity
whatsoever.

Mr Jones.

Silly name, I agree, but that's what
they're calling him.

Now, can you imagine the effect on
Henry's career if he were to arrive and

discover the police in charge of a
murder?

And the murder, that of a man who has
just married his former wife.

Wait a minute.

You're not making this up, are you?

You'll never believe me when I tell the
truth.

I'm sorry.

This is going to be a more difficult
problem than I thought.

Now do you see why we have to get the
body out of here?

Right. Do we take the car to the body or
the body to the car? Now, wait. We

mustn't rush it like this.

Clarissa, I'm not sure your plan is the
best one. If we could delay finding the

body until tomorrow morning by moving it
to another room, for instance, then it

might be excusable.

Rowdy, this is urgent.

Come in here.

Now.

Darling. I love you very much and always
will, but in this case, the answer is

no. That man's body cannot be discovered
in this house.

If it is, we'll all be questioned and
Pippa cannot stand up to it.

Pippa? She'll break down and confess.

Pippa? She didn't mean to do it. She got
in a panic and struck out blindly with

that stick.

What stick?

The one in the hall stand. It's in the
recess now. I left it there.

Where is she now?

In bed. I'm going to take her to London
tomorrow. I must get her away from here.

All right, darling. You win.

I apologise.

That child must be protected at all
costs.

Come on.

Well, Rowley, I'm converted. There's not
a moment to lose.

Get hold of those.

How does this open?

I'll do it.

Pippa showed me.

Heavy enough.

Come on, let's get the body. Right.

Better cover him with this. Right.

Good luck.

What? What's happened to me?

We can't give the car now.

Can't we get another mugger of wood
somewhere? No, no. Back into the house.

But believe me.

Yeah, don't we know it?

I'll sit. Keep talking. Delaying
tactics.

Give us time.

Around the other way.

Put something down.

Feet.

Hi.

Come sit down.

Quick, quick.

Your call, Google.

Couldn't have spared me that.

What do I do with these?

Come here, come here. Come and sit down.

What are you playing at, you girl?

Guess what, darlings?

The police.

The police?

Good evening, gentlemen.

Sorry to intrude, but we've had
information that a murder's been

What? Murder?

Impossible. Isn't it extraordinary?

Yes. We had a telephone call at the
police station.

Good evening, Mr. Birch.

Good evening, Inspector Lord. How are
you?

Very well, thank you, sir.

Inspector, I think somebody's been
pulling your leg.

We've been playing bridge all evening,
haven't we? Yes.

Who did you say was murdered?

No names were mentioned, madam. The
caller just said a man had been murdered

Copleston Court. What a wicked thing to
do.

Thank you, madam.

You'd be surprised at some of the crazy
things people do do.

You're Miss Aylsham Brown, sir. Oh, no,
this is Mr. Warrender.

And this is Sir Roland Delahaye.

How do you do, sir?

I don't know.

And your husband, madam? Oh, he's not
here.

He's going to be back very late.

I see. Anyone else in the house?

Just my 12 -year -old stepdaughter.
She's upstairs fast asleep.

Servants? It's their night out. They're
in Maidstone.

I see.

Well, there's obviously been a
misunderstanding.

I'm sorry for troubling you, madam, but
I'm sure you'll understand that when we

get a telephone call of this nature, we
have to investigate the matter.

Isn't that right, Mr. Birch?

Quite right, Inspector.

Very commendable. Well, now, do come
again. Just drop in any time you feel

it. Thanks, ma 'am.

Elgin. Our butler.

I thought you were in Maidstone. We came
home almost immediately, sir, but Mrs.

Elgin wasn't feeling very well.

Is there anything the matter?

Someone phoned the police station and
said a murder had been committed here.

A murder?

Yes. Do you know anything about it?

No, nothing at all, sir, nothing. Wasn't
you that made the call, was it?

Certainly not, sir.

You came in the back door, I suppose.

Naturally, sir.

Do you notice anything unusual?

When I think of it, there's a strange
car parked near the stable.

I wondered who it belonged to. It seemed
a funny place to leave it.

Go and have a look at it, Jones.

Jones? Will you pardon me?

Oh, nothing.

An unusual name.

Well, go on.

And you too, but don't leave the house.

It seems there's been a visitor here
tonight who's unaccounted for.

You weren't expecting anyone?

Oh, no, just the four of us for bridge.

You haven't lived here very long, have
you, Mrs Ocean Brown? About six weeks.

And during that time there's been no
funny business of any sort?

What do you mean by funny business,
Inspector?

Well, it's a curious story, sir. But
this house used to belong to Mr Thelon,

antique dealer.

He died six months ago.

Didn't he have an accident or something?

That's right, madam. Fell downstairs,
landed on his head.

Accidental death they brought in. There
was no evidence, of course, but rather a

dark horses, Mr. Salmon.

What do you mean by that, Inspector?

Well, once or twice he'd had a couple of
things to explain, as you might say,

and the narcotics squad came down and
had a chat with him once.

It was all only suspicion.

Officially, that is to say. Oh, yes,
sir, officially.

Whereas unofficially... I'm afraid we
can't mention that, sir.

But there was one rather curious
circumstance.

On Mr. Selland's desk was an unfinished
letter in which he mentioned that he'd

come into possession of something which
he described as an unparalleled rarity

and which he would guarantee wasn't a
forgery.

He was asking £25 ,000 for it. £25 ,000
for a lot of money?

No, I know what it was.

Jewellery, I suppose.

But the word forgery... Oh, a picture,
perhaps?

Possibly, sir. But there was nothing in
the shop worth that much money. The

insurance inventory made that clear.

Oh, Mr. Sellon had a partner, a woman.
You know, she had her own business in

London. She wrote to us, but she
couldn't give us any help.

Inspector, why have you told us all of
this?

Well, because, Mrs. Aylsham -Brown, it
occurred to me that whatever it was that

had been hidden by Mr. Sellon may have
been hidden here and not in the shop at

Maidstone.

That's why I asked if anything peculiar
had come to your notice.

Well, somebody rang me today, and when I
answered the phone, they hung up.

I thought that was a bit odd.

And then yesterday, a couple of men
arrived and they wanted to buy that

That one?

Yes, I told them it wasn't ours and we
couldn't sell it, but they wouldn't

listen. They offered the most terrific
amount, much more than it's worth.

Probably because of the secret drawer.

Secret drawer?

There's nothing very exciting in it,
only just some old autographs.

Yes, Jones? I'll examine the car, sir.

Found these.

Excuse me.

May we use that room? Of course.

Thank you, ma 'am.

A registration book in the name of
Oliver Costello, Cromwell Mansions,

South West 3.

Ever heard of him?

No, sir.

Better check up on the files.

Anything else?

These are on the seat, sir. No other
papers.

Something weird going on in there.

That bridge game. I don't like it.

Come on, we'll tackle it again. No, it's
no earthly good. He's bound to search

the hut and look out.

Has a man named Oliver Costello been
here today?

Yes, he came here about half past six, I
think. Friend of yours?

No, I wouldn't say that. I met him once
or twice.

As a matter of fact...

Let me explain, Inspector.

It concerns the First Mrs. Halesham
Brown.

There was a divorce just over a year
ago, and recently she married Mr. Oliver

Costello. He came here this evening,
why? By appointment?

No.

When my husband's first wife left him,
she took one or two things from the

that didn't belong to her.

And so, when Mr. Costello was in this
part of the world, he decided to return

them. What kind of things?

Oh, nothing very important.

Now, this was one, for instance. It
belonged to my husband's mother. Just

sentimental value.

Did he mention where he was going when
he left here?

No. He went out through the French
windows. As a matter of fact, my

Miss Peake, offered to show him out
through the garden.

Your gardener calls himself Miss Peake?

It's a lady gardener. Oh, yes, of
course.

I'd like to see Miss Peake, if I may. Of
course. She lives in the cottage. Would

you like me to ring her?

Howdy, Carissa.

Is that you, Miss Peake? Look, something
odd's happened.

Really? Would you come over?

Well, yes, of course.

I'll come over at once. I'll just put
something on.

Well, Miss Peake will come bounding
along any moment now, Inspector.

Thank you, Mr. Warlander.

Now, I'd like to search the house, if I
may.

Yes. Well, you've seen this room.

Nothing could possibly be hidden in
here. Would you like to start with the

library? Thank you, madam.

Here we are.

Nice room.

See where that door leads to. Yes, sir.

Through to the hall, sir.

I'd like to go upstairs now, if I may.
Certainly.

They've all gone upstairs.

What are we going to do now?

I don't like it. We're getting in deep.

Look here, we've got to own up before
it's too late. No, no, no, we can't do

that. That would mean letting Clarissa
down very badly.

Well, I don't like it. What do you say,
Rowley?

Personally, I'm committed to the
enterprise.

I don't understand.

I'm afraid it was taken on trust.

When the police don't find Costello's
body in the house, they'll look

else.

Yeah, wait a minute. I've just had a
brilliant idea.

Brilliant. Why don't we whip the body
outside while they're still upstairs?

No, no, no, no, they'll be back any
minute.

It's safer where it is.

All the other rooms are empty, sir.

May we go in here?

Is it necessary? It's the child's room.
I'm afraid it is.

Witchcraft and plagues, magic spells of
primitive tribes.

Very nice indeed.

I say, what's happened? Has there been a
burglary or something? No, no, not

that. As a matter of fact...

Detective Inspector Lord. A detective?

How exciting! I'm mad about crime.

Thank you.

Good evening, Miss Peake.

Delighted to meet you.

Would you sit down? Thank you. Or stay
standing, just as you like?

I think I'll remain upstanding.

So will I.

Miss Peake, a peculiar telephone call
brought us out here this evening, and I

think you may be able to help us. Well,
a natural service? Oh, very mysterious.

Now, what can I do for you?

Well, it concerns a Mr Oliver Costello
of Cromwell Mansions, Chelsea.

Never heard of him.

But he was out here this evening
visiting Mrs Ocean Brown.

I understood you showed him out. Oh,
that man!

Oh, why didn't you say so before?

Now, what do you want to know?

I want to know exactly what happened and
when you last saw him. Oh, yes. Now,

I've got a thing. Now, let me see. We
were, uh... We were in here.

Yes. Yes, and then we walked over here.

Then, uh... Then we went out of the
window, and then after that, I beg your

pardon, I didn't see you there. And
then... Then he went over to the stable

collect his car.

And then?

Then? Then.

Then he drove away, I suppose.

But he couldn't have done. His car's
still there.

Miss Peake, we had a telephone call at
the police station at 7 .49 this evening

saying that a man had been murdered at
Copleston Court. A man murdered here?

Have you looked for the body, Inspector?

The Inspector's already searched the
house.

Look, I'm sure the Elgins are at the
bottom of this. I saw light in their

bedroom on my way here tonight.

Make a note of that, Sergeant.

Miss Peake, now... Don't talk, listen.

Now, suppose, I only say suppose, Mr
Costello found out that Elgin was a man

with a criminal record. He might have
come back.

a worm, Mrs. Hilton Brown, and Elgin
killed him. And, of course, he'd have to

hide the body.

Now, where could he have hidden the
body? Miss Peake, nobody has hidden

anywhere. Oh, you can't be sure about
that. Now, where could a man like Elgin

have hidden the body? Now, let me think,
let me think.

Of course, you've looked in that
cupboard place between here and the

naturally. The inspector has looked both
in here and the library.

Oh.

What do you mean by that cupboard place,
Miss Peake? Oh, it's a wonderful place

to hide.

When you're in the house, but you want
to pretend to be out.

I'll show you.

There's nothing in there now.

I know because I've just been through
there into the library.

Oh. In that case, we don't have to
worry.

No. I'd like to see it just a second.
Would you certainly?

Excuse me, ma 'am.

Now this, this used to be a little door
originally.

And over here is a gadget which you just
press and the door flies open.

There you go.

pushing me.

And she looks.

It's all too well for you to talk.
You've got the lighter in.

All right. Send the medical officer over
as soon as you can.

What? Yes, send them as well. We want
photographs.

Everything in the lot.

Bye.

Well, madam?

Inspector, Mrs Hale from Brown's had a
nasty shock. She's in no condition to

answer questions.

No, I'm perfectly all right.

If I could just have an aspirin.

She won't run away, though.

Well, that's a comfort, sir.

Very well, madam, but please come right
back.

I'd like another word with you, sir,
please.

All right.

Well, we'd better get the body back and
recess and close the panel. Right, sir.

Oh, sir, sir. Are you quite all right?
Yes, sir.

Good. Is Miss Peake all right? Yes.

She's still out, but I think she'll
live. That is, I'm afraid she will.

I thought you were almost out. Well, I
was, but I recuperated very quickly.

Yes, I see.

What exactly is happening now? I'm
worried to death.

Henry may be back at any moment with Sir
John and that important person. We've

got to get the police out of the house.

It's a good idea, but I don't see how
we're going to do that now they've found

the body.

Well, supposing...

You nip down to Miss Peake's cottage and
you'll phone the inspector and tell him

that he's got to get home immediately.

That's a very good idea.

Wait a minute, why?

Say his house is burning down.

But he may live in a flat.

No, no, I don't think it's a good idea
at all.

Well, say his wife's just been taken off
to hospital.

Hospital? Yes, now, who knows?

Hey, where did he go now?

Well, I mean, his wife may be a nurse in
the hospital.

No, I think the best thing for us to do
is to get together on a good story

before we question it.

Well, you don't think the inspector's
going to allow that for a moment, do

Oh, hello.

Inspector Lord is waiting for you,
madam.

Oh, I was just inquiring about Miss
Peake.

They're not here, sir.

Come in, Mrs. Harrison -Brown.

Hello, darling.

Sir Roland, would you join Mr. Warrender
in the library?

I'd rather stay, if you don't mind.

I'll send for you if it should be
necessary.

As you wish.

Please sit down, madam.

Oh, thrown you out?

Yes.

Poor Clarissa.

She's in there with the police.

Well, heaven helps them.

Now, just a few simple questions.

Very well, but I'm afraid I don't know
anything at all. Did you know there was

body in that recess?

Of course not. It's horrible. Don't you
think so?

Quite. Now, when we searched this room,
why didn't you draw my attention to the

recess? Well, the idea never struck me.
I mean, we never use it. The thought

didn't come into my mind. But you said
you'd just been through there into the

library. You misunderstood me. I meant
that door.

I certainly did misunderstand you.

Now then, you've no idea when Mr.
Costello got to the house or what he

I can't imagine.

Is there anybody here he might have
wanted to see?

I don't know who. I mean, who is there?

Mrs. Halesham -Brown, Mr. Costello came
here. He was killed. His body was hidden

in that recess and nobody heard
anything. It's quite extraordinary.

Extraordinary. Fantastic.

That's all for the moment, Mrs. Halesham
-Brown.

Not that way, please.

But I'd really rather prefer to join the
others. Later, later.

Jones?

And then we all came back from the club
afterwards and decided to play bridge.

Well, and then after that, of course, we
decided... No, no, no, that's no good.

Clarissa's already talking to the
inspector.

We can never hope to get together on a
credible story now.

All right, all right. Now, listen.

Now, then.

You went into Maidstone this evening and
came back. Why?

My stomach was acting up, that's why.

You let Mr Costello into the house when
he came this evening, didn't you? Yes,

sir. Ever seen Mr Costello before?

Never, sir.

It wasn't because of Mr Costello that
you came back.

I've told you so. My wife wasn't... When
your stomach's acting up, you don't go

to the pictures.

Kindly allow your husband to answer my
questions, Mrs Elgin.

Now then, how long have you worked for
Mrs Elgin, Brown?

Six weeks. Before that, I've been having
a little rest.

A little rest.

Of course, you realise in cases like
this that references will be gone into

carefully? Well, look, I wouldn't want
to deceive you. There was nothing really

wrong. It's just a case that the
original references having got torn

I couldn't remember the exact wording.

So you wrote your own? I didn't mean any
harm. Why don't you ask that peak woman

about her references?

I'm not interested in fake references at
the moment. I want to know what

happened here tonight and what you know
about Mr. Costello. I've never set eyes

on him before, but I've got a good idea
why he came here.

Oh, why?

Blackmail. He'd got something on her.

Who, Mrs. Ocean Brown?

Oh, now, Fred, tell him what you heard.

All right, I will. Give us a chance.

I'd come into the room to ask them if it
was all right for me to go, and I heard

them. Well, what did you hear?

Well, she said, what a fool I've been.

Of course, it's blackmail.

Anything more?

No, they stopped when I came in. All
right, stay here, both of you. I may

you later.

Very unpleasant business, Mr.

Birch. But with you being a justice of
the peace and all that, sir, I'd like to

know what you have to say about it.

Nothing.

Nothing, sir.

Well, what do you expect me to say?

The woman opened the cupboard and there
was the corpse.

You know nothing about it, sir. I've
told you.

I didn't kill him. I didn't even know
him.

You'd heard of him?

Well, yes.

And I'd heard he was a pretty nasty
piece of work.

In what way, sir?

Oh, I don't know.

The sort of man that women like and men
have no use for. That sort of thing.

Anything, sir?

Anything between him and the present
Mrs. Aylsham Brown?

Clarissa? Good heavens, no, she wouldn't
look twice at a man like that.

So you can't help us at all, sir.

Sorry, there it is.

You've no idea why you should come back
to this house a second time this

evening? Not a clue.

Oh, why the body was found in that
recess?

Well, of course not.

Well, thank you, Mr. Birch.

What? Thank you, sir.

That's all.

You've been a great help, Mr. Birch.

Oh.

George, Mr. Birch.

Not that way, sir, if you please.

Through here, please.

Nasty bit of business, sir.

JP being mixed up in a murder.

It is.

Delahaye. Sir Roland Edward Mark.

KCB, MVO.

Educated, Eton, Trinity College.

Attached, Foreign Office. Second
Secretary, Madrid.

Plenty... Plenty... Plenty of potential,
sir.

Constantinople, Foreign Office.

Special Commission rendered clubs,
boodles, whites.

Shall I get him now, sir?

Him? Delahaye, sir.

I will see Sir Roland Delahaye later.

Fetch young Warren.

Yes, sir.

Looking for somebody?

Yes, sir.

Mr. Warren, now, please.

Oh, Mr. Warrender.

Care to sit down?

Thank you very much.

Well, Inspector, everything going
according to plan?

Oh, reasonably well, thank you.

Constable? Now, sir, perhaps it would be
kind enough to give us your full name

and address.

Yes, of course.

Jeremy Warrender, 344 Broad Street and
34 Grosvenor Square.

Country estate, Heppleston, Wiltshire.

Gentleman of independent means.

Well, hardly.

I'm private secretary to Sir Lazarus
Tyne.

At least those were his addresses.

Oh.

Did you know Oliver Costello, sir? Well,
I'd heard of him, of course, Inspector,

but never met him until tonight.

You didn't see him when he came here
earlier this evening? No, no, not until

after he was, you know... Now, I'd gone
to the club with the others. We were

dining there. It was the servants' night
out, and Mr. Birch asked us if we'd be

his guests at the club.

Was, uh... Was Mrs. Elsham Brown asked
as well?

I know.

No? Well, I mean, she could have come,
of course, if she'd wanted to.

Oh, I see. So she was asked, but she
refused.

No, no, she didn't refuse. I don't think
you've got the idea. The thing is, you

see, her husband is rather late getting
down here at nights, and, well, in that

case, they generally have a scratch meal
at home.

I see. So Mrs. Ayrton Brown was
expecting her husband to dine here

Do you know if she was expecting him to
go out again as soon as he came in?

Now, look here, Inspector, I really
don't know what she expects.

It seems very odd to me that Mrs. Elsham
Brown should not go down to the club

instead of remaining here and dining all
by herself.

Well, you know, you are forgetting that
there's the child, Pippa. I mean, she

wouldn't want to leave her in the house
by herself. Unless, of course, she was

preparing to receive a visitor of her
own.

It's a very unpleasant thing to say,
Inspector, and I'm quite sure it isn't

true. Now, look, sir.

Costello came here to meet someone.

The servants are all out.

Miss Peekers are on cottage.

There really was no one else he could
have met except Mrs. Elsham Brown.

What, sir?

Oh,

well, I really don't know.

Look, Inspector, all I can say is why
not ask Mrs. Halesham -Brown?

I have done, sir.

Now, perhaps you'll tell me how you
happened to come back here from the

Was that the original plan?

Yes. I mean, no. Which do you mean?

Well, look, Inspector, it went like
this. We all went to the club together.

Rowley and Hugo went in to dinner, and I
went out and had a bit of practice on

the putting green.

Later, when I rejoined them, someone
suggested bridge.

I said, that's a splendid idea. Let's go
back to the house and play. So we did.

So it was your idea. I don't know whose
idea it was.

Hugo Burch's, I think.

And you're right back here when, sir? I
can't say exactly.

I suppose we left the club shorter
before eight.

It's a five -minute walk.

And you played bridge?

Yes.

It was about 20 minutes before my
arrival.

Surely you didn't have time to play two
rubbers and begin a third.

Oh, no, no. That first rubber must have
been yesterday's score, yes.

But only one person seems to have
scored. Surely four people score in a

game.

Yes, yes, I realise that, but I'm afraid
we were a bit lazy about it and left it

to Clarissa.

Did you know about the passageway
between this room and the library?

You mean the place where they found the
body? Yes, that's right. Oh, I had no

idea. Absolutely fantastic bit of
camouflage. I mean, you'd never guess,

you now? Oh, no, not in a thousand
years. I mean... You couldn't know there

a body in there, could you? No, you
could have knocked me over with a

the saying goes.

I mean, that's just blood and thunder
melodrama.

I couldn't really believe my eyes.

Are these your gloves, Mr. Winder?

No. Oh, wait a minute.

Yeah. Oh, yes, yes. Yes, they're mine,
Inspector.

In fact, you wore them when you came
back from the golf club.

That's right, yes.

Bit of a nip in the air, you know.

I think you're mistaken.

These have got Mr. Hale's and Brown's
initials in them.

Well, you know, I mean, I would have
paid just like that.

These, perhaps?

Oh, no, you don't catch me a second
time, not with that one. No, no, I mean,

keep on showing me pairs of gloves. I
don't know one from the other, now, do

Three pairs of gloves, and, yes, all
with Mr. H. and Brown's initials in

Curious. Very curious, indeed.

Thank you, Mr. Wander. That's all for
now.

Have you been all suggesting that I...
Suggesting what?

No, no, nothing, nothing, Inspector.

Oh, excuse me, sir.

This way, please.

What do you make of that, then?
Elementary, my dear Watson.

Pass me the usual, Jones. Yes, sir.

Ah, let's see.

Stein, Stein, N -M -L -P, N -L -P -Q -R
-S -S.

There we are. Stein, Sylvester.

Chairman, Saxon Arabian Oil Company,
Gulf Petroleum Company.

Clubs, no matter.

Recreations, philately.

Stamp collecting.

Gulf fishing, address 340 Broad Street,
34 Grosvenor Square. That's it.

What's that?

It's a card, sir. I can see it's a card.
Where'd you get it? Down there, sir.

Have a look.

It's a space.

Blue.

That's it.

Same pack. Come on, Jones. See if you
can find it.

No ace of spades there.

Remarkable, Jones.

Quite remarkable.

Yes, sir.

Remarkable. All right, get Delahaye.

Sir Roland Delahaye, sir?

Yes.

The inspector caught me on the bridge
alley by all right. And he found the

gloves, too.

I'm afraid I made an awful mess of
things. I knew it was all wrong, damn

We're sinking lower and lower into the
blinking quicksand.

Now, I'd like to discuss the case with
you, if I may, sir.

How very agreeable of you, Inspector.

Thank you, Sir Roland.

Now, you gentlemen were at the club
eating a cold supper.

That's right.

And while we were at the table, Mrs.
Hales from Brown rang up to say that as

husband was going out unexpectedly, it
might be a good idea if the three of us

came over here to make a four for
Bridge, which we did.

And we'd been playing about 20 minutes
or so when you turned up.

The rest you know.

Well, that's not quite Mr. Warner's
account of the matter, sir.

Oh, isn't it?

What did he say?

Well, he said that the suggestion to
come back here and play Bridge came from

one of you three.

Mr. Birch, he thought.

Well, Inspector, you know as well as
anybody that...

Two people's account of the same thing
seldom agrees.

In fact, if three people were to agree
exactly, I should regard it as

suspicious.

Very suspicious.

Yes, yes, that's true, sir.

Now, sir, I think that Mr. Costello came
here to visit a particular person. It

could have been anyone except Mr. Birch,
who doesn't live here.

You had, uh...

You had no reason for wishing to murder
him, had you, sir?

Is that an accusation, Inspector?

Oh, no, no, sir, no. It's more an
elimination.

Oh, I see.

How well did you know Mr. Warriner, sir?

Oh, I met him here a couple of days ago.
He's a friend of the Halesham Browns.

Seems a decent enough fellow.

Well, so much for Mr. Warriner.

Which brings me to my next question. How
well do I know the Halesham Browns?

Mrs. Halesham Brown, Clarissa, is my
ward, for whom I have the deepest

and admiration.

Well, that bouncer makes certain things
very clear.

Oh, does it? Yes, sir.

Why did you come back here and pretend
to play bridge?

Pretend? Yes, sir.

This card was found under the sofa.

Now, you couldn't have played bridge
without the ace of spades, could you,

No.

Not very well. And I also think that
three pairs of Mr. Hailsham Brown's

need some explanation.

There, I'm afraid I can't help you.

No, sir.

Now, Mrs Aylsham Brown knew the body was
in that recess.

You may have hoped to put it there, I
don't know.

But I think Costello came here to see
her to obtain money by threats.

Threats of what? I don't know, sir.
That'll come out later, no doubt.

But Mrs Aylsham Brown is a gay, young
and attractive lady.

Costello was attractive to the ladies,
so they say.

Inspector, don't you think you're
entirely on the wrong track?

Why are you so certain Costello came
here to see a person?

Why could it have been a place?

What do you mean, sir? When you
mentioned the late Mr. Selim, you said

narcotics squad took a great interest in
him.

Isn't there a possible link there?

Drugs, Selim, Selim's house.

Costello has been here once before, I
understand.

Ostensibly to look at Selim's antiques.

Supposing Costello wanted something in
this house.

This desk, for instance.

The desk?

Somebody offered a ridiculous price for
it. Supposing it was the death Costello

wanted to examine or search, if you
like.

And supposing someone followed him here,
and that someone struck him down.

Your supposition being that this
somebody put the body in the recess.

Exactly.

But it'd have to be someone that knew
the secret place.

Someone who knew the house in Selen's
time.

Yes. No.

No, sir. Nope.

That doesn't explain why Mrs. Aylsham
Brown tried to prevent us looking in

there. She knew the body was in there.

Will you allow me to speak to my ward?

Yes, sir, but only in my presence.

That'll do.

Get Mrs. Elsham Brown.

Yes, sir.

Well, how's Pippa?

She's fast asleep. Where is everybody?

Well, Miss Peake's in there. She's fast
asleep, too.

And Rona's in there.

Still in there?

Will Mrs. Elsham Brown come in, please?

Oh, what's he been up to?

Will you please tell the inspector the
truth?

The truth?

It's the only thing to do.

Thank you.

Now, madam, I'd like the true fact.

Well, it was all very simple.

First of all, Oliver Costello left, then
Henry returned and left, then I came in

here with the sandwiches.

Sandwiches? Yes, you see...

Henry is collecting a very important
diplomat from abroad, a Mr Jones.

Go on. Then I returned in here and
practically fell over the body,

as Oliver Costello and didn't know what
to do.

Didn't occur to you to phone the police?

Yes, but I didn't think it would be very
nice for Henry.

I see. Well, I'm glad you understand,
because the body was absolutely dead.

There was nothing I could do about it.
And I thought it might as well be lying

dead in Marsden Waters in my drawing
room.

How does Marsden Wood come into this?

Well, that was where I was thinking of
dumping it. Only there wasn't time.

I see. So you persuaded the three men to
hide it in the recess?

Yes, it was very helpful of them, don't
you think?

I don't believe a word of it.

There's only one reason why those three
men would agree to tell a lie.

And what could that be? If they believed
or knew that you'd killed him.

Oh, very well.

I shall tell you the truth.

I think that will be wiser, madam.

I went into the kitchen to make the
sandwiches for Henry and Mr Jones's

And I thought I heard very strange
noises.

I was petrified.

I walked back through the hall with my
sandwiches and I really did hear

something. Where?

In here.

Go on. So I went to the hall stand and I
got that heavy stick and I took it with

me into the library and got into the
recess that side.

So that you could see what was going on
in here.

Exactly. Then I... pressed the button,
and there was a man standing, holding

something bright and shining. I thought
it was a revolver. I thought he was

going to shoot me.

So I hit him with all my might.

Is it all right?

Yeah, fine. Go on.

He fell.

It was Oliver Costello.

He was dead.

I was so frightened, I rang the golf
club. They came over, and I begged them

take the body somewhere.

But why?

Publicity. My husband, his career.

I would have gone through with it if it
hadn't been someone we actually knew.

And on top of that, Costello had been
trying to blackmail you.

Blackmail? Yes.

Well, that's silly.

But Elgin the butler overheard some talk
about blackmail. Elgin? Yes.

Oh, of course, yes.

That was it? That was what? Well, you
see, Oliver Costello heard that we were

only paying ten guineas a week for this
house furnished. And he said to me,

well, you must have some pull.

Or is it blackmail?

And I said, that's it, blackmail. And
that's what Elgin overheard.

Mrs. Herschel -Brown, I hope you won't
mind my saying this, but I find it very

difficult to believe that you're only
paying ten guineas a week for

Court. But then you don't believe
anything I say.

Now, I can't prove the other things, but
I can prove this one.

Here we are.

Ten guineas a week, furnished tenancy.

You're absolutely right.

But this is extraordinary, because I
knew the estate was asking 50 guineas a

week before you took it over. Well, now,
perhaps you'll believe some of the

other things I've said.

Oh, I'm not doubting your final story,
madam.

We generally recognise the truth when we
hear it.

Well, Inspector, everything all right?

Rowley?

I told the inspector everything, how I
hit the man on the top of the head, and

when I realized it was Costello, I
thought it'd be much cozier in Marsden

Clarissa, what on earth have you been
saying?

Oh, it's all right, sir. Mrs. Ocean
Brown's made a very full statement, so

seems. It was the only thing to do.

Now, Mrs. Ocean Brown, perhaps you'll
show me exactly where the man was

when you came through that way.

Of course.

Jones?

Yes, I think he was standing about here.

I see. All right, Jones.

Then the panel went back.

You came through.

It's gone.

Hey, body!

The body's gone.

Yes. What's this?

April Fool.

Jones!

What happened to the body? I don't know.

Anyhow, it proves one thing.

Costello opened this secret drawer.

Why didn't you tell the inspector the
truth? I did tell him the truth, all

except the bit about Pepper. He didn't
believe me. Then why did you stuff him

with all that nonsense? Because he
believed that.

You know, you're in a dickens of a jam.

This could be manslaughter.

Self -defense.

This is the end of your pranks. I've had
all I can take. I'm going to search

house and grounds and tear the place
apart.

And when I find the body, I'm going to
charge the whole lot of you with

the investigation of a murder.

Dr. Berry.

Sorry I'm late.

Well, where's the body?

There was a body, but it seems to have
vanished.

Do you mean to say you brought me out
here in a wild goose chase?

Rarely, Inspector.

There was a body, wasn't there?

Yes, sir.

You needn't get jumpy.

You know I've been telling you you
needed a rest. I do not need a rest. Now

look, there was a body and I saw it.

Well, it doesn't seem to be here now.

Best thing we can do is to go back to
headquarters.

I suppose so.

Good night, Inspector.

Good night.

Go and search the kitchen quarters.

And take this.

Go on, get a mover.

Yes, sir.

Thank you, Daphne.

Don't worry, I'll find it.

Excuse me, I'm going to lie down.

Is it true? What? About the body. Yes,
it's disappeared.

Who took it? Don't ask me. Where's that
peak woman? In the gun room. Right.

What are you doing up here? I'm just
going to have a lie down.

Well, I suggest you use this room. We
still have more searching to do. I

That's Sir Roland's room.

Madam, if you don't mind.

What? Where?

In your bed. In my bed?

Yes. I thought it was such a good hiding
place.

You mean you put it there?

Yes.

Is the inspector livid?

No, no, he's just having hysterics. Oh,
good.

Miss Peake, why did you take it?

Because you've got to have a body before
they can charge you with murder.

But she didn't kill him.

Well, if she didn't kill him, who did?

And in the meantime, the body remains in
my bed.

Only for 24 hours.

Oh, thank you very much.

Now, you know, I've been doing a bit of
thinking.

I dug a deep trench for the sweet peas
this morning.

Look, we could bury the body in it and
then plant the sweet peas on top.

They should do very well.

Yes, I think so.

Now, the point is, who killed Costello?

Clarissa?

Pepper, why are you out of bed?

Well, I heard men talking, so I thought
I'd come down.

Besides, I thought it might be true.

What might be true?

The horrible dream about Oliver.

Oliver? What dream about Oliver?

Tell me.

Well, I made this tonight.

I melted down a wax candle.

I stuck a red hot pin through it. I said
the right words and everything.

But I couldn't do it quite as the book
said. The book?

She showed it to me earlier, Clarissa.
Something she'd bought at a second -hand

bookstore. Called it a recipe book, I
believe.

That's right.

It gives a hundred well -tried and
trusty spells.

It tells you how to destroy your enemy.

Is that what you did?

Yes. I wasn't very like Oliver.

I couldn't get any cuttings of his hair.

But it was as like him as I could make
it.

And then, I dreamed.

I thought I came downstairs.

He was there.

Is it true? Did I kill him?

No, darling, no.

But I came down.

I came downstairs and I saw him dead.

Yes, dear, but you didn't kill him.

Somebody hit him over the head with a
big stick.

Do you mean a golf club like Jeremy had?

No, no, Pippa, not a golf club. He means
the big stick that's kept in the hall

stand. Oh, no, I didn't do that. I
couldn't.

I wouldn't have killed him, really. Of
course not, darling.

What a fool I've been.

I should have realised it was
impossible.

But Pippa told me she'd killed Oliver
and I thought it was true.

You mean you thought it was Pippa?

Yes, darling, yes.

I see. That explains a lot, doesn't it?

Yes.

Now I understand why you agreed to help
her, Rowley. But hadn't we better tell

the police about this latest
development?

I don't know. She's told the police
three stories already.

Well, I feel like a cuppa.

So do I.

Join me?

Thanks. I do what I do.

I'm parched.

After you. No, after you.

Oh, well, just as you like.

Well, darling, it's time you went back
to bed.

I'll take you up there.

Come on.

Well, Clarissa?

I'm so relieved I can hardly speak.

But who was the real murderer?

Oh, heaven knows.

I should leave that one to the police.

But who phoned the police?

Probably one of Costello's cronies.

Why did Costello search the desk?

And what about Miss Peake?

Why did she really move the body?

She probably wanted the exercise.

Do you think she was trying to help me?

And what is a woman like that doing as a
gardener here?

The way she fusses about this house,
anybody would think she owned it.

I've got an idea.

What? What was the name of Mr. Sellon's
antique shop?

Wait a minute.

No, I can't remember.

Broly might know. Come on. Yes.

Broly.

What was the name of Sellon's antique
shop?

Oh, it had a double name. Sellon,
Sellon... Sellon and Brown. That's it.

Sellon and Brown. And our name is
Hailsham Brown. And we got this place

cheap. Follow me?

No. I'm lost.

Well, Selin's partner is a woman and she
lives in London. Today we had a

telephone call. Somebody asking to speak
to a Mrs. Brown.

Not a Mrs. Hailsham Brown, just a Mrs.
Brown.

Today, somebody murdered Oliver.

Now, it wasn't Henry and it wasn't Hugo
and it wasn't any of us and it wasn't

Pippa, thank heaven.

Who was it?

It's as I told the inspector. It's an
outside job.

Somebody followed Oliver here.

Why should they?

He didn't expect to see me here.

He thought this house belonged to
somebody else.

He was expecting to meet Mrs. Brown,
Sellen's partner.

But wouldn't he know that you and Henry
had the house? Wouldn't Miranda know?

Miranda communicates through her
lawyers, no.

Oliver was surprised to see me. That's
why he made the excuse about Pippa. Then

he pretended to go away, but he came
back.

Peaks Cottage.

Peaks Cottage.

What exactly are you doing?

I'm looking for something.

Oh, no, no, no. You could be arrested
for that, you know.

It's not half as bad as being a
murderer. A murderer? Look, let's get

here quickly, shall we? It's all right.

I've found it.

Found what?

I'm sorry, Miss Peake, but I had to
know.

Had to know?

Your real name, and now I know it.

Correspondence in the name of Brown.

You're Mrs. Brown, aren't you?

Yes, I'm Mrs. Brown.

Sellen's partner?

And you own Copleston Court? You
inherited it with the business.

You tried to find a tenant with the name
of Brown, but you settled for Hailsham

Brown. True?

Yes.

Quite true.

Look, Charles Sellam was murdered.

He discovered something very valuable. I
don't know how, I don't even know what.

Whoever killed him found nothing.

Probably because it wasn't in the shop,
it was...

Here at Cobblestone Court.

I felt sure the murderer would return
sooner or later.

So I wanted to keep watch.

But to do that, I had to have a dummy
Mrs. Brown.

It didn't worry you that a perfectly
innocent woman, Mrs. Halesham Brown,

be in danger?

I'm sorry, I never thought of that. But
yesterday, when those men came and

offered that ridiculous price for that
desk, I knew I was on the right track.

But I swear there's nothing of value in
that desk.

Did you examine the secret drawer?

Secret drawer? No.

Why, is there one?

Pepper found one, but there was nothing
in it, just a few old autographs.

Clarissa, I'd rather like to see those
autographs again.

I suggest we go back to the house at
once.

Go on. Yes.

What do you mean the woman's real name
is Brown?

I'll tell you later.

Clarissa, where are those autographs? In
that box, the shell one.

Oh, yes.

Ah, thank you.

Thanks.

Now then, let's have a look.

Victoria Regina, God bless her.

Faded brown ink, John Ruskin.

Seems authentic.

Robert Browning. The paper's not as old
as it ought to be.

What do you mean?

During the war, I was in the Foreign
Office and I had some experience with

invisible ink.

But what could Charles Sellon have
written in invisible ink that's worth 25

pounds? Nothing at all, dear lady.

But it's occurred to me it might be a
question of safety.

Safety? Costello was suspected of
supplying drugs.

Selen, so the inspector tells us, was
questioned several times by the

squad. There's a connection there, don't
you think?

Of course, it may be just a foolish
fancy of mine, but it occurs to me that

Selen may have written something on this
paper in invisible ink.

Shall we try a little experiment?

How?

Just a little gentle heat.

Let's go into the kitchen.

I can't bear it if nothing happens.

We mustn't expect too much.

Hello?

Hello? Here we are.

Yes, it's writing.

We've got it.

What is it?

A list of one, two, three, four, five,
six names and addresses.

Distributors in the drug racket, I
should say.

And one of the names is Oliver Costello.

That's why he came here to get this. And
somebody must have followed him. And

killed him.

Extraordinary.

What do you think about it, Jeremy?

Well, I don't really know what to say,
really.

I think the Lord would like to see you
all again in the drawing room, please.

With pleasure.

Excuse me.

Thank you.

If you'd like to wait here a moment, the
inspector won't keep you long.

Jeremy. Why?

Hello, Clarissa.

Oh, I wouldn't advise you to call out my
name.

Do you know that never in all my
supposings did I dream

that you were the murderer?

Didn't you, Clarissa?

You came back from the club and killed
Oliver Costello.

Pippa was right. She actually saw you
carrying the stick.

Only it wasn't your golf stick. Don't be
quiet. Come away from the door. No,

you're quite right.

It wasn't my golf club.

Why did you do it, Jeremy?

Because of this.

An envelope.

Yes, yes.

But the stamp on it is worth 25 ,000
pounds.

Here. Where's Jeremy? And Clarissa?

There.

Do you think you'll get away with it?

Wait a minute. Get up.

Wait a minute. Let's go.

Let's go.

Take the big window.

Darling, you've all been a wonderful
help today, but don't you think we

go to bed now?

Bed?

I'm all set for the night.

Yes, of course.

Come on, Hugo, give us a song.

That's enough.

Teresa! It's Henry and the P .I .V. You
mean the V .I .P.

What the devil are you all doing here?

We are pulling ourselves together.

Darling... Miss Peake just popped in to
discuss her vegetables. No, she didn't,

did she? Where are they? They're in the
garden. I came ahead. They're following

with an escort of motorcycle police.

We're surrounded.

I know. Quick, everyone, into one of the
bedrooms.

And, Clarissa, get those bottles
cleared.

And get the ashtrays cleaned.

May I speak your court, sir?

It's no good.

It's no good. What a pity.

Elgin's letting them in.

I'm done for.

Clarissa.

Henry. Henry. I'm terribly sorry.

Really. It's not my fault. There was a
murder and the police were here.

Clarissa, listen to me.

Supposing you were in a room with four
people who had no business to be there.

What do you suppose you'd do?

Well, I'd open up the hidden panel and
then I'd hide them all in the recess.

Oh, for heaven's sake, Clarissa, can't
you think of anything better than that?

There you are, really.

What's happened? Where is everyone?

Now do you see, darling?

There is a secret panel, and it was
quite true about the murder. Although

don't believe me, do you?

Good luck. Good gracious. I mean, good
luck. No, I don't. I mean, thank you,

darling.

I wonder why it is that nobody ever
believes me.